Draknophobia
by Experiment 282
Summary: I refused to talk about it at first. But maybe I can trust you with my secret fear...and shame. I've decided that this is my story to share to you, on how to overcome and to learn how to believe. F!Dragonborn X Brynjolf.
1. Introductions

**Chapter 1 – Introductions.**

I'm sitting at the Ragged Flagon, having an ale. My fingers follow the cold curves of the tankard as I slouch back in my chair in my solid little corner by myself in the dreary, barely lit, sorry of an excuse of a tavern in the infamy of my Thieves Guild gear. This was a fragment of the world that was surrounded in a drip: humid, moist and the smell of the sweat of everyone man and woman in the cistern.

Some might say this isn't the best life for me but Talos' be damned if I didn't say I'm thankful to be alive. I'm just a pretentious and sneaky bitch and I'm proud of it. I've been part of the Thieves Guild for several months now. There are days where people in general just piss me off while others I'm having the time of my life.

Maybe you don't care about my life story, maybe you're curious how this light brown haired nord girl with the angry light blue eyes, that was born into an ordinary family, got wrapped up in this rag tag group of the most cunning group of men and women this side of Tamriel. Don't worry about a tragic past here people, my parents are still alive, I'd wager, tending to the farm in Northern Cyrodiil. Average, uneventful.

My memory is a little fuzzy on how I got here though...I can tell you the rest of that part of my life was my head on the chopping block and some how surviving and execution and...maybe not. No. I'm not going that way. That's the tragic part.

I feel like a younger girl, saying I'm not like other nords. While it is expected that we value honour and tradition above all us and that we're fighters to our last breath. Noble enough, but even I'd admit sometimes it'd get so ridiculously stupid that when I heard about the Civil War, I was just like, seriously people. Put your damn pride away. I'm sure there are way more important issues to deal with.

I don't know the whole story behind it, hearing it in other conversations during my travels and from my fellow Guild members. I don't give two septims about the war. All I care about is living from one day to the next and earning enough coin to keep it that way.

Your brow is furrowing isn't it? Where do I fit in with the Thieves Guild. Do I hear you say that why don't you just find some other way to make coin. Why don't you just go back to farming?

Why? Farming was as boring, repetitive and just...ugh...a rebellion! Hah! How cliché!

I become repulsed to the outright boring renditions of life. But, you say, I could have wound up with the Companions! At least they're favoured and well liked by the community and make plenty of coin. With plenty of honor and drink and feasting and all that nordic crap.

To be truthful, it could have ended that way. It was appealing at first. After...Helgen I did end up at Whiterun. But now I'm in Riften, getting plenty of coin. So shut up and keep your opinions to yourself...

But to those not questioning me just yet, good. I like you already. I think we can be friends. Friends let other friends on secrets so they are connected. A series of exclusivity between you and me. I've never had a friend before. Had friends in Cyrodiil but Skyrim is full of naught and frustrated old men and women. You work or you get neglected and left to rot. So you put effort in and make yourself worth while. Then you make friends...brothers...sisters. You know the fuzzy feeling you get when you're close to someone. No not that fuzzy feeling. I meant that...never mind. All you need to know is while hard work is respected, it can also been forgotten.

The Thieves Guild were sceptical of me joining their insipid ranks. Hey, it's not my fault Mr. Bigshot Brynjolf roped me into his scheming and plotting and all that bullcrap. I'd broken the law, aye, but I got away with it. He even seemed impressed that it actually went well. So I was sceptical of the Guild. So they were just jealous instead. Hah.

I never took it to heart of course. I'm a loner at heart but that's what made the work so good. Sneaking around, taking things by myself. Then getting my fair share at the end of it. Ironic isn't it? I do as I'm told by the bounds of the Guild but not by the laws of the realm. I never have to hurt anyone...well, not physically anyway. And I learn. I learn every single day and I become damn good at what I do. I work smarter, not harder.

Never really cared that no one besides Delvin or Vex talk to me for work, Vekel for the drinks and Tonilia for exchanging 'goods.' I was fine with it. An unspoken arrangement. Work never became boring. It was always exciting with the uncertain risk of getting caught. Often got the blood pumping.

I trained originally with several others to ensure that I'd survive and get through jobs quicker with their valued techniques. I practice with the locks in the training room and practiced with my bow in the training room, hoping I'd never actually get to use it. I'll try not to. The Guild frowns upon deaths on the job. I told them that they were worrying too much. I hate blood. Blood sickens me.

Reminds me of the stubborn pride of my people.

I retied my hair up into my pony tail. I always fiddled with my hair. Girly I know. To be considered feminine, I'd have to pray to Dibella to give me the gift of beauty. Beauty is useful for my line of work. Vex and Sapphire could vouch for that, meaning you can trick men into practically giving things to you. I'd have to admit those two were quite the catch themselves. I don't bend that way, I'm just giving those two the compliments they deserve. They put up with so much shit themselves.

Vex gets' constantly hit on by Delvin and Sapphire by Vipir. Me? I avoid the others like they were skeevers. They mean well sometimes but I know better than to avoid grown up lusting men who think more with their downstairs contraptions than the organs in their heads.

Brynjolf was the quiet one though. If I have to say he was the most levelled headed one besides Guildmaster Mercer. Not to say Delvin isn't, but he has his quirks. Considers the guild, 'cursed' for luck. Everyone has their theories but I make sure to make them look good.

I don't hate these people, don't ever mistake my displeasure for them for hatred. If I hated them I would have isolated myself elsewhere and gone off to another town for work. Probably would have been a bard! Nah, just kidding. But I have to admit the luxury would be nice. I just would not prefer to open my mouth.

Not again anyway.

Yeah so you would wager I don't talk much to others if you're smart enough to read between the lines. It's true, I'll admit it. But so much had gone on it's quite painful to talk about. But since we're going to be friends, I suppose I can let you in on something.

Helgen started it. The only thing I can say is that the image of bed, bleeding red eyes encased in giant, black, spiked monstrosity that put the fear of the Gods in me. Since then, I'd been reluctant to do anything. I never had anything planned out until the Imperial, Hadvar (probably the nicest one there, the only thing I can point out was his hesitation to put me to the axe. Why in Oblivion...never mind, not important.) navigated me and instructed me throughout our escape from the...incident.

I never fully recovered from it. I took the information to Whiterun. Met the Jarl. I'm wary of authority but you know, if it'd helped. I wasn't going to leave the poor sods in Riverwood open to an attack like that. (Since Riverwood was the next town after Helgen, they were most like susceptible to an attack)

Anyway, Jarl gets me to do a few jobs and you know, easy. Now, Draugr I could handle. My belief is the dead should stay dead and that was that. Arkay did not mean for the life, death then life again. Seriously it does not work that way. You don't know how many stories I've read where bad things happen with necromancy. Yeah, there's my excuse for not going to the College of Winterhold. You were thinking about that weren't you?

Aye, I gave no indication on that topic, just forget it now. Back to the story.

Now, at that stage there was obviously more going on that I'd care to know about. Retrieval isn't hard. I'm pretty capable with a bow. I used to go hunting with my father. I have good efficiency and aim and despise wasting arrows so I make every shot count.

But...no. I'm...not talking about it. I want to but I can't. Seriously I can't.

Stop pressuring me. Quit it.

Okay, you made me sigh, a well known sign of defeat. Very well. I'm just going tell you the short version. I was ordered to go to the Western Watchtower. On the account of a rumour a soldier that had just been there. I was like, okay. Sounded simple enough. It was amazing that the Jarl became fascinated by the fact that I was some magical figure he could trust. So went there and...

Stuff happened. Crazy, messed up, eldritch magic just...

I'd fled to Riften. I hated the entire experience. So none of this makes sense to you? What in Oblivion forced my hand? What is it that pushed me in a bizarre direction? Reactions are reactions and it was just unpredicted. Simple as that.

Oh come on we just became friends. You want to know more? By Talos fine! I'll tell you...then let's head back into the kick of things. Oh, I never told you name either. Sorry.

My name is Petra and I have a pathological fear of Dragons.


	2. Thanks

**Chapter 2  
Thanks**

Jobs came and went. It became the day-to-day to basis for my life. (Or at times, was night-to-night)

Still sitting in my little corner of the flagon with my signature tankard. Vekel knew it was mine, it had my name on it. He got a bit pissed I graffiti his stuff. He got over it eventually, but my gut told me that was still annoyed by it.

So far I've learned during my time in the Thieves Guild, that when you first join, everyone hates you. Simple as that. It's rare that they like you at first glance, only because, hey, you're the new blood. You don't know the ropes or the tiny secret things they do. You might be in but by Talos they don't make you feel that way. You feel out of it, like some kind of outsider looking in.

I felt that at first. I wasn't liked as expected. I didn't care. I wasn't there to make friends. I make my contributions, do what ever and sleep. Sometimes they'd play jokes on me. Especially Vipir, the stupid bastard.

Sapphire, while a bitch at first, had her own reasons. I could sense a pain in her heart. It's weird how we girls have this touch of empathy with one another. But I could tell she was glad there was another female in the group. She never said it herself but she'd go off at the men for their idiotic schemes. She was like me, in a way. We wanted to be left alone. Which was fair enough. Like I'd explained previously, I avoid people. Simple. I dealt with people but the challenge was to make sure they didn't notice you. I liked it that way. But in the end, I was still an ordinary woman.

Over time, the weeks after you first join, you eventually find your little niche. Your own place in the guild. Not that anyone respects you still, but they either get bored and even forget you're still there. In my case, I slapped Vipir in the face and demanded he stop putting fish in my bed. He was ready to bash my skull in until Brynjolf intervened. He actually told them to stop pestering me. Brynjolf, the red-headed second-in-command, managed to care enough for them to stop.

One of my quirks, is my inability to say thank you. I wasn't deserving of help since I prefer to do things myself. I had glared at Vipir, then walked away.

No, I went to Delvin, got a job and had full intentions of leaving the cistern, until I was grabbed by the shoulder. One of my pet peeves is being touched by other people. I detest it. Loathe it. I promised myself I would punch the person who touched me.

I turned around with rage quickly building inside of me. Ohhh this person was gon-

It was Brynjolf.

Why was the second-in-command talking to me again?

"Don't mind the boys lass. They won't be bothering you any more." He said calmly. Brynjolf had the body of a brute, whipped up in his black guild master version of our armour.

You know, I saw Bryn as one of those optimistic people in the middle of a pessimists crowd. The day he dragged me in here he was hopeful that what he'd seen in me was a light in the storm. He was impressed, happy even that I'd been one of the successful ones to join and actually not walk away. I needed the coin at the time and thought, why not? Though the guild was falling apart as of late, Brynjolf just kept pushing things along, the heavier they got. He honestly did not belong here in this sewer of brooding and failures.

I never bothered to stare him in the eyes. I glanced to the side, apathetic.

I never said thanks.


	3. Travel

**Chapter 3 Travel**

I'd been over to Markarth to rewrite a ledger in the local shop there. The guild had organised a heist of goods coming from Solitude. Shipments to Markarth were often raided by the Forsworn, natives of the Reach. Disgusting. I just can't take people seriously wearing something as thin and barely-skin-covering as practical. They were nuttier than Sheogorath.

I'd saved a ladies life from someone proclaiming to be Forsworn but the guards quickly covered that crap. It was fishy, but this was not my problem. I am a lady of the Rift. Hah..yeah, a real lady.

I was discreet in my endeavour as always. Pick lock to get inside, scribble and stuff and get the Oblivion out.

What I liked about the Thieves Guild was that you didn't have to be flashy or glamorous and the only expectations they had of you was how much coin you'd make. Pity majority of the people wasted much of their coin on petty gambling or getting drunk. Me. Just making a living. That was all.

Responsibility was tiring and felt so restrictive. I wanted my freedoms. Boundaries were made to safeguard certain aspects but they were there to protect ourselves and the sanctity of the Guild. Nothing could be said about it's dignity though.

Be it as it may, I enjoyed the attention it didn't give me. It was part of the requirement to be ignored and shafted aside. I was content to live out my life in such a peaceful way that the quietness was a song that was soothing to my ears. Nords can be a noisy, dirty and brash bunch and I hated that. So typical of my people.

Aye, the rebel in me refused to conform to societal standards. The Guild was unto itself and more. I don't doubt that every single man and woman in there was in for themselves but there was no shame in it. It'd been encouraged.

So I made my way back to Riften with my work done. One part of these kinds of jobs was the distance. Solitude and Markarth were the worst, requiring me to go from one part of the province to the other and I despised it.

You're guessing it now that I'm just being an milk-drinker and complaining about every single damn thing. I don't give two septims about what you think. I am allowed to hate things as I wish. While I can hate, complain, whinge and whine, I put up with it. I am alive and that is the only quality I am thankful for.

All I need you to do is listen. You may not understand but given time a part of you will see me for what I am.

I went along the long road with horse, Cody. Such a loyal horse and the only companion I could trust with it's rich red coat and white mane and tail. It had a white diamond on it's face which I thought was adorable.

While I liked the silence and though I am talking to you now, I chatted with Cody as a true friend. Cody never made judgement, never commented or made a smart ass remark. I bought him from the Stables after a successful heist made me a lot of money. I'd always wanted horse of my own after riding the horses back in Cyrodiil. Skyrim horses aren't as fast but their endurance is well worth the trade. Sorry I was just laughing at the prospect of Cody putting up with my antics. Enduring in more ways than one.

I relayed my doubts, my fears, my heart into talking with Cody and it just made me feel a lot better. We'd come across the odd traveler down the road where I stopped talking.

But Petra, you just said you didn't care what people would think?

No, you misunderstand. I spoke to Cody about my secrets. It was never about looking strange from giving casual conversation to a horse, but from other people finding out more about me. They knew nothing and deserved to know nothing.

I'd made it to Whiterun and slowly trotted past the central hub of Skyrim. I'd been back there a few times but never made it back to Dragonsreach to tell the Jarl what had happened that day at the Western Watchtower. So...

I fell into melancholy and bad memories. Cody must have sensed this as he bucked, jumping me out of my trance. I patted his head and apologised.

I made him go faster towards the eastern lands, to traverse past pain.

I've hunted down animals on certain jobs. Wolves and spiders mostly. Wolves were sneaky bastards, coming in packs of three, jumping out from the darkness with their stomach on their minds. My arrows often made quick work of them. But they were ravenous. Spiders as well. Their clicking grossness and their web-goo was just. Ew. Gross.

My mother had a fear of spiders. It's a natural phobia in a lot of people. I have the element to hit them where it hurts. I love my mother, I do. She hates the smallest of spiders so dad and I killed them. Funny then but now I know what it feels like to fear. Not...not fear

To dread...

I've apologised to Cody on behalf of saying to sorry to my mother. While we had something in common besides knowing how to cook a mean apple pie, it was a pity we never really got to talk a lot. Our relationship was fine, if not distant. I was often with my father, working on the farm. Not exactly fantastic but it put food on the table.  
My father taught me a lesson that while no one likes doing the dirty work, it's often the most important job of all. Somebody has to do it.  
Just like I have to do the hard yards before I get the relief of sitting back with a tankard full of ale and reading a good book. A reward for good, honest (hah) work. It pleased the bosses, made others envious, which was very telling that I was doing very with myself. I tried to not let it get to my head. Like other stuff.

I'd just gotten past Shor's stone as the sun was about to rise from behind the nearby snow-blanketed mountains. Got to love when nature blesses you with the gift of light. I tried to hurry, the sun was probably my enemy. I'd just been up all night and I was dying to go to bed and sleep.

Everything was fine and dandy. Until a single roar opened my eyes wide.


	4. Run

**Chapter 4 **

**Run**

I hadn't heard that sound in like, forever. My heart was pumping, but not in a good way. I was out of breath and I wasn't even running. Every part of my body froze and Cody just stopped in his tracks. The roars became louder and I started to shake violently.

**No**. Not this again. I...

I forced myself to move and charge myself forward. The sound came from behind. I could sense the lingering tinge of the heat. It had given off a terrible shout. By Talos I pleaded for it to go away, but the memories of Helgen flooded back and the only part in my mind was that terrible dragonfire.

My body argued with me. With everything. My nerves, my muscles...all influenced by this creature that inspired something extremely painful and agonising that I couldn't stand it. My mind was everywhere, scattered in the mess that was my head. Sweat, a clamped throat that prevented me from speaking, my eyes aching as tears fell everywhere. I'd taken every breath as if it were my last. By the Gods, they just might be.

_Yes...the sweat, the tight throat, the flush of heat, the heavy breathing, the inescapable fate of my nightmares._

I turned around, seeing the giant red flying lizard shouting at me, casting it's flames towards me. I flanked to the right, diverting myself into the amber-leaved woods of fall.

I've practised my archery in these woods, for bears and the like. But the beast flew over head, overshooting it's mark and flew around and stared at me. Cody skidded to a halt, while the dragon yet again attempted to cook me.

Please Talos, I didn't want to die.

We continued our hasty rush through the woods, trying to lose it's trail. We came into the thicker part of the woods, as I had hoped to lose in underneath the cover the the trees.

My heart was beating as fast just as it was on that day in Helgen and that day at the Western Watchtower. I was drenched in sweat and salty tears.

Get it together Petra!

It flew off to the side, probably trying to flank me. In that moment, Cody tripped over a rock, sending me flying...

I remember hitting my head on something, a huge surge of pain then the darkness that followed.

* * *

But the darkness came and went as it pleased. I couldn't see Cody, I feared he'd been killed by the Dragon. My head hurt. I pressed my hand against it, feeling a warm ooze. I'd been critically injured and I was barely conscious. Just fantastic Petra you clumsy idiot. Now you're covered in blood. Such a fool! Idiotic, cowards and other refutable insults to myself!

The one thought in my mind was Cody. Please be safe. Run to Riften and stay there...my only...companion was just at the desperation in those forethoghts, as I dragged myself along the ground, trying to find a notable hiding spot. Every effort to move to pure agony. I swallowed hard. Push yourself Petra. Move!

I could hear the Dragon's roars still, but they were getting fainter to hear. It was either I'd hit my head so damn hard it affected my hearing or it was actually leaving. I so desperately hoped it was latter, as you would guess.

I'd looked around. I managed to pick myself off the ground. Magical...I could use a tankard of ale right about now. But seriously though, I'd never picked this job itself to get into anything unbelievably violent. It wasn't a requirement but it'd be handy if in the case I had to something no words could convince a person to do something.

People could be as stubborn as each other. So stuck in their ways that ultimately change challenges them the most. They hate it. They're often called Nords.

Me though, change isn't entirely awful. For reality to stay the same can substantially boring real quickly. Parts of us are naturally stubborn, our hearts that rule our heads. Influenced by pride. Again, it was just an expectation of us.

Stubbornness was not all bad. It could also been seen as a gift from the Gods. A way to tell us not to give up in what we believe in. If you honestly believe such tripe. No, it was a way of refusing us to die.

At that moment that's what it was. I was still damn right shaken with fear and spilling with blood enough for the wolves to suss out, a part of me kept upright. But I could be overcome with the very anxious of the dragons return and unable to move at all.

I honestly had no idea where I was. While the cover of the trees protected me from the sight of the beasts above, it also prevented me from seeing the silhouettes of the trees. Smart Petra, now you really are going to die with no one knowing where you were. I felt more sorry for Cody than for myself. He'd better have gotten himself to safety...

I found a bear cave, two bears. I rolled my eyes and took out my bow. I staggered a bit, a bit stunned still from my concussion. I was willing to fight bears. Easy work. Two shots to their heads. No, two shots to each bears head. They were down and out before they could barely touch me. I was proud I could still had skills despite being injured.

I made my approach to the small cave. To say it was a cave was shameful. I was just a small nook underneath some rocks. There was a distinct rot floating in the air. I'd realised my heart was so twisted and torn from the experience, that that push of the smell made me vomit. I was lucky I knew I was going to, I forced myself to nearby to let go of that apple I ate earlier.

Can you believe I actually started to crawl around? Oh the Guild would start hackling at me. But they don't have stories of fighting off Dragons now do they? All they do is sit around and tell of their crude and sexual jokes was just so...chauvinistic. I don't know how the other girls do it. Especially Vex. Though, they'd never say it around her or they'd risk a dagger to their throats. I wish they were smart like that around me. Perhaps I should just demonstrate the risk of taunting me one day and then they'll learn.

I leaned back on the stone edge behind me. Not exactly comfortable, but a lot better than sitting in the gut of a dragon or with teeth digging into my skin...By the Gods that thought just made my stomach twist so bad that I could have thrown up again. My breath was till heavy and my whole body and muscles were so tense that I became solid in that spot. I sobbed and shook like mad.

My whole body flushed under the image of of the beast. I made utmost dedication to force my head to look to my right, peaking through the bushes of the trees, seeing the sun rise in the distance made relax slightly and smile.

I don't normally smile like that. It hurt. It did little to ease the pain. My throat was sore and tight from fear and my face was wet with salty warm tears.

Everything went dark again.

Then the next thing I know, some red-headed bastard decides to stick his face in when I awoke again.

That's it, I blacked out altogether.


	5. Recovery

**Chapter 5  
Recovery.**

I hated being the damsel in distress. This was pathetic. I wanted to sleep first, wake up feeling better then I could have headed back to the Guild, let Delvin know I had done my job and be done with it. Then sleep again.

You have no idea how angry this made me. I was so pissed off. There was no strength left in me to create cause to argue. I could barely open my mouth to say anything. Let alone raise my fist and to scold my alleged saviour.

He ruined my plan. Ruined all of it. Gah. No why would I tell you this? Now? Does it need telling? Don't you know me by now? You've been blocking out most of the story haven't you. Never mind.

I'm not expecting you to feel sorry for me. I just want you to know and understand. We're friends? Remember?

I drifted in and out of consciousness, hearing the whispers and chatter of my fellow guild members. The voices of Delvin and Vex made the odd comment here and there. I listened in to their conversation as much as my ears could bear. I know someone was doing something to me, but by that stage I as numb...really numb. I wanted to protest, I wanted them to go away and leave me be and I'll recover fine.

Leave me alone.

"What the bloody hell happened out there Bryn? She's bleedin' all over the joint."  
That would have been Delvin, no mistake about that. His accent was a dead give away.  
I could hear Brynjolf's breath over my right ear. He must have been working hard. I distinctly remember that's where I'd hit my head. Or where the actual pain was coming from originally.

"No idea. I'd noticed her horse coming back to the Stables by itself. Petra never leaves her horse by itself."

How could...what? He..how could? What?  
Cody was alive though. Thank the Gods. Has Brynjolf been observing me lately? I had a shiver squirm down my spine.

"How did you know where she was?"

That superior but nice sounding voice was Vex. Nice to hear she sounded like she cared. Funny Vex, you make me laugh.

"Cody has a mind of his own. I'll question Petra about it later when she wakes up. But the horse is very loyal to his owner. Lead me to trail of blood that lead me to bear cavern."

And here we are.

"I'd only sent her to Markarth to do some ledger work." Delvin commented.

Thank you Captain Obvious.

"What in Oblivion was she doing out in the woods then? Unless you're telling me ledger work involves a lot more work than forging numbers. " Vex stated.

No...not really.

"I saw two dead bears nearby. Petra is a good shot but I don't think bears did this to her."

Talos! Brynjolf stop analysing me! It was starting to creep me out.

"No claw markings. Just a great bloody big gash on her head."

I imagined the sound of a slow clap. Ah Brynjolf you amusing fool. I heard another set of heavy footsteps approaching.

"Ah what's the matter? Brynjolf's little pet get hurt in the woods?"

That refreshing sarcasm had to be Mercer. Mercer was a dick but you could at least rely on him to be a dick. I actually heard Brynjolf growl under his breath. Was the red-headed bastard actually taking offence to that? This was going to be good. I heard Vex and Delvin chuckle. I eagerly awaited Brynjolf's retort.

"I see your little Nightingales alerted you to this. So I'll say yes. I just need to finish stitching her up."

I didn't even need to see Mercer's face to know that he just didn't care. I had this deep thought that he would have preferred to leave me in the woods. I was going to be right but the Guild Master would never had to say it. I don't even know why they even bothered to care about one of their own. I would have half-expected to leave me to die out there. That was fine. I didn't actually need them. I would have found work elsewhere eventually. Sovngarde forgive I'd go back to farm work, but I would always remember my fathers words and stick myself to something I hated simply to keep on living.

Brynjolf was just full of surprises. He defends me from the other guild members then outright saves me. It hardly matched up to what the guild offered. This sickened me. I wanted to be ignored. I only wanted to speak to others if they required me. Brynjolf needed me once and that was it. Just give me a call.

How did he know me like that though? Were my quirks, actions and all sorts of personality traits that noticeable, and ergo, that I was actually being cared for? I wanted to stay away from him as much as possible but somehow he preferred placing himself in my life more than I deemed comfortable.

I fell back into the embrace of the darkness once more.


	6. Surface Dwelling

**Chapter 6 **

**Surface Dwelling.**

I woke up feeling light headed after that little incident. No matter. I was awake. I could walk, talk and do what ever.

Like I had planned, I avoided Brynjolf. I only came back down into the Flagon when it was necessary. I stayed adrift on the surface. The sun was a spotlight, but as it was a spotlight on everyone, nobody was deemed special. Perfect.

I saw Ingun Black-Briar floating about. Probably the only one creepier than her Matriarch mother Maven. She had this, obsession for alchemy. She'd been out and about. Word on the street was that she was looking for someone to help her fill out her order of missing ingredients she'd been using in the shop by the canal.

This was an opportunity for me to forget everything that had just taken place earlier that morning and get my mind on something practical and get some coin on the side.

I'd introduced myself to girl who was a near spitting image of her terrifying mother, albeit looking like her in her younger years. But her personality, while the exact opposite of Maven's was peculiar. Different, aye. You know what? I liked that about her. Outspoken in her own family and didn't care for what her mother thought about it. She'd wanted her mother to be proud of her. My own two septims on the subject would basically be either that, and let me just count the outcomes and possibilities on my fingers here...

Either didn't care...highly likely.

Already proud. I was like Maven. People annoyed me, but a select few could be impressive that straight-away secured my respect. Maybe Maven was the same. I almost freaked out.

I uh, had other theories but they just didn't sound like Maven-related. The thoughts were funny though. Like the time I'd imagine Ingun or Maven's womanising son Sibbi having kids. It'd be like the Oblivion Crisis all over again.

So Ingun gave me a list...twenty deathbells...nightshade and nirnroot. Each. Twenty. Oh sweet Mara. A fetching quest! I just felt like a click in my head informed me of a new mission...or maybe it was the concussion talking. It was enough to keep my mind at ease.

Yes. Good. Right. So you're thinking...what's gonna happen next? Do you want to guess?

If you guessed Brynjolf standing in front of the gates outside of Riften, you would be correct! Twenty gold to you my friend!

You know what? I still never said thank you.


	7. Pairs

**Chapter 7**  
** Pairs**

I've had plenty of people in my life who just...make you scrunch your hands and scream up at the sky.

Brynjolf was just twenty of those people at once. I wanted to yell I wanted to just bash the crap out of him at the moment. But I couldn't. The man who stitched me. Why Talos...why?

I restrained myself rather well. The man made every attempt to look into my eyes without outright touching me or moving around. Impressive. Now quit bothering me.

But he wouldn't give.

"Oh blessed second-in-command, what brings out you out here on this fine Loredas day!" I spoke sarcastically. There was enough scorn in those words alone, but he still didn't budge.

Just look at him, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and stupid looking face. Give me a break!

"I want to talk about what happened earlier." He questioned.

I detected several signals in his words. It was like a mashed up mixture of concern, worry, anger and some other stupid emotions. Build a damn bridge you red-headed bastard. It did not concern you. While you fixed me up, I am fine now.

"I fell off my horse." I said bluntly. Not a lie. Just a quick story to get him to stop aggravating me, go back to his actual business and stop this pointless game.

But that look in his eyes meant he wasn't convinced. I was starting to hate this man more and more.

Funny thing though. Brynjolf was quick to judge. It reminded me that he was a thief. He was a quick steal. It took a thief to know the whole truth was stolen from my words.

Are you a thief friend? Don't do this. Avoid as many unnecessary conversations as possible and you can avoid this kind of crap.

I noticed him glaring. He wasn't happy with my answer. Obviously. His head tilted down. Woah, calm down.

"Petra. I know you. You aren't careless." He spoke coldly but that kind of conflicted with the concern. He was getting harder to read.

I sighed.

"Bryn. I am fine. But we are all careless at times. Mercer doesn't care. So what does it matter?"

Brynjolf lifted his chin. I'm trying to get his angle but he was being extremely difficult.

"The others might not care. You yourself might not care. I do."

I had this massive internal groan. Ugh.

"Don't know why you bother. Just your average little member. We never speak. We never engage in great conversation."

And low and behold he actually cracks a smile. But I think it was a bit more with venom that I anticipated.

"Because you refuse to talk to anybody lass. It's hard when you don't take the chance to try."

I rolled my eyes. His voice was so...how do I put, twinged with anger. Good. If I provoke him enough, maybe he'll leave me alone.

"Because I don't come down to the Flagon to have fun. I do what I have to then I'm gone."

Brynjolf sneered at me. Yes...this was a good sign.

The day Brynjolf recruited me I always had this notion he was trying to do something but didn't know what. A spark somewhere that everyone in the Guild, even Mercer, lacked. I have no idea what convinced to him to make me join.

I don't even know what it was that made me join. Did I mention that? Or was I making up excuses earlier?

"That's all well and good. I know talent when I see it. Don't waste that lass."

Haha..

Hahahahah I knew it! Mercer was right. I was his pet to be molded. Now he was trying to keep hold of his precious recruit and steer me where he saw fit. How typical.

"You guys use me. I'm under your employ. What I do out of job is of no ones concern. Not even yours."

Then Brynjolf spoke of something I would have never expected him to say.

"Very well. Come with me. We have work to do."

….

I still never said thanks.


	8. Seduction

**Chapter 8**  
** Seduction**

Two-person jobs were rare. I'd rather go solo myself but as Brynjolf was second-in-command I had no choice. Brynjolf you sly sonvabitch! He'd navigated himself into a scenario and snagged me into his little plan. I half imagined him in fire and brimstone, laughing manically, that it actually worked. Scary image. He was second-in-command after all. He would have to have earned that position at one point. I begrudgingly went along with what ever he told me to do. But I simply refused to talk about the incident.

We both went to meet with a contact in Windhelm. I've done a few jobs there. Miserable city of stone, snow and murder. But the silence was nice.

Brynjolf was kind enough to let me ignore everything around me. I was half-tempted to have a wander around, go to Candlehearth Hall and relax. I just wanted to get away from the man.

He restrained himself on the way there, being surprisingly quiet. He must have gotten the message well then. Because he never brought the topic up again.

Thank the Gods.

The job that was being requested was two fold. First, I was instructed to head over to the the stingy and depressing market quarter and start bothering the shit out of the guard while Brynjolf was busy doing what ever the Oblivion he needed to do. By bother, I mean seriously flirt with him. You know what? This was going to be fun.

I don't normally flirt but I was attractive enough. I did enough philandering around in Cyrodiil. Get your head out of the gutter! By the Gods. I just knew a lot of guys. Majority were obnoxious Imperial men eager to get their hands on a snow-skinned and muscled nord woman. Hah. No.

I slithered myself up close and worked my Dibellan charm. I felt so dirty but it was hilarious to act on. I was pulling a Brynjolf (my term for people putting their noses where they didn't belong) and made the man so uncomfortable.

I touched the mans muscley arm as my eyes were half-lidded and I was in full-seductive mode. I whispered naughty things in his ear. I couldn't see his face, obviously because he was wearing a helmet. But I could feel his goosebumps and felt the heat emanating from his cheeks. That was just an assumption but I knew it was happening. It always did.

I heard Brynjolf call my name. I kept in the act and slithered away from the Guard, who I swear to Dibella was just really confused. And judging from his pants, became really aroused. Okay, that was too far.

We both visited Candlehearth Hall afterwards after our successful job. It was nothing to write home about. But we both sat up there by the table in the left hand corner, sipping mead from a bottle and watching the flames from the hearth dance about. Even if you weren't sitting near it, it still made you feel warm somewhat.

I stared at it. And I continued to stare at. It brought back memories of Helgen. And the big black dragon. I fell back into Oblivion, eyes widened and I wasn't aware I was starting to shake that I almost dropped my mead, if it weren't...

"Lass."

I snapped back into reality and shook my head. I turned to Brynjolf. He'd been disturbingly observing me yet again. I looked away, annoyed. But I still bore the weight of his stare. I couldn't...sigh, I couldn't fool the man.

"Somethings bothering you. And if somethings bothering you, the Guild doesn't have your full concentration. And if you don't have full concentration..."

I swallowed hard and placed my mead on the table.

"I'm fine." I lied.

He didn't bother answering. He knew what I meant by that. It wasn't by the words I said but the tone I said it in. He picked up on this rather quicker than I expected. And it was scaring me. Was it really that obvious? I started to wonder what the man was thinking. He could be contemplating a thousand thoughts at once. All about me. I shuddered at that very concept.

He stood up, indicating it was time to head back to Riften.

We didn't take our horses. We ended up going to Shor's Stone by foot, since the client was there. It was, for once, a nice walk. Quiet...the way I liked it. Brynjolf's mouth was shut for once, thank Talos.

I never complained about the long walks. It gave me the absoluteness of the land and the lack of people concluded the total freedoms of the wilds. While the roads were normally protected, there was a spiritual feeling of the lack of boundaries that were faced.

I completely ignored Brynjolf and was sucked into my own internal thoughts. Though I might have taken a few glances at him, trying to figure out what he was thinking. Most likely multiple ways of getting me to talk. He wasn't going to get to me that easily.

I was trying to figure his reasons to care at all. I'm just your average nord girl, with her not so average phobia. I never dreamed it as such but sometimes it was enough to keep me up at night.

I pray to Talos, to you friend to not walk down the same path I do. You have your life ahead of you. You can do as you please. I am but an unrepentant thief wishing to go on the path to nowhere and end up nowhere. Ending up at a cross roads.

Why you ask do you want that? Life has a beginning and an end. Dragons don't. They'll always be there. The whispers that bounced about their return. I am stuck in the middle of it all. Somehow.

Dragons and me...I never understood how they fit together until that day at the Western Watchtower.

We both made it to Shor's Stone in one piece. Met up with the client, then made our way back to Riften. Still silent, still mute...but everything that was unspoken was still being said. The silence became deafening.

It took me a while to realise I'd been staring down the entire trip back to Riften. So many thoughts scrambling around. The burning stare of the red-headed bastard. It all boiled to what actions I took and what remained of me to hold on to. There was no way of shadowing the intent of my thoughts. Brynjolf was immune to my trickery and it was just so frustrating of the man. But then I realised.

He was a Nord.

Like me.

Stubborn.

It made a lot more sense. Recall what I said earlier friend? Yeah...you get it now. Stubbornness was just our way. He refused to quit because it was his nature. I was beginning to believe it was futile in my attempts to hide absolutely everything.

Because before you know it, the roar of a dragon echoed through the skies.

No one deserves a thanks here.


	9. The Dragon Returns I'm screwed

**Chapter 9**

**The Dragon Returns. I'm screwed.**

That bastard still lingered. No not Brynjolf. The damned Dragon that tried to kill me this morning!

Once again, I froze and started to shake violently. I could feel the sweat, the tight throat, the heavy breathing, the flush of heat start all over again. Seriously, twice in one day? You have to be kidding me...

A cold spike shot up my spine. I couldn't move. Brynjolf was busy looking around, then turned back to me and could see the utmost fear buried to deep into my watery eyes. My mouth gaped.

"Lass..." He spoke seriously. No that was not curiosity of poking around my head for answers. He was calling me from the cold void of fear.

"I...Bryn..." I gulped. I struggled to speak. I peered my eyes slowly to the Dragon making its way to us.

Brynjolf saw it as well. I noticed his facial expression changed dramatically.

"Shor's Bones a dragon!" He called out.

Nah skeever brain, it's a troll. What in Oblivion did he think this was? Damn it, still couldn't move. Where's Cody? He'd forced me to move. I was damned, cursed by this shitstain.

Brynjolf brought out his bow and started firing at it. I could have sworn he was yelling at me, but apparently by that time I'd fallen to the ground, and huddled into a fetal position.

"Shit!" I heard Brynjolf cry as I laid down below. The force of the dragon flying low overheard caused the ground to shake, almost tipping the man over.

"We've got to warn the city guard! We can...lass?"

Shit shit shit...I was crying, shaking with this cursed fear of mine. I hated it. What made it was was Brynjolf was here to see it. He couldn't believe it. Neither would I. But now wasn't the time to dwell on discoveries. He knew and I knew that we had to get out of there and go straight back to Riften.

Problem was, I was bottled up and still and unmovable like a giant stone. Brynjolf, go back to Riften by yourself you _selfish, annoying, red-headed bastard_. Go...I wanted to scream but my throat was constricted. My mind shattered and no longer controlled itself, nor did I have the strength or will to move my own body.

Fire, brimstone and dead red eyes continued to drill themselves into my memories. I felt like I was being dragged around though. I was moving but I didn't know how. My eyes were blurred and I was being whisked away. Fire..

Fire everywhere.

The roars continued. I saw several shots fired in the terrifying display of tenacity.

"Petra, I'm borrowing your arrows..."

Brynjolf, I am out of commission. How could you be so sane and level headed when **THERE WAS A DRAGON OUT THERE TRYING TO KILL US!**

But yeah, take my arrows...go ahead. Sure as Oblivion that I wasn't going to use them any time soon.

I heard numerous grunts and shouts amongst the chaos befalling. My eyes were failing me. I no longer comprehended on what was I even looking at any more. But more grunts joined in the most bizarre chorus I'd ever heard. I was hallucinating again. My vision returned briefly, I'd look out, I was behind a giant rock, with Brynjolf aiming his bow at the dragon, which was now, well, riddled with numerous arrows and was extremely pissed.

Good going idiot. Now we're gonna die for sure.

Then he just happened to run out of arrows.

This was the best day in my life.

Sarcasm friend, makes you feel better.

I sensed Bryn taking out his dagger and had attempted to go outright attempt to battle the Dragon on foot with a melee weapon.

Despite my current dilemma, supposedly locked into my phobia phase, I grabbed hold of Brynjolf and dragged him straight down to my level. He stared, surprised, into my deathly pale, tear riddled face as I shook my head with wild intensity. I'd prayed to Talos that no one would ever see me like this, pathetic and weak.

"_N-no._" I gasped out. Even in the stance of my great nightmare I could still string up a sense of stubborn behaviour that every explanation I could give would just be a way of excusing my actions.

Brynjolf blinked. Yeah he kinda didn't expect that brief moment of...what ever that was. I wasn't either.

"We'll both die sooner or later, right now I can only try!"

I gritted my teeth with fury. No...I refused him the fight and...

The kill...

I felt possessed at this stage, my mind curled up into the eye of the storm. The chaos was all around me and where we were was just a thin tendril of stability. I whacked Bynjolf to the ground with what force I had and glared at the Dragon, piercing my rage and sorrow through it's enraged, fire-filled eyes. My heart pumped harder than it ever did, I was drenched in sweat and my stomach was so twisted it could have just snapped under the sheer pressure of it all. I'd found Bryn's dagger in my hand. The Dragon knew me. Well obviously from before but from before that...

"_Dovahkiin..._"

Was I wrong?

I tried so hard to loosen my mouth, but then let slip a major '**FUS**', utterly stunning the beast, giving it enough pause for me to charge at it, still in the thrill of uncontrollable fury, to swing the dagger at the creature. I cried so damn hard and roared myself so hard that I continuously and violently stabbed it's head over and over, causing the dragon to cry out in pain that drove blades into my heart. Blood gushed everywhere like it was raining oblivion and I was unable to stop myself stabbing the damn thing until it was dead. I cried and wailed until the beast lay limp and motionless. It was over as a wave of relief came over me.

I had a feeling what was gonna happen next. I fell to the ground, and pushed myself back in great haste to the giant rock where Brynjolf had watched the entire event happen by himself, mouth gaped open. We watched the dragon burn up in flames. I bumped into Brynjolf and subconsciously clung on to his leg as I screamed. As the dragon continued to burn, glowing, coloured streams escaped from it's body, the energies coming to me as my body absorbed it all, leaving the dragon nothing but a decayed skeleton lying on the ground.

I waited until the energies finally dissipated before falling. My screaming was hitched as my throat had constricted itself again. I stopped dead once more and just had my eyes on the dragon skeleton. Just like the Western Watchtower dragon with the flames of the giant dragon of ebony.

Brynjolf looked down at me. He could see my hand twitching. He sat down next to me and grabbed it.

It was warm, hardly did much to stop me from shaking but..even I had to admit, it felt nice...no, no _no no_ **no** _**no**_!

I pulled my hand away and attempted to stand. This was so confusing. My heart hurt and my stomach ached so much that I pushed Brynjolf away and scrambled as far as I could manage and vomited. He had to be disgusted by that right? So he had to leave me alone?

Nope...he just grabbed hold of my hand again. No fright at all. I tried to resist but my body. I didn't know I...

The more I tried to get away, the harder Brynjolf made it for me to do so, holding me, wrapping his arms around me as tight as he could. I cried and was trying so hard that I eventually ran out of energy and completely collapsed in his arms. My crying delved down to soft sobbing and sniffles.

We sat against the rock itself, with Bryn holding me as close as he could. He had to adjust himself to cross his legs and got me to sit in his lap. I couldn't rebel for the life of me to prevent him from doing so. My head rested in the cradle of his neck, as he had one arm wrapped around my back and the other curling upwards towards the top of my head, rubbing it gently.

I didn't even have the capability to say thank you.


	10. Brynjolf

**AN: Thanks guys for the reviews. I'm glad some people are enjoying it. But I'm having fun writing it regardless! I've always liked Brynjolf myself. I'm probably like the rest of thousands of fangirls depressed by the fact you can't marry the man. But hey, that's what fanfics are for! And in honour of that, have this chapter here from the man's perspective. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 10**

**Brynjolf**

I first met the the lass one day in the plaza. I had to admit the Guild was in shambles and I was desperate to do anything I could to scrape the rare horde of coin our way in this run town city, filled with dishonesty, bankruptcy and corruption. And I was a part of that.

A lot of members left. I didn't blame them. We'd gone to complete crap. With rumours of Dragons and war, this was only going to get worse. Everyone who was left, did what they could just as I had. Vekel had threatened to pack up and leave, but depressed men and women still flocked to the Flagon to temporary ease their troubles and find their power at the bottom of a bottle.

I walked up to the plaza each day, doing the same junk of work and summary of complete lies and scandal. There was one job that needed to be done, but I wanted to also prove to Delvin that this supposed 'curse' was non-existent and we were in over our heads. It was to suss out the weak and the clever, the stupid from the those with talented hands.

I put up with it to give the Guild a trickle of coin with the absolutely most useless shite that my imagination could conjure. I really didn't have much else to work on. The Guild was the only way of life I'd ever known. I wasn't going to let it go down without a fight. But everyone else that was around me knew of me and my bullshit. It got harder every day to convince people. One day I would lose hope.

Then comes in this lass with barely a septim to her name stumbling through the front gates with a thin, dirty, bony face that'd seen it all. Her light brown hair tied into a messy pony tail and bags underneath her glassy light blue eyes. I'd never seen her before. An outsider. Which was just what we needed.

She wore little else than the torn yellow dress and a pitiful pair of boots. She was awfully small. Small people could get into tight spaces with ease. But it looked like she'd been to Oblivion and back. She also had worn a permanent scowl as if the world had pissed her off. What ever compelled me to give her a chance to earn her place. Her back story didn't matter. I weighed the pros and cons even before I even talked to her. What ever could help the Guild with what resources I could find and this just pops up right in front of me. Me who was just pretending to play shopkeeper and looking like a thousand septims.

I am a thief, aye. But I wasn't a monster. I'm not religious, coin was coin and Mercer wanted us to try every angle. His specific instruction was just see what I could do with a nobody. And that's what I exactly intended to do. Then again, if she didn't agree. It wasn't my place to force her. I wanted to at see, to try how events would unfold. She was just a stranger.

She came into the plaza while I was at my stand and I'd caught her eye. It'd been some kind of weird snap between us. Written in her light blue eyes was an unopened book that I instinctively wanted to read. Newcomers to our rotten town always had stories to tell. You don't normally come to Riften for honest reasons. That died out years ago. You only came to Riften if you're already corrupt, you were a wannabe corrupted, or you were an orphan. No reason was honourable enough. Or if you were just desperate.

She'd come here for a reason unknown. She could have had hundreds of places to run off to but to consider Riften her choice was not for me to judge. But for me to understand. To this day, I still don't know why myself.

"Running a little light in the pockets, lass?"

The girl was a combination of being stubborn and just looking to just sit in a corner and heal. It wasn't uncommon. No one like's being seen as weak. She'd held herself, arms crossed and pretended everything was okay. She was just like the Guild.

Gods' forgive me for taking advantage of the young one. I wanted to imagine myself as doing her a favour. I didn't even know her yet.

She'd turned to me and was...silent. For a moment.

"That is none of your business."

Were the first words I'd heard. That had been her one and only attitude that she'd had since the day I met her. I liked her already. A spike was what the Guild needed. A fresh face and someone stubborn as itself. I wanted to see if she could do as she was told first.

"Aye lass, but money is my business."

She turned away and headed off elsewhere. I didn't see her for the rest of the day.

When I came back up the next day to sell my usual bogus elixirs I'd look around town for her. I went to the Bee and the Barb. I was greeted by the usual occupants. The Argonians didn't like me loitering but I was just looking out for the lass.

Call me crazy for trying but when someone comes in town beaten like as she was, it was a cause for concern, because you know no one else in town was not gonna give two septims about it. When I couldn't find her here, I'd asked Keerava, the Argonian woman running the joint, if she'd seen a girl wandering around like she'd jumped into a pit of wolves.

Kind Keerava just screeched and pointed me into the direction of the Temple of Mara. Of course.

I'd suspected as much. She was homeless. But wasn't disabled as far I'd seen and though she was injured, it could be helped with a potion or two. I went to the Temple to see if she'd gotten stuck there.

I looked inside and asked the Dunmer Priestess if she'd seen a girl. Lass didn't like me either and just outright said no. Fair enough. I wasn't going to argue.

I'd exited the temple, left wondering where else she'd gone. It was amusing how much trouble I'd been going through to find her. If it was anyone else they'd just given up. Simply because they'd didn't have time to follow a lost cause and that there'd also be a chance someone else would wander blindly through those gates. But then you'd have those types of people who'd either want to get up to mischief or the opposite like Mjoll and attempt to 'save' Riften and fail miserably. You have to either be incredibly clever and resourceful like Maven or just lucky in order to get some kind of recognition or respect. To me I wanted to see what I could do if just persisted enough because I'd been playing the same game for days and this was something new to work around.

To my own luck, I'd wandered around to the side, to see her leaning against the base of the Shrine of Talos, her arms wrapped around her legs, looking down at her feet.

She was capable of hiding. A bonus. I liked that.

She had been hiding in more ways than one. She may keep her mouth shut up about it as the way she held herself made it obvious.

We're not known for being an awfully cheery bunch of louts. We're just lowabouts that were falling on hard times and were trying to keep up the front of a quickly decaying group. I'd did my darnedest to keep things together.

I wasn't going to intimidate her. She'd run away again. I'd have to meet her on equal footing. So I sat down next to her. I didn't look at her. She'd run away from that too.

"I thought I already told you no." The lass said coldly.

The job I needed to do, I couldn't promise to be easy. She'd have one go at this. I could either save her or I couldn't. That's what it'd boil to. She'd walked into those gates like that. I like those who could survive. What I didn't like was those left forgotten and had the potential to heal. She could heal. I could tell. Her front was just the bandage to what plane Oblivion she'd just come from. The effect' been easy to see. But I personally believed the Guild would help her. If not, help us all.

All we had to do was break past that barrier. Then get sorted.

I'd explained to her about our organisation did and what it took to have guts. That if she could do this one job for me that we could give her food and shelter. And all she would have to do was be wise, smart and take orders. I ushered it to her in simple terms that sounded appealing.

She was taking it in slowly. I watched her contemplate my words. I wanted it be tempting on all accounts of turning what she was doing into a positive characteristic.

"You like to hide? I know. But, you could use that to your advantage."

"I don't want to hide." She said out bluntly.

"Could have fooled me." I joked.

She groaned and stood up and turned to look at the Talos statue, trying to ignore me but really, she was taking consideration for this and I took that as a good sign.

"You're not saying this out of pity are you?" She questioned with such the bored monotone in her voice.

Brutal honesty helps out too.

"You think this city is going to feed you that? You're wrong. You can't find pity. Nor can you sell, use it or even eat it. I'm giving you the choice lass, a choice for your freedom to claim what you want, when you want it. That you can make so much coin that you can afford to stand around and do nothing. No one cares about your past. Nor your future. You came to hide? No one else will bother to find you."

I had to be honest of course. It was a boon to tell the truth in all it's awful, atrocious glory. It wasn't perfect but it ran the way it should. It was just the breadth of daily life here.

"Good."

My stomach fell. Strangely. The girl continued to stare at the statue. She had the confidence definitely and the bite to support it. No one with such bite since Vex and Sapphire. The girl was actively trying to avoid people altogether but she'd taken herself to living in the safety of the walls of the city.

What I came to realise that she was hiding from what ever was outside these walls. That she feared being found. I stood up, not staring at her. Somehow I had to make that the run down Ratway was a lot more appealing than lying around in the dirt feeling sorry for yourself.

"If you do this, I can get you somewhere to stay. A place to call your own. Sure you'd have to do work once in a while but that work involves a bit of risk but your main goal is not to be seen. We'll never ask you to kill anyone. Just their hearts. Just kidding, but it's just taking people down a peg or two."

I'd sworn to have to seen the side of her mouth rise into a minor smile. This was a snag.

She had her disdain and her reluctant spirit to consider talking to people. It was a start.

"What do you want me to do?"

* * *

I'd been surprised that the plan went off without a hitch. When I made the distraction in the plaza with my bogus Falmer Elixir, acting through, that in the corner of my eye, I could see her sneaking about as I had told her and no one was the wiser. The guard was tipped off about Brand-Shei's apparent thievery, and they'd never even suspected her, then they went for that obnoxious dumner and with that, the job was done. I relayed that pleasure to her and reminded her if she wanted more where that came from that to traverse her way down to the Flagon via the Ratway. I'd warned her about the dangers that came from wandering the Flagon. She'd said she'd be fine.

I was inclined to believe her. I had doubts but truly she'd just proven that she could handle the dirt work without a problem.

That was an entertaining moment, giving birth to new developments. It brought change to the guild, what had been needed for years. The others were suspending their hopes in what could this little girl do for the Guild. Vekel knew the place was a mess as it was. He wasn't lying but I remained steadfast in my personal beliefs and retained a positive outlook.

Time passed by as I waited at the Flagon. The others taunted me and called me a fool for getting them riled up over nothing over the new blood. I'd sat at the Flagon, sipping my mead and waited.

My ears twitched when I heard a door squeak nearby. I smirked. This had to be here. Foot steps came closer and closer as I Vekel continued with his brash negativity.

"Forget it Brynjolf, your people are a dying breed!"

I loved proving others wrong when footsteps became louder.

"Then what do you call that?"

She'd stood there staring at me and awaited for me to speak. I looked at the dagger, that she ever so tightly grasped in her hand and that was covered in blood. I didn't tell her that she needed to kill. But I was more pleased she dealt with more layabouts. And that I could see that she could defend herself when worst comes to worst and that she wasn't scared off by all the real danger. I'd decided to get to know her a bit better. Just placing myself on her level again.

"Apologies for not introducing myself earlier. I'm Brynjolf."

She'd blinked twice. No smile. Face still dead.

"Petra."

I nodded. It make have looked like she was out for more blood, but she'd had more sense in grabbing her tattered dress and wiping the blood off the dagger, sheathing it.

"What's next?" She asked me. Eager without the tone for it.

We'd had another discussion about another test. She wasn't complaining. I'd told her to take care of some deadbeats for me. This time she didn't say no. But I yet again had to remind her that she didn't need to kill. I'd made another quick glance at her dagger.

"No deaths."

Her face was stone cold and still and emotionless. I was worried she would have gone too far. I didn't know her at all still and I could have just made a terrible mistake that could have just cost the Guild the last of it's sponsorships...

But no...she'd erased all doubts when she came back later with bags of coin. No story, no chatter. All the money was there.

So not only now did we have a capable creature on our hands but a fiesty one as well. It'd taken her some time to get adjusted. Especially when I introduced her to Mercer. I'd escorted her through the secret entrance to the cistern, the inner sanctum of our rabble.

"Mercer this was the one I was talking about." I told him.

"This better be not another waste of the Guild's Resources Brynjolf."

What got me was that once the two had gotten to see each others face, was that her very presence altered the variables. I'd seen Mercer face a future of uncertainty and someone who made him question everything. She'd managed to creep him out with her back straight and her cold dead eyes spearing into him. Mercer's true wealth was confidence and the way he relayed that back to everyone. The lass's very existence made him shift uncomfortably. I'd knew he'd smack down the law to her like he had to everyone else. But it's as if there was a sudden shift in the wind.

But even after all his ranting, which was just the necessary part of the package I had to remind the man.

"Oh since Brynjolf reckons you'll be nothing but a benefit to us, welcome to the Thieves Guild."

It took some coercion when Mercer suggested that Petra should do the Goldenglow Job to let the girl take some time to get ready. He didn't take it lightly. I'd gotten him what he wanted.

While the lass had the knack for taking care of people without their demise and the proprietary for trickery, she'd need to be properly trained to seriously inflict damage out there. I'd shown her that she can practice as much as she'd likes and that as soon as she was ready, she could take on her first set of series of jobs.

She'd gone to Tonilia straight away to get her some gear. No snark, no talk. Her way with words were strictly business only. She reminded me of Maven. But the air of mystery surrounded her, that perplexed Tonilia.

"What made you think she was the one Bryn?" The Redguard queried. No doubt that was also the question on everyone else's minds.

I crossed my arms and smiled.

"She'll listen. And she's willing to learn to have what it takes to be a real thief." I said with pride. I was going to make sure this was worthwhile

* * *

And she looked great in her armour. Her hair looked a lot better, more neatly tied up. Her face was cleaner to see that crisp pale face of hers. It'd take her some better food to eat to get rid of the bonyness but she just appeared a lot better and to my own opinion, suited to the armour than anyone else. It shot out her intimidating appeal greater than expected.

The girl should have been far from capable to the naked eye. But I observe and judge by the way they are. As people and as the individual. Petra was a tough nut to crack that was for sure. It was a challenge I was willing to accept. Because the hardest ones usually turn out to be the best investments.

Most would have seen her having difficulty with the simplest task because she was just skin and bone when I'd found her. She came out well and I was impressed with her tenacity, her skill and willingness to do the dirty work and listen well. When she wanted to.

Delvin came to like her. He'd offered her a job to what ever dreaded corner of Skyrim, with absolutely no complaints. Delvin pointed out she had backbone to which I agreed to.

While the Guild had been falling apart, I was more interested in seeing the developments, that she was assisting with, were gonna take us. And the luck of Petra put more interest back into the Guild if anything else. The other's failed to see it, but me...as well as Delvin, Vex, even Tonilia came to see that she was in fact bringing in a lot more coin that they'd seen within the last few years.

Yet while she was the avatar of the guild, skilled and a near master of thievery with every coming day, she never talked about anything other than business. The others played practical jokes on her without knowing the hidden respect the best of us had for her.

It was tradition. All new bloods copped it within their first week. At first it made sense since we had more people leaving than joining and it was hard to take fun when you're falling so hard down the scales and you and your people are just broke. It'd been more harsh than what it seemed. If anyone one wanted to make this place more appealing they'd at first would have to know where to draw the damn line.

Petra took it in her stride. By Shor she was tough. Mostly jokes about leaving stuff for her to trip over or putting a fish in her bed. She covered herself so well that I couldn't see if she was getting angrier over time or...

It's just a phase. It always was. Merriment is hard to come by, especially during these dark times.

I forgot to mention also that more than once I've walked by her more than once while she was sleeping. Her bed was conveniently one of the closest to the door to the Flagon so each time she was just in the corner of my eye as I walked around the cistern. She eventually had a board put up a the end of it for a bit of privacy but other than that, she was in an area by herself.

Each time was different. She'd face inwards, away, often curled into a little tiny ball and arms wrapped around her legs like the day I recruited her. I feel like a weird stalker when I say that was her common way of sleeping and the position she was in a lot of the time. But there were times where I could hear her crying.

Dreams are often funny things. They drip on in unwarranted. My dreams are pretty average by far. Like the lass, I take a lot into my stride but at least I'm not hiding anything. I can be business but I can also just sit back and relax when I can. Be the fun lad. No problem.

And that was also the issue of everyone else here. And she picked up the slack where everyone else just either gave up, or were too drunk to take any proper work. Don't get me wrong, some of these people I have worked with in the past and they are talented in their fields, picked from all trees of life. She'd just did more jobs.

No one asked questions, instead people just told their answers and stories over a tankard and often forgot about them the next day. The average night spent in the flagon consisted of the usual larking and boasts...Vex and Delvin talking about failed jobs, Vekel and Tonilia and their lover quarrels.

Petra didn't spruce up the place. No, she's definitely not the partying sort. But it made for a change of conversation.

If she wasn't sitting on her bed reading her book, she often sat in her lonesome in the corner of the Flagon...drinking or just reading there as well. No one dared to bother her once she'd found her little cradle in the guild. The conversations became mere murmurs out of fear since she was in earshot of their little talks. All because of the nerve Vipir struck, forcing her to snap out at him.

That shocked everyone. The little quiet girl decided enough was enough. I'd watched the whole thing unfold. I'm not one to say if the lad deserved it or not, but this was where the line was definitely drawn to her. It'd gone over the limit of teasing the new bloods and she'd lasted longer than expected. Vipir just crossed the threshold. It was then I told him to stop.

That's what struck the hidden but shameful fear of the lass. She became, annoyed by me which I couldn't understand. I'd just helped her out. I believe now that she was in fact insulted that a superior had ordered someone to stop for her, instead of facing her fellow member on equal grounds and eager to prove herself and not to be a push over.

I'd ruined it for her, ruined her plan to make sure no one messed with her. Instead, I became her guardian and the notch for father like taunts. It hadn't been my intention at all. My only intention was to teach and guide the lass to reveal in her talents and put them to good use.

Still, despite that, I think she'd still managed to prove her point. That perhaps at this stage she'd become developed enough to perhaps take on Goldenglow after all.

Then it came to a head after she'd came back to Riften from her job in Markarth. I was, by sheer coincidence, just at the Riften stables, conversing with a client, when I'd seen her horse, Cody, arrive back by itself.

I actually think the others were quite jealous that Petra even managed to make enough coin to afford a horse. She never spent too much on drink at the Flagon, so she had common sense to save her money on something that didn't back chat her.

She adored that horse. I put the thought in her mind that normally horses are good companions. I was glad she took the suggestion to heart and had asked Tonilia if she'd bartered in them. That was a good laugh, according to what the Redguard told me. Lucky Tonilia had a respectable heart to the lass (since they got along the best in my opinion. Even if Petra never talked to many people, I could tell Tonilia was her favourite by far out of anyone. And I already knew of her thoughts on me)

So the lass bought her ride and that was that. Took it everywhere. I'd imagine she'd managed to spill secrets to it. I mean, a horse can't tell tales now can it? Funny if it did.

Some days I'd find her leaving the cistern to go to the surface, most likely to either hang with Cody or go for a ride with it. I witnessed it one day, and managed to actually catch another smile from her. Cody made her happy, gave me a warm feeling that she was going to be okay after all.

Tonilia often told me in the small chats she had with Petra was that she talked about Cody a lot. So now the only way of making her speak now included horses. Tonilia was the first to break the first barrier to the young girl, wanting to force her to open herself. How that the horse was smart as a whip, she'd confided in it and how it was exceedingly loyal.

By this time my skills to appeal to the girls heart had increased. In fact, Vex, Delvin, Tonilia and me had once discussed this. Petra made for perfect talk and business in our little circle because it was all we had to talk about. Because our business was beginning to boom again and that we'd...we'd have to thank her for it.

When that horse came back on it's own, I could speak for the us all that we were all afraid of losing her.

And we'd never said thanks.


	11. Lost

**Chapter 11**  
** LOST**

That day changed her. Changed all of us, more than we'd like to admit.

Where had she been? What she had done? Who had done this to her? The lass was always the topic of the cistern. Mercer couldn't care less but that's just Mercer.

Petra often gave the impression that she didn't want to be seen as special. She wanted to be treated normally as her peers. She'd cast aside anything she had bottled inside of her and once she had been healed, retreated herself to the surface and spoke to no one, probably not even the horse since she believed that it had failed her.

Although maybe me stitching her up was plausibly not something I should have done myself. Mentally finding that out would make it seem she was completely dependent on me. I've had experience in stitching people up. Wasn't hard. We really didn't have anyone besides the face sculptor but even then...

Sheltering herself away which was just typical of the lass.

I'd gotten wind of a potential job in Windhelm that required two people. Fair enough. Vex suggested I take Petra of course to get her to spill. I could try but I refused to do anything to make things worse or force her to shut herself away completely. Shor knows that I could say anything to tick her off.

So we went to Windhelm in complete silence and by foot. I'd already seen her with her horse. I wanted to see her forced to stick with someone she detested and how she could handle. Oh aye, I knew she hated me. But she knew how to follow orders which was the only thing that mattered to the guild..and to me. The factor that she may not like her horse any more was one matter but I then had my doubts about the possibility. I was taking all theories and placing them aside for this one job that I'll know she'll excel in.

Job went fine. I did what I had to do and that was that. I'd caught a glimpse of Petra acting out the part of a seductress which was particularly amusing. That woman could act better than I could. Being beautiful was part of the charm and brought loads of luck for a thief, to lull away and distract others from suspecting anything. By Shor did she ever. I knew it wasn't her but she was doing well. I could see why she was often successful. She had the ability to put the 'spell' on people and bring them in just as much as she'd like to push them away. The irony was not lost on me.

We'd been to Candlehearth Hall to relax for the moment. I watched as she briefly fell into a trance as she glimpsed at the fire before us. The look in her eyes...she was seeing something in those flames that lured in her in, focused into what trail of thought had roped her in. I was losing her as I could see her eyes darting from to side, a sign of being lost and scared.

I called her out of her little daydream just as she started to shake. She snapped back and then snapped at me.

She still can find her self focused, but often too focused.

We began to hike to Riften and went via Shor's Stone to speak with the client. That when very well, we then continued our walk through the pathways of the Rift and it's amber-leaved trees, until the Dragon came by...

The incident...I could never bury it away. It made sense. It brought volumes of information. Her distinct and unforgettable break down. The display broke my heart. The poor lass was absolutely terrified.

At first I thought that any one could fear a dragon. Things were just coming back and no one knew how to deal with them. Only upon the rumours of a Dragonborn being found could we have any due hope of being saved.

For someone so quiet, her cries were chilling to the bone and had pierced through my ears. I tried to defend her, even knowing I had no chance with the beast. I'd dragged her behind this rock. I fired numerous arrows at it, but it had no avail. I was going to bring out my dagger until...

She'd just suddenly got up, stole my dagger and absolutely decimated the creature. I observed in awe as she shouted at it, a strange mystical power forcing the creature back as she leaped at it and with a murderous vengeance, struck it's skull dozens of times, until it was dead.

I was still in shock, but kudos to the girls brief moment of bravery. But something was happening...

She'd began crawling back towards me when the dragon caught fire and burnt down to a hollowed bones. But there was a strange magic that strung it's way towards Petra, as she'd taken it's very soul.

It was then, I realised who the lass was.

The Dragonborn...

Thank the Gods


	12. Found

**CHAPTER 12 **  
**FOUND**

I took her into my arms. Even with her being all hysterical, the lass still struggled against me. She was thrashing but I just wanted her to calm down and with out words tried to comfort, to let her know that the beast was gone and dead and it wasn't going to hurt her, or anyone, any more.

I'd wager I'd hurt her pride doing so. My probable suicidal attempt to destroy the beast drove her to make sure that she'd be the one to do it. She knew her destiny and wasn't going to let anyone else get lost in it.

But I've finally found her. Found Petra and her secret.

I've heard of the stories of the Dragonborn and their power to permanently kill dragons. Petra knew and I had a feeling she was purposefully trying to avoid her obligation. I couldn't understand her position but I could feel her fear. To be caught in something that was never her choice and to put placed in this position could have never been her intention.

All the focus made sense. She was trying to lose herself in the work. And her eagerness signalled to price of taking one's real responsibility. While being a talented thief, the Gods had not placed her here for that reason. She was here because she was destined to. To save us all. But first, I had to save her from herself.

I held her in my lap. Her tensed self ceased over given time as we sat there against the rock, in each other's warmth and comfort. It wasn't a negative experience but it was credibly awkward for both of us, I'd gathered. She lacked the strength to carry herself so I was willing to carry her if necessary.

Her head was against my chest, then I'd let her listen to my heartbeat. I was calm so I'd wanted to let her know in a strange way that it was going to be fine and that the both of us were alive. I could hear her breath slowing down from her whimpers earlier. We could be here as long as she needed to be.

She placed her hand on my chest and stroked it, then grabbed one of the straps on my armour and pushed me down by surprise. She pressed her hands against me while I lay on the ground and drilled her eyes into me. I didn't fight back. I only wanted to see what she wanted to do as she leaned over me, with her knees on each side of my legs.

I believed she had the purpose in her mind of punching me in the face. Her hands scrunched up however, as she bit her lip to try and stop herself from crying as her eyes began to water. Her cheeks were already red from her crying before.

She'd still was being being incredibly stubborn. Her actions wanted to say that she hated me but she was just so emotionally drained that she just collapsed on top of me. I instead looked at the sky, with the sun setting in the west, shadowing the Throat of the World in it's wake.

Petra was looking at it too. It reminded me of the time something shouted so loud that it reverberated all around Skyrim., sending shock waves across the province.

The Greybeards must have called her.

I placed one arm on her back for simple comfort and reassurance. I wanted to teach her that it was okay.

"How...how could they want me to deal with this?" She croaked. Her arms laid limp on both sides of us, as she rested her head on my chest again, the voice in her throat vibrated against it.

"There must be a reason lass." I told her.

I wanted to find the words to explain that what she had just did was incredible in itself. That her powerful reluctance was going to hold her back. Again, I couldn't force her to do what she didn't want to. It was up to her to make the right choice. I was only there to help.

I listened to her take a deep breath. Good. Keep doing that. Relax.

Somehow I felt her bleed. Not in a physical sense, but in the emotional sense. I could say spiritual but I have no idea how that works. That what ever she'd held back before was suddenly spreading everywhere. A release. Okay that sounded more disgusting than it should have. I'm not entirely sure what the best description for it was but whether or not she was beginning to open herself is probably part of it.

"Bryn?" She whispered.

"Mmm?" I replied brazenly and tiredly. I just let her talk it out for now then to see how we go. And for some reason I must have not realised I'd been subconsciously rubbing her back. Comfort nonsense I picked up. I'm not normally the type to do that but I'll make an exception. I'd been making that exception for a while now.

"Can I do the Goldenglow Job now?"

What, no thanks? Just kidding. But I know she wasn't joking about that.


	13. Goldenglow

**I'm glad every one is liking Brynjolf so far. Anyway, this chapter is mostly the Goldenglow Quest and is usually how I do it in my playthroughs. You can skip this if you think it's pretty generic but it's mostly Petra's thoughts through out the quest but I made it more interesting. I hope.  
Enjoy!  
**

* * *

**Chapter 13  
Goldenglow.**

I felt ashamed to have let Brynjolf know my secret. But he never judged me for it. He claimed there was a reason but didn't say anything of his own opinion. He had been listening to me, but I could tell he was just trying tip toe around the issue into eventually getting me to talk. One day, but I still didn't know.

We'd gone back to Riften in silence, each other knowing what had just unfolded. He spoke with the others, talked about the mission and that was it. No talking of dragons or my completely embarrassing display of my phobia. The worst part is that it naturally comes and I can't help it. But surprisingly he just didn't make note or even hint at it. I was trying to consider what man Brynjolf was.

But after that I was more willing to go on a more dangerous job like Goldenglow to get things off my mind and to get back into the zone where I belonged. Where I truly belonged. Killing a dragon, while hectic and sickening, got me into the throes of great motivation and I was glad. I spoke with Bryn about the job. I was glad he wasn't bringing anything up about what happened and was just speaking business. I became relaxed. Even if I didn't show it. The sooner this had got sorted, the better. Since it just got everything else off my mind.

I'd prepped myself for the job as it I knew for sure it was going to be harder than any of the other jobs I'd taken so far. I'd enjoy the challenge like it was just another test. I was going to press my success so far in front in Mercer's face that it was gonna stain. Got my gear proper, potions and the like, to ensure I'd actually survive any encounters. I can fight no doubt, but it never hurts to be prepared. There had been this image in my mind that this was the beginning of something new and a new outlook on my thieving career. I'd might not spend the bulk of my time in the dreary cistern any more and instead I'd have my hands placed in greater circles.

Vex had some advice for me as well. Told me about a sewer entrance. Easy enough. Unguarded too which was of a great benefit. You'd think with the Ratway being a sewer in itself that you'd guard something that was practically on home ground. People were so stupid. She'd had trouble previously with the mercenaries. There'd been too many for her to handle alone. Fair enough. I'd have to thank Vex for giving my mind an edge to curve around the prospective people who were going to out of blood. Any blood. My blood.

The Goldenglow Job required me to get some documentations and burn three hives in retaliation for closing off the bee farm and therefore, pissing Maven Black-Briar off. The wood elf in charge, Aringoth, was definitely going to get the full brunt of it. He'd embattled himself well too with a bunch of mercenaries Vex mentioned to guard it. Smart move, to anticipate the inevitable backlash from one of the most powerful women in Skyrim.

I'd left the Flagon with confidence, with Brynjolf saying just one thing.

"All eyes are on you lass, don't disappoint us."

As if I would. He should have known me better by now. It was a warning that putting me on this job alone was making me the well-known representative of the Guild and to make a show for it...obviously with stealthy skills, but I was going to be fine.

The estate was settled on a cluster of islands, isolated from the rest of the world, even if it wasn't that far from Riften. It was dark with the torchbugs flying about in their glow.

I wasn't a fan of getting wet but I've had worse happen. I got to the sewer, and jumped inside. It was rather small and lengthy with several skeevers which I took care of quickly with my trusty bow. I forgot to mention my bow had been upgraded to a Dwemer Bow. I'd found one at the Prawny Prawn. The merchant there was still tense over our uh...past confrontation. I'd assured him that was just for business purposes and made it very clear I was just here to shop. I was going to make him money for Talos sake!

Beyond that, I was always fascinated in the assorted types of bow and the attributes that they gave. Perfect for stealth. My favourite was the paralysis enchantment but sadly this only had the ice like effect. Still slowed enemies down but I took what I could get.

I'd reappeared outside and in front of the Manor. I looked around. No guards so far which was good, so then I'd headed on inside and snuck around like a ghost...unseen and unheard.

I encountered little, though the manor was completely and deathly silent. Eerie. Even if there were mercs inside and though I loved the quiet, it was just strange. Perhaps they'd been expecting anyone to come in at any moment. The whole situation had an odd, a not quite right scent to it. I'd gone upstairs and found Aringoths bedroom. There were a few things of interest here. A bee statue, a bee in a jar...Aringoth. He looked more like an Altmer than a Bosmer. But he just looked old and tired, stuck in a game he never wanted to be a part of so it seemed. I hadn't been in the Guild enough to know the entire story, all I could know was he was part of an operation between himself and Maven. What could have possibly pushed him this far to consider blocking her out. He must have known what the consequences were going to be. Or he wouldn't have had mercs everywhere.

He was stuck on the side of a shelf, sitting down with his head down. I was certain he knew I was here but I remained vigilant as I pick pocketed his keys, took the Queen bee statue and the bee in the jar (I was certain they'd had some value. The Queen Bee Statue I mean) and hurried my way downwards into the basement.

I'd run into an obstacle. While in the darkened crevices of this empty premise I saw a merc sitting down, in my way to where I had to be. And in full light too. I was good at stealth yes, but you'd be stupid to crawl past someone in plain sight. I had to distract him somehow.

I pulled out my bow and aimed for the wall nearby, hoping to make enough noise for the man to investigate It made a minor clank noise and that was enough. Supposedly, I'd made a quick, quiet run for it and no one was the wiser.

I managed to make it to the safe in one place, picked the lock open and made off with the documents. Now that was done, I was on to the next step. I made my way out of the building and found myself into the more open area of the island.

It was still dark which was my perfect shroud. I'd wormed my way around the mercs, trying not to alert them as I scurried along. I'd rushed past the footbridge to get to the apiaries, and found myself out of luck...I had nothing to burn the hives with. Although, I'd also found myself in luck in terms of, well, just realising something had happened.

Let's start with reminding you that I'm also on a mission for Vex to find the Stones of Barenziah. I'd found one in Yngvild whilst I was doing a little job for Vekel. I became fascinated it and wondered what it was for. Vex pointed out what it was and told me there were 24 in all. But she wouldn't take just the one. She wanted the whole set!

That was going to be challenge I was more than willing to take on by this stage. I'd do my research into places where the stones could possibly be. I had already found a few, one in Whiterun and another at Pinewatch Sanctuary in Falkreath. I knew they'd just be scattered in Skyrim for what ever convenient reason.

Anyway, I'd tracked one down in a place called Sunderstone Gorge. Tricky little place that was filled with idiotic warlocks but I pulled through okay. Traps and stuff everywhere but I was clever enough to see through what ever was thrown at me and what ever attacked me, I just simply put down.

At the end I'd battled off a Flame Atronach, a creature of nightmares that embedded fear into my heart. I wasn't going to be defeated by this slick demon of fire. I'd made work of it carefully, even if everything just went aflame. I was fine of course, never mentioned the incident to anyone but you my friend so congratulations on being the first to hear it!

I'm not done, but despite the fears of the flame, I went up the stairs and found a pile of dead bodies on a table, in front of an unusual wall, like the one I had found at Bleak Falls Barrow. I'd only realised and connected the dots that it had been part of my journey as Dragonborn. The voices chanted to me and became louder as they got closer. I blinked as I felt energies enter me. I wanted to cower but I'd been reaped into this, word on this wall and knew a word of power. I couldn't understand the word itself, something along the lines of _Yol_ or what ever it meant.

So I wasn't sure of the word itself nor could I use it. It wasn't total loss I suppose. I'd left without too much of a worry and went about my usual business.

Back to Goldenglow, I stared at the beehives, suddenly knowing the meaning of _Yol_. I didn't know if it was a prompt to suddenly understand _Yol_ out of the blue. Bizarre as it was, but in my psyche it came to be understood as the dragon word for fire.

Irony was drowning me. The very word that the dragons used against me, the very thing I feared the most was in my grasp and I could use this as a weapon. A part of me wanted to believe that I could do this after all but I was compelled by my phobia not to use it. I honestly wanted to get over that if this Dragonborn nonsense was true. A destiny unwanted for sure.

I summoned what courage I could and hoped to Talos I was doing the right thing.

"Yol!"

I made sure the shout encompassed three of the hives. Or else I would have had my ass kicked if I burnt the bunch of them.

But it was incredible. I created flames with my own voice. Perhaps this was what the Gods were trying to tell me.

But how could I get over my phobia?

I'd left the estate and quickened my pace back to the Guild with news of my success. Plus I wanted to let Brynjolf know what I did. I know after the last dragon that I could...trust him with what was going on. He knew more than anyone else did, though you know more than him, friend. Bryn didn't have the answers and while I love Cody, I couldn't bare face him with all my previous failures. I would make it up to my horse one day as silly as it sounded. But still...

For once I thanked the Gods for this gift.


	14. Investigate

**Slightly shippy chap this one. Or a lot. What ever your take on how much a ship could ship? Haha. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 14 **  
**Investigate**

I faced Brynjolf with the news. We spoke casually about what transpired, but in front of the cistern I couldn't tell him the whole story. He was genuinely impressed which was a bonus. He must have known there was more to it than what description of the events I gave to him. That was fine. I would have wanted to speak to him about it more in private if I had to.

But then he mentioned after we discussed the situation further, that Maven Black-Briar wanted to speak with me. My stomach twisted. Don't tell me I screwed something up.

But Brynjolf being Brynjolf, he assured me that I wasn't in trouble. He wasn't sure what it was about, all that it was to do with being a potential job and that any job for her often involved a lot of coin, provided you didn't screw her about or screw up in general.

I'd learned that Maven, while being one of the richest bitches this side of Tamriel and one of the greatest schemers, took care of her own. If you were useful to her then she'd reward you greatly. If you dared to cross her or mess things up severely, expect to have your ass handed to you. It was more like the deal with a Daedric Prince but worse.

I realised I wouldn't have time to speak with Bryn about what really happened. So I'd went to the Bee and Barb to speak with the Black-Briar's infamous Matriarch.

I'd met the woman, sitting upstairs by herself. She held the air of superiority around her and she knew it. I watched my steps and was careful about what I said to her. But then again, if she was all about business...

And she actually, for a lesser word, appreciated I had more business sense than most of the members or whom ever else she'd spoken to previously. She mocked being worried that we were 'running some sort of beggars guild'. She'd been aware of the problems the guild had been facing. But whether or not she was showing it, she had been impressed with my work with Goldenglow where all others had failed and decided to speak to me directly, obviously to get use out of my handywork to get the job done and get it done correctly. She only cared for cause and effect.

Fair enough. I wasn't going to argue. She spoke about my next goal into going to Honningbrew Meadery in Whiterun and gave me the details. Sounded more fun than Goldenglow and a bit more mischeivious than one would perceive initially. I took the job up proudly. She warned me about screwing up which I told her with confidence that I wasn't going to.

I took time to go back to the Guild and to arrange my trip back to Whiterun. I was eager to start, but at this stage I had to ensure that I was up to the task. It was still dark and I would want to at least get to Whiterun by early afternoon. I'd given Delvin the Queen Bee Statue which he bought at a fair price which involved quite a nice amount of gold...and I placed the Bee in a Jar on the drawers next to my bed.

But before I could do so, I was interrupted by Brynjolf. He'd surprisingly made time for me to talk to him. I wanted to get to Whiterun as soon as I could but he wanted to make sure that I was still okay. Kind of him, really, but...

We went into the training room which was empty, but we had some private space to talk about what really happened at Goldenglow. I took my seat in the corner of the room to where he sat down next to me and waited for me to spill.

"So...anything you want to tell me?" He asked. I wasn't staring at him, I honestly couldn't look at him directly in the eye so...but he had his head leaned in, as I could see at the corner of my eye.

I took a deep breath. These small conversations weren't the worst thing, but Bryn would have insisted otherwise, taking me under his wing but mostly indulging in a type of...something that would probably never ever happen. Again. I don't know. It was all too awkward and perplexing to figure out the whole meaning of it. To what this was between us. I'll leave it to time to decide.

"The story I told you was an honest one. Except the part with the beehives." I told him.

He nodded.

"The beehives eh? I'd wouldn't have expected you to have much issue."

Of course. How hard could it be to incinerate the little honey makers?

I grinned.

"Well since that perhaps I actually needed something to burn with. Holding a torch while sprinting and rolling around in the darkness would have alerted everyone to my position, so that was out of the question."

He nodded. Some days you just need to be impressed by common sense. Just because you might have a part that would work, it didn't mean that it was going to complete the picture.

"So what did you end up using?" He queried.

This was the hard part to explain in simple terms. But I did the best I could.

"I...shouted at them." I answered. It sounded so stupid as I watched Bryn's eyebrows dive upwards

"Shout? Like...the dragons shout?" He iterated. He wasn't as boneheaded as I thought.

I nodded.

"I know, I know...it's."

I had my hands wrapped around my legs yet again and I tapped my elbow with my finger repeatedly and quickly as it became stressful to talk about.

"The Dragons shout fire. I'd used the shout to summon fire to life." I explained. I was a mere mortal trying to explain to explain dragon magic, the power of time-stream flyers.

"I came to understand the word as I'd forgotten to look for a way to set the hives alight in my rush to get the job done."

"What does that tell you?" He asked me. I was expecting a reaction to my short-sightedness but he remained inquisitive. Though I wasn't sure how to respond. I had several answers in my head but whether or not any of them were correct, was a different story altogether.

"I'm definitely Dragonborn?" I replied weakly.

Bryn smiled. He took it as a joke answer and knew I was reluctant to believe.

"Do you know what you're going to do about it?"

I'd thought about it deeply. As my previous excursions had molded me into a professional thief, but not exactly a hero. I will still do as I'm told as what the Guild desired of me. But the call of the Greybeards. They wanted my presence. Whether or not I deserved to even see them was decided on the factor that if I decided to go down that very path.

"I'm not sure what I'll do. I'm content with being with the Guild. It's not everyones version of a perfect life but I do the job and I know I do it well. Would you say the same if you were in my position?"

I'd seen Bryn look down between his own legs, suggesting that he wasn't expecting me to ask that question. Interesting. He'd never thought about it. I shouldn't have expected to him to. It wasn't his burden to speak of.

"If I had those abilities I'd see what I could do with them for what ever was in store for me. I would have no idea. It's not every day you see someone with your abilities lass."

True. Shouting isn't exactly a common power. Though my power was to learn them instantly without much training. Normally shouting would require dedicated study and years and years of concentration.

"But what if you're in my position?" I asked yet again. As in, the same fear, the same issues concurrent with all the other crap that was going on in my life. I could tell Bryn was yet again in deep thought as he looked away to think, his lips twitching and eyes dragging themselves to the roof.

"I still have no idea lass. Though my own say on it is that the Gods gave you and you alone this gift and you were born with it because you would know what to do with it when the time came. The Gods would not give this gift so lightly to just about anybody."

I lifted my head up. He actually had a good point about that. No one would know what to do with what was handed to them. I was born with this. It's not just something to take lightly. It required serious consideration.

"They gave it you. No one else would even begin to delve into situation like you have. They'd give it anyone else and any bet is that they'll squander it like it was just something to be abused."

It appeared Brynjolf was probably in a similar dilemma at some point or another. Not with being Dragonborn but perhaps a guild related concept. That it was built that no one everyone was suited to being a thief and was simply not their way to live. I dunno, I'm just guessing.

"So you're saying that I have this because...the Gods knew what I would do eventually. They could see the path I'd take. Heh, I wouldn't have given it to me if I'd know if I'd be so afraid of dragons themselves." I joked.

Bryn gave another smile. Annoying at first, but I began to feel better when ever he did.

"They may not see it that way. They could probably see that one day you'll make the right choice and whether or not you get the strength to carry on with it." He spoke with apparent wisdom.

I fiddled with my fingers and looked at my feet.

"Even if I never get over my phobia?" I questioned, feeling a bit vulnerable. It would be the lingering topic to spark in my brain for a long time to come. I'd ask myself the same question each time before I would ever encounter (hopefully not) a dragon again.

Bryn shuffled himself over and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. If it'd been anyone else, I would dragged myself away and at worst, punched them in the face. But I felt comfortable with him more than I'd ever been. Sneaky bastard managed to get to me. Got passed my high guard and into my circle of trust. And that was incredibly difficult to get into, believe me.

The look he gave me was just...I don't know. Helpful maybe? I'd come to rely on him heavily for the more intimate approaches to what ever issues I'd had. I'd hated to admit that they worked. That I had someone besides Tonilia to come close to. Even more so than my own family.

Even if he did not have all the answers, it'd gave me thought and the drive to find alternate means to get the information I needed to guide myself to what choices I had.

Not to mention it felt a bit nice to indulge in small talk, a luxury I couldn't afford elsewhere to anyone. But Talos forbid anyone else finding out about it, lest I become the laughing stock of the Guild. Though when I look at it, Bryn was also risking himself by getting close to me. Thousands of things could go wrong. I was a figure of importance to Skyrim, a behest of the myths common amongst the nord populace. A gleaming rare gemstone in the middle of a bunch of boring rocks and stones. He'd nudged through the crowd and became the figurative shield to prevent the worst from happening. I'm terrible at metaphors aren't I? Yeah. I'm trying to discover and ultimately find out what it was that I was here for.

"I think the point of it is, it wouldn't matter if you'd gotten completely over it by the time comes, but to overcome and acknowledge the fear is the first step to your own destiny" Brynjolf stated. I had a hint he was confused, but at least he was trying to understand what was going on.

"For example, a lot of people who've had plenty of experience in battle and would wander blindly and arrogantly to take the dragon down without taking the proper precautions necessary." He explained.

I was kind of getting what he was saying. I think.

"I see...so the average person would have encountered the common bandit or draugr if they're busy exploring...but to face a Dragon! Now to defeat one would require a different strategy!" I pointed out, making that realisation apparent.

Bryn nodded. I was relieved that this twister of nonsense was coming towards the eye of it.

"Exactly the point lass. You have to approach a dragon differently to what you face in everyday life. Or every other day. You have had a first hand experience to what a Dragon can do. And each time you fight one, the more you learn of their tactics and how to better defend yourself against them. You are frightened of them because you know what horrors they inflict. You have the ability and the knowledge on how to survive and even win against them."

I was better suited to battle a Dragon than everyone. Fantastic. Just great. I loved this...note that sarcasm there friend. The Gods made the most stupid decision of all time. Well done Akatosh. Well done.

"You'd think that they'd give to someone more noble?" I joked.

Bryn chuckled.

"They could have couldn't they? But they didn't. They chose you."

I looked away. Depressed. Brynjolf tightened his grip to make sure he wasn't gonna lose me. He then spoke to me in a whisper that drilled shivers down my spine and boiled a sickness in my stomach.

"Out of all the people born in the world, for reasons that only they could understand, they chose you. You and I may not ever fully understand why. We'll have our theories lass, we'll have dozens and hundreds of possible reasons and all of them could be wrong. In the end you might just have to accept that you may never find it. And all that you know, is that you, Petra, have this power inside of you and all you have to do is find a way to what it'll be used for."

I stared outwards, but I could feel his eyes, full of strength, hope and force, piercing into me, telling me I could believe. I wanted to, I really did. But as long as I always filled with uncertainty, I could never know.

It took some might for me to actually look straight back at him. He was awaiting for me to say something. Or not. Perhaps just looking for a type of response to what he'd said. Anything that would indicate an answer. Butterflies were making their home in my gut as soon as I got locked into his stare. His face was still, breath was light yet my heart was skipping beats. It was awfully mudded from then on.

He made a minor smile and patted my shoulder before standing up and reaching out his hand.

"While this is all find and dandy, and I probably was just talking out of my ass just then with philosophical crap. Unfortunately it's not all that productive when it's just talk and no action. I believe you have somewhere to be."

I grinned and grabbed his hand, as he snapped me back up to my feet. We shook hands, grasped them tight with determination. I nodded to him as I walked away, with work to behold.

I didn't need to say the words out aloud, but I'm pretty sure I thanked him with my smile.


	15. Curiosity

**I know you guys loved the Brynjolf chapters. Have another!**

**Chapter 15 **  
**Curiosity**

The lass left with a renewed authority in herself. I know it wouldn't be easy for her and while it pained me not to be there with her every step of the way, she had to take some of this on on her own. She didn't appear as a dragon had attacked her at all. I doubt there'd be a Dragon in the Rift for a long time.

I had no real destiny to fall upon. I was no chosen one or something of a legend in the great mythology of Nirn in general or even well versed in a lot of the history of Skyrim itself. I was just your professional thief doing the world a service it hated. There had to be a healthy balance of necessities this world needed. The light doesn't get touch everything and the darkness was always going to be inevitable and the constant clashes determined who lost and who won the battles. But neither could win the war.

I know when I first started it was difficult to attain at first, becoming the new blood and suffering from the trials that laid ahead. But I had total confidence that this was what I was supposed to do in life and unlike Petra I had certainty that this was where I was meant to be.

I made quick friends, allies and enemies in the long term and that's how it should have been. I survived this long to become reliable to whom ever was in charge. I held no desire to lead nor did I want to. My relationship with Mercer wasn't entirely perfect but we both knew where we stood in the Guild and that was that.

It was originally Mercer that recruited me initially and saw more potential for causing havoc. My own past wasn't entirely filled with glamorous pursuits or anything painfully dramatic. I was a rebel confided and bogged down with irrefutable laws and put up with it for a long time. Mercer had explained the Guild to me in terms that while it laws and rules unto itself, they were more lax with what could be and couldn't be done. I thought that was fair. I came to know Mercer out of a curious nature as he told me his own past deeds, that how he came to betrayed by one of our own and had spent decades trying to hunt the traitor down. I admired him out of his tenacity and back then I was a younger lad, feeling bright with Mercer as my mentor. I hadn't looked back since.

Even after we started to spiral downwards, Mercer entrusted me with most of the new recruits. I could understand the stress that was taking it's toll on him and that I was to make sure that we'd get things done right. I came around the same time Vex did and back then I laughed at the face Delvin made when he first laid on her. It was love at first sight. But we became this tight knit group under Mercer's leadership and we were the best under his lead, even when the coin seemed to dry up, we trusted each other and often had drunken shenanigans at the Flagon after a long day.

When Petra arrived things shifted. For better or for worse was not clear at that point. She could have been any kind of recruit at the time, eager to make some coin. Every recruit usually is.

But then once the coin started to roll back in thanks to her, things seemed to looking up in the first time in a long while. I wanted to know why she was so different to everyone else in the Guild. Why was she succeeding where everyone else had failed. It'd been the first time I was entirely curious since I was interested in what made Mercer tick. While Mercer was incredibly stubborn himself and often refused to talk about anything other than business, I'd come to believe that Petra was awfully similar and pushed away anyone attempting to get close to her.

Now I've gotten through to her, unlike where I failed with Mercer. I know it's not entirely important, but you've gotta look at this an angle where, while some people are more than happy to tell you their life story, they weren't the greatest stories told and had dead ends or just ended up being too boring to care about. Not that you couldn't care for them of course, it's just that they never became too interesting enough to question anything else and it ended up being just some of a casual friendship the ceased through the seasons.

I don't know what fascinated me more...whether it was her story, or her capability as a person. Some people might point out that the more she pushed me away, the more I was drawn to her. That wasn't the case at all with Petra. I had a level of curiosity but I also have standards at where the line was. I could help if need be and if she chooses to ignore then so be it.

But she wasn't ignoring me entirely that was it though. She was acknowledging I was there and pushed me away as if not to draw me into her problems. That's how I took it as. She could have said nothing and made no attempt to make note of my existence but after I'd seen what had happened with the dragon I saw what she was trying to do.

She was hiding this entirely so no one else would be hurt.

She became frustrated and tired by the notion of someone else butting themselves in where the consequences could become quite high. If her destiny as Dragonborn stood for something, she must have the belief that a lot of people could die if they got too close.

She pushed people away as to prevent their own deaths.

I can defend myself not a problem. I have no fear when it comes to combat, comes with the stubbornness with being a Nord. But like the lass, I wouldn't want people to get hurt if I could prevent it. But I wouldn't hesitate if I had my back up against the wall or if someone was outright trying to kill me. It's simple self-defence really.

Just like when the Dragon was about to get to the both of us. A dragon is much more tenacious and tougher than any foe I'd ever faced. I had the logic to fight it with arrows but in the end I'd knew it'd prove futile. Which was why I was willing to sacrifice myself just to make sure that Petra survives. I was going to get her to run as far as she could until the she had reached Riften in time to alert the guards.

But when she took hold, I swore I was looking at another person. Not Petra, but a full blown warrior with the full intent to kill.

I'd watched as she stabbed the beast repeatedly that I'd forgotten the fact she took my own dagger for the ordeal due me being genuinely stunned for words. She'd taken care of the beast but with great personal cost.

She risked her life, but she also risked humiliation. She risked her pride and honor to make sure I wasn't caught up in this unknown campaign. While she was a mess, she never had to say anything to let me know that this was the very thing she was trying to hide from me. The fact that she was so damn ashamed of that she got herself sick over it.

Why she did it just for me and didn't leave me to die as one would think was something I'd have to think over and over and still couldn't wrack my own brain for answers. She risked a lot to save one life.

It made me even more curious as to clue into her unusual behaviour even more after when I found her that day in the bears den. A secret she so fiercely guarded and yet...

She recovered well enough after that incident better than I'd hoped...after I had shown the initiative and let her know that I cared what happened and the constant assurances that came with it, to let her know I wasn't going to criticise or at worst, abandon her. No. She needed someone to tell her that. And that talk before she left for Honningbrew proved that. Because she knew no one else could possibly understand what she was going through.

And while I could never understand fully and may never end up understanding absolutely everything, I'd connected with her on a level that we both knew that our perspectives of one another were going to change and that her feelings for me had developed into something unique, that of something not even her relationship with Tonilia could not reach.

And you know what? I was glad she'd started the process into beginning to trust me on this, to which has my intention from when I first picked up the fact that she had something more going on than anyone would have known. And now that I do know and that I had gained her trust, that she could confide everything to me. As was proven when we had that little talk.

The process of development I knew from the get go was going to be long. That's okay. It was obvious that this was going to take time and that my experience with getting to know Mercer helped out greatly, since I learned of my own failures since then and worked on them to figure out what I had to do. Was it what I truly wanted? I honestly, to tell the truth had been something that was beginning to bother me. I had been testing out my skills in sussing out the truth in the hope of certain discoveries would be made known to me. And not by book or by legend but by the single life of a girl who wandered in my life one day.

I'd been thinking that over while she was gone. I'd speaking with Vex and Delvin about it.

"So hows your girl going? She's gone to Honningbrew Meadery I hear." Vex spoke with a hint of teasing.

I nodded.

"Aye, Maven wanted her to go on some kind of job request there." I replied. You could usually do your best to hide secrets, but rumours tend to float around the cistern.

Delvin smirked. His rumours of curses and hex's were all over the place. Always something to do with magic.

"Ah yes. I've been hearing that Maven wants to take the place over and that for months now she'd been plotting a way to make sure it get's into her hands."

I leaned back into the chair and had Vekel get me some ale.

"I also think it's got something to do with what happened with Goldenglow Estate. They're connected somehow." I commented, judging what I found out from Petra.

"Wouldn't surprise me." Vex noted. She was always the type you could count on to know what would happen irregardless and still have the same kind of whippy response to it. The benefits of a being an Imperial.

"Scorning Maven is signing a death sentence. You'd be foolish to do it."

I had to agree with her there. No one crosses Maven unless they preferred to get to know the Dark Brotherhood personally.

"I'm tryin' to think who'd actually thought it was a great idea! They don't have their head twisted on straight." Delvin noted.

"Not anyone I know of. Or else I would have gutted them already. Maven'd never have to ask."

Vex stated. Vex was similar to Maven in that regard, but she'd go out and take revenge herself. I couldn't tell who was scarier.

"Not to worry. Petra is on the job. If anyone could figure it out it'd be her." I assured them.

Vex snickered before she sipped her tankard, mocking me for my faith in the lass.

"And what is your problem?"

She looked at me, pretending to be offended. These two could be insufferable when they wanted to be. Once a rumour started, it got around to be the pick of the crop.

"What? I have no problem. I'm just smiling as all."

Delvin started to chuckle as well. I didn't understand what was so funny. I called bullshit to Vex's statement. But Delvin was getting on my nerves too. Shor's beard, why?

"Delvin...not you too..." I groaned. I had no idea what they were up to.

"What? No! No problem at all Bryn, just glad you uh...well..."

I crossed my arms and glared at the pair. They wanted to say something but now they were being assholes about it. Snickering about what ever I didn't know and made me think they'd been thinking about it for a while.

"Guys..."

Delvin looked at Vex as if to say, you tell em. Guy always sucked up to her. She adorned her cheeky grin before placing her tankard on the table and relaxed.

"Delvin and I had been talking about it for some time now and I think, or we think, you're getting a bit too personal with the girl...if you catch my meaning." Vex commented. I heard Delvin withholding a chuckle and snorted instead.

"That's nonsense. Petra and I are on a professional level. We have every right to speak to one another." I said in retaliation, but that might have sounded more forceful than it should have.

"Relax Bryn...we're not criticising you. Just makin' an observation that's all." Delvin noted, though I knew where the two were getting at.

I heaved a sighed and must have downed half of my drink when I saw Vex smile. A rarity, but still a bit on the scheming side.

"I actually think it's pretty good. Girl needs to wind down a bit, lower herself to a better level of fun. Get treasured and pampered for all the hard work she does."

I looked at her with scorning, half lidded eyes. It was rare that Vex complimented other people. She usually spoke with Petra as to avoid her from going soft. Petra reacted all the same.

"I really don't know why you two are pushing me with this." I questioned. I wanted them to leave well enough alone with what had nothing to do with them.

"You stress about her a lot, even if you don't say anything bout it. It's normal." Delvin noted. He was trying to make it sound like it was okay. It was okay, but they were dangerously implying more was going on. While I do stress about her, it's because I care. Is that such a crime?

"You can admit it to us Bryn, we're not gonna tell anyone. What ever is said in the Flagon, stays in the Flagon... am I right Delv?"

The bald Breton man nodded and raised his tankard. He then looked to Vekel who raised his tankard, who then raised one to Tonilia. Was what I was doing that obvious to them?

"You know we fully support you Brynjolf." Tonilia called from a distance.

"Just like we support Petra." Vekel explained.

I shook my head and rubbed my eyes. The whole damn Flagon was in on it. Unbelievable!

"You guys don't know what you're saying." I claimed. This was just getting too...uncomfortable.

"Of course we do Bryn. I do the same thing to Vex everyday. Don't I love?" Delvin mentioned.

Vex just groaned and made every attempt not to smash him over the head. I scrunched my fist. The thoughts just preferred to linger and dig into my mind from then on. Blast it.

"We're not gonna chastise you for your choices in life. You could have been more of a hero otherwise." Vex joked.

This was nothing to do with choice. This was just being a decent human being. Well, for a thief to thief perspective. But they made it increasingly hard to get the idea out. I couldn't think like that.

"We can help ya! I have a few thoughts I could suggest you in terms of...um..you know..." Delvin commented. Just no Delvin. I'm not pressuring either you or Vex with your little quarrels.

Vex couldn't believe it.

"Delvin none of your tactics have worked on me, what makes you think that Brynjolf is gonna have any luck with anything you've done."

I could have laughed at that, but I was getting annoyed by them pressing the issue.

"Guys please. No. Enough." I called out on. I felt a temper coming on.

"Why don't we get Thrynn to do it...he's always been one for the ladies." Vex joked.

Delvin chuckled.

"Oh no. He'd have no chance. What about..Mercer?"

The whole Flagon started to hackle at the mere image. Me? I definitely had enough. I'd left the Flagon without saying anything. It seemed childish, but they were making comments on nothing they knew about and the discussion became unbearable as I stormed out.

I went back into the cistern when I heard them speaking behind me.

"Did we actually manage to damage Bryn's pride?" Vex muttered.

"I can't believe that myself. But let the poor man be. He'll sort himself out soon enough."

Thanks guys. Thanks for your support.


	16. Honningbrew

**AN: Another generic follow the quest chapter, but also shippy. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 16  
Honningbrew**

I'd met up with Mallus, an imperial man, at the Bannered Mare in Whiterun. We explained our business about Meadery and how we were going get into the little plan of getting Maven to take it over.

I had to say the plan was quite well thought out and clever in terms of the time it took to plan and enact. All they needed was me to get in there and finish it off. I found it more amusing than anything I'd ever done. I'll get this done, no problem at all.

Once everything had been explained, I made my way to Meadery. Though once I left the Bannered Mare, I looked over at Dragonsreach. I couldn't bare to face the Jarl over what had happened and still never informed him of what had actually occurred at the Western Watchtower. I would have thought that his dunmer Housecarl Irileth, had talked over what happened there. I'd like to this that it would have confused him or if I'd known Irileth over the short time I was with her, she'd probably would have told him that I ran away in cowardice after we managed to kill the dragon.

Still, I couldn't drop my focus now. I had work to do and be damned if anyone was going to stop me now. Sovngarde forbid any dragon attack Riften directly. I would be even more screwed.

I met with Sabjorn in the meadery and bartered with him for a bit. He had something of a 'pest problem' and I had offered to deal with it. He wasn't going to pay to do it at first, but I persuaded him to at least give me half since 'that was the only way I worked'. He gave me the poison to help kill off the Skeevers. Oh this was going brilliantly thus far.

So I went on to find the source, only to find the planks Mallus mentioned to be taken off the hole in the wall, revealing the cave within. I went inside, fired my arrows at the Skeevers and what ever parasites were dwelling in the depths of this decrepit place. Went fine, until I found a mad man down here, almost taking me by surprise. I fired several arrows him before he went down. He was a spell caster in general, but his madness was the end of him.

I'd found the nest and poured some of the poison on it. I found another cave that I entered, eventually ending up in the brewery. Exactly where I wanted to be.

I poured the rest of the poison into one of the brewing vats. Despite the issue of the mad man, this was actually pretty easy. I then returned back to Sabjorn and let the whole matter unfold as the Captain of the Guard arrived.

After that matter had been taken care of, Mallus offered his services as fence if I ever had any thing illegal to sell. Helpful no doubt not just to myself but to any of my guild mates. I still had the matter of finding anything useful in Sabjorns office. I helped myself after Mallus prompted me to and found another set of documents related to the Goldenglow Issue. And a nice Decanter that might be worth much.

With that in mind, I set out to head back to Riften. After Goldenglow, I had the courage to ride Cody again and our bond was as strong as ever. I know reading all the commotion I had to do was pretty boring. In fact it wasn't as challenging as I'd hoped. But I was honoured enough to do the work and Maven needed to done to find out what was going on.

I'd contemplated more than once to head back to Dragonsreach after all this time, wondering if I should speak with the Jarl. I couldn't bare to face him with my fear. I told myself many times. Don't know why I'd head up there, perhaps to assure the Jarl I was still alive. But since I was with the Guild, I couldn't afford to associate myself with him.

So I headed back across the long road back to Riften, often looking up upon the Throat of the World and wondered if I should visit the Greybeards...just to find out what I was supposed to do. I'm sure what I was doing was fine and I was doing well, but perhaps maybe it was time that I recognised my true calling in life and dedicate myself to a life of discovery.

But for now I still had work to do. As long as the Guild needed me I would be at their beck and call no matter what. I didn't like to admit that they were the only people I knew and I'd become so used to the presence that a major change to my life appeared rather daunting. Mercer would lose his one perfect gal and I don't think he'd take no for an answer. He was welcome to try me. Haha. Nah. Guys just weird. Probably still pissed off. Man needs to relax.

I didn't want to disappoint Brynjolf either. I know it seems silly now that before I said I wouldn't have cared what anyone thought. I've learned now that he, speaking from his actions, did actually care for me.

No one should care for me but myself. I wouldn't want any harmed in what I was supposed to do and in the meanwhile learn and grow. I was well off now and I could generate enough coin to afford to explore. Go raid dungeons and so forth. It seemed so appealing. As long as I didn't have to land an eye on a dragon, I'd be fine. Mercer could give the order to go elsewhere and I would have gone on the just terms that I wouldn't have to encounter any dragons. I doubt he'd consider putting me, one of his most skilled thieves, in that much danger.

"Cody, what do you think I should do? Should I just...keep going at what I'm doing? Or should just find out what I'm truly capable of. This is so confusing."

I wasn't expecting him to reply of course. But it did help push my thoughts along. That the Dragons were maybe more important than giving the Guild back it's dignity. Anyone would admit that being thief wasn't exactly noble of course, but it was fun, challenging and kept me focused. But if I was Dragonborn, then I was truly meant for something more.

The only problems were my phobia and the fact that this would draw unnecessary attention to me and the Guild. I'd either have to cut ties or just...I don't know. I have no idea.

But I made it back to Riften in one piece, which was a bonus. Came back during the night and spoke with Maven, whom suggested I go back to Mercer with the information gathered. Though Maven was still peeved, she rewarded me well for my efforts. Brynjolf was right after all. She did take care of her own.

I returned to the cistern and had a word with Mercer, who made the connection between the notes from Goldenglow and Honningbrew, which suggested someone was being a major sneak and trying to break the Guild apart from within. I'd wondered if Mercer admired the person behind it, he claimed to have, but not to mistake his admiration for complacency Fair enough.

Though he also noted that there was a name mentioned on the note that was in fact an alias of someone he knew. A Gulum-Ei, an Argonian who works for the East Empire Company in Solitude.

I'd expected Mercer to get me to get him to spill the beans from the slimy lizard. And without a doubt, simply tasks me to do so.

It was fascinating how much Mercer and the Guild came to depend on me. I felt honoured but I didn't want to singled out. I'd get too notorious that way. But I'd gone this far and Mercer wouldn't want to place this in anyone else's hands.

Not knowing much about this Gulum-Ei character, I went to look for Brynjolf for any information. I went to the Ragged Flagon and looked around. He strangely wasn't there. I went back into the Cistern, back into the training room. He wasn't anywhere in sight.

I asked Vekel where he ran off to, the man simply said he went outside to get some fresh air. I found that suspicious. Brynjolf hardly left the cistern or the Flagon itself let alone go outside for 'fresh air'. Something had happened in here recently and I could smell it. The others refused to acknowledge my presence only backing up what Vekel had said. I rolled my eyes at their feeble attempts at lying to me. I went to the surface myself, and looked around Riften to find the man.

It was dark and it was quiet. The Plaza was empty and the only people roaming around were the town guards. I'd gone into the bee and barb and he wasn't there. I went to the Temple of Mara and he wasn't there. Gods know why I'd even find him there. But it was just one of a few places I was trying.

I'd completely missed the man who I could have sworn wasn't there a minute ago, sitting with his legs crossing looking at the Statue of Talos in the light of the torchbugs that floated around him.

I walked over and sat down next to him. I looked at him, becoming concerned as he just looked like he was staring into space.

"I've been looking for you." I told him.

I could hardly read his face. He'd been swamped down with something fierce. He didn't bother to even look at me, which was strange.

"Aye." He responded. So deadpan and lacking life. Unusual.

"Is everything okay?" I questioned. Something must have happened in the Cistern. Everyone else was being quiet about it.

"Everything's fine lass."

I knew Bryn well enough to know he was lying.

"Don't do that to me." I scolded.

"Don't do what?" He replied. He was deliberately avoiding the subject or at least, pretending that he was doing nothing wrong.

I shook my head. I looked up at the Statue of Talos and recalled Bryn saying he wasn't really the religious type. I'm tried wrapping my head around it.

"Nice night." I commented, attempting to get a casual conversation going.

"Aye."

"Honningbrew job went well if you wanted to know."

"Good to hear."

Even if didn't want to listen to what I had to say, I told him what occurred and the funny things that happened during the time, like when Sabjorn got arrested by the Captain. I still found that amusing.

He didn't laugh or take notice of what I was saying. It didn't matter. Brynjolf was a strong man, what ever happened he'd get over it quickly I'd imagine.

"Mercer wants me to go to Solitude tomorrow. He's found someone we can talk to about the buyer who took Goldenglow and Honningbrew. Gonna find some slimy Argonian by the name of Gulum-Ei."

Brynjolf blinked. There was something odd about him, especially in the possibility of him actually praying to Talos. It was too...out of character.

"He's a stubborn lizard." He commented. "You're gonna have to buy him off."

I nodded. I'd sensed he was paying attention even if he was off with the torchbugs.

"I'll try and keep that in mind when I find him. Oh and I also want to mention, I've been thinking about what we talked about earlier."

He sat there still, but I kept speaking.

"I'm thinking of visiting Greybeards if I get some time off. I think maybe I'll find answers to what I've been looking for there. As much as I want to stay with the Guild, I won't be able to find out my own destiny you know? I won't be gone forever obviously."

It's in the truest of my forethoughts. I am not rid of my fears just yet but in the seasons gone by I have grown stronger. I must know how I will overcome and the Greybeards may have the solution.

"Do what you must do. I won't stop you."

By Talos that just sounded really depressing. What was going on in that thick head of his?

"I know you've never heard me say this before Bryn, and it may be the only time you hear me say it...but I...uh...I appreciate you being there for me. At my worst...when everyone else would have turned me away."

I'd left him with that thought. I've been unbelievably selfish friend. I've come to see that. I wasn't going to bother him any further with the subject. I still feel for him though. I felt the need, I was compelled to let him know he's been nothing but a benefit. And I'm being a milk-drinker with just saying the words to him. By Talos why was that so difficult?

I'm still hiding in my own shell, but he's the only one I've let in there. But while I was going to let him figure what ever issues he was having and he knows he can come to me. I've never confided my pain in many people. I confide in Cody but he doesn't count since, hey, he's a horse.

He's a strong man and I've seen that. I'll make him feel better somehow, as long as it takes me.

And...thank you. Shut up, I am not blushing. It couldn't be any worse that this.


	17. Gulum Ei

**Chapter 17  
Gulum-Ei**

I left for Solitude in the early hours of the morning, making sure I'd get there sometime in the evening, I'd packed my bags and found Brynjolf back in the Flagon, appearing like his old self again.

I'm not as well...how would you put it, experienced in the fields of consolation as he. I'm not exactly the cuddling type. I've had this type of renewed strength but only because I was entirely focused.

He smiled at me, which gave me some relief. I knew he'd be okay. So with that, I was off... though Mercer wanted a word with me first for what ever reason. It was mostly that what ever information I find I speak with him first. Of course, as if I'd have any other choice. He was being so insecure about it for some reason. Perhaps it was nearing it's end and he was getting a little antsy of course. He seriously needs to get laid.

The trip over was largely uneventful, a pack of wolves...a troll. The usual band of trouble that one would find out on their way. I mean, the trip from Riften to Solitude is usually one of the longest, since you're going one side of the province to the other. I've made this trip several times but you always seem to find something new, traversing all types of terrain, being exposed to rises and drops in temperature. That sort of thing

After making it to Solitude in one piece and got there just as the sun was going down. I went to the Winking Skeever to find him. Stupid name.

I found the lizard and had a...cloaked conversation. He pretended to know but not know. There was so much crap in his mouth that I couldn't stand it. But I made do. I got him to spill that the buyer was particularly pissed at Mercer Frey. From then on it made things infinitely more interesting than before.

He left. I was prompted to tail him. I snickered at the very thought of it. Jokes aside, I followed him to the docks then inside the East Empire Company's docks and followed him inside the Warehouse.

I crawled and snuck my way around guards, ended up jumping on shelves and so forth. I was so good at this. Silly Argonian. His smugness will cost him dearly. As tempting as it was to fire an arrow into his cold, scaly heart, Mercer still needed him as a contact and person with the Company and still be the go between them and the Guild and get the good pick of the treasures that came in with every shipment that came by.

Still, I found a huge building up to the top. I became curious to its contents. There was a distinct lack of guards. Well, there were guards, but clearly not enough. I stole coin and a huge map, which could be beneficial to the Guild. I tucked it away and quickly made my way back to Gulum-Ei after that riveting detour.

I watched him carefully as he just disappeared underneath the docks. A little more investigated divulged that there was a secret entrance. Clever.

I worked my way around and realised this place was filled with bandits. They certainly had the smell about them. But there were so many things to steal that being a professional thief imbued the very feeling of kleptomania into my spirit. I'm sure my parents would be proud. Stole potions, gold, jewellery. All mine!

I made my way around in great haste. I'd taken down a few of these vagabonds the only way I knew how. In the shadows with my trusting bow, with an arrow to the heads or their hearts. Sometimes both.

I wormed my way throughout, dispatching more bandits before finding Gulum-Ei. I must have put the fear of the Gods in him, the way that anxiety riddled his eyes. I know the frightened view of pitiful souls, so I picked him up by his collar and pressed him against the shelves. Didn't care that I knocked a few things down.

We proceeded to negotiate further. He managed to spit out the buyers name as Karliah. I hadn't known that name yet he expected me to know it. He then revealed it as the one who killed Gallus, the previous Guild Master.

Very interesting. The plot itself thickens and I anticipated on how it was going to end. I'd get into Mercer's good books (hah) when I asked him where she was. All the lizard could say was.

"_Where the end began..._"

Very cryptic...but perhaps Mercer would obviously know this meaning. I dropped the Argonian who basically was regretful in the whole ordeal. To what extent was unknown, but he offered to be a fence. Something useful after all.

I let him go and headed back to Riften with the news.

So, the whole story had indeed surrounded Mercer. No wonder he always appeared grouchy. This was a good reason to be. I'd be extremely infuriated if the one who betrayed came back to bite me in the ass. Hard. And this Karliah was doing well to piss him off. I say good work in getting to undermine the guy. She was very clever and I'd even admire her for it if she wasn't a traitor.

I wanted to get Mercers side of the story as well. I know my stories seem...possibly repetitive to you friend. I mean, betrayal is all about asking why? Why? What compels an individual to become what they are then at the last moment change? I reflected upon this with my own issues and wondered if it was possible to betray my emotions and kick a dragons ass accordingly. One day Petra, one day. For now, you are focused and blessed with the greatest thing that keeps you alive. It could be worse.

Maybe the Greybeards would know the answer? Hmm?

I came back to Riften in the late hours of the afternoon and I was just tired. Really tired. I'd forgotten to rest when I was excited by the prospects of telling Mercer. It was getting to the end of this scenario. I'd wager Mercer would want to dispatch Karliah and the Guild would be back on it's feet in no time. And I'd get time to discover myself.

Before I got to do anything, once I told Mercer what I had found out, he basically said out loud that both of us would be going to...Snow Veil Sanctum...at least that's what he thought was the meaning of the words. I told Mercer I'd wait for him there as I had to prep myself. He pretty much just left straight away after giving me directions on my map. That man gives me the creeps sometimes. The way he often looked at me. But enough about that.

I went to Delvin to sell the map to him, then went to talk to Brynjolf about what transpired and what was about to transpire. He took me into the training room to talk to him alone. Okay then.

We stood in the middle of the room, with him having this serious look on his face. He stood rather close to me and looked me straight in the eye. He was definitely worried about something.

"First off, I know I was being a bit strange the other night. I had an argument with the others in the Flagon and it got heated." He worded.

I figured out as much.

"Any fists thrown?" I asked, jokingly.

Brynjolf made a warm smile. It suited him. It really did.

"Nope. Could of, but Dirge would have thrown us out on our asses. I turned tail and ran off. Gave me time to think."

I learned I could depend on Brynjolf but I didn't want to weigh all my problems on him. He may have been the only one thus far to understand me in the slightest, but I felt bad about putting my burdens on him when he just didn't deserve it.

So it was my turn to help him.

"What were you thinking about?" I wondered out to him. You know, let him relay his issues to me. I have learned a lot after all.

But he was hesitant to reply straight away, like the issue was complicated enough.

"Just...the way the guild has gone lately. You're out to face Karliah, our sworn, unseen nemesis. I want you to be extra careful."

I smirked.

"You can trust me to be okay Brynjolf, I'll promise I'll come back alive. No need to worry. Unless there's a dragon, I'll..."

I know the proposition of dragons always entered the picture, my phobia would take over me as I became as useless and heavy as a rock in water. Unmovable and wet with tears. I know the instant I hear their roars and their screams, I always picture Helgen once more.

Though my journey with the Guild sent me all over Skyrim. I made sure to map out my locations carefully and determine the best, safest routes. Dragons, normally (not counting before) stay off the main roads and elsewhere. I know now that my survival depended on me using tactics to avoid them as much as I possibly could.

I think, it's just a trigger that sets me off, you know. I can freely talk about dragons in certain terms and aspects but if I as so much see one, hear one, see a picture of one, see a great big fire, it can set me off. I'm fine otherwise. In those events however, I become such a mess that I can no longer see myself there, I become trapped in my mind unable to do anything but wallow in cowardice.

Brynjolf has tried, he never judges me on it. He sees me for me, like I had always wanted and that the phobia was just an obstacle that needed time for me to get over. I'd never considered the concept of fully ridding myself of it. I've treated it as a sickness, searching for a cure. It's got to be the joke of the Gods on constructing such a destiny, a fate for myself that has me dealing with it.

I took to recall the other conversation I had with Bryn. The reasons why I was chosen. Ultimately, the Chosen One, still has choice, hence the term Chosen. No, that's a load of crap and you and I both know it. I do have choice. I never had the choice to fear it's just there and I'm cursed under it's spell. No, I can confront it. I can learn do what it takes to overcome. And it's the Greybeards that can put me on the right path to do so.

The other part Brynjolf mention was that I might make a thousand assumptions to find why. The question why would forever float around begging me to find the answer. I'd discovered that the reason of why would be my own creation? Why I was given this gift? This...curse. Because the Gods knew I would be of their main design.

It's not just the fact that I can shout easily and destroy dragons, but it all boils down to choice. I can afford to make my own way and not have my fate seen or written anyone else. I chose to come to Riften because...I knew it's reputation as a dark place and that my own instincts guided me there.

I have control of this fate. I could lead myself to where ever. I could be shown the way, but I had the ability to either go forth with it or ignore it completely.

I've read of certain individuals amongst the depths of legends who have had such control. Who originally saw themselves as being manipulated on a subtle scale and then became who they were in their own right. Like the Nerevarine of old, and the Hero of Kvatch. These stories became embridled in history and as a result of their actions were made known through Tamriel.

Maybe I'd become one of them. To wear the term Dragonborn and that it wasn't every day you'd see one, was just as notorious as the Nerevarine. That no one cared what race they were, what gender and what abilities they had, in that they were just people who achieved so much and had made such an impact in their eras to be written down on the vestige of time.

And in those thoughts, I desperately wanted to overcome. Because I had the potential to do so. And that was...fantastic. It brought so much light to my life. Once I had cursed this, now I realise what was going on and the possibilities were endless.

Sorry for going on about that. Moving on...oh yeah. This part.

Brynjolf got closer to me. I shuddered as he looked over my small stature, placing his palm my cheek, stroking it with his thumb. Butterflies were reborn in my stomach as he did so. His smile. Oh what can I say? It was just full of warmth and his eyes darting all over my face for some reason.

And when he opened his lips, his voice as so...how can I describe it? Soft? Tender? Real...intimate.

Assurances. All assurances I'm sure of it. Don't you dare giggle at me friend, this is serious!

"Petra, Mercer will take care of you. Any dragons arrive he'll just have to drag you away. He's competent enough to know what to do." He explained to me with his soft, pleasing voice.

I swallowed, then bit my lip as my eyes turned away. I tried to get away from his gaze at that awkward tense moment. Bryn was so adorable with his outmost trust in Mercer. Wait, did I say adorable. Ah crap.

He placed his other hand on my other cheek, now holding my face. He was adamant to look me in the eye, as if trying to figure something out. Everything about him was so warm and welcoming, I could have gotten lost in his eyes. You would have to if he was doing this to you friend.

My mouth hard started to drop. He was definitely studying me...or waiting for me to speak. One or the other. I then realised he was just trying to get me to forget about the dragons for that moment. Oops there goes my trail of thought again!

I looked down, raised my shaking arms and slowly but surely wrapped my arms around him, like a big teddy bear. He pressed me against his chest, moving one hand to the top of my head, and the other around me. I could have lingered there forever. It was nice. Like after we killed that dragon together.

All he was doing was letting me know that it was definitely going to be okay. But even so, with my ear against his chest, he certainly wasn't calm. His heart beat was going at it like crazy and that tiny little shake he was doing, which I thought was me at first, indicated he was nervous, or scared himself. I'd love to know how he was doing it so discreetly that you'd actually have to focus to recognise it. But I wasn't going to point it out. I was trying to find out why he was either nervous or scared.

"Bryn?" I muttered, my voice vibrating against his chest.

"Mmm?" He replied brazenly. I liked the feeling of his hand rubbing my head. Felt good.

"You know, after this...I know it sounds strange, but would you mind accompanying me when I go to the Greybeards?"

Yeah I wanted him to come with me. Such a stupid question. Brynjolf is a very busy man! Being Second-in-Command is very important! So busy! I asked him anyway, just letting him know he was welcome to, help me if needed? I don't know. The question just rolled out unwanted. I was totally prepared to go by myself, because hey, I'm the Dragonborn. No one else needed to be involved...and I...

"If all goes well with defeating Karliah, Mercer could be in a better mood than he's ever been...so it's a possibility." He responded.

I uh...huh. You know I originally never intended to say that. It kind of just dropped out. Let's hope that it happens of course!

"You don't have to if you don't want to Bryn..." I said, placing my chin on his chest and looking up at him from below. I was probably pleading or at least giving the pleading look. He just chuckled and grinned. I could have sworn his heart was beating faster now.

"Of course I want to go lass. You deserve a lot more recognition than the Guild actually tells you. Now it's time we help you instead."

We parted ways, and shook hands on the agreement. It was funny you know, that our own general closeness had gotten to this point. I liked it. Just something to look forward to after a long hard day. Most people would be prudish but Brynjolf was pretty open. In private. He'd die before anyone else saw him act the way he did. It was an amusing thought.

"Good luck out there lass." He called out as I left the cistern.

Thanks for the hug.


	18. Discovery

**Chapter 18  
Discovery**

I know my attitude towards the whole thing got flipped on it's head. It's not something I had even considered but the others manage to speak about it and suddenly they got this terrible idea stuck in my head.

But my mind became clouded in it and I didn't like it. It wasn't right. It wasn't possibly and it was just inappropriate to talk about. But the more I pushed the thoughts away, the harder they came back again.

I was becoming a bit paranoid about it and decided that work would give me something to think about. Not at least until she'd come back from Solitude with the news. I'd apologised to the others for my behaviour. I took major offence that I hardly realised until later on that...Gods.

I'd sat in front of Talos to think, not to make massive prayer or what ever is it that these people do. It really got to me. I had to force myself to remember that these people didn't know half of what was going on in her life and I'd just been helping her out...out of kindness.

It had meaning and power to it. Nothing that I'd had out of the ordinary, since I'd seen those light blue eyes walk through those doors that day. Something was definitely distinct. Coloured. Fresh.

It shouldn't have gotten to me. Not really. I was fine until they spat it out.

She'd found me there. I should have known she'd come looking for me. She talked and I listened in to her stories. I would have smiled if I wasn't in a bad mood. Because that moment crushed my mind into disarray. Splintered it. That had never occurred to me before. Not ever.

I can push it aside but I refuse to acknowledge it's existence, crumbled forever into my subconscious. But when she appeared there beside me, my mind wanted to become clear in her presence, to press the matter and make everything okay. But instead it made it even more awkward between us.

I'm amused at the spirits laughing at me. Talking to Talos, then Talos gives me his future incarnate to deal with me. That couldn't have been coincidence. He'd been doing this on purpose. I just know it.

When I think about Delvin and his mention that the Guild was cursed, I was originally sceptical about it. But when Petra came into the picture and her story came into full view, things started to move and shift in my mind. About what could happen and what could be. A thousand futures at once.

When she left that day, I was in a better mood since I made amends for my wrong doings. By wrong doings it was just saying sorry. No one pressed the matter after that. I don't know whether that was better, or worse. Then she returned, no problem, no hassle. I dwelled on it, trying to figure out what it was.

We had another meeting alone in the training room. This time it was me who was anxious when we walked in there. Our own little haven when no one else was there. I had to test my thoughts out, to seek my hearts desires.

I was proud of her of course and a little envious. Karliah may have been before my time, but the way Mercer used to scorn her, call her a little wench and the total hatred he had for her. She was also dangerous and lethal if you weren't prepared for her. But Mercer had put his faith in her abilities after all the legwork she'd been doing and I guessed he wanted to see her abilities for himself. No matter. You'd think that after all of my trying my efforts would have given me some recognition. I'd been a loyal dog but the Guild is my home...my family. I would do anything for it.

Petra was part of the family now. Long deserved that recognition. She'd mentioned the dragons again and being a touchy issue that I wanted to put a thought, a memory in her head to think of me when she was in trouble. I don't think that would ultimately be the issue in terms of who was going to be with. Mercer could be a brute of a man at times, constantly scolding. But he was on edge with all the issues of the Guild weighing down on his shoulders. I know he was trying but...

It didn't matter. The brightest of the Guild were out to get revenge. Sweet revenge. And I was jealous that I couldn't be a part of it. I'd sneak in smaller glimpses at Petra and Mercer talking from time to time. She'd never tell me though. And she'd never mention it. Since it was always about business as far as I was aware. Lately, I'd gotten on edge myself and anxious about their interactions, like neither were telling me anything. It was nothing to do with me and if Mercer needed something from me he just had to say the word. Petra acted all the same so I tried to think nothing over it.

So all I did was imprint on her. I got closer as I'd noticed she drifted away from me, her eyes glistening, as if she was recalling a darker time. I'd given her warmth and comfort. I wanted to look deep into her stare and hope she didn't witness me withholding my pride there for a moment. I cradled her face in my hands. Truthfully, she just needed focus.

My eyes started to crawl around her small, thin and pale face. My gut churned up something fierce as I checked out her lips of all places as she smiled at me. I uh...never been this way around a woman before. Not that I haven't been with a woman it's just that...

Uh. well, I did wrap my arms around her little body. To remind her of the days of darkness that might overwhelm her, that she could depend on me to aid her when ever she needed it the most.

I could feel my cheeks warm up, funnily enough and my body started to shake, slightly. Shor's head I didn't want her to find out. This was just making me weak. Though she'd asked me out of the blue if I wanted to come with her to go see the Greybeards after it was all finished up.

To tell you the truth I haven't seen the world as much as I wanted to. I've been around Skyrim but not in it's truest, deepest depths. To travel around, raid old ruins and to find the greatest haul. It was a dream of mine. The riches could keep me well fed for years and my appetite for adventure would grow.

I'd been stuck in the Guild for so long that I'd forgotten what it felt like. To slay innumerable foes and discover life's greatest mysteries. The way that my life had been, in the drenches of this cistern, blindly following orders. I don't doubt the best of my years have been with the guild and there had unquestionably been some ups and downs. But after this I figured I could afford the change of pace and the thought of the thrill of pilfering through run down caves did nothing to quell my hunger.

It was comical when she pressed her chin against my chest like a pup pleading for it's treat. I think she expected me, as Mercer's secondary, to stay here as work would still need to be done. Mercer would need me if he wanted me anyway and he could find anyone else to do his work.

And when I told her that it was possible...her face lit up like an aurora in the night sky. My own heart wrenched at the sight.

It was...so beautiful. We broke off our current contact, as hard as it was, funnily enough. She left with this hopeful grin adorning her face and it had been the greatest treasure I'd discovered so far.

And after she'd disappeared, I'd already started to miss her.

Wait, was that how it went? I'm not actually. Oh no...no this wasn't right. Not right at all. I feel so...uneasy about it. How...how could I have been so blind? I'm not conceiving this right. I have the utmost respect for Petra and would do anything to help her. I just felt like I'd just taken a beating from a dragon myself. But there are no dragons in Riften...only...Petra. Aye, this was Petra's territory. I think. How should I bloody know how dragons live? My image of them are these isolated creatures who prefer to be alone and attack anybody who disturbs...I. For goodness sake what in Shor's name am I talking about? My advice is shite, and my metaphors are complete tripe. I'm not the kind of the man she thinks I am. I mean, uh...you know I want to help her. That's it. You know. Why do I have this one to a thousand free thoughts left wandering about and poking me in the gut, my heart and my head at the same time? I can't think straight anymore. I just don't understand what's wrong with me?

Pushing it aside, made it worse. I'd forgotten I was still in the training room long after she'd disappeared. Maybe joining her afterwards wasn't such a good idea after all. Or maybe it is. It'd give me my golden purpose and my silver purpose to figure out what I was indeed feeling. Whether it was true or something was messing with my head. All I know to say is...

Thank you Mercer, you made me more envious of you now. Now you'll have to excuse me, I need to go have some mead to think things over.


	19. Snow Veil Sanctum

**AN: Lady73 glad you're liking it so far. But be wary, this next chapter. You're going to hate it and me. Seriously...you'll know what I mean, read on.**

**Chapter 19 Snow Veil Sanctum**  
**(Or you might find some of its contents disturbing)**

I'd met our gracious Guild Master at the entrance of the Sanctum. I'd never gotten to know him much throughout my time with the Guild. He would have never let me in if he hadn't gotten Bryn's confidence. Still, while everyone else came to bare my presence and came to respect me eventually, I never got the right vibes from Mercer, like he never wanted me here. Man had fallen into depths of management stress and like me, always wanted to talk about business but he was just so...strained and buggered all the way up to Sovngarde. He'd speak to me, but you never knew what the man was really thinking.

Though to be truthful, and I really don't want to discuss this, but...I seriously am freaked out by the breton. I never really put much thought into myself since I could forget about it and my mind could travel elsewhere. Plus...this would most likely get me thrown out of the Guild and either me or Mercer's arse getting kicked for him doing it. And I'd think Brynjolf would have been killed for it. So I stomached it and never said anything. But...but don't judge me from what I'm about to say.

Sigh, Mercer I'm certain, has a serious issue in terms on how he deals with women. He eyes off Sapphire but does not say a word. Sapphire and I had come to terms with what was off limits when we talked. So while we might not like each other, we had an understanding. That was fine. We both liked being alone. Whether or not this was triggered by Karliah or what I didn't know. Mercer, as Guild Master, has many times just given me strange looks. I never mentioned it before because it wasn't important. I never figured as much anyway, so sorry for being so sudden with it.

The connections between thieves were limited. We were often alone and prided in doing so. Too many people caused a ruckus, so the times we had to ourselves was just a natural habit off the selfish, greedy thief. We came to trust only ourselves the most and everyone else second. In Mercer's case, either third or fourth. Man is so self-centred sometimes. Even more so than your regular thief. Reaps the benefits and gets all the good haul and he's the one getting showered in gifts? Something wasn't right.

Everyone just didn't see it or ignored it like I did. I wouldn't have any doubts he was a really good thief and I could see why Brynjolf thought of him as a mentor. He was just...odd at times. I'd spoken about it to Tonilia just once and she just told me not to start any rumours or else he'd pick them up quickly and drive a wedge throughout the guild to find the source and cut them in half in more ways than one. Whether it was just with the women I dunno. Never asked Vex since she was part of that little crew of his. Never told Bryn since he'd never believe me.

So when Mercer told me to lead and he'll follow, I questioned his logic. You do not dare question Mercers logic. He pushed me against the wall, against my own will, and gave me the worst glare , that I shuddered from. I could have pressed back. It wasn't the fact that I'd be committing a crime against my own boss but a compelled feeling of just being weak and vulnerable. I tried to remain still, since resisting would make things worse. But, ugh, this next part just makes me feel incredibly sick...

I'd back chatted and that was enough. The man on edge was pushed and pushed back. No, he'd...

_forced_ his lips on mine, digging his tongue into my throat and taking me by surprise. What in Oblivion? Where were the signs? I felt disgusted so much I'd tried forcing myself back but trying to wriggle my way out but he was just too strong. The aura he was giving off was giving me mixed messages and tangling the very thoughts in my head. Just gross. And he was groaning! _Ew_!

It'd been a mixture of a nightmare that I'd been so absent-minded that I no longer had control of my body. He...slithered his hand up from the bottom of my armour, his fingertips flushing over my stomach. I tried to push him back, but he instead kneed in the gut. I'd almost hurled as he did so.

This grubby man was unbelievable. How was it I had no strength to fight? How could I have anything to fight back. I was an archer! I needed distance for a reason! I...

"_You will listen to me_." He muttered into my ear, his voice low and frightening. The worst part was he was pushing me against the wall, forcing my legs on each side of him. His...his hard on imminent as it brushed up against my thighs. I...I...where was Bryn? I wanted to scream his name, but Mercer had his palm over my mouth. I'd take the Dragons over this any day. Where was a dragon where you needed one? No. I wanted Brynjolf. Tears dropped from my eyes. This was so...shameful. I couldn't...I wouldn't...he shouldn't. Gah Petra you pathetic fool!

"I've been watching you for some time now little pet. I know Brynjolf has been looking after you. He's so...admirable. Unfitting for the Guild. He may be skilled but his honour and love for you above all us is just so...not Brynjolf. He was fine until you came...I was fine until you came."

I swallowed hard. I was so...angry but feeble. Just that extra tone of his underneath that low, low whisper, his voice sending chills and hot flushes everywhere.

"People follow my orders for a reason. I could tell you a hundred stories and you'd believe me. Sapphire, Vex, Tonilia...they all did the same thing. They don't say a word because they know what will happen."

And here it was just me thinking that they were like this by default. Especially Sapphire.

"_But you're the most interesting one by far..._"

I shivered as he started suckling my neck, groaning again as he started to thrust against me. No...this couldn't be happening! Brynjolf...I...no, please my friend, don't look.

"You're certainly the cutest one, that's a given. I see why Brynjolf likes you. You know he was only doing that to get to you. Difference is that I'm honest about it. I know what I want and I know that I get it. Bryn like's to take the difficult approach. Being all kind and muddy. It's a stupid way to court people and you dispose of them like carcasses. But I have use for all the ladies in my Guild. They're exactly like _you_, except for being the most skilled I've seen since Karliah..."

My eyes opened wider. I was being compared to a traitor? That's why? He...he was taking it on me? Since he wanted her? I...I didn't know what to think. I just wanted him to stop! Brynjolf could never, he wouldn't...he'd...I'd...

"You'll make do for now. You and I can be great buddies in the coming seasons. Oh yeah, we can go on the greatest heists. I have one planned up after we've dealt with Karliah. And you're coming with me."

He went back to kissing me. His breath stank of ale, but in my head was just...too many feelings going on at once I could explode! His moaning was unbearable...then, he'd...grabbed...

Seriously friend, I was being violated here. I couldn't scream...all I could...I...

My minds gone...hollow and my heart non-existent. I can't speak about it anymore...I'm sorry...

My minds gone blank.

* * *

I'm here. Still...somewhere. Awake. But...

We'd gone inside. Mercer picked the lock easily. We'd navigated, he chatted and I was silent. Found a an old boat model I'd sell to Delvin, worth the explosion it caused. Killed Draugr and the like, found a word wall that embedded itself into my head and yet again I couldn't comprehend it's meaning nor understand it. My state is still in limbo. Sorry...

It'd become less of a hassle as we'd taken down dozens of the relentless and noisy...so noisy, Draugr. Their shouts made Mercer more hostile and mad enough for him to go on a frenzy with his blades. To you, this was the face of a true monster. What ever happened, he'd make every reminder f what he did to me with every smile, with every creature he slayed with EVERYTHING HE DID.

But I remained calm friend. I've remained so calm, so damn calm it would make YOUR head SPIN! Isn't it fascinating? The way that people CHANGE BECAUSE OF THIS! YOU CAN'T DO A GODS DAMNED THING. NO YOU JUST SIT THERE AND DO NOTHING.

I...I'm sorry...you can't do anything...can you? Can anybody? Is anybody? I can't walk among people after this. Where ever I go...I want my freedom. But I'm locked back that cage...I'm back on that carriage to Helgen and my head is on the chopping block, I see those crimson eyes and I watch that sky turn dark. I watched the sky fall before me, I watched fire burn to a crisp and I watched everything fall apart.

I...I've survived this long because I followed orders. I followed Hadvar out of that mess, out of the fire of death and destruction and I went to Riverwood. I went to Whiterun and I told the Jarl. I helped the Jarl.

I FOLLOWED ORDERS

And...I...the day I didn't I died.

I'm dead.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry...

I don't know how I'm even walking in this method of madness.

I have to follow Mercer. He's telling me what to do because I'll survive. I'll survive for sure.

I don't need to but I wanted...

Perhaps I'm better off being alone.

**STOP TOUCHING ME!**

I'm sorry I'm yelling again. I don't need you touching my shoulder friend... There is a method in this madness. I still feel those scars, that burn

THEY BURN

WHY

I...I...think I'll be okay. Just need to keep following orders. I needed that rant. But I still feel...

Disgusted, wrong...why...did he have to be so rough? Just the very image strikes me. But I have to remain focused.

I didn't want to die. No. Then again, it'd nice wouldn't it? Dragonborn my ass...no way. What a pathetic story. I'm hallucinating. Just another whimsical joke from a Daedric Prince I'd guess, You'd believe it to. The very bile they spat on me.

Suddenly its cold. No Mercer's behind me again isn't he? Yeah, slay that Draugr. It's head belonging on a pike! DO IT!

Obey orders friend and you'll live. But I think we're coming to a part that I can...yes, you're certainly right. More Draugr. I have my bow. My trusty, Dwarven Bow. I could have killed Mercer but I'd be disobeying him now wouldn't I? He'd do it again for sure.

I took aim, pulled the bowstring back, fired the arrow, hit a target.

It come a repeated method of mine. So trusty. Uh oh, another Draugr.

**I took aim, pulled the bowstring back, fired the arrow, hit a target.**

My mind was in a blur, entranced, that every motion felt rehearsed and I felt unstoppable. But I couldn't feel anything.

**I took aim, pulled the bowstring back, fired the arrow, hit a target.**

My arms waved around, my body moved around. I knew what I was doing but I had no idea what was happening.

**I took aim, pulled the bowstring back, fired the arrow, hit a target.**

So rehearsed, the shouts, the screams, the roars. My mouth had been tight shut. A power snapped together but too much was clouded, unseen...

**I took aim, pulled the bowstring back, fired the arrow, hit a target.**

No more tears were shed. Tears had disappeared. But I found no reason to cry.

**I took aim, pulled the bowstring back, fired the arrow, hit a target.**

No reason but to fight my way through. This was my job. Mercer ordered me to.

I...took...aim...pulled the bowstring back, fired the arrow...fired again. Defeated the target.

Not sure who I am anymore. Draugr are disgusting aren't they?

Were in the final midst of this chaos. There was one of those 'infamous Nordic puzzle doors' as Mercer called it that he picked through like it was nothing. Like a gentleman, he let me go first.

You know, regardless of what happened when the sound of arrow being flung is shot in my direction, the same exact feeling of numbness was afoot. I'd lay there, motionless yet again. Not that I was ordered to...I just couldn't move. It was okay. Mercer would take care of it.

I heard him talk with a raspy voiced woman. I had little vision from where I was. It was hard to make out on what they were saying, I wasn't concentrating. Mercer would deal with it soon enough. Had to be Karliah, couldn't be anyone else. Mercer would just take her down and we'd been back on our way.

But...she fled. She disappeared. Mercer couldn't see her. He's going to be furious.

He comes over to me. I've disappointed him. He's saying something to me but I can't hear him, my focus was lost. I'd witnessed him stabbing me though. He did it for reason. What ever reason it was it had to be a good one. He couldn't violate me anymore than he did earlier.

Thank the Gods I couldn't feel it...I embraced the darkness that welcomed me. Welcome home Petra.


	20. Awakening

**Thanks guys for your reviews. I'm glad you guys really hate Mercer right now. Man has no shame. Never liked him...but I always wondered the real reason behind what he did? Hm...maybe we'll find out? In the mean time, enjoy the first chapter from Karliah's perspective! **

**Chapter 20  
Awakening.**

Mercer will pay for what he's done to this poor girl. Amongst other things.

I've been hiding for twenty five years and been perfecting a poison that would have struck his heart. Then I'd bring him amongst the fury of the Guild and would show them what he's done.

It's been difficult, but the shadows still welcomed me after everything. After all these years.

The girl was alive, but when she'd gotten up, woozy from the paralytic poison I'd been preparing for about a year, I could see straight through her. She was breathing but dead inside. I could see her wounds, both physically and emotionally.

Oh Mercer, _what have you done_?

I know in the past he's had his past exploits but this definitely crossed the line. I'd never been more angrier since...

He'd killed Gallus...

I can't say too much now. But the girl...I've seen this. He's done it before. The same look, the same apathetic response to reality. She was in a terrible state. I'd stitched her up from her wounds while she was unconscious. The hard part was carrying her body out. I could be more annoyed. I've laid out this brilliant plan to get him here. It'd cost me time and septims to get it this far. My fullest intention was to trap Mercer, but I'd underestimated him greatly.

I should have known that he was smart enough to drag another poor soul into the picture. And he's done more than stolen a life, but now he's stolen a spirit. It was going too far.

I sat her down and got her something to eat. She was hesitant to talk to me. The only question she'd ask was:

"Where's Mercer?" I hadn't the heart to tell her. She appeared so broken, shivering. I'd seen this happen before but not like this.

She was refusing to eat at first, but I tried to encourage her to do so. Her hand was shaking, not from the cold but...this had torn her up so badly. I felt sorry for her.

All I could tell was that she was from the Guild, also judging that she was with Mercer and the obvious fact she was wearing the Guild Armour. I was trying to figure out why Mercer had taken her of all people. I know in the past, while me...while Gallus...and Mercer were the original trio of professional thieves, that Mercer had once had the gift with women. But more often than not, we'd see him hitting on pretty girls who resisted his charms and just found him more repulsive. There was a moment that just twisted him into the dredge that he became that...forced him to murder Gallus and to use every trick in the book to frame me.

Yes I was framed.

For many years I've in the dark to speak with few. I covered my tracks well and was very careful of who I spoke to. Some days I'd wander into Riften, but never dared to cross anyone I saw from the Guild. Especially Maven.

Recalling that though, there was a day where I had seen one of them, a red-haired Nord selling junk to the public. He was from the Guild, no doubt about it. I remained unseen in the shadows nearby, watching events unfold.

The girl he spoke with...the girl in the torn yellow dress and bony face. I looked at the girl next to me. It couldn't be...

Mercer couldn't have known what I was up to. I'd worked this out to a better extent than anything I'd ever planned. Or, he knew my tricks. We'd spent so much time together in the past that it was obvious he'd have an idea of what I was trying to do. I'd only spoken with Gulum-Ei and he'd followed his orders to the letter. At first I'd assumed Mercer would be doing all the work. He'd faked his love for the Guild so much and I was so sure that he'd want his revenge for forcing his group to lose a lot of gold. Oh only if he knew the irony of the situation.

What I didn't expect was that he was getting someone to suss it out for him. Sneaky. I lacked foresight in that. When I spoke with Gulum-Ei he apologised to me and begged for my forgiveness when he told me that he revealed that I was the buyer of Goldenglow and the rest of the events that unfolded.

I couldn't tell him I was using him as a relay. To force Mercer to go back where it all began so I could finally get to the end of this ridiculous game.

I'd then asked Gulum-Ei was it Mercer, but he said no. It was a Nord woman, light brown hair in a pony tail and to him had pretty light blue eyes.

No doubt that this girl was the one who talked to him.

Mercer, Mercer, Mercer. I couldn't hate you more. Forcing this poor girl under your spell.

Then again, she would have been quite skilled in it at least. The Guild fairs poorly due to reasons I will reveal eventually but she was doing pretty well for herself. Perhaps that was the reason why Mercer had a lustful desire for her. He always did. I'd normally always warn any female guild member to avoid him as much as possibly and I was a fool not to see it in time. I may be too late.

I still had to get Gallus' journal translated. I found his remains, (shadows preserve his soul) and interred them. But I had no idea how I was going to do it.

I looked at the girl. She was looking into space, barely eaten any of the bread I gave her.

I knelt down before her. Her eyes darted to mine. I hadn't much time to spare and I needed her on feet. The more time we wasted, the more Mercer was able to get away. But I couldn't leave her like this and I really needed her help.

"What's your name?" I asked her. It was a start.

I put her my hand on hers and she shirked it back in response. This wasn't going to work.

"I know you probably won't like mine. You have heard it a few times. I don't know how you'll react, but, my name is Karliah. I'm not out to kill you. I'm here to help."

Suddenly her entire composure changed to something furious and out for blood. She jumped out at me and tried to choke me, but I dodged at that moment, watching her fall to the ground.

Damn it. I tried sitting her back up. I dusted her off and let her look at me again. Tears started running down her face.

I don't know how to do this. I had my own problems to deal with. But I wanted revenge more than ever. I remained vigilant and I wasn't a big prick like Mercer.

"I am not your enemy. If I was, I promise you, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

She looked up at me again with hazy, dead eyes. I think she was taking that logic, I wasn't sure though.

She managed to stand up on her own two feet, a bit wobbly though. I made sure to watch if she'd fall over, but she was doing well for herself after all.

"Sorry. ...I don't...I can't..." She choked. I walked around and patted her on the back.

"You should be directing any anger at Mercer. He's manipulated you...and the Guild."

She nodded. Good. She understood.

She was stronger than she looked. I'd wager it'd take anyone a long time to get over anything. I mean, I have been trying to get back at Mercer for the last twenty-five years. I've just been patient and cautious. But even now with Mercer gone, he doesn't know that I have proof. Possibly proof of his deceptions and...inexcusable actions.

"Petra..." She muttered.

I had to do a double take.

"My name is Petra."

I nodded. Good. I'm glad she wasn't trying to kill me. Though the more pain she had the more easy to see she was outright torn apart. She was standing still, which was a good sign.

"Nice to meet you Petra. Now, I need you to focus..."

She nodded. Her eyes, dreary, were slowly going back to life. I've never seen such a fast recovery. Sort of. A lot of Mercer's victims took ages to unwind back to their old selves, but still had the scars to show it.

"I can do that." She told me. Her voice, though weak, was genuine. She'd stood up straight, as if awaiting orders.

"I'm trying to get this book translated. It'll be our key, our evidence to get back at Mercer. Are you still with me?"

I'd noticed her shiver at the mere name of Mercer. But she nodded with a hint of strength.

"Translation? Would anyone at the College of Winterhold be able to help out? I know they're the sort to maybe know or..." She muttered out.

Insightful but unknowing. But! I recalled Enthir, a high elf stationed at the College. He was a friend of Gallus as I remember. I smiled.

"Of course! Yes. He should be able to help us. Let's take this journal there and see what we can find. I suggest you come along."

She took a deep breath. I was hoping somewhere in that perplexed mind of hers that she was thinking about it. I really wanted to keep an eye on her. But she nodded. I'd found her horse nearby, surprisingly still alive. After Mercer had killed my horse, her horse was smart enough to stay away,

"I'll come with you. Just tell me what to do."

Thank Nocturnal for letting me have another chance.


	21. Revelations

**AN: I'll be forming a line for those wanting to hug Bryn after you finish reading this. Read on.**

**Chapter 21 Revelations**

I'd never saw myself even going up the 7,000 steps to visit the Greybeards in their precious monastery. Could be an eye opener for all I believed. You'd look out to the rest of the province and be amazed. Sadly I never had the time or interest to do anything

When you're like me, you're oblivious to everything that's not someone moving in here with valuable loot to take or if it's just business related. If the War had some benefit to us I'd know. I mean, who was thick enough to not know there wasn't a war going on? But for myths, legends and all that stuff, I wasn't entirely interested in it. Dragons were just a huge slap on the face for just about everybody. And we'd somehow got caught in it.

It wasn't Petra's fault. She was trying to get away from it like everyone else. Who is prepared for a dragon attack after all these years?

It was then I tried to catch up on lost reading, shuffling through dozens of books, about the Dragon War and the infamous Alduin the World-Eater. I'd been sitting in the Flagon reading all about it. One of the books had a drawing of the monster. Big, black, spiky. Petra had mentioned that to me once before. A creature so powerful, it drove men to fear. The worst was the, perhaps just myth, that it'd go to Sovngarde to feast on the souls of the dead. A load of poppycock.

But I can see why Petra spoke it of it with such dread. It was Alduin she'd met in Helgen, the fire that destroyed the town from the flames from revered deity. Yet, she'd met with this destiny of hers that calls for her to take it down. What kind of sick joke was this?

I'd sooner believed my own words that yes, she had her own power and that in given time, she would indeed be ready to take him down as was foretold. We can only guide though. No one knows what is truly in store for her and that the journey would take's its path in the given approach. That might have been why the Greybeards had called her. They'd guided Dragonborn in the past. They would take care of her, hone her abilities and skills and get her to believe far more than anyone else. But she was stuck in the Guild and it was holding her back.

I can understand her wanting to ignore it. It's not up to anyone, including Mercer, to decide. Mercer would never believe the stories either but we'd have to take chance to find out what it all meant and to see if Petra was capable of doing this. Especially on her own.

I wanted to let her know, I wanted to stress so much that she could got all the help she needed.

Her attitude had slightly developed...or even greatly developed since I met her. Once this fragile, frustrated little thing now was a lot stronger. She's so good at what she does...aye, I think, she could do more. Heh, a lot more.

The Guild could be back it's feet in no time. Those two were just...the best the Guild had offered in years. So much good news had come in lately and I'd been enjoying the success. I think everyone was.

Though, my eyes flung to a door slamming, with an angry Mercer storming through the flagon with fire and hate in his eyes. I looked around. Where was Petra?

I got out of my chair and followed Mercer back into the Cistern.

* * *

He was awfully quiet, but had the fury in his heart. Something had happened.

"What happened with Karliah? Where did Petra go?" I questioned with haste. I'd assumed Petra was elsewhere and would be down shortly, but the sight of Mercer's scowl drove daggers to my gut.

Mercer was back at his desk, grabbing a few things, paper work and shoving them into a bag. Definitely in a hurry.

"Petra's dead." He spoke bluntly.

I had to double check.

"I'm sorry, did you say she was dead?" I asked him again, not really taking in what he was saying.

"Karliah got to her. It's okay, I managed to track wind of her and I'm just getting my things to chase her down. I'll get that bitch if it's the last thing I do." Mercer revealed.

I went silent. No. Petra promised she would be okay. No...no I promised Petra, that Mercer would take care of her. I swallowed hard...and became a little angry.

"By the Eight, you left her body there?" I called out to him, trying to get his attention as I leaned over his desk demanding answers.

"Bryn it was either I get her body and risk an arrow to the neck or I get out of there as fast I could and get vengeance on the dunmer. She will pay."

For some reason his voice was different, and was completely emotionless. My own head was spinning around with disbelief. My heart wrenched and ached as I curled my fist. How could Mercer be so careless as to let one of his best and brightest die like that?

"But...she couldn't..."

"Believe it or not...but feel free to grab her corpse while's it's still fresh. A shame we couldn't kiss her goodbye. Damn shame...I liked the girl." Mercer mentioned. There was a lot of venom in his tone that swelled me up inside.

"But for now, I'm off. Don't bother following me, I'm a lot faster on my own. If you want to give the girl a decent burial, get your ass up there quick. And lock down the Cistern. While I might be following Karliah elsewhere, she may give me the slip again and head straight here. Don't let her get passed you...and you have my permission to kill her."

I nodded. My head hadn't caught the draught of the wind yet.

"Affirmative. I'll warn everyone to get ready." I replied.

Mercer grumbled, grabbed his stuff and left the cistern.

While I was left there, staring off into deep space, caught in the oncoming brush of hurt.

* * *

I didn't know what to feel. Anger, sadness...a combination of the two. My heart just...didn't want her dead. It wanted to believe so badly that she was alive. That she lingered on. But...

My head was telling me that this was it. The end was still in sight and the Guild could still get back up but...

Without it's best to show an example, it may fall into disrepair...the Guild would miss her.

I...would miss her.

I realised the colour had gone from my face as I suddenly felt cold, a sign of hopelessness. But if I was going to do anything, I had to get everyone prepped for caution of the highest priority. I did the run arounds, letting everyone know what was going on. I'd gone to the Flagon to let them know, and one question was on everyone's lips...

"What happened to that sweet heart Petra?" Delvin questioned.

My heart had been torn in two and I tried to hide it. Tonilia took one look at me and knew. Lass usually catches onto these things quicker than most. But she still had to ask as I stood there, my arms drooped to their sides.

"Bryn, what happened?" She questioned as she sat stood up before me.

I bit my lip.

"She's...she's dead." I spoke with such sorrow. I don't normally cry and I was one of the strongest to hold back tears. I was doing well so far, but like Petra, I need to concentrate to ensure that we give back what she gave to the Guild and it's pride. It was the least we could do.

Vex browed, she was always the sceptic. Sometimes you need a sceptic, it's healthy, but I just had to face facts. I hated it.

"Bullshit. You're kidding." Vex blurted out, shooting up from where she was sitting.

"What the..."

I looked down at the ground with hands on my hips, unable to face any of them.

"Karliah got to her. Now...now I need to go find her body. Mercers going to find her and...he needs everyone to be on guard. She may attempt to come here. And we have permission to kill her if she does."

I almost jumped as Delvin placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Go get her Bryn. We'll keep watch. Bring her back at any cost." He told me. I nodded.

I shook hands with him and thanked the man.

"That goes for everyone. The whole cistern is lock down. Be ready for anything."

I'd left the Flagon with a heavy heart but determined to seek out Petra...and what was left her. I took most of my strength to push through. I didn't have time to pour the tears out. No. I had someone to find.

I took my black and white spotted horse, Lucky, and fled off to the north.

* * *

I still felt, deep down a twisted misgiving. Guilt. I wanted to say sorry to Petra. And that she could have done so much more. I wanted to help her, my own heart wept at the very thought of it. I paid no mind to what ever nonsense was going on around me. It was in an instant into the trip that I dwelt on everything.

I believe that why I was refusing to accept it, comes from the fact that...it's most likely given that she's Dragonborn...and despite how I'm not preordained to any type of religion. I go to no service, no alms, speak with no priest or take part in any fancy, pointless rituals. But the Gods. Why would the Gods give anything...they should have known. If they'd known she was going to die they wouldn't have given her the gift in the first place.

That's just my own two septims about it. Aye, Maybe Karliah controlled the arrows of fate and could subside anything. Okay, now I really am talking out my ass here once again. I just don't know what to do.

I could bring her body back. I could give her a traditional nord funeral and hoped Shor finds her worthy enough...no, Shor should find her worthy enough to feast in the blessed halls of Sovngarde. I'd reckon she'd enjoy that.

If you're up there Petra...I...I...I'm sorry. I wanted to take you to the Greybeards...and I wanted to take you around Skyrim. We could have gone on so many adventures. Find things that man hasn't found in centures or even in many millennia. I..

My heart just couldn't take the very thought of her not being here any more. It just kept telling me over and over that she was still alive out there somewhere. I wanted to cling onto that notion so badly, but I had to tell myself she was dead. It was a constant fight between was right, and was easier for me to handle. My own pride had taken a beating.

My throat was sore from tightness, due to the despaired crisis I was having. I thought I was pulling through fine and I would be willing to do what it took. I'd arrived there, seeing blood still fresh on the snow. Something wasn't right here and my gut knew it.

I'd gone into the Sanctum from above, seeing the door still open and entered. I'd wandered around, seeing bodies of the Draugr with arrows in their heads. I'd wager a lot of them were from Petra due to their exceedingly sharp and scary accuracy. Each of them looked to have it square between the eyes. She was always such a good shot.

Still, I had to be cautious. From what Mercer told me, Karliah was off somewhere. But she could also still be hiding elsewhere in the depths of this forsaken tomb. But I just keep seeing dead draugr everywhere I went...full of such death and destruction. By Shor if only I was here.

I'd had total faith that neither Mercer or Petra would taken down by mere Draugr. She may have underestimated the power of the Dark Elf. It made me so angry yet confused at the same time.

I'd then come across one of the word walls I'd read so much about. It felt magically strange enough.

This must have been what Petra had mentioned to me as well. The part where she had visited some ancient tomb at one point and found something in the dragon language.

For what ever reason prompted me to do so, I ran my hands on the smooth rock wall and dragged my finger tips over the carvings. If I were to take a guess, it would need her essence to allow to absorb it...somehow. I don't know. This was part of what still got me befuddled on to the whole dragonborn tripe. It would have known she'd have to come here at one stage and no way would it have been the last to seek out. I also wanted to...as silly and stupid as it seemed, just to be where she would have stood.

The Dragonborn was guided and sent out of a quite noble path and the books I had read suggested there were several of these Word Walls scattered across Skyrim. And, another guess here, is that Petra had encountered so few...surely.

The battle between my head and my heart became violent. All this made no sense to me. To just die like that...it was inconceivable and I'd refused to believe it. But I would have no idea why Mercer would lie to me about it.

The more I thought about it, the more it seemed that more was going on here than a little skirmish between a Nord, a Breton and Dunmer.

I'd found the main chamber and took a deep breath.

I looked around...dark, dank. Some blood in the corner but absolutely no bodies to be found. I was certain this would have at least been the end of it. I went over to the corner where I found a trickle of blood. It must have been quite the fight. If only I'd been there I could have saved her.

I could...I could have just...ugh...why was this so hard to wrap my head around? I'd...I was such a mess.

I stood back and rubbed my eyes. Where was her body? I...

I felt lost.

I...I'd...

I had to sit down and collect my thoughts. I dragged my fingers through my hair, contemplating everything that had all rammed at me at once. The silence was almost deafening but...I heard no ghosts...no subtle breeze. Death had not taken place in this chamber...how did I know that?

Why was my heart trying to deceive me? Perhaps...I was...

As a Thief, we're most inquisitive and have to predict the actions of people. You have to know how they work or else you'll end up in prison, or worse. But right now I couldn't even read myself. My judgement was being clouded by sorrow, being a source of my muddiness. But was there something else there? Was it what Vex and Delvin and the others were getting at? Were they reading me perfectly clear without me having to say a word?

They understood me more than I understood myself. I never worried too much about myself. I was a mostly stable lad and in some ways, still am. But this drove me deep into the darkest corners of a place I'd never found myself visiting. I'd never really been THAT close to someone before, maybe that was the reason?

Petra...meant so much to me...I uhhh I mean, so much to the Guild...yeah...the Guild.

Ugh...her body wasn't here though. My heart instantly jumped on the chance and the hope she may have been still alive. Common sense was the one deceiving me and it was becoming clear that my heart may have been correct.

I clenched and unclenched my fist. Petra...are...are you alive out there? Please...I...

I don't know what I'd do without you...

I got up and took another deep breath. I'll be fine eventually. But I couldn't do much now without a body to bury. No so much as a piece of clothing or something of her to remember her by. Yet again, my heart jumped at the conclusion she could have been out there somewhere. But for now, I'd have to go back to Riften and defend the Flagon at all costs.

I just want to thank you already... please come home safe.


	22. Translation

**Short chappy again but yeah. Another from Karliah.**

**Chapter 22  
Translation**

We'd made it to Winterhold in one piece, Petra and I. She was doing better than I thought. I knew what Mercer did to people sometimes they never really come out the same, but she was just interesting to see how she coped. Though she could also be masking it very well. I don't know her enough at this point to make that kind of decision. But as long as she listens and understands and takes note of her surroundings. I think she'll be okay.

We met up with Enthir and was surprised I was still alive. Not behest of my intentions to meet him myself but I had to make do, plus I didn't think Petra would be able to going along alone. I felt inclined to take care of her and ensure nothing would happen to her. No reason why I had to. Common decency I suppose.

Enthir took one look at Gallus' journal and recognised it at the Falmer Language and that only a few people actually translate it. Typical of Gallus, he'd always been the sort to utilise the most complicated of texts just to keep a secret. He probably saw this coming. He always had this uncanny foresight that I loved. One time we were out on a job in some derelict ruin. We were on the edge of a large cavern. He'd stood behind me and made a warning for me to get back a little bit. Sweetheart was always worried about me. I'd turned away and walked off, when all of a sudden an earthquake shook the ruin and a huge boulder had hit where I was standing. I was amazed that he knew that was going to happen.

Enthir then made the suggestion of speaking with Calcelmo, a reclusive researcher and expert on the dwemer. He...may not have been greatly helpful but said Gallus had gone there previously on certain expeditions for his own research. Typical of Gallus.

I spoke with Petra with the plan to head to Markarth. She looked at me. Her eyes were still dead to the world but she was conscious at least. I needed her focused and prepared. I told her to go find out what she could and come back here with the information. I was...a little worried about what she would do on her own. I wanted to come with her but I couldn't risk being seen out in the open, with Mercer either on the hunt for something or what ever was worse. He'd do it.

She reacted at least with the instructions. While emotionally void, she took this with intent and was going to get this done. Her face was hard to read, but it was tired, like mine. I'm tired of all this myself, but I know...I just know it can be done. And I had reason to believe that Petra wanted to do the right thing. She would have had the faith in the Guild. Faith in herself and that Mercer was just a blemish in her life. In all our lives.

She'd left without a fuss, on her horse and made the long trek to Markarth. Shadows preserve her.


	23. Transcripts

Chapter 23. Transcripts

I'm...I'm back friend.

Apologies for my crude behaviour. I didn't know where I was and in some ways, I still don't.

But, I'd come to trust Karliah a lot quicker than I ever...did...with...Mercer.

Uh, but yeah. Karliah didn't seem as bad as...she was made out to be. She seemed sweet, with those amethyst eyes of her. So pretty for a dunmer.

Don't know if it's me being foolish or not but just her aura was just; Welcoming. Kind. And she too wanted vengeance like me. I may not appear or maybe even feel the burn within, it was in my power and task to take care of it.

I will never forget what he did...the way...he..

Never mind. I had to keep my eyes on the prize. I was entrusted with a job like any other and be damned if I was going to get it done! But wary I'll drop in and out at times as you can see here. I'll manage...just don't mention it too often. I'll fall into same mantra trap again if I'm not careful.

I rushed to Markarth to speak with Calcelmo. I may have helped him out once before. Just a spider issue. Big spider issue that turned out to be more interesting, I found out.

So I got into his good books after that and he gave me a key to his museum. Thanks...I guess?

I got to Markarth that night and spoke with him and he still refused me. Even if I did help him.

Oh well. I was still going to get answers irregardless. Even if I did have to...trespass...hah. It's part of the job of course!

So I went to his so called Dwemer Museum...looked around. Unlocked some room after I'd found a Stone of Barenziah. I'll have to give that to Vex...but onwards...

I'd navigated myself through parts unknown...used a wand to get a dwemer spider to kill a guard. Cool. I slithered past a lot them, reminding myself I was still good at my job. Found an interesting Dwemer Cube as well. I'd forgotten about the boat I still had. Still maybe worth a bit to Delvin? Eh.

At the end of my sneaking I found a tablet inscribed with Falmer nonsense. I found charcoal and paper and just etched it on the paper as much as I could. I'd finished and was about to get out, when Calcelmos Nephew Aicantar brought in a few guards. He knew someone was sneaking around. Dang. Could have been when I was getting the cube. Woops. My Kleptomania was probably taking hold of me at the wrong moment.

But I made it out fine. I'd taken a thrilling shortcut...jumped down the waterfall, amazed I surivived...though I did see a skeleton there. Euch...but no matter. I had what I came for and rushed back to Winterhold as fast as I could.

I arrived back at the Tavern, with Karliah and Enthir sussing out details. I think I may have heard a sigh of relief there. Dunmer must've been worried. Seriously, just because of what happened you'd think I...would...be...

Sorry...anyway, I watched the two as I gave them the inscriptions. Enthir seemed perplexed on how I got it, but didn't ask any questions.

"It was quite the tale." I told him.

He nodded and went to work on the translations.

While he did that, I sat down quietly on a nearby barrel. We were at the bottom of the local tavern and it was just the sweet silence and darkness that we all could fit in easily. I often wondered what Brynjolf would be doing.

I don't know...what...Mer...Mer...

"Petra?"

I realised I'd been looking down and spaced out as Karliah looked at me as stood against the wooden pole. Probably just was out of it. I'll admit I was...and still am.

"I still need you with me here." She called out.

Sometimes I just wanted to know why people bothered to care about that. I mean, I have been through a lot. That's a fact. No doubts. But Brynjolf and Karliah. They could see me underneath what ever exterior I had. Tough, sad...what ever was going on in my mind they'd snap me back to reality.

I do go off in those bits of...what ever you call it. Spacing out? I said there before. Yeah...that.

It's just that one thought lead to another and it just got all conjoined and messy and my mind clung onto the worst things it could and images would just keep flashing by that I'd fall into the darkness once more.

They'd bring me out each time and I wanted to know why. They had no real reason to do so. Brynjolf may have cared but after hearing what Mer- said...I...

I turned around, not wanting to face Karliah. I didn't want her to bare to see me and to worry about me. I was happy to wait, but I'd fall into that trap again of ugliness. And I'd feel things that weren't possible to feel. Like the ghost touch of Mercers fingers-

I scrunched my eyes. No...while they may bring me back I need to bring myself back on my own. I can't depend on them forever. They are very kind in doing so...but this was going to get harder.

I heard Enthir talk about Mer-...I heard him talking about how he'd been stealing from the Guild for months. And no body knew about this? What about Brynjolf? What...

"Anything else Enthir? Anything about...the Nightingales?" Karliah queried.

"Hmm. Yes, here it is. The last few pages seem to describe "the failure of the Nightingales" although it doesn't go into great detail. Gallus also repeatedly mentions his strong belief that Mercer desecrated something known as the Twilight Sepulcher." Enthir explained.

Karliah seemed utterly shocked and surprised by the mere mention of it. I kept hearing the word Nightingales quite enough times to notice that it obviously had significance about it. She thanked Enthir and turned to me.

I questioned what this all meant, but the only thing she cold mention was the Daedric Prince Nocturnal and her influence to the Twilight Sepulcher. It made no real sense to me, but she'd assured me that I'd understand in future and at this stage she was sworn to secrecy about it.

I sighed and left it at that. As long as I'd figure out what was going on, I'd feel better about...decimating...

Enthir talked with me as well, and lent his services a fence. That was thanks enough for helping us out. But it was good to have someone else on board.

So we were about to leave when Karliah presented me with a blade. I'd looked it. It shone like silver and a bird like symbol and felt like a weapon true to the night.

"It belonged to Gallus, but given the circumstances I think he'd approve."

"I'll put it to good use." I mentioned, though puzzled as to why she gave it to me.

I think Karliah trusted me a lot more after that. The only one besides Enthir of course, she could trust. I'd wager what ever went on before I arrived at the Guild had been quite severe.

The whole saga, while fascinating, was very disturbing as well. I know...I know at some stage we'd have to face him...and I didn't know if I could.

We made the trail back to Riften.

Thanks Karliah, for believing in me.


	24. Fire

**AN: Grab some tissues...this is going to get messy.**

**Chapter 24**

**Fire**

We'd made it back safe and sound, though I could detect a air of hostility all around me. Or maybe it was just aimed at Karliah. I'd keep forgetting that everyone still hated her at the moment. Woops. But yeah, she deserved a lot more than this and I'd stick by her. I was still in her debt for her saving my life. Somewhat. Didn't know it had to be saved but otherwise...

I'd wager the Guild itself would have been informed that Karliah had gotten away. M- would have told everybody she'd gone rampant and at least tried to kill everyone. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The Dunmer was not even remotely like she was in...the descriptions. She was just playing a hard game that had been done for decades and I prayed that it was near it's end. I was envious of her confidence and ability to believe.

Guards were more cautious if anything, eying us off. I watched Karliah stride with security in her spirit. I wish I could aspire to brave like her. The world hated her and still she pulled through and got the results...well, sort of got the results she wanted. I admire her tenacity.

She was in a relationship with Gallus prior to his death, as I discovered. She partially blamed herself for it, as being with her allowed him to let his guard down. No. M...Me... uh Gallus sounded like a good person if anything else. Smart, talented...he was the previous Guild Master after all and you don't get to that position lightly without having some accountable amount of experience and the best stories to match.

I also understood that she had her secrets. We all did. As long as they weren't going to hurt anyone of course. But she did say that it would be revealed so I took comfort, what ever there was, in that. So I never pushed the subject to her.

We'd walked to go to the stairs to get down the canal when, a sound, distant but distinct, couldn't have arrived at the worst possible moment.

Why now...seriously. NO MORE DRAGONS IN THE RIFT.

Karliah stopped in her tracks as she heard it as well. I looked at her as she honed her ears in on it. The Guards around us started to question the noise too. I wanted to move but couldn't.

"Can you hear that?" She asked me.

I'd forgotten she didn't know about my Phobia. So here I was about to be catatonic and absolutely worthless yet again...

I tried to be responsible for my actions this time. The roars got louder.

"Karliah, get me out of here." I muttered to her.

"Why?" She wondered.

Could she not see the fear in my face and utter contempt?

"Because...I don't like what comes next. Please get me out of here."

She looked down, confused.

"A Dragon is nearby. I need to take it down. Can't risk Riften burning down. Are you not able to walk yourself down to the Ratway?"

**No.**

I'd given her a look to just spell it out to her. She interpreted it well with a nod, when the Dragon just dropped in out of nowhere and decided to plant itself on top of the Orphanage.

_Great..._

I gulped. I instantly froze. Too late now. Karliah was forced to drag me elsewhere. I got a glimpse of the beast. Green one. Ugly as a skeever. I hated it. She ran off with me to help me hide somewhere.

Fair enough. I'm glad she got the picture eventually.

She took me to the secret entrance to the cistern, but it had been locked. Yup. Had a feeling that'd happen. She wandered around with me and as much as I didn't want her to just deal with this on her own. But there was nothing I could do. And I absolutely hated it. Loathed it.

She eventually took me down into the Hall of the Dead, the closest thing that was considered safe, despite being amongst dead bodies. No matter. She nodded to me and ordered me to stay here, which I took gladly. I'd want to compare myself in time to make sure I learn from previous mistakes. Though she'd left me there to take the dragon on, while I selfishly sat here against the wall and my knees close to my chest. I tried so hard to ignore it, but the shouts of the dragon were loud enough to pierce through and send a tendril of anguish into my core. I buried my head between my knees and started to shake. I prayed to what ever God was going to listen to me. Arkay, since I was here in the hall...or Mara from above...maybe Akatosh.

I'd rather curse him for what ever stupid idea he had in his head to make me Dragonborn. This was pathetic. I was being pathetic and I was a massive coward. Horrendous. The Gods played their tricks more so that Daedric Princes did. But, at least the Princes were up front about it. The Gods barely played their roles throughout our mortal lives.

I'd been paranoid about this for months but my head would just spin, I'd feel faint, my heart would triple it's beating and have hot and cold flushes. I could barely breath. Out comes the stupid phobia of mine. The more I thought about it, the more I hated myself for not at least trying to deal with it. I'd talk and state that perhaps one day I would be better than I what I am because I am better than this. Feeling sick all the time wasn't going to cut it. I wasn't going to let the world end on my watch.

I continued to tremble and shudder, twitching every single time I heard screams from above. The smell of burnt wood came from above as well. No...please no... I held my head and muttered to myself over and over again for it stop. Oh Gods please stop...stop. Stop...STOP!

I took a deep breath. They won't be able to take care of the dragon permanently, nor were any one of them aware of what it could do. What it could truly do. The very images burned into my memories and lingered there to taunt me to this very day.

I was in constant agony and in rage towards myself. I'd been buried here while I could be out there doing what I was supposed to. I was safe here...so safe...I would be fine until I'd met the urns of the dead from above eventually.

I'd been crying for the past several minutes. The tears never stopped falling. I...I can't help it. This is just making me sick and twisted and in constant pain of knowing. The entire conflict was my own self control verses natural reactions. I had to fight myself to fight the dragons. And the entirety of the battles were always on the verge of just pure fury.

I needed that fury, when I saved Brynjolf from a dragon previously. I'd gotten the nerve to destroy it, to stab it repeatedly when I saw he was in danger. I may have needed the inspiration and the calling of my blood to defeat it. It forced me to put everything aside for Bryn's sake and make sure that the beast was just gone. I had to redirect my fear into total hatred that I could use. Or some kind of other feeling that compelled me to slay it. I needed it once again. Badly.

I still couldn't move and I was trying every angle to force me to go up there. I didn't want to, believe me, but I had to get over that if anything was gonna happen. More screams...more pain...more tears.

Come on Petra! Get into it..._seek_ it...you know you can.

Another breath taken. Good. I slowly but surely, crawled towards the door. It took everything I had to even open it. I whimpered but...I could look at this at a different perspective. It was an idea I'd wrap my head around but for now...I had to get out of this dark place of death and into the inferno...

By the time I crawled up the steps, I could see the Riften in its own hellish oblivion. The screams...were just...were just like...Helgen...

Helgen. Again.

No.

Not that dredge, that piece of horrifying sulfur and brimstone. GET IT AWAY!

I still had my bow and the Nightingale blade that Karliah gave me. I watched the dragon and instantly halted as it flew by, shaking the earth below me. The heat, the air, the suffocation. I stood there, frozen to the world as it watched it fall around me.

There was a wall of magical and terrifying flames, arrows flying around me, bodies burning to a crisp. I held myself with my eyes wide and heart torn. I wallowed in this rushed up grave and pile of ashes. I...I just needed to come to terms.

I was in great pain as I fell to the ground. No...I've made a terrible mistake and I...

I saw Karliah aiming high, a fierce expression on her face and power undeniable in the midst of the inflamed chaos. Her arrows, straight and true. I had to have that. That structure, that form, that stance...it was perfect and in the face of uncertain odds.

If I could achieve that...what I could do with it...

The Dragon itself was more problematic. Every shout and roar gave me flushes and chills. If only...I could...

It flew back down, shouting flames at the dunmer who fled behind the wall with such grace and poise.

I had to stop living in the process of could and telling myself that not only I should but that I will. I got up on my feet and took one step forward...

The well of emotions inside me were in constant flux but I made certain my eyes focused on the dragon itself. It stomped, sending waves through the ground while whacking guards with it's tail. I stopped, desperately wanting to go back to the hall. I didn't want anyone else down there. Not today.

A struggle for the dominant and superior emotive state was at war. Still at war. Forever fighting to seek reason and discover the means to combat a sickness. Yes. I treated it as a sickness. It wasn't normal for someone like me to be frightened of the creature. No...

They should be scared of me. I should be in their nightmares and I should be the one filling their cold, merciless hearts with so much dread that they fled at the very sight of me. I consumed their souls. I feed on their essence. That's who I am. That's who I should be. Not this pitiful excuse for a Nord. No.

Yet I shuddered at their mere mention. Why was this an issue? Because the World-Eater brought the pain that fateful day. The might of god like product of himself. His spirit and being written in the legends to consume the world.

He'd stare at me, my head on the chopping block. I'd die...either way.

My eyes widened.

No...I would have died.

Fate declared that day I wasn't to perish. I'd been wronged and horridly misunderstood that day. Captured without warning or mercy. The mortals around me, held that power that most would be afraid of. But not...

The sky was on fire, as the flame poured down from above, burning everything it touched.  
This was Riften. My town. My people. People I got to know.

But my head wasn't on the chopping block. Death was not welcoming me this day. I wasn't being punished but I was being tested. This Dragon...is but a mere obstacle. And while you may consider me a terrible person for thinking that while everyone else dies around me...like at Helgen but now...I know. I know this is the time to start pushing myself up the ground.

I stepped forward again.

My life has been full of pain. All of it. Skyrim has brought me that. But it also brought me...

kindness...

And I care about these people. The people that took me in. Brynjolf...

I weeped for them. I weeped for everyone in this forsaken path. No one deserved it. And everyone was burning because of me. I brought this on to each of them. I...I...

Brynjolf couldn't have seen it. He should have left me alone and I would have left Riften eventually. But no, I was brought in like a homeless child and fed and taken care of. No way was I in any position to accept that. I was just a thoughtless and I still am a thoughtless person. I mean, look at me, standing there...zoning out and listening into the soulless beats of my own heart.

The guards were still battling it out as the creature expanded its wings and started soaring about again. It was...

Then I saw Brynjolf, out of nowhere, clad in his armour and bow and aiming to strike the beast down with all his might. He joined in the losing battle and the crumbling number of archers still determined to defeat it.

Why they were continuing to fight a losing battle was beyond me. They mustered themselves but still were failing and dying pointlessly. This was not theirs to fight. It was not theirs to take of. It's my duty. And my duty alone...

Yet they were strong spiritually and the decline of arrows did nothing to crush them down personally. The world still burned and yet,

I wanted to step back but needed to step forward. Get it in your head Petra, that your help is crucial to win this. This was a fight that had to be won for the lives of everyone. And this was my burden to bare.

Every shirk, every shout, every scream, every roar...just drowned me in a whirlpool of shame, disgust and despair. I must be repeating myself now, but how am I ever gonna get the idea in my head? What has to be done in order for me to finally start doing something about it? I...I don't know...I can't. I can't do this...no. I have to.

_**GET UP!**_

I took another step forward. I bit down on my lip so hard I tasted the iron in my blood. Physical pain felt so much better...my stomach twisted hard enough that I wanted to vomit.

Why wasn't I...

WHAT DO I HAVE TO _DO_? WHAT WASN'T THIS WORKING? SOMEONE TELL ME...? _ANYBODY_?

I'm...a lost cause. I fell back down to my knees and whimpered. I wanted to let the oncoming flames overtake me so I wouldn't have to be burden on anyone anymore. I could sell my soul to stop this from happening anymore. Just...anything would better than this waste of flesh.

I continued to watch Brynjolf fight it out. The beast was on the ground again, with Bryn barely avoiding it's fire. Karliah wasn't far behind, almost running out of arrows. Then...

the world just slowed down for a moment. The Dragon opened it's mouth and grabbed Bryn by his torso and chomped down hard.

No...

Please Gods no...

He threw Bryn around like a rag doll as he flew up and threw him over the walls like as he was nothing, and was punted in the direction of Lake Honrich.

No. THIS WASN'T _**FAIR**_! THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!

I could have broken down...I could have just fallen to ground yet again and went into a fetal position to let me be burned alongside everyone else. At least I wouldn't be alone again. But...

It was _then..._

Something boiled inside of me.

Something...powerful that it burnt through my veins. I stopped shaking and became deathly still.

An efficacious strength overpowered me. I could suddenly stand. My vision blurred as I subconsciously brought forth my bow of dwemer origin. I walked slowly at first and and I drew an arrow. In a swift motion without fault, I aimed my bow at the dragon and fired at it's head without as much a second thought.

It immediately spun around and gave it's vengeful and venomous glare. I paid no mind to anything else but the pure, unadulterated detestation to the abomination before me. My heart beat slowed down to a steady pace, but the energy in the air rose up dramatically as heated as hellfire. I focused only on it and it on me. Perfect.

It dove at me but I rolled out of the way. I must have fired so many arrows in such quick succession that it's body was riddled by the rest of my arrows before it was forced to finallly come to ground.

I dropped my bow and brought out the blade. I charged and shrieked, shouting _Yol_ in it's very face, watching the dragons muck burn in the wake of my sting. I slashed and I did not stop.

Slash, slash, slash, slash, slash...indeed the purity of my emotions took hold of me and nothing could stop my incredible urges to dominate and destroy.

Blood spewed everywhere and in my swift, harsh motions, I twirled and gave it all the muscle I could gather and finally, I rose my blade into the air, the end of it facing downwards and drove it's deadly point deep into it's skull, creating a burst crimson rain as I screamed.

"**DIE!"**

My body was filled with such an inflamed passion, my eyes searing with such the rage I was having. I took my blade out and panted as my heart started beating fast. I was so lost in my rage that I'd almost forgotten about Brynjolf. I dropped my blade as I ran to the door near the Blacksmiths in great haste and worry and disregarded the dragons soul as it streamed to me. No one encouraged me to stop.

* * *

I looked everywhere around the docks for Bryn, but he was nowhere to be seen. My heart fell as I found debris floating in the water. Dear Gods no.

I made no hesitation as I took a deep breath and dived into water itself and swam around, desperate to find him. I paid no mind to everything else around me, my mind on one track and determined to find the man where ever he was and Gods forbid me do otherwise. I wasn't letting this go so easily... I eventually found him nearby, sinking towards the bottom with a piece of heavy rock dragging him down. I pulled the rock off with all my might and grabbed Brynjolf by the helm of his armor. His eyes were closed and blood was seeping everywhere. Shit.

I took us to the surface and held him close, swimming towards shore. I dragged him nearby and put him on his back. I put my ear to his mouth. My spirit plunged as I heard nothing. I gave him mouth to mouth, forcing air back into his lungs. I listened to his chest. No heartbeat either.

No. Please Bryn...

He was gravely wounded as well. I dreaded what would happen. I couldn't lose him. Don't die on me you idiot! I panted, voice squeaking under the weight of desperation and sorrow.

I started crying again as I gave him chest compressions. I did this repeatedly to no avail. My world had gone silent once more but I never gave up on him. I kept doing it not until I saw something...anything. It had to work.

We were soaking wet in the cold harshness the land offered. Both of us were stained with blood. His face seemed so calm, so peaceful. His eyes, you could swear he was just resting. He better hope to Talos he just was! He couldn't...no...

Bryn please...just...don't do this to me! I don't want you to go anywhere...I want you here by my side. We'll go on adventures together I swear it...I...

I can't do this without you...I have so much to say...and I want you to hear all of it. I want you to hear everything please just...open your damn eyes you fool!

This was just...so...ugh. Gods please...this man...means everything to me. You take him away from me...why? Because I was too afraid to stand up? Is this your means of punishment? Test me..send me a thousand dragons if you must just don't let Bryn go! I rain my hands through his thick, red wet hair to stare at that rugged face. So peaceful...

_Please..._

_Wake up...wake up...wake up...WAKE UP...WAKE UP...**WAKE UUUUUUUUP!**_

I cried into his chest, whimpered and filled with nothing but sorrow and anger. I started shaking again. The world and it's crueltly, it's carelessness and unconcerned with the powers that be that manipulated it. I cried at the heavens, shouting the sky in all my frustration, then continued to whimper, after having exhausted myself, almost losing my voice in the process.

I got up...and started again. I kept going and going. I couldn't just give up here.

I collapsed again but got right back at it. Breath...compress...just...don't stop.

My world was becoming darker and I would never forgive it. My only source of inspiration was slipping away from me. I had to reap him back here. He wasn't going anywhere...

Just please. Talos..

_Please?_

I sat in silence briefly, contemplating my vengeance. Such...contempt, power and structure within me and I hardly used it. Was this how as it was going to be? The way this world ended because I sat there and was too afraid to just do something. Petra you...

I kept going regardless...kept trying over and over...

I was about to breath into his mouth again, when I saw a pair of eyes opening...they battered several times, before he started to choke and spit water from his mouth. He sat up too quickly and winced and brought his hand around to his side to hold the pain. He inhaled deeply in quick laboured intervals.

Gods...I...I just looked on in awe.

I sat beside him, on my knees with my hands snapping to sit in my lap. with the biggest smile on my face. We were dirty, messy and drenched but...the look on his face as he looked at me just...something only the divines could forge.

It must have been the only time I'd seen him cry as his eyes welled up, a tear trailed down his cheek.

"Petra..." He croaked. My heart skipped a beat.

He took his other hand to pull a strand of hair behind my eye, then cradled his hand on my chin, caressing my cheek with his thumb. I put my own hand on his...trying to make sure what I was feeling was real.

I then tackled him to the ground, much to his surprise. (and mine) and rested my head on his cheek and let the tears flow. I felt him relax around me and pulled me on top of him. He held me in his arms as I cried into his neck.

We may have been broken and bloody but this...we both felt warm and the strange emotion that filled out my body. I swallowed hard, my heartbeat would not go back to normal.

I was realising my tears were not of sadness but of pure happiness...which I hadn't felt in ages.

And amongst the strain of his wound, which Bryn braved through and I was being careless about it, his face was more lit up than the sun itself. We were so...elated to see each other like we hadn't seen in each other in forever.

We looked at each other and I touched his ragged face, feeling his beard and accompanying stubble. I repeatedly, just for some reason kept staring at his lips then back to his eyes. They appeared inviting.

"Bryn...I..." I muttered out, voice shaken. I honestly didn't know what to say but obviously wanted to say it anyway.

He placed his thumb on my lips, which put butterflies in my stomach.

"Shh...it's okay. I'm here now."

I'd never grinned so hard in my life. The man before me made me question and forced me to take action. I couldn't stand to see him hurt and refused to let him get put down by something that was my responsibility.

"And Petra?" He murmured to me. The voice...the one that I heard when we we hugging in the cistern. That same, enticed whisper that made my knees go weak at the very sound of it.

"Mmmm?" I mumbled back, lost in his humble face. I didn't really care what he'd be saying. I just wanted to hear him speak.

"_I..._"

"PETRA!"

I shook out of it as I heard Karliah's voice. She'd found us, embarrassingly intermingled there on the edge of the lake. I got off him as Karliah came running over. I got up as she hugged me, much to my surprise. And not to mention it was becoming incredibly awkward because of that.

"When I saw you run at the dragon, I thought you'd gone...mental, I mean, in the sense that you..."

I smiled and shook my head. I hugged her back. No need to worry about me.

"I'm...fine now thanks. But I think Brynjolf is the one who needs to be taken care of."

The man stumbled as he tried to stand. He shuffled over with his hand covering his wound.

I rolled my eyes as I went over and wrapped an arm around his shoulders to keep him from falling over. It was my turn to help him. He'd do so much for me that I would forever be in his debt. I'll do anything for me. And I'm...so happy he's alive. Sore of course but that's nothing that can't be fixed!

"Aye lass...ugh...just need to a patch up and I'll be fine." He told us with a forced smile on his face. He wasn't fooling me with that wound. Karliah joined in and went to his other side. Brynjolf had no idea who Karliah was, he could have suspected but otherwise didn't have the strength to care at this stage.

We took him back to the Cistern and made sure he was done alright. Our prides wounded and bodies scarred.

But thank the Gods he was still alive.


	25. Acceptance

**AN: Incoming Brynjolf chapter, since I know you all love those.**

**Chapter 25 **  
**Acceptance**

I'd never felt so...numb before this. But I knew it wasn't true...my heart grew when I saw the lasses face. A weight was then taken off my shoulders.

I wouldn't have managed without knowing and I would have to bore the guilt as I did.

But now...I realise.

After I'd returned back from the Sanctum earlier, questions poked at my head for hours for reasons, for knowledge, the hunger for answers. Nothing added up. I'd known Mercer too long and didn't know why he would lie to me. I'd turned into Petra briefly, as in, the quality alone time to constantly think and suss out my own thoughts during that minor interval. While I tried to find out the purpose of it all, I started to accept what I'd felt about her.

It wasn't seen as possible at first. She was originally just gonna be someone as a means to an end. But when you first look into those light blue eyes you see a story straight away that just pulls you in. But the story was in another language and it was just you trying to make sense of it.

The intention may have been that odd peculiar jolt, like lightning that I misinterpreted as something I could use. No, it'd been something that I wanted, and needed instantaneously. I wouldn't have believed it. I may have been slightly influenced by the Temple of Mara by just a tad.

Probably didn't have a real explanation. Maybe fate if you want an excuse.

I dwelt upon this for hours. Then when I'd heard someone mention of a dragon attack on the surface, it shocked everyone at the Flagon. A Dragon, couldn't be. But we all knew this was going to happen. We're all Thieves, sneaks and cheats aye, but you know some of us could fight. I just couldn't ignore it, you know. I couldn't get her out of my head and this type of talk got the thought trailing rolling as fast as it could and it was just agony and wrenching. I was going to fight for Petra...fight for her spirit. I had to get up and do something. The others didn't want me to. We had more things to care about. To ensure the Flagon was safe from Karliah. But was worse, her or a dragon that would burn down the walls around us. We'd lose our very shield to our world.

I didn't know what I was truly thinking. I'd lost my mind if you could call it that. Months ago you'd never hear of this stuff as much. Dragons attacking cities became the norm and it'd only be a matter time until Riften had it's turn. The guards could do their jobs, trained in archery just in case. But there was only so much you could do against a beast like that. Ensure that it wouldn't mess with our people. I'd gone out of the flagon and on the surface.

I took the thing head on knowing that I wasn't going to win. But I had to at least try. Try and push the thing back to let it know that it couldn't mess with Riften. Our Riften. I wanted to keep the pressure on it and bring back the force. No Dragons in Riften. And I was going to force it that way.

Aye and I was gonna make that happen. I was gonna enforce with all I had. Even with Riften in flames, that can be repaired. But you can't replace the bodies that built it. You can't just, rebuild everything and expect it to be the same as before. You know it was going to change...for better or worse.

And be damned if I didn't try. I'd fought one prior and dodged and weaved as much as I could manage. This creature...it's intensity didn't let up and I'd obviously didn't try hard enough to surpass it. My heart wasn't full and I'd given in as the dragon took hold me of and the next thing I knew was darkness becoming my best friend.

I was cold but I lingered there in the moment of silence that enshrouded me, that caught me and kept me close. I'd be content there if I wanted to see Petra again, where ever she was.

And...I prayed. In the darkness I prayed...I just wanted to see her face one last time because...

Because damnit I loved that lass.

I_ loved_ her...

I feel relieved to admit it as it had been a sharp blade to my gut and the wound just wouldn't heal on it's own. Or was it actually just talking to me. Saying that I could admire her face and her smile when she revealed it. That the very of the girl spoke volumes and warmed me all over. I've been with women, many women in my time, aye. Though the whirlpool of emotional turmoil coalesced inside of me, stirring me to impossible heights. No woman ever made me feel like that before.

But...I was dying. She was gone. There was no way of knowing of what I could have done.

It wasn't supposed to happen but it did. Even if we were...she had her own strength in combat and it was damn right impressive. She'd take down the creature with that temper of hers, that dragon spirit she was born with and the blessing of the Gods themselves. They'd given Tamriel a piece of themselves. Why would they let her die? Still, when her body wasn't at the Sanctum like Mercer had mentioned, part of me instantly clung on to the idea she crawled away to safety but to where she went I couldn't foresee. That my pessimistic side told me she passed from losing a lot of blood, with the image of the blood splatters on the ground suddenly making sense somehow.

She may have been strong but her being was fragile and I had to be extremely careful around her. Like I always have.

Oh.._Petra._..

You'd never take a fool like me...you hug me like a lost daughter and I take care of you like a father. But now I could never see where our lives could take us. I'm just stuck here, forever roaming in the dark. Hah look at me. I'm a big softie after all. Though I'm only soft around you. Because I felt I could without fear of it. I'd been open with you, letting you. I'd invited you the first day we met. We're both hard on the outside but such a tender, messy pile of crap on the inside. And we liked it. You may not have but you opened your heart to me and I liked what I saw. It was just something that built as well...I guess.

The Darkness had separated us and I would not be allowed to see you again. I would never be okay with that.

I had let my heart decide it because I'd felt somewhere that enough of it could possibly, as stupid and insane as it sounded, would bring me back to her. That she was the best of us and while she sheltered for her true calling in life, she was the best we had besides Mercer. Part of me just wanted to see that bitch die for what she did...

* * *

But then...I'd heard her voice calling to me. Originally I thought that my desires were coming true, then I heard the sobbing and the whimpers that followed. I felt cold, wet and sore as waves once washed over me. The latter wouldn't have occurred if I was truly dead. I felt my skin prickle and pop out goosebumps. The heavens...or where ever I assumed I was, hadn't taken me just yet. Could have been in some unpleasant realm of Oblivion for all I knew.

I clung onto that soft, quivering voice that I knew so well and came to appreciate more than I should have. And when I saw those eyes close to mine...it was strange that part of me thought I was in Sovngarde...which would have been unlikely, I'm not exactly noble in the sense of where Nords of my like welcomed...but maybe they were impressed with my valour with dragon and granted me redemption in death.

But it was all real. I knew that rugged scent in the air as it filled my lungs, that moist composition and the earth at my back. I spat...not a romanticised image. I was alive at least...that would have been my least concern.

And the girl I loved sitting before me, drenched from head to toe.

Mind could have been playing tricks. I could have been desperate enough to see what I wanted to see but. It was legitimate. All of it. I knew it had to be real. She was alive. And she'd just saved my life to boot.

My heart was at ease. She'd jumped on me and let it all out. But it wasn't sadness in her tears but the joy and love that was in every drop. It warmed my spirit to see her so happy to see me that it was just too...cute not to stare at it. She was so...beautiful that I no longer cared about anything else.

I had to tell her. Just to let her know that she was loved. If it'd make her happy.

Then...some dunmer interrupted my confession. Oh well, there'd be another time.

* * *

I wasn't entirely sure who it was. But they'd picked me up onto my two feet as I was pretty heavy. Quite the sight, if you were to see it. Two lasses, carrying my big lug around. Amusing thought, but I'm satisfied. They'd taken me back down to the Flagon, to which the others reopened the secret entrance by the Temples. They'd me down on Petras bed, which was, with out a doubt, the most comfortable and soft bed. Pity I was getting it wet and bloody. No one seemed to care though. It hurt to breath at times. The Dragon had got me good. The Dunmer assisted Petra as, to the awkward phase I was having, taken off my armor and healed me well, stitching me up nice.

According to the young lass, the wound looked quite deep, but the dunmer applied several ointments and potions to make sure it didn't get infected. I'd never seen the woman before. I didn't resist, laying there and let the lovely ladies do their work. I didn't think Petra was the healer type herself. While I laid there, barely conscious, wet and exhausted, I listened to their conversations. I tried to resist smirking as the dunmer directed Petra and taught her how to do it. Petra got frustrated, but the darker lass was happy to assist her. I didn't know why Petra was bothering with it if she didn't know how to do it. Perhaps she was still eager to prove herself useful.

She could try too hard at times. No one would expect her to do absolutely everything. But she insisted...

I fell asleep after that, made it easier for the girls for work on me without twitching so much. This was the sleep I enjoyed. I was getting warmer as I dried and often felt someone on the odd occasion touch my head. I wasn't in a particular deep sleep, as I heard more voices clattering about. It must have been Vex and Delvin, probing questions and the like.

"That's insane! We told him not to go up there and what does the fool do? Goes up there and gets his ass kicked by a dragon! By the Gods how could he not see that happening?" Vex berated.

True. I'd probably fallen into such despair that death would have been more welcoming. Dramatic and silly as that sounded. But I was still capable of fighting.

"He was in such deep melancholy, saddened that his darling Petra had died." Delvin noted, proving my point. Such extreme emotions can make you do that.

"I'm alive you know. The dragons dead to prove it." Petra pointed out.

Good on ya lass.

"Yes you killed a dragon. But Mercer said..."

I heard Petra stop and adjust herself. I couldn't see her but I sensed great ire in her.

"Do not mention that name..." She said, her words so icy and covered with frost.

"What? He went out after Karliah killed you and..." Delvin started before stopping.

Wait...who was that dunmer?

I wanted to move but I was paralysed, probably from the lasses ointments. Clever and despicable bitch. I heard swords unsheathe. Those two better be careful. And Petra...no..

"Wait!" Petra called out

What's this?

More shuffling.

"Please, lower your weapons. I have proof you've all been mislead. When Brynjolf awakens, I will give you the only piece of evidence you need that this entire time you've been following a scoundrel."

Mercer? Well, he was a scoundrel, part of his work really.

"Yeah yeah witch. We're not gonna fall for that." Vex said, with that very imbued abrasive tone.

"She's...telling the truth." Petra said sadly.

"Just...wait...we'll come to an understanding in a moment, I plea to you all to be patient. But Brynjolf really needs to hear this. Just let him rest, and do not attack Karliah or..."

Tension was thick in the air from the sounds of it.

"Or else what? Seriously Petra, what has Karliah done to get into that head of yours?" Vex chastised. I was eager to wake up but..

"**NOTHING!**" Petra shouted. It was almost enough to make the whole cistern quake underneath here.

"You have NO idea what is going on! If you refuse to just wait, then you're proving yourself incredibly stupid to get in MY way."

Oh _no_...a skirmish between the best gals in the guild. A few people would like to see that but no...now wasn't the time.

"Vex, do as she says..." Delvin warned. It was obvious he didn't want either of them hurting each other. Not right now. I didn't want either of them spilling anything. Vex's impatience got on everyones nerves sometimes. Delvin loved her enough to give her enough patience and gave him the bravery to end up copping the full front of her assaults. Poor guy, so persistent.

I imagined Petra giving Vex this striking death stare, her face still and motionless and could possibly just jump out at any moment. She'd faced down worse. Much worse.

"Fine, we'll do it your way...for now..." Vex said, regrettably. I'd sunk down the passage of relief.

"I suggest we just wait until we hear the whole story, o'right?" Delvin told her.

I heard hard and fast footsteps walk out into the Flagon. Poor Vex...I hardly understood what was going on myself. But I didn't doubt Petra had a good reason to defend Karliah's actions. It became quiet, and then I'd fallen into a deeper sleep.

* * *

Mercer had this...persuasive and vigorous story that filled the entire guild with homicial tendencies to maim Karliah after she'd murdered Gallus. He had his way with words and was not shy about being tough about it. Had Petra seen something? Heard something? I wanted to know the truth but I had to lay there to gather my strength. He'd told us so many tales of his adventures and the main was his simple, destructive resentment of Karliah and would slander her name everywhere. Everyone had this subconscious view of her, simply because the way he described the events.

What I wanted to know, was how Petra survived. Did Karliah save her? Was that why she defended the murderer? When I saw her I failed to sense the revolting personality that Mercer mentioned. Either that, or she was just a great actor. She'd been on the run this long. Why would it be any different? But she did walk into the cistern, a place filled with hostility and loyalty to their Guild Master. She was either stupid, or had no fear. I was inclinded to believe the latter. She was out to prove everything after all and was going to wait for me to awaken and reveal the situation properly. She had enough honor for that. Definitely not like what Mercer described.

I'll let it slide for Petra's sake. And Mercer said she'd killed her. So many assumptions floated in my head that I just wanted to get back up and get it sorted as soon as possible. I'd ask questions later.

Though I mellowed in the darkness of my dreams, in time my eyes struggled to reopen. I could feel something heavy on my bare chest as well as a slight chill.

Though that disappeared when I my face burnt up at the sight of Petra sitting down and resting her head on my chest, ear to where the heart would be. Poor lass. She just wanted to make sure I was still alive and kicking. It was sweet of her and it was, I don't know if you see it as creepy, but to see her sleeping was...cute? The softness of her face and the tiny smile...she didn't want me anywhere and I didn't dare wake her. She was in peace and content, despite that argument with Vex earlier.

Part of me wanted her to lay next to him so we could properly embrace one another. I felt special and was honoured to part of that to which made her happy. Which made me fear our friendship more if I decided to tell her how I felt and wondered if she felt the same way. I didn't want to make it too complicated between us.

She may have been giving mixed messages or she may have been just really comfortable around me. Either way, she was taking care of me now.

Thank the Gods for that nice bit of irony.


	26. Reveal

**Petra POV but more Bryn feels.**

**Chapter 26 **  
**Reveal**

The entire Cistern was thick with tension. No one knew what was going on and by the time Brynjolf recovered, the rest of the guild huddled around, while Bryn, Karliah, Vex, Delvin and me stood in the middle of the cister, trying suss it all out. You know, like reasonable beings?

They figured out who Karliah was and out right bled their hatreds against her with hardly saying a word, since speaking would end up turning the cistern into a bloodbath (Don't ask me how, it's just how it appeared) She was brave enough to stand inside a world that wanted to dismember her, while she used the power of her spirit to sort things out. She wasn't anxious, as she knew she had full blown proof that would clear her name.

Even so, with her saving my life I can support her with out a doubt, that everything that was known about her was absolutely incorrect. Besides the fact she was a thief, a dunmer and was in a relationship with Gallus. She held confidence and schemed for twenty-five years without giving up. She could trust me definitely. I'd be running around for nearly a year now. I don't even compare to the feats she's accomplished and she's had it way worse than I.

"So what's the proof you have Karliah, or I'll cut you down where you stand." Brynjolf said cooly.

It frightened me slightly to even hear him say that. I guess he wasn't sure what to believe. Either that, or he was acting as front for the others. It could be him, just bringing out his frustrations over the enduring of pain he'd just gone through. No...Karliah saved him. Surely he wasn't that ungrateful. Karliah, without pause, gave Brynjolf Gallus' translated journal and the look on his face when he was reading was astounding. His eyes had gone wide, he began to subconsciously shake his head...he honestly couldn't believe what he was reading.

"No...no...I've known Mercer too long." He muttered with such disbelief in his voice. I believed everything about it though. If Brynjolf wanted more proof, he only need to look at me. But the way he'd just become stiff like that, his face twisted was something I badly wanted to fix...to help him.

"It's all true. Every word of it." Karliah stated. Her tone of sureness. I wanted some of that.

* * *

They began to talk about Mercer's little secret. How he'd been stealing from the Guild for years.

I looked at Vex who suddenly went pale and appeared very ill. She knew. She knew all this time.

I held myself while giving her a brazing glare. She caught me and exchanged the same glance.

She knew. But...

Brynjolf got up to the part where Mercer apparently been stealing from the Vault for years. To my knowledge and what Delvin and Vex explained, was that they'd commissioned the best locks money could by. It required two keys. Mercer, Delvin and Brynjolf all one but it just needed two to enter.

"He didn't need to pick the lock." Karliah mentioned.

Delvin had no idea what she was going on about. They tested this theory on the Vault locks themselves. Delv went first, but the Vault was still locked up tight as a drum in his theory.

Brynjolf went next and put his key in then pushed opened the door. He wandered inside.

"It's all gone. Quick! Everyone in here!" Brynjolf announced with shock.

We all went in...all the gold...jewels and what ever other treasure was contained within had disappeared. All there was empty chests and a lot of steamed up thieves.

"That bastard! I'll kill him!" Vex cried, brandishing her dagger.

Again, Delvin ushered her to calm down. Often the only one who could.

Brynjolf looked at the rest of us with stern eyes. I could see the anger and fury within but he contained himself well enough. He particularly looked at Karliah and looked down, to his shame.

Mercer had manipulated them all. But Brynjolf took it the hardest.

He ordered the rest to continue to protect the Flagon, but with a new reason. By this time, our shouting had been so loud the whole Cistern joined in, sharing the same type of anger towards their Guild Master. We'd been robbed...irony this time, stung us hard.

But Bryn stood inside the Vault and tried to figure out what to do. Karliah and I stood with him as we worked out our next move.

"I'm sorry we don't have time for quick apologies now Karliah but we'll make amends once we find Mercer." Brynjolf told her, then looked at me.

I think...he knew. He wanted to know what happened before hand. It was obvious now that he suspected something had occurred at the Sanctum. But I'd never seen him so pissed off before. It was written in his rugged face but he was well about it, transfiguring it into a more practical resource.

"Do you have any idea where he might have gone?"

Karliah shook her head.

"No. He'd left the Sanctum after..."

All eyes were now looking at me. I kept my wits about me and faked my own confidence. But I wouldn't be able to hold the truth for long anyway. But now his eyes were pleading with me.

I know he once had total, blind faith in Mercer. Always had. Always was his loyal lapdog. He wanted Karliah dead but then again he wanted to see what my opinion was on the matter. The Journal or the Vault was not proof enough for him.

I didn't blame him. The whole ordeal seemed like nonsense. He could think that Karliah was still tricking them, forging the journal and with what ever dunmer magic she conjured to steal away from the Guilds' precious treasury.

Karliah knew as well, having a sad look on her face. She wanted me to tell Bryn, sensing the awkward prominence we were facing.

It's still too painful to speak of. And I'd worry what Bryn would do if I did tell him. Would he go out of his mind? Would he just go silent? Would he order the entire guild to look for him? He was unpredictable since the entire time I'd known him he was this calm, sensible type of man who just had his heart out for the Guild?

"I'll leave you two alone for the moment. I might scurry through Mercers' paperwork...could tell us something." Karliah said, turning around and walking off.

"Petra..." Bryn murmured. There he goes again. Using my name. I placed my hand on his face to let him know I was still here, but he turned away from me.

"I know you're confused right now. But...I know you don't want to believe what's being placed right in front of you, and you have every right to be unsure. You've known Mercer longer than most of us, Delvin probably has but we all know you were the closest to him. The fact you wouldn't know where he could be and that you're asking us suggests that Mercer would have never trusted any of you in the first place." I told him straight up. However long they'd been in the Guild as Master and Second-in-command, there wasn't too much personal communication. Just business and what ever else was deemed necessary for the Guild.

Brynjolf sighed and refused to look at me in the face.

"I just...would have not known Mercer would play us all for fools. The lad made sure the Guild would keep itself steady even through it's decline. And when I recruited you, there was still some linger of hope that our bracket would skim through it's darkest hour, eventually finding that silver lining. And we did."

He still refused to see reason on this. Brynjolf is one to have trustworthy people in an untrustworthy organisation. You could have seen this from any of the lowlives or the recruits still learning or just too stupid to follow the rules, and the ignorance would kill them. But coming from the Guild Master was just a shot in the stomach that no one saw coming.

Especially Brynjolf.

"Karliah is back and I don't know if she's playing us instead. How can we know?" Brynjolf questioned.

How dare he? Even after she'd helped him out back to the Cistern and assisted me in patching him up?

You know what? I pulled the man around and slapped him, surprising him for his just immaturity and stubbornness. I looked down. He was a Nord. Nords were known for their stubbornness. I guess there's only one thing to do.

"You may not trust Karliah, but you can trust me. Here."

I pulled up my armour and demonstrated the still healing wound on the left side of my torso while he was busy rubbing the red mark on his face.

Brynjolf had to squint at it. He wasn't sure but then something must have flashed before him and made him realise. His face changed again and it was wrenching me more.

"I'd gone to the ruins to find you. Or what ever was left of you. I saw the blood stain in the snow outside and a trickle on the inside. Is this what it was?" He'd asked, his once stable voice creaking with worry and concern.

I nodded slowly and dropped the armour.

"Mercer did this to me." I said outright...and there wasn't a better way to say it.

Brynjolf blinked. I don't know if he was expecting that type of response.

"Mercer...I."

I had to push through what ever the exhausting and painful memory of Mercer's...violations and make Bryn see reason and understand that Mercer must pay for he did. Not just to the Guild but...to me...

And to Tonilia...and to Sapphire and especially...to Vex.

Brynjolf grabbed hold of my shoulders to my surprise and stared me right in the face. His anger was mixed with his caution and anxious spirit. I suppose I should continue. Tears welled up in my eyes of course. I couldn't ignore the phantom pains the memories of it gave me. Again, this was not fear but the unholy perpetrations of a despicable man. I continued my struggle...tears were already falling down my face. It was just staring wide at him, not scrunched. I'd let them drop without being reluctant and hoping that may have been enough.

But Brynjolf came closer to me and wiped one of his my face with his thumb softly and slowly that I shivered underneath his touch.

"_What...did...Mercer...Frey...do?"_ He asked me, his voice was low and his chin back to his chest, his look of need to know growing.

"I...he..."

I'd bit my lip and looked down. My right arm had dropped, while my left had grabbed my bicep as I rubbed it.

"He's...he...it's unspeakable Bryn...I...back talked him and...he snapped."

Brynjolfs face widened.

"You disobeyed an order?" He questioned. It sounded more...how you say it, softer than the anger you'd be used to when some higher up starts asking about it. His voice must have gone up a pitch or two.

"You wouldn't do so if you didn't have a legitimate reason? What did he want you to do lass, please...just..I don't mind if you have to sob...I'll let you cry. Did he hurt you? Did he...hit you?"

I nodded. He was getting it at least. I just bared the burn.

"Yes. I didn't know how a simple no or question set him off but..."

Brynjolf was being awfully inquisitive about it. If I'd tell him, I'd wager all the issues with me telling him should be proof enough as well as the emotional reactions I was having. No I wasn't doing this on purpose. I just wanted Bryn to open his eyes already...everything right now was just natural. But I told myself if this was what it would take...

"He made me feel _weak_...where in a situation I would have been strong. His nature was...dominant and overwhelming...uh...I...he'd knocked me to the ground and...I _screamed_ your name...he told me you weren't there to save me. I'd pushed everywhere and...pulled everything off. He hit me, then used potions to heal me. Repeatedly. He...he...shouted at me...burned me...I couldn't do anything Bryn...I am so sorry...all I can imagine is those...sick, sick...groans and...I..."

It became too unbearable for me as I ran to the closest chest nearby and just hurled. The very image and thoughts twisted my stomach to no end. He ran over to me and helped me back on my feet after I was done. He turned me around and hugged me again, more tighter than usual. My gut churned greatly as he wrapped himself around me. But not as negatively as it had been prior. At least that wasn't making me chuck. I was more warm and pleasant.

"I think you've proven your point lass. No need to go on. It's my fault for not believing you and if I did I would have never forced you to go through that again...I didn't know. I'm the one who should be sorry." Bryn said with the most sorrowful tone I'd ever heard him speak in.

I eventually stopped sobbing as much as I could during that point where held me. I'd tried to convince myself that perhaps being as close as they were no one would have seen it coming regardless and all that time Karliah had been plotting to reveal the truth, clear her name and get it down fast to take Mercer down. To me it was simple, to Brynjolf, it must have been hard to see the signs. I could sense his guilt for not realising it sooner. He couldn't see anything but being blinded by trust and friendship. No...he was being lied to. The entire time. Pulled around and ordered. Following orders...

It kept him alive and rich for the time being but Bryn was more than happy to contribute. He was a pinnacle of the guild and quite frankly was one of the only ones doing a lot more work than anyone realised. But I had succeeded in showing him the error of his beliefs and wanted him to put his best foot forward to set things right again. I gave him a squeeze.

I then broke the hug, but Bryn was unsure to let me go. Poor guy. He'd been thrown in the lake without a boat or paddle. Sorry, bad metaphor there.

"You said you knew Mercer the most. Is there anything you may know or is there anything you know that he has we can possibly use against him or find his whereabouts? Surely there has to be something. You don't just do something like this without plotting an exit or some kind of...what ever."

Brynjolf tapped his chin and began to think. I was glad I was getting him to concentrate again...I know what it's like to get lost in the storm of disorder and to have no clue on what to do.

"Hmmm...I do know he has a house here in Riften. A gift from Maven after kicking the residents out. We could start there. It's Riftweald Manor. Be wary, it's being guarded by a brute named Vald...he was well acquainted with Vex, if you know what I mean..."

I chuckled at the very thought, but I knew that it'd give me the chance to speak with Vex about our common problems.

He then frowned again.

"But lass...he _will_ pay for what he did to the guild...what he did to you. And...I'm so very sorry that I wasn't there when I should have been. He'd told me you died...then when I saw your face I knew he was wrong. I had a feeling you were still alive out there somewhere. I wasn't sure to believe him but...to be honest I was in a bit of a tingle as to what I had to do then. But thanks to you my eyes are open, things are more clear to me."

I pressed my palm on his face and felt through his rough beard and stubble. I gave him a warm smile.

"I said I needed you there...I'd called your name because...your name just makes me happy. It sounds so stupid that way...I dunno..."

Great I had to find excuses for yelling for him at the worst possible moment. But none of this was his fault. None of it. He was entangled in this mess. Mercer manipulated everyone, including Brynjolf. I needed him angry yes but I needed him to be himself while he was at it and not like me who loses herself to fear and rage.

"Aye...I have that impact on people." He joked with a teeth showing grin that I just died from...no not really. Just made me weak.

"In all manners of seriousness, your story...no joke, tore me to pieces. I couldn't just imagine him doing that and to you of all people. Just makes me so..ugh...but I won't rest until he's dead. By the Eight he will die. Now that I see things for how they truly are, I have a pristine, pure hatred for Mercer now, and yet, in all of that, I learned something about myself along the way."

He approached me yet again and held onto my hands and fiddled with my fingers while I felt the heat on my cheeks swell up and my heart sent aflutter. I noticed his face had gone completely red. He couldn't even make eye contact with me and I swore that I could hear him make stuttered whispers. I smirked. Silly man.

"Out with it then, we don't have all day." I called out to him, attempting to gauge what ever nonsense he had for me...

"Petra...I..."

* * *

"So I couldn't...find...am I interrupting something here?" Karliah said, upon finding us holding hands with a bemused expression on her face.

The both of us parted ways very quickly and remained on farce, straightened and vigilant and a bit embarrassed.

"No..no...we were actually thinking that we may be able to find where Mercer went. He has a house here in Riften that might have some sort of indication." Brynjolf spoke, clearing his throat.

Karliah nodded and crossed her arms. She had this look on her face that was just...suspicious yet entertained.

"Alright then. Shall I go over there?"

I butted in all of a sudden. Alleviate all the awkwardness.

"No I'll do it. Brynjolf needs to keep watch here. I think you need to speak to him about something as well. I can't say much else on the matter without bawling my eyes out. But I also believe it has the utmost critical importance. Believe me..."

Karliah and I looked at one another and understood. I had to do this. I knew I could do it. Everyone was out for his blood now but I was the only one right now who could..is it me being arrogant? Maybe? Perhaps? I don't know. Brynjolf became the Guild Master by default, or at least one in standing. My assumption anyway. But he had more things to worry about, like keeping the Guild under control. They trusted him more for direction and I was better off doing things on my own.

For now.

I felt bad with him bearing that burden, but this was definitely something I could do myself. I may have been broken but not totally destroyed. And I was adamant that I could get through this. This was not dragon related...for now but at least I could assist in getting things set out straight once and for all.

I'd left Karliah with Bryn in the Vault. We could have afterwards to discuss anything we wanted. He could handle ourselves but right now Bryn was getting most of the heat sent towards him. His shame and to him it seemed like a failure. Though you would have to remind him that entirety of the Guild would no longer take the traitor in and none of would dare, on my watch, blame Brynjolf for anything. If they did they would see the tip of one of my arrows. Probably one of my harsh ebony ones dipped in poison.

I know our partnership was kind of...and still is..twisted. Bryn means a lot to me. The way I became embroiled with an overprotective charm built from anger that set my heart racing every time he was in immediate danger. Maybe that was why I didn't want him to leave the Cistern.

He's very capable believe me. He was in a state of shock that Karliah and I could get him out of eventually...maybe not Karliah but I'd reassure him a thousand times if I had to. He'll be fine, I'm sure of it.

Though I was more self-centered in the beginning and in some ways, I still am. I'm a natural thief, what do you expect? But Brynjolf was my better centre. My inner, self-centre. And Gods be damned anyone else take that away from me. Not anyone, not even a dragon. Make no mistake Brynjolf will not be harmed, not while I still draw breath.

So he was safer for now. Yes, the irony still stands amongst us. I've had terrible things happen to me and though my heart would weep at the sight of Mercer and dragons alike, I can navigate myself through the hidden cracks and at one point I will find a means to discover more of myself and deal with the real issues head on. And in order for me to deal with the Dragons, I'd need the courage to defeat Mercer first and utilise that courage as a weapon. Somehow I was gonna do that, friend.

* * *

However before I left I spoke with Vex in private in the Flagon. She leered at me. I know that arrogant, bitchy front too well for her fool me with her uptight demeanour.

"You're getting your way for now." She told me, with venom in her tone.

I nodded at her.

"We all want to kill Mercer, Vex, but I know what you're going through." I told her.

"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about." Vex mentioned, rolling her eyes.

"I had it happen to me too. And I know Sapphire and Tonilia have gone through the same thing. None of you like to admit and it still terrifies me in that monster of a breton dares to have tread inside these walls and have his way with the females in his guild." I told her left, front right and centre.

And I saw the snap in her eyes. She knew. She still knew.

"We would have warned you. Females don't exactly get the privilege of leading a lot down here. Mercer was and still is a massive narcissist and a huge, chauvinist. Sapphire heard him mention once or twice that he was going take Haelga away and basically, dig her worship of Dibella out of her and replace it with his God of Domination...what ever that meant."

I blinked. That was...strange.

"But he did...have his way with you?" I queried. Not exactly something I wanted to answer myself but this was important.

Vex sighed and rubbed her forehead.

"Yeah once. I recall it as being extremely degrading and...the image is still surprisingly vivid."

I nodded. It must have been. If it was still fresh in my mind, then it may still linger there in times to come.

"But his power couldn't be ignored you know, like he was possessed by something. I can't admit it was entirely bad. I'd struggled at first but ended up submitting after realising how good it was. Then he made me swear never to say this to anyone, or else my head would roll of its shoulders."

It made me sick. But then again...this had happened with me as well. So forgive me if I go off again...

The power, the struggle...the release. Painful with that ultimate punishment of pleasure drilling into you. And ultimately left you confused as to whether or not you actually enjoyed it. Vex sounded like it, but I never understood the fact that she was a strong woman and never actually told anyone about. Same with Sapphire, though her story was either very similar, or she was just speaking about experience in another way that didn't involve Mercer.

"But how do you see it now?" I wondered. I had to know whether or not this was just how Mercer made things seem or whether there was something else behind it.

Vex just shrugged her shoulders.

"We hardly spoke at all. It's...terrible though and now that you put the idea in my head its actually kind of humilating."

I nodded.

"You and I weren't the only ones. Tonilia...Sapphire. Mercer told me that he did it to them as well."

Vex's eyebrows raised.

"Really? Hm..and I thought Sapphire as all talk herself. Seems to have some kind of hidden issue that is now blatant to us all. And Tonilia? Probably explains why she doesn't want to marry Vekel just yet. And Dirge just thought because she was having an affair with Bryn."

What?

Vex looked at me with fake surprise.

"Oh I'm sorry, just a little rumour around the Flagon. Tonilia insists it's not true. It'd been something of a topic between all of us before you arrived. Luckily now I guess that its long since passed and over, considering Brynjolf won't stop gushing over you."

I shook my head. We had to get back on topic and not jealous over some stupid rumor. I liked Tonilia. Don't ruin it for me now Vex.

"Well Bryn can gush over me as much as he likes. Besides that, I'm more curious as to Mercer got the better of us."

Vex nodded.

"We're all strong women no doubt. But you might want to get looking into that God of Domination crap. Even for Mercer, that's a bit flashy and over the top. He's not the type to go worship any type of Divines but that just sounds...a little bit creepy."

I'd have to look into that another time. But for now...

"Bryn also mentioned that you also knew, Vald personally..."

Vex chuckled. More amusing thoughts.

"Ah I was waiting for this. Yeah I know the dirt on that pig of a man. Got more secrets on him than you can handle. Let's see, how about him screwing up on a job for Maven. Seriously, he_ screwed_ up...on Maven. It was a wonder to see him alive."

I crossed my hands.

"He's supposedly at Mercer's Manor. I want to know how to get on his good side."

Vex just laughed.

"Good side? Huh...dunno. Money? But I'd admit he's pretty loyal to Mercer so you may have some trouble buying him off. I don't care what happens to him. But make you sure you help yourself to anything of Mercers while you're in there. Gods know I would."

I smirked.

"Thanks Vex. And I swear, we will get Mercer." I assured her.

She smiled at me. And it may have been one of those cocky smiles, it had been more genuine than I'd ever seen her.

"Appreciate the sentiments. I have no doubt you'll get rid of him. Good riddance. And I might just talk with Tonilia and Sapphire about this as well. They'd want to know that we both know. It might just give them closure...that's if your story is true. Then I'd just be seen as the jealous bitch wanting to lick Mercers boots once last time."

We shook hands in our own agreement. I think this was the first time Vex and I saw eye to eye on anything else besides business. She may have the shield of hate around her but she wasn't that bad. I'd really hope she'd give old' Delvin a chance one day.

"And Petra? Kick his ass for me." She called out to me as I left the Cistern.

Thank you Vex once again. I will make sure of it.


	27. Worse than I thought

**AN: Be wary the original questline may divert somewhat...but its purely for your amusement. Thank you all for your reviews as well, always appreciated. Any questions I may be able to answer as well, maybe my own opinion or structure for characters. Stuff like that.  
**

**Chapter 27 Worse than I thought**

I rendezvoused back to the surface once I had gotten more details about the Manor and sold the Dwemer Cube and model ship to Delvin, because I'd nearly forgotten I had them stored. The town was still repairing itself after that Dragon attack. It was painful going back up there again, to the restless ashes of those left behind. But somehow it still functioned, but Riften was more of a ghost town than ever.

I'd gone back to the back of Riftweald Manor and wasn't surprised that it was left untouched. Though the Plaza had taken a bit of a beating. The Dragon's skeleton was being cleaned up in the aftermath, leaving the guards in such a wonder.

I'd...prefer not to be seen as the saviour here. Again it's proven my cowardice and my inability to accept my role and just seen as an another weakling left alone to their fate.

It becomes strange that, though months ago I wouldn't have really cared about a single person here. Goes for a lot of people. I'd only come here to run away and back then I'd be tempted to hide yet again. But the dragons just know. They know where I am and where I'll be and will follow me to the end of Nirn if they have to. Which was making it more important that we take care of this and going elsewhere to entrench myself with a bit of the Greybeards wisdom. I just didn't want anyone people to die because of me. And look where my foolishness has lead to.

I refocused my goal on Vald, the brutish Nord who was loyal to Mercer still. I'd gave it a shot to buy him off, but like Vex said, it wouldn't work. I thumbed my lip. Then made a remark that Mercer needed his help somewhere. Where ever didn't matter. And I'd offered to take care of the place for him.

Idiot. He fell for such an stupid ploy. He'd given me a key and ran off.

I'd seen the contraption that Mercer had commissioned for quick escapes and aimed at a piece there and it let down the ramp. Interesting to note as well. But I'd expected for some kind of ambush or what ever so I kept my guard up as I entered from above.

The house was deathly silent, save for the subtle breathing of the mercenaries he'd hired to guard it. I scurried around up and down the place without much luck, but had a fun time evading the mercs while I was at it. Couldn't find a damn thing though even after several thorough searches. I was wary the mercs may have started to catch on what I was doing. But nonetheless.

I poked through many cupboards, then found one that was completely empty. I knocked on twice, which revealed a hidden passageway.

The passageway lead to a section of the Ratway, strangely enough. I'd reckoned that all Mercer had was a study, or a hidden study with all his plots, perhaps gold and jewels he'd stolen from the Guild, mass amounts of paper work. He'd never leave that in the Cistern. I'd wager he would have been doing this for years with tonnes of influence.

No. All I'd found was much, much worse.

I'd say that it wasn't anything of the above as you might think from a man of his caliber.

No.

This was a chamber of death.

My eyes widened and I froze when I walked down the steps. I'd seen blood everywhere on the floor, walls written in daedric letters, also with blood, and many candles a lit on the walls. The air was more cold than Skyrim snow. I couldn't step any further without wanting to vomit.

But...I took a deep breath. Petra, you came here for a reason. You will not leave until you have fulfilled that purpose. I was sickly, but I would manage. I'd gone through the muck down another walkway, where it appeared as something...or someone, was dragged down. I'd gone into the room, where I barely avoided a set of spikes that came down from the ceiling. There was a skeleton stuck in one of the spikes. It sent a shiver down my spine.

The atmosphere was alien and unknown. It resembled the sewers but was much much darker. It could drill a sense of hopelessness in you and bore something fierce into your very soul. What Mercer was up to, it definitely wasn't of holy origins. It was more akin to some bizarre ritual and worship. He did mention the God of Domination and the writing on the wall...suggested in.

It made sense. It made me feel more ill but I wasn't going to hide from the fact that Mercer was worshipping a Daedric Prince, and that all these insane happenings were purely for the worship of...some one. I tried to remember.

"_Ahh you've arrived..._" Churned a voice that echoed in my mind.

"_And you've stumbled upon my Champions home. He who has forsaken Nocturnal and bore himself to me_."

It held this power that had full intentions to overwhelm with intensity. I felt it and almost fell onto the ground. I'd escaped the spiked room and went into another hallway. Where the candles suddenly went out.

I was walking in pure darkness.

"_But you...ah yes I sense you may been have someone of a certain...spirit. But you're weak. My champions must be strong!_" It roared.

Imagine being stuck on a rack with your limbs tied back and pulled. This was how his voice felt like, sinister and devilish.

"None have survived the Walk of Wills since my dear Champion. The winds have changed, and the flow of strength no longer belongs to you, Dragonborn."

I felt the rough brick edges of the walls to prevent myself from bumping into anything else. My heartbeat rose and the need for air suddenly grew. The floors squeaked and squished. The scent of blood was running rampant through my nostrils that it was hard to become accustomed to. Sometimes I wish I was a Khajiit, that way I'd have at least a better visage of what was going on around me.

Though the struggle to defeat fear became the factor of respecting it, the basis of paranoia judged on every sound that was made and what echoed through the halls. One thing on my mind was that was it Mercer who built his wretched place? Or was it already here?

The Princes have been known to be the masters of psychological manipulations but also physical at times. None were ever understood completely. If you'd find yourself at a crossroads with four paths, they'd point you in the fifth direction. Or they'd sing a song on the the highest pitch beyond of hearing and end up having your brain melt to moosh. Your ears do not sense but your mind disappears at the highest note. That sort of crap.

But the unpredictability of the Daedra was what made them so dangerous. We are no more than mere pawns in their game unending. A fire mixed with blood was what drenched this disgusting place.

But this one made your heart weak and mind fuddled. It tested you and births you to what extent your will could be stretched to. Flight or fight. Either way, luck was the only thing that would leave you alive.

What Daedra want from mere mortals is said to be something of an enigma, from what I have read. Fun, profit? Who knew? Those with common sense knew they were nothing but bad news but morons and the gullible often found themselves fallen at their worship. I never understood it really, but...

I had a feeling that one day I'd be forced to meet a Prince. People like me, especially like me, would definitely encounter one. It's in an adventurers bucket list to maybe just meet one. Talk to it maybe, but try not to fall for what ever nonsense they feed you.

But the power of this Daedra was of the same compelling sensation as...before.

No...

not this again.

I'd found myself in a weird dome shaped room. The room was lit in red, with a single mace in the middle of it, like on some kind of bizarre shrine.

I looked around, and tried to find where in Oblivion I was. Wait...

Was I...in Oblivion?

"_You have the ability to slay Dragonkind yet you steer clear from the dreaded beasts. Let's see...pick up that mace. Use it in all it's rustful spitefulness. And see if you can survive the onslaught."_

The room when dark again and the air had shifted. It smelled rank and gruesome.

As usual, I instantly became frozen upon the sound of a dragons roar. This was cruel. Too cruel.

The worst part was that I could only hear and I couldn't see. I'd picked up the mace before hand, but didn't know why.

The roars got louder but I still couldn't see anything.

I'd told myself that dragons were going to be after Mercer and not before. The Daedra knew this and was exploiting that logical structure. Logic does not help you. At all.

I remained motionless and ill from all angles, with attempts to drive me mad currently at the borderline. But that feeling, when a surge of lightning strikes through, but you can't help but that your perception slows and you can imagine bolts of light shooting through every nerve, like a tree on fire. I'd become stuck in where I was, with the phobia messing up my head like always.

It made me think about my phobia. It's junction...its heel to me. The roars were the calm before the storm. The first chapter in a book of tragedy. From where they were shouting from, they might as well be flying around in circles, surrounding their prey. I heard wings flapping, to where every flap my ears became attuned to, and my head moving around to their directions.

But in a sense, It was...odd...and that it differed from the normal encounters.

I became furious.

"You may watch me Daedra. This is not the sort of thing you yourself should be messing with. You may know my fears but you may never take my spirit. I am absence of courage but I still have the tenacity to pull through. I will!"

I actually didn't know who I was trying to convince. Myself, or the Daedra. The darkness didn't help much, since the fiend didn't dare show himself.

"_Feisty. I like that. Words do not much good for you though. Unless you're going to offer me something in return_."

I tried to think. I really had no real choice in the matter did I?

"I want to kill Mercer Frey." I said out loud and this time of no fear or hesitation. I stood up straight. The Dragons roars weren't real, I couldn't sense their spirits nor their breath or shouts upon me.

"_Of course you do...I know your desire to destroy him is...strong. Mercer has dominated and destroyed in my name for years. But this turn of events, could make things interesting..._"

I took a deep breath. I honestly didn't like where this was going. At all.

"_I was wrong about you. So, I'll give you my mace...my proper Mace. And I want you to dominate. Destroy in my name...killing Mercer would prove your worth and test your mettle. I want to see who is the stronger and most deserving to be my...champion..."_

He still gave me chills as he mystically transformed the mace into a spiky, green glowing monstrosity.

"_And the weaker...well, let's just say that they deserve whats coming to them...farewell.._"

I jumped when everything suddenly went light again. I was standing in the study, no doubt the one that I thought would exist. When I found scraps of a plan in motion. Some Dwemer ruin that Mercer was looking into it. I'd found a few things in here as well. Jewels...gold...a bust of the infamous Grey Fox.

I had trouble trying to figure out what had just happened though. Mercer had been taking the orders of a Daedra? Or was he doing this on his own? My...experiences tell me that this was all his doing...but the compelled nature...

I was beginning to see why the others, like Vex, never talked about their experiences with Mercer and his...degrading methods to keep them in line. It often became all muddled and twisted to where it just hurt to think about it. By pushing it aside you'd be okay. But I knew on those points that that was just...ugh...

The amount of force...that Mercer put into it was...astounding but terrifying, whisking you away in his world of torment...and...

Gods I still can't handle the thought of it. I must still be too weak to take it all in. I still don't know what's going on here. What's this...perplexing notion that just can't be breached in terms of why it had occurred and for what reasons Mercer was doing this.

I fear we may have to kill him before we actually find out.

Thank the Gods I was still alive.


	28. Spiritual Value

**AN: It's after 12:33 AM, I have work at 8:00 am and have finished two days at a convention in cosplay. SO TIRED, but I managed to rush out on this chapter in within a few hours. **

**AND still thank you for all your reviews. Mercer will pay I assure you, it just might get a bit complicated getting there...**

**Chapter 28 **  
**Spiritual Value.**

We waited for the lass to return back with any news at all of Mercers return.

I was relatively calm and active, but slightly anxious. I'd learned of what Mercer had done, what he had truly done, and I felt betrayed and wrought for what I was once worth to the man.

The pit in my gut was as strong as ever and I tried to figure out...why?

But all the blocking out made more sense. If anything, Mercer had been much more secretive after Gallus' demise according to ol' Delvin. He'd never be one to talk about his personal life. You'd have to gain the trust and friendship between another member of the Guild and over time you earn their respect. To know another, you must be willing to prove yourself to the sanctity of the Guild itself. You must make yourself willing to develop yourself into your chosen profession.

Some of these people had thrown away their lives for unjust pursuits. We cannot deny them if they wish to join our line of work. But you have to learn the differences, to define you properly as a Thief, rather than a common bandit.

People here aren't afraid to be themselves. They aren't fake and all have had their share of pain in the day. We're not here to judge if something influenced them to take our line of work or they were born with gift. They do the job well and they do it clean. We require nothing else.

Normally we don't care much for another's well being. Mercer never did. You can pay for your head elsewhere. Silly as the focus was on Petra right now, but there had never been a sense of togetherness before this.

Aye, sounds all warm and fuzzy and I can tell you no one would like it told that way. But the Guild itself has taken her in and made her one of us. Later, there was no real doubt about her abilities.

There are heroes and villains in these types of stories. And in what grey area defines us as both a hero to the people you serve, or the villain in the ways of the people you constantly betray.

So, aye, none of us are true heroes and may not accomplish such tripe at any given time. Petra can and it somewhat fits.

Someone like her is let into the Guild, a rabble of people on the brink of extinction. Then incomes the bony, thin Nord and eventually the Guild spruces up.

This is just what I'm thinking has happened because I've read those stories before. Someone like Maramal would call it, a person with spiritual value. What ever that means, but I think he meant is that we might not define something the way we expect it to be. Because they can be anything. But their natures and their strengths are from the divines as well...just guessing that of course. I uh, don't know if it's actually true.

But Petra's spirit rose the Thieves Guild near back to it's glory days. It's just fascinating about someone getting things back together simply by doing their job, while the rest of us just struggled.

But the rest of us are just side characters. We may give the order because it's our job to do so. But the hard yards and work are done by these individuals. You may not hear all of the story, but you know, it'd been the little victories, ones not often told. Not glorified or put into great detail.

This is more about efficiency of our members as well. Everyone would need to stand for one another. Especially for Petra. She simply won't spare the details because you know the results from here are, nearly guaranteed to be near perfect. That's what she's been doing this entire time. Then her spirit breaks.

It's not that that Guild isn't capable of caring, it's just caring that burden of emotional attachment can sometimes be overwhelming. I know that all too well...it's just that...uh...okay...

It's getting harder to avoid speaking about it. Yes, I've been lying this entire time. I've been visiting the Temple of Mara in secret for a while. Shocked? I am. They say some people have more of an ability to just be themselves because they were destined for greatness and there's few born like that. They believe that a being like the Dragonborn isn't designed by fate itself to solve the problem of Alduin and all that, but to let others draw breath once again by being there and actually doing things other people would be afraid to do. What compels her to do so? I know she's helped people. Mjoll, the lingering lass whom detests, had an issue with dwemer ruins previously. Almost died for the sounds of it. Petra goes right out and helps her, goes to the ruin and gives Mjoll her weapon back. It's amazing when you hear that about a Thief? Her spirit somehow attracts those in dire need and is actually attracted to those in need. Her Spiritual Value, well, is quite high.

So I think I may see why she bares the burden she does. She naturally finds trouble and goes full tilt to help solve it. And if she fails, it brings her great sadness that she could do nothing about it. So her fears with the dragons and Mercer are all brought under great failures. The Temple helped me understand that. Such a failure could have been catastrophic and should never have occurred.

But what can you do when you never wanted the abilities in the first place? I know Petra would want to get through this as much as she possibly can. And I want to help her. We all do. Maybe she was better off having a life elsewhere but if all this is just part of her wanting to help, it's just...

I love the lass...I do, but she needlessly puts herself in harms way and it drives her to misery anyway. The way she fights a dragon is nothing like a Thief but of a warrior. I'm yet to comprehend that. The Temple could translate that as her spirit awakening for it's true purpose, but her fear misguiding her.

She screams because it's painful for her to even approach the dragon yet she's oddly pulled towards it and her fear turns into hate and outright fights. She's normally the one to avoid confrontation altogether and is the lone wolf among the pack. But she changes. She's no longer what she was and becames something...more.

The fire in her burns brightly and you weren't seeing Petra at all. It's like the fury of the Dragon inside is pushing her to dominate herself. But what triggers her to change?

I don't know and it hurts myself to think about it. And I worry about her in the depths of Mercers house and I can't help it. I dare not show those feelings to everyone else. I've always been good at that. But I haven't had those pulls like Petra has...what ever its doing to her it's just destroying her in the inside.

A conflict of two spirits.

Which one is more value?

There's a smash of a door nearby. Hurried footsteps approach me in the middle of Cistern.

"Brynjolf, he's heading to Irkngthand, something about the Eyes of the Falmer." Petra announced.

She stood up straighter than usual, sounding hurried and weary. But there was something in her eyes that was telling me something but she sure wasn't.

But the Eyes of the Falmer, that sounded...

"The Eyes of the Falmer, that was Gallus' little pet project!" I announced, making the connection.

She stood there looking at me, as if awaiting orders. Karliah came by, having heard my conversation.

"You have his location now?" Karliah asked.

I nodded. "Aye. Irkingthand. We should here there immediately. Petra, stay with the Guild, Karliah and I will need to talk."

Petra shook her head. I'd received the biggest glare that I'd ever seen.

"No. I will stay here. I want that bastards head on a pike and set on fire if it's the last thing I do!"

Her voice sounded so dark and tinged with anger. I often had trouble seeing which side of her was speaking.

"Very well, but if anything happens to you..." I muttered, then realised now was not the right time...especially with Karliah there. But Petra just rolled her eyes at me.

"I'll be fine Brynjolf, I'm more worried about you guys."

I rose an eyebrow. There's that cocksureness I'd come to appreciate.

"Fine then. Karliah?"

The Dunmer nodded.

"Now is time to decide Mercer's fate, and that falls to you Brynjolf."

Aye it did. Second-in-command is still second-in-command and this moment I was still the defacto.

"Mercer killed Gallus and he tried to kill the both of you. He betrayed the Guild. He needs to die."

I'd realised what I said sent shivers down my spine. My order to kill Mercer was on just terms and left heavily on me as number two to decide. I'd become the figurehead I never wanted to be.

"Good. Because we'll need to meet on equal footing with him. I want to take you two somewhere first before we head out to Mercer. Trust me on this and I assure you we all will have a chance."

Karliah explained.

I nodded. I turned to Petra, waiting for her response.

"Alright, where do we need to go?"

Thank Mara there is one Petra.


	29. The Oath

**AN: Thanks again for all your reviews! Have a Karliah chapter! Yee**

**Chapter 29 **  
**The Oath**

My work was nearing it's end. I could feel it.

But Brynjolf and Petra were willing, since they were just as wrapped up in this nonsense as I was. They'd fallen to the same manipulations as Gallus and I, but I was beginning to see comparisons between Bryn and Petra alongside myself and Gallus. It was adorable and I'd been blind to see it.

I'd interrupted them during their close times...purely by accident of course.

But from what I had seen, they'd been through a lot together. I silently wished them the same luck, if not better than what happened with Gallus. They occasionally gave each other glances and smiled more often in each others presence...the unusual type of flirting, since they were actually more awkward around each other if anything. I could sense the tension between them as we left Riften and into the Rift's countryside. I lead them, while the two walked close by one another. I'd been a fool not to know what was going on. You'd think that after being in a relationship for a while would make it more apparent to you. I was wrong.

We'd walked over to the Nightingale headquarters. I was hoping to induct them as Nightingales so they could get the answers they deserved. I hungered for resolution to a decades long game.

I cannot accept my own failures and reasons for why this had happened. Mercer was ruthless and cruel and I had no doubt in my mind that he was jealous of Gallus. He wasn't always like that. He once admired the Guild Master and followed his word. He...he was a bright man always looking for the thrill. Staying in one place bored him so he was fascinated by the dangerous and the strange. He'd found me once as he'd seen the blood in me was itching to do something.

My grand mother was the famous Barenziah and I'd come to admire her for her beauty and smarts. Gallus actually knew more about her than me. And I'm family. I'm really blind aren't I?

But Mercer one day just...changed. I was fortunate enough to get out of his grasp, as befitting as my position as a Nightingale and my loyalty to the Oath.

We'd reached the Hall and stood in front of the large standing stone nearby. I'd pulled the chain and opened the hidden doorway nearby.

Brynjolf couldn't believe his eyes but also had trouble following me on what was going on. I only told them the basic details of us being Nightingales in order for us to fight Mercer on equal grounds, or else we'd got slaughtered the moment we encountered him.

We'd gone inside and down the darkened hallways. We'd reached the old rest area, but the beds were pretty much all over the place and derelict. I'd remembered the old days where us three would just be counting the jewels and coin, plotting heists and all those kinds of fun ideas. Back when Mercer used to smile and didn't become the monster he was now. Gallus liked Mercer and saw potential in him as a master thief and welcomed him to the Nightingales with open arms. I believe time with us made him feel..separated after it was made...unfortunately obvious that Gallus and I had fallen for each other.

Mercer was like Brynjolf once. Cheerful, optimistic for the Guild's future and so forth. We were one happy family. It was painful to see him develop sociopathic tendencies. Gallus caught on to his act quite quickly and noticed him...warp into a part of the shadow's we'd never even seen before. He became chauvinistic and brutish. He held just as much hatred as he did jealousy for Gallus towards the end.

I pray to Nocturnal that this never happens to Brynjolf and Petra. Especially if what Brynjolf told me was true about her being what the Nord legends call Dragonborn. I was puzzled as to why someone like her would even be in the Guild. Brynjolf was hesitant and hostile to trust me at first, but when the evidence of Mercer's betrayal became clear, and the stories of Mercer's horrendous came forth, I was glad that my warnings didn't fall on deaf ears.

We came across the armoury, where we would receive the blessed Nightingale Armour. I instructed the pair to rest their hands on the stones before them, marked with the Nightingale symbol.

I felt like Gallus, watching them as they laid their hands on the stones and closed their eyes, looking at the way as thick silver lined black smoke started to swirl around them slowly. I could hear the sparkle sounds, the clinks as it overtook their armour, almost replacing it. The scene was just magical as their capes formed from behind once the smoke had reached their shoulders. The armour started to take shape, with the hood forming, then as the plates themselves settled in, the circulr emblem of the Nightingales gave off a bright light before fading in place.

I got mine, then observed the pair admiring the gifts that Nocturnal had gave them. I couldn't help but smile.

"Okay lass, we got these get ups on...now what?" Brynjolf questioned at the behest of his just confusion.

I nodded.

"Beyond this gate is the first step in becoming a Nightingale."

His eyes may be hidden, but I detected reluctance in his body language.

"Woah there, lass. I appreciate the armour, but becoming a Nightingale? That was never discussed."

It was a lot to throw away of course. Petra didn't say anything. I couldn't tell if that silence was acceptance or it was just uncertainty. But I'd expected them to think in the sense of worship and reverence, but I needed them to understand this was all business related and treat it as such. Nocturnal doesn't need prayer. I don't know what she wants but I know how she works and treats her Nightingales.

Brynjolf looked at Petra, who remained quiet in all of this.

"You're pulling Petra into something she doesn't even understand." He stated.

"I don't want her drawn into it."

I crossed my arms and looked at the girl.

"Petra?"

She looked down at her feet.

"We gotta defeat Mercer right?" She stated, not looking at either of us. I really couldn't tell if she was nervous or just puzzled at it all.

"Aye, we do. I just need to know the terms before we strike some deal with a Daedric Prince. Which is hardly ever a good idea."

Hesitations like these were common along decent folk like them. I understood that. But to assure them that they will gain considerable power as part of it, that they will have the backs of said Prince by their side.

"This will improve our luck tenfold I promise you. The terms are quite simple. Nocturnal will allow you to become a Nightingale and use your abilities for whatever you wish. And in return, both in life and in death, you must serve as a guardian of the Twilight Sepulcher._"_

I explained to them.

Petra looked at me. Part of me didn't want her to stay here but, the secrecy of the Sepulcher was sworn to us for a reason. She could still do what ever she wanted but I had been unsure of her true calling. She may not end up with the shadows herself if what truth about the Dragonborn was known.

"Petra?"

She looked me, her stance improved, supporting her confidence.

"I'll go through with it for now. Anything is better than what I am right now. If this helps out with my courage issues, then by all means."

In a way I was both glad and disappointed. Her future would definitely be uncertain but it wasn't mine to control. Maybe not Nocturnals either.

"Very well. Brynjolf?"

He still wasn't sure about it. I had to appeal it to him somehow.

"There's always a catch. But I guess there isn't much to lose."

I nodded. I had a brief discussion about what we needed to do and what was going to happen. I needed both of them to just relax and to let me handle it.

* * *

We came into the main summoning area and instructed Petra to cross the bridge from the inner platform to go onto the western circle and Brynjolf on the eastern. Still having that ethereal feel after all these years. But that's what made it so mystical and illusionary.

I'd gone into the wider central circle, where Gallus once stood. I remembered the words he called out that very day he inducted me and Mercer.

"I call upon you Lady Nocturnal, Queen of Murk and Empress of Shadow... hear my voice!"

Upon my phrasing, a large glowing ball of violet sparkling glowing energy emerged from above the large circle before us.

"_Ah, Karliah. I was wondering when I'd hear from you again. Lose something did we?_" Called out a echoed and disembodied voice.

* * *

We discussed the terms of the oath. These hoods were really good at hiding reactions from the others, but I sensed them in awe of Nocturnals very presence, though I was worried that Petra might not like the idea itself still. But at least I got Nocturnals favour once more, bargaining with her with two more guardians for the Sepulcher.

We met in the inner circle after we'd finished, having some more business to discuss.

"So that's it then? We're Nightingales?" Petra stated.

I nodded.

"Yes. And now you can know Mercers true crime. He's been able to get away with stealing from the Guild is because of the Skeleton Key..."

I described how the Key was crucial to keeping our luck flowing, but how it could open any lock, irregardless of type. And it also unlocked spiritual and magical barriers, bringing us the power stored within our minds. Which made Mercer incredibly powerful. Petra understood the fact that while it made stealing easier, it wasn't right. She'd wanted to spit in his face as she put it back where it belonged. Good. She needed that attitude. The Sepulcher acted as a conduit for luck, flowing in from Nocturnals realm of Evergloam. That all those uncanny claims of pure luck and chance were on the terms of Nocturnals very influence. She was a paragon back in the day. And still is.

And now that we finally had gained an advantage, we could finally strike Mercer, but I suspected we still needed to be extra careful. We went back into the rest area and readjusted the beddings there. I'd come to hide here a lot, during my exile. And I still imagine sometimes, with Gallus right beside me. I miss him dearly.

They weren't saying anything about nor were they showing it, but the pair were exhausted. I wanted them at full strength when we go find Mercer.

Thank you Brynjolf and Petra for bringing back good memories.


	30. Restless

**AN: Brynjolf chapter and prepare for feels! and fluff...FLUFFY CHAPTER!**

** Chapter 30  
Restless.**

I was still shocked about my induction into the Nightingales, even if all I heard were stories and fairy tales. Petra was spruce about it though, while maybe a bit frightened I think she actually liked the opportunity. But Karliah explained it in terms that we should treat it as a permanent business contract. While I wasn't looking forward to spending eternity in the unknown, Karliah informed us that our potentials as thieves will start to reap in huge benefits for the Guild.

And the Guild was family and in it's entirety needed to be avenged and purposely brought back to life to bring fun and adventure back into our old ragtag of had brought out the spare beds to let us rest on, summarizing that would need to rest in order to be at full strength for Mercer. I had more intentions to find Mercer now before he got away, but we were dead tired. It'd been hard for the past few days, still getting the damned dragon off our minds. Petra took it well enough I suppose, which was of course a good sign. She must be more cautious that we were. But she was not looking forward to meeting Mercer himself yet again, but I deep down I know that she'll law down the chaos of the dragon, if given the chance.

We'd gone to sleep, but I just had trouble. I slept in the middle of the row of beds, with Petra to my left and Karliah to my right. She slept well enough, probably dreaming about Gallus or what ever. I turned to Petra, who was laying there, but I wondered if she was awake at all.

I fought for sleep itself but it just didn't come. I laid there, with my hands behind my head looking up at the cave rock ceiling, thinking and trying to sleep.

I heard Petra shuffle about and get off the bed.

"Can't sleep either lass?" I asked.

She turned around. I was curious as she'd had her head down and walked with a stagger in her step. It was strange, more like she was sleep walking from the looks of it. I watched her as she came closer to my bed. She stopped and was still for the moment, before collapsing. I quickly adjusted myself to catch her, but she kind of just dropped onto my chest, arms splaying.

"Hi...there." I said, nervous. My face heated up dramatically. As a result, my heart beat faster, sweating increased and nerves wrangled.

She lifted her head and rested her chin on my cheek. Her eyes were closed. She seriously had to be sleep walking.

"Can't sleep?"

It was more awkward that we were in our Nightingale armour but it wasn't all too uncomfortable, seemingly summoned to fit our bodies. The armour on her looked nice in all places. I'd uhh..preferred to look at her cute little face.

"Mmmm..." She mumbled.

I was stunned as she randomly slid herself up on the bed beside me. By Shor this was making me feel worse. My stomach filled itself with butterflies and I was really gonna struggle for sleep. I moved to side a bit more so she could fit. This bed really wasn't made for two people so it got cramped quickly. But we figured it out, with her little body curving around me. My face was red hot by this point as her head was really close to mine. I almost jumped as she opened her eyes. I bit my lip.

"Something...something on your mind?" I asked. I wasn't cold, this armour was warmer than the armour I was wearing before, but I was still shaking from anxiety.

Her eyelids must have been heavy as she took slow and laboured blinks. I was clumsy, shuffling my arm around to put my hand behind her back.

"I...I dunno...you think we still will be able to defeat Mercer? He has Molag Bal behind his back you know." She muttered to me.

I still distinctly remember that discussion we had earlier. Mercer had a made a huge mess of things and screwed the Guild over for all it was worth. And now we are paying for his mistakes. And for what Mercer had done to Petra still made me furious and outright bled fury and fire for the man...no...the monster.

But I have confidence in Petra to do the right thing when the time came. Like cut him like a fish like she did with the dragons.

"As long as you're by our side lass, we'll send him straight to Oblivion." I whispered with confidence and a warm smile.

I saw her blush and make a cheeky grin. I slid my hand over to her chin and looked into both of her eyes. My own were hazy and half-lidded and she helped me feel better about it. I stroked her chin, then rubbed her cheek slowly. I think she was actually fighting sleep rather than resisting it.

"Why are you...so nice to me?" She'd ask, her voice croaky.

I swallowed hard. I had no no idea what to say. I was really lost in those gorgeous eyes of hers. I was all wrong. I was nervous, I was shivering, my chest pumping harder than it ever was and I was soon to be out of breath, so I started to breath heavily through my nose. I'd never had someone make me feel that way before. She..she didn't...I never said anything about my...uh...feelings. Sorry, I had to swallow my saliva again. I'd been with women before, aye, but this was completely different. We were intimate without saying much to each other...I uh..didn't know if she knew without me telling her. It just felt...right...that while she's pretty pissed of how the world has treated her, she'd taken revenge out on those who deserved it. I'd earn the honour of her appreciation and yet I don't have the gall to just...tell her.

Those cute cheeks, rosy red. The lass was glowing. I...I wanted to kiss her. I wanted...I wanted touch her. And...please her...I just wanted her.

She was so warm too. By Gods why do you make me feel this way? I had a thousand butterflies in my stomach. I was so tempted to grab her face and press it against mine.

But that would be disrespectful. But with her grabbing my hand and intertwining hers into mine, locking our fingers, gave birth to a strike of burning energies.

"I know I've...been a pain Bryn." She whispered, on the very verge of falling asleep.

I shook my head jaggedly, no. She's been the best we've ever had. She's gained the respect of the most important holds of Skyrim just by simply doing her job. And we need someone like that to lead us. I'd help of course.

"No...no...lass...not...not at all...uh...you've been nothing but good to us. Brought the Guild back on it's feet. And now we're finally getting somewhere...how...how do you feel?"

She shrugged.

"I...I have had mostly hesitation. But you...you and Karliah have been good to me. I...I'm sorry..."

She looked down, before breaking contact and sliding herself off the bed. I sat up and stood up beside her as she stood there with a frown on her face.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She sighed. I just wanted to make sure. But she made me so warm, fuzzy and pleasant that it made my skin tingle. It could have been the armor as well but eh...I wanted to make her feel...better. I felt selfish in wanting her near me but I ultimately knew that I could help her. Like I always have.

"What if...what if we don't survive? What if Mercer dominates and kills us before we even have a chance to strike?" She stated.

I browed and stood firm, despite her riling me up with her closeness. Instead, I turned her around via grabbing her shoulders and spinning her to me. I then grabbed her hand, still a bit wrecked, and pulled her towards me. I sat on the bed, then put her on my lap. She bit her lip, which was...just...cute. Do I normally use those words? I don't think so. My heads a bit...muffled by all this. Apologies. My guess you wouldn't normally have this type of connection with other people normally. It became natural between us and I liked that. That great feeling you get from holding another and letting them know they're alright.

Aye, I never ever do this. Petra is my exception and...my love...Gods, I am so bad at this.

But as I stare into her hazy eyes once more, my lips ache to touch hers. I wanted a taste for myself to know for sure that what my heart was telling was more than true. Just...let me...once have some kind of happiness. I'm a thief...and doubts that cloud my mind hold me back constantly. But how am I ever going to know what it is if I don't find out. It just seemed so disrespectful to take advantage of her like that. But we were touching one another and I found my eyes wandering and smoothing at her lips. My heart could jump out of my chest

"Petra...I...uh..you're...uh...Shor.._.this_..." I stumbled badly.

The power of my words no longer worked. But she smiled at me.

She then rested her head and cradled it on my chest underneath my chin. She just wanted me to hold her. And hold her I will. I caressed her with my thumb, even though she was wearing armour. And it was then as I embraced her with my arms, that she too, was tense and shaking as much as me.

I was...making the lass nervous as well? How careless of me? But maybe she was waiting for something.

"Bryn...if it's not too much to ask...can I...can I stay here with you? I just want...I just want to be..here...with you. I feel better when you're...near..." She stuttered.

I had to swallow my own saliva again. I nodded. She wanted to be here...with me. Of course. I'd love to!

"Aye, sure." I spoke softly.

I laid back on the bed, still wracked with nerves. Both of us were really clumsy and ungainly as we fumbled about, trying to find a comfortable position. I guess we were both messed up in terms of having no idea what we were doing.

Okay, I'll be honest again like I was before. I've...never actually been with a woman. I've practiced flirting but been too busy to uh...chase...ahem...yeah I am kinda shameful of that. But I just want this to go right. But after hearing what happened between her and Mercer, I didn't want to trigger anything yet, not until and if she's willing, to uh...sort of...you know...the thing...that's if she's okay with and if she does actually feel the same way about me...of course. I'd know what to do...it's not like I've never...read up...on those...uhhh...things

Shor's skull I was burning up. We at last found something that was comfortable after silently apologizing to one another for the past few minutes. It was amusing to know how useless both of us were about this. I guess neither of us have been this intimate with anyone it seems...or maybe because it was actually a single bed.

I heard her giggle softly as we adjusted ourselves. It was a game to her as I smiled lightly and rolled my eyes. She'd laid half her body on me and her head continued to rest itself into the crook of my neck. One arm was weighed down but then found its way around her back. She wrapped her arm of what she could of my own body. I kept forgetting how big I was to her. No! Not in that way!

I felt her warm, heavy breath on my neck and it gave me goosebumps. I smiled and looked down at her, who squeezed me.

"We'll sleep...then we kick Mercer's ass." She said softly with smile.

Thank my nerves I squeezed her back, before we finally fell asleep.


	31. Irkngthand

**AN: Yeah I feel bad that Petra has put up with a lot and sadly looks to have to deal with a lot more, as you'll soon discover.**

**Chapter 31  
Irkngthand**

I was tired, I'd admit, but I couldn't help but think of Molag's words. I wanted to be seen as strong to live but I'd rather not have all the attention on me, if that was okay. But when you're someone like me, it gets harder to avoid all the people out for your blood, and that doesn't stop at the mortals.

I...laid with Brynjolf because I just wanted someone close to me and he as the only one I could just feel comfortable and relaxed with. But he doesn't deserve the crap he puts up with. I don't deserve him since all this time I feel like I've just been a burden on him, yet he hardly complains. I think he might even enjoy it. I don't know, man's hard to read sometimes. But I needed a warm body near me to make sure I was still alive. And every time I was even remotely close to Bryn, I was a lot happier. Not many people can claim that. I've done my work for the Guild and earned the respect from my comrades. Months ago, I stated the distance between me and anyone else to tell them to stay out of my own business. But Bryn and Karliah were the ones who refused to back down on me after I'd been incredibly stubborn.

After...Mercer, I didn't think Bryn would even dare to look at me. I'm cursed for bad luck in more ways than one. I want a piece of happiness, just to experience it once without events turning south for the worst. But he's just...a big, cuddly, teddy bear.

The thoughts quite amusing I assure you friend. The way his rugged face smiled at me and his red hair often got caught in his face. My face gets red thinking about it. But then I think about what I have to do and wonder if I'm even worth the pain and agony in the end. I want to be free of this...restraint but it buckles me down to Oblivion every time I try to reach out.

If I'm honest with myself, touching...Bryn, just let me know I was still on Nirn. I wanted to hear his breath and his voice and that was the only thing I cared about...truly. And Karliah of course, she hasn't been around this long but I hold the utmost respect for her.

But this was not the type of situation the Guild was used to. The powers of strange and old magics afoot, and we were smack in the middle of it. We're your over the top thugs but our connection to another realm took the Guild to another level. Again, with Bryn taking this on his stride, all for revenge on Mercer, is just the sacrifice needed to give us an edge. I felt sorry for him, having to kill his own mentor. Bryn was subtle and often overly emotional. He'd stuttered his words around. Funny. He can give but he can't take. He's given so much for the Guild and for me personally that he's not used to stuff given to him. He's a thief, he just steals.

And, I really apologize for this horrendous pun, but I'm pretty sure, he'd stolen my heart.

Occasionally I get the pit in my gut, I'd get it confused with sensations of guilt and the fear. I do feel slightly more confident with the new get up, but ultimately, I can't make sense of what I'm actually supposed to be feeling. It wasn't as raw, but it was certainly up there in the mass of tangled emotions. Bryn is a good man, but he's just misguided, like me...

I understand that thieving was all he knew, but he could be better than what he is. I've never underestimated him. I've only just wanted to protect him, like he's protected me. He deserves a lot more than what he's gotten and I will make sure he gets the best of life. We both hold ourselves back for a variety of reasons. For me, just torrents of gargantuan creatures just want to kill me for what I am. I am supposed to be a threat to them. I don't feel like that threat though. The Gods wanted me for something big and I'm trying to wrap my head around why still.

But Bryn just...how can I say it...gets involved when it's not his problem to deal with. Dragons I mean. I want him with me to see the Greybeards of course and we'll get there, I know it. We'd hold hands, making sure one another doesn't fall. But I highly doubt they'll take in a nobody. Especially from someone from the Thieves Guild. A liar, a scoundrel. The stereotypical traits of our kind. But we're still Nords at heart.

As he held me there that night, I slept better. I dreamed better dreams. Dreams that just filled in the wounds and made me forget the troubles for a bit. It was pleasant. Because Bryn was just there, holding me and not letting go.

When we were staring at each other, silently, I watched his eyes dart around my face. We must have been floating as his face was just, oddly relaxed but I could see sweat dripping from his forehead. I'd been wracking his nerves a bit lately haven't I? How selfish of me. Heh...

I wanted..to feel the brush of his beard against my face, then his cracked lips to clash with mine, tongues having a sword fight with one another. I longed to taste his mouth. But...

Having said that, would have locked us in a rousing uncertainty for the both of us and what we wanted and expected out of each other. Men like him don't come around that often. And Gods be damned things were complicated as is!

_Buuuut_ enough about that. I could be sappy all day can't I? Although when we did awaken, I was somehow on my side, with Brynjolf still sleeping but now behind me, spooning me, to my embarrassment...

I stayed there for a bit, not wanting to disturb him. He had his chest rubbing up against my back and I smiled at his breathing and shivered as his breath made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

But then again I felt, something slither on my lower back. Somewhat smooth...though it was just awkward considering we were still in the armour and cloaks and stuff were everywhere. Not exactly good sleeping gear.

I was astounded, eyes widened when something hard was causing friction against my lower back. Surely he was asleep? By the Gods...

I must have blushed really badly. To consider the very thought of...his actual...arousal was disturbing and oddly mirthful. But I couldn't let him do that. Or did I?

Mercer's...own..degrading spiked memories. But this was Brynjolf, I could trust him. I was hesitant and dark clouds loomed over head. I was sure he knew when to stop.

The rubbing began more rigid and constant. I gulped.

"_Mmmm..._" He moaned softly.

By Talos...seriously? My face flushed and I put my hand in between my legs, biting my lip as my loins began to have a warm sensation.

Petra, don't...I know you like it but this wasn't the time nor place for doing such things.

Was Mercer right? Did Brynjolf...just want to get in my pants this entire time? I wouldn't believe it. He's just...dreaming. He's gotta be.

"_Mmmm Petra..._"

I gritted my teeth and made an awkward expression then shook my head as a pang hit me and all sorts of dread got into my mind, bringing back bad memories.

I elbowed him in the gut, then jumped off the bed. I'd been met with an _oof_ upon contact, startling Bryn awake and holding his stomach, having such a rude...awakening.

"By Shor...urgh...what was that for?" He asked, left gasping.

I stood there, left unhappy and with a scowl on my face. I rested my centre of gravity on one side with my arms crossed. So not pleased since...the event still left me slightly scarred.

"Because Little Bryn decided he'd like to get into the action." I scolded, eyeing the thing off with irritation.

Brynjolf looked down briefly and got almost fell off the bed. Karliah, funnily enough, was no where to be seen. Must have been waiting for us outside or something. Poor Dunmer puts up with a lot of crap. She has been waiting twenty-five years, so I'd predict she had a lot of patience. I think.

He then got up and adjusted himself.

"Oh...oh. Apologies Petra I-"

"Save it Bryn, Mercer was right, you just wanted a little R&R didn't you?" I berated with a deathly stare.

He shook his head and back-pedaled quite quickly. I honestly couldn't tell. I was just mad at it. He's knew what had happened and yet...

"Lass no..I...I didn't mean it I swear!" He called out, his voice low with shame. Typical males. I rolled my eyes.

"Don't bother. Let's just go. Karliah is waiting for us outside."

* * *

We made the trip with our horses to go up to Irkngthand. Karliah to the lead and I followed. I couldn't bare to look at Brynjolf at the moment. I'd...I was mad at him but I didn't hate him. I wanted to understand but I thought it'd be best for the both of us to stay clear of one another for the moment. I can't risk him like this. It was too complicated for me to see things and my emotions were in constant flux. But I concentrated and treated this as any other job that was required of me. If I stayed away from Bryn, we would be able to get this done quicker and be on our way.

We passed the woods of the Rift, passed Windhelm and into the northern snowy sector of the province. We parked our horses nearby and came across the exterior of the dwemer ruin. This must have been the place.

It was packed with bandits and with the three of us we took them down with ease. But each of us were killing them with such graceful movements of our bows and our daggers. None of them stood a chance. Nocturnals gift was really shining through.

Our bodies flowed around like a river of quicksilver, our capes flying around in the tendrils of the wind. We were ebony-caste shadows contrasting against the harsh white snow and glistened alongside the brass-like metals that adorned the ruins themselves, as if they were only built yesterday.

Soon the outside was filled with dead bodies and splashes of crimson. None of them stood a chance, as the screams ceased. What a blood bath.

We found the entrance and wandered inside.

It was like your typical Dwemer ruin. Filled with automatons, Falmer...we came across dead bodies...more bandits though they were like that when we got there. Mercers doing, no doubt. We navigated our way through various traps. We went in deeper, finding Mercer sneaking up on a Falmer and assassinating it. Brynjolf tried to find a way around but grumbled when he couldn't We proceeded and fought off more dwemer and automatons. But then once it was quiet again, we tried to sneak around a bit more.

It'd been tense between the three of us, all having different reasons for hating Mercer. Karliah, for framing her, Brynjolf for lying to him and to me, for...THAT.

But we all agreed that he'd betrayed the Guild and now that you think about it, was actually the reason for the Guilds decline. If what Karliah had said was true, then Mercer was the cause of our luck running dry. He really must have it in for Nocturnal or something. I don't full know the wider scope of it all. He had to die. Simple as that.

The three of us were all angry, furious even. But we functioned well as a team and I could feel confidence in that. Working together, for the first time, felt...good. We all trusted one another with our lives and it was crucial, that we believed in ourselves. Perhaps that is the true power, of the Nightingale Trinity.

We kept our cool, watched each others backs. I took this as experience when ever the time came and I had to face a dragon again. As much as I hated it, I knew it would inevitable and unavoidable.

Which was why I had to buckle myself down and work through the narrow paths in this maze phobias and find courage at the end of it. I actually looked forward to it, believe it or not. To get out there and the goal, ultimately to speak with the Greybeards became my light at the end of the tunnel and eventually, the start of something great.

Traipsing in the dark worked to our advantage, given our rigorous experience in the shadows. We'd narrowly avoiding getting detected by large groups of Falmer the further in the ruins we went and the darker it got. Finally, we'd eventually reached towards the end and had to work to very cautious about what was about to happen next.

So this was ultimately for Gallus and for the Guild.

* * *

We carefully entered the final chamber, which nearly sent me awestruck at giant statue of an elf, from what I'd read, it'd been a Snow Elf before they degraded into the abominable falmer. We heard shuffling towards its head, seeing Mercer picking out some kind of white glowing stone from its eye socket.

"He's here and he hasn't seen us yet. Brynjolf, watch the door." I heard Karliah whisper.

"Aye, lass. Nothing's getting by me." Brynjolf replied.

Karliah then turned to me. This had to be planned carefully.

"Climb down that ledge and see if you can..."

Sudden silence.

"Karliah, when will you learn you can't get the drop on me?" Mercer called out, scaring the Oblivion out of me.

The ground started the shake beneath us. We'd fallen down slightly, but we still gained foot hold. Mercer dropped down from where he was and walked on to the book park of the statue, overlooking me.

I could feel that same stare piercing right through, like it did that one time outside Snow Veil Sanctum. My heartbeat rate went up and I was already sweating.

"When Brynjolf brought you before me I could feel a sudden shift in the wind. And at that moment, I knew it would end with one of us at the end of a blade." Mercer called out to me. There something even darker in him that I saw this time but I wasn't sure what it was.

"But...I sense you've met out mutual friend. Haven't you? Hmph...so, it went exactly as he'd predicted it would."

I squinted at him, having no idea what he was talking about.

"I don't care who's told you what. You're not getting away with this!" I called out to him, with all the spite I could muster.

Mercer though spat on my attempts and gave an evil smirk and chuckle, brushing me off easily.

"Very well then. I'm not surprised you're still alive. I hold nothing but contempt for you but your skills as a Thief are nearly on par with mine. But I have bigger plans ahead. You see, our friend set this all up. For you."

I blinked. Brynjolf and Karliah stepped forward in front of me.

"What in blazes are you talking about Mercer?" Brynjolf questioned. I could hear the disdain in the red-haired mans tone.

Mercer held the key in his hand. I wandered further to observe the daedric artifact in his hand. With all that smugness was just. UGH!

"Nocturnal was a fool. She gave us this tool to use for limitless wealth. After I'd pledged myself to Molag Bal, I would be set free from the confounds of mortality...and given more potential and power than anyone could imagine!" Mercer boasted. His voice gave me shivers but I refused to stand down.

"Petra. Sweet, _dear_ Petra. You were the funnest I had to play with. But we haven't finished just yet."

He stated. I gulped but continued to glare at him with powerful venom.

"You're **insane** Mercer!" Karliah cried. Her voice had never been so...intense before.

And I actually heard Bryn growling. This was getting interesting yet scary at the same point. I remained focused. I heard scuffling about, when I looked behind me as Bryn started to attack Karliah. What in Oblivion...

"What's... what's happening... I can't stop myself." Brynjolf cried out, swinging his blades at the dunmer.

"Fight it, Brynjolf... he's taken control of you!" Karliah shouted.

_That bastard..._

"I'm sorry lass, I... I can't..." Brynjolf sounded so saddened and frustrated with himself. I couldn't let this happen.

"Damn you Mercer!" Karliah was busy defending herself, not wanting to hurt Bryn.

And that just made me...snap.

I felt it boil up from my stomach and through my veins. I felt so angry and wanted to kill Mercer so much, but I'd acted calm as I put my bow away, and pulled out both the Nightingale blade and the blade Chillrend, that I stole from Mercers house. I wanted him to die by his own weapon of mass destruction. I wanted him to bleed. I wanted him to suffer, as I had suffered.

I charged at him with the bulk of my strength, but slowly. Mercer crawled around like a coward and often disappeared out of nowhere. We had our major skirmish as we crossed blades in the clashes of the fierce, enchanted metals. But Mercer made that face that just made me ill, but the fire in me was too strong to ignore as I continued my attempts to take the monster down.

We must have gone up and down the staircases nearby. I had to take advantage of what I had. We met on the top of the head of the statue. He forced me to step back. He had his sword ready, but was deliberately walking forward and I knew he was attempting to drop me off it.

No chance.

I dived forward, rolling underneath his swing and forced him into the same position he was at. I held my blades to him. I had one power he could never have.

"Well looky here, someone's learned to defend themselves. It's a damn wasted effort though. Molag will get what he wants." Mercer stated.

I still didn't care what who wanted. All I cared about was Mercer, dead. I smirked myself this time. I wasn't sure if that my expression was getting to him, but he was prepared to take anything I'd throw at him.

Good.

I inhaled deeply...

"**_FUS!"_** I shouted, sending a gust of powerful winds towards Mercer. It was enough force to knock him off his feet, much to his surprise. He stumbled a bit, before falling off the head.

Good.

The fire in me burned with a brighter intensity. I ran and jumped off the head myself with my two blades pointing towards. I fell down, seeing Mercer on his back. I laded on his body with a big thud, digging my blades into his chest and screaming at him. I heard the scuffling nearby stop for a moment, but I was busy searching for the despair and regret in Mercer's face.

Instead, he still had that same stupid expression and actually laughed as blood poured from his mouth. I gritted my teeth as I dug the blades in deeper, making him gasp.

"What's so damned funny?" I breathed coldly. So much had lead to this. This had to be the end!

"You're talented, but you're not very bright are you?" Mercer sputtered out.

Mercer liked to make those stupid taunts of nonsense.

I looked down as I felt a moist feeling in my gut. I saw blood drip from my torso. I pressed my finger against it and looked at the crimson on the tips on my fingers.

**Shit.**

He wrenched his blade in harder, like I had done to him and I winced and gasped.

"**PETRA!**" Brynjolf shouted in disbelief.

I tasted iron in my mouth and it was my turn for blood to drip out. I felt a flush, then suddenly felt cold and numb. I'd been blind to the pain itself. I began coughing it up, but I made sure I coughed it up in Mercer's stupid face.

"You and I have unfinished business with our master." He said coldly, without flinching. He could he remain so calm while his organs were bleeding out.

I glared at him, struggling to breath, with every time I inhaled it stung all over. I became mostly numb to everything as static started ringing in my ears, deafening me to the world. If I died here, I would take Mercer with me and let the Gods decide my fate. I wasn't sure if this was what had to be done or what. It was never clear. The Gulild was my priority and as I cried more in frustration that in pain, I gritted my teeth and spat on him again as I was desperate for air, my breath becoming laboured and intense.

Brynjolf and Karliah better get the Oblivion out!

"**MOLAG, TAKE US!**" Mercer roared, with a redness covering both his eyes that spilled confusion and darkness within me.

I saw a flash of an unnatural violet and everything went dark.

_Unthankfully..._


	32. Coldharbour

**AN: I should rename this story as, Petra, and all the crazy crap that keeps happening to her for no reason other than she's Dragonborn and I'm glad you're all enjoying the twists and turns, because, as always...it's going to get much, much worse.**

**Chapter 32**  
**Coldharbour.**

It becomes such an enigma, that everything after Helgen became less boring, but more dangerous, but why did nothing happen before hand? Was Cyrodiil that much of a hindrance to the eager, destructive and tenacious people? Did it become useless after the war? The Aldmeri Dominion made their point, but now we have worse things to worry about.

Now I feel like a hindrance. To everybody. All these terrible events that happen to me. You wonder why I'd bother to keep going. I'll linger if I have to do. I won't die until I'm destined to. Dragonborns exist for a reason and I highly doubt this was going to be the way it was intended. A speckle in the streams of time, a blemish on the course of destiny. That sort of crap.

Getting stabbed certainly doesn't help matters. For a thief like me, you stare at me and wonder what part of life will involve the crucial parts the Gods placed me in. Did they know all this would occur? Did they foresee it? Do they do nothing because interference is forbidden among the omnipresent?

I'd rage against the Gods themselves but you face facts and know it's futile. I'm just...getting tired.

I'm Doom-driven. Petra Doom-Driven. I'll have a nord name given to me one day. For now I'm just Petra.

Petra the Dragonborn Thief. I steal souls for a living. Dunno, not up to me decide. Dovahkiin is a common moniker in the Dragon tongue I believe. What ever was up all those years of deplorable studies.

Yet, Talos looks down upon me. I sense his eyes on me, ever watchful. I am him reincarnate.

Yes I'm talking to you Talos, who knows what I am and what I am capable of. Your buddy Akatosh gives birth to my immortal spirit and I'm wondering why?

Questions like that never get answered. The constant question I ask myself all the time. Why all the commotion and hassle for someone like me?

I am a hunter and I am hunted. I am supposed to be a conqueror like you? Have you actually watched me? I'm been tossed around like a piece of meat. I am nothing like you. A miserable pile of bones and flesh while you sit on your throne of steel and a made of light and shadow.

* * *

I'd awoken with the sharp pain in my gut, By the Gods how many times have I been stabbed their already? But the world I was in definitely wasn't in the ruins I was in before. The sky was aflame with a dark blue blaze and the scent of this place tended to changed rapidly. I wanted to prong my nose since it'd go from sweet-scent to rancid in split seconds. I spat more blood out as I attempted to stand. I found the Nightingale blade and Chillrend lying on the ground nearby, next to a drop trail of blood that lead into the darkness.

Dead black trees dotted the landscape as I standing on the middle of the blue hue ground. Looking around, I could a lake of a disgusting black sludge that bubbled about. Gross.

I hobbled around, pressing my hand against my wound. I couldn't see much, since this realm was so dark.

I remembered Mercer ranting about something before the lights went out. With the reclamation of my blades, the origin of the trail became obvious. I held the Nightingale Blade in one hand, since it'd obviously was hard carrying two mind you. I'd like to carry both but you know, when you're pretty much bleeding to death, you don't have much choice.

I kept following the trickles, staggering about and feeling light headed and out of breath. As smells developed, my nose burned under it's influences. I don't think I want to smell a damn thing if I get out of here alive.

I gasped for air with nearly every slow dragged step, but it was often cut short with a hiss when the pain sometimes got too unbearable. I could see cracks of a blue light emerging from the earth nearby, going towards a giant tower in the distance.

What ever drove me to head there was anyone's guess. But you know, the blood trail did head in that direction after all. Mercer would have headed there of course. Because dramatic situations like this demand dramatic endings inside creepy buildings and over-the-top soliloquies. Cliché.

Bear with me though. I'm just, you of all people know me by now. I'm putting one foot in front of the other, inhaling, exhaling and pushing past the pain. Isn't that what heroes do?

I am a damned thief. What made you think that a thief would make a good choice in all of this? Seriously. One of my daily repeatable questions. I'll carry on for you, friend. I'm not dead just yet.

Eventually I got to the tower. Amazing how I survived, but in the loss of blood, I fell before it's height. It looked like it was riddled in excrement, it's once shining white now stained in a terrible brown mess. Disgusting. Spires were placed around it, its curved shape heavily damaged.

"I should have known you'd be alive."

I was on my hands and knees, grasping my blade in my hand and under pressure to breath heavily. I looked up to see Mercer, standing before me in his 'humble' arrogance and just complacent smile. There was something definitely off about him this time.

"I'm not surprised either. But, both of us are here. You brought me here. I'd wager you'd want to finish this in a way that will make history. That will call upon us to make into the books." I mocked as I glared at him.

Mercer crossed his arms. His armour was still bloodied, but his eyes were fierce garnets and glistened underneath the harsh burnt sky.

"I'm sensing you like the taste of the past. So do I. Here's a lesson. Molag Bal once attempted to merge this world with Nirn back in the second era. So the crap that went on during the Oblivion Crisis, had nothing on that." He explained, still full of the superior hot he so accumulated.

I rose an eyebrow.

"So...you're gonna make it happen again?" I asked sarcastically. I'm almost stunned I had the strength to be sarcastic. Now who's the arrogant one?

Mercer shook his head though.

"No...no. That stuffs not for me. I wouldn't mind if it did. But you see that tower over there?"

I looked at the disgusting piece of crap.

"What about it?"

Mercer chuckled. Gods I wanted to shove my blade so down is damn throat the tip would rip out his ass and split him in two.

"That's this realms version of the White Gold Tower. You're from Cyrodiil aren't you? I'm disappointed you didn't recognise it."

He was right. I was a Nord living in Cyrodiil but never got the chance to visit the Imperial City. Would have been nice to see it still if I wasn't tied to Skyrim. But my heart sunk just looking at it.

"Molag gave it to me as a gift. My new home. Beautiful isn't it? Represents the same muck that Mundus has, the tainted, the broken. Perfect for someone like you."

I growled at him and gnarled my teeth.

"Very funny Mercer." I muttered with sarcasm once more.

"I like how you compare it to yourself."

Mercer's creepy smile widened, revealing oddly sharpened teeth.

"Oh I don't mind. It's homely enough. Soon to be home to you as well. Molag likes you. It's rare Molag even lets weaklings like you live but I'm willing to stake my chances that he sees you as a potential daughter."

I blinked and regained my foothold after coughing up more blood.

"What are you on about?"

He grinned. Those teeth...the eyes. It makes sense now. No wonder I felt such odd vibes earlier.

"See, Molag informed me of your...little problem. And I think we can help each other. You're Dragonborn which I thought it was nothing but a joke at first but when you shouted at me I originally thought you were just too pretty and young to be considered as one of the Greybeards."

I rolled my eyes. Shameless. Absolutely shameless.

"There's...a certain ritual that can make you into people like me. A pure, blooded vampire."

My eyes widened. By the Gods...

I gritted my red-stained teeth.

"Ritual? What makes you think I'm willing to partake in such a pathetic abstraction? What good does making me a Vampire do?"

Mercer pouted. My desire to rip his face off grew with every moment. Must be the light-headedness.

"Molag made me his pawnbroker for the occasion. See, you died that day at Snow Veil Sanctum, except you survived. Don't exactly know how but you know what? Doesn't matter. We can still do this regardless."

I gave a strained chuckle. Oh he underestimated me _so, so much._

"Karliah saved my life. The woman you tried to frame, saved me. You see, so many people that you've wronged are biting you in the ass as we speak."

My voice was hoarse but I didn't care. The hatred I had for this...monster was overwhelming.

I felt something cold grab my neck but couldn't see it. I was dragged off the ground via some kind of invisible hand and bashed up against the wall of the tower.

"How ironic..." Mercer said coldly, an echo in his voice started to stir.

"I don't think anyone will be able to bite as hard as me...you see..."

He dropped me as I tried to stand, but I got my grip on a nearby ledge. My vision was a touch blurred, coming in and out of focus. I watched Mercer's body being encased in a cocoon of blood.

I shield myself as it exploded, revealing a gangling looking creature, with grey skin, thin bone structure wings and a horrifying face, adorned with odd gold-coloured jewels, like some weird ass crown and a red patterned loin cloth. Almost naked, his hands were long and thin, with claw like finger nails.

He snarled out me with his elongated fangs and dead eyes of ebony. He floated there, baring down on me coldly.

"This is what we're giving you Petra. Molag has chosen you to lead and partake in a fantastic expedition to cause chaos and destruction where ever you go." He boasted, his voice even more garbled and chaotic.

I gritted my teeth and witheld a grunt of pain as it shot through me from my wound.

"Mercer...you're truly mad. I have no love for any of that. My only love is to see your head rolling around the ground and being desecrated." I shouted, hissing through my teeth.

His laugh echoed around me, sending chills. I wasn't going to let this get to me.

"But wouldn't you be a Queen of the Night? The way you can still steal from those around you a lot easier with abilities that improve your skills a Master Thief like me..." He boasted, clenching his fist.

"You enjoyed our time in the snow. I felt it within you. I gave you pleasure...you wriggled against me and thrashed about like a relentless whore."

I was shaking with rage.

"No..." I said calmly. "You stole my dignity. You're a Master Thief alright. But you're also a Master Prick."

Mercer laughed.

"Gotta steal something darlin'. You know, like you know, your female associates from the Guild."

I looked around me as familiar figures walked towards Mercer. I squinted at them...one wearing brown thieves guild armour, another wearing the grey variant and another wearing the black Guild Master variant. I gasped with shock, but was cut off by the throbbing agony.

"The Guild is useless with Nocturnal. I have this key! We can have this key...together..." Mercer called out, taking the girls into his arms.

No...Sapphire...Vex...Tonilia...

"Mercer..._you._.." I sputtered out again, with tears rolling down my eyes. They surrounded him and stared at me. Their eyes. They had to be possessed or, they definitely weren't themselves. What in Oblivion. I was half-sobbing and half trying to catch what ever breath I had from all the fury left in my heart...that was growing stronger by the moment.

"So you think you can take matters into your own hands? No. Mercer. Enough is enough!"

I got up. And by the Gods did it hurt! It hurt so much but I refused to care and let it take me down. I charged forward, staggered and awkward and opened my mouth.

"_**YOL!**_" I shouted at him.

The flow of the flames surrounded him. He pushed the girls to the ground and disappeared into a cluster of bats, only to reappear behind me and wrap his arms around my body. Slippery bastard.

He put his mouth to my hear and the smell of his breath was much worse than what this realm could conjure up in the matter of seconds. I struggled against him.

"_I love it when you talk dirty..._" I whispered in my ear...sounded like vomit to my ears.

"But this is Coldharbour...where only the strongest may win. Molag only wants the strongest...and nothing less."

I kicked and screamed as he dragged me inside the tower itself, and I watched the girls who had the most uncanny and out of character smiles follow us in and take their positions around me.

The room was decorated with various jewels and artefacts, none of which I'd never even seen before. A circle of stairs floated to the top with what must have been hundreds of doors.

The floor was marble with a black skull pattern.

Mercer plunked me on the floor in the middle. I held myself as I shook violently, baring my own teeth at him and my eyes giving out razor sharp stairs.

"You're still resisting. I see. So...here's what's going to happen. I'm going to finish the ritual. Okay, and then you'll become a pure-blooded Vampire like me, except you'll be on more equal grounds. Then we fight. We fight to see who's stronger. What do you think?"

I clenched and unclenched my spare fist.

"Or do I have to find ways to convince you? You may not care about your life...but I know how you want Brynjolf in the worst way possible. He's a good man I'll admit. I pity he's so involved in all of this. So loyal and talented. Reaped in a lot of gold for the guild until you came along and broke his spirit. Now he's just...so damned in love with you he can't think straight. And when you're in danger he's hot on your trail and is willing to die for you. He doesn't deserve that."

Oh no you don't. Don't you _dare_ bring Bryn into this.

Mercer you Gods damned, twisted, contrived, blasted, contrived, messed up piece of **SHIT!**

"You touch Bryn and you're...you're gonna burn you miserable wretch! **I HOPE MOLAG TEARS YOU TO PIECES AND SHITS ON YOUR ENTRAILS!**" I roared.

I heard the girls laughing around me. Those laughs weren't normal. They never laughed. Which was more frighting if anything. Mercer floated closer and reached out with his arm, grabbing me again with his vampire magic, choking me.

"I promise I won't touch the lovesick fool. Only if you'll willing to get this over with."

This again? For goodness sake man, SHUT UP!

"How do I know you'll keep your promise?"

Mercer laughed.

"We both cheat, lie and steal to further our own ends. But Brynjolfs loyalty to the Guild is unlike any other. He's done a few things he's not proud of but he gets the job done because it's necessary AND without complaint. Unlike you..."

I smirked. Yes, rebellion against the monster was fun stuff indeed.

"Someone has to stand up to you Mercer. Some one has to have the gall to tell you what you can and cannot do. The world isn't _yours_...and while our actions are the same. We have honour and a proper code to live by just to make sure we aren't compared to the common bandit. We're skilled and we know what we're doing."

Mercer growled and tilted his ugly head at me.

"Nocturnal doesn't care about you or anything to do with the Guild. Living by a code is useless and it wastes time. Especially when something as powerful as the Skeleton Key lays in my grasp."

I leered at him. I felt weaker by the moment, but was supported by pure rage and will.

"I'll let you think about your decision...meanwhile..."

I felt my legs and arms being stretched backwards as Mercer filled my head with gruesome imagery. I could see Vex coming closer to me with a dagger clasped in her hand. I winched as she dug the dagger with a painful slowness. I would have screamed but I stopped the noise by biting my lip hard. I groaned under the pressure.

"Keep trying bitch!" I called out, spitting out more blood.

"The more the better!" I teased.

I felt another dagger at my back. Tonilia's face was stone cold, twisting the blade in deeper.

"_Ack...Try...**again**_!" I taunted, struggling to breath.

It was Sapphire's turn. She put one into my chest, just inches away from my heart. I'd be willing to bet Mercer made her do that on purpose for some kind of stupid poetic nonsense. Typical males wanting to dominate and they love the show they pull acting out like they were God. No. I wasn't going to pulled around.

He didn't want to touch Brynjolf, yet if I didn't bow to his orders he'd kill the man. By the Gods he would do it to. He killed Gallus, a kind enough man who took Mercer in so I don't see any reason why he wouldn't kill Bryn.

But I bared the pain to think about and to plot my next move. I've endured much worse than this. I've lost more of myself if anything, spiritually. But he was right, I am a danger. A danger to Brynjolf who just didn't need this treatment. I was nothing but bad luck to him.

And to call upon Mercer's whim. To turn myself into a vampire. It wasn't something I'd ever see myself doing for the cause either...because they're smelly, rotten things. Makes sense Mercer would be one then.

But...Bryn...I...I loved him. I couldn't stand the though of him being crushed and mocked under Mercers heel. Even so...even if I did give in and become nothing but a slave, he would kill Brynjolf anyway for associating himself with Karliah and Nocturnal...

And me...

Brynjolf, I am so, _so_ sorry. But if I were to have the same strength, be on the same level as Mercer, I would utilise that power to decimate him.

I was bleeding to death yes and I went in and out of consciousness, but most importantly, I could still think and contemplate beyond the sharp agonies I was taking. I had to do this very carefully or else.

There were many pros and cons into becoming a Vampire. I would become stronger which would be a huge benefit...but saying that, not everyone likes a Vampire and be chased out of towns if anyone so much as saw me like this. I looked at the girls.. They were just Mercers thralls. What would happen if I became like that? In terms of falling for the same temptations this monstrosities caved for. No. I could will that away. I'd lock myself away and never come back.

But it became clearer that this had to be the sacrifice I was willing to take. I was dying as is and as much as I'd hate to say it...I needed the power to keep carrying on. I despised myself for even thinking it. I would endure in time and would eventually find a way. There was always a way.

I'd leave Brynjolf and the Guild but it was for the best. I was going to do them more harm then good. But for now, I wanted to pop the head of that snarky, sleazy bastard...once and for all.

"I've already lost so much of myself to you Mercer... There's not much left you can steal from and according to you, I'm already dead..so you better make this quick." I taunted with bated breath.

Then I'd thank him for turning me...and then destroy him. And make him regret every one of his mistakes.


	33. Fangs

**AN: While I say much worse, things still get slightly better...I guess if you can call it that.**

**Chapter 33**  
**Fangs**

The whole ceremony was degrading. I endured the pain of a thousand blades, but cast my mind elsewhere, like to a whole completely different realm of Oblivion. I was penetrated, violated, you name it. But I endured.

And survived.

I feel more comfortable talking about it now. I am no longer human, I don't feel sorry for myself. The others held me down while he did his dirty work on me. I paid no attention to him. I wouldn't want to give him the pleasure of seeing me in pain.

I became numb enough to hardly acknowledge what he was doing. And I liked it. I liked seeing him annoyed and squirming to get my spirit down so hard. He's such an ugly thing. I waited and I waited and distanced myself from my own body for I knew what the future would hold for both of us.

Call it my own stint of arrogance and overconfidence. I was beginning to hold on to the hope of surviving because this wasn't how I was meant to die it all. My ideal was to die in glory of destroying the dragons all of them. I may be in deeper fear of them still, to this day, but for now, I never felt more empowered by myself.

I think I actually confused Mercer a bit. And pretended I enjoyed it. I'm pretty sure he wanted to see me cry and scream but my absolute silence was pissing him off.

_Good._

You know he's made his mistake of messing with me. And he'll _definitely_ pay for it.

After he'd...finished the ritual, I fell back to the ground, hot and flustered by the physical experience. He'd gone back into his...breton form and looked at me. I was butt naked, but my faith in Nocturnal allowed me to bring back the gift of the armour, surrounding me once more after Mercer had ripped it off with his talons. I was surrounded in black smoke for the moment before embracing the comfortable protective guide of Nocturnal herself.

I could tell Mercer was shocked. He had to be. He had to be furious that after all this time Nocturnal still called me her Nightingale. He sneered. Good. Be annoyed, be afraid...

_You've given me strength you son of a bitch!_

"Welcome to the fold, Daughter of Coldharbour. Though it seems you're still in Nocturnals good books. Amusing..." Mercer assured. His welcoming sickened me.

My hot and flustered self lingered. I felt change and death inside of me. No matter. I was...well, more undead if anything but I was embroiled with new confidence.

"You're right. I _did_ enjoy it. Only to see your adorable face make those stupid faces. You're terrible actually, to be honest. That is definitely how you don't please a woman. You must take care of her and she'll take care of you. They call it lovemaking for a reason you know."

Mercer growled. Awww I hurt his pride.

"I don't care about lovemaking. I have done what Molag has asked. Now you're one of us. There is no turning back..."

I shrugged. I would deal with the consequences later.

"Okay, fair enough then. I'm a pure blooded vampire. And you said, you wanted us to be equals? Okay...let's go for it then." I told him, my voice more gravely and demonic.

Mercer laughed.

"I'd thought you'd never ask."

I brought forth the new power inside of me. I held myself in close. I'd never done this before but the energies flowed through my veins like nothing I'd ever felt before. Blood surrounded me as cocoon, like Mercer did before. I bore through the absolute agony that the change brought me as my form shifted and adjusted itself, the spike of shock that spiked out of my back.

I burst out of the cocoon, feeling new sensations all around me and looking at myself with renewed awe, checking my bony thin hands and structure.

"Now _that's_ what I like to see!" Mercer exclaimed. He was very exited about this. And you know what?

So was I.

I extended those thin wing things I had. I was surprised how quickly I adjusted to this, forgetting that my feet were barely touching the ground. But the blood magic flowed right through me. I felt hungry for blood itself though. I expected no less from being a vampire...but luckily I was only out for Mercers blood...so it was okay.

He quickly transformed himself as well and roared into the air. This was going to be good.

I didn't want the girls harmed, so I attempted Mercer's technique to throw them out of the tower, but it didn't work. He laughed.

"They're not going anywhere. They're going to observe and they're going to relay this information to the Guild, that you have cost them greatly by framing me and attempting to kill me as Vampire..." He taunted, throwing a spell at me that I dodged barely.

"And you're nowhere as skilled with this as I am. You thought you could get away with trying to overpower me..."

I _knew_ it...

I charged at him anyway and hissed as I tried to claw him. Nocturnal, give me strength.

We must have tumbled around a lot and kept dodging and weaving around one another. I underestimated him greatly, so it would seem.

Damn it.

I tried as hard as I could though...we jumped at each other, swiped and made each other bleed. We kept hissing and digging the claws in our wings at one another.

Mercer took hold of me and flew us upwards, which took forever. How tall was this tower? We finally reached the top of the tower and smashed right through the roof. We floated there, scarred and bloodied, but they soon healed rather quickly for both us underneath the fire-ridden skies.

"See isn't this fun?" He spoke of it as if it were a game and that from the thrills of violence that he was current reveling in, released the true abomination inside of him.

"We could do this for an eternity. I'm impressed that despite your lack of experience you're capable and worthy of this form. Molag favours you greatly. I'm almost a little jealous." Mercer exclaimed.

I hissed.

"I don't plan on fighting you for that long. No. I have some place I need to be. I was born to be someone and I intend to follow through with that, as long as it takes!"

Mercer chuckled. Seriously, stop acting like you know all the little hidden secrets.

"You'll be hunted. You will be hated. No one will accept you for who you are now. That's fine. You can stay here with me. We can look down on the mere mortals as nothing but blood beef for the taking."

I shook my head.

"No. I will find a way and you will **NOT STOP _ME!_**"

He hissed and shot towards me as he battled one another in the sky-fire. Molag must be having lots of fun watching us duke it out above the fake White-Gold Tower.

"You can still fight the dragons. Spit in the face of the Gods who made them! We both have this power and I can teach you how to use it!" He called out to me, before I dodged his wingclaw aiming for my back.

"I will kill dragons my way..." I spoke with venom and a low tone. I aimed for his throat, with splutters of blood spilling everywhere.

"Suit yourself."

He grabbed hold of me and bit me by my neck, with blood trickling down. I headbutted him off me and I shoved my wing claws into his mouth. With enough power, I tore his ugly face open, ripping out.

Just as I said it would. And it felt so _good_.

He became more ugly because the mess I was making. I'd torn his precious teeth out. It appeared I had to lose what was left of my own humanity to destroy him. To make him into a mockery of what he had done to me. I will violate him instead. _Violate_ the remnants of his sanity, _violate_ his confidence, _violate_ his cock-sureness.

"Big..._mistake_!"

I grabbed hold of him and flew downwards with increasing speed. We fell down the same hole in the tower. I put him underneath me and forced his body with a mighty force into the middle of the of the floor, with rocks and other debris flying everywhere I smashed him through the ground. I jumped off him, looking around. I then felt something in my hand.

I almost jumped as I saw the Mace of Molag Bal in my hands, in all it's spiky and green glowing glory. I'd almost forgotten about it. How it returned to me...Molag.

I walked over to Mercer, who's face was still torn, seeing the insides of his mouth and the flesh and blood everywhere. He was healing, but very slowly.

"_You ungrateful whore!_" He choked as he struggled to get up. He hammered in the end of his wings into the ground.** No.**

I found the Nightingale Blade nearby and chopped both of them off, making him fall into the ground again.

I pressed my foot against his sweaty, grey and veiny chest and dropped the blade on the floor. I leaned over my knee and tilted my ugly mug against the man as I leered at him and gritted my teeth.

"Molag wanted me...to _destroy_ you." I spoke with an eery softness and calm tone.

Mercer coughed.

"I gave him everything he wanted. And this is how he repays me?" He said with actual disbelief.

Betrayal. Fitting.

"You've caused enough pain and anguish Mercer. It is only appropriate that I be the one to decimate you."

He growled.

"Okay then, let me live..._urgh_...and I'll serve you. You'd make a fine Guild Master I'm sure of it."

I gave him a smile that put the fear of his God in him.

"It's too late Mercer. I will unleash it all upon you...no mercy and no holding back. Your spirit will linger here in the ashes of the Coldharbour you called home. Let's see if Molag prefers you."

I rose the mace up into his face...his form then morphed back to his original self. He was such a coward.

His face reforged itself. That was okay, I looked forward to messing it up again.

I grabbed both the Nightingale blade and Chillrend and pierced them through his shoulders, locking his use of his arms. I stood on his feet. He shifted and tried to move. But he held in his screams.

Such a pathetic coward.

I stood before him with the curious tilt yet again, trying to figure out how I was going to do this.

I contemplated the angle and the art of how I was going to torment him so. I smiled.

My face instantly changed that to rage as I gripped the mace tight and smashed Mercer in the face, with blood bursting everywhere. I continued to bash the shit out of him as much as I could.

It made me feel better. I hissed and roared as I brutally beat his body to bits as much as I could.

The release was so nice and almost orgasmic. I morphed back into my normal form, but continued to bash the monster. Everywhere was getting bloody and I was getting blood everywhere. I screamed and cried.

"DIE! _DIE! **DIE!**_" I shouted.

**"DIE YOU SON OF A BITCH!"**

He was already most likely dead but I didn't care. I was unleashing, letting go of all my hatred, pain and sorrow.

* * *

I soon became exhausted and I mellowed down quite a bit. I looked at the beaten down corpse of Mercer, his blood and guts everywhere. I puffed and panted and looked at the crimson stained mace before me. I looked at Mercer again and dropped it, hurling out after what I saw.

My body became flushed and sweaty again, shaking. What have I become?

I dropped the mace and fell to my knees, looking down at the ground.

I heard voices before me. I turned to see Vex, Sapphire and Tonilia on the other side of the room, returning to their senses.

"Does anyone know what the...by the Gods..." Tonilia mumbled, before seeing the mess in the middle of the room.

Vex squinted.

"Is that..."

I looked at my hands. I was shaking violently and crying. No...no what...

Sapphire's eyes widened.

"What is...Petra is that you?"

The girls ran over, seeing the beaten down remnants of their former Guild Master. I held my head in shame and cried into my hands.

"Oh mercy. What in Oblivion just happened? And what is that smell?" Tonilia questioned, sniffing the air.

She saw me on the ground and bucked down right beside me.

"Petra, Petra speak to me. What's going on..."

I couldn't bare to look at her.

"I'm sorry guys...I..."

Vex picked me off the ground.

"Up you get. Seriously, it's gross there. You don't want to look at it any longer. Lets head out and figure out where we are."

The girls dragged me outside and were stunned at what they were staring at. I was relieved that they were okay.

"This place is just weird. The smell is nice one moment and then it's like...someones ass the next." Sapphire complained with her hands on her hips.

"We're in Coldharbour..." I choked out.

Vex looked at me strangly.

"And where in Oblivion is that..." She asked.

I rolled my eyes.

"You...just answered your own question."

Vex blinked.

"Wait, you can't be serious..."

The air shifted, as everything around us suddenly got darker. Tonilia took in me in close, made sure I was okay, surprisingly.

"Ahh...that was amusing to witnessa... I thought Mercer was a coward...He was mostly all talk in the end. His spirit unimportant, but will be claimed once I find it. Thank you. I now will let you go back to your realm, with all the prizes I can muster for you. You deserve it...my daughter..."

I felt sick again as the world around me went dark.

* * *

I was truly a monster.

I had to become one to defeat one. It just wasn't right. I couldn't do this.

Why would my destiny be something unrelated to the dragons themselves.

But...

Now that Mercer was gone, I could finally focus on my true goals.

I could do what I was here to do. But I tried to make sense of what I would become eventually.

I didn't want to succumb to the madness of the thirst, I'm sure of it. I'd use my abilities for my benefit, would help me survive, but I would have to accustom myself once more, avoiding people.

A few months I wouldn't have minded. But now...I have so many people that I have gotten close to, including Brynjolf.

Dear,_ sweet_ Brynjolf.

I'm still...so...sorry. You have done so much for me and I can't...I can't bare you to look at me. Don't think of me as this.

I had to make other plans and adjustments to figure out what I should do. Until then, I made the quick decision to finish off what I had to do then I would never face anyone every again. Unless I absolutely had to. Which I hoped not. I swallowed my own saliva. This wasn't going to be an easy choice to make. But...sigh...I really wanted...I had...I can't...

* * *

I reappeared in another small cave with a curious puddle of water. Looking down, I could see pieces of a dwemer ruin, before realizing I was still in Irkngthand. Oh no, Karliah...**Brynjolf!**

It was shaking and had suddenly filled with a lot of water that appeared towards the top of it. I immediately dived inside and went searching for them. I found myself seeing easier in the darkness as I swam around. I found the pair desperately searching for air. I swam forward and grabbed their collars and swam back up to the surface.

I dragged their bodies out and crawled for a bit. Brynjolf was coughing and Karliah was out. I began shaking her, until she opened her eyes. I helped them both on to their feet.

Brynjolfs face lit up as soon as he saw me that it almost made my heart melt. I had to feel it to make sure it was still beating. I know that Vampires aren't counted alongside the living, but I felt lively enough. Beats the usual, stereotypical stories that's for sure.

The pair of them hugged me, much to my surprise. I almost cried. They cared about me so much and I've just been this huge problem to them the entire time. I wasn't worthy of their love.

"Petra! You're alive!" Karliah shouted.

"What happened lass?" Bryn questioned after.

I wasn't sure if I could tell them the whole story. All I did was pull out the Skeleton Key and show it to them both.

Karliah's face dropped.

"You did it then. You killed Mercer."

I nodded without saying a word.

"That's it then. Twenty-five years in exile and just like that. I'm dying to know what happened."

I looked down.

"I killed him Karliah. That's not even half of what matters now. What do I do now with the key?"

Karliah was stunned, but adjusted herself quickly, no expecting that response

"Oh, okay. Well, you need to take it to the Twilight Sepulcher. I'll give you directions however, since the key has been removed, our access to the conduit was also removed. You'll have to take the Pilgrims Path. Never been through the path myself so I'll have no idea what you'll be facing so be cautious. Sorry I don't have enough information." She explained to me.

I nodded.

"That's okay. I'll manage. I'll make sure it gets there and make sure that it returns to it's rightful place."

Karliah smiled.

"Thank you. I just can't bare to face Nocturnal again after my failure to protect the key. And Brynjolf is needed at the Guild. I'm afraid you'll have to face this part of the journey alone."

She said with sadness.

I stood up straight, pretending I had pride.

"No, no...it's okay. I can handle myself, unless there's dragon in there." I joked.

Karliah chuckled.

"I...highly doubt that."

Karliah gave me the directions to the Sepulcher and taught me about the history of the Pilgrims Path. Some kind of test of worthyness that really had no claim to please Nocturnal, as she doesn't require worship in the traditional sense. A business driven Daedric Prince that still had that air of mystery. No wonder.

I nodded and prepared myself to go. Karliah had left, presumably back to the Guild or what ever herself, when Bryn pressed his hand on my shoulder. He intended to take the hood of my head, but I stood back and prevented him from doing so, confusing him.

"Something the matter" He asked. Brynjolf usually picks up on things on me quite quickly I might add. I had to be careful.

"Bryn, I don't know if I'll be returning to the Guild after this..." I said to him, rubbing my arm.

He held my arms, but not too tightly, then dragged them to my fingertips to hold my hands. He was surprised at how cold they were. But he wasn't stupid.

"Lass, something happened...I know you're not saying it, because if you're not willing to talk about it, it means where you went and what had occurred, it's made you distant again." He explained.

He knows me too well.

I sighed.

"I can't promise anything Bryn...I just...need to be away for a while." I stated with sadness.

He nodded.

"I can understand. No, I can't. But I know what you're like. If you need time to sort things out that's fine. Just don't forget we're all here for you okay?"

I could cry. I really could. I wanted to tell him everything but I didn't want to bare him anything else, that I was no longer mortal like he, and I silently swore to myself that I wouldn't set foot anywhere until my vampirism was gone.

We hugged again and I listened to his quickened heart beat. He was scared for me. I didn't want him to be. I wanted him to be happy. From his grip I could tell he didn't want me to go.

"Bryn...I..."

I desperately just wanted to get out of me, but I couldn't. I was going to run away and this would only cause him pain.

"Petra..." He murmured.

I wanted to kiss those lips of his. I wanted to make a dozen promises but not like this.

He got closer to me and raised my hand in front of his mouth and kissed the back of my hand.

I blushed and smiled.

"Just...be careful. And know the Guild will always be your home...okay...but has this got anything to do with the Greybeards?"

I chuckled.

"No..no..."

My ultimate goal was still to take Bryn with me to see them. I suppose it gave me the incentive and motivation to get myself cured maybe. I pressed my hand against his cheek. Cold, but he could mistake it for just because we'd been in the water.

"We both will see them again. One day...that I will make sure of."

We reluctantly parted ways,  
as I was walking the path to do this thankless task.


	34. Lost Again

**AN: Always love reviews to know what you think so far. They'll get there eventually. It might not look it now, but I can say for sure that things will look up eventually. Just may take some time. You'll see in the next few chapters.**

**Chapter 34**  
**Lost Again.**

She hasn't been back in a while. I'm starting to worry. It's not something you get used to, believe me...

But when she returned back from where ever she disappeared to back at the dwemer ruins, she was different. Distant. Like the first day I met her.

When something involves Petra, you can expect the greatest story never told. Forgotten and unseen.

Where ever she went, and what ever occurred, I could tell it wasn't pretty. She quipped about defeating Mercer and carried on like it was just another job. It's fascinating to hear her tales of success, but the lass never goes into great detail. When you find the parts where we gained footholds in the most essential cities in Skyrim, that was Petra's doing. Found more resources and contacts than we can lay our hands on. She impressed Tonilia in getting the Khajiit in handling more of the transportation of goods side of business.

She claims she's just doing as she's told, but there's gotta be more than that.

Our lucks increased aye, but my opinion is that she's made too many sacrifices, some may have been necessary, but she puts it on herself too much and it's tearing her apart. She puts on a great show, but being around her long enough let's you see past the facade. Her lack of self-esteem eating her on the inside. By that I mean, she doesn't think highly of herself enough and I doubt she even gets the whole picture of her role in the world.

She may call herself Dragonborn and desires answers but she's denying herself the chance to believe what her true calling is in life. She has to have a type of knowing, gnawing at her and telling her she should be thinking differently. Her defeat of Mercer displayed that she has the courage and the power within her to overcome, but when I saw her, the way she shirked away from me, I could tell she'd made some kind of sacrifice but was too shamed to say it.

Even with Mercer dead, I still had an empowered hatred for him. But for now I was cleaning up his dirty work, and getting these ragtag thugs back into order.

When you look at the Guild, the state of affairs left it in shambles. But now it...it just feels better, like it had a fresh coat of paint. We're all too lazy to paint. It's a sewer for Shor's sake, but you see people calling for our...'help' once again, we're notorious enough to be sought out again for our services. Clients coming in left and right. Mostly Skyrim's scum, but thankfully as well as the pay is good we don't really care who hires us.

Delvin had a statue of Nocturnal placed in the Guild, now that we'd gained the Daedra's favour again. A few weeks ago, Karliah sensed a shift in powers, like a steady flow of luck started to flow our way. She took her leave to go back to the Twilight Sepulcher, and came back to confirm that the Ebonmere, Nocturnal's conduit for blessing us with her luck, was reopened. Which confirmed that Petra had succeeded in getting the Skeleton Key back to it's proper resting place.

She did tell me Petra wasn't there. When she told me she was going away for a while, I thought she just wanted to recover, given that she would have copped a lot from Mercer, and what ever mystery they'd been up. I wouldn't have minded, but I would have liked to receive some sort of notification or contact from her at least.

But no word, nothing. It'd been weeks since then.

I'd asked around the flagon, I'd asked Delvin where she'd gone. And he stated that he had no idea and no one he's spoken to has seen her either. She'd gone back into hiding, it seemed. I turrned to Vex, who was laying back against some crates and appeared to be staring off into Oblivion. Her, Tonilia and Sapphire had been acting weird as of late. They're not ones for talking too much, but ever since we'd come back from Irkngthand they've been...rather off.

I approached Vex and snapped her out of her trance by waving clicking fingers in her face.

"Nirn to Vex, you in there?" I joked.

She looked at me funnily. This wasn't the type of Vex I was used to seeing.

"Yeah I'm here. What is it this time Brynjolf?" She spoke to me with scorn. Typical Vex, but their odd behaviour was definitely telling.

"You haven't seen Petra around...have you?" I asked her.

She refused to look me in the eye as she shook her head.

"No, I haven't seen her." She replied, tone tired and weary.

I didn't believe her for one second.

"Vex, come see me at the front desk."

* * *

We went back into the cistern and talked at the masters desk. I sensed her hesitation to even speak to me, but she knew more than what she was letting on.

"Talk to me Vex. You're bothered by something...I can smell it." I told her.

She heaved a sigh.

"Bryn you know I can handle myself. I am not like your girlfriend who needs you to hold her hand all the time."

I rolled my eyes.

"That's not what I meant..." I spoke to her with a annoyed tone.

"You've spoken with her. Haven't you? And she's told you not to tell me, because she's hiding something. And now it's not just you, it's Tonilia and Sapphire who are holding back. The three of you are all hiding something. It's been like that ever since Petra killed Mercer."

Vex looked around, then bit her lip.

"We're still capable of working Bryn. You don't have to worry us when we're on a job. We're of practical use in the field as ourselves."

I glared at her, albeit softly and crossed my arms. I wasn't going to fall for her changing the topic.

"Vex, I'm not fooled by your tactics here. Where is Petra?"

She looked around again, as if she was paranoid. Unusual for Vex.

"Pipe your voice down. I don't want anyone else to know." She whispered.

"Meet me at the second floor of the Bee and the Barb in about an hour."

* * *

She was so secretive, more so than she was normally. I boded my time with some paperwork and reading, looking up stories of Molag Bal himself. Said of done some nasty things in the second era, so I had to believe. Details weren't exactly clean cut but he was just as terrible as any other Daedric Prince.

But these were mostly just accounts of his worshippers and only told the tales of those who wronged him or took their religion too seriously. I also believed some of them were fictitious.

But I'd gone to the Bee and Bard soon after and met up with Vex sitting down at the nearby table.

"Good, you're here." She muttered.

I placed my hands on my hips as I looked at her.

"What's this all about lass?"

She combed her silver-blond hair with her fingers. I'd never seen her this stressed since her initial failure at Goldenglow.

"You wanted to know if I'd talked with Petra, so...I'm going to say, yes I did. However the last time we'd seen her wasn't...exactly in this realm."

My brow furrowed...I was puzzled as to what she was on about. Then I realised

"Another realm? You met up Petra in some plane of Oblivion. Even for you Vex, that's actually rather surprising for someone who only cares about coin and wasting it on drink." I joked. Sort of.

Vex sighed. You forget the lass isn't very comedic.

"It's not exactly a vacation I would have asked for but in any case the three of us ended up there. Me, Tonilia, Sapphire. Don't know if you were aware about the fact that Mercer not only played us for fools, but he also played as his floozies, much to our dismay. It's like a scab you want to scrap off but then you get all the pus."

That was an analogy I wanted to get out of my head. But aye, I'd learned about that. I nodded to her to carry on.

"_Mercer..._" She gritted her teeth and hissed. She was acting like Petra did once. Really uncomfortable with talking about it.

"He made us his thralls somehow. Found out he was a really powerful Vampire."

I blinked. That's...different.

"Wait a _Vampire_? And no one said anything or suspected anything?" I questioned, not really believing in what I was being told.

Vex shrugged.

"His abilities extended far beyond the normal means. He persuaded us to do what he wanted because he could. And looking back on it now makes all seem just like a terrible dream."

I nodded. Mercer, I better hope Petra gave you what you deserved in death.

"But we couldn't help ourselves. A power that seeped into the mind, indoctrination they call it or something. The three of us knew it wasn't natural but neither of were even strong enough to resist it."

What a terrible power to abuse. It filled me with such anger and the betrayal just hurt me more than it originally did.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" I queried her. I just couldn't stand the very thought of this happening underneath our noses this entire time, that Mercer was even capable of creating and inflicting such horrors.

Vex rubbed her head.

"I just said we were powerless to stop it. Mercer must've whipped up some kind of hypnotizing spell that prevented us from saying a word. I don't know."

Petra herself would have experienced something similar, but now my concerns included the three other girls in the group. None of them deserved this. No one deserves it. And my mind was still taking it all in, opening up more of me to see what a monster Mercer truly was.

I scratched my chin.

"And what of Petra then? Was she also in this realm you were in?" I wondered. It couldn't be coincidental.

Vex nodded to confirm it.

"Most of what happened is a blur, but I still remember bits and pieces of it, like it was me sitting behind my eyes but not having real or any control over my body. It just...did things."

Vex was a strong lass. She's had worse happen in life than this. She held it together better than anyone.

"From what I saw, I did see Petra. Mercer had lured her to this...disgusting, tower in the middle. Us three watched as he tormented her. She...she was bleeding from her stomach encased in weird black armour. Which I've been informed is Nightingale Armour."

Karliah must have told her. I flashed back to when we'd found Mercer stealing the Eyes of the Falmer. That Petra shouted him off the top of the snow elf statue and stabbed him with both of her blades. I was busy fighting off Karliah...

Suddenly I knew what it felt like to not have control. Vex's story of loss of self was valid to me. Not that she'd lie about something about that, but he did have that type of power as I'd experienced it myself. I didn't want to and I couldn't stop myself.

"I must say she was rather..amorous with exchanging words with him..a real fighter. She must have been bleeding for a while because she had the gall to snap at Mercer and shout at him...taunting him from memory. Then...more blurs...and..."

I could see Vex trying to remember badly what happened but from her wincing she wasn't at all feeling well in doing it. I wanted to know but I didn't want to force Vex to re-experience it, but she pushed on.

"He'd become this awfully thin, grey floating monster. A Vampire Lord."

I've heard of Vampires...I mean, who hasn't. But a Vampire Lord did not sound too promising.

"Most of it was still a blur, until suddenly there was another monstrosity. Female in form and fighting it off with Mercer in the sky and crashed through the top of the tower. Then next thing we know, is Mercer on the ground, getting his face smashed in with a creepy looking mace, blood everywhere and Petra vomiting."

My heart sank and my stomach pulled. Petra...what...

"I really didn't want to tell you this Bryn, but I think your girlfriend is a vampire."

I slammed the table, almost disorienting the girl as I abruptly lost my cool. I was pissed at the whole situation, the secrets, the lies...

I glared at the woman. I hardly glare at people.

"You're telling me _you_ all knew this entire time and never bothered to tell me about this? _Why_? Vex? Do you not trust me?" I scolded her, my body shaking slightly with all the hatred pouring back.

Vex rubbed her head. She was notably saddened by the state of affairs. Not something you see everyday, especially from her.

"I'm sorry Brynjolf...the girls and I thought..."

I shook my head. I couldn't help but just be angry at her and I wish my own mind can see she's trying to explain herself, but hardly any of it would be a good enough excuse to me.

"No..._you_ thought I wouldn't be able to take it. You all knew what happened and never said a damned thing! I knew you were holding back something but I originally thought nothing of it. And now you tell me this and expect _me_ to be calm about it lass?"

Vex had to reassess herself, she then stood and raised her hands at me.

"Just cool it, Bryn, she's still alive at least, that's all I know at this point. With our luck in recent times relatively improved, she's succeeded in getting us rich again."

I didn't care about that. I started to pass around the room in pure frustration, pinching the top of my nose.

"I would have expected she told you that..." Vex assumed.

This was just getting too much.

"You say she's alive and you judged her to tell me everything? Listen to me Vex, Petra has always been like that. I would have predicted she'd tell me in due time." I told her outright. I was around her long enough to know where things would stand and how she would approach certain subjects.

Vex rose an eyebrow and leaned against the nearby wall.

"So why are you so pissed at that then?" She asked me.

Her tone, filled with that pisspoor arrogance.

"I'm not pissed at that. I'm pissed at you, whom having been there when it happened and could have told me important details. You don't trust me?"

Vex growled.

"How _dare_ you. Of course I trust you. But this is Petra we're talking about, your precious little blue-eyed thief. I didn't want to stand between you two. And now she's not here. What do you think of that?"

I wanted to shout and scream but I remained vigilant with poise.

"All Petra told me was that she needed to be away for a while. That's it. What she needed to do, was her own damned business. She's sacrificed so much for the Guild already. She's rewarded with a break."

Vex half-snorted.

"Hah, a few week's break. Listen Bryn, you and I both know she loves the job too much to do nothing. My theory is she'd get this done quickly, and she'd be back in time, ready for the next set of jobs. She was content and happy to keep the coin flowing because she's probably the only damn one, besides yourself, me and Delvin, who gives a damn about the Guild. She brought in more coin than anyone just to make sure we all stood on top. But she's gone Bryn and no word means she doesn't want anyone to find her. Because you know what I think? I think she's hiding because she doesn't want the world to see her for what she is now, more importantly she doesn't want you to see her...especially you. She's most likely isolated herself like she used to, but to more extreme measures. See, try to deny that theory when it you know it all yourself don't you?" Vex explained to me.

She had a point. Petra's untold adventures. And will remain untold until anyone finds her. But I failed to understand why she didn't just outright tell me straight away. I wouldn't have cared what she was. I just...wanted her home to where she was cared for.

I could take care of her, no problem. And if the world hated her for it, then so be it. I'd still defend the lass with my life. My head couldn't wrap itself around the very concept though, how she just left us be.

My heart sank down further. But I couldn't give up hope. I lifted my chin up and stared at Vex.

"So absolutely no word? Not even...small messages? Anything that we've received that was rather strange?"

I must have been desperate for information crucial to me finding her. I'd respect her wishes but this is just getting ridiculous. It took me so long to get her out of her shell, and she's back in there again. Vex tapped her lip with her finger.

"Now that you mention it, Delvin received a package a few days ago. The Eyes of the Falmer he called those weird egg shaped rocks. We'd assumed Karliah sent them and thought nothing of it."

Of course. The eyes. Mercer had grabbed them from the statue with the intent to sell them and live off the proceeds for very long time.

"I assure you Karliah sent no such artefacts. Karliah gave Petra a Nightingale bow I know that much. Mercer already had eyes when we found him. Did the package leave any type of note?"

Vex pondered.

"Uhh yeah...yeah a piece of paper. All it just says is..._enjoy_..."

At least she's considerate. But this was getting us no where fast. She may have been clever enough to cover her tracks, but there's gotta be a way to find her.

"That's all I know Bryn. I'm sorry I don't know more. And I apologise on holding out on you. If I knew where Petra was I'd tell you. Shadows help you find her."

I nodded.

"Thanks Vex, I didn't mean to lash out at you like that."

The woman shrugged.

"No, I get why you're angry, just do what you can and find her."

* * *

I sat at the Flagon in deeper thought. I'd sat in Petra's little corner where she used to sit and read. Call it sentimental, but honestly I was trying to get where her head was at. Where would she go to hide? Where no one would find her?

One thought was that she'd gone up to see the Greybeards without me, but then with the revelations of her as a Vampire, made me think the old men would never want to see her in such a state.

She believed herself in such a state that she may have considered herself dangerous to the confines of the walls of the main cities, finding their prey out in the wilderness.

I suspect she wouldn't have gone that far, somewhat. But far enough and well enclosed to make sure no one would discover her current location. I don't...care that she's a Vampire. I can't stress that enough.

"Any luck findin' your girl Bryn?" Delvin asked me, bringing a chair over to the corner table and sitting on it backwards and bringing bottles of mead over.

I shook my head and sighed.

"No...nothing."

I realised that Delvin cared about Petra a lot as well and would be more than glad to help out. But for now, I think Vex needed him more than I did.

"Hm...tryin' think. It's a mess all over ain't it?" He wondered out a loud.

"Vex told me about the Eyes of the Falmer with a note attached. You guys automatically thought it was from Karliah. But it couldn't have been."

Delvin chuckled.

"Of course it wasn't. I'd recognise her handwriting anywhere. So elegant that I'm actually envious of it."

So the eyes were still going to be a dead end. I had to try something else.

"Okay, let's not think of events from a Guild stand point. Any of your contacts notice anything unusual occurring. Maybe near big cities but it doesn't have to be anything, well, particular within them."

Delvin took a sip of his bottle of mead.

"Hmm...o'right. Let's see...let's see...ah I do recall Niranye, our fence in Windhelm, mentioning buying some interesting trinkets from one of the Khajiit Caravans. Namely powerful weapons hidden inside numerous ruins according to the seller. But the seller also bought the weapons from somebody that didn't appear to be from the Guild, but rather some weirdo who was just pretending to be a Guild representative. Didn't that that'd be major. Niranye thought it was funny, and said it was someone from the Summerset Shadows maybe, if the Khajiit's story checks out right."

I browed. I heard the stories of when Petra had gone to Windhelm on a special request and eliminated part of the rival faction. That's the only connection we had to her.

"So, what's so significant about a lone Summerset Shadow? Other than being thieves with no honour of course." I questioned, curious.

Delvin smirked.

"Petra wiped out the whole group and made sure no one was left alive. One may have escaped which I highly doubt with those bow skills of hers...but one thing Niranye did point out was that the...killer thief was rather, stagnant, moaning and had really bad breath. Not sure if that's got to do with anything though. We joked about it."

I pondered for the moment. Didn't know what to think of at this point. Most of it made no sense.

"Bryn..." Delvin muttered.

"I know...your thing for this girl...don't let it distract you too much from your duties."

I smiled.

"I'm okay lad. I just want to see her and bring her home, but you have me at a hundred percent."

Delvin grinned. He was more like either an older brother or a father type figure with a wealth of knowledge and stories to back up his skills and claims. You could always trust him at least.

"Yeah we all do Bryn, we all do. All I can advise you is to speak with our fence. I'm sure she'll be able to point you in the right direction."

I got off my the chair and nodded at the breton.

"Thanks. Oh and Delv?"

He looked up at me.

"Yeah?"

"Can you keep an eye on Vex for me? I know she may reject you outright, but offer her a drink or something. She's going through a rough patch right now."

Delvin nodded. "I noticed. She hides and holds herself well but you know that stuff is always well hidden. Good luck!"

* * *

Funny how similar Petra and Vex were in terms of their personalities. Except Petra doesn't boast as much and Vex can keep herself cool. I'd have a word with Tonilia and Sapphire another time about their rendezvous in this particular realm they visited. Vex didn't describe in great detail, only about some type of tower was involved.

Most lessons of common mythologies and legends tend to go straight over my head anyway, but after what happened, I'm inclined to be less skeptical and more aware of all the types of magical events that tend to pop up every so often. Bizarre but they happen.

Vex was right though. There are only so few of us who have genuine concern regarding the Guild. Petra wasn't the only one I was worried about. I wanted everyone at the best of their game and any questions and disputes relayed to me so we can get it sorted as soon as possible then get to work.

Being a Nightingale go gave me a sense of interesting superiority. My arrogance is only for show but I practically bled power that increased my abilities as a Thief. But I still had my duties and for now as a de facto leader until any kind of initiation or promotion was noted and observed by a large audience.

But all that power would only help me defend myself by masking to the shadows. My Amulet of Articulation was good enough to convince but if you simply don't have the information it's hard. I like seeing it as a challenge sometimes. But this Altmer in Windhelm, supposedly had information that may or may not be solid. I was wondering if the grey man Delvin mentioned had something to do with it. Either way, it'll either help or hinder progress. Petra had connections there and saved Niranye from her troublesome kin.

I then prepared myself with a trip to Windhelm.

Thank the Gods I finally found a lead...even if it was obscure and filled with uncertainty.


	35. Snow and Stone

**AN: I'm surprised how this story is having an emotional impact on you guys! I'm glad. But yeah, we'll get where we want to be soon enough. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 35  
Snow and Stone**

Windhelm.  
Gods know how I ended up here again.

In terms of my own investigation into Petra's where abouts, the trails that lead me here only had some type of sense to it. Both of us came here to do a job, but here was where Petra solved the developing issue of a rival guild trying to get its foothold around here. They called themselves the Summerset Shadows.

Back then we would have never considered them any real threat. No one heard of any of their tales or exploits, which meant they either kept their heists at minimum, or they were all talk. Either way, there wouldn't be much to see from them or their 'Guild.' But they were into some nasty type of work. We had standards to maintain. These people preferred to steal from corpses. Yeah...no.

But we regained Windhelm per Petra's work and now have a contact within in to secure our goods.

I approached the Altmer, Niranye at her stall, with her smug look on her face. She'd been in contact with Petra previously on the Summerset issue.

"Oh Brynjolf what a pleasant surprise to see you!" She welcomed me with that forced act of hers. She always put on the show for the locals with her overly enthusiastic tones.

I nodded with acknowledgement. At this stage she was just more than just a happy pawnbroker.

"How's business?"

She smiled. It was wicked, I could tell you. Could give Maven a run for her money.

"Oh business is good, business is good. What do I have the pleasure of your company today him? Looking to buy? or..sell?"

I chuckled.

"Not today. I'm actually looking for Petra. You seen her around?"

Niranye contemplated.

"Oh let me see...let me see...I have the occasional shipment of goods handed to me by the Khajiit...saying our mutual friend says hello and just dumps them with me. Often more goods than I can put on display really."

Sounds like Petra. You can trust her to get the good stuff.

"But she doesn't actually come in to speak with you at all?" I questioned.

Niranye shook her head.

"Sadly no. I'd like to speak with her. I'd imagine she'd be far too busy with all her work. You don't become a quality...merchandiser without pulling the hard yards in getting all the fascinating and valued trinkets. I get the usual note, but it's mostly lists of the goods."

I nodded. I had to think of a way to pull the lass out, or at least either lure her out of her hiding place or best place to meet up in fact. I know Petra well enough that she won't give out her position so easily. She'd stick with the shadows like she was supposed to. She wouldn't have become a great thief otherwise.

"May I ask _why_ you're looking for her? I understand you all have had gone through some rather rough patches lately. You recruited well. Is she in any immediate danger?"

I sighed. It's never surprising to see how many people actually cared for Petra. More stories you ever here from the modest lass.

"No. Nothing like that."

She relaxed and crossed her arms, quizzing me with her stare.

"And she wouldn't tell anyone where she was? Fascinating. She's hiding from the Guild? I wouldn't imagine what for though. And here I was, plodding along nicely. Unless this is some sort of...personal matter I presume?"

No doubt the coin was good, probably why she didn't notice.

"You're...not going to kill her are you?" Niranye asked me, more curious than cautious, though I didn't know the elf well enough to know where her real intentions lie.

"Of course not. She and I just have business to discuss. And when I say business, I don't mean that she's going to end up with a dagger at her throat. I just want to speak with her."

Niranye seemed to understand that, at least. She made some kind of smirk, flirtatious as if she was catching on to something. Is it me or is it actually obvious to people that...no...no no no...why do people always think...no, how do people even see that?

"That's a relief. I like the girl. Pity she's not keeping in touch. I owe her mead...or two."

Figured Petra would still take care of her own. Which it made crucial that I get in contact with her.

Niranye rubbed her chin.

"But I suggest catching up with the Caravan. I think there's a group still outside of Windhelm, just cross over the bridge and turn left at the stables. You'll see their camp there."

I thanked the elf and walked my way towards their encampment. If I had to walk to each of end of Skyrim to find Petra, then so be it. She wouldn't have gone too far, helping out the Guild where she can. That was her way now apparently...

* * *

Even of she decided to use alternate means of doing so, she didn't have to cut off contact from absolutely everyone. She's a Vampire, aye...not everyone accepts a blood sucker into their arms.

Me? As long as she still lives and breaths somewhat, I don't mind what she becomes. As long as Petra is still there somewhere.

She's always pushed people away as far as I can remember. I was like that once. People still annoy me, but if they're a valuable asset and friend, they get all my respect.

The difference is that...I...that Petra...you know that I love her...I love her too much to see her this way. She's made great progress since she's been with us and what she's done for the Guild. But I just wish she would stop doing this. She doesn't have to be this way. We'll find a way through it.

But she doesn't know how I feel and I just can't get the words out to her. Some days I want to tell her but can't find the appropriate time. Other days I tell myself to get out of her burdens and to not let her worry about me at all. I think she's doing the same thing. Heh, I just find it rather amusing we prefer to let one another go but I can never get her out of my head and the way that I fall into melancholy and get depressed if she's not there.

Without getting too sappy, I believe she can pull through. She vastly underestimates herself where everyone can see her gifts and talents and she just does it. When it comes to larger, more complicated situation she gets outright in the midst of her power. I can see it in her eyes, when she cries her heart out when it gets tough and gives it her all. That being said...

She's afraid of her power. She knows it there, and is horrified at the consequences of it going wrong. The story of her at Helgen. When people hear what happened they get terrified of their own lives.

But Petra believed that the dragon was out to get her personally. She never wanted this...she never wanted to be Dragonborn.

If you excuse my philosophy here for the moment, but the Gods wouldn't have given her anything if they knew she could do it. They must see it. She's hesitant to take lives, which is why she'd chosen the Guild. We follow our own set of rules and regulations and she follows them to the letter.

Another thing is that she learns quickly, my guess being that it's something as part of her inborn abilities. She was willing to learn more about archery and the like, even with her supposed experience with hunting back in Cyrodiil. This is what she's told me anyway.

For anything to go south just makes her panic. She subconsciously sets events out, purely in her head and when a variant puts itself in there she has to quickly re-adjust herself for the new challenge. As a Thief that kind of thing is inevitable. You have to make second decisions in nearly everything and drive yourself to succeed and leave your options open.

With Dragons...there isn't much choice for to make. She's the only one that can take them down. She doesn't want anyone to die and she just hits herself if anything happens and people just die because she wasn't fast enough. She needs to understand that these things happen and that she can't be everywhere at once.

Objects stolen can be replaced, lives cannot. It may not appear at first glance but Petra badly wants to protect the people she pushes away but deeply cares about. She thinks for all the bad things to happen that it's her fault.

That's...never the case Petra. You put these burdens on yourself for no reason. There's nothing wrong with being sad over someone's death and that makes you human. It's the pointless self-guilting that needs to stop. And the overindulgence of your sacrifices. It's got to stop.

* * *

I found the Caravan, with the cluster of tents and a spit over the fire, numerous cat-folk loitering about. I adjusted myself before I approached the one sitting at the entrance of his tent.

"Ahh come to look at our wares have we?" Asked the orange toned male, wearing blue clothes. I think Tonilia described him to me once. I know Ri'Saad, the one in charge of the caravans, but this was Ma'dran, if I'm not mistaken. He took another look at me and realised who I was.

"Apologies for not knowing sooner member of the Guild, I tend to forget who I'm speaking with. Anything I can assist you with?"

Khajiit normally have a stigma they have to live with. But they're always useful and willing to negotiate. They've always had an aptitude for trading in just in their goods, but for information as well.

"I'm trying to find another member that you may have gotten in contact with recently. She's not in any danger, I just need to find her. She's very secretive about her location but I can pay you for any information you have."

He squinted, his sharp teeth shining through as he smiled.

"Hmm...while I have bartered with many of your people, there's none that stand out as much as I can remember...what does this one look like?" He asked me.

"She's small, but feisty. Has light brown hair in a high ponytail and light blue eyes. She might be the one who brings you the most valuable loot."

Ma'dran went deep into thought.

"No...no haven't seen anyone like that." He replied, sadly.

I wasn't going to give up just yet..I was...

"BUT I do know someone who has been bringing us some peculiar goods...in fact they were here not long ago. A member of the Guild, I assumed, didn't speak much, other than a few chosen words. He had a rotten stench to him. Didn't like the look of him, but I don't refuse anything that will make us a profit. So we traded and went off without saying goodbye or thank you."

As odd as it seemed, this might have been the guy that Delvin was talking about. I had to know...

"Was he in grey armor?" I queried.

Ma'dran nodded.

"Yes he was. Elven origin. Skin a deathly yellow, so I thought he was just sick."

Altmer? Hmmm...I was wary. It was perplexing. Niranye did mention that Petra had only sent out letters somewhat, Delvin mentioned letters being involved. He must know where she was if she was sending him out. I was anxious and fearful, but didn't let that get to me. There had to be an explanation for it.

"Which way was he headed?"

You can call me crazy for bothering was this. I don't mind. But when you love Petra like I do, it's hard to not forget about it. Not that I want to. Without my heart being torn and my mind elsewhere, logically I would think Petra would be fine. Despite mishaps, she can take care of herself. Dragons were the only main monsters that gave her pause now.

She has her love the Guild as well. She would never jeopardise it. She's sacrificed too much so far to let it fall apart now. And now we're prosperous as ever because of it. Because of her.

But I just can't help it. The lass means more to me than wealth. All I really wanted was the knowledge and the fact that she was...fine. But when you're gone for so long without so much as a letter from a courier or any real sign, you have to believe something was up.

Ma'dran directed me to the western part of Eastmarch, the parched side of snow in an area called Uttering Hills Cave. I would have imagined her isolating herself so far but not too far from some kind of civilisation. It'd be difficult to wandering out in the light of day. I've never met a Vampire...I think, they're tricky buggers, masters of illusion I hear. You'd think being a creature of the night would be easier for a thief. I'm reluctant to believe that...powers unheard of but...just doesn't seem easy.

* * *

I paid the cat in thanks, then went back to the Stables where I rode Lucky across the hold to the snowy patched hills, eventually to a small crevice, with a door embedded on the side of a minor cliff edge. I got off my horse and examined the tiny splotches of blood around the burnt out camp-fire structured there as part of a small settlement. I felt ill.

There was a singular guard there, matching the description of the Altmer thief. I approached with utmost caution and attempted to make careful conversation.

"Hello there." I welcomed. I wasn't entirely comfortable with this, but I couldn't risk losing Petra's trail.

The elf looked at me with the deadest eyes I'd ever seen. The aura around him felt wrong as he glared at me.

"_Turn...back..._" He groaned to me. His voice...just echoed strange magics. I stayed on guard.

"Are you the one who's spoken with the Khajiit Caravans earlier?" I questioned. I thought to myself, good luck with getting a decent answer.

"_Turrnn baacck!_"

He unsheathed his dagger, preparing to attack me if I didn't listen. This had to be some kind of weird, ass mind control magic from the looks of it. Still was strange and unnatural. I pulled out my blade as well.

"Who's your master?" I asked. I'd assume if anything else that things like these had monster masters or controllers. I wasn't sure.

He then swung at me. I defended myself as his dagger clashed with my sword. He kept trying to hit me as a I dodged and weaved around him. This wasn't going to end well. He fought for a moment, with me ending up decapitating him, but then his entire body just collapsed into white it. I was left with nothing. I squatted down and shamelessly sifted through the ashes left behind. No...nothing. All I had was what was behind this door. I didn't have much to lose at this stage by checking it out.

* * *

I wandered inside, seeing all but stone and snow. The wind enforced and bleed out eery echoes throughout. I became suspicious and kept my blade in hand.

Traisping around, ensuring I kept quiet allowed me to see several of these guards, wandering around the place. I do seem to recall something about the Summerset Shadows again and Petra's previous conquest that wiped them out. But the story doesn't add up. These people were alive still.

Surely Petra wouldn't lie like that. Unless.

Each of the Altmer clad in grey thieves guild armor all had that rotten stench to them, their skin veiny and their eyes hollow. They were similar to the guard outside which upped my suspicions. I took them down by slitting their throats, but all of them looked relieved before shuffling to ashes as well. The piles were...just odd. I found another campfire with more guards and just made more ash piles from their bodies. What was going on? A wooden door on the side of a closed in stone building led me inside of it, possibly being there and the snow around it covering it. I walked down a set of steps, found more enemies and trails of blood leading down there. The stench got worse and I thought the worst. I came across an alchemy lab as well, then went down a hall way. A walkway to my right lead into some kind of dining room with a banner between two stone polls. The banner was black with the Thieves Guild symbol on it. Somehow, I must have been in the right place.

"How did I know you'd find me?"

I turned around to hear that familiar voice

"Petra..." I whispered in disbelief. My face lit up and my heart went weak.

She stood there, wearing her normal brown guild armour. She strutted towards me, summoning the Nightingale Armour around in the quick whisk of black smoke that surrounded her. She was adamant in not letting me see her face.

"You slaughtered my minions? That's okay. I was sick with working with them anyway." She told me.

My heart jumped as I saw her. I wanted to hold her, hug her, but like the Altmer warriors she apparently commanded, she wasn't...right.

But I made do with common courtesy and kept to myself. She strolled around and leaned against one of the poles.

"Sorry, minions is a word I really wanted to use. I've been rather busy lately." She exclaimed.

"Aye, you have." I responded. I was in a mixture of angry, sad and happy but none of them were dominating me at the moment.

"Don your armour, I want to speak as Nightingale, to Nightingale." She told me, her voice firm but lacking an emotional spine.

I complied as I brought forth Nocturnals gift around me.

"Good. Now we can talk."

Part of me was glad to see Petra, but now that I did see her, I was more wanting to inquiring to what lead her here and what forced her to do this. No doubt she had her stories to tell and I honestly wanted to believe but I had to think clearly on this and look at it all from another perspective. I was saddened that she just didn't tell me outright and I needed to know why.

"So you wanna know why I'm not hanging around the cistern any more? I'd be prepared to tell you a hefty tale if you're willing." She told me. Somehow I felt her stare but had no idea what it consisted of. She was hard to read with the armour on.

"Of course. You don't normally stay away like this. At least, not for this long." I relayed my point.

She nodded.

"No. I don't. And you're right to guess that this had to do with Mercer. So there's no real reason why I shouldn't tell you. But I did need time to think about things. Alone and I'm close to finding a conclusion and the next steps to take."

She sounded more organised than I can remember. It was because I knew she needed time that I never bothered to pursue her for any reason than allowing her to gather her thoughts. Defeating Mercer wouldn't have been an easy task and would have taken a great toll on her. But I'd never think it should have taken her so far as she did.

"And I'll take a quick snip that either Vex, Tonilia or Sapphire had told you I was a Vampire."

I nodded. She was rather quick to catch on. Petra chuckled and started to pace around the room.

"Should have known. Oh well. You've come this far. Yes. I am a Vampire. I did become one willingly so I could defeat Mercer."

I squinted, trying to comprehend her decision.

"Before you open your trap, let me say this. It wasn't something I originally intended. Otherwise I would have done it my way. Mercer wasn't abusively persuasive in forcing me. He offered me the choice and I took it simply because he was foolish enough to think he'd be able to defeat me otherwise. Even with his experience I crushed him."

I crossed my arms. Vex did state that Mercer himself was a Vampire Lord. What ever that was...

"Vex happened to say you had all gone to another realm. Aye, I thought that as the case after you first got Mercer of the statue. He'd...stabbed you back and you all vanished."

I looked down, feeling my face turning red. I had to let her know sometime. But not know, Bryn, calm yourself.

"It brought me joy to see you back. It brought me sadness when you didn't return home." I told her.

She rubbed her elbow, noticeably nervous about something.

"I'm...sorry to have worried you like that Bryn. I don't mean to cause you pain. It's just that you've done so much for me and I've been this little weak bitch for so long that I didn't want you have to cope with that any more."

Weak? No! Confused and unsure? Fine. This could be helped and solved with no issue and I'd always be willing to help.

"I've never thought that about you...Petra. You're skilled and you can handle yourself. But you're also human. We all have our flaws but that's just who we are."

She snorted.

"Yeah yeah. I didn't want to be treated like I was special just because I was doing my job."

You're special to me Petra.

"You do the jobs no one else can handle lass. We have faith that you'd do it. We let you do the hard work because everyone else doesn't have the guts to take the work on. You do it anyway and the way you treat the job like any other speaks volumes. An extraordinary amount of focus and dedication."

She cracked her neck and paced around again.

"You know who that sounds like? You. The focus has been so much on me that everyone forgets about you and would rather depend on me than someone who's been in the game longer. You're a perfect fit to be Guildmaster."

No one had taken that role yet. Nor did I want to.

"That has yet to be decided. Vex, Delvin, and occasionally Karliah are cooperating at the moment to keep the coin flowing as it should, as well as keeping everyone else in line. I have no desire to lead. I've been thieving for most of my life lass. I know how the whole operation runs but I don't want to be it's figurehead."

Petra chuckled again.

"Because you're worried of all the attention you'll get? That you will take responsibility for the Guild and it's direction? That you'll get the blame and get chastised for every decision that speaks for the Guild? You fear failure? Is that what it is?"

I grumbled in frustration. Some of that was right, but I had my own reasons for it.

"I'm like you Petra...all that glitz and glamorous stigma that gets attached to being Guildmaster may be nice, but it's not what I want. Overhyped and you're forgotten you're even there. I've always been willing to serve and do the jobs on my own because that's what I'm there for. But I don't want to make the big decisions that affect the guild in many ways. I don't even deserve the respect and honour that comes with it. You have to prove yourself over and over again to be considered for top spot."

Petra then got closer and whacked the back of my head. I rubbed it after. The lass can hit pretty hard.

"Are you _blind_? You have the respect and...admiration of the Guild. I'll smack sense into them as much as I have to smack sense into you. You're happy in that small niche that you built yourself without so much as a chance for the challenge and then let yourself grow?"

I talk to others of the guild, mostly for business. But I keep an eye on them as well, occasionally rewarding them with not just coin, but for someone to talk to. My ear is always ready to listen. But they don't need me as Guildmaster, not by a long shot.

"I can't grow any higher than what I am lass. This is all I can do. And it's always what I've done." I told her.

She sat down at one of the benches and placed her hands at the back of her head. I wandered over and sat next to her.

"If it was up to me, there's no one else...I'd rather choose..." She spoke softly, with a hint of a shiver in her voice.

My stomach went warm. Her words drilled through me and sent pangs throughout.

"I'm flattered...really. I just...don't want to..."

She placed her hands on the bench. I looked at her. I couldn't see her face but entire stance just was...tired.

"But you're not respecting my wishes to stay away as much as possible." She called out.

No, this was different. I placed my hand on her back to make sure, but she rolled it off with her shoulder, butting me out again.

This was just like her joining the guild all over again. I had to wiggle my way through those barriers of hers she re-casted. I didn't want to lead the guild. That's fine, the others will still help out regardless. But Petra deserved to be with the guild more. This was her family that she was adopted into by me and they may not say it but they missed her dearly. I missed her even more.

"Because you think the others would fear you? I know what you're like lass. You're Dragonborn, a centre of attention in some bizarre prophecy and magical crap that is far beyond any of us are used to. And because of that, you're hiding because you don't want anyone involved in your problems. Am I wrong?" I told her outright. It needed to be said.

She sighed.

"The Dragon attack in Riften convinced me that I was putting other peoples lives in danger by simply being there. Each life lost to them is a life I could have saved...but here's me being a coward, but they won't be tempted to find me there."

I facepalmed.

"The Dragons are indiscriminate lass. They will kill anything that so much as lives and breaths. The only thing is that you're only...well, at least...human. Anyone who dies is not your fault because you weren't there."

She slammed the table with her fists and I received a blazing stare somehow from beneath her hood.

"Because I am just a waste of flesh, born with an immortal soul that is supposed to take all of them down? I let Mercer take me, to let me become undeath and receive powers to allow me to work in secret, yet still finding ways to get around. I don't want to die before I've fulfilled my purpose. If I have to work in the dark so be it. I'm used to that now."

Powers...undeath. Those elves...their auras. I looked distant briefly as I recalled each of them in their apparent lifelessness. They were already dead.

I glared right back as I shot up from the bench. I couldn't believe what she was saying right now and it was filling me with rage.

"Don't you _dare_ say that. I don't want you to die at all. Stop putting the blame on yourself, especially if it's out of your control in the first place. You put so little value on your own life! Living isn't about purpose, it's about what you can do with the time you've been given. Fulfil a purpose? Fine. Find a new one, and live because you can. It's pointless in throwing your life away like that."

It became tense between us both yet again. Petra was so convinced that she sent for a reason then after that be allowed to be tossed away like trash. No. That was not going to happen.

"Because I'm in such a state to defeat dragons right now. Mercer is gone. That's good. But I've put myself into a compromising position that I no longer believe anything else besides the fact the Gods made a huge mistake."

No...that wasn't true.

"You made yourself immortal. Then you have all the time in the world to contemplate that. Not all of us do. You won't grow old alongside us and die alongside us. How long do you need before you can see that you have the power to enact! I fear before the time you can figure it out, we'll be gone, the dragons all but wiped us out and you're sitting in here still realising that the Gods made you mortal because you know there isn't much time to waste as is. They want you to take action but you're going to spend it here, cold with no one to speak to you." I scolded.

She looked down in shame. I sensed some kind of heat rise above from her, like a change in her heart had made he think twice about it. Good. She was getting the message.

"I don't want to force you to do anything, but I want you to know the importance of the situation. Which is why I was willing to go with you to see the Greybeards...I want you to overcome...to believe and when all is said and done, and you've fulfilled your purpose, that you can come home to the Guild..."

I prepared myself mentally, gathering what mental strength I had.

"And to _me.._"

I took me a lot of courage to say those words. But she...I.

"Brynjolf..." She muttered.

It became quiet for the moment. She knew I was right. I just wanted her to be safe, but I also wanted her to be happy. I tried to make more conversation to break the mold. I looked at the splashes of blood everywhere and the piles of ash outside. I'd read up on Vampires beforehand and recalled them having engrossing powers.

"You rose those bodies yourself?" I said with a low, quiet tone of shock.

She pushed herself up and walked towards a nearby door, nodding her head to beckon me to take a look.

I wandered over to see a room filled with bookshelves and filled with numerous books of different colours and sizes.

"I'd accumulated all this via the Khajiit and Niranye. I had also had my minions go out elsewhere to find them. Mercer explained that he developed his abilities over time. So I took the time to study necromancy."

I'd never think the lass had it in her. She'd never be one for using magic, even her shouts. But she certainly gathered the aptitude for it, learning in a short amount of time.

"Don't worry, I've kept the summonings on creatures, beasts and lowlife bandits. Which at this stage I can handle the hunger for blood, but I wouldn't want it to get to a point where I'd be starving and desperate to latch out to wanderer or an adventure. I'd had my feed today."

She still had control over that. It made sense though, once I thought about it. It was the safest way to make herself sane. Though I had to ask...

"So what do you think about drinking blood?" I wondered.

She crossed her arms and looked away from me.

"There's the minor craving here and there. I'm surprised I'm willing enough to restrain myself. Quite easy actually. From a Vampire's perspective, it changes from what you're normally used to."

I nodded. I figured a conversation like this would get me close to understanding. And by letting her tell me, she still trusted me. My ear would always be open to her.

And my heart.

So I attempted casual conversation, to let her speak. It'd be like old times.

"So now you're immortal. Anything you feel is not likely not something you see a mortal grasp, that kind of concept?"

She nodded.

"Yeah. You should see the Vampire Lord form. Vicious...hideous. Give you a butt load of power."

Another form? By Shor...there goes the casual.

"And Mercer gave it you? Willingly?" I wondered, as to part of Mercer decided to be an idiot to do so. Or it's a blessing...to some. I dunno. I'd accepted the fact that I never really knew the man after all.

"Like I said, he offered and I accepted. My reasons were to destroy him..."

She took in a deep breath.

"Bryn, I was dying. You must have seen me there. I'd taken him down and he...impaled me. I was bleeding to death, what was I supposed to do? Let my ass get kicked again?"

I shook my head. She was getting emotional again. I had to calm her down, then again, I should let her vent. Normally helped a lot for her in the past.

"Petra, I won't condemn you for your choices you've made. Becoming a thief isn't the first choice for everyone, nor is it the smartest. You do what's most practical to you. A vampire I'd say wouldn't be on any my lists personally, but you did it to survive. The word you live by is to survive. And we all do it."

She lowered her head. I grabbed her chin and forced her to look at me...somehow. I wanted to see her face. I pulled my own head back to let her look at me. She wanted us to be as Nightingales. We both were. This was no longer about that. This was between us associates...and friends.

She shivered as I pulled her hood back to let me look at her face. I battered my eye lids as I looked at her bony thin face, nose slightly pointed. Her eyes had a hunger to them, though that would have been a natural, from what I've read. Her face just appeared as it was carved from stone, sharp and smooth in all the right places.

I removed my glove and felt it with the palm of my hand. It was so cold..._lifeless_...

"You're not afraid of what you see?" She asked me, voice quivering.

I gave a warm smile and caressed her cheek.

"Of course not. You're still Petra. I can tell. I know you. And that's the best part of it. No matter who you are or what you become, you are still you regardless."

She closed her eyes as I watched a single tear drop from her eye. She pulled back and walked away, her back towards me.

"...I never deserved your kindness...still don't I think. Mercer said that...all I do is just cause you misery with all this crap. I really am Doom-Driven." She spoke sadly.

"I'm just happy to help." I told her

"But I also know that you're far too valuable to me...I mean, _uhhhh_ the guild, to sit around in the darkness on your own. We'll respect your privacy, but you can't turn away from people in need. Because as much as you try to push people away, you still care about them in the end. We all know that. The whole guild knows."

Why I back-pedalled there was because of nerves. Seriously is difficult to get the word out to her.

She grumbled.

"I don't care what the Guild thinks. But you're right. We're scum, but at least we're higher level scum. We have our own set of rules and regulations and we stand by them with honour. We're rabble, but we're organised rabble. We know what we do and we're good at it."

That sounded a lot better. I felt more relaxed about her change of tone. She turned back to me and pulled her hood back once more.

"You're strong willed enough Petra...I..._I_ can feel it. What ever choice you decide to make, I won't stop you."

She crossed her arms and tapped her finger on her bicep, then lowered her chin.

"I took the key back. Did the trials there. Easier with the Vampire form I assure you. I then met Nocturnal herself."

My eyes widened.

"Really?"

I then grinned.

"I'm actually not surprised. What did she have to say?"

Petra shrugged.

"She said I performed my duties to the letter and assured me that wealth and better days were ahead. Which I'd say the Guild is alive and well."

"Thanks to you." I complimented her, watching her blush. Which you wouldn't think a vampire would.

"But she didn't make comment about..."

Petra nodded.

"She knew about Mercer's betrayal and our...dispute...in Coldharbour. Said I had guts to make the sacrifice...I assured her my allegiance to her was solid and if she wanted me to cure myself of it, that I will."

I tilted my head.

"And..."

The girl scratched her head.

"Don't know. She's cryptic. Claimed my spirit was free but wouldn't say why."

I had no idea either.

"So she didn't..."

Petra bit her lip.

"Yeah...but now that I look at you, I see myself as a fool to doubt you or the Guild. Nightingales should stick together and all that nonsense...but..."

I approached her slowly.

"But..."

She looked away.

"I think of all the times that you've helped me out and right now you're still doing it and I can't...I feel guilty for leaving you alone like that. I've taken so much but given you so little. I'm not talking about thieving mind you."

I got closer and rubbed her arms. Her words and the way she said them so softly was kind..of cute. I hate using that word. But there wasn't any other to describe it.

"That's who I am lass." I told her.

"We've been through so much and I'll never back down."

She opened her mouth, but all she did was tumble into my arms and weep. My heart jumped and I felt flushed. I wrapped my arms around her and rubbed her back. Mercer was gone. So the lass was free to do as she so wished. I could get her back on track on her original goal, instead of sealing herself in and feeling sorry for herself. But I felt her...release instead. She was so tense but just broke around me. She killed Mercer though and I'm not sure if I wanted to see the very moment she killed me. From Vex, it was gruesome.

After what he did to her and to the Guild, he deserved everything that came to him in the end.

I felt Petra shift underneath me, her chin resting on my chest with her beady eyes staring at me, like they were made of crystal. I just...craved to kiss those lips already. The temptation was stronger than ever but...I couldn't do that to her.

"Bryn?" She mumbled.

"Mmm?" I replied, continuing to hold her close to me.

"I think...I think I want to go home now. But I don't know...how the others will react."

I wouldn't want any of them to touch her. If they did, they'll pay for it. But she was right though. Vampires make people on edge, including myself. Petra is an exception, obviously.

"You...could always make me a Vampire?" I joked.

I was then met with a thump on the head. Very poor choice of words.

"Sorry! Sorry lass...didn't mean it. Although if it helps, so you don't have to be alone."

I assured her.

Her head shifted, her face scrunched as she gave a piercing glower.

"No. Bryn you're too important. Stop that." She told me outright.

I smiled and gently rubbed her head.

"Okay then, so what do you want to do?"

She thought about it deeply, I could tell.

"Well, I'll return home on one condition. You help me cure my vampirism...make Karliah Guildmaster and we'll go to the Greybeards. Sound fair?"

She surprised me with that request. Curing would be difficult but doable Karliah as Guildmaster? More appropriate than I thought. But to go the Greybeards? Sure! Why not? That'd been our goal all along hadn't it?

I nodded.

"Great. I like that idea. We'll need to head back to Riften to start. Um...since, well, you're as much part have decisions for the Guild itself if anything. Just keep your hood on and no one will notice what you are."

She growled.

"Urgh...but they're gonna wanna know why I'm being shady. I mean, it's our job to be shady, but you know what I mean."

I chuckled.

"Just pretend your sick and say you don't want anyone to look at your tired face or get them infected."

For the first time in a while, the sound of her laughter brought forth a warmth and was music to my ear and fastened my heartbeat.

"Alright, if they'll believe that story." She spoke sarcastically.

We let go of one another, before shaking hands on it. This was going to be tedious task but I'm certain we'll get through it okay and with renewed strength.

Thank you Petra, for being you.


	36. Mead

**AN: Who's ready for a fun chapter? Well, fun as in...funny of course. Read on...**

**Chapter 36**

**Mead**

I used to wonder why he bothered. He'd say a thousand different excuses and I still wouldn't believe him.

But yes...

I'd isolated myself purely because I felt it was the right thing to do. I was worried Nocturnal would berate me for my own choices. Then you remember I'm a thief. Stealing isn't exactly a good choice in the matter. I returned the key, did what I needed to do, then moved on.

And...I cared about Bryn. I really do. He means a lot to me. But he didn't mind what I was, he just...seethed at my attempts to get away. I honestly did it for his own good. So he could be focused. I really hoped he would lead the Guild, but like me, he was too stubborn to change his mind.

Karliah was the next choice in line. For all the wrongs done to her as well, she had lasted this long and was finally set free. Free to give Skyrim the biggest crime spree it's ever known. And she deserves to do so as well.

But I couldn't weigh Bryn down any more than I already did. I did it because he's a good man who had a good thing going and I unknowingly ruined everything. But he was insistent that I was best thing to ever happen to the Thieves Guild in a long time.

During my time as Vampire, I still kept up with my duties. I'd never sever the ties with the Guild. The fact of having secrets, contacts and connections with a lot of borderline moral people was actually exciting. And the fact that we all flowed well together is what made the experience so perfect. Being a monster of the night made it hard, although not to difficult. I did tell Bryn that it was easy to withhold the need to feed, when in actual fact it was quite hard. I just had a good strong will to suppress the hunger as well as occasionally going out and directing that hunger somewhere where it could be used and not hurt innocent people.

No doubt this is a world of people living in black and white, but we thrived on people in the grey area. They were nice enough but not afraid to break the law when it warrants it. It helps having the guards in your pocket as well if anything went wrong. It must drive the victims of burglary nuts the amount of times we steal.

The Khajiit caravans were highly useful as well. They could get merchandise from other provinces and they could buy all the junk I find elsewhere. Whether it's in someone's home or in some dark, dingy cave if it's worth something they'll buy it.

So none of us were crystal clean in all of this. But when it comes to me, who's currently violating the laws of Arkay, people would cry VAMPIRE! And attempt to kill. When Brynjolf and I returned to the Guild, we kept our arrival quiet, but I had a feeling they already knew I was back. Though the others probably ordered the rest of the guild to leave me alone. I hope they did. Vex, Tonilia and Sapphire already knew of my predicament and probably threatened the guys if they came near me. Though once I get cured and come back, they can chat to me all they want. I wouldn't be a threat to them any longer. After all, they were family.

I stood behind Bryn most of the time, sticking to the shadows as much as we could. We went over to the desk and talked. Karliah had come by as well, checking in on things and interested why I had my hood on.

Brynjolf raised his index to his lips before Karliah even opened her mouth. She understood soon enough, though was confused by the whole thing. I don't blame her. After what happened, even with the Guild back to full strength, there was still a whole slew of issues to take care of. Some of them involving me unfortunately.

"Alright I won't question it. But I will question what actually happened at the Twilight Sepulcher? While everythings sorted there you just vanished. I was worried Nocturnal..."

"No, I'm sure Nocturnal didn't kill me Karliah, or else I wouldn't be standing here." I assured her with a smile.

"Okay then. You still hadn't explained what happened with Mercer either. We're not calling you a liar, we all know he's dead. But you never gave us the chance to speak to you about what went on."

I looked down. Should I really tell her?

"Many things my dunmer friend. Many things." I said subtly. I don't know whether she was able to absorb all that information I'd give her or she'd just get confused as Brynjolf was.

But I could tell she was also annoyed by the fact that I wasn't telling her how Mercer went down either. She was eager for the tales of how I bashed the shit out of the breton man.

"It involved me...a tower in a plane of Oblivion, vampires and a mace." I explained in the most modest of terms.

Karliah tilted her head.

"You went to Coldharbour?" She questioned with surprise.

I often forgot Dunmer were highly affiliated with Daedric Princes. Idiot Petra, you were serving Nocturnal for the Gods sake!

I forced a nervous smile at Karliah.

"Uhhh _yeahh..._"

She didn't look too happy with that response.

"Petra, that is a pretty big deal. Mercer dealing with vampires. It explains a bit more, but raises new questions."

Brynjolf decided to step into our conversation.

"Yes, we can talk about Daedra and Vampires another time...right now we have bigger things to worry about."

I stood back and crossed my arms as Brynjolf relayed information to the violet-eyed elf.

"Karliah, Petra and I discussed this on our way back, and we decided it would be best that you be the Guildmaster." He told her outright with confidence and nary a pinch of hesitation.

She was visibly shocked.

"Me? Guildmaster? Surely you jest!" She spoke, still stunned.

We both shook our heads.

"Mercer sold you out. He killed Gallus and he tried killing you and Petra and had used the Guild as a means to an end. Petra and I will be gone for a while and we need someone like you to keep this guild in line. And plus Vex and Delvin will be glad to help you out."

Karliah looked at us both suspiciously.

"You honestly think the Guild is going to trust me as their leader?" She questioned us.

Brynjolf and I exchanged glances. This might need some convincing.

"Karliah you're a fantastic person. You've lasted this long and I'm genuinely impressed with your skills. I mean, Bryn and I won't be going that far, hopefully just within Skyrim. Just send us a courier or something. I don't think we'll be unreachable as far as I'm aware." I told her.

Although what we were going to do was mostly uncertain for sure. But I was meant to do this and I'll see through till the end. However, I will put the Guild first for anything. And if Bryn was needed more than me than so be it. I wasn't going to argue.

Brynjolf agreed.

"The lass is right Karliah. I also believe you'll make a great leader. You learned from one of the best. Surely you'll earn their respect if you tell them your stories."

Karliah gritted her teeth. She could have been willing to do it, but the look in her eyes suggested it might impact her negatively. Judging how her own lover was once the boss. But Brynjolf was right. She did learn a lot from him. I only met the man once...as a spirit and he was very strong and willing even under the dire situation the Guild was in.

"If the pair of you have that much confidence in me, I'll...consider it. Gallus taught me a lot. And as Nightingale it just seems...right. A void in my life has been filled..."

Didn't actually take her long to get her self pumped up for the position. She was reluctant. I mean, we could have chosen Delvin of all people, but then Vex would crack the shits. I still think those two just need a nice date together. They frustrate me with their tension sometimes.

As it turned out the others had apologised for their wrongsays. These weren't the honest of people, but they knew where they were wrong in jumping the bow a bit, and outright realised how we were all wronged. It wouldn't be long before everything would be set right again.

Though affairs would still be handled normally, they weren't with two of their best thieves. But I would still keep in practice from time to time to make sure I wouldn't get rusty. We set our version of coronation for our 'queen', with Karliah being vaguely embarrased by the whole thing, then Brynjolf told everyone else to get back to work. I made a subtle laugh about it all. But the rest seemed to happy with it. Life went on as normal, like nothing changed.

* * *

Karliah met me and Brynjolf out by the exist of the cistern. Obviously to meet us out. I wish her luck in her endeavours and just know she'll make a great representitive the Guild.

"Well, this is it then." Kariah mentioned with a hint of sadness. The temporary parting of the Nightingale Trinity.

"I can't thank either of you enough for what you've done for me."

I grinned and hugged her.

"No, I should be thanking you Karliah. You've been great and too good to us. I'm glad we could get things sorted as they did." I complimented.

Karliah blushed.

"Too kind Petra. I wish you well on your journey. Oh and Tonilia told me to give you these..."

I'd forgotten to see that Karliah had black armour in her hands.

"She said you're just as important as a Guildmaster and wanted to welcome you with the standard special armour...and this necklace to with it. She said it would be better than the...expletive gear you've got on now."

I looked at it, then looked at Brynjolf, who was smiling.

I turned back to Karliah.

"We best get moving. Bye!"

* * *

I don't know if Karliah figured out or that the others told her eventually I was a Vampire. I couldn't tell if the Guild somehow knew already. If they did, perhaps the others would tell them to shut the Oblivion up and mind their own business.

Either way, it didn't matter. Brynjolf and I headed out of town and grabbed our horses. We had no where planned just yet, but we'd headed off towards what ever direction suited us best. Now, yes our intentions were to go to the Greybeards and obviously you go to Ivarstead. I wanted to get read of this vampirism but had no way of knowing how

Brynjolf made the suggestion of heading there anyway. Surely they'd understand, but I wasn't a hundred percent sure on the matter of how it was going to be. But, we eventually decided to College of Winterhold would be better source of information on the cure and rode our horses to the north.

It made sense, but Bryn berated me, that for all the books I had at the Uttering Hills camp, that none of them had anything on actually curing it. I rolled my eyes. I had the books shipped back down to Riften and gave them to what's her name, Ingun. I'd also managed to find the ingredients she was looking for in the meanwhile and shipped them to her too so she wouldn't have to bother me so much any more.

But anyway.

We made it to Winterhold in the midst of the night. While I was fine in the dark I noticed Bryn all quiet like. I'd forgotten what fatigue from lack of sleep was like. I'd sleep during the day of course, since most of my work needed the shadows to ply our trade, but Brynjolf had busy, even more so. And he needed sleep.

He didn't say anything as we left our horses out the outskirts of the deadbeat down. Deader than me at least. As always the town was in a snowstorm, so we visited the local inn instead. I left Brynjolf there for a bit told him to wait and have a drink or two. He nodded and did as he was asked, then went to the College to meet up with Enthir.

I'd had to negotiate with the Altmer guarding the place, but my experiences as a Vampire helped me prove my worth before heading into the College itself. Large place but bizarre location. I was forced to be shown around the grounds. I let them do their thing for the next half hour. I could come back here if I had to. I was told where to find the Arcaneum, where some old orc was the librarian there. I went to speak with another familiar first before I did any research...

Lastly I found Enthir in one of the room and spoke with him. He'd asked me about Karliah and how she was doing. I told him that she's Guildmaster now, which made him happy.

"So, I doubt you came out all this way to just have a chat. I assume your here on business." He queried.

I nodded.

"Correct. Enthir, don't be alarmed on what I'm about to tell and please keep your voice down."

He snorted.

"Hardly anything is surprising these days. Hit me."

Alright...

"Do you know anything about a cure for vampires?" I whispered.

His eyes widened. So much for being Mr. Unsurprising.

"Uhh...not really. Wait, I do know there's a Redguard by the name of Falion who might know. Rumour has it that he's delved into the topic of Vampires but not actually one himself. Go figure."

A vampire expert. Perfect.

"Where would I find this Redguard?"

Enthir pondered.

"He's living in Morthal at the moment. Oh and take this..."

He gave me a dark violet crystal.

"You wanna deal with Black Soul Gems with this guy. Give it to him and use it well. It's on the house."

I smiled. Black Soul Gems weren't cheap. But if it was going to help...

"Appreciate your assistance." I thanked him. Didn't need to see the grumpy old orc after all.

Enthir grinned.

"Anytime. Send Karliah my regards."

* * *

Now we were making progress. All we had to do now, was head to Morthal and find this Falion fellow. I think that it may sound simple, but somewhere in the back of my mind was the knowing that it may been more complicated than it seems. But if he could do it, I wasn't going to care anyway.

I went back to the Frozen Hearth, finding Brynjolf already having drunk several bottles of mead in my absence. By Nocturnal...

I approached him nonetheless with the new information I was given. He may get pretty excited that's for sure. I think he's needed this type of adventure for a long time. Being a thief is no doubt adventurous, but for what I could become was to explore places that hadn't been visited in thousands of years. And I get to have the uhh...most...um...uhh, you know, amazing guy by my side? Ahem.

I wanted to keep an eye on him though, to make sure he wasn't overdoing himself for my sake. He had bags underneath his eyes as he drank down a bottle of , probably seventh mead. Just...exhaustion was written all over his ragged face. Poor thing. I felt bad for letting him worry about me. And sometimes I feel like I should have just left things as is. But he remains as dedicated as ever.

"I'll go rent us a room." I told him.

He looked up at me. I've never seen him so weary. Woozy crossed with boozy.

"No it's fine lass."

I glared at him.

"No...it's not. You're tired and it's my fault for making you do the run arounds. I don't need to sleep if I don't want to. But you're...you're still human. You're going to bed." I told him out right.

The way his eyes looked at me were heavy with burden and fatigue. I seriously had to keep that in mind next time. I walked over the innkeeper and paid him the coin to hire a room. I turned back to Brynjolf, who was still hunched over his drink. I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously? You're going to be like that?" I called out to him.

He ignored me and took another sip from his drink. He placed the bottle down eventually and stood up.

"I'll only go to bed, if you put me there." He joked. How much mead did he have again?

"I'm just joking lass. But seriously though, you're right.. It's..."

I groaned and pulled him to stop his yapping. What a reversal...I had to take care of him now.

"I'll put you to bed alright. Just shut up!"

"Aye..."

It took me a bit. I managed to drag him to the bedoom, with the innkeeper watching on with a puzzled eye. I plonked him on the bed, which for some reason get him excited. I closed the door. I feared I'd have to some yelling otherwise.

I took a deep breath.

"Okay Bryn, what gives?"

He struggled to sit up on the bed. He did eventually.

"I'm sorry lass. Just...I'm not normally like that you know. I was speaking with some elf by the name of Nelacar. We joked and drunk and before you know it, I'm whacked like a horker on skooma."

I was not amused. Though interesting analogy

"Yes and you're also tired. I've been ignorant of normal bodily functions like sleep lately. I want you to rest for me. We're heading to Morthal in the morning."

Brynjolf nodded. At least he understood that much. But the look of disappointment on his face was depressing.

"Alright, alright. Can't a man have a drink once in a while?" He slurred.

I couldn't help but smile. It was fun seeing Brynjolf act like this. But still sad.

I wanted to believe his story about him and the elf...but they must have some heavy conversation after I got back.

He looked like an innocent puppy as he looked at me with teary eyes. By the Nine I haven't been this drunk myself...never cared much for doing so. I wandered over to the bed and helped Brynjolf take off his boots. He looked like he had trouble taking them off. He gave me a drunken smile and thanked me for my help. Gods help me.

I took mine off as well. Brynjolf was currently in a mead-induced depression for falling for some apparent elf's business and was just slow, lanky and joyless. I sighed as I laid on the bed next to him, much to his surprise. Seriously Bryn we've done this before. Why does it surprise you now? Stupid, stupid mead.

I helped him lay on me as I laid my back against the wall behind me. This was so awkward. I was a miniature compared to him, but somehow rested his chin on my shoulder, and adjusted his head in the crook of my neck, his forehead resting against my cheek. I had one arm over him as he fought (and failed) off sleep.

"You're so cold lass..." He commented, voice soft and weak.

Yes because I'm a vampire. How many times must I explain this?

"Well if you don't like it I'll go elsewhere..." I told him straight up. If he wasn't going to be comfortable then I'd move for him.

He pulled his arm over me, with his hand resting on my side and squeezed me.

"No...don't...don't go anywhere lass. I feel warmer with you here with me."

My cheeks warmed up heavily. Then I saw that idiotic grin of his as he adjusted himself so more.

"Fine. But tell me, what are you sad about? The fact that I've taken you away from the Guild is that it?"

There was a slight pause where refused to answer until I looked at his ragged face again.

"Of course. I love the Guild. But I love you more..."

I shook my head with disbelief. Pity the mead was doing the talking.

His hand slithered up to meet the other side of my neck, them crawled it up to my chin. Brynjolf couldn't be drunk enough to mess with me. I'll let him do what he needs until he falls asleep. If he goes too far I'll kick his red-headed ass outside in the cold and into the Sea of Ghosts. But I owe him a lot anyway. Plus it was adorable to see him like that. Still that teddy bear, but now entertaining.

"Yeah yeah...if you ever want to go back, let me know. I don't mind if I have to journey this alone any more."

His expression changed as if he'd been offended.

"No, I made a promise and I'm sticking to it lass." He told me outright. His attempts to sound serious with a solid tone failed, coming out more slurred.

I shrugged.

"Suit yourself."

It was nice feeling his warmth alongside me again. I know the...unpleasant experience we had at Nightingale Hall was certainly one of a misunderstand, but I couldn't shake that off that easily as he grinded against me that morning. So he actually wanted to release some tension. Makes sense.

He kept running his fingers up and down my neck, fascinated by it's porcelain qualities. That just happens to someone like me. When I turn back I'd be less pale. It was perplexing as to why he was still..so interested in me at all. You think that now and say, 'that's not what friends do with each other'

Who cares? Intimacy made us feel better. Not necessarily for each other but for ourselves. I cared about Brynjolf and felt more cosy with him than any other. We'd been through a lot together...and still..

He deserved a lot better than me forcing him down this twisted cruel fate with me. My heart wants him to stay and be close while my head tells me logically he shouldn't. I didn't know who was right.

"Petra?" He muttered to me.

"Mmm?" I responded apathetically.

"Can...can I...kiss you?" He murmured nervously.

I tilted my head down at him.

"Why?" I asked. Don't tell me he was listening to his loins again.

"I wanted to feel those sharp teeth of yours...you know...I've never really met a vampire before. Especially not one as beautiful as you."

I felt a sharp pang in my chest as he leered at me with the combination of those words. I had to be rational about this, because Bryn was in no state to think properly.

"Well...thanks...I guess? But I don't think you want to..." I told him...more concerned about other matters involved.

He was disappointed again.

"Oh...but I do lass...I promise to be careful..."

How in Oblivion was my face turning red all the time when I'm an undead...wait...

"You don't want to kiss me. That's borderline necrophilia." I was trying to convince him that it was a bad idea.

He chuckled and nuzzled his nose against my neck and smile. The hairs on my skin rose as his beard and stubble rubbed on me. Funny feeling that.

"Okay, two things. One, you're alive. You are not a ghost or a walking corpses. And two...your heart still beats. There may be no pulse on your neck, but I just know these things."

Yes of course romance boy. Sigh.

"If you don't want me to kiss you that's fine. I'll respect your decision. I really do like you Petra."

Again with the mead talking. I'll just play along. Mostly because he's my friend and I...well I do like him back. I just don't want him to do something he'll regret later. I want him to sober before he makes any hardcore decisions. While a kiss like that would be potentially dangerous, I could let him kiss me on the lips instead. No harm in that. I probably owe him dozens of kisses by now.

"Just...on the lips. No feeling my teeth with your tongue okay? I can't afford to have anything happen to you." I explained to him clearly, I wanted him to get that message into his muddled little head.

And he actually looked at me with such dramatic shock. Damn it was funny to see. Especially from Brynjolf. He was like a kid. Just...so lovable.

He slowly but surely put his face closer to mine. My heart...or what ever was beating quickly. Seriously I don't know what other differences we have to the living other than being cold. Really contradictory. I could smell said mead on his breath. Wasn't the worst of smells...mostly honey and sweet smelling. But his breath was heavy through his nose so it got louder as he got close to me.

His eyes were closed as I prepared myself as well, resting own eyes. I was expecting something, but felt nothing but something heavy hit my chest.

I chuckled slightly as the man had passed out in the process. I'd finally succeeded in doing what I was intending to do. So now he can rest.

I laid there still awake as I carefully moved his head to my lap and started patting his head.

Seriously, poor guy. Just needs a woman to take care of him. Okay, I'm trying to blast out with laughter here but the man just needs to sleep the night away and I'll keep watch.

Thanks Brynjolf for being amusing tonight. Sweet dreams.


	37. Stars

**AN: Drunk Brynjolf is a funny Brynjolf. But I also decided to add Nelacar in, with his own reasons for well...I'm making certain suggestions with a different sort of head canon you know. And the site is giving me errors with uploading tonight. Ugh...BUT...enjoy!**

**Chapter 37**

**Stars**

I'd woken up that morning, finding my head resting on a long pair of black leg like things. Turns out they were actually legs.

Petra's.

My head hurt slightly as I recalled what I was doing the night before. I'd spoken with the elf Nelacar. Altmer, wearing the usual blue robes one would find hanging around the College. Magic wasn't my thing, but as long as it worked, I didn't care how.

I bided my time waiting for Petra to get the information we needed in order to cure her vampirism. She was awfully bubbly about it though. Like she was looking forward to getting rid of it. I guess my speech got through to her. It gets hard sometimes to determine her trail of thought and what ultimately gives her certain conclusions.

I run my fingers on the bottle of mead before me, sitting inside this tavern with a ghost town forgotten by snow and time. It was cold. You'd think we want something warmer. To tell the truth we'd gotten here in a hurry and hadn't much time to rest. But Petra herself was wide awake without any sign of her being tired what so ever. Came with the curse it seemed.

She lead the show of course and I was only too happy to help. Only to not really consider too much about my own health, both mental and physical. I'm capable. I'm not that old. No, I might still have decades before thinking anything else in fact.

I lost the track of time as fatigue made me numb as I drank the mead. Nelacar came in and for what ever prompted him to sit next to me and have one too.

He says he's from the College but I have a inkling that he might not be telling the whole truth. I paid him no mind and it was nice to have conversation with someone and not be alone in the dark.

He knew I had something on my mind. People had a lot of talent with doing that these days. Aye, and it was quick irritating how they always picked on the girl troubles. I still don't know how they automatically assume that.

Turns out Nelacar had a girl back in Morrowind many years ago. Killed by the Argonian ambushes. She was an Dunmer, surprisingly. So you had the light of the Altmer alongside him. Must have been one heck of a relationship. You'd have to have the same issues in order to remotely detect that any one else had the same problem. You had to experience it first hand.

"So, who's the girl then?" He asked me, giving me my what, third bottle of mead?

I popped open and took a huge scull and wiped my face with the back of my hand.

"Oh. She's an associate of mine. We're good friends at the moment. We're on a little adventure...you know, scouting ruins and caves and all that muck"

Nelacar smirked.

"That sounds fun. Romantic too. If you're into that sort of thing."

I shrugged.

"Her idea. I offered to help her out. As her colleague, we'd make a great team."

Nelacar rose an eyebrow and took a sip of his bottle.

"Ahh so you work together hmm? That's normally where it all starts. I might not look like it and not many people are aware of my own escapades not just here, but also in the Summetset Isles and Morrowind. I wooed the odd girl here and there, since my family were part of the Thalmor. I've no love for the group myself but we ended up very rich. So the girls just came to me." He spoke of, arrogantly. He took another sip straight after.

Sounded like another elf I knew in the Guild.

"So you left the Isles and found the perfect woman I presume?" I asked him. I still wanted to know an Altmer managed to marry a Dunmer. The races never really saw eye to eye.

"I studied enchantments greatly. I'd also had heard something called Azura's Star, a daedric artifact had found itself there. The Dunmer people worship Azura highly alongside the rest of their heathen rituals. I wasn't going to judge, really. My people are just prejudiced."

I chuckled. He wasn't wrong there.

"I found an Azura Priestess, the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. Lucky I was on the other side of the province. My family would have killed me if they found out."

My family wouldn't give much if they saw me now. I'm pretty sure they're lingering around somewhere. Haven't seen them in years.

"But despite all my wealth the woman was never interested. So I went the hard yards into getting her to notice me instead of devoting all her time to the Daedric Prince."

Sometimes they got over the top. I keep forgetting our allegiance to Nocturnal sometimes, but at least that Daedra hardly cared for prayer and alms. We were lucky. Pun notwithstanding. But you tend to not realise that she's there, working in the shadows, aiding us with the Nightingales of the past. Or Karliah says so anyways. I'd ultimately find that just a tad creepy. I like being alone in my own pursuits.

"It took all my time and effort and I realised I was never going to win her by taking her away from what she loved so much. I stuck by her and, for a short time, became a Priest of Azura. Gods know how blind in love I was."

Amusing thought. Petra and I no doubt enjoyed what we do. So having something in common was a bonus. Maybe even one step ahead.

"So you're good at this stage. If you guys like what you're doing now, you have an understanding. So...that worked! She began to appreciate my sacrifice, but she was also pointing out by asking whether or not I was doing this to get into her pants."

I sculled the rest of the bottle. I think that was my fourth one finished. I couldn't even remember finishing the third.

"She was mistaken of course, I told her that I liked what she was doing. That I wanted to walk hand and hand and talk about stuff like magic and Azura. Besides her beauty, sometimes you just fall in love at first sight and don't even realise it. And you want an explanation as to why it even occurred. We're scholars! It's our job to find the answers. But like some questions, it's probably better that it didn't. Or maybe it did but you never go ahead and find out."

Petra was the same, I guess. Gorgeous girl just turns up in my life one day. Sounds like something in the story. It might just be true. Aye, no doubt in my mind tells me that I do love her, the problem being was telling her and if she was willing to partake in a relationship.

"Aye, this the girl, she means a lot to me, but I fear rejection or bothering her. She's been going through rough times and she doesn't need that type of distraction." I explained. My eyes were getting blurrier by the moment.

Nelacar slapped me on the back. I think he was drunk already.

"So you don't even know if she likes you back? Hmm...that's the hard part. I let my future-wife at the time know constantly how I felt. But you never even hinted at it? Listen to me, my good Nord friend you need to tell her. Women like to be told."

I lifted my chin up, never realised how heavy it was until now, as my eyelids felt like they were being weighed down and party of who knows what going on inside my head.

"I've...I've tried telling her lad. It's hard. Because with attempt I've tried it's never been the right time."

I subconsciously finished off the fifth bottle. I couldn't track down how large my sculls were or how long I was taking between drinks. The mead made the depressive state I was in a little more bearable, but I'd become rather emotional. Not really something I do often. He got himself and I another to swig.

"Never is. But you have to be persistent! Not overly pushy but willing to do what it takes. How close are you to her, anyway?" He wondered. Awfully inquisitive. I'd just say that's part of his nature as a scholar.

I looked down the neck of the bottle.

"We..she's...I've..."

I couldn't categorised it properly without jotting down the amount of time we spent together already as colleagues and friends. But friends don't usually hug or sleep on the same bed together. I got a flashback to that day at Nightingale Hall. I felt a small jolt after I had quite the embarrassingly arousing dream I had about her. I don't look at that too fondly at all. But we've embraced with one another without too much of a hassle, but she let me in and was warmer to me as I was warmer to her.

Remember, I've flirted with various women...but as I said before, I've never been with any. Just...never had the time you know, with all the work the Guild had me hammering down on. I didn't want this to get too messy. I cared about Petra too much to get her mind racing on stuff that didn't matter, and would get her highly off focus to her real goals.

"So you're sure you're not on the journey to get with her?" Nelacar asked with an evil smirk on his face as he raised his bottle of mead at me. I glared at him.

"No! Or course not! Look, the whole situation is hard to explain. And even if I didn't love her, I would still help her out."

Nelacar's smile went wider. Why was I telling this to someone I'd just met? Most of the this was definitely the mead talking.

"How do you know that friend? Would you have just left her there on her own? On some mystical, maybe, journey for just work. Pretend she's me okay? If I was he and doing what you guys were doing now, would you still go?" He quizzed.

Not the sort of question I would ask under my sixth mead. Nor would I answer it sober.

"You have to look at our circumstances. I don't exactly trust you. I just met you lad. But, if you trusted me enough to handle what ever work required assistance then so be it."

He had a tankard of ale this time. I was just getting more blanked out...making anything else harder to recall.

"Am I me? Or am I her? Look at it differently. I am her. But you don't have feelings for me, obviously, and Gods forbid you do. You trust me. I am an ally. Would you still help out?"

I took another swig.

"Why wouldn't I? You would be part of what we are. You would have proven yourself to us and worthy of our help. It goes both ways.

Nelacar shrugged.

"Ah good. I was just testing. I was wrong. You're a good friend then. So I hope this girl of yours actually becomes yours in the end."

Shor knows what I would do if I did. I don't know how to enact of these things. Just makes me nervous and a little bit scared actually. Last thing I wanna do is hurt Petra. But I was going to tell her.

"I'm going to tell her." I said outright.

"I'll tell her, then I'm going to ask if I can kiss her."

Nelacar's eyebrows nearly bounced off his head.

"Woah there friend. That's a bit...off putting don't you think?"

Now onto my seventh mead. I honestly didn't know what was coming out of my mouth anymore. Head was burdened with garbled pangs, like what ever my thoughts were, failed to translate out of my mouth properly. Eyelids were getting heavier too. I looked down at my bottle again and laid my fist on table, still hunched over.

"Maybe you're right lad. But I won't know for sure unless I tell her. I could fit it into a conversation. Like be serious but make a joke out of it."

Nelacar rubbed his chin, then took a sip of his ale.

"Is this how Nords traditionally attract women? Never heard of that bizarre suggestion before. I thought you people were all Amulet's of Mara, less wooing and more about the lack of time you all have, then you pump out all these babies..."

I spat my drink. No, not that!

"I'm_ not_ marrying Petra." I told him. Just don't know what I was saying but I said it anyway.

He lowered his head and gave that mage studied stare at me. I hated it.

"But will you...and do you _want_ to?" He questioned. Sounded like my father, actually.

I tensed my shoulders up at the very thought, then released with breathing out.

"I...I don't know. The girls important to me but she's needed more out there."

Nela crossed his arms.

"So you're saying she's married to the job?"

I looked up with half lidded eyes and a half-dropped mouth.

"Uhh...maybe? She like's it well enough. She's one of the best." I stated proudly, though my tone and I inflection wavered with the influences in me.

Nelacar snorted.

"But you're close! I know you are I can see it. How you go on about her. How you help her. You two would be crazy not to get married. I don't know the girl myself but it's a shame she doesn't notice you. She must be something special indeed."

I drank half of the seventh mead then before I knew it, the eighth one was waiting for me. I can no longer vouch for my own words. But I made a lazy nod in agreement. He was right. Too right.

"My advice is give up the subtlety and just make with the proper flirting. You're skirting it around too much that she's probably gotten used to it that she makes it no different from your regular behaviour. That's if you are still unable to tell her of course."

I looked up at him, twirling my finger around the bottle head.. I wasn't up to my eighth just yet, but I was getting there.

"You think that'll work?" I questioned.

He shrugged.

"I don't know...that's just been my experience with women. They'll either read the signs or ignore them completely. Because she knows she's seeing the same thing over and over."

He had a point there, surprisingly. The lass and I were so comfortable with one another, that what we had between us appeared as normal without any higher implications. Friends don't cuddle like that or touch each other to wipe off our tears. People don't touch each other in general unless they're in love. We had a...special friendship.

Nelacar stood up from his bench and stretched his limbs.

"As much as I'd love to stay and chat, I best be off to rest. You though...I wish you the best of luck. I hope to hear wedding bells in the near future."

* * *

I nodded in thanks as he headed off to bed in his room, while I brooded to contemplate his words.

Should I up my game a bit? I fear offended Petra. I know with all that occurred between her and Mercer wouldn't have left a pretty mark. I didn't want to treat her like I treated other women to use them. Only for work purposes of course. Mercer used to call me the red hunk because he felt that I was the most attractive man in the guild and that I should be it's mascot to get more female recruits.. Funny thought that, considering that he turned out to be a huge narcissist. But looking on it back more made for some disturbing revelations indeed.

At this stage I was deep in thought that I didn't notice Petra returning. My feelings were haywire and what I said what was just based off what Nelacar told me but written in mead for notes.

I flirted with her, which she didn't fall for. She must have seen the bottles of mead still left on the table and made the conclusion I was drunk. Smart lass.

I digress though. She'd let me try and kiss her at least, but never took my admission that I loved her seriously enough. The words were too casual and funny and knew instantly that everything I said probably wasn't true to her and that I was messed up.

Looking back now, I was.

* * *

Aye, then after I woke up that morning, after seeing the black legs I turned my head around to look up at Petra, her bony thin face smiling at me. Still didn't care what she was. My head was groggy, but otherwise I was fine. I grinned back. So tired that I wanted to snuggle into her lap and stay there. But I found the irony the best part. She wasn't exactly comforting me in the sense that I had absolutely huge issues to solve like her, but she was patient enough to wait for me. It wasn't necessary, she could have left me behind if she wanted to. But she was still there, sharp teeth glinting at me.

I was worried that she'd taken offence to what I said. But she was..loss and relaxed underneath me. I still wanted to kiss her, aye. But if she didn't want me to kiss her properly, you know, with all that, mouth mashing and tongue slashing business, until AFTER she was cured, that was fine. I was glad she wasn't entirely adverse to the idea. But powerful butterflies fluttered in my stomach at the thought. Whether or not she loved me back or was just being a really good friend wrenched me from within. Both just made my cheeks warm.

"Morning." She spoke, voice lively, and awfully cheery with the hint of a laugh in there somewhere.

"Morning lass." I replied solemnly. Any start to the day with seeing her face was bound to be good.

"Are you ready to go to Morthal? Or do you want to rest a bit more? I have time. But you know, you kind of don't. Look at me, I'm already abusing my immortality. How selfish of me."

I chuckled.

"No it's okay there lass. I had a good night sleep. Especially with you here to warm me."

I didn't know whether the mead was entirely out of my system or Nelacar's advice latching on to me. But Petra went red at the words. Just beautiful. But I was still rattled for more words.

"Umm...yeah. Of course I was...I especially liked the part with you mumbling in your sleep."

My heart sank again and I caught my breath. Dear Gods. I sat up from where I was, trying to make it less awkward than it already was and shuffled myself off the bed.

"Okay, the less said about that the better, I don't want your elbow near my gut again. That hurt for days...Shor the agony!"

She laughed.

"No it wasn't all bad. You were singing softly."

Singing? I looked away, embarrassed. I knew there was a reason I didn't get drunk that often.

"I...oh...uhh..."

I stumbled for words but was at a total loss. Aye, this only happened after having one too many. Delvin told me so. Supported by Vex.

But all Petra was just...that endearing smile. She wasn't in pain anymore. Not that I knew of anyway. No one else has made me feel this way before.

"Now that's over with. Yes, let's get to Morthal as soon as we can."

I leant her my hand as I helped her off the bed. She had a twinkle in her eye. Mischievous even.

* * *

We'd left Winterhold with a new outlook with each other. Petra was surprisingly more happier, although maybe because she now had leverage against me and could use it. Great. My reputation couldn't stoop any lower. We'd got on our horses and made the long trek around the mountains, towards the west.  
I know this sounds uncharacteristic of me. Let me tell you love makes you do crazy things. Nelacars story opened my eyes to all the noise that it was ringing in my ears with. But if my theory is correct, that once, I've...informed Petra, things would either sink or swim across in terms of, well, getting something off my chest and perhaps alleviating any tension. Uh...by that I mean I would probably go back to normal. Good, reliable Brynjolf. Master Thief and Entrepreneur. I laughed at the latter.

"That song..." She spoke, breaking the silence as we walked about the snow-beaten tracks, looking over the sea of Ghosts and in our Nightingale to beat the cold, hoods up and happy campers.

"You got that from a bard?"

I almost froze. Lucky kept dragging me along, thankfully enough.

"I've heard lot's of songs from those rich smug coin-wasters. Remind me...which one was I singing?"

We walked alongside one another, as she looked away. I swore I heard a small laugh from her direction.

"You were singing a song about me..." She answered with a bit of a nervous tone in her voice.

I furrowed my brow.

"I was?" I questioned. Don't know any songs about her.

She laughed.

"Yeah...about a Dragonborn?" She reminded.

By Shor. Oh no.._.fantastic_...

"I heard it alright. People are praising you already with song lass. You're having an impact on these people and you don't know it."

She blushed and looked forward with a weak smile.

"It's nice...I'll admit. But can you do me a favour?"

Anything.

"Can you sing it again? For me? Uhh..it'll help the trip go faster."

I smiled back to her. How could I say no? It'll give her support and know that she's important after all. That people know what will happen and what is going to happen, eventually.

"Of course lass. Anything for you."

I wasn't the greatest of singers mind you. Bards aren't exactly favourable in my books. Often sleazy and outright boisterous and loud. But you had to admit that their songs were catchy and got into your head somehow. I think I heard it in a job in Solitude once... Yeah. I'd gone there while Petra was in hiding. Mostly to get in touch with our contacts there and such and such. So mostly work for the Guild. I stopped at the Winking Skeever to have a drink, in it's somewhat greenish tinted, warm lit and the smell of oil and imperial soldiers filled out the room... and one of the bards happened to open their mouth.

"_Our hero, our hero, claims a warriors heart..._"

The bard sung well...fortunately, I don't sing myself. I'm horrible at it.

"_I tell you, I tell you the Dragonborns come..._"

It helped remind me of the how crucial she was. For the future of this world to survive.

"_Of a Voice-wielding Power! Of the Ancient Nord art..._"

We're still thieves of course. We don't really care unless it starts affecting business.

"Believe, believe the Dragonborn comes..."

Petra was my responsibility. My heart couldn't bare it if she died out there.

"_It's end to the evil, of all Skyrim's foes._"

But we're both survivors ourselves and we work well as a team.

"_Beware, beware the Dragonborn comes..._"

I have to ensure that she lives though. She's a vampire now, but she's also a Nord.

"_For the darkness has passed, and the legend yet grows._"

While she may claim that Gods will have no use for her when she's done what she's needed to do. I thought otherwise.

"_You'll know, you'll know the Dragonborns come..._"

I smiled and felt a bit warm as Petra looked at me with her gorgeous face and made soft claps. Then I rubbed the back of my neck, being put to the nerves. I don't even like singing. But if it made her happy, then I was doing something right. Maybe it was out there with the more, notable areas of flirting. Even then, I would still fear her not recieiving any signal. But I was going to go in with conviction and and strength in my heart. Or not...

"Ahh a little louder than when you sang it while you were sleeping, but less drunkeness and no snoring."

I glared at her, not harshly of course.

"Hey! I do not snore!"

She laughed. My knees were wobbly.

"What ever you say Bryn...what ever you say."

I shook my head. I looked at the opportunities here. Both of us were alone out here. You'd think now would be the best time to tell her. But I still couldn''t open my mouth outright and say it.

Even when I wanted started the conversation in a serious note, I felt ill in doing so. She made me all hot and flustered just imagining myself saying it. I mean, when I thought about it properly, if I told her now, she would most likely reject me and say don't bother, I'm a vampire, then I wouldn't trouble her about it. I can't force her. It's not in my nature to say. But if I said it after she'd been cured, she'd think I'd only love her if she was human. Which was a load of tripe.

It's hard to find the right moment to say it. A thousand different scenarios with a thousand outcomes each floated in my mind. It's not worth the fuss I say. I tried to think. I will find an answer somehow, to push myself to do it and just say the words.

Thank the Stars I might still be able to get a kiss though.


	38. Morthal

**AN: I still find it amusing you are all desperate for a kiss, be patient, we'll get there. You might find this chapter somewhat pleasing to your tastes, even if it's not what you'd quite expect...  
**

**Chapter 38**

**Morthal.**

I owe Brynjolf too much now. It saddens me that he still persists in this. Part of me just wants to kiss him. I love that red-headed bastard and now it seems I love him a lot.

I don't know though, so many things are complicated. The other part just wants him to find happiness elsewhere. I still can't shake that perception. But I couldn't do anything until I was mortal again. There, I'd be able to be on equal footing with him again and don't feel like a threat to anyone any more. And maybe I'd come to some kind of conclusion on my feelings for him? What do you think friend?

Besides that, we made it to the Marsh central in one piece and banished our Nightingale armour, leaving us to our usual black guild armour instead. I still needed the hood though. That sun was a pain. I felt like I enjoyed our trip there however. But Brynjolf had been trailing behind me slightly and being awfully quiet on the way. I let it go since I thought he was still tired. I think I may have caught him falling back asleep occasionally. Resting him in my lap was fun. This might sound creepy but I was content watching him snooze like that. His face was rough to touch but to me it made my heart jump, but I don't think it jumped as much as it would if I was mortal. Which is why I needed to be human again. To feel human. Ultimately, being a Vampire had it's advantages, but during the day it was a pain. The sun burned my skin and made me feel weaker in general. I had no desire to feed just yet.

As a Vampire, sensations can be drastically different. I had a minor hunger for power before that could be easily ignored but now you hold a hunger for blood. It's an interesting sustenance, often the basis for powering blood magic. It held a life force and to devour it fresh from someone must make us feel alive. Almost...orgasmic.

Emotions tend to get crossed a lot. I guess that's just what it was when you were immortal. I wasn't exactly a moral person but I never crossed any lines. It's a grey moral line we work across everyday and we have those standards to keep for ourselves. Vampires...just have that horrible reputation that we're all out to get the cattle we call mortals...out for their blood as food.

I don't blame them. The temptations can be hard to just, simply put aside. But my strength allowed me to just...yeah I said this before didn't I?

I just wanted to get clearer on it though. When Brynjolf was sleeping, I touched his face with my finger. I could feel his pulse, but also the blood flow throughout him. Hot and sweet from his session with the mead. I couldn't help but touch him. Yeah it's wrong but I wasn't hurting him or anything. Yes because it's right to try and justify touching people without their permission.

See this is the sort of thing I'm trying to avoid right now. Bryn and I knew each other well enough and we trusted each other with our lives. I'd never break Bryn's trust like that...never!

He'd tried to kiss me while he was awake. He was out of his mind at that point and most likely had no idea what he was telling me. I liked Bryn and was willing to let him have one, harmless little kiss. I wish he kind of did actually, I wanted him to before he passed out. Then I decided, it was probably for the best that he didn't.

My time has taught me much. And I still had a lot more to learn. My heart is always open to Brynjolf, but at least I'm less assholish to people. I don't like crowds but they're more bearable nowadays. And I have Brynjolf to thank for letting me develop like I did.

Dragons were still on my agenda and now I was on my way to solving the problem. Time eased most things but others required a more delicate touch, or else it'd still be suicide to go out there with only half the problem solved.

I may not even get over the fear. I wanted to be able to put it aside and utilize what strengths I had so I can find alternate means to either possibly getting over it or be able to just..do something I dunno.

We wandered around the cold marsh, filled with fungi, with the odd deathbell and also had this low, ominous fog that seeped through the town. It even gave me the creeps, walking over the board-walks that linked the buildings around us. There was an argument around the Jarl's hall. Could always tell...often the biggest building.

Bryn and I approached the crowd and listened in to their concerns of safety of themselves and others. I wondered...was Morthal in danger?

We had to find Falion, where ever he was. We bumped into this sultry lady. I looked into her eyes and furrowed my brows as she walked passed and stopped beside me. Scantly clad in a dress with brown hair, there was a familiarity that I saw in her.

_I know you for what you are. This town's blood is ours. Leave it! Now we must return to our roles lest the sheep suspect the wolves._

She then continued to walk by without saying a word. Brynjolf crossed his arms, confused.

"What was all that about lass?" He asked me.

I blinked.

"Don't know...but I suspect she's..like me? I don't know. She just whispered...nonsense to me.

Brynjolf made strange looks.

"Odd...didn't hear a thing."

That had to be intentional. But this town had a Vampire crawling around it (not including me of course) and they didn't know it? If she could get away with it, why couldn't I? She must be highly skilled and powerful.

I had to turn to the man.

"This town...it doesn't feel right. We have to be cautious."

Brynjolf nodded.

"Aye lass. I hear you. Let's just get to this Falion lad and get out."

We first went to Moorside Inn. We talked with the Redguard innkeeper and queried about it. She was, hostile to say the least.

"Oh great another one wanting to haul on it on my brother..." She groaned, seething venom.

I rolled my eyes.

"We're...we're not going to haul it on him. I just need his help."

She made a forced chuckle.

"Yeah...and tell me the story about the rumours of vampires in town. Get out of my inn!"

* * *

"That went well." Bryn commented sarcastically.

I then gave him sceptical looks. But seriously, we were stuck. Morthal wasn't that large so surely it wouldn't be hard to find him. My main concern however, however, was this vampire woman (not me, the sultry lady) loitering around town.

We sat on the edge of the board-walk and tried to think of what we should do next.

"Let's just wander a bit. He couldn't have gone too far." Brynjolf suggested.

I retied my ponytail.

"Yeah I guess..."

Brynjolf shuffled himself closer to me, but he didn't wrap his arm around me, instead he placed his hand on my knee for some reason. I felt warm again underneath his touch. The stuff that just surpasses being a vampire was quite interesting.

"You're not letting that woman go are you?" He asked me, his concerned eyes drilling into me.

I didn't know what to think. A vampire roaming the town that apparently has some guy who's able to cure it and is no where to be found? Suspicious. Just...suspicious.

"We haven't looked hard enough. Come on, we may be able to talk to the Jarl..."

I looked him. The Jarl had to be reasonable about this.

Went walked into the Jarls hall, known as Highmoon Hall, then looked down at the elder woman sitting behind the large fire place in the middle.

We approached her, as she lay slouched in her rich clothing, old and wrinkled with black hair. A nord no doubt as she looked at his with weighed judgement. And brief analysis.

"I'm Jarl Ingrod Ravencrone, of Morthal. You two strangers...you come forth to me with worry and clouded faces. State your business."

I nodded.

"My Jarl, we're looking for a Redguard who might be here called Falion. Have you seen him."

She rubbed two of her fingers together.

"And you're here to state your doubts on the wizard like all the others hm?" She berated.

Brynjolf shook his head.

"No. We currently need his help." The man said sternly.

Ingrod snuffed. I really hoped she wasn't one of those stereotypical old grumpy women...and not like the Innkeeper either.

"How noble. Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to let you know where he is then." She told us.

I smiled. Finally.

"He's been kidnapped."

* * *

Fate liked to play it's hand on how much it hated me right about now. All these delays...I'll put up with it for now.

Ingrod explained how he was helping the town out as usual. He gets scorned because, hey, Nords don't generally trust magic users and there's often dozens of reasons why. I don't mind magic users myself. I can shout! That's already a power right there. Plus the whole slew of magical prowess brought on by vampirism of course.

But Ingrod was an odd sort. No not the grumpy old woman, although she did appear to be senile. She advised that the recent fire may have been involved with it all. And allowed us to investigate the burnt down property nearby to 'sift the ashes others have been fearful to touch'. Good. We had a start at least.

We left the Hall with the details needed to investigate. The house had a family of three. The father and husband Hroggar was the only survivor of the fire that killed his daughter, Helgi, and his wife and Helgi's mother. The theories have varied, but one that stood out was that Hroggar shacked up with Alva straight after. Ingrod stated that Hroggar blame his wife who spilled bear fat in the fire. But like all matters, this wasn't as simple as that.

Brnjolf and I searched around the remains of the burnt down building. I found something in the corner and bent down, when a white figure popped out in front of me, forcing me to fall backwards.

I looked at it closely. It was a ghost. Brynjolf wandered over, and helped me back on my feet.

"_Shor's bones._" I heard him mutter.

A ghost of a little girl.

"Hi there...daddy taught me not to talk to strangers...are you a stranger?"

I shook my head.

"Uh...no...we're friends of your fathers. What happened here?"

The girl looked down. She described how her house burnt down and that someone had tried to save her, but she'd once felt hot, then turned cold. I could have cried at the way she worded it. Just...terrible. Who would do such a thing?

"Hey, do you want to play hide and seek? We'll have to play at night, cause the other one is playing too."

I furrowed my brow, then forced a smile.

"Uhh yeah. Who's the other who'll be playing with us?"

The girl stood back.

"I...I can't tell you...she's so close!"

The girl, Helgi as mentioned, disappeared without a trace. Damnit. The girl had died and she just had to be cryptic. Definitely was not going to be easy. Now we had to wait a few hours until sun down.

I felt frustrated, then my tongue started to water. Oh great. I'm hungry.

I walked across the board walks, and wandered over to the benches outside the inn and rubbed my temples. As always Brynjolf came and sat next to me.

"Everything alright?" He asks me. Of course he's going to be concerned...I'm not gonna hide the truth from him.

"All this...I just wanted to be cured and now we have to jump through hoops in order to do so. I wish there was another way."

He patted my back.

"Don't stress it lass. If we have to wait until it's dark then fine. It'll probably work better for you anyway."

The air had that cold, muck stench to it. It's like mud's been shoved up your nose. I don't know how these people put up with it.

"..And I'm also...sort of..._thirsty..._" I croaked.

Brynjolf nodded. Not getting the picture here.

"Want me to get you a drink?" He asked me, not thinking straight.

I looked at him with a 'come on' look.

"Not that kind of drink Bryn..." I told him, hoping he'd get the message.

He then began to sit back slowly and made a o shape with lips.

Idiot. He tends to forget what I am, I believe.

"How bad is it?" He whispered.

I don't know. I think this was because all the nonsense was just getting to me and my stomach. The craving for blood was strong but I'll manage for now.

"I'll be fine. Just annoyed as all. I'll just meditate on it or something." I assured him.

He then leaned closer, making my heart beat faster.

"You...want some of mine?"

I slapped his face for even saying that. He rubbed his cheek and sat back again, defeated. Fool, don't make me.

"Sorry, just a suggestion..." He spoke solemnly.

I only rolled my eyes.

"I will not do that to you. Ever. Even if I'm desperate." I told him outright.

He appeared depressed, his face low. Bless him Talos, he wants to do everything but I feel so guilty by letting him do so without anything to give back. I just wanted to thank him and give him what he deserved after all this time. I tried to think of something. I mean, waiting until dark isn't going to do Falion much good in the end, I hope they're not going to kill him or something. But this is our best lead so far. Not much we could do in this stage, I'm afraid.

But in the meanwhile. I could cheer Bryn up a bit. You know, have some fun. I pondered, thinking of a brilliant idea.

I picked him up by giving my hand, and dragged him across town, much to his confusion and lead him towards the end of the boardwalk with, looking across the cold waters. I instructed him to sit down. I sat down behind him and smiled.

"Just...relax..."

He tried to, of course. But I whacked him every time he tensed up.

"What did I just say?" I scolded.

"Sorry lass, I'm just to think what you're...ohh..."

I slithered my hands up his back. It was difficult because of his armour, but I managed. I began to slowly and carefully pinch his shoulders underneath the pads on top of them, and rub my hands against them. So tense and hard. I could feel his muscles underneath.

"Mm..that's actually...not bad." He worded, stuck in a haze with my wonderful handywork.

His head liked to roll around, before finding itself lowered as I continued to massage him. I wanted to soften him up, but also I wanted to make sure he was comfortable. He's done so much for me, I only want to repay his kindness. This was all I could do for now, unless something else came up.

"_Mmm..._" He mumbled. I bit my lip, feeling a bit warm myself.

"A bit _lower_."

I smirked and complied, filtering my hands down and caressed and prodded my hands around his shoulder blades. I was really tempted to take all that armour off. You know, to see the show. Okay that sounded terrible. Apologies. Seriously, however, I think I was at that point where I just wanted to touch him and to feel his skin between my fingers and in my hands would be a dream, I could kiss it, feel every wound and scar. You don't become a thief without your own body telling tales. I know he praises me, calls me a perfect thief. There have been a few slip ups but nothing too major. But that's often what it took for me learn quickly in order for me to survive and to make coin on the side. I'm not gifted...I just happen to know what I'm doing.

That neck of his looking vulnerable though. I said I wouldn't do it to him like that but sometimes the thirst is unimaginably strong. I can will it away as much as I would like, but occasionally the needs can outweigh the wants. I closed my eyes tight and rubbed him faster, trying to shut out the voices telling me to feed.

The other part of me wanted to grab him and slam him down to the ground and straddle him. Alas, must think with my head and not with my loins This was a public area, though there wasn't much going on around us thankfully.

My main intention was just to make him feel better. We both would forever worry about one another, but for now I'd like to forget our troubles and just relax together. We had plenty of time...

"_RYAAAAAHH..._"

Plenty...of...time...

As always, I froze. The noise was distant, or else Brynjolf would have noticed. Vampiric Super hearing?

He only acknowledged that I stopped.

"Hey, why'd you stop? Petra?" He asked jokingly.

"_RYAAAHHHH..._"

His eyes widened.

"Ah...I see."

He turned to me, who was making this ridiculous expression of fear. Fantastic...just fantastic timing.

He appeared stern with me.

"Petra, listen to me...I'll take you to the inn. Don't pay any mind..."

I gritted my teeth, showing off my fangs. Bryn instantly raised his hands

"Hey! Don't get angry with me! I'm..."

He looked down at my hands, shaking and shivering. I was a whirlwind of rage and anxiety but neither were backing down. Tears were already running down. Seriously Brynjolf, I need to do this!

I started to force myself to talk underneath the innumerable amount of pressure.

"No...I am...not...not angry with you...I'm angry with...me...gotta...gotta get up."

I almost fell over a few times, but Bryn was there to catch me. My eyes dragged up slowly, as a shadow flew past rather quickly, and the ground beneath us shook under the sheer force of the beast.

"Lass, don't over do yourself please..." He whispered to me. I sneered as I got on my own two feet and scrunched my fists. I leered at him.

"Am I...going to know...? You and I...we...we both know that I have to do this...even if it kills me!"

And that was the first time I'd legitimately saw that Brynjolf was pissed off at me, he grabbed me and pressed me up against a nearby wooden poll. A shock went down my spine as the dragon roared around us.

"I'm sick and tired of your attitude. You...are...not...going...to die!" He grumbled. I hardly ever saw this side of him before. And it was terrifying.

I choked.

"Bryn, I'm sorry...just a figure of speech! No need to take it so literally..."

He growled at me, then let me loose. I rubbed my neck from the original strain. He heaved a huge sigh. I didn't mean...

"Forgive me, Petra...I..."

I slid down the pole, as my own courage failed to pick me up instead...I looked at him with teary eyes. I don't want him to do this any more. He didn't...

"I want...I want to kill it. I need...I need your help..."

He nodded and picked me back off the ground. He held my hand tighter than anything and refused to let me go. That way neither of us would slip off without the other.

The pair of us staggered as the dragon landed on the ground nearby. It was another red-scaled monstrosity. I hungered for it's soul.

Brynjolf pulled out his blade, while I pulled out the Nightingale blade. We summoned our corresponding armours with the intent of our abilities to take the beast down. I focused only on Bryn for the while and tried not to fall over per the extent of my own legs that were wobbly and currently not agreeing with me.

Only for Brynjolf to take us behind a building as it shouted fire at us. I reached for my bow...then looked at Bryn.

"Bryn, let...let me fire arrows at it. I dunno what that'll do..." I muttered to him, out of breath.

He grumbled.

"What we need, is that rage of yours. You are definitely able, I'm sure of it. You need to somehow tap into your own self, your dragon self, with the fire in your heart."

That kind of experience terrified me but it gave me some sort of relief as I charged at it from previous events such as this, and stabbed them to death. He was right though, I can do it. Only if I could find myself, my dovahkiin spirit from within and unleash it upon my timeless foe...

Memories please serve me well.

I couldn't stop the shaking, but I could move at least. Brynjolf just left and ran towards it, swinging his sword with his fury and nordic shouts...you know, the type of one you tend let out on in, not dragon shouts obviously.

FOOL!

I had no choice but to take a deep breath and swing around from behind. I got an arrow in one swift motion and pulled into my bow and made smooth aim as much as I could possibly could. Cease shaking Petra, just this once.

The dragon took notice of Brynjolf and shouted at him. Luckily he dodged in time and went behind the dragon itself. In it's distraction I let go, the arrow flinging straight into it's skull.

Something bled out from inside of me, what ever it was...anxiety? Maybe? I wasn't sure. But while one arrow made it's target, I needed many more.

I took another deep breath and willed away my quickened heartbeat (with failure of course, but it didn't hurt to try) and fired yet again. He caught hold of our act, but screeched as Brynjolf was hacking at it's tail. It swung it's tail at him, only for Brynjolf to block it, just barely and Bryn ended up being pushed back. Part of it got his arm, causing the red-headed nord to hiss at it's sting.

Oh boy, I was pissed now.

I instantly pulled out another arrow after arrow in swift, smooth and flowed motions.

"Fall to me Dragon!" I heard guards shout.

The Dragon flew back up into the air, shouting fire everywhere. I'd lost sound for a split moment, as Brynjolf was on the ground. I picked up the pace and ran towards him in quick haste. I knelt before him and examined his injuries.

"It's okay lass, ugh...only got my arm. Go get it...bring the bastard back down!" He roared at me.

I gave a weak smile and nodded.

"I'll...try and give the thing a quick death!" I called out stuttering. Damn this phobia of mine.

I shielded Brynjolf my whole body as the dragon flew around. It then flapped down and set a guard alight, sending the guard running and screaming in agony. I bit my lip. Keep it together Petra, for Brynjolf's sake.

I constantly shivered and shook no matter how I tried not to. The dragon made work of the nearby guards and came back to me as if to say, I'm going to do this to you. Not on my watch.

I rolled to my side, trying to lure it away from Brynjolf as much as I can. I got out a few more arrows and fired them at it, screaming and grunting with each shot. Focus Petra, that's it...keep going.

I landed eventually, staring me down with it's fiery eyes, intent on devouring me. No, I shall conquer it and devour it's soul. But my body stuck in one place, unable to move as it inhaled.

"Petra! Move!" Brynjolf shouted from afar.

I quivered and decided to inhale myself, shouting "_Yol!_" into it's face, burning it's scaly hide briefly and distracting it as it flailed.

The burning sensation started within my core. Like that time in the woods and that time in the Rift. The same reactive feeling like none other. It seeped it's self into my veins and into my very bones and deep into my spirit. I put my bow aside and took out the Nightingale blade.

Time liked to slow down around me as everything became a blur except the dragon itself.

In inhaled and cried as I ran towards it. I wasn't me...and it wasn't the vampire in me...but...

The dragon within, that compels me to dominate and destroy, that overcomes the fear and the phobic reactions from within. It makes me move, it takes control of my body and does all the work. I feel like I'm only there for the ride. My eyes are steely and my heart caught up in the cold and hot battle of my loss of control. I was weakened, mostly because I was a vampire walking in the daylights but this strength made me forget that for just this moment.

I jumped onto the things next, and slashed it's head, I continued to scream and cry out.

"**DIE YOU MONSTER!**" I roared

The beast flailed about, like caught prey trying to free itself. You are prey Dragon. You are prey to me..

It's blood splattered everywhere that it got underneath my hood. I licked it off of my cheeks...tasted _so good_. I removed the cowl and bit into the creatures neck with my intense hunger and razor sharp teeth, grabbing hold of it tight with my arms. Didn't know, didn't think it would be so good.

I cried into the air with blood on my face. The beast stopped moving. I jumped off the creature itself and watched it burnt. I hissed at it, then realised the guards were staring at me, stunned. I had the hood still on so my face was still caste in shadow. I put the cowl back on and...

I fell back into the normal phase once again. My behaviour...my hunger got the better of me...but I had used it for a purpose. I wouldn't...I shouldn't...

I'd run off after I had absorbed the soul and fled into the woods, the shame and guilt pouring back into me, now my dragon-self had reawakened and gone back to sleep.

* * *

This always happened. Always. A part of me just wakes up and takes control. I become a monster to defeat a monster. I'd possibly become more scared of myself than of the dragons. What was I becoming? I wasn't human any more...and I wanted to stay human. I felt sick and removed the cowl temporarily I ended up vomiting as I stumbled my out of the outskirts of the township, away from the people I wanted to protect. I knew this would happen...I knew and I let it happen anyway.

I hid behind a tree and sat against it, holding myself in and tried to get myself back together from all the pieces left lying around. I tried to recompose and calm myself down. I continued to whimper and sob into my knees. Petra...why?

Brynjolf found me hiding. Of course he did. I looked at his arm. He removed his hood as he sat down next me and laid his legs out. He then folded mine back as well. I didn't resist as I looked at him with my face riddled with dragon blood that I subconsciously licked. His face...softened but eyes still concerned about me. He got the cloak of his armour and wiped the blood off...as well as several tears. After cleaning me, he wrapped his arm around me and brought me close. I rested my head in the crook of his neck and while I was tense, I collapsed with his touch.

I looked at his injured arm and grabbed hold of it. He hissed as I took his glove off, to see the wound the dragon gave him. I silently offered to get rid of it. He didn't hesitate as I licked the blood off his arm, despite what I said earlier...it was appetising to me.

"_Mm..._" I moaned slightly.

I couldn't help but clean this myself, but I was careful not to bite him. I think tongue is safe as I lapped it up and tasted his flesh and skin. He winced and curled his toes as I did so, with his chest pushing forward and the back of his head almost digging into the trunk of the tree.

"Oh..._lass..."_ He whispered in response with a slight quiver to his voice. A pang went to my stomach. Was I causing him pain...or pleasure...it certainly made him wriggle somewhat. I made sure swallowed it all up (seriously sounds so wrong, my face was heated up just thinking about it. GET OUT OF MY HEAD URGH), then I put the glove back his arm tight. He shouldn't be bleeding anymore, but I want to get him a potion just in case. I ensured that I suckled it gently as my tongue stroked around his wound. Do Vampires have a type of antiseptic? Wait, that might be the werewolves. Dunno. Have no idea. The books never told me that. Oh wait, yes they did. Vampires were infectious but careful. I was being ultra careful to make sure Brynjolf didn't catch it.

He looked at me with a rather flirtatious smile that did me in...he enjoyed that?

"Looks like you took me up on my offer anyway..." He muttered a smug and flirty expression. Oh Gods he _liked_ it!

I rolled my eyes at him. Great. I allowed myself to break what I said.

"That was a cut from a dragon, not me." I told him. I'll justify myself with loopholes. I was just looking after him as well. He cleaned me, I cleaned him.

Bryn snorted.

"Of course...of course. May I ask, who had tastier blood?"

I elbowed him in the stomach, a oof escaping his lips. So immature...

"Can't believe you're actually asking me that! You pig!" I scolded him.

He was laughing and choking at the same time.

"I'm joking lass, I'm joking. Can't imagine you being some kind of blood critic." He stated.

Thought was funny enough. Yeah this one needs a bit more iron and less...what ever else was in blood. I don't study bodies myself I have no idea. You'd have to be a bit more descriptive other than saying it was sweet. But Brynjolf's still had the taste of mead in them, as I expected. The dragons blood thought, tasted odd, like too much iron mixed in with what ever else. Actually more bitter to be honest.

"No. Gods no..." I replied weakly.

Brynjolf gave me a bit of a squeeze to let things know they were alright now. And I did feel a bit better. Recovered quicker than I expected.

"I'm sorry for uhh...yelling at you earlier." He said with sadness.

"I just didn't..."

He looked away for a brief moment, living in the dredges of the past. I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me. I gave him a warm smile.

"It's fine, honestly. If I'd known you would have reacted like that, I wouldn't have said anything at all. I...I."

There was the bleakness in his eyes that shimmered within. His beautiful, bright green eyes...

My own darted between them and his cracked lips. I imagined they would be better than blood any day. He filled in with what parts of my mortal life that I lost to this curse. I owed him a lot and starting today, I was going to start paying him back. But I was going to make good that I didn't kiss him just yet, no matter how badly I really wanted to. I respected him a lot as friend...although I wanted more. I smiled and smacked my hand on his leg.

"So! We still have a few more hours to skill...you still need that massage."

Brynjolf chuckled.

"Sure!"

Thank the Gods...I love him too much.


	39. Night in the Marsh

**AN: I actually don't like vampires in Skyrim. In my opinion, they're impractical and tedious to maintain just for all these abilities and the stats decreases during the day. I mostly did the Vampire Lord stuff for the achievement. So, naturally, I like killing them lol. Well, here's my twists and turns for one of the first quests in Morthal you may encounter. And I predict people will like chapter 40. Maybe. Can't say what it consists of, only you'll have to wait. Read on for the vampire hunt and Brynjolf's take on it!**

**Chapter 39**  
** Night in the Marsh.**

I couldn't believe I lashed at her like that. I just didn't want her throwing her life away like that. She means too much to me as is and I get terrified every time she goes off in a tangent. But I must tell myself, convince myself that she's getting better at it and that to take every day as it comes. In my heart, seeing her fight it off like that despite the fear, was much more lively and capable then the first time I'd seen her fight a dragon.

She recovered, I recovered like nothing had just happened there. I have to say I'm quite proud of the lass. She calls herself a beast and when I watched her give into her thirst, my heart skipped a beat. I wasn't concerned for myself but for her and the way she'd taken that dragon down was...admittedly, inhuman. But she wanted this gone. And if she wants it gone then I'll be glad to get rid of it.

There was much more than I was used to. The Guild did its work without the overly flashy dramatic powers involved. We did it and that was that. Day by day job. I'd never thought that meeting Petra would make my life more exciting now. I actually have to thank her for that. Despite our issues, I've never had much more fun with it. Exploring, finding secrets...like a storybook. In all manners of seriousness, Petra gave me the most touching ahem, uh nicest massage. I relaxed underneath her capable hands and could have fallen asleep if she'd let me. We then went back to the Inn, despite the Innkeepers protests. We convinced her yet again we weren't looking for her brother and were just looking to kill time. Sorry, bad words.

"There was a dragon in town, in case you weren't aware. There are worse things than us that may end up killing your brother." Petra said coldly. But she was right.

The Innkeeper sighed and apologised to us both and gave us each a free bottle of mead to make up for it. Alright then.

We sat there and Petra made sure I didn't go overboard with the mead this time. But we were just awaiting the night to find this ghost girl. After what happened at Irkngthand with Mercer, I'm willing to believe anything at this point.

And so we waited until sundown, theorizing where the girl would be hiding. We'd say she hadn't gone far from town. Just a ghost thing really. Petra reckons they tend float around where they died if they hadn't gone anywhere else, and she feels that she'd be around somewhere. I hate ghosts period. We agreed to check on the graveyard nearby where she was buried.

Come sundown, when most of the locals hushed inside the safety of their homes, we trekked into the night. Most people around here hear noises. Sounds either like a shared case of paranoia, or this town has a legitimate vampire problem. More locals had came into the inn, complaining how the Jarl wasn't doing anything about it. We were silent before we decided to leave and listen in to the conversations they were having. The big topic was when Petra took down that dragon earlier. A few seemed convinced it was a set up, others wagered that there was some kind of huge illusion spell, or they were all drugged. Laughable, each excuse.

Petra didn't care for the stories. But I had an inkling that when the mentioned the part where she sucked the blood out of the dragon itself, made them wonder what was really out there, more powerful creatures that can suck out the soul of dragons, alongside a slew of insults, petty and benign. She tried to not let that get to her. Good on her.

We left for the graveyard nearby. Our feet fell soft into the marsh, with the sound crickets and the torchbugs that were active at night. We couldn't see much, given the darkness, but Petra assured me she had the ability to see better at night.

We approached the small cemetery with caution, seeing a small coffin dug out of the ground. Now that's just being disrespectful. Petra crouched near it, checking it out properly.

"_You found me_!" A young voice echoed. Scared us both yet again.

"_But the other one is close, I can feel her. Make her go away._"

I was puzzled to what the spirit child was saying, until Petra heard noises behind us.

She pulled out her blade as she saw another woman, clad in some kind of weird red dress like armour, holding a torch in her hand. Petra hissed at the woman, summoning her Nightingale wares as she attacked us both.

Petra knocked me aside as the two fought it out. It was made by apparent, by the look on her face, that the lass was also a vampire. Petra dodged and weaved around her and one swift motion, sliced her head clean off, to my surprise. Petra cleaned her blade with her cloak and changed back into her normal armour. It all went too quick for me to even describe it properly. I feel left out... We went back to the girl, who mentioned she thanked us for getting rid of the woman, Laelette. I looked at Petra. We were both disturbed by the implications of what went on. I drew my sword when I heard another set of footsteps nearby. Turns out it was a local from the town, watching the whole thing unfold. He went to the body and weeped over it, unravelled by the fact she was a vampire.

Part of that made my stomach churn something fierce. He loved the woman, but she was...off...

Petra began questioning the man, who mentioned that Laelette wandered off, probably to join the Stormcloaks. But now he knew the truth, but remained convinced that she herself died elsewhere. One of my main fears about Petra and it was easy to see. I worried about her so much that she'll turn out like this. I know she is stronger than that, but you can't help but think that way. The man mentioned that she once hung around Alva before she disappeared. That's where we needed to head off next. But the man's odd behaviour struck me first on the suggestion that Alva was the one who prompted her to burn the house down, claiming Alva wouldn't have done such a thing.

Petra's expression suggested she was thinking otherwise, knowing what kind of trickery was going on. We let the man go, but Petra's brow continue to furrow as she pinched the top of her nose.

"What are ya thinking there lass?" I questioned, hoping to speed things along.

"Laelette was a vampire but not the one I bumped to into town. This...Alva. Sounds like a local. Do you think?"

Couldn't be a coincidence.

"I have no doubt in my mind. What's your take on it though?" I questioned.

She started to pace around.

"Well Vampire's have incredible abilities to influence people. Make people their thralls. It's a possibility that she's brainwashed them into thinking she's innocent...or what ever."

I think I remember reading about it. The Guild makes you blind to the more dangerous works out there. Vampire's were just something you read in stories.

"I've raised undead thralls but we're talking about ones that are still alive. Even so, Alva is clever enough to cover her tracks about, ward suspicions off herself by getting someone else to do it."

Sounded like the Guild half the time.

"Aye, so she casts these spells on the people so they don't suspect her. Clever."

Petra nodded.

"Not clever enough. We should take this information to the Jarl at once."

We wandered into town on the precedence that Laelette was taken care of and was the arsonists in question on the possibility that Alva was the main schemer. However, once we informed the Jarl, she didn't expect that Alva would be the culprit. Even with all the rumours, she needed evidence on that. Another part of Alva's tricks it seemed.

We walked outside, partially defeated but not giving up hope.

"Looks like we'll have take matters into our own hands." Petra commented.

I rose an eyebrow.

"What, like killing that woman wasn't?" I joked.

Petra groaned.

"I mean, we'll have to treat this like a job remember? Sneaking around, taking things..."

I smirked. And she smirked back as I realised what she meant.

"Of course lass. Well, this your operation. I will let you decide what we need to do then."

Petra is very capable. No doubt. She's strong, smart. Just needs a bit of push to wield the courage to utilise them both. And the confidence.

I took her lead as she ushered out her plan. She'd heard some locals talking about Hroggar and how he was living in Alva's house. We then figured out where she lived, as she wandered out of a nearby house and went towards the inn. Her plan was to go inside the house, find what evidence she could use and get out. She ordered me to stay outside while she snuck in there. Alva happened to walk by. I had to keep an eye on her, to ensure she doesn't get in Petra's way. I watched Petra sneak around, cast some kind of invisibility spell as she adorned her Nightingale armour and went in. Meanwhile I followed her around until she was inside the Tavern. I kept looking back and forth between the building and the Inn. I saw Alva wandering out soon after, no doubt heading back home. I got out of the shadows and made the attempt to distract her. She saw me on the board-walks and went straight for me. Everything about her made me uncomfortable.

"Oh hello there handsome..." She spoke, her voice riddled with lustful connotations.

I nodded.

"Hello. Nice night?"

Her smile sickened me. I'd been around Petra long enough now to see the signs of a formed vampire.

"Yes it is." She replied, giving me bedroom eyes and examing me from top to bottom.

"It certainly is cold lass. What are you doing out wearing that?"

She pressed her hands on her chest, I looked away. I wasn't interested in a whore.

"Oh I have thick skin. Cold never bothers me too much. You look too warm in that outfit."

Her flirting was subpar. Didn't effect me. Hey, I'm already smitten. There is nothing you can do.

I wasn't afraid to flirt back though. It was all in the act. Though I do wish Petra would hurry up. I had to make do.

"Aye, it looks it. But it's fine. Keeps me warm enough." I continued.

She nodded, then bit her lip.

"I believe I saw you in town earlier, with that other woman. You two didn't have rings on so you're definitely married."

I had to make up some tripe still. Petra, where were you? I crossed my arms, getting impatient.

"Oh we're betrothed. We're mostly out adventuring. Her father wants me to prove I can take care of her, by travelling all the holds."

Don't know anyones father would do that though.

"Oh, congratulations then. I'm sure you'll both hold, long healthy lives together."

That had to be sarcasm right there. I could taste it.

"Thank you."

I heard a door open nearby. It had to be Petra for sure, back with some information I hope.

"Well, I better get going. I'm just gonna meet her in the inn." I told her.

She smiled at me again.

"I hope to see you around again some day."

* * *

I met up with Petra beside the inn. She'd gotten hold of Alva's journal. Thankfully. I was sick of listening to her. She made me squirm. And it's hard to get me squirming, believe me. The journal contained the details about a vampire coup on Morthal itself. We should have suspected that this was the case. So we'd gone to the Jarl with the evidence itself, and quickly changed her tune. In no time flat, she gathered some 'able bodied warriors' to help up clean a den nearby, written in the journal as lair ruled by a vampire master known as Movarth. Petra wondered if this was this was where Falion was taken. If so, then we were one step closer to getting Petra cured. He better still be alive, or there will be Oblivion to pay.

Petra and I went on ahead to this particular den ahead of everyone else. We wore our armour yet again, and I followed Petra's lead as we traversed the marsh in the dark. She used her special to lead us to a cave that we'd come across. We wandered inside. Like many other caves you'd find, this one was especially dark, rocky and had the stench of death lingering around. At least Petra either made the effort to suppress or cover the smell, I got used to it, or as a pure-blooded vampire, she doesn't make any odor of herself at all. I'm inclined to believe that the second one, but that would just be insulting.

There were several spiders hanging around in the first cavern, but Petra made quick work of them, several accurately placed arrows later, they laid colder on the ground where they belonged.

We encountered some more vampires the further we went. The stench got worse too. I'm thinking that we may need those prongs we mentioned some time ago. But I'll get over it.

We snuck around, taking down vampires left and right. Petra was amazingly calm about it. Though she considered herself a Nord in all regards and taking down those she would consider her kin didn't appear to weigh on her conscience. She would slay them like any other foe and not have any hesitation about it.

We eventually came across something akin to a main chamber or a dining room, with tables and chairs fashioned for a party of some sort. Several vampires were feasting on Gods know what, with what appeared to be a head vampire, Breton of origin, wearing similar styled clothes to what Laelette was wearing. This must have been Movarth.

I kept watch on Petra, ready to follow her lead and support what ever decision she made. She looked the room over thrice.

"I can't see a redguard anywhere...can you?" She whispered to me as we kept our sneaking position.

I shook my head.

"No. But I do see other walkways leading elsewhere. I think we should take this guy down and keep looking."

Petra agreed.

"Okay then. Let's go."

We wandered round, with Petra aiming her bow at the bretons' head.

"I know you're there you know. I could smell the blood of my kin as they died underneath your tyranny..."

I looked at Petra. I was kind of glad someone agreed that they smelled.

Petra stood up. No use for hiding anymore, anyway.

The other vampires looked at us as we walked up to the big man.

"Yet I see that you're one of us. You hunger for the sweet tastes as we do, and yet you oppose us. Why?"

His tone was part disappointment and part annoyance. I stayed on guard, watching over them all.

Petra shifted and crossed her arms. It'd give her the chance, maybe her last chance to talk to anyone else like her with some ounce of civility.

"Where is Falion?" She asked, her voice calm and sounding more business like than anything. She had that down pat.

"The Wizard? Oh he wanted to be here. Though he chickened out at the last minute. His skills in magic are useful to us and lets just say he's not allowed to leave." Movarth replied, taking a sip of his tankard. Ugh...

But then I saw Petra give him a death-defying glare. It was similar to when she'd faced down the dragon earlier. Could she tap into this violent side a lot easier now? I only had to watch and observe what she would do. Ultimately, she'll do the right thing.

Being the, possibly, only mortal in the room didn't help. Eyes were darted on me, like I was just a piece of meat. Hah, I'd like to see them try. But Petra was going to see this through. She had to. For her own sake.

"Oh that's too bad. I intend to take him on. You see, you are all just...thin-blooded animals with no respect or honour. Just, rotten wannabees."

Movarth got up from his chair and glared at her.

"Your insults are as petty as a soul gem. I cannot allow you take him from us! Attack!"

It become a bloodbath quickly enough. I'd gotten my blade and used my Nightingale strength to overturn and destroy any of these weak pathetic excuses for creatures. But I remembered they were monsters of the night and worked better in the shadows that we need.

At least, that's when I saw Petra fighting it off with Movarth. I'd dealt with the last few vampires, and charged over to help her.

The breton was against the wall. I could only watched as Petra strut towards him, confidence straightening her spine out. She had her hood on, but I know she was giving him Oblivion for it.

"It's a shame. You have potential." Movarth complimented.

Petra hissed.

"Because I am not as mindless as you are, thin-blood. You know who I am..."

The lass pulled back her hood and let him see into her fierce eyes of garnet, her sharp teeth glinting as she smiled at him. And that was no innocent smile. That was seductive, dark and all out destructive. She was out to prove herself.

Movarth's sneered at her

"Yes, you're a Daughter of Coldharbour, favoured by Molag Bal himself."

Petra gave a subtle nod.

"That I am, that I am. I have no doubt you are the strong type, bringing Morthals residents to be your cattle. I won't allow that to happen. Brynjolf, get Falion!"

I nodded and ran off down one of the hallways, trusting Petra to deal with the dreaded monster the death he deserved.

* * *

It was hard to part with her, I'll tell you. I heard some strange noises as I left but had to tell myself constantly that she'd be fine on her own. This is what being in love does to you. Makes you more paranoid than Stormcloaks worrying about Imperial Spies. I over thought too often and needed to clear my head to seek what was right and what was easy. Though, Petra reminded me earlier that we may miss the work we did for the Guild, we can still use our skills to get by. And it does work of course.

I usually trained myself every so often, made sure my skills didn't too rusty. My father trained me with a sword as a boy and I still have that dwemer sword he gave me. He was one those nutjobs that was always fascinated with Dwemer ruins. I never paid mind to it. It was all too boring and never paid attention to any of his lessons. My mother was apathetic too. Not outright ignorant, she was too busy tending to our farm to do much.

She..died from mental illness. Drove my father mad himself. We both we devastated when she died and dad just...focused more on his work than he did on me.

I tended to the farm until I was older and wanted something more exciting. By then my father had a new woman in life. I hated her and I left as soon as I could. That brought me to the Thieves Guild.

Which is in part why I hate people like Alva, just...decided to fill a void that never needed to be filled by anyone us.

There was another room, a bedroom in fact. With someone else in the room. I kept myself cautious with my blade in hand. I was ready to kill until.

The woman turned around. Speaking of a void...

"Oh, on another adventure with your betrothed I see?" She spoke, seductively. By the Nine not this again.

I had the intent to kill her, if Petra decided she didn't want to kill her instead.

"You two could have left well enough alone! But, all I can do now is try to convince you at least. I could...turn you. Grant you with the gifts..."

With a tightened grip on my blade, what made her think that I was even going to comply with that?

"Very funny. At least I don't go plotting to burn down buildings with innocent children inside them!"

Alva gave me the worst glare.

"You think I wanted that? Laelette was such a fool. I'm glad you got rid of her. She'd messed up everything."

Since ones love for their own kind was still strong within. Ahem.

"But you...don't you know your beloved is a vampire? Are you so blind to see that? How long until she turns you!" She berated.

Oh that's where she was wrong. I knew. I knew the woman beneath the curse all along. What was within her spirit and what ever she became would never change. If it did, then I was either talking with someone who wasn't Petra or Gods forbid, she was dead. You poor, depraved woman Alva.

"Aye she is." I started, confidence rising.

"But she's in more control and more powerful than any of you. I can just kill you now and be ridden of one less hassle in the world."

It was interesting how her whole face just became more hideous as she tried to attack me. I had no real magical tricks up my sleeve though. I work with the shadows but it's difficult when you're already fighting someone better at using them. I kept up the good fight.

She tried casting several spells, making me feel weaker. She used some kind of magical attack that forced me against the wall nearby. I snarled at her as she screeched at me.

"Go on...get me bitch!" I taunted her.

She smirked, then slammed her teeth into my neck. I wanted to scream but she forced her other hand on my throat. I took the opportunity to grab my blade and stab it in her chest and jammed in there as hard as I could, causing her screeches to nearly deafen me!

I got the strength the kick her away, before stabbing her in the throat and leaving her to die. I wandered over, sore from the bit and placed my boot upon her chest. As blood poured all around her she gagged, finding her attempts amusing.

"There...I saved your life. Live the good life with your lover." She croaked before passing.

I cleaned my blade while thinking that I was having a bad day. I really needed to train myself more in order to properly defend myself. I've been in the shadows too long, I'm afraid.

I began to sweat and feel weary briefly, but I persisted. I found Falion in an nearby cage, frozen by some kind of magic. I picked the lock quickly, breaking the spell. The Redguard regained his breath and thanked me.

"Oh thank the Divines you found me. Gods know what they were going to do to me. Please, let's get out of here."

I nodded.

"Aye...we'll grab my associate on the way out..."

We wandered back into the main hall, to see a tall, thin grey creature with bizarre wing like contraptions on it's back. I squinted, only for them to turn around.

"Wait, is that...an actual Vampire Lord?" The Redguard spoke of with awe, not even remotely afraid or aware. I'm not going to judge but really. Who does that?

Vampire Lord...though...that had to be Petra.

She turned around as Falion ran up to her. She was surprisingly taller than him as she leered down at stare a the strange man.

"Let's just say it's an honour to finally meet a pure-blooded vampire. You know how hard those are to find."

She paid him no mind as she lifted her head back up to me. Even though she wasn't her, I could still seer her face behind the black eyes, pushed up knows and tusk like teeth.

She tilted her head and completely ignored Falion. She floated up and flew towards me as I walked down the stairs. She pressed her claws on my neck, examining my wound.

"They got you didn't they?" She spoke, her words echoing in my mind. It felt, intimate, exclusive.

I nodded.

"Aye. Alva of all people, hiding out here."

She continued to check out the marks left on my skin. The bite felt pretty deep, as my face continued to warm, with sweat trickling down from my brow. I was ill and feverish.

"Did you take care of her?" She asked me.

I smiled.

"I took her down of course. Nothing left but her even more lifeless corpse."

Petra grinned. She had no problem with me seeing her in this form of hers. I guess she had bigger things to worry about. I knew that she trusted me and I trusted her.

She turned to Falion and lifted her index finger, curling it back as she glared at him.

"You, step forward." She called out to him coldly.

The Redguard hurried over. Petra ushered him to take a look at the wound. She showed him how it was, even though I couldn't see it for myself.

"He's infected. Do you think we still have time to cure him?"

No! Petra, this was about curing you! Don't worry about me! I'll be fine.

Falion rubbed his chin.

"This is just the first phase of Sanguinare Vampriris. He is just weakened, but luckily we can just treat it as a disease for now. All he needs is a potion. But he better get it quick. Leave it too long and you'll get the hunger for blood."

I shivered.

"This is about Petra though. We heard that you might be able to help cure her." I told him.

He seemed relatively stunned.

"What? You want to be cured? But your strength, your gifts!"

Petra crossed her arms. She was none to pleased with those words.

"The strength is nice but I don't feel human. I was already a night-walker, but I'd prefer my journey be taken seriously throughout. Maybe get my sleeping patterns adjusted. I'd want to stand out without getting burnt to a crisp. Plus I'd like not to give into temptation, if you don't mind."

I observed the Redguard. He was still confused.

"But, you're a Daughter of Coldharbour! You must have met Molag Bal an...ACK!"

Next thing we need was Petra's long claws of ebony wrapped around his throat. I had to admit, she carried him like he was but a feather in the wind. The power seemed potent enough but she wanted to be who she was and not a reminder of Mercer did to her. I fully understood why she wanted it. She wanted the remainder of his influence purged and the pain to cease. While...the memories of Mercer may not fade, at least to allow her to move on properly, without being seen as an abomination.

"Listen to me! You will cure me. I have a black soul gem! I was said to need it. But before we do. I want you to cure Brynjolf first!"

She was so demanding. I'm sure I could maybe wait till morning. Then again, He did say not to let it fester.

"Alright, alright put me down. Let me see...I may have...ahuh...yes. Here. I had this in case they decided to infect me."

He had handed be a squarish red bottle after finding it somewhere in his pouch. I looked at Petra who nodded to me in approval. I opened the bottle and sniffed it, before drinking the whole thing. Bottoms up.

In that near instant I felt heaps better, that fever ceasing every moment, while Petra lathered what blood I had there. It tickled, with Falion looking on with the most weirded out expression on his face. I kept forgetting how odd this would have looked to other people.

"While it would be disappointing to see a specimen of the pure-blooded variety to go away, I can understand your concern. I once contemplated becoming a vampire myself, but I had my own reasons not to. Come on, I'll show you what we need to do next."

* * *

We'd been successful in dealing with the problems of the town and now they had now no more vampires to fear from. While that's never really guaranteed, they would have to sleep better at night because of it. Petra went back to normal as we followed Falion through the marsh in the midst of the cloudy skies and fogged grounds. We kept an eye on him as we drifted close by... He eventually lead us both to a strange type of area, possible part of the ritual itself. It had three ancient spires across it. Petra gave Falion the black soul gem, and I watched from afar as the wizard prepared the ceremony.

Petra stood in the middle while Falion stood in front of her and raised his arms, his face towards the the realm of Kynareth.

_"I call upon Oblivion realms.  
The home of those who are not our ancestors. Answer my plea!_ _As in death there is new life, in Oblivion there is a beginning for that which has ended._ _I call forth that power! Accept the soul that we offer!_ _As the sun ends the night, end the darkness of this soul, return life to the creature you see before you!"_

There was a slight moment of stillness, making me wonder if it had actually worked. I crossed my arms and tapped my arm and was about to get really until..

A bright light swirled around Petra, golden tendrils that were brighter than the sun, the energies also rose her into the air, much to her dismay and confusion Once she was covered with it, the power dispered as a mass amount of energy that flung out in the explosion, causing Petra to drop down to the ground unconscious.

I didn't hesitate to run over to her to check if she was alright. I went on my knees and carefully rested her hand on my lap. It took her a but, I was instantly relieved when she batted her eyelids, reawakening.

It was dark, so I could look at her face clearly enough. She sat up and rubbed her head. I smirked.

"You gave me quite a scare there lass. You okay?" I asked her, of course.

She nodded and swung her arms a bit, standing up. I was more worried about her falling over again, but like many other times she proved me wrong. She gave me me a more concerting look when I stood up to me her expression.

"Fine, better actually. Don't feel as cold as I did and on the plus side. I'm human?"

Falion approached and nodded.

"Yes indeed. Welcome back to the living!"

You know what? Petra never looked better. We thanked Falion for his work, who stated that it was all he could in thanks for saving him. We waved him off as he returned back to his home.

Petra herself however, needed a drink. And just a mead this time and not some weird desire for blood. We both felt better in fact as we went back to Moorside Inn. We let the Innkeeper know her brother's safely back home and pretty much offered us drinks on the house.

This hero thing was mostly infectious, not that I originally wanted it. I mean, all you'd do is end up in some forgotten story, but then you see people like the Innkeeper, Jonna I mean, and you feel like you've actually made a difference in the world. I don't think I've come to Morthal for many other reasons, since the coin and loot here wasn't really worth while taking, which kept me focused to the main cities of course.

But it's a strange, unfamiliar feeling. I've never known to be exactly noble. But I've also thought, that I might not be cut for it either. I've been injured by a dragon and infected on the same day. That's not something I want on my reputation as the man who couldn't fight. While Petra had to will herself to do what she needed, it doesn't make her any less of a fighter. She was born to that sort of thing and not really needing to tag along with our outfit.

I needed to keep myself prepared more. I expect more craziness to come forth. Especially while I'm with Petra.

Speaking of which, she was so full of energy tonight. I guess she was excited about finally having a new lease on life, which I don't blame her. We sat there, having a drink when she suddenly turned to me.

"I'm thinking of going now. We'll have to go to Ivarstead. We may be able to get there by late afternoon. What do you say?"

I blinked.

"You sure? You're going to be vulnerable to fatigue now, don't forget about that lass." I warned her as while she was alive, she was more susceptible to certain...normal conditions.

As predicted, she brushed me.

"Pffff! That's okay. I'm Nocturnal...if you know what I mead."

That was a bad pun, but I couldn't help but smile when she laughed.

"Yeah yeah...alright. It's settled then? Let's get the horses.."

She didn't appear to be tired so I wasn't going to argue. We left the Inn to tell the Jarl the good news and we were rewarded with decent pay. Hmm...pays to be good I suppose. Here was me thinking people were rotten to the core.

No matter, we readied ourselves to head to Ivarstead. And thank the Gods for this glorious night.


	40. Storm

**AN: Remember what I said about you liking this chapter? Well, here it is! And be wary, it's just a tad graphic, but you might enjoy that kind of thing. (wink wink) but it also is rather humorous to mix things up, (I hope). Read on!**

**C40**

**Storm**

Who's idea was to stroll around this time of night? Worst being, it had started to rain!

Ugh...

Brynjolf and I could barely see a thing in the darkness, and we were getting drenched. Nocturnals luck my ass! We were busy arguing and yelling at each other under the heavy course of piercing drops, which were more icy than anything! We could see the lightning in the distance. Good going Petra. Now you've lost us in the middle of a damned storm!

I admit it was a terrible idea. We should have slept the night at the Moorside Inn and left for Ivarstead in the morning. But _nooooOOoooo, _despite being exhausted, I was too eager to stay in one place, especially with my destiny in hand. I have no doubt I'd forget my experiences a vampire, but to be part of the living again, mortal even, was just a huge breath of fresh air. Being a nord, it's no doubt that we prefer the dead stay that but we're often too prideful to realise our ancestors had become a threat but not under their own doing. Vampires are different though. I was willing to do what it took to defeat Mercer, while the memories were never going to pleasant, I made the well worth sacrifice to do so, even if meant me being undead to the hatred of Stendarr and Meridia, both Aedra and Daedra respectively, and lingering parts of _his_...essence were long gone. Although I still had Chillrend, I kept it as a reminder of what occurred and not to forget the choices I've made.

But this choice. Ugh, compared to that, _worst_ mistake. Wet strands of hair kept violently flicking me in the face. Part of hair had fallen out of my ponytail and I couldn't just stop to fix it. We were desperate to find somewhere dry and warm to wait until morning, as well as for the rains to cease.

One could say during my tenure as an immortal left me with a bit too much confidence in terms that I wouldn't have to worry too much about overexerting myself. A bit of blood sufficed and I was never really craving anything else. But somehow, the mead just tasted better on a live tongue than an undead one, the texture, the flavours...just...was better.

Blood wasn't too flash but you have this craving for it all the time. Tasting blood for the first time wasn't glamorous, but you feel the sense of relief when you get the right amount to feed on. It develops as a natural necessity and everyone has a different taste. But you no longer enjoy most of the standard pleasures in life. Good food, good company...the need to touch another. I didn't miss the coldness it brought. I wasn't complaining, but when your skin feels like ice you are instantly reminded that yes, you are on the border of life and death itself, with old blood magics keeping you that way. Not exactly natural is it?

I think the main reason for me being overexcited was that I was reinvigorated, that my own soul had returned to me. Still Dragonborn, I think...or either they took my mortal soul and my own was sort of, replaced by one of the dragons I've already slain? How...how do they know? No idea. I'd rather talk to a soul gem expert on that one. Or a soul expert. I dunno. Was it because it was in my blood and not my soul? Dunno...magic is never really logical or explained thoroughly. I don't want to think about it.

So we're still rummaging through the dark and wet, with no town or city in sight, but from the small amounts of lit up areas I did see, we may have been in the tundras of Whiterun. Although we did see sort of house nearby. I then remembered, that I've been here before on my travels. Some guy, I found that his name was Lund. I came here once before asking for directions to where ever. Can't recall where I was heading to, but turns out the place was infested with skeevers and the mans dead body on the bed. So, the honourable thing was to take care of the skeevers and bury the man outside. I cleaned up the house, even though no one was living in there, because it was the respectful thing to do.

I made the suggestion to Brynjolf, who grumbled at me. Perhaps not his first choice, but he better be grateful that there was shelter at all! We trotted over and tied our horses outside. Door was still unlocked, as I left it. I would like to think that I'd subconsciously done that for situations like these. I dunno. Logically, we should have left it be.

* * *

We went inside, place still dark itself. We lit the fires and the candles around us. The first brush of the heat of flames, while they did not singe, obviously, but the way you could feel the water steaming off was wondrous. Certainly still homely enough for the both of us. And the place didn't have the stench of death in it.

"By the Gods that feels great..." I spoke as I exhaled with relief, placing my hands near the fire.

Brynjolf rolled his eyes.

"Aye...we were lucky that we even found this place. No ones home though...are we trespassing?"

While the thought of trespassing came across as amusing, considering we pretty much do that anyway, we were in a way, but I told Brynjolf the story about Lund and how this place is pretty much an emergency pit stop.

"How do I know you're not pulling me around here lass?" He questioned, sitting down at the table nearby.

I gave him a dull look, with eyes half-lidded.

"Do you think I'll lie about that?" I answered, annoyed that he wouldn't believe me.

He raised his hands in defence.

"No...just...surprising as all."

He took his gloves off and draped them over the spit rail. I watched him as he rubbed his arms and hands, seeing that long scar he got from the dragon earlier.

"Does...it still hurt?" I asked, voice unusually softer than usual.

Bryn shook his head.

"The odd sting here and there. I'll manage. You tend to forget how deep it got me."

I nodded, rubbing my hands. Still looked painful enough. I looked up as his hair, which was tattered by the constant beating of the wind and the rain. I'll pulled my own rogue, wet strands behind my ears.

"Well, if you're tired, there's a bed over there if you want rest until morning. Plus it'd be a lot warmer." I told him, bobbing my head to my right.

He chuckled.

"The thoughts tempting. But I might watch, just in case. You've had a rough day. I think you should rest."

I shrugged.

"I'm content with being nearer to the fire. Armour will get dry quicker that way."

We must have spent quite a while standing there in silence. The storm did little to create even a small amount of conversation. At this point, it left me to think about a lot of things. I was alive, brimming with life, especially now hearing my quickened heartbeat in my ears.

There were many moments where I wanted to look at Bryn, but I'd forced my eyes to just sit on the fire and wait for us to dry. I did a similar instruction, as putting my own gloves on the spit rail. I also placed my Nightingale bow, my quiver, the Nightingale Blade and Chillrend on the desk nearby. If it'd make things easier.

Bryn did the same, putting all his things on the table behind him. I suppose this would be the perfect time on where it started to get awkward.

For what ever reason, we ended up standing side by side as we continued to allow ourselves to glimpse at the flames before us. Didn't know what Brynjolf was thinking, but I swallowed my own saliva as my own pulse liked to go faster, making me sweat slightly. My throat felt like it closed up. It was similar to encountering a dragon...plus the shivering a bit but not as badly. I could feel Bryn brush up against me with his arm, I then realised he was trying to take one of his boots off.

"Did...you want any help there?" I asked him, noticing his struggle.

"No...just...the damn things stuck!" He grunted as he slapped his hand on my shoulder for grip.

He gritted his teeth as I observed the comedic show before me and tried so hard not smile.

"Gah! Bloody boot is filled with water...Ugh...**BY SHOR!**"

I did feel my shoulder being yanked and my balance shot as Brynjolf stumbled and fell off, leaving me black for a few seconds after a mighty big thump.

I opened my eyes shortly after, finding myself on top of Bryn. Now, in previous cases we'd normally do this because I was having a hard time myself and those occasions I really did need someone to hold me for that moment.

But at this stage we were fine. Except for the part we he lifted his head and groaned and my head ended up nestled on his neck. So our faces were near each other. I bit my lip again, with a subtlety of course as Brynjolf lifted his head and in that moment we locked eyes with one another.

"Hi there..." He said with his voice low, but the vibrations reverberated off his chest, giving me a tingly feeling.

I gave a small, nervous smile.

"Hi..." I croaked.

My eyes darted between his own and trailed all over his face then finally towards his sweet...

I hadn't expected him to shuffle about and sit us both up like he did. We found ourselves sitting there, mostly relaxed. His legs were all mangled, but I offered to take the boot off for him. I saw his adams apple bounce a bit as he nodded towards me.

"Well, if you think you have a better chance of taking it off for me, be my guest."

I smirked as I put his foot in my lap and gave all my strength into pull it off for him. It was straining at first, as I pulling my tongue out as I stretched and pulled with what I had. I bounced his foot around in it first as I was shaking the boot. I gave it one last, mighty big pull and next thing I knew, it was my back on the floor, but holding the boot up as if it was some trophy of triumph.

I could hear Brynjolf chortle. I ended up throwing the thing in his face to shut him up. I then pressed my hands on the floor and forced myself back up.

"Well done lass. You never cease to impress me." He complimented, obviously mocking me.

I just stuck my tongue at him. Real mature Petra.

"Shut it Bryn. You want me to take the other one off too? Or would you like to continue fumbling and hoping around on one foot?"

That was even worser than the first one. I could have dragged Brynjolf around the house, and once contemplated in using my shout to get the damn thing off. There were filthy, covered in mud. Bryn had since placed his pair by the fire as well, nestled and folded on the stones. It was a huge, but funny battle...the most fierce I've ever faced.

Again, I ended up on the floor, but I was laughing about it, I just couldn't help myself. The joy ran in through my veins and was heartening. The warmth that flowed around was not just from the fire, but from the way Brynjolf and I had developed, we were at a point that we were not afraid to just mess around. I was free as well. I promised myself not to enact until I was cured and now that I am, it's harder than it looks to let, well, to tell Bryn that..

"Want my help in taking off yours then?" Brynjolf asked me. There was much fun and happiness in his voice, supported by his smile.

I chuckled, almost snorting.

"If you insist..." I spoke with a playful tone.

I gave him my feet as he started having the same trouble I did when I took off his. He grunted and groaned and complained that my feet must have been big. He was lucky I didn't end up kicking him in the chin. But, his grunts were rather, surprisingly, embarrassingly, and shockingly, arousing. He pulled the first one off fine, but when it came to finally getting the second one off, he ended up rolling backwards and hitting the wall on the other side of the room

I just hackled, it was the funniest thing to see, I swear. He was okay as far as I saw. He'd dropped the boot down. I shoved it aside and ended up crawling for some reason and sat next to him. The floor was cold but I didn't care.

I sat down next to him, letting out little snorts and spurts of laughter as I did. He was just regaining his breath. I patted his leg, thanking him for his 'hard work'

"That was fun..." I told him.

His head lazily rolled to lock eyes with me. That sharp pang hit me again, starting from my eyes and just enveloped me all over. That face of his...he was so tired.

I felt my cheeks heat up just staring at him. He then looked like he was going to try and same something, but the words couldn't come out of his lips. He sat up a bit more, shifting a bit. He must have been a bit uncomfortable.

He then took a deep breath. He was nervous, anxious about something. Hang on,

I think I knew what it was...because I often felt the same. Brynjolf...

This what had him so boiled up the previous times. Nightingale Hall, the Tavern at Winterhold.

I...didn't see. I was so blind by my own problems that I didn't notice that all the things he'd done for me. I've been selfish and needy the entire time but the man just keeps on giving no matter what. And I'd swore to myself that I would give back. All because what was currently just staring at me right now. And I'd been stupid not to get it beforehand.

But Bryn was sweating like I was. t was hard for him, I could tell as he just had no sense in what he was trying to tell. And I found that cute. After all this time, Mr. Confidence and Assurance, the one who could lie through his teeth about nonsense that about some bogus elixir..just...couldn't do it. I imagined he was tiptoeing because of what happened with Mercer. No, Mercer is dead and I am so ready to move on now. I may not forget it, but I can get on with my life now and deal with what really matters in life.

Poor red-headed lout.

"_Close your eyes..._" I whispered. I was going to take this on myself once and for all. All because I'd been so moronic all this time to not understand what he actually wanted.

He complied and did what he was told. I placed my hand on his cheek, feeling his beard between my fingers. I gave him a soft, supporting smile. The whole aura was so charged and rife with emotional perplexities, that all I wanted Brynjolf to do was to be fully confident again. He's not so much as taken a physical beating as more an emotional one. I can still see it in his eyes that he's hiding so much and now that he wasn't afraid to let it all out, only of his mouth and tongue could agree to what his mind and heart wanted to say so badly.

My face beamed. We in such a state of tranquility as he is still, but the tension between us was still pretty thick. I still had my hand feeling his face. I liked the touch of his beard, that furry feeling, like petting a dog. He enjoyed it as I noticed his face soften and he waged war with his eyelids. I'm glad he was finding it comforting. Thunder burst outside, but that was rivalling the way my heart was beating so loudly in my own head. My lips trembled. I wanted this badly, but I was fighting against nerve to do so.

It took me a few attempts, as I pushed my head closer to him.

"Petra..." I heard him mutter my name. He swallowed.

"What are you..."

I shut him up as I brushed my lips with his, a sensation that made him shudder slightly and filled me all around with a unique warmth. I certainly felt better about and I hoped he did to. So I began with some soft supple kisses, always a good starter. I could feel his own lips quiver beneath mine and I kept going until he finally responded in kind. We were slow to start, listening to the soft pops as we went on, and our heavy, cut short and juddered breaths through our noses. I pulled out with my mouth still open a bit, as I licked my lips. His remained gaped with shock as he slowly opened his eyes to look at me. The breathing got heavier from his side as he swallowed, his adams apple bouncing again. He was genuinely stunned lost for words.

I gave him a subtle smirk. He didn't mind it all as I went in to start again. A burning sensation just exploded with in my core, so I then picked up the pace as I shoved my hands into his tattered hair and yanked him closer to me, quickening the velocity of our locking. His beard brushed against my chin, and his nerves were making him quake. I fought with my tongue to delve into his mouth, feeling the wetness and curves and the subtle sweet taste of mead.

I'd caught him by surprise as he tried to catch up with me.

"_Mmmmm..._"

His sudden moaning sent pangs straight to my loin. I had to readjust myself for that. His hand snaked it's way up passed my face and his fingers then dug into my scalp. I went a different direction as I bit his lip, making him grunt in frustration. I started kissing his chin, then kissed my way down his neck. I found the original marks that Alva left him no doubt. They should be fine and healed, but I started suckling there anyway. He moaned again as he made slight pants. My hand wiggled it's way down his chest, then to his arm and to his lower arm. He looked at me with confusion, and a painful haze written his face as I turned to kissing the cut on his arm, licking it.

"_Lass...by Shor..._"

I stopped as he hissed through his teeth, thinking that I was hurting him. I gave him a sad look. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry...

"Sorry Bryn...just thought..."

He shook his head. His chest rose and fell quite heavily as he breathed just as much.

"No...no...you weren't hurting me. I enjoyed that. I did." He muttered.

I smiled. It was gratifying leaving him breathless like that. He then looked at me with pleading eyes, wanting more.

"What did you want to do now?" I asked him, grasping his hand.

And in response, he grasped back...but then he looked me dead in the eye, his facial expression turning serious.

"I...I want _you _lass." He told me outright, that it made my heart skip a bit, and a powerful surge of fire ran right through me, focusing around my core.

I looked at him with lustful eyes. This was promising. I wanted him as well. But I was the one going to let him choose for once.

"Ohh...I see...anything you want to do...to _me_?" I whispered, with the intention of letting him do what he wanted for once without me stuffing it up because I was too scared and in all honesty, I wanted to let him try. He had the largest blush on his face as he looked down. Fascinating how words could do that.

"I...want to touch you...but I'm afraid...that because what happened..."

I shook my head and stopped him from speaking any further as I grabbed his chin and gave him a quick peck. He still has that bloody idea in his head.

"Because of what happened with Mercer? Bryn, the guy is dead and deserves all the punishment he can get with his soul stuck in Oblivion. I trust you completely. And I wouldn't have this any other way."

This teddy bear was just giving me the biggest puppy dog eyes. You would never see this elsewhere, the strong, the smart and the witty, breaking down before me. He closed his eyes and kissed me back, with me feeling his smile as he did so.

"Alright then. But uhh...promise me you won't laugh? Because of word of this got out to the Guild, I'll be the laughing stock..."

I wasn't sure what he was on about but anyway. I kissed back again to reassure him.

"You can trust me definitely. The Guild doesn't have to know squat."

He became nervous again, refusing to look me in the eye, and his blush became more apparent to one of embarrassment than anything else.

"I've ah...aha...never been with a woman before." He said, sadly, his voice lower and quieter at the last few words.

I rose an eyebrow. Okay then. That's new.

"Seriously?"

Brynjolf lowered his head in shame. I shook my head and rolled my eyes. It was time to take care of that. I got up and gave Brynjolf my hand. He looked up to me with a puzzled expression and took my offer up. I think I made his knees weak after that.

Good.

I kept my grip on him.

"Alright, let's make you into a man then eh?"

Brynjolf turned away again, releasing me and crossing his arms. I'm pretty sure I just offended him.

"Hey! I already am a man! What makes you think that just because I haven't...you know, that I am not one?"

I giggled as I pressed on his arms and reached to kiss the cold tip of his nose.

"Okay then you're a man. A nord who doesn't like his pride being injured. Prove it to me Bryn. Prove it to me...right now."

Ah making him squirm was delightful. He was like a small child underneath all that muscle and fiery red hair. I still haven't given him half of what he's given me all this time. So I'm not done yet.

I grabbed his hand in a swift motion and dragged him towards the bed. I then took hold of his arms and pushed him on it, much to his dismay. The look on his face was priceless. I jumped on there with him and straddled my legs on both sides of his waist. I wondered if he had expectations of what was supposed to happen, but I wouldn't doubt that he'd give it his all.

I've seen him flirting for work purposes, so there wouldn't be any reason why he wouldn't know what to do. I let him work at his own pace and how he saw fit.

He was at least gentlemanly enough to help me take my armour off, including the pants, but at least we were acting quicker than the damn boots. I took his off as well, licking my lips I look up and down his well-toned abs and gorgeous pecks, as well as the tinier little scratches and war-wounds all over his body. I pulled out my hair from it's pony tail, letting my own rain-drown strands dangle all over my shoulders.

I caught him catching all the scars on my body that I've taken during my life. He looked at me as if to ask if he could touch them. That facial expression was easy to read. I nodded in approval. He started with moving his hands up my hips then to my waist. His hands, rough from constant battle and probable lock picking were evident, but I was pleased he knew how to actually use his hands. Thank Dibella...uh...thank Nocturnal? Thank both I guess? Mara? Maybe? Bah...thank all the Gods...and the others.

He used his finger to lightly scratch the scars on my stomach. I twitched on several of them, as they were still a bit sensitive. Each scar has their own story to tell. Brynjolf found the largest one underneath my left breast. I shivered as I remembered Mercer getting me the the first time, an instant recollection of unwarranted memories. Bryn stopped, noticing the horror on my face.

"Do you want to stop there?" He asked with worry.

I shook my head. I should be able to get over it. He nodded. He then trailed his hands down towards my legs and my underwear. He must have stared at them quite a bit, making me trying to think what he was up to. I had a few theories, but this was the one I had the most difficulty reading so far.

He then grabbed hold of my arms, to my surprise and turned us a around, leaving me lying on the bed in full front of him. I was liking this already. He spread my legs out, and started suckling on my thighs. I started panting as each time he did so sent of jolt of pleasure straight to my core. He worked his way up, passed my underwear and on the curves on my tiny frame, kissing from one side, then over my stomach, to the other. You wouldn't believe he hadn't done this before, but I guess he just wanted a taste first. I don't blame him.

Then it was the breasts. Yes, the mother of all mercy. He looked at me first for permission. How sweet of him. I grinned and nodded once more. I helped him out by lowering the straps and removing the bra altogether, He made a curious examination of them with a piqued interest. He then looked at me again and shifted himself and started kissing me.

His kisses were a lot more confident and energetic than they were a few moments ago. He kissed me harder as his hand went up my stomach and grasped one of my breasts carefully and squeezed them gently, while I had my hands wrapped around his hand, sifting through his hair as

I...didn't have the greatest of breasts myself. I'm a tiny girl, but Bryn found something appealing about them, as all men do. He liked to press his finger against the tip of my hardened nipple. He stopped kissing my lips and worked out on sucking them instead,.

"_Mmmmm..._" I moaned as I felt the wetness from his tongue slavering all around it. His groans of pleasure were entertaining to me, and the vibrations just continued to send pangs to my stomach and send my heart racing as well, but like Bryn before me, my knees lacked any strength from the stringent pains. He worked on them both, making sure neither of them were neglected. Felt so right, but my...well, real needs wanted attention.

And, judging from Bryn making slight movements with his pelvis, it wasn't hard to see what he wanted it as well.

I forced him to stop what he was doing and pulled his head back to mine. His facial expression became one of desperation, filled with the right mixtures of love and lust that was written all over his face. He hovered over me, his hands planted firmly on each side of me.

Going up and down that generous torso of his became a habit of mine. Don't mind me for going nuts about it. But I wanted it against me, rubbing on me...I bent my knee up as he lingered over.

"Lass, I...I need to know..." He asked me, basically trying to a grip on himself. I liked this side of him, so cautious, but it did get aggravating at times.

So for goodness sake Bryn, just do it already!

"Are...are you okay...with..."

I had to quit being impatient with him, as much as I hungered for him at this moment, I kept forgetting about how he would always be worried about me no matter what. But, I think he still thinks about what Mercer did to me. What other way can I convince him that Mercer is not on my mind at the moment and all I could think about was the man over me, his eyes and and his rugged face, his fluffy beard and his long, red hair. About his spirit and his kindness beneath the surface of what you may not see him normally. I had all of him and I wanted all of him. I need everything of him. Right now.

He checked my face for clues, but it wasn't enough to convince him. No words meant nothing to him. I had to say something.

I kept smiling as I wrapped my hands around his neck.

"Brynjolf, I've been okay with this for a long time. I just want you to just be you because that's the man I need...I've always needed..."

I rubbed his neck up and down, just giving him that physical reassurance. His face lit up like he's wanted me to say that for very long time. I almost feel guilty for making him wait this long. But there had been so many obstacles that needed to be jumped over and now we were on our way, no turning back. And for the first time in my life I knew that this type of adventure was what the both of us needed.

But for now, all we needed was each other. And this precise moment, I felt his confidence pour back into him..

He began to kiss me softly, like I had before. I seriously don't believe he's never done this. Or he has, but never got this far with anyone. The pain in my core was getting anxious and unsteady. I felt him suckling my neck as I started to breath heavier again. His finger caught the nip of my underwear, but instead of taking it off, his hand decided to delve inside and just for him, I was willing to let him explore.

I almost jumped as his fingers ruffled around down there, carefully navigating their way towards my clit. I bit my lip as he massaged it with his fingertips, causing me to moan.

"_Bryn_...oh _gods_..." I whispered, trying to catch my breath.

He made a dashing grin against my neck as he continued to suckle it. The breath from his nose hitched and his own moans gave me goosebumps as well.

He trailed downwards, finding where he really needed to be. I felt one go inside me and started to curl.

"_Ahh_..."

I had to catch my breath as he curled so slowly, so carefully that it was just agonisingly strong and burning me up from within. Each curl he made was met with a small thrust on my end. Oh dear Gods...Bryn, stop attending to my needs without attending to _yours._..

In his own preference, he continued. Shortly afterwards he stuck another one in and prodded about down there. I gritted my teeth and hissed, then a loud moan escaped from me.

"Doing something there for ya lass?" He joked, again his voice low and so..._mmmm_...but I could tell that he wanted this. He was just being too generous with me. I had to draw the line somewhere. I wanted to grab his member, but he wouldn't allow it. Damnit Brynjolf.

"Bryn...you..._ahh_...let me.._.please_..." I choked out between each prod and breath.

Bryn looked at me with evil eyes.

"Oh, I want you to have all the fun..." He told me.

I rolled my eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous! This is not going to be one-sided! _Ahhh._.._mmmm._..come on, let me!"

He chuckled. Oh you moron...

In my annoyance I pulled his loin cloth off and his member was revealed to me. It was hard and reddish, popping out of his red pubic hair. I'm gonna make him regret his words!

As skilled as I was with my work, I snatched his member with a quick grasp, forcing Brynjolf to groan as I tightened my grip. I thumbed the top of it again, as tiny bits trickled out. I licked my lips as as I felt my chest rising and falling. Bryn was forced to pull his fingers out to try and stop me, but I just swatted his hand.

"No...no. You're not getting away with that..." I called out to him with a devious grin.

He growled at me. I was getting on his nerves. Good.

"But...Petra..._ahhh..._"

I'd spat on my hand briefly, then grabbed it again and made slow, steady pumps on his organ, watching his face change constantly. It was a sight to see as it flushed underneath my touch. Much more entertaining as he stumbled with himself, unable to stop me. I felt wet...and ready by this point. He did his share and now he had to be prepared for the real game.

"I thought...you were..._ahh._...Gods...going to let me choose what...I _waaaanted_..._ugh_..." He scolded between each pull. The struggle amused me greatly between his pleasure and his selflessness. Come on, he's a thief, he can afford to make a steal. I then thumbed over his tip again, causing him to hiss. I put my mouth to his ear.

"I am...but you're not gonna let us share this at the same time...that's...pretty selfish of you."

I whispered with playful spite. Which I'm pretty sure drove me over the edge.

"Selfish? Who said anything...gaahhhh about being selfish? You're being selfish here!" He groaned to me. I wanted to laugh.

I leered at him.

"Give in then...go on...let me get the feel of you...within me..."

His entire face went red as he eyes went wide, as I stopped to take my underwear off. Not this again. He better not...

"Petra...I...I...uhh...don't know..."

I shook my head and grabbed hold of a batch of his red hair with my other hand and made sure it was tight as I forced his head closer, our noses barely touching.

"Bryn, listen to me. I _want_ you...no, I _need_ you...and I know, from what I've seen...you want _this_...you're scared of me relapsing. That won't happen, you know why? Because you're all I think about..."

I played with his member for a bit, with my index finger running up and down it, causing him to fluster and almost lose himself.

"And when you hold me, touch me, the void in my heart is filled. You're there from when I needed it most. And I feel guilty to having to rely on you a lot for my stupid problems. You've put up with too much to throw this away. I will only stop if you yourself want me to. If you want me to do so, then let me know now, because this may be the only chance we have..."

He looked at me and scrunched his eyes. I think I accidentally hit something. Oops. I rectified that giving him more reassured kisses. He responded in kind, but his was shaking. Nervous. He pulled back.

"I...I don't want to stop. No...but you're right, I'm sorry. I do want this. But it doesn't stop me from worrying about you lass."

I smiled warmly as my hand went from behind his head to his cheek again.

"Worry about me then if it makes you happy. You're forgetting that you're here with me now. I'm in your sight and I'm definitely not going anywhere."

My heart melted as his face changed yet again. It may take some time to fully convince him of those facts. I worry about him a lot as well, and he's just gotta be Brynjolf to make me happy and that I was fully content with. With that settled, the shots of pain continued to strike at my core as my face hardened with lust.

"Now, don't let this go to waste. I'm aching right now..." I told him outright.

He swallowed and nodded sternly.

"Alrighty then! I'm ready!"

That's better.

We kissed once more, but more harshly. I felt his member bash against my thighs as I raised my knees up beside as he lowered himself towards me. So wet, sloppy but he was giving it his all. He fobbled a bit, but I gasped as I felt him enter. Finally...

He started off with slow, short thrusts. Each one getting stronger as he built up his confidence again. I wrapped both my arms around his neck again. We both got sweatier by the moment, the heat in the room escalating with our combined energies. We began losing more breath than we could take in, each gasp turning into quick hurried puffs. The feeling of his member inside me felt more than just a simple bask in pleasure. Weirdly enough, it was a great release of ourselves with one another, raising ourselves to higher spiritual levels, without worrying too much in terms what was going on around us.

The thrusts got faster as we were bathed in the light of the candles and the fire place. The storm still ravaged on outside as thunder got louder. Lightning struck as I parted lips with him moaned out aloud into the heated air, folding my legs over Brynjolfs back as he pushed in harder.

"_Ahh_...Bryn...oh Gods..._ahh_..."

We were messy, _very_ messy and it was beautiful. Sorrows were disappearing and our hearts were just pumping to extremes in our heads. Brynjolf's face was so intently focused, drenched in sweat.

"Hah...hah..._Petra_..._haahhh_..."

Other sounds filled the room, the shuffling of the sheets beneath us, the slaps of our bodies clashing together, wet and filthy...we provided the air and noise of nothing but pure pleasure and agonising over our needs to just get there...together. And that's what made it wonderful, the detail of it, the muscles burning as they did their jobs well, the clashing of our lips to taste each other once more. No, I was no longer wanting blood, I just wanted Brynjolf...I wanted all of him, his mouth a wonderland for my tongue and the burn to seek it constantly made it entirely addicting.

Brynjolf was grunting in frustration, but I was getting closer to fruition, with Bryn filling the ever growing need for to get lost in the sensations. His member making the repeated motions, always desperate for me.

I dug my nails into his neck as it was becoming unbearable and the possibility to hold on much longer was decreasing. No...that's what we wanted. And Brynjolf, in his entirety, the thrusting, the constant tension pulling at us, his groaning, moaning and grunting all piled into me and was driving me insane. No doubt it was doing the same to him. His desperation forced him to try harder and faster yet again that I myself could barely keep up, my lungs clamouring for air, but his girth and speed of it was too much for me to handle as I barely had enough time to breath.

"Oh Petra..._Petra_..._please_..." He moaned to me. Like the stars were speak.

I was getting so close now. He leaned over me some more, his back arching, He gave me one long kiss, wild and intense, then buried his head into the pillow beside me. He was getting close as well. We both then started to thrash about in this whirlwind of desire. It continued to build and build.

"Oh...Brynjolf..._ahhhhhhh_"

I felt an explosion of great power from my core, filling my body with unbearable tinglyness that I continued to bubble out thrash from. I then felt Brynjolfs release within me shortly after his last series of high octane, speedy thrusts...resulting in a mighty roar escaping him as he gave the last one his all that was felt everywhere to me.

"Petra, _Petra_...please...I love you..._gahhhhhh..._"

We'd lost ourselves entirely to the most arousing ecstasy to that given moment, disgusting but perfect as we shared this blessed moment together. We pressed onto that hold and that final ultimate push as long as we could, filling ourselves with the broken hold on needs and screaming to the roof tops, praising the skies. My mind was in another world in entirely basked in a brilliant light, like we'd both visited Sovngarde for that tiny moment, and descended back slowly. We were shaking and we shone underneath the glistening candlelight as we basked in each others warmth, falling back down to Nirn from our orgasmic realms.

We'd never breathed so heavily before. Brynjolf was left grunting repeatedly, his arms left wobbly but his face was giving off the most superior glow. I was left bewildered and smiling widely, spilling myself out from the inside from the tinglyness. In my desperation to reclaim breath, I remember recalling his last words before we both disappeared into our delightful heavens.

He...he did love me back? Should have known. He was working so hard. But I had to figure out if it was true. I held his face with two hands, trying to make sure he knew what he was telling me and wasn't just speaking on behalf of his lust, but he just...was still recovering. I rubbed his side with my knee trying to get his attention back.

"Brynjolf? Nirn to Brynjolf are you still there?"

He still shook above me, trying to recompose himself and was probably left wondering what just happened. Poor thing.

"Bryynnnn..."

I myself had still needed time to catch my breath. I caught his attention eventually, as it was just pretty much left where we were before. I guess it takes longer to get back, especially with your first time.

"Oh...sorry...lass...it's...just..._wow._..I...just let me..."

I chuckled and gave another kiss. I felt his lips widen into a smile as it did. I parted first.

"It's okay...it's fine. You don't have to struggle against your own weight here. Just..I need to ask you something."

He looked at me, finally getting reclaiming his breath.

"Aye, what is it?"

I looked away for the moment then looked back.

"Did...do you...love me? Is...that what you said just before?" I wondered, asking the serious questions here.

His eyes widened, like he'd almost forgotten about it. His face was still red, but it just turn into a darker shade. I sensed something greater here.

"Aye...I did...know it might seem sudden, but I've been meaning to tell you for a while now...but don't let it get your head that I only said that because of this. I just, needed a time to say it."

I was amused and fascinated.

"Perfect timing in the middle of a climax. I guess that's a good a time as any..." I joked.

We both laughed. We were both on a level of happiness higher than expected.

"I don't mind if you don't love me back. The fact you gave me this opportunity is not just breathtaking, literally, but it just...I thought we reached to a new level of understanding."

That we did...that we did. I pulled some of his strands of hair behind his ear. But, it wasn't fair to leave Bryn on the brink like that. Still the noble rogue as always but he had a big heart as I could tell. I trailed my hands behind his neck again and bit my lip, then thought, why not?

"Oh Brynjolf believe me, that is not even half of it. I only let this happen because it's you and no other. No other makes me feel this way and I'm not ashamed to say that...I love you too."

I think a different type of release was in order here and not the type of one you find by just screwing with one another. But with the butterflies that constantly roamed in our stomachs by just thinking about one another, it's on a different pathway. The genuine completion of a self-discovering journey well spent with each other, had lead us to believing in ourselves and finding comfort and something more in each others arms. It took us forever, but I personally think it was worth it. And now we had said it, we were more...in strength in arms about it. Our hearts would constantly bleed for each other and the longing evolved into an instant and unbreakable connection that took us higher on the planes of happiness. We still had a long ways to go, but it was just another step.

And by responding to Brynjolf as such, I think we did just that.

"Truly?" He gasped, surprised.

I rolled my eyes.

"Of course...why else? I mean, you deserve every inch of my love. Beyond making it of course. "

We both snickered. I think the understanding part was because we can make jokes about it without fear for reprisal or backlash. As long as we kept it to ourselves. But his smile warmed my heart in many ways you cannot imagine. He kissed briefly before hugging one another with an utmost renewed founding in one another.

We were home.

* * *

Brynjolf then shifted off my me and fell beside me, noticeably weary after what we had accomplished. He wrapped arm around me as I laid on my side, my one free hand resting on Brynjolf warm, sweaty and slighty hair chest. I fiddled with the hairs myself as we snuggled. He got a blanket and covered us with it. But we were relaxed and just...ourselves. Bryn was back to his old self, and rather proud. He should be.

As we laid there, nestled with one another, I personally had the feeling that things were going to be alright from now on. I still had a journey to pull, but at least I no longer had the need to not care if I died after accomplishing the endgame the Gods made for me. I wanted to live on, for Bryn's sake and my own. I didn't want to leave Brynjolf all cold and alone. Now that would be selfish of me if I didn't adhere to that. But we could be casual. Fears aside...

You know what, I also had the belief that it was going to get even better for us both. I wasn't expecting anything perfect but you make do with what you have and make the best of it while it lasts. But our hearts were stronger together and we covered each others weaknesses very well. We would need, in the coming battles.

But, until then, we embraced one another, and ended up chatting about Gods' know what until we decided to finally fall asleep.

"Hey Bryn?" I spoke, breaking the silence.

"Mmm?" He replied.

I began making circles on his chest. Other topics darted on my mind in relation to what we had just done and discovered about each other. I also got funny images in my head about what we could do next.

"I think, now we've got ourselves sorted, that we should get Delvin and Vex together...what do you think?"

Brynjolf rose an eyebrow. Probably not what he was expecting at all.

"Are you mad? Vex would beat Delvin's head in if he so much as touches her."

I snorted. Yeah he was right, but why the heck not?

"Come on...Vex needs a man...yes she can definitely handle herself quite well, I am not doubting her abilities..."

Brynjolf gave me this one expression as if asking if I was serious.

"So you're saying Vex needs to get laid?"

I nodded, grinning, then burst into laughter.

"Yeah! Everyone knows Delvin has the hots for her! I just think she needs to give him a chance."

The rogue just shook his head.

"Petra, how are we going to do this anyway? Don't we have bigger fish to fry?"

I shrugged. I failed to care.

"We'll manage. I think...I know a guy in Markarth who writes brilliant poetry. We could pay him to write one for Vex, saying it's from Delvin."

He just face palmed.

"Vex only cares for Gold. I don't think poetry is her thing. Besides, I think Delvin has made many attempts to woo her to no avail. It's not our business anyway!"

I crossed my arms and laid on my back.

"Gah...you're no fun..."

Brynjolf couldn't help but smile. He rolled me back on his chest and kissed me.

"I'm only fun with you lass..."

I started giggling as he tickled me.

Thankfully I tickled back.


	41. The Game

**AN: Glad you guys liked the last chapter and yes, I am a big Vex/Delvin Shipper myself! Their banters are hilarious. So, here have the continuation of this story as its far from over yet. I have a few plans for the story...big plans. Enjoy!**

**C41**

**The Game**

I almost couldn't believe it.

The way she kissed me that first time. The glint in her pretty light blues and the softness of her lips. I had to do a quick take to much sure I wasn't dreaming. That face of hers just lit up up around me. The lass had no fear of showing me, much to my surprise, the way my heart just...nearly exploded with the smooth brushes on me. Unbelievable, I was, shocked but I needed it so bad and I'd wanted it for so long.

I was the true coward there, too scared. But she made so many reasons for me to just let me...to return the comforts I gave her. I didn't think I even deserved it. But what she did, erased all doubt.

She took me in...literally. Uh...yeah...The way she ran the show like that. We connected perfectly and more. The touch of her skin, the taste of mouth. Just...perfect. We went on levels and surpassed the highest ones. We loved one another and I was made a into a new man because of it.

Our hearts bled for one another, I think. My own almost jumped out of my chest otherwise. I...liked her touching me, you know. That way I knew she was still there with me. I guess I am grateful for that at least. As soon as she made the suggestion I was back into that state of disbelief again.

She was forceful, but in a good way.

As soon as I touched a sore spot, her face changed. I flashed back to Irkngthand and the way that Mercer stabbed her, her face still stern and angry but riddled with blood. It was still fresh and that every time she said she'd be fine it just came rolling back again. I didn't want to hurt her. I never wanted to.

But she refused to place fault. It was no ones fault but Mercers. But Petra, strong and true, had no hesitation within her. She knew what she was doing and I had to take confidence in that. But you know I had to worry. For her sake.

Yeah it was also my first time. And it was totally worth it. I'd made love to the most beautiful woman in Skyrim. Nocturnal really does favour us after all. Sorry, little joke there. I would always want more. I could go on but...I. Everything about it just fitted so well, so right and we balanced ourselves well enough to see each other in the heavens we claimed for our own. She brought me there willingly, with each sketch of the surface I found on her own body told their own story. A story only I was allowed to read and left wondering how each of them got there.

But she was right, she was there and now, in front of me, safe and warm in our embrace. No one could hurt her. I protected her. Always. I unleashed myself, so to speak, as we..uhh, made our rendezvous. And we both enjoyed what we gave one another. It was, special. Better than what you'd read in those trashy books anyway. I wasn't ignorant, just...unexperienced. I'd already been given the talk by my father long ago. Just never had the chance to enact.

I had too much to thank Petra for, but she was insistent that she owed me a lot. No. Never. I would have never done anything if I expected something in return. I was better than that. This girl was just a soul needed to be rescued, when it turned out mine was rescued instead. Ironic.

I failed with saving my own mother, and all I could do was ensure nothing like that ever happened again. She was like my mother you know. Except less mental, but even then I wondered. But Petra was much stronger and she helped me succeed where I failed. And I was happy with that, as I learned from my mistakes...with mother...with Mercer.

So many things had gone wrong and I just wanted to be right with Petra so badly. And as I held her in my arms that morning, the worst had passed. We had a long road to go, but it was much clearer with tension gnawing at our heads, wondering what the other would do if the time came. But we no longer held worry over what we felt about one another. We can prove that now.

* * *

I looked at her peaceful face. Relaxed over me with the cutest smile on her. I kissed her on the forehead, when I heard her sigh contently and stretched her arms out and yawned, opening her eyes.

"Morning." She muttered

I grinned.

"Morning lass." I replied.

She reached over to kiss me, slowly, and surely. Shor, I just liked kissing her. And I wanted kiss all over her cute little petite body.

"Sleep well?" She asked me.

I nodded.

"Aye, thanks to you."

Red just sweltered all over her face. She had these interesting eyes when she did that. Reminds me of kittens. Kittens, not Khajiit. Real cats. I couldn't help but pat her.

* * *

While we could lay there all day entangled in each other, we had other things to do. Our armour, well, our pants and and main body armour were a mess on the floor. We quickly got dressed, grabbed our gear and went out, as well as Petra putting her hair back up into a ponytail. The sky was much clearer but the ground was still boggy from the rain. No matter. At least we could see. We got on our horses, and finally made our way to Ivarstead, the bottom of the great journey. The day could never be better. Except for the odd wolf that came by that Petra had fun shooting arrows at. But the world just...felt better. Strangely. I could be poetic about it, but that would take me all day. I had a refreshed perspective on things. As we trotted horses alongside each other, thoughts of last night kept coming back to me and it wasn't until Petra threw something at me, that I realised I had a goofy look on my face.

"Hey! I said...look up there boggle-head. That's where we need to go!"

She pointed towards the Throat of the World. From where we were, out in the tundras of Whiterun Hold, the mountain just looked so intimidating. I've heard so many stories, so many tales of what the so called 'Greybeards'. All just some nonsense I brushed off. But you know that day I heard something akin to thunder, but sounded like the sky was shouting. Couldn't understand it them, but now it just makes more sense.

"Gonna be one heck of a trip up there lass. You're still sure about this?" I queried, ensuring she was still ready for the tasks ahead of her.

But she just gave a positively, radiant smile.

"I'm sure as I can be Bryn, just want to know what it means to be Dragonborn, you know?"

To mean something to the world is a rarity in itself. Many would call out on the heroes of old. Tiber Septim, the Nerevarine, the Hero of Kvatch...those written down in history as something the Gods created themselves and in Septims case, became a God.

Before my father and my mother met, my father was once a Priest of Talos. On came the White-Gold Concordat, he became a recluse. He then met my mother and that was that. Thats when he started to focus on Dwemer ruins and it then became a new obsession. Though mother had a lot of problems in her life. Father thought it was because they had abandoned Talos that we were being cursed. I tell you I'm not religious because I absolutely hate it. I lost my faith as my father succumbed to darkness in his own heart after my mother died. He wanted me to pick up my blade or at least became a hard enough lad to breach the treaty itself, and made me pick my prayers to the God of Man. He made me practice a lot and I couldn't stand it.

Don't know where my old man is and I don't care. I think mother was the only good thing in his life and when she passed away he didn't see me as a son anymore, but more as a tool for vengeance. He stated as a priest, that I should stay away from the temptation of women. You know my sheer hatred compelled me to run away and disobey, but I couldn't do that to him. Joining the Guild was the best thing that ever happened to me and anyone who asked me about my past I just made up my own stories. They didn't really need to know. I kept the dwarven sword as reminder of who my father once was.

My mothers illness. She was a strange one, even when I was a boy. She kept seeing things that weren't there, or said things that weren't true until they happened in the nearby future. She was eventually correct in her accusations of people. But it was always too late.

Maybe my father blamed me, said she was like this after I was born. I think, my mother became what she was because she saw something she wasn't supposed to see. I do know that, when they went out to go on some expedition to a Dwarven Ruin, that neither of them came back the same. I didn't think much of it but now I was interested somewhat. But the lass needed my help more...this sort of adventure thing just sparked my memory of it.

"I know what you mean..." I asked, feeling the need to feel a humorous atmosphere.

She looked at me, puzzled.

"You do?"

I tried my best to look serious.

"Aye, you are born to be a dragon in bed..."

The look of the anger in her face was just...funny. She screeched me but her face went so red...

"Brynjolf! You...gaahhh!"

I laughed as she tried chasing me, intent with hitting me with her arrows. I charged Lucky forward as fast as we could. I didn't mean she wanted to hit me with one, but rather force me to stop so she could punch me in the stomach.

* * *

The chase got us to Ivarstead quicker than expected, dashing across the paths passed Whiterun, and around up the mountain side. Steeper than I remembered. But we managed to get there by sun down.

I watched as Petra looked up high on the mountain itself. I could tell she was nervous. She'll be fine, just needs a little, pick me up as all. We put left our horses outside of town and looked at our options as we entered the nearby inn.

The locals, were not exactly...welcoming. Some of them just told us to leave, without so much as a hello to welcome us to their town. We took a seat, drinking some mead on the side. We planned to hang around, but as it was sunset (already) and both of us were kind of tired from our trip, we stayed the night and hired a room for ourselves and planned to head off there tomorrow morning.

According to one of the locals here, the steps can take their toll and if the trip doesn't tire you out, the creatures up there might.

"I think most people who come here are the ones who usually take the trip up the 7,000 steps." Petra told me.

I nodded. The wealth of knowledge I had came pouring back, and I tried hard to suppress it.

"Must be quite the trip. I just don't see what's so spiritually appealing about it though." I told her.

She just chuckled.

"Are you not a nord?" She joked.

I sighed.

"That's not what I meant...I mean, don't the Greybeards only take in the worthy or something?"

She nudged me and smirked.

"It's a form of enlightenment for the pilgrims. Some meditate on the plaques as part of the journeys."

This reminded me too much of my father. I...am partly glad I knew, as per tradition. Mostly. Father would tell me a lot about the Greybeards and their apparent Way of the Voice. He even contemplated at one point, before throwing his mercy with his dwemer crap, going up to High Hrothgar and become one of their acolytes and to study the ways for himself. That's what he told me anyway. I always felt like I was responsible for everything that went wrong in his life.

I don't know, but my Mother once told me, in one of her sane phases, that things happen for a reason and that sooner or later, I'd have to accept that. I didn't want to. I was angry. And looking at Petra and all the horrible circumstances she'd been through, I felt I needed to rage against the Gods for making her go through it all.

She looked pretty happy now, but what's to say thats going to change in the next day or two? She's pretty excited regarding following the path of Dragonborn. I aim to make her as happy as I can and I refuse to give up on that. That was one of old tenets that I'll stick by as much as I possibly can. I made that promise to her, that, as cold as the snow may be, as hot as the fire may burn, that I will prevail through. What ever that tripe meant.

Mother meant well, but she was often all about nonsense of course. But I loved her all the same, despite her hardships. When she died, it got me. Father mentioned she passed away in her sleep, but I knew better...either her illness she passed for, or Father had enough of her incessant rambling and killed her himself.

I wasn't sure what to believe, but...I couldn't stand to be with him after that. I was in Riften with him once, speaking with one of the Priests there. He'd hoped I'd stick around to learn a lot. This was getting harder to withstand, as I wandered around the city, and bumped into a grumpy man by the name of Mercer, as he was trying to pickpocket some Dark Elf Woman. For what ever reason, while he was, not entirely happy that I happened to bump into him, I questioned, myself naïve at the time, what he was doing. He claimed to be doing a service for his group and needed to get a necklace for a client. He stated, you want to make some coin? Help me out.

I didn't care what father would think. I found it exhilarating. Mercer told me to be careful in my tracks and make sure that I didn't get caught. And for Gods sake, don't let anyone see me. I gave it a try. Breaking the law was, I guess, a part of rebellion on my end. I followed the dunmer around for a few hours, getting impatient, but, part of my mothers words told me not to give up at all. And it worked in the end, getting my first steal. And the way my blood rushed through my head as I snuck around Riften, the thrill of the risk of getting caught. Amazing. So there, my first taste of thieving.

Mercer invited me to the Guild, seeing my potential as a thief. He gave me the same speech he gave to Petra when she first came to meet him in the cistern that fateful day. How history stands with Karliah in charge now is anyones guess. Maybe make some new traditions.

But either way, as Petra and I relaxed and ate and drank, she got up and spoke with the female bard and requested an upbeat song, something that the bards never sing or if she had anything special to play that was worth dancing to. The bard was hesitant, but Petra, ever sneaky, slipped a few coins into her cleavage of all places, making the bard blush. Definitely a turn on, I'll tell you. The bard pulled out her lute, and strummed the strings with a unique playing style.

She came back to me with the biggest, most devious expression and pulled me up to my feet as the song came on. We pressed out chest together. Oh no...lass...don't make me dance please.

I_ hated_ dancing.

I grumbled and forced a smile as she took me and just moved her legs and arms in ways, well, I suppose it was something that I could join into.

Next thing you knew, the whole damned tavern joined in. Petra just had this huge burst of energy from within her, unexpectedly. You wouldn't have imagined her doing this a few months back. She usually hates people.

But she just wanted to enjoy life as it would be and it warmed me to see her that way. I really didn't want to dance, but I did anyway. It brought a smile to lasses face. It brought the laughter back from last night, the way we had fun together. And Shor forgive me just getting a little...uhhh you know, encouraged by it.

* * *

After that little joyous evening we had with pretty much a bulk of the townsfolk, we were drained. Petra and I went to bed, though I think she was just a bit frisky as I laid down on my side and she came up from behind me, with dragging her hand down my pants and just ended up grabbing me.

I had to bite my tongue, then turn my head to her.

"Lass, what is _with_ you?" I asked, obviously it would be nice but she's just on edge.

"Oh come on Bryn, let me work my magic..." She giggled.

I rolled my eyes.

"You know you're just gonna end up making a mess." I told her. She just choked from laughter. She was really in the mood still, even after what we did last night. I would be a fool to ignore it.

"Just think it as one of my...massages."

I smirked and lick my lips as she achingly stroked up and down at agonisingly slow pace, a pain striking down me like lighting.

"Yes...lass...how much for this one?"

She ended up hitting me on the head with her spare hand.

"I never charge my favourite customer...but I will punish you for bad behaviour if you're not...careful..."

I just had this devious thought in my mind...but her strokes...I subconsciously made shifting thrusts in her hand, ever so slight that I felt something sprinkle out of my tip.

"Punish me for being bad? Oh, lass...you don't know it...I'm _all_ bad..."

She made a silent giggle and bit her lip. Just...so..._hot_...

But she was doing everything for me and nothing for herself. I was going to charge her for just touching me. I took her wrist and threw it off me, to her surprise. In just a few swift, hurried and eager motions, we'd thrown off our armour. I pushed myself up as she sat on me, and forcing her lips on mine as we were both hungry for the others tongues.

We'd shifted the few pillows behind me to make a tad more comfortable as I had my back leaning against the bed head and back wall. We had to be careful. The door may have been closed, and the wooden walls thick, but I feared alarming everyone else. But the sneakiness...like the first time I did a job for a Mercer, was thrilling and just filled me with the same eagerness Petra had. We made it our own little game to get through this as silently as we possibly could.

Nocturnal, guide us...the speciality of her taking her hair out...the hunt was on.

I wrapped my arms around her as her legs went behind my back to gain balance. I watched her briefly as she...fell onto me, feeling her clasp and the moist friction as I entered her. By Talos...

We made it that every time the other was about to moan, that we made sure we moaned into each others mouths. Didn't stop the cut off noises from the breathing from our noses though.

"_Brynmmmmm._.." She cried, luckily making it towards me, the vibrations from her throat were filling me greatly.

Again we started off slow as she moved up and down me. Again with the agonisingly soft, slippery and just...too..._Oh Gods_...Petra...so..._wet_...she was planning this no doubt.

We lathered each others kissed as our tongues fought one another, the kisses themselves hard and forced. Her hands snaked around my chest for the moment as the strains from my thrusts and her bopping up and down. Each time any of her finger touch my chest I twitched and shots of pleasure through down to my tip. Careful..._Careful._..

_Hnnnggg_..._Petra_...

I snatched her body and forced my face between her breasts and just felt them as I moved my heaad about. I think she caught her self trying to laugh and ended up biting her lip instead. My beard must have been tickling her. I was winning this battle so far.

She let out a snort, to which I gave her wicked smile before slapping my mouth on hers agains, hot with our desire for one another.

I surprised her by giving her a mighty big thrust, forcing her to jump and almost squeal, but she caught herself in time and bit her lip. She hated it...I loved it. I loved every moment she got irritated. What ever she originally had planned was now ruined and I was in the one in control now.

"Oh...Bryn...you...you...read headed _bastardddd_..._hngg_..." She whispered haggardly.

I helped her as I kissed her again, a very blaring moan entering my mouth. I felt her grip tighten around me, my...self aching for release. But from where I was, I could see everything of her. Her perfect face, her eyes of cascade, her hair of near-bronze that danced around in the sparkle of the candlelight, that little nose of hers...that...slick neck of hers that begged me to slather my tongue all around it, her cute collarbones...her effectively structured breasts, her decorated stomach, that...little part of her, red and swollen as it clamped on me, allowing me to go inside of her and that little patch of hair.

I watched her muscles move around with each time she utilised her body as it went up and down. My own fingers went down her back, touching the curves of her sweet, supple ass.

She popped, sort of as I dug my hands into them, feeling the strength. There is sufficient muscle down there you know. She grabbed hold of the rails of the bed head behind me as she slowed down to a halt, much to my dismay. I was more aroused than fearful as to what she was about to do.

She then started pulling herself against me again, but the pace eventually quickened to a point where I couldn't stand it it myself. What trickery was...this..._hngggg_...

She pressed her mouth against mine this time as I grunted, enveloping her body with my vocalisation.

Oh that was _it_.

I pushed her off me and placed her back on the bed on her back and looked at her with the piercing eyes. She was surprised, but that smirk on her face quite enjoyed what I just did then. I pressed my hand beside her and grabbed her leg, stretching it up as I wanted more access to her.

"This...this what you want...you...little devil..._gahhh_.." I muttered with playful anger.

She got up, her hands heading back to where they were and put her lips to my ear.

"Take...take me against the wall...do it Bryn..._do it._.." She whispered to me.

I gave another little smirk as I sat back, practically on fire with this irreplaceable lust. I grabbed hold of her as it got off the bed. She jumped on me and caught her, with her folding her legs into my back. We took in each others tongues again I walked and pressed her back up against the wall.

I just realised in our frenzied haste that Petra did this deliberately as a challenge. Not to make noise...

Damn it..

I made steady thrusts, sliding her up and down. Some times she lost her own grip to the weakness of it, her fingers fumbling around my neck excessively. I felt her clutch tighten, so she must have been close.

I too, felt the tension rising to it's peak. I wanted this so badly I thrust harder and faster into her. We kissed again to..._ughhhhh._...gaahhaaaa...

Like before, our sweaty, strained and torn bodies slathered, stretched and scrunched as I kept pusihing her against the wall repeatedly. And we both loved every minute of it. My thrusts quickened. I was so...desperate and eager to let it all go. Come on Brynjolf, go...

Our mouths refused to part as our groans just got too hard to contain. Ahh...Petra...

"_Brynmmmmm..._"

With the one last...thrust I held there yet again I felt the sweet and bitter taste of release, letting the last shout of hot air into one another, our entire selves shaking as our bodies were filled with the inevidble fount of pleasure and pain as I came into her. Her body thrashed about, as she made the final clasp around me, digging her fingers into me so hard but I couldn't feel it amongst the flood destroying all of my nerves. We finished with each others mouth, but tried to make the panting to it's absolute minimum...as much as we could, to stare into each others faces, hers glowing with its utmost shines, eyes glistening and mouth gasping for air as I was left throbbing. I pressed my head against the wall, trying to make sense of myself again, the need for air overwhelming me. We looked at one another and smiled again.

I wondered if we succeeded in our little game. I picked her up, despite my nerves being shot and dropped her on the bed. I hopped back into bed with her and embraced one another.

* * *

"Hey...Bryn?" She whispered, so out of breath. I looked at her, and pulled her hair behind her ears.

"_mmmm_?" I replied, feeling the afterthought haze. She definitely had that luminescence to her. By Shor, that's the first time I've ever had to use that word.

"Do you think anyone...anyone _heard_ us?"

I chuckled.

"Don't know...let's see if they say anything in the morning?" I suggested.

She just giggled and grinned, then bit her lip.

"Alright. Let's just say...if they heard you, I win...and if they heard me...you win...deal?"

Ah Petra, this side of you will never bore me.

"What's the prize then lass?" I asked seductively.

She licked her lips and looked away in thought.

"Hm...ahah...I win, you have to...help me get Vex and Delvin together."

Oh Shor, not this crap again. I didn't know what the appeal was in paring those two together and I certainly wasn't getting involved.

"We'll throw a party in the Flagon one day. There's this game we played back in Cyrodiil, the Imperial boys taught me. It's fun as believe me."

Imperial boys. That's probably the worst part. I sighed and listened in.

"Alright, tell me about this game."

She started to giggle before she even started. Seriously?

"Sorry, well, basically you all stand in a circle, obviously when and after you've been drinking. Or else you won't be stupid enough to try it. Anyway, one person stands away from the circle while the circle decides where a certain item will be hiding. Simple right?"

No...I didn't expect it to be. She snickered.

"Right, so you get this item. Can be...jewellery, coin...a feather? What ever's small and pretty easy to hide. So...the group agrees for the chosen, who's called, thief! Of course. Now,...heh...the thief, him, or her has to tuck the item underneath their clothes. Can be anywhere, in your pants, shirt...bra, underwear. So...the person who has stood away becomes the City Guard and has to determine who the Thief is. The City Guard has permission to do a full body search, but only to three suspects. If he fails, then the real culprit has to stand up."

My eyes widened. Was this what the Imperials got up to in their spare time? It had more bizarre implications. But definitely not something a Nord would do at all.

"Yeah sounds fun...aye...but you try this with the Guild...you're gonna end up having arms, hands and Gods know what chopped off." I warned her. Such a stupid game.

She just shook her head.

"Well, you have to have willing participation, which is why you need to drink a bit to get into it. Obviously if you feel far to uncomfortable with it you just let the person know. Sometimes some got too far, but you can intervene if you can see the other person is unsure. Unlike Nords who prefer you get over it."

I blinked.

"I don't think any true Nord would be willing to try. I mean, touching someone up is bound to have issues."

Petra rolled her eyes.

"It's all in good fun. And for a good laugh. All we have to do, is get Vex and Delvin to play."

I face palmed.

"That is not going to work...I really doubt you'll get them to even consider. Delvin maybe, but..."

She smirked.

"We'll manage. I think we just need to make sure we're all comfortable with one another. If they were really adverse to it, they'd say it outright. But, I bet fifty septims that she'll ponder it and say no, then want to get into the action."

Petra...have you had one too many meads tonight? Is that what this is lass?

"How do you even know?" I questioned her logic.

She tapped her nose.

"You'll see."

I rolled my eyes and laid my head on my pillow and pulled the sheets up over us. I then remembered the deal between us.

"Alright, then I'll consider that. So...if I win...hmm..."

I tried to think what would be a good prize if I won this. It was hard to pick. I was tempted for a wake up morning screw, but that wouldn't have been reasonable enough for a prize like this.

Think Brynjolf, think...I'd wondered if pickpocketing Maven Black-Briar was a good idea. Hah...just kidding.

I turned to her with a smirk.

"I dare you...to make out with Vex." I joked...image in my mind was brilliant. Instead I got punched in the shoulder.

"Brynjolf! That's deplorable...and super low of you." She scolded me.

I shrugged to my defence. "It's no worse than that stupid game of yours."

I saw her eyes roll back into her head.

"I was joking...but you can if you want to...and survive your head getting cut off."

I got punched again. I deserved that.

"Come on...decide!" She hurried me. Quiet lass! Let me think.

I did have something in mind. Definitely something she'd be able to handle.

"Alright lass. So, you've proven yourself a Master Thief many times over. But...if you have the courage, can you...steal the club of a giant?"

She rose an eyebrow.

"What? That's...what?"

I chuckled.

"Yeah. You gotta do it lass. And then, you have to drag the club away from the camp and try selling it to a Khajiit Caravan. It'd be a worth a fortune!"

She looked at me apathetically.

"And here you were, worrying about me and suddenly you want me to get killed by a giant?"

I brought her head in close as I kissed her.

"I'll supervise. Keep an eye on you. You a powerful Archer so you can start firing away just in case he ends up getting to close."

I rubbed up and down her arms, then down the curved side of her body.

"Use your swift abilities of a Nightingale lass. There's no way that you'll fail."

She grumbled. Ahh annoyed Petra is a funny Petra. Cute too.

"Fine...have it your way...but what if we have a tie?"

I had to think about that too. Even if she started it.

"Well, let's say we both succeeded. We don't have to do anything we don't want to. We'll leave things as is and be on our merry way. And we both failed, then obviously we both have to do it."

She looked at me and smiled.

"Deal."

Darker clouds were looming over head. But Petra was right...who's to say that we couldn't have some fun along the way? I warmed to the idea eventually, although Petra's game of Thief might just get a tad personal for some, even she so desperately wanted Vex and Delvin together. Most people would leave well enough alone. But Petra wasn't most people.

As far as we stood, the road seemed long and uncertain and we seized what ever happy moments we could find. Whether it was with each other or other people. Petra dancing with other people was something I'd never expect. She either likes most people now or was just pretending to make me happy. I'm inclined to agree with the latter, but it could be legitimate as well.

* * *

I was outside looking up at the night sky as the auroras paraded across in the midst of their bejewelled beauty. Not unusual. It was a sight to see indeed. I was with Petra at the top of some mountain as she was clad in some weird, heavy armour. We ran around in the dark, dank depths of a ancient nordic crypt, shanking Draugr before heading into some cavern we'd never seen before. On a request that I can hardly remember taking, but it involved with us taking some kind of magical construct down.

Not unusual if we held the need to explore. Found jewels and other things as we killed a few more Draugr before ending up in the main chamber. They usually had the most important people here, sealed in their crypt, awaiting for it to pop out once we got near. Petra had her bow reading and I had my sword ready. She went closer at a steady pace. I watched her and looked around.

I looked up top as I saw a pot of fire from the roof.

"Petra!" I yelled and ran towards her. I felt pushed back as I hit some sort of invisible barrier. I looked down to see the orange oil covering the whole cavern. I was stuck and protected by the barrier itself. Everything became a blur as something popped out of the coffin. The pot fell and broke onto the oil, sending the entire room in a type of horrifying hellfire. I heard laughter echo around me as Petra tried to escape, but her...her body...turned into a black ash and soon dissipated.

"PETRA!" I cried out...no...Petra! Come back!

I saw a dark ghostly figure approach me. It had no shape or any form, other than deathly silver glowing eyes that just stared at me.

"Awaken..." It whispered to me.

"Awaken the spirit!"

The barrier around me fell, as the fires surrounded me. I screamed as I burned up. No...no.

**PETRA!**

* * *

I shot up in a cold sweat and out of breath. I pressed my hand on my chest, still naked and unburnt. My eyes needed to adjust for the darkness. The air was colder than what I could recall.

I looked down as Petra laid beside me, asleep with her face full of content.

I ran my hand through my hair after willing my heartbeat down.

It was just a bad dream.

I laid back, with my hand still on my chest and caressed Petra, to make sure she was still there with me. Her little face. The way she had changed so much since I met her and it was...indescribable. I let her have this. This was her time and she could do what she wanted. But she was compelled to follow the path set for her. I still believe she can still do it. She just needed time and more encounters with dragons to help her to find the courage within her own heart. Unlike me. I could imagine her having sweet dreams, judging from the slight smile on her face.

Nightmares once in a while were normal but this one just seemed...familiar. Like...it was sending me a message or something. There wasn't any real reason for me to think it was real...but black demons words disturbed me greatly.

I shouldn't let it worry me. I'm stronger than that.

Thank you Petra...I needed you more than I realised.


	42. High Hrothgar

**AN: Incoming comedic chapter...**

**Chapter 42**

**High Hrothgar**

What a nice night.

I woke up feeling refreshed and gleaming. I felt Bryn's arm draped over me, holding me close. I smiled and gave him a light peck on the lips. He shuffled a bit, bringing me closer. I cleared the hair off his face. He let off a huge sigh, air escaping his nostrils. I just, looked at him while he slept. He had a minor scowl, but otherwise looked peaceful. I rubbed my face on his, drawing circles on his cheeks, and his forehead with my nose, feeling his beard. He shifted again as he blindly tried to find my mouth, his face softening. I grinned as I guided myself to his lips again. I could feel his tongue on my own lips as we gave into one long kiss.

We parted slowly, with Brynjolf batting his eyes lids, and forced himself awake.

I put my own arm around him and drew on his back with my fingertips.

"Sleep well?" I asked him.

He chuckled softly.

"I always sleep well with you."

Temptation, temptation, temptation, but alas, we must resist...

We kissed again before getting out of bed and got ourselves dressed as I put my hair into, a somewhat clean ponytail again. After we got ourselves organized, I caught Bryn about to hold the handle on the door. I wanted to remind him.

"Ahh...Brynjolf...remember our little deal?" I told him with such deviousness as I gathered my weapons from the drawers nearby.

He rolled his eyes and huffed at me.

"I won't"

* * *

As we wandered past the bar bench, we checked out surroundings. No one really around, except the Innkeeper brushing the floor. I was a little disappointed, I was trying hard enough to get him to make noise.

We headed outside. I think Brynjolf was more relieved than I was. It was a damn shame. Maybe I would have to try again. But the skies were clear and the sun bearing down on us with it's holy warmth. We walked down the path towards the bridge to the bottom of the mountain. We encountered a man named Klimmek, who was pretty much complaining about making a trip up to the mountain. He was gonna bring food up to the Greybeards but was shattered that he couldn't.

Next thing you know, the both of us were hiking up the mountain ourselves. Brynjolf complained he smelled like fresh meat. I told him to shut up and get over it. Maybe we could get ourselves good with the delivery like that. You know, first impressions as all. We came across a few pilgrims sitting at etched plaques, meditating. We failed to see any once we came up from fresh tundra, to the first patches of snow. The air got cooler, notably and none of the plaques up here had anyone basking in their apparent glory.

But I soon felt what Klimmek was winging about. The constant climbs. I bared it like I a Nord should. The wintry conditions soon made it rather treacherous as a few times I caught myself slipping, but mostly out of Brynjolfs eyes, though I did yelp, forcing him to look back and keep an eye on me. Just keep walking...nothing to see here.

I took down a few wolves along the way, obviously hungry. Ice Wraiths too, no problem.

I understand how Brynjolf didn't seem to take it all the air and essence and the symbolism that the long walks. I'd say it belonged on the lines of, lifting our spirits higher or, reaching a new sense of accomplishment. I already was nearly on top of the world, not exactly, but when you stop and stare at the view before you, it was amazing. No, I wasn't talking about Brynjolf.

Seriously though, you could see nearly Skyrim in its near entirety. There was a slight haze but from here you can see Dragonsreach in Whiterun, Windhelm...my lungs were overflowing with excitement. The wind was brisk as we continued our climb, to the next part of my journey.

Brynjolf brought out his blade as we heard a Frost Troll nearby. I whipped out my bow and started firing at it, distracting it so Bryn could take it down. I keep forgetting how much of a combatant he was, but as a Thief, you often prefer to get away from the fighting.

Besides the freezing draught, the lack of noise was booming, ironically. We were gone from the civilization of man and animal and were in a zone for ourselves. It fascinated me how isolated we were, and from the depths of my spirit I was free from the troubles below. Like I was whisked away to the clouds, shielded from the pain and misery of the world.

It was pleasant and forthcoming but I knew this was just the definite eye in the storm, that hardly got caught up in the messiest of matters, only the tame and willing would ever dare venture up the path. From what my parents told me, visiting the Greybeards was a great honour and that should I visit there one day, that I should write back to my father and tell him the beauty and strength of within it's walls. It's like, they somehow knew what was going to happen. I hope they were proud of me.

Hmm...I suppose I should cut out the path of being a thief. I suppose I should tell him a more altered truth that I worked for a group that specialized retrieval of items...no, that would be too obvious. Let's just say that I was under the employ of a merchant. That would satiate him enough, t let him know I was alive. Don't know how he'd react to me being Dragonborn though.

Knowing what has progressed and what obstacles I have gone through was a huge eye opener. My spirit has been broken and torn but healed but not without scars. I have a lot to learn I'd admit, but now, anything before this often included me having no other choice. But fate would tell me I was born to choose whether to find myself or just not do anything.

As a young girl I know farm life wasn't all that interesting. Like I've said previously, friend, I only did what I was told to and I gave it with what I had. Same with the Guild, I followed orders and I've been alive. But for the first time in my life it was me calling the shots. I held in my hands to brisk notion of action, to take hold of everything that was not just set out for me, but to venture into the unknown without a sense of knowing what I was going to do.

But no one was making me do this. They can only advice but in the end, it's got to end with swords clashing and fire breathing...just something mystical and powerful.

* * *

So the summit had been reached, as we saw the large stone monastery before us, overbearing as a impeding relic, sitting upon the edge of the mountainside. I took a deep breath, as I heard Bryn stand beside me and hold my hand for the moment, squeezing it.

"Ready when you are lass." He told me, offering his confidence to me.

I nodded to him.

"I'm ready."

We let go of one another and approached the doors, as Brynjolf placed the bag of meat in the chest at the bottom of the steps before we went inside.

Within was a quiet, cold sanctuary, lit by candles and sunlight that filtered through stained windows, with stone carvings and other etched décor. It was relatively empty and hollow, but I sensed a humbleness about it, the calling of the spirits that were drawn to it. I swallowed my own saliva, getting incredibly nervous for what ever lay ahead. I was hoping there'd be a lot more people around, then realized how bad a situation that we be up here. I was surprised it wasn't covered in snow from avalanches, caused by their shouting. I better not jinx that...

From all directions four old men in ancient black roves approached us. One of them stepped forward to greet us.

"Welcome to High Hrothgar, home of the Greybeards. Tell me, why have you entered our sacred home?" He stated, his voice sounding like my grandfathers.

I looked at Brynjolf who nodded towards me, encouraging me to step forward.

"I...I heard the summons." I spoke, anxiously, recalling the shout that shook the foundations of the earth as I fled in terror that horrific day.

The old man nodded at me.

"Ahh so a Dragonborn has come, at the coming of the age. So, Dragonborn, it appears it has taken you some time to reach us. That shout was many months ago, but you have yet to adapt the call to arms or the call to summons but you're here now and that's a good a time as any. My brothers and had seen it all unfold and heard it as well, the spirit of a Dragon, torn from it's very bones. So you've taken the courage to hear us and made your way passed the treacherous steps to reach us."

I was very stiff. This place, considered one of the most highly respected, and I was so worried I could say anything to offend. These people were...very powerful. And I couldn't lie to them.

"I admit, that it was cowardly for me to have run away as I did. I apologize for my ignorance, as I am but mere flesh and bone to comprehend the meaning."

Sounding formal was draining. Well, formal as in religiously formal.

He nodded.

"Fear not...you have taken the first step, thus far. But let us taste of your voice, to see if you really are Dragonborn."

Wait what?

I bit my lip. Really old man?

"Uhhh...what? Just...shout at you?"

The man smiled at me. I wasn't...sure if this what was what he really meant, but he did.

"It's fine, we can take it. Those trained in the voice are able to withstand it."

I turned to Bryn. He definitely wasn't.

"Uh...you might...want to stand back."

He complied as he stood behind me. I looked at the Greybeards as we stood in the middle of the room. I was hesitant, thinking this men fragile in their old age. But, if anyone asks, they wanted me to...

I inhaled deeply.

"_Fus!_"

I froze as the old men were taking aback slightly, some even stumbled and almost fell over. But they were otherwise fine. Most people would be shot backwards. I was impressed by the vigour of these people. I hope I get that stubborn at that age. But Gods!...I could be protecting them...

The elder spoke came up to me again.

"Then it is you, Dragonborn. Very well. I am Arngeir, I speak for the Greybeards."

I bowed to him as I felt he should be revered. I was eager to learn and to know what it meant to be Dragonborn. Instead, he placed his hand on my head and forced me to stand straight.

"No, it is we who should be bowing to you. You have the inborn ability to learn shouts as the dragons do. Come, we first must test that ability/.."

In a bizarre twist of events, the Greybeards taught me an extra word for my Unrelenting Force shout, as it came to be known. I read some kind of rune on the floor and it just came to me you know, then I somehow had the understanding absorbed into me, you know?

He gave us a brief tour and explanation and brief history of the people who trained here. I learned about the Greybeards and how they stayed up here to study the Way of the Voice. They have studied the Voice and practiced shouts all their lives. My understanding was it that, well, from tradition that it was considered a respectful art, but according to Arngeir, needed to be observed and recognised that the voice is not be used for warfare, but for the worship and glory of the Gods. Brynjolf must hate it.

We walked towards one of the hallways and sat on our knees on prayer mats as Arngeir spoke to us. Fascinating how he rolled out his words with such heart filled wisdom, how the goddess, Kynareth, gave mortals to speak as the dragons do, but Akatosh gave me the dragonblood. There had been other Dragonborn before me of course. So my greatest power was to learn shouts automatically. While it would be easy for me to learn them, to understand them is another story all together.

My Dragonborn spirit intertwines with my subconscious, allowing me to just...know these things in my path. As I slew dragons, I absorbed their knowledge as well. It was starting to make sense to me. About my own connections and my spiritual kinship to the great God Talos, and how he first came here to learn the Way.

I was surprised to walking in the Gods footsteps, as the past beginning of a great Empire. Which was what made this Civil War so damned tragic. Brothers with the same blood, fighting for the God of Man's rights to be a God. If that made sense.

Even Brynjolf got into the discussion of how Talos, as Tiber Septim, came to conquer Tamriel and rule over it as it's Emperor and how just does a man ascend to the heavens to become a deity? I never understood that myself.

"While you are a mortal and you age like we do, your inner spirit isn't. Immortal spirits are tied to the fabric of time and as was Talos bound to the laws like you are, you are the Soul Child of Akatosh, like your dragons. Think of them as your, older, much older brothers."

Dear Gods know. I hated sharing myself them to a kin. Thinking like that terrified me and made me feel worse. What kind of sibling would just kill one another and steal their soul? You'd have hate them to the point of seething.

"Aye, she's supposed to kill them though. Wasn't she born to do that?" Brynjolf questioned.

He was definitely right.

"It is in a dragons nature to dominate and claim power over their own kin. So the nature of their shouts is for their arguing. The one who triumphs will in turn, steal their soul."

Arngeir answered.

What a shitty way to live.

I still felt guilty if I tried to lie to the old man regarding my phobia of the creatures I was destined to kill. I would be incredibly embarrassed and humiliating if I told them. The other Greybeard would laugh at me. I nodded firmly.

"I'm just looking to find out what it means to be Dragonborn." I explained, keen in finding the real answers.

"Hm...to my knowledge, there is a prophecy about how the Last Dragonborn of time is destined to slay Alduin the World-Eater at the end of time. Whether or not that is true, it is up to you to decide on whether you can fulfill your destiny."

I grumbled as I got confused.

"But...you say the Way of the Voice is meant to be worship in the glory of the Gods, not abused. How can...how can I..."

Arngeir looked at me sternly.

"Listen...while the Way is honourable to follow and it would be good for you to abide by it, but Akatosh made you Dovahkiin-Dragonborn for a purpose. You have every right to use it if need be. But, you still must be cautious."

I nodded. That I understood, Cautious...yes.

"Pardon my misunderstanding. Then what I am to do next?"

Arngeir smiled.

"We ourselves would be honoured to teach you. But first, while you have proven you have the gift, and the ability to learn, but for us, you require a tool to use for one last test. Follow me."

Arngeir took us outside, alongside the other monks. Seemed like a training yard with a large bonfire in the middle. One of the Greybeards then tried that weird sort of, shouting at the ground to create a word then me seeing I'm like hey! I know this word...and then that tingling sensation as I then felt the understanding of the word. Look, I'm translating this into words we both understand? It's harder than it looks friend!

Turns out it was they taught me how me how to do this epic shout they called the Whirlwind Sprint. A gust of wind just shoots you far. That could be a practical advantage me in the long run.

There are many, many shouts, according to Arngeir, that the dragons utilize daily. The boost their strengths and to cover their weaknesses. I was right, I do have a lot to learn.

They got me to use the gate nearby for the test. I think it was just to use a different type of shout. But I definitely saw myself using Whirlwind Sprint in the future.

"_WULD_...WOOOO!"

But when I did use it, it was amazing. You're surrounded by this magical force that just pushes you at high speed. I wanted to get used to it and get over the shock of it. But it was actually kind of fun.

Brynjolf looked at me with crossed arms and a "Oh dear" expression at me.

He stood next to Arngeir as they observed my craziness unfold. I don't care. Let them watch. I'm having the time of my life.

After exhausting myself and nearly burning my throat out, Arngeir just set me up on some quest, that if I succeed, that I'll be formally recognized as Dragonborn..

So, I had to get this Horn, apparently from the Greybeards founder, Jurgen Windcaller from a place known as Ustengrav

The opportunity was enlightening of course, but, it might not be as bad as I make it out to be. Maybe it's my inner nord telling me I was born to do this. I can choose not to do this. But then...Alduin...

All I could think about was Helgen...it stained my memories.  
Brynjolf and I sat inside by the middle of Monastery against the pillar and tried to figure out our next move. But he saw me in my current state, reading my mind from my face.

"I know that look lass..." He told me.

"What's on your mind?"

I fiddled with my fingers. I know...it's inevitable. I just need to...

"I tell myself Brynjolf, that...I have to do this. You know? Being like some sort of Chosen one makes you feel special. But as Dragonborn you already have these expectations weighed down upon you. And I don't want to fail anyone...and only now I realize, that if I fail, the world is doomed. And that's the scariest part."

He put his arm around my shoulders and brought me in close, kissing me on the top of my head.

"Don't pay much mind to their rituals. I think they enjoy it more than you do, so I say let the old men do their thing. But if there's any time you're not sure, you remember that you give people hope."

Bryn always knew what to say during the worst of times.

"Yeah...I guess so."

It's always the harshest reality. You are the peak of adventuring, need to seek out and find and discover things that haven't been found in many an era. And all this...to prepare me?

It's hard to believe that, well, prophecies like this become true and you're stuck in the middle of it. People find it great, but for the centre of it, it's quite alarming. You get all the pressure to succeed and they may or may not care about what you think. I believe the worst of it would be others, that believe in it so badly, that they don't want it to go wrong and will die for you to make sure that everything goes according to plan and bang, the world is saved.

It's not that simple. I don't want people dying for me. I am mortal, like them, I just happen to have a skill and talent they don't. And they are honest, good people and I'm just a Rogue undeserving of the love and attention I'm given.

Don't make me question my role as a thief though. I pretty much pick on the rich assholes and stay away from the people I care about. Whether that's me doing the talking there or is it something else?

I haven't started to explore properly yet. Although I've been in Dwemer ruins, killed dragons...and I've been through a whole rainbow of emotions already. Fear, Anger, Love, Lust, Annoyance, Nervous, Happy...and like a rainbow they go up, then go down.

So it was then we decided to head back down again, and return to Ivarstead.

* * *

Long trip down but definitely easier. I wasn't forcing myself this time. We got back to town in the late afternoon and got something to eat at the Inn.

Arngeir had marked the location on our map, so we tried to make our course of action and our path.

I know all the fun is in doing this, entering dangerous locations and risking yourself to do the work. But in the back of my head, I know they do this because...I would be able to handle it eventually. Draugr are fine, I've never had too much issue with them (except the ones who constantly shout, cast spells and conjure frost atronachs in my face...ugh. I just need to lop their heads off)

But the pain of it getting there, makes me think if it's worth it. I am the one to do this yes. I know what Brynjolf once told me, that I was chosen because the Gods predicted what I would do in time and that I would eventually take action.

The fact that I could have chosen not to was irrelevant. They chose me of all people to do it. That I was cast in the shades of time with a task to do and that I will succeed. How though? This had to be the start of it I hoped.

And I then remember Bryn is by my side. I don't think I could do it without him. Talos bless him. I'll say that, I know I wouldn't have dragged him on this if he didn't want to, but...then I wouldn't have uhh...expressed my love for him. Ahem.

It's too soon to say that things were taking shape as they intended to. Who had the ultimate control?

Brynjolf and I sat a table, grumbling how we just Ustengrav wasn't far from Morthal. We were just there!

"Pity we don't have precognition eh lass?" He snarked, taking a bite out of some bread.

I collapsed on the table, head falling and arms spreading.

"That's a big word for you Bryn." I teased.

He shrugged.

"Aye, Arngeir likes filling your head with most...intrinsic words."

I rolled my eyes.

"Okay I get your point book boy." I scolded lazily.

He chuckled and continued to bite into his bread, while I decided on my apple.

We heard a few locals heading in, coming in after a hard day. It was getting darker and we'd spent the whole day in High Hrothgar, discovering and finding new things. I guess the challenge was fighting the time we had. I'd prefer if we leave now, but we just needed to get ourselves sorted and properly rested first.

We paid no mind to any of their chatter first. Until..

"Hey, did you hear that strange noise last night?" Asked the Innkeeper, Wilhelm to the bard, Lynly. These names just tend to stick to you when you first know them.

"Sounded like Skeevers." She commented.

"I...don't know. Skeevers don't make thumping sounds like that." Wilhelm pointed out.

Brynjolf and I still had our mouths full as we froze, then looked at one another without moving out heads. Oh...oh no.

"You maybe right. I never heard Skeevers pant like that either. I went downstairs to have a look. I'll have to check the rooms. They either left or they're still in hiding."

Lynly shuddered.

"Do you think...that it was the Ghost from the Barrow again?" She wondered, frightened.

Wilhelm shook his head and cleaned the bench.

"Don't know, the ghost tends to keep to the barrow. Never heard it coming down here though."

Damn it. How did they? I swear we were silent much as we could. Unless...

We were louder than we thought we were. The original intensity was covered by thunder. It's hard to work with silence and echoing walls that hear everything. Who's fault was it? They never specified.

I tried changing the topic quickly as I went to investigate.

"Ghohff...sorry, did you say, a ghost?" I questioned in my haste, as I half chewed down a piece of my apple.

The bard and the Innkeeper looked at me.

"Yes. Shroud Hearth Barrow. Keep away from it if you know what's good for you."

I turned to Brynjolf. I needed an excuse to not stay there the night here any more. And a well hidden place that lacked noise so I could argue with him. Brynjolf just face palmed. Plus! Treasure! Mystery! Experience! Why not?

Thankfully this was more amusing.


	43. Shroud Hearth Barrow

**AN: Bit of a development, but gotta keep the story a bit original right?**

**Chapter 43**

**Shroud Hearth Barrow**

So I have to play her stupid game...and she has to kill a giant.

Great.

We fled to cover our hides to investigate the Barrow nearby, a ring like dug out structure, with coffins surrounding it. To what endeavours we use to forget about our predicament, to seek out the source of the haunting. We headed down the set up steps when we went inside. There was a voice calling for us to leave...a disembodied spirit, locking behind a gate. It was your usual dark ancient nord ruin, equipped with traps and so forth. Petra found it a game to find out where the traps were. Always had a keen eye that one.

I'm not too fond of ghosts. I'm not scared of them, they are just horrid creatures. Echoes of an age long gone and many have died in on the onslaught of a ghosts unpredictability. We both summoned our Nightingale armour just in case. There were few Draugr that we both took down with relative ease, not really issue there. More puzzles, until we came across the spirit itself as it attacked us.

Using common sense, you'd reckon when Petra fired her arrow it'd go straight through it, instead it stuck in its body and screamed in agony. We finally took the poor fool down. It's ethereal effect faded and it was revealed to be live person. Well, was still alive before we killed him.

Petra found the book as it detailed the mad mans pursuit to open one of the nordic puzzle doors nearby and was looking for a Dragon Claw key. According to my father, there were many places sealed with these keys and often you would have to find the key itself to find out the answer.

People back then were either stupid, or clever.

But this man, Wyndelius, was persistent but turned to madness when he couldn't open it.

Poor fool.

But, Petra just took some goods left lying around, of course. She picked up a large blue bottle and read the label

"Philter of the Phantom. Must have been the stuff he used to make himself like this. That's..."

I face palmed. She either found that fascinating or useful. Or both. Or worse.

She turned to me.

"Can we try this one night?..."

My face went red, lucky it was behind the cowl but still. Brynjolf you'd predicted this would happen as well. Of course she'd...

"I'm joking. But...you never know..."

I rolled my eyes as she had that seductive pose. Damnit woman, give me a break.

"Maybe some other time lass. But for now, at least we solved the issue of the haunting." I told her.

She nodded.

"Alright then. But like this idiot, I'm wondering what made him so...keen to find out what's behind the door? I don't remember seeing other doors around here, did you?"

I crossed my arms and thought. I didn't really want to, as it would be a waste of time. Though I did sense something larger here myself, even if I didn't know what it was.

We went to find the door itself. We came across something that was like an ebony door. Petra examined it thoroughly. I watched as her eyes went up and down it and pondered for quite some time.

I know she's been through this before. She always does it, having this uncanny insight into things. Although perhaps as a thief, you know what trickery will lay before you. I knew that myself as a matter of fact. Your knowledge of the shadows doesn't start with just Nocturnal's luck. No, you must know how to blend and keep out of sight. You show your initiative and Nocturnal will aid you. But you don't know when of course. This is going by what Karliah told me once of course. You could either confuse your skill with luck itself and the lines are blurred when the Daedra is involved.

"This doesn't smell right." She commented.

I rose an eyebrow at her.

"Smells like Draugr."

She punched in me in the arm as quickly as I felt it without any kind of hesitation or body language that foretold it. Ouch. Bad words then.

"Hmm...no...let's see..."

She pushed the doors open, and instantly jumped into my arms as fire shot out of two wall ornaments. I would have chuckled that it scared her but...

The fire itself reminded me of my dream. Horrific. Was it telling me to be cautious? I didn't realise I was squeezing her so hard she started to choke. I let her go once I snapped out of it.

"Gods Bryn, gah. Someone protect me from your hug of death!" She joked.

"Sorry lass...couldn't help." I said, hoping to make it sound like I was just being a stir, but...

Once the fires themselves stopped, we went down the long, wide hall, roof curved over as we approached the nordic puzzle door. Petra had a quick look around, but, of course, just like that Wyndelius lad, we were met with complete failure.

We decided that it was just going to be a complete waste of our time and headed out with our load of goods.

To solve problems instead of causing them can give you that warm feeling. Aye, what we are is what we decide to do for a living. Though perhaps it's the way that when you see the smile and relief in peoples faces, that you've done them a service that they'd never forget, that the spirits themselves let you know and make you feel good inside.

Maybe I'm just hanging around Petra too much. None of us are honest, but we're privileged. I suppose in order to keep to ourselves we best not get to involved and not try to be the heroes, or else you'll end up with a dagger in the back of your neck.

She was born to live like this, but to me, she's just the type of person who do things for the sake of doing them. She may say it's for Gold, but when you make the world a better place bit by bit, it makes you question every other choice you've made in life.

My defiance of my father was inborn rebellion. I simply could not stand to take what he was doing, forcing his teaching down my throat that I don't like mentioning all the things I supposedly know, because Shor knows I'll never use them down the line. I'm beginning to see the lessons worth, even though I do hold my father in contempt because of them.

The world we live in is forever grey. We're in constant conflict because we are what we are in life and history repeats itself. We're all made up of thousands of influences. Some may stand out, but others...forget about it. It's already a lost cause and there's not much you can do but hope and pray that they can still turn their lives around.

I'm just doing what I know. But what I already knew that I never wanted to remember was when we met with the Greybeards. I'd been up there before myself you know...

As a lad, my father just wanted to practice using shouts and wanted me to learn. I was too full of fire, impatience and disdain for even wanting to hang around with these old men just to scream at the sky all day. I found it then to be extremely pointless magic. But speaking with the Greybeards earlier that day, troubled me somewhat...

* * *

So when we got to High Hrothgar earlier, we were met by these same old men. The one who calls himself, Arngeir, instantly recognised me but didn't say a word. He was more interested in Petra. But Petra herself didn't pick up on the fact that we knew one another already. I'd prefer it to be that way. So when was Petra was busy learning and practicing her shouts, I stood next to him and had the first discussion we were able to have in years since then.

"When you walked up those steps, I was wondering if you were the same stubborn boy who came up with his ambitious father all those years ago." He explained to me.

"Aye. I'm here for support." I told him. Might as well be honest with him.

Arngeir nodded.

"Support is welcomed as always. But I remember you with that vexation in your heart." He continued

Much to my chagrin, yes.

"But I knew that one day I would see you again."

I had my hands on my hips as I looked at him, baffled.

"Again? So despite all the resentment into learning all that guff, you honestly believed that I would come back at one point." I called out, confused.

A hastened breeze shot past us. Petra was having way too much fun with that Whirlwind Sprint.

"Of course. That's what your father said anyway. He told me that you'll come to understand the reasons for your own good one day. I was hoping that day would be today, but I was met with, something rather different instead." He stated.

Figures. Dragonborn are much more important.

"Don't take that as an offence, The girl...has spirit no doubt. What about you? You may be supporting her, but I sense you're at a greater ire than you're letting on."

You can't fool them. Not at all. I sighed.

"I'm in a crisis of faith mostly. I never wanted to follow in fathers footsteps. Revoking Talos' position of being a God, and my mothers death took a larger toll on him. He was trying to shove so many things into my head that I was bewildered that my head didn't explode." I spoke with the hint of spite.

Arngeir nodded again.

"You're at odds because of what your father taught you?" He asked me.

I rubbed the back of my head and shrugged.

"I...don't know. I mean, I wasn't exactly divulging in noble activities because it was what I had to do. The man gave me so much grief that I just wanted my freedom to do what I wanted and just ignored anything that came to pass." I spoke with the hint of anxiousness. I was also dwelling in the turmoil by just thinking about it.

Arngeir watched on.

"You refused all meaning and lurked down a darker path. Tell me, did your father ever tell you why he wanted you to know?" He queried.

Not really. I only had my assumptions.

"Because he was a passionate, devoted to Talos and venerated him so much that he prayed for day he would smite the Thalmor for their terrible mistakes." I told him.

Father never blamed the Empire. He knew because Talos founded the Empire and the Stormcloaks that wanted to root out the Empire were just placing themselves short of religious treason. They wanted to glorify the very man that founded Tamriel in one of the greatest conquests in history and helped build the Empire. No...he blamed the Elves. The Elves were the real problem.

He favoured the stories of Ysgramor and founding of the Companions...and the elves that were slain for going against them. Pride as my old mans greatest weakness. And his true ire for the Thalmor and the Dominion was hardly matched.

"Your father was investigating the possibility of a Dragonborn in the new age. Simply, because of what your mother said."

I turned to him.

"What?"

Arngeir lowered his head.

"Yes, he told me about your mother and her tendency to run off course a bit. His words not mine."

I'd never heard mother speak of the Dragonborn.

"She only said it once. Saying that the spirit itself was already alive but too young to enact. He wanted to prove to you, a true Nord that would save Skyrim many times over."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Though it does come to a surprise that this nord is...well, a woman. Akatosh does not judge based on gender for we are all settled as equals in the eyes of the Gods. "

Yeah, well back then and even now, a lot of men are relatively sexist and are judgemental.

"But you know yourself that the Dragonborn is the very avatar of the Nord soul. Highly respected amongst all who appreciate the legends."

That I knew from the tales of ancient Dragonborn past.

"Aye I do..."

I must have kept my eye on Petra in the stillness as we stood there, watching her do her thing. She practised her abilities with her blades and kept watch of her shouts. There's a noble lass.

This whole thing was in her blood. Why father wouldn't tell me what he was looking for was anyones guess. He came here to show me, to tell the Greybeards what my mother supposedly said that I never heard. I wasn't entirely happy about all the secrecy involved here. Too suspicious indeed.

Both of them knew though. Was the Dragonborn topic to be kept secret until the time comes? Was this part of some kind of weird notion because of Talos? Were they to use her against the Thalmor too? I had no idea what was going on in my fathers head. But if he as so touches her I'll.

"You don't strike me as the supporter Brynjolf. You were so against the teachings and only now you seek to understand. Has the journey with the Dragonborn opened your mind?" Arngeir questioned.

A little bit. But there's still so much to learn.

"My world view is a bit more open. But it still doesn't explain my fathers motives. Yes, I know she's destined to kill Alduin. That part we all know. But the passages to get there..." I answered. Though how much was open was hard to say.

Arngeir smiled.

"The Dragonborn writes her own stories on the currents of time. There are thousands of way she knows how to get there. Her fate has been written. Her birth comes with the oneset of the nearby future. He appearance here has everything to do with the Dragons themselves, and more..."

I still didn't understand.

"The Gods sort it out. They knew and they see themselves what has to be done. They set the course of events in motion and they're subtle, but they know what's going on as they see through different times and places to seek out what they're looking for. For in their eyes they see a potentate. They cast another Talos, another St. Alessia, another Ysmir because for the eyes can see, they see all the worlds and their futures. They'll take a special interest in an individual because their decisions have impressed them and implant their influences as much they need to."

It...sort of made sense. I don't know.

"I know I made up some theories in the past. The lass won't tell you this, but she's been through a lot of pain and I just want to make sure to make everything as painless as I can. My main was that they chose her because they knew that one way or another, that eventually, she'll make the first step and take a stand to what's going on around us. And by doing that, earning the Gods favour before she's even born." I worded, sounding a tad desperate.

Arngeir nodded.

"You need to accept that everyone's paths are different, but our goals are always the same. By choosing the right path, the Dragonborn receives a unique goal separate from everyone else and therefore part of that path needs to be laid out carefully. We're here to assist her with that with as much wisdom to impart to her."

I tapped my arm.

"What can I do then? If I'm merely nameless support, I don't play a part of anything because I'm just a regular guy."

Arngeir patted my shoulder.

"Do not worry dear boy. The Gods still lay out plans for everyone else. Some may never seek their destinies and ignored the Gods true will, but that does not matter to them for they can only do so much. Their choices and decisions are their own. They are not written down or foretold, so they can alter as much as they like."

That twisted my head a bit from what he said prior.

"Wait, you said the Dragonborns path is her own and everyone has the same goal..."

The elder chuckled.

"Fate...choice. That's a small line between them. Her fate is to choose if you want to get into the deeper prospects. She can choose to ignore us and find another way. She will always have that. Though we wouldn't want her to of course. But she's chosen to come here. Like Tiber Septim before her."

Yeah and look how that turned out. But Tiber was told of his fate and he made his way around to it. No one would ever truly understand...but...

"So, what does that have to do with my father?" I asked again.

"Why was he seeking her out?"

The Greybeard gave me a frown.

"I do not know. The man was never clear to any of us. He was intent to study the Way of the Voice himself. Get some idea what to do. But I think he was interested in getting more knowledge of the Dragon language."

I wondered what he was hoping to try and do.

"Well my intent is to help Petra. I still am not sure if I can totally follow the whole values side of it. It's...a spiritual quest for her than for me. At least. I'm learning, but my fathers not pushing me about it this time."

Arngeir shuffled his arms in his robe.

"She'll need all the help she can get. The only word of advice I'll give you, is that you still have choice for yourself. It might not be written down anywhere but you'll know in your own spirit where to go and where to lead yourself eventually. Who knows, maybe your adventures with Petra will open your eyes more and make it clearer to you. A path is open to you Brynjolf. It is up to you to take it."

I grinned.

"I am sure of it. I am set on doing what I can. But do you believe I'll figure it out all?"

He lifted his chin, deep in thought.

"I believe everyone can. What's more important is to believe...you can."

* * *

Yes, musing on my own crisis in knowing. Being definite was fading and I was become more jaded and nubile throughout. But what my father was asking...that he knew...my mother knew. It all became too complicated for me to think about any more.

We'd returned back to the Inn and informed Wilhelm that the ghost won't be bothering them. Petra handed him the journal to prove he. He was quite surprised but also annoyed that this ghost was nothing but a fake. He thanked us, and gave Petra a Dragon Claw made of Sapphire.

We both looked at one another. No...it couldn't be.

"Do we still have time?" She asked me.

I suppose it wouldn't hurt.

The irony was strong. Wyndelius had been searching for this for a year and Wilhelm just happens to have it on his persons. Idiot deserved it.

* * *

We ended up going back to Shroud Hearth Barrow and going back to the hallway with the puzzle door. After Petra adjusted the panels to their rightful symbols, she placed the claw into the slot and twisted it. She then stood back next to me as it opened itself up.

So we finally managed to get to the deeper part of the barrows. Still dark but you shouldn't expect massive miracles. We went through the passageways, fought off more Draugr, recovered more loot. The kind that had very good value. I suppose why steal when there were ruins to explore? Oh, I kept forgetting about the probability of death being higher, but the risk itself seems to suit the reward.

Going through rooms, barely dodging traps and tricks throughout it. Made my heart beat faster with immeasurable power. Again, Petra looked like she was enjoying herself. She mostly hated the Draugr that kept shouting at her and always told me to get out of the way. She was a lot sturdier now after meeting the Greybeards. Could have been the renewed conviction swimming within.

It got messy at times, water, dirt...stones and the like. There was one room with a sets of wooden stairs that we wandered into as we passed a bulwark. Petra wandered forward, seeing skeletons below, walking around a spillage of oil.

Petra looked up and licked her lips. She pressed her finger against her lips for me to be quiet. Why wouldn't I be?

She was lot more cocky, bouncy and just was more firm with herself. Happiness...yeah...saw plenty of that. The thrill was exciting and just making her more risky for what ever reason. I'm trying to get the idea of that in my head somehow, contrasting past memories of her.

She fired an arrow at an oil lamp hanging over head. She hit the string holding it and watched as it fell down below. It exploded on the ground and the oil set the skeletons burnt down from the flames.

The flames got high enough, making me a bit weary. Surely...

But Petra was okay and smiling. I was wondering whether her dragon self had taken over permanently and not that meek self of hers. I did love both. Maybe they merged, maybe that freedom has allowed her to express herself properly and not act as a thug in the darkness. She wasn't acting for purity or a clean slate. She just did what had to be done and more. That's just my personal opinion. We kept walking around a bit more. Finding even more traps and using our skills to dodge to our advantage. Some locks picked with slight difficulty but we managed well enough.

There was a totem puzzle that just dragged on though. We worked together to figure it out within at least ten minutes or so. We finally came across an unusual room that seemed to have sarcophagi everywhere. I still had my bland in hand. I sensed nothing but trouble in here. We were on high platforms that sat up above a small moat of water.

Petra told me to shut up about it, and ordered me to stand down. She checked her quiver and counted the sarcophagi. She was trying to think how many she needed for each of what ever would pop out of there. She took a deep breath as I kept my guard up, my eyes ever watchful. There were the first set that popped open their lids. Her chin lowered, eyes strained on their target. She took aim and released. And we each other after the first set, she made the same repeated motions. It was like an obscure dance. The way she pulled on that string on the bow and the steady movements with the arrows. A sweet song of the undeath being put back into their eternal slumber. I had to admit no wonder she was so going...with...uh...pulling. Ahem.

Eventually, it came to the large one in the middle, sitting on the highest part. It popped out and let out a huge roar. You could see the shadowy long horns sprouting from it's helmet.

Petra smirked as she reached for her quiver...until she realised she was out. She'd misjudged or miscalculated.

Here we go.

She shook her head. I'd be annoyed with myself if I was in her position. She'd forgotten she could have used her blades instead of actually using her arrows to be all show offy.

I face palmed.

She got up and charged at the beast instead.

"FUS...RO _DAAAHH!_"

Study enough, but almost flipped her over when the draugr shout at her. I barely dodged myself.

Still she got our both her blades and just fought it off.

There was something...familiar in all of this. Petra was quick in her movements but the Draugr itself, supposedly dumb as a chicken but skilled in battle to defend themselves. This was the type of creature, whom once worshipped the Dragon Priests and their Dragon masters. Cursed to eternal undeath. Horrid.

Aye I took my own charge at as the draugr had an ebony greatsword and kept whacking at Petra. She had good agility to roll out of the way, avoiding the swings. I took it from behind once it was still, then lopped off it's head.

As it dropped, I put my blade away and smirked arrogantly at Petra and crossed my arms.

"Impressed?" I asked her, trying to stir her up...give her grief.

She just rolled her eyes and sheathed her swords.

"Finally, you're actually useful!" She mocked.

Oh she was going to get it later.

We let our animosity drift away for the moment as we continued onwards. The next room we entered had a huge treasure chest, with some old armour and weapons and other bits around it. Our eyes lit up with delight as the candles lit up around it. I could contain myself, but Petra was so uncharacteristically jubilated by it, it almost scared me. But seeing her happy, I couldn't complain.

We opened to see loot inside. Usual stuff, gold...jewels. We stashed as much as we could into our pockets. We scurried about, until Petra lifted her head and tilted it. Don't tell me she's not like a kitten.

"Is that...a word wall?" She muttered.

I closed the chest and stood up behind her. I could hear voices, the same magical influence from Snow Veil Sanctum.

We walked closer and the voices got stronger. Petra was entirely unfazed by it. I followed her as she went in front of the wall and rose her arms.

I saw the magic seep through the cracks of the dragon text etched within. She was bathed in a almost-holy light, embracing the energies given to her. Her eyes were glowing a golden and violet colour, before the absorption ceased and the lights stood down.

I crossed my arms.

"Am I allowed to know what that word was?" I questioned.

She closed her eyes for a bit and bit her tongue, trying to make sense of what she'd learned. I saw it was an interesting process for her, but that was actually the first time I'd seen her get something from a word wall and not from the Greybeards.

"Uh...I...I don't know. I have an understanding of the word, but I can't feel myself being forced to use it. I think. I think it's...Kaan? Yeah. Kaan. No one idea what it means though. I'll know soon enough...but the magics...or what ever realm takes care of my understanding..."

Most likely her dragonborn soul telling her.

"...to calm animals I believe? Awesome. I miss petting the bunnies."

I looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Lass...what are you doing to the rabbits?"

She shook her head with haste and felt she was being accused. I was just kidding.

"Every time I try and pat them they get scared and run off! They're so cute."

Gods Petra...could you be anymore...adorable. She's a kitten. Wild, playful...you know...

Made me wonder if this was what she was truly like when she lived in Cyrodiil. Enjoying herself. But it was nice seeing her like this. It was healthy.

We'd gone back to town with our success in the barrow. Petra learned a new word and we have loads of treasures to sell. Problem was, there was no where or no one to sell them to. Thieves and explorers problems...ugh.

"We could always head back to Riften?" She suggested as we walked back to the Inn.

I grumbled.

"Then we're gonna delay our trip to Ustengrav lass. It'll take too long. Why don't we pay a visit to Whiterun?"

Her eyes widened. Oh, I almost forgot. How silly of me. She stood there with a scorn written all over her face.

"You know how I feel about going back there Bryn. Never again."

I rubbed my forehead. I had to think of something.

"Maybe if we're lucky one of the Khajiit Caravans will be there." I assured her.

* * *

So we ended up spending one more night in Ivarstead. I have to know, whether or not if any of this ends up revealing more to me than I would have guessed. I don't like talking about it because it's irrelevant and nothing to do with what we've got here. We have a thing going and I like it so far. But, well, we put our stuff inside and readied ourselves to rest. We were both rather exhausted from both the climbs to High Hrothgar and raiding the ruins of Shroud Hearth Barrow. But I couldn't stop thinking about what Arngeir said.

We took off all our armour and put it aside as Petra yawned and stretched as we shuffled underneath the sheets and embraced each other, with Petra falling asleep first with a huge grin on her face. I kissed her goodnight and put one arm around her as she leaned on my chest, her body in a fetal position, and my other hand behind my back. I had trouble sleeping myself. That dream from last night was disconcerting. The fires that consumed. Even today, I get more worried about it. I shouldn't...really...but my gut says otherwise. And now that I found out that my fathers been looking for the Dragonborn all this time, it becomes critical to find out more.

Arngeir was right. He's ambitious...ruthless. Where ever he was now was most likely either dead or cooped up in some dwemer ruin. I'm inclined to believe the later, as father is tenacious and actually pretty good in battle. Of course, he's a nord!

As I hold Petra in my arms, it's...damning to think about anything else. Even my own mother kept secrets from me.

Thankfully I forgot it temporarily as I got tired, finally, and let my eyelids handle the rest.


	44. Whiterun

**AN: And now for something completely different...well, sort of. Just read and see.**

**43**

**Whiterun**

Why did I agree to this?

Why or why?

I had hoped not to step into Whiterun again.

But, I had visited Whiterun before, a few times even. I'd had to go to Dragonsreach while everyone was asleep and used invisibility potions to make sure I wasn't seen. No doubt the Jarl himself would have wanted to speak with me. I didn't want to weigh him down with my failures and hesitation to act.

Now I'm a much better woman now than I was before. Dragons still terrify me, but the courage to build was easier to manage. I still hated doing it, but...like my father once said, we all gotta do something even if we hate it.

I don't know if it covered the possibility of risking ones self and putting others on the line. As a Nord you would think, yes...yes it does. This is my father speaking in my mind to offer my life because it was for a noble cause. If he'd known I was dragonborn, what would his story of reason be?

No matter, we were on our way, on our horses to the busy metropolis nonetheless. I trailed behind Brynjolf, who understood my reluctance but made sure I stuck to that metaphorical rope of his to ensure I wouldn't just run off without him. But this was my thief side talking, considering the very reason we were going there was just to sell our junk. I know it all gets confusing and frustrating at times, spouting out the philosophical prospects. Do I know what I truly want sort of discussion? Maybe I want freedom maybe I want to understand my real purpose in life. To kill another living thing? And kill it permanently. Doesn't warrant mercy or need to talk. These monsters will never negotiate and Arngeir calls their shouting arguments that handled the draconic way.

These are ageless creatures, you'd think they'd wise up to the fact that those methods don't work any more. They are immortal in body and in mind...their minds do not age either. Or die off. That's just my opinion of it anyway. I'm just a mortal who knows she doesn't have forever to change. Dragons have that superior air to them, like the dreaded Thalmor. So fair to annul death itself, unto the mind does not need to develop and no need to change for they are the end of all things, the peak of their own civilisation and the society they built themselves all null, for they are the immortal. The envy of all creatures. For once you are free from mortality, you are free to do as you choose.

Akatosh himself foresaw the tyranny and sent me down to declare myself their nemesis. A mortal, a mortal with not much time but uses it wisely to make due and face themselves in the brackets of death by kin. A kin who will die with age. Or otherwise.

It's like their hatred for me is because I'm an insult. An insult to them the fact that I can do mostly what they're known to do and I do not have forever to do it. And if I'm happy and I'm content with that sort of life they cannot comprehend my own being.

It's an amusing thought. You can say why it changed my mind, to slap irony in their stupid, scaly faces. But...I also cared...somewhat. I don't like people in general but I'd rather let them live because they're just like me and trying to live out their lives. I'd rather avoid them as much as I can. But duty will inevitably call me to work with them and I will help out where I can.

Duty of the hero? Maybe? To just give yourself reputation and make people say, hey, that's the Dragonborn! She'll know what to do. Now that will give my burden, many burdens even. I don't know everything. But I will...I will try. I know that, given what's happened to me and what's happened around me that I would have considered giving up, but pride gets in the way and forces me to stand.

And love. Love as well. I hated giving sadness to Brynjolf simply because I'm in dire need. He puts up with a lot and I admire him for it. My love for his selfless compassion. He'll never say it out loud. He may say it's just for me but he's got it there. I will gladly lay my life on the line for him. Love will make you do crazy things but you know it's just become natural for me. I'm...more optimistic, not completely but getting there. There will always be things that I will be uncertain of. But if I'm on the right track like Arngeir had said, then everything will eventually fall into place.

* * *

We got to Whiterun just before noon. We wandered past hoping to see the Khajiit Caravan...but, sadly, no caravan there today. Not in their usual camping spot that is. So we ended up inside the city itself. I was weary, but Brynjolf just stated to sell what we can to the local shops. Belethor was the worst merchant I'd ever met. I made Brynjolf sell the stuff instead. He's good with talking anyway. I just leaned on a pole outside the sop

I spent the remainder of my time staring at the Gildegreen, watching the leaves flatter about in the brisk winds. Yeah I healed that thing for some reason. Compelled to...you know that hero stuff get's to you. I wouldn't say it's addicting...just for the sense of nordic honour and challenge. You want to see things at their strongest. And I helped paint the picture. Giving glory back. All that crap.

I had someone approach me, not sure who they were. Hooded guy, cloaked in a tainted white and red lined robe, that sort of thing.

I took caution as I stood up straight.

"Excuse me, but is your name Petra?" He asked, voice low. Polite, but how in Oblivion did he know my name?

"Yes?" I answered.

I couldn't see his face, but he definitely had an ambiguous aura about him.

"Pardon my intrusion, but my name is Torvan. Can I have a moment of your time?"

The politeness scared me more. But I went with it. Strange as it was.

"You're not selling me anything are you?" I questioned. These types always had some infamous ploy.

He shook his head.

"No. I'm a Representative of my group, the Crusaders of Verity. No one has heard of us. People say that a lot."

I rose an eyebrow. Heh, at least he had good foresight and a smidget of humour.

"Let me guess, you want me to do something?" I asked. I suppose my name gets around somewhat. Maybe someone from the Guild let slip or someone else maybe.

"In time, but my master has heard of your exploits around Skyrim. She does not intrude upon your own roles in the land. She does not care. She cares on what you can do." He spoke cryptically. I was beginning to wonder what spirits were around to make sense of that. This master, sounds more like a stalker.

"Yeah well I can do a lot of things." I boasted without enthusiasm.

"I'm well aware. My master simply wishes to inform you that if you are in ever need of any particular services, that you can find us." He informed me.

My brain just went dead.

"Uhhh yeah sure. Say if I do need you or your...'services'. Where would I find you?"

Questions that just need to be asked. He nodded.

"Come visit the College of Winterhold. I will be there. If not me, then one of my Colleagues."

Magic based. Always is. He then placed something in my hand. A ring of sorts, silver with an odd circle like symbol etched into it.

"She also wishes to give you that. A Verity ring. It's mainly used for defensive purposes, enhancing the magical barriers around your body, but when you're ever down...I would recommend you call on it's power. It might save your life someday." He told me.

I looked at the man strangely.

"Thanks? I guess?" I said, puzzled.

He nodded.

"You should be honoured. Once the Master has someone in their sights, she takes care of them as much she can."

I furrowed my brows.

"Why doesn't she just come to me instead?" I called out.

He chortled.

"My master isn't exactly confrontational when it comes to matters like these. She is very busy. But like I said, when the time comes, she will make herself known to you. And before I forget, you may want to avoid another group for a while."

I lifted my chin, studying him with suspicion.

"Another group eh? Why's that?"

"They call themselves the Cult of Slaughter. All you need to know is that they're horrible people looking to consolidate power. They were last seen in Skyrim escorting a protected package with a half a dozen guards. Where to? Don't know, we're still looking into it. They're still within the hold I believe."

I crossed my arms.

"Really? And what makes you think I wouldn't go up to them and take a peek at their precious cargo?"

Torvan's smile really unnerved me.

"The master predicted you would. What they're up to needs to be stopped. The only information they need that crucial to their plan is one piece that they haven't laid their hands on yet...or better yet, two pieces. They already have one, but without the others they'll be far from finished." He explained to me.

Interesting.

"So let me say your master is the one who told you this? So she observes from where ever she hides and feeds you orders and information? And yes, the ultimate ingredient in this is that she is a mystic! What is it with people and making other people do their jobs and be all...mysterious about it? What is wrong with just telling me upright?" I complained.

He wasn't fazed.

"The master is very careful with the details she gives out. She prefers to push things along rather than alter them outright. It'd be a complete disaster if we did."

I rolled my eyes.

"So says her fortune-telling. And you enjoy the secrecy?"

He nodded.

"Secrets can kill when given to the wrong people. You can always predict would people would do on their past actions. They may change and you'd be wrong. In this case, the master reads people in real time as well. She only recruits those she knows she'll able to trust. In this case, she finds people...people don't find her." He told me.

I sighed. Yeah it often goes like that.

"Yet you want me to find her. A bit contradicting there..." I pointed out.

He smirked.

"Only because she wants you to find her. But not now. She will be available to you. Once your heart knows when and when becomes now that you intend to seek her, she'll come to you."

Damned Mystics.

"I'll take your word for it then. So you know I am definitely interested in that package...you going to stop me?"

He shook his head.

"Not at all. I was just testing you. But it's best to keep a low profile after you do so. The Cult will take a great interest in you." He said.

I smirked.

"Friend, don't worry too much about me keeping a low profile." I spoke with that, you know, arrogant tone but with the humour sense in it.

He bowed his head to me.

"Very well. I'll take my leave. Thank you for your time..."

* * *

He left without much fuss. Still had no idea what he was on about it. Crusaders of Verity...Cult of Slaughter. Sounds like two rival factions vying for the same thing. I know how this works. It's like the Civil War, they all want the same goal in the end. I'll side with Torvan for now, but his group better not get up to any funny stuff. I put the ring on for kicks and tested it out myself. Didn't feel or see anything, so it must depend on my legitimate need and nothing forced. One of those more advanced and complicated enchantments. Okay then.

Brynjolf came out soon after, with coin overflowing in a sack as he jingled them to me. More than we can count. Dang, that loot was definitely worth it.

"What would we actually do with that, anyway?" I wondered out aloud.

He shrugged.

"Don't know. Invest in retirement? Maybe, a house?"

I rose an eyebrow.

"A house? Seriously Bryn? You're thinking about that already?"

He gave me his gorgeous little grin.

"You honestly never thought of your own future lass?" He questioned.

I face palmed.

"I was hoping for peace and quiet. I wouldn't have..."

Wait...

Why did I come to Skyrim again?

"Lass...?"

I never thought about it that much. I'm mostly in the here and now and never think that far ahead. Nor do I think THAT far back. So much has occurred lately, that it never crossed my mind and...

"Petra...?"

I looked up at Brynjolf who was being worried as always. I smiled. Thanks for breaking my trail of thought.

"Actually I would have become a..Companion. Noisy brutes. The lot of them."

Brynjolf chuckled as we began our leave from the city.

"A Companion? I once contemplated myself you know. I was an angry child, needing to let off steam. But being...a thief, now that's something I found challenging." He mentioned.

I'm glad he did.

"But right now, I think we can use a bit of this coin to restock your arrow supply."

Ahh the man after my own heart. No, I'm pretty sure he already had stolen it prior. Heh.

* * *

We got my arrows and were at the stables before we knew it, grabbing our horses again and on the everlasting track to Ustengrav. Still a nice, Skyrim day out in the tundra yet again. Even so, the quiet trip there left me a lot to think about and a lot to take in.

All I remember was waking up on that carriage to Helgen, with my head going on the block. I was with Ulfric Stormcloak and a bunch of others. I hadn't said much because I was totally perplexed as to what was going on. I had no recollection of previous events and was...I don't...I don't know.

But now that question was just...forever...in my head you know? Why...why did I come here? What was the reason I came here? I was fine in Cyrodiil. Did...did I come here for a reason? A request? I wasn't...I didn't...

It was giving me a headache just thinking about it. That cloud of doubt was raining on me again. Just like it had been for my real destiny as Dragonborn. Had I been drawn here spiritually? I wouldn't have known just...come here...

"Somethings on your mind lass, I can tell." Brynjolf called out to me.

I shouldn't lie to Brynjolf. No.

"Just...why did I did I come to Skyrim in the first place if I was happy living with my parents in Cyrodiil?" I asked. Although happy varied. Boring work, but I was healthy and alive.

He looked at me strangely.

"Mother land? We all love our land lass. It's as beautiful as it is tough. Reminds me of someone..."

Oh Gods Bryn, don't make me blush.

"Uh...yeah...yeah. But hear me out...I know when I was on the farm I had plans to visit Skyrim, just to know, see what it was like. But I'm certain that's not the reason I am here."

He nodded.

"Alright then. Someone influenced you? Someone told you to come here maybe? Your mother? Father?" He wondered.

I shook my head.

"No...no. I don't remember them even encouraging me to come here. They're good people Bryn, they just wanted me to stay on the farm, safe."

Bryn looked forward.

"The only thing I can think of is your status lass. It drew you here. But if you're thinking that's not a good answer then I don't know myself."

I don't remember if I told Brynjolf the whole story of Helgen.

"I was at Helgen when the dragon attack and just desecrated it with fire and storm. So I turn up to Skyrim for the first time, and I was welcomed by that!" I pointed out.

Brynjolf nodded. Couldn't see if he was surprised though.

"I'd been caught and was about to have my head cut off. Had...had I done something that just warranted me to...commit a crime...no, they thought I was a Stormcloak." I called out, remembering how mixed up in it I was in.

He blinked.

"They thought...that? We heard news that Ulfric was captured. Were you part of that?" He assumed.

I sighed.

"Yeah. It turned out that he was the guy sitting next to me with his mouth gagged as we were being escorted. Everything about that just seemed...planned or at least very coincidental."

Brynjolf scratched his chin.

"Aye, I can't imagine coming here just to get in the wind of it. So you the Dragonborn, comes back to Skyrim...as well as Ulfric. Your heads were going to the block and a Dragon arrives. You survive. I agree with you there. Just...doesn't bode well."

I gritted my teeth.

"I didn't know I was Dragonborn then! That's the worst part! Back then I thought I was just some ordinary girl just looking for something better in life...I don't know." I whined.

He looked at me again with that damned smile of his.

"We all dwell on the past lass. You can't put that up there alongside the choices the Gods made for you?" He suggested.

I could if I tried.

"I do want to just focus on the present. The future depresses me and the past just confuses me. Planning ahead is fine but...you have to make do with adjustments if it goes wrong. What choices to make, what sacrifices to make." I stated.

"At the same time, while you were inside the shop, I'd been talking with this odd man about some group called the Crusaders of Verity looking for me and just...wishing me luck?"

Brynjolf whisked a rogue strand of hair out of his face.

"Crusaders of Verity? Never heard of 'em." He stated. As Torvan said people would.

"Neither did I. All he did was offer cryptic advice about my future, this Verity ring that supposedly bolsters my defences magically, and something along the lines of cargo being dragged around by another group called the Cult of Slaughter."

I watched Brynjolf ponder.

"Name sound familiar?"

He shook his head and squinted.

"The Cult of Slaughter...I...may have heard that name before. Old group...said to worship the Dragons themselves. More modern, but said to be descendants of the old Dragon Priests."

Hence, the Slaughter tag.

"See, you know more than this Torvan guy did. He says his master was still checking it out. Some Mystic she is. Probably fake and doing it purely for the coin."

Brynjolf chuckled.

"Aye, I know what that's like. Did he tell you what was in the package?"

I rubbed my head.

"No. Again, he speaks in riddles for his 'master'. Trust me Bryn, nothing he said was ever clear to me. Some of it made sense, but ultimately, I wasn't sure I could trust him."

Brynjolfs eyes went straight to the ring on my hand.

"I wouldn't either. I wouldn't even be wearing that ring he gave you."

I just shrugged.

"Dunno he just seemed, while as complicated and poetic as he sounded, he predicted what I would do...or his mystic told him what would happen and that he could work his way around it."

Bryn nodded.

"I can definitely see why that would be of an advantage. Just don't let them manipulate you."

I smirked.

"Don't worry. There are plenty of mystics in the world that would most likely tell you the same. Snarky probably, but that's the best part of it."

* * *

It was nice to put those troubles aside for the moment. I wish I could relax in a hot spring and sooth my achingness. Too much walking lately. No, that normally doesn't affect me much. Probably stress. Still wanted to go into the hot springs however.

For now, something in the distance of the road caught my eye. A horse in carriage, and several figures in black robes sitting around it. As we got closer, the were holding something in a golden cage. Brynjolf recognised it as some of dwemer origin. Was pretty big too. No doubt it was them.

"Hey Brynjolf, let's just take down these fools and grab the prize eh?" I tempted him.

He grumbled.

"Lass, we're not bandits. If this is what you were talking about before then we need to approach them first and talk. If they're hostile, then feel free to kill them."

Torvan said I would need to stop them. Something about having the name, Cult of Slaughter doesn't exactly draw civility and negotiable traits now does it?

We went up closer, as the black figures saw us and went into offensive positions.

Told you so.

Half of them were spell casters, the others holding either greatswords or swords. Brynjolf used our swift tactics of arrows fresh from Whiterun. They spouted out weird curses of another language, more akin to Draconic if anything. But, they were no match for us and soon they were all pin cushions lying on the ground. We got inside the carriage to examine the dwemer box. It had to be opened by a specific key as Brynjolf had no luck in using his lockpicks. I ruffled around the corpses before I found one and handed it Bryn.

I was interested in this relic, what ever it was. Destroy it, sell it...didn't matter. I would expect gratefulness from the unknown Crusaders. Seemed like to have a bit of coin for themselves even. And Mystics pay well for good deeds done by them. Or, they'd rather be amused to watch events unfold rather than just, you know, telling them about it. The future would most likely be the same, regardless of the roads taken.

I had my heart set on something great as Brynjold opened the box. Though, the relic wasn't quite what we expected.

Brynjolf made one of those faces that just say, what? Am I seeing right?

I know because I was making one too.

"Is...that a Khajiit?" I queried, rather perplexed.

He nodded.

"Aye, but it's awfully...small...Dear Gods..."

He helped take the cat out. It was of black and slightly grey fur with bits of white tufts from it's ears and three sets of silver hoop earings, short white hair and wearing a dress of crimson, as well as an interesting pendant in the shape of a cat's head. He was right, it was...small and in deep sleep... Which meant...

"That's...a Khajiit child? They were smuggling in a kitten?" I spoke with disbelief.

Brynjolf shook his head.

"What in Oblivion..."

Thankfully we may be able to take her to a Caravan...if we could find one.


	45. The Khajiit Child Problem

**AN: Brynjolf chapter! And yes, more to do with the Khajiit they've just found. Read on!**

**Chapter 45**

**The Khajiit Child Problem**

In all my years, never much leaving Skyrim myself to go on various journeys, have I seen a sight such as this. It was banging in my head a little.

The Khajiit usually keep to themselves. And they were often scarcely seen besides the Caravans and the odd foreigner or two. They aren't trusted in society due to the stigma of them being rogues and thieves. But they make do with what they've got and I think they're used to it by now.

But why would any sane Khajiit bring their child here?

This is a horrible place for them to grow up in, to be scrutinised and mocked. This young lass...

When Petra told me about the Cult of Slaughter, I remember my father mentioning them to me as a group bent on giving order back to Skyrim. When you have a name like that, why would you trust them? But they were escorting this young one to where ever they were heading to and for what purpose, I wouldn't have a clue.

Petra also mentioned that the Cult were looking to consolidate power during our discussions. I took the cat out, but then she wanted to see if she was still alive. She'd confirmed that she was still breathing.

My only problem was that this was delaying our true goal here, but we'll put it aside for the safety of the child and to make sure she gets somewhere safe.

Petra took the girl on her horse and sat her in front of her, resting against Petra herself. She insisted as I made the suggest if she wanted me to carry the younger lass, but ended up with an angry response. I wasn't going to argue.

We had no idea where the Caravan was at this very moment. I'm not at all perfect with the details. Tonilia usually handles that, but I think if they weren't at Whiterun...then the group would have to be at Markarth.

Shor's Bones...I don't know if even that, was a good idea.

The Caravans were often left alone, I wouldn't imagine the Forsworn having any issue with the Khajiit, but they're often unpredictable in saying that. I expressed my concerns to Petra...she states that she knows that the leader, Ri'saad, can be trusted.

I still thought it was a bad idea. I wouldn't put the girl through so much. But this is Petra's journey, if she wants to do this then we'll do it. We would never dare leave anyone in the hands of those who include the word Slaughter in their name.

We rode down the paths taking us to Markarth. It was getting on later in the day into the shades of the evening, eventually being surrounded by steep mountains of stone and the juniper trees that were scattered throughout the Reach. We had to be on guard for any Forsworn that could take us by surprise.

While the roads themselves are susceptible to danger, as long as you have guards with you, you should be fine. The Forsworn prefer to stay in the hills...mostly.

I kept watch as Petra and I rode our horses side by side. It was going well until I started getting a headache. Those banging thumps in my head got worse. It seems...out of place but drawn up from somewhere. Don't know where it came from or what caused it. I carried on, but it just got stronger. Petra had to notice as I was rubbing my temples. The look on her face just screams it. But I hope she doesn't.

"Everything alright?" She asked me.

"Gah...just...getting these sharp pains. Don't bother asking me what the reason is...it just hurts."

I told her. This...wasn't normal at all.

I didn't want to worry her anymore, but this...was becoming a bit unbearable...

I then started hearing voices in my head, indecipherable. Is this what normally happens? Or is there magic nearby? Forsworn magic? Petra took lead of my horses and got us somewhere safe nearby to figure out what was going on.

She rested the Khajiit down as we nestled down and camped for the evening. I was amazed Petra was so insistent on setting the bed rolls down for the pair of us but not for herself. We were well covered and surrounded by rocky cliffs, allowing Petra to set a fire up safely.

I was in...no mood or state to move too much. But, the pain got worse and the voices got louder.

After Petra had settled to girl down, she came straight to me and kneeled down beside me with a small bottle of potion in her hand. My vision was blurry, but I can imagine the lass with the deeply concerned look on her face. I hated being a burden to her.

"Bryn? Here take it..." She whispered.

She made sure the bottle got in my hand. I was in a weakened state, but I felt her hand on mind as she was giving it to me. I could also feel her touching my arm, and my hand again, ensuring the bottle even got to my lips.

I swallowed it down, the taste numb and void. I felt a bit better, but the agony was still there.

I can't even begin to understand why it's just popped in out of nowhere like someone fired an arrow into my skull. I would have died yes...but...

I felt a warm, wet sensation on my forehead. My face reddened as Petra was just trying to give me the good old' kiss it better routine. I would feel worse, if she wasn't around.

The voices dulled a little bit...

It was...a similar sensation to the dream I had the other night. While I screamed for Petra, seeing her burn. I couldn't stand it. She was there with me still and I clung onto that. She then forced me to lay down, putting my hands on my chest. I tried to relax after that and closed my eyes which had been watering. My room to think decreased with every moment and almost drove me insane by it. But I fell into the deep sleep, temporarily forgetting about it for the moment.

* * *

It's dark again as always. Though I open my eyes to see the land as something...unusually flourished, young even. I am not wearing my normal thieves guild gear but some kind of armour, similar to what the Draugr often wore. Like...ancient nords...

I wandered around, the sun shining as I looked upon a prosperous land. But I wasn't in the reach...no rocky mountains...no juniper trees. Just, fresh, green trees everywhere on a flat ground of grass. Mountains dotted the horizon. I may have still been in Skyrim, but that, I am not...entirely sure.

A man in robes approaches me. Brown in origin, dirty but adorned with jewels and wearing a mask of unknown detail. I wasn't...I wasn't even sure what was going on. But the man wordlessly lead me across the grassy plains. It wasn't making me comfortable as I saw similarly dressed me ordering around other people, nord people as they built some kind of temple.

I almost lost my balance as a large dragon flew overhead. I brought out my sword as it swerved around and landed right in front of me.

The dream was vivid, as the dragon itself was an unusual breed and colour. It's scales glittered with an amethyst shine, it's face less harsh and pointed than any dragon i've seen yet and it's eyes were lit with a white glow.

"Hmm...Ahnok hahnu rovaniik. Greetings dream strider..." He bellowed out to me. It was surprising to see a dragon calm and willing and not trying to kill us. I'd call it refreshing.

Yes...this dream is absolutely vivid. And now this violet dragon talks to me. Can anything be stranger?

"The voice calls you to the Zoor, the legend of the past." He spoke mystically.

Voice? Must have been the voices I was hearing earlier.

The dragon itself looked at me as if it knew me. I don't know any giant purple lizards as far as I'm aware.

"The Dovahkiin must take haste and look after the Kaaz, the Khajiit that you are camped with."

He explained to me.

So the start of this troubles were called for by this little girl? Didn't make any sense, but if this happens when you're around her, no wonder the Cult found her so valuable.

"Can to explain what's going on big guy?" I asked him.

He lowered his head to me.

"Krosis...a time that is running short. They are after you."

I looked around, suspicious and confused.

"After me? Who's after me? And more specifically, what do they want with me?"

"The three of you together, mulaag, they have eyes and ears everywhere. And they would want me to take you."

No dragon will take me. Not until my last breath.

"You haven't told me why."

He growled.

"I would have come to claim you for myself, given the chance. But the girl has opened my eyes to see what there needs to be seen. Unfortunately for my fellow dovah, they will not see clearly as I do."

I rubbed my head.

"So these...dovah are after me too? Wouldn't they be after the Dragonborn?" I wondered.

He scanned the land around us. Construction on stonework everywhere. Some, stories were being created with pictures.

"The Dovahkiin is critical as there are a few who prefer not to side with Alduin himself. Those who had seen through the treachery and abandoned the role our father Akatosh gave him all those years ago." The dragon stated.

I crossed my arms. Seems like the dragons were sentient and had several factions. I keep on forgetting that they're rather intelligent. When their pride wasn't standing in their way.

"I am currently violating my tenets as we speak. Unslaad Krosis. The currents of time are being watched. I only brought you here so we could speak. I cannot guarantee the next time we meet will be on civil grounds. Take the Kaaz with you, for it will not be long until they find her again. Their numbers, Tokaan naram."

* * *

I woke up shortly after, headache suddenly gone. It was still night as I looked up at the stars above. Unsure of how much time has actually passed. I heard more whispers though, brief and accented. I turned to see...the khajiit girl sitting on her knees, and her hands clasped together in prayer and eyes closed. Her...lips moved quickly. I sat up and observed her and looked around to find Petra. Was she aware of what was going on?

"The one you call Petra is down by the river nearby." She spoke out, her voice slightly higher and less gravely than what you'd hear from another female khajiit.

"I was simply giving you the prayer to feel better. I called upon Kenarthi, to rid the spirits plaguing your body. But in this case, the spirits were warm."

Most Khajiit I've met never cared for religion. Probably why we got along so well.

"Aye...the headache I had was...strange. Came out of nowhere."

The cat nodded.

"Cold spirits differ from warm. The cold are the causes, but yours went from cold to warm."

I'd translate that as going from bad to good? I don't know. I'm never good at this stuff.

Petra came back soon after with a smile on her face. I stood up from where I was and smiled right back at her.

"Oh thank the Gods you're alright!" She called out to me, hugging me.

"I wasn't sure what was going on when she got up. I wasn't paying attention and suddenly she was awake and touching your head. I got a bit...antsy but we quickly worked out our misunderstandings and now that you're awake, I say thanks for helping. I think." Petra exclaimed.

Did...the khajiit actually cure my headache? Or was this what the Violet Dragon was talking about. So many strange things happening lately. It was making my head spin more than all the stuff with Nocturnal and the Nightingales.

I then saw the Khajiit stand up and clamp onto Petra, hugging her and rubbing her face. I rose an eyebrow and looked at Petra, who had an nerved expression. But just told me, nonverbally not to ask.

"Now that Papa is okay...I need to...understand what's going on here."

Papa? Petra must have given her bad ideas. But I'll trust her decision in doing so, if it helped out.

Petra and I spoke with the girl. Named Ayisha and how she was kidnapped by strange men in robes from her home in Elsweyr.

They'd gone all the way down to kidnap a child, and brought her to the north? Didn't make any when Petra explained that we were taking her to a Caravan that could look after her, the little lass didn't want to.

And from that dream, nor did I want to, for what ever advice that Dragon gave me was.

"Mama...I feel safer with you. Can't I come along?' Ayisha pleaded.

Petra's eyes were on me, trying to read me once again. I know she was hesitant and scared for the child, but. I couldn't say much. If I did, Petra would state that it wasn't anything real to be worrying about. I think I'm getting a superficial headache this time...

"Wouldn't you feel safer if you were with your own kind?" Petra asked her.

Ayisha shook her head.

"I might be small but I'm not at all useless. They call me unique."

Petra and I exchanged glances.

"Not useless? In what way lass?" I asked her.

The cat fiddled with the pendant she was wearing.

"The shaman gave me this necklace when I was born. Told me I was special. Thats why the men were after me. They may have been after my necklace." Aysiha continued.

What use would a Dragon Cult want with a cat pendant? I wondered.

"They said, the foretold of my greatness and granted me the official sacred badge of office, so they called it. Don't know what it means, but it protects me." She said with a smile.

Not enough to stop her from getting kidnapped, obviously.

No one but the Khajiit themselves knew enough of their peculiar culture. This was an upfront experience for both Petra and I.

"If you say so..." I called out.

"I'll trust the lass, Petra. But this is your call."

Petra sighed. She didn't want to bring kids into this, but...we might not have a choice.

"Alright...just...don't get in our way." She said begrudingly.

And with that, she squeezed Petra tighter, almost leaving my woman out of breath.

* * *

We slept some more, but part of that made me awake still for some time.

I turned and tossed, unable to sleep, then part of me saw Petra and Aysiha sharing the same bed roll. If it'd help. I was envious. They already got that close? She could have been missing her mother and needed someone to let her know it was alright.

But, to be safe, I took my roll and placed it next to Ayisha, so she could have enough room. Well, the both of them. That way I could look at Petra's face, which her eyes were half-strained but the rest of her face was soft enough. She was laying on her side, on her arm and her other arm wrapped around Ayisha. I wouldn't have guessed Petra being the motherly type but if she's willing as they curled around each other like that. I couldn't help but smile.

The Violet Dragons words rung true in the end that we were taking her with us. Didn't take Petra too much to argue before quickly being convinced of the fact. I think she had already gotten attached to her. She's needs to be quick to defence if I decide to annoy her about it. In a playful way of course.

We'd already decided and this pit stop was just, useful, but heading to Markarth was no longer a viable option. We could keep heading down the path then leading up to the way that takes us near Morthal again. Gods know what this child would do once we get there. I doubt any of us had thought that through properly.

But we were also on the run. Unknowingly. This Cult were after me. What makes me so special? Ayisha and Petra have more notable qualities than I do. Hm...it's a thought that'll linger in my head for days. Probably the dragons intention. What bothers me is why is the Cult coming back after all these years? Hopefully things will develop and they'll be revealed to us.

I'm not that...unique either. I cheat, steal and all that racket. I'd betting association but...now that we've got the girl, the Cult will try the means to get her back.

Thank Nocturnal we're all creatures of the night.


	46. Ustengrav

**AN: Glad you like the diversion. Good because things here will look interesting and...darker yet again. But yeah more Khajiit culture! And Angst!  
**

**Chapter 46**

**Ustengrav**

I'm starting to worry about Brynjolf.

His little headache in the Reach made cause for concern. It was spontaneous. Random and Bryn never normally gets them. He'd tell me about them...I think. My heart jumped as he blacked out several times until I was finally forced to make us camp out for the night until I was sure he was okay.

I did what I could. I'm...I don't know. His face was red and he struggled to move as I had laid him down to rest on his bed roll. His eyes were glazed as I assisted him in drinking a healing potion that might help ease the pain. He'd given me a smile to me he know he was still there. Bless his heart Talos. I kissed him on his forehead, you know the classic 'kiss it to make a it feel better' motherly vibe?

With Ayisha with us now, uncertainty had arisen. She'd woken up and cried out for her mother. Poor thing was so scared, but I had taken to looking after her and let her know that her mother wasn't here, but I would be taking her to a Caravan that would bring her back to Elsweyr. She calmed down eventually as I'd sat her back down and gotten her something to eat.

I told her my name, she told me hers and then asked her questions in regards to why was she here and how she got here. With a few sniffles, she told me that mean nords took her from her home, and brought her here to Skyrim. I wondered what for, she said that all she was doing was that she was a Priestess of the Moons, well, a Priestess in training, to learn the ways of her people. But nothing that would warrant a kidnapping of a trainee.

However, Ayisha spoke of whispers being told around her when she wasn't there. How that her mother and father had raised her, and that she was the sole cub in her litter and picked on by the other kids. I frowned, the girl had already put up with enough. And kidnapping wouldn't bode well with anyone.

She was in a strange land and just wanted to go home. She started crying again and I assured her that I was going to take care of her until she would be with her own people. It was then she took notice of Brynjolf, laying down in a fitful rest. She looked at me with sorrowful eyes, but also curious to the tongue and wondered who that man was.

"That's...my friend Brynjolf. He's not feeling very well. He should be fine in the morning." I told her.

She tilted her head at him and squinted.

"He...he has cold spirits within. He is fighting off the cold. We need the warm spirits to fight them off."

It took me a while to figure out that this was part of her religious fervour. Perhaps a cultural notion that I may never understand. I honestly thought that she wanted me to take him closer to the fire.

I went along with it.

"Ah I see. So, how do we conjure the warm spirits to fight them off then?" I asked her

She got up and wandered over to him. I watched her go on her knees and press her...paws...hands...yeah her hands together. A prayer?

"Ayisha will call upon Khenarthi...Goddess of the Winds. I was taught that you Nords call her Kyne, or Kynareth and blesses us with the gifts of healing. Her breath gives life."

I nodded. I found it impressive that for her age, what ever it was, she was learning about all this. They must teach them very early. I had looked at Brynjolf's face, who must have been dreaming heavily. I cradled his face, touching the bristles of his beard. Please be okay.

"Are you...a mama?" Ayisha asked me out of the blue.

Don't know what prompted that but...

"No...sadly I don't have time for children. No offence." I told outright.

She bowed her head.

"You touch this man like my mama touches papa. You must love this man very much."

Very...observant of her, surprisingly. Although yes, it is an obvious sign, but I wouldn't have expected someone of her age to know of these things. I am currently severely underestimating her.

No sense beating around the bush about it.

"Uh yes. Yes I do. Sounds like your mama and papa do as well."

Ayisha nodded.

"Mama and Papa don't know I'm here. I don't know how I got here. I know I am in Skyrim. But I have no way to contact them to let them know I'm okay." She stated with sadness.

I sighed. Problems like mine can be dealt with. But Ayisha...was just a child. I can imagine how terrifying it is for her at the moment to be so far away. I can imagine how terrifying it his for her parents, who would be incredibly upset and extremely worried for their daughters safety. I'm wanting to know more about this Cult myself, but I don't want to agitate Ayisha more than she needs to.

Sigh, only if Brynjolf would help out. Neither of us are relatively good with children...even when the orphanage was just in Riften. But I didn't want to subject her to Grelod. She was better off with the Caravans who may just give her the chance to go home.

"Petra?" She called out to me, as rubbed her hands with a strange powder.

"Yes?" I replied.

"Mama and Papa are too far away and you have warm spirits around you, always. You are guided by the warm spirits of Alkosh, if that's what the other priestess once told me."

I blinked. Alkosh, Alkosh...why does that sound familiar?

"Tell me more about this...Alkosh. He a god?"

Ayisha nodded.

"He is the Dragon King of Cats and Time. He protects the Khajiit people."

I smirked. Dragon...time. The fact that Alkosh rhymes with it. Made sense.

"So you Akatosh?" I asked.

"Yes." She replied.

"Alkosh is revered in many of our ancient cultures. You...your own being with the warm spirits that continue to burn. You are...like the Mane of the Nords."

If she means Dovahkiin then yeah that was me.

"I'm impressed you can sense that. Is that part of your training?"

Ayish grinned.

"The Priestesses as well as the Clan Mothers teach us to live in harmony with the spirits and the knowledge of the Lunar Lattice stories that guide us. That can help us survive."

* * *

Ayisha and I must have talked for most of the night. But her culture knowledge was amazing. How the story of the birth of the Gods were made. Quite an interesting tale from a race we hardly know anything about. But I felt a connection between us growing and to what ever I was feeling, it was akin to developing friendship.

But during that, she'd asked me that because her mother and father were gone, that if she could call me her mama for now and that Brynjolf was to be Papa. I wasn't entirely, comfortable with it. It seemed silly, but if it gave her comfort and seclusion then why am I to turn it down? Don't know if Brynjolf would have agreed.

I got some water as the night went on. Ayisha began her prayers to help Brynjolf rest easy and smite away any of those cold spirits that she was talking about. I may have lied to Bryn later on when I said that she was suddenly up and touching his forehead. But we talked and she ended up pressing a thumb on his forehead and her chants were from another language.

I washed my face, feeling refreshed. My mind was all about Brynjolf and stressing about him more than I should have been. My head says he'll be fine, my heart just worries and my spirit's just aching to tell me that it's rather suspicious. Don't know which to trust.

I came back, and felt relieved as Brynjolf had awoken. We'd spoke about what occurred. And negotiated what we needed to do. When I made comment about handed Ayisha to the Caravan, she suddenly told us that she felt safer with me. I didn't know...and I wasn't sure. We'd been in Markarth tomorrow anyway but she was insistent. I didn't blame her...the roads weren't as safe as they used to be. I gave in and just let her tag along with for the ride. But now I had somebody else to keep an eye on.

I don't know if she reckons we're going to head all the way down to Elsweyr. I wish we had time, but sadly it the issue of running around, defeating Dragons was more important than that. I really wish she hadn't convinced me to take her. If she was left with the Caravans they would have taken her home safely, but she stuck by us.

I woke up with Ayisha in my arms, and Brynjolf close by, keeping watch. Ayisha was still asleep, but the way she purred warmed my heart greatly. He was awake and smiling as he was on his side looking at me. I blushed as he gave me an interesting expression, considering how I was holding the young Khajiit in my arms.

So that day we rode through a detour to Ustengrav. I kept watch on Brynjolf. He seemed okay, but even then, he was distant, off with the Spriggans. I wanted to open my mouth to ask what was wrong, but...

Don't know. I really don't. I wanted him close, I wanted him near me. I don't...

Please Talos..._don't.._.

* * *

We rested somewhere for the moment, to give Ayisha a break and something to eat for lunch. She was a growing girl. I know...that of the basis children tend to get tired a lot easier. Or something like that. I'm not a mother myself but. I'm currently stressing out as one. I didn't want to take the girl to Ustengrav with us because Talos knows that what ever is in there isn't going to be pretty. I'd imagine the undead scattering about and that's just no place for a girl to be.

"Ayisha, listen to me. Papa and I are going to a place where there are plenty of monsters and I don't want you to get hurt or scared." I told her.

She shook her head.

"It's okay Mama, the Clan Mothers taught me several spells in case I ever needed to protect myself. But, I can also protect others. I have healing spells that I can use." She mentioned.

Healing spells were nice, but...

"Do you know anything else? Did they teach you to fight?" Brynjolf asked her.

She nodded.

"I know some destruction spells, but they also taught me some illusion spells too. Invisibility being one of them."

Brynjolf and I looked at one another. She was like some kind of Shadow Priest or Stealth Priest?

Seriously, she just kept blowing me away with all of this...knowledge.

"Alright...but don't get too far behind."

At last we made it to Ustengrav, the resting place of Jurgen Windcaller, founder of the Greybeards. Like most of the nordic mounds, it had its ancient aura, calling out to me. Either that or the wind's just strong. Ayisha shivered, noting the cold spirits that haunted this place.

The place was filled with Necromancers, bizarrely battling it out with Draugr. The three of us stuck to the shadows as we navigated our way through the crypts, unsure of what we're dealing with. Ayisha took a few trinkets, as what was expected. No we didn't tell her to nor did we want to ask. We all did it anyway.

While keeping ourselves away from harm all this time, we did take down a few skeletons before it got quiet, the traps themselves easy to beat or avoid. We'd come out to a more open area, more skeletons and treasures that laid within. There were a few times that Ayisha made herself invisible if it did get a bit difficult.

We then came across an interesting puzzle. A set of stones, three in total, inscribed with unusual runes were spread across. We walked passed and they turned red as we wandered by. We linked them to the set of locked gates nearby. But the stones only seemed to light up when I walked passed. Must have been my role as Dragonborn. I assumed.

I got frustrated as I tried to think up ways of getting passed. It then clicked...

"_WULD!"_

I made all the gates open at once, then flipped a switch to made sure they stayed that way. The others followed, while I smirked. Though more traps were laid ahead, we made sure to sneak by them as much as we could. I killed some spiders, then went down another path.

We'd made it to the main chamber, so it seemed. A path way in the middle with pools of water. Statues raised up from beneath the pools themselves as a display laid before us. I walked up to the strange display, the text on the coffin written in Daedric for some reason.

But the resting place didn't have any horn I saw, but only a note. I read the note, saying something about a attic room at Riverwood Inn. What?

"Mama, something's wrong with Papa!" I heard Ayisha call out.

I turned around as Brynjolf was on his knees, shaking as he held his head, grinding his teeth. I tucked the note away and ran towards him. Not again.

I placed my hands on his shoulders, trying to get in eye contact with him.

"Brynjolf? Bryn speak with me! Please!"

Ayisha stood back a little.

"This room...the spirits are like ice! Mama..."

Bryn continued to struggle with what ever was going on in his head. He grunted through it, muttering something under his breath repeatedly. I knew something else was going on, but I had no idea what it was.

"**BRYNJOLF!**" I yelled. Dear Gods no...

Suddenly he whacked me and sent me flying back. I fell over but winced in pain. Ayisha ran to me, trying to comfort me. I told her told to go invisible and to stay clear as I dealt with what ever the Oblivion was happening to him. She did so, disappearing and running off elsewhere. And in that moment Brynjolf charged at me, with pure hatred in his face. His eyes...his eyes were dead black. I felt warm tears rolling down my cheeks. No...just no.

"Brynjolf! You in there? Get a hold of yourself!" I cried out. This definitely wasn't him.

He pulled out his blade, and in that I quickly brought out Chillrend and defended myself as he swiped at me. Veins were popping out of his face. He leaned over, his teeth continuing to grind as I felt the power of his fury towards me. Like Ayisha said, this was just...filled with powerful cold spirits...one might be possessing him.

"_**Dir Dovahkiin!**_" He roared at me. His voice, deep, echoing and hellish, filled my heart with dread. That was definitely not Brynjolf in there.

"Get OUT!_ FUS RO_!" I shouted.

Bryn was sent flying, back hitting against he wall, knocking him out.

I puffed and panted, scared, confused, worried and angry at the same time. No...I don't...

I felt Ayisha grab my hand. I was glad she was okay.

"The spirits..." She whispered. "They've fled..."

I sighed with relief before running towards Bryns unconscious body and picked him up, draping his arm over my shoulders. Gods, I keep forgetting how heavy the man is.

Ayisha guided me to a secret exit nearby that lead us out of the tomb...

* * *

I placed Brynjolf down yet again. I sat by his body with crossed legs, watching his face. Again...again this happened and I have no idea what to do. He didn't complain of a headache like yesterday. What ever happened, it was far stronger than before.

But I knew something was up. Something was happening and I needed to get to the bottom of it. Brynjolf...he means the world to me...I couldn't...I wouldn't...please Bryn, I love you...

I started weeping. I couldn't stand to see him like this. I had to do something, but what...

Tell me Bryn, what's going on? Surely you must know. Surely you have to know. Something in that mind of yours? Something that, I may have heard you whispering in your sleep...but that...your eyes. You weren't you...please JUST...

A warm, furry hand filled mine again. Ayisha. Bless her. She'd sat next to me, resting her head on my arm. Someone who knew my pain and saw it there with me. I had to ask.

"What's your thought on this?" I queried.

She pondered.

"Hmm...not sure. The spirits were fearsome, almost...like Alkosh himself empowered him. But not of the same soul-flesh as you. Riddle'thar has not revealed anything to us. Ayisha fear ssomething more beastly and foul is afoot. Ayisha can give him prayers, but training has yet to be completed. Papa will not have full protection. Must find Clan Mother...or other magical teacher."

I worried if this was going to keep happening each time. It was going to be unpredictable no matter what. I certainly didn't want it to keep this way.

"Ayisha, do what you can. Thank you. I can't go on without knowing the full story of all this."

As Ayisha recited her prayers, I began to think of what this was about. Brynjolf was never one to be involved in anything specific. He never mentioned anything until Ayisha arrived. I can't blame her, she's just a child. Even then, Bryns words were draconic so it definitely involved the dragons themselves or what ever.

I still had the issue of finding the horn. I'd forgotten someone else had taken it, due to my full focus on Bryn. I had to help him. I wanted him to recover. And I just...Bryn...

I was going to figure this out for Brynjolfs sake. I...I just...needed Bryn to see to understand. To know and behold the truth in his heart. He wouldn't attack me like that, he just wouldn't.

Then I thought back to my conversations with Torvan. Dark times loomed overhead. He warned me about the package. But...I just...

Sorry friend. I need to think. Too much to think about.

Thanks though. To you and Ayisha.


	47. Barely There

**AN: More angst and stuff**

**Chapter 47  
Barely there**.

I was lost in the sea of darkness. Dramatic as it sounds. But the light soon fades and I have trouble getting out. I'd never felt so alone...

The last thing I saw was Petra, and the last thing I felt was the headaches returning.

I then wake up again with Petra and Ayisha over me, Petra saddened and tearful. I want to hug her, I do. But...then again, I'm so confused.

The headache is gone for now. But looking back, I heard voices chanting at me in a strange language. But now as I look at Petra, I hear nothing but her cries. I hugged her, letting her hug me back in a tight squeeze, also with the little Khajiit lass embracing me as well.

To be honest I am afraid. I am afraid of myself and what I will do. I don't want to hinder Petra's quest and if this happens again I don't know what I'll do.

My heart aches and my head hurts slightly, but otherwise there are no voices beside my own and Petra's whimpers. I love her too much to see her cry for me. The last thing I want do is hurt anyone, especially the lass. I hold her and Ayisha and it's terrifying. I want to let them know that it was okay and I wanted to be fine. But we don't know what'll happen if...

I needed to let her go to discover what was going on with me and it'll break my heart if I do. But Ayisha compels me to stay. Her chants seem to be only temporary spells of sorts, calling on Khajiit deities or something to protect me.

Petra insists on finding out the problem, together before it gets worse. No...I don't want her to. I may have to find it on my own. She needs to care about getting the horn, since she showed me the note that was left there before...

According to the note, we had to go off to the sleepy town of Riverwood to rent an attic room at the inn there. Not quite sure what that meant, but after confirming I was fine, we decided to take the horses there.

The trip's silence indicated that Petra herself was deeply concerned. I don't want her worrying about me. She doesn't deserve this. No one does. I just hope...well, I know its the second time the headache itself became so strong that it went dark.. I had a feeling Petra knew more than she was currently letting on. The quiet atmosphere was also riddled with tension so thick you can smell it.

The lass doesn't want to say it because she doesn't want to acknowledge the issue, afraid of what I'll do if she tells me. She cried over me blacking out...no she had cried about something else.

The last thing I want is to be a burden on her. I would never forgive myself if I tried to hurt her. I don't want to cause any more pain, after what she's been through. She's always like that. She was good at it for other people but it was easy for me to see through. Yet again as we crossed the tundras of Whiterun, she had her lips shut tight as she rode in front of me, with Ayisha sitting in front of her.

Petra wouldn't let me see her face, knowing I would read it and ask questions. I really wanted to know what happened after I blacked out, but she just...wouldn't...say anything.

Aye and this was my business. It's not something you can shove underneath a rug like dust and forget about it. This was serious. If I had said or done something while I was blacked out, I need to know, in order to figure out what I had to do next.

The lass's journey is more important than me. I'm just a ragtag nobody rogue from the criminal underworld. I've never desired being special nor do I want to. Petra makes me feel that way and she's the only one who can.

There's a discrepancy on to whether I had an aptitude for this line of work any more. I'll admit after the whole Mercer incident I've had a dark cloud of doubt raining over my head. But when I first made love to Petra, it went away like a forgotten nightmare. We were lost in the ocean of passion and to each other. When we hold each other in that total embrace it's nothing I'd ever felt before.

When someone makes you feel that way, you don't let them go. For which my consideration to abandon her just...wrenches my heart greatly. I'd be left a hollow figure without knowing where she was or what she was doing. She was our hope to survive in this world and it's key to the lock on the world. Soft I know but that's just how it is.

My talk with Arngeir didn't help as we discussed my father. Just made me feel pissed off that his teachings actually paid off and that he was right all along. But to force me to partake in lessons I cared nothing about just made it repulsive but it managed to get stuck in my mind whether I liked it or not.

Notably, the Cult of Slaughter, he taught me about them. They were a group out to seek power but you'd never see any historical books of them at all. They must have been a recently created group, or an ancient society that's even more of a secret and contains more secrets regarding the Dragons.

I would definitely investigate the matter. If I ever get in contact with Arngeir, I'll have to ask him more questions...

* * *

We made it Riverwood in one piece. Ayisha and I stayed outside while Petra went into then inn, hoping to find this mysterious horn that was taken from Ustengrav. Ultimately felt like a waste of time going there...but Petra wasn't going to take something being stolen lightly. Irony has never tasted so bitter.

But she wasn't mad at anything. Her face had gone stiff and void. Emotionless. She was trying so hard to not let her worries roam wild. I knew it, Petra knew it. But she was focused on her own problems right now and her duties are more important than mine.

Ayishand I went and sat by the nearby river. She crossed her legs and smiled as the stream gushed by while I sat on a tree stump, slouched over with my mouth behind clasped fingers, as my elbows leaned against my knees. Riverwood always felt too relaxed for me. I can see it is peaceful and one of the more beautiful towns in Skyrim.

"Mama won't say much...but she worries about you. A lot." Ayisha told me.

"And the cold spirits were circling you again Papa. Mama's mouth does not open, but her tears have much to say."

Damnit. I didn't want her to. She's had enough. I just don't...

"Tell me Ayisha. What did I do? Did...did I hurt her...or you?" I asked her. I had to know.

"Mama wouldn't want me to say, but...you were not you. The spirits were angry and you had the tongue of the dragon." She continued.

Tongue of the dragon? Was...was I speaking draconic?

"Why would I do that?" I wondered. Why would I? I hardly know it.

"Ayisha does not know. Do you love Mama?" She asked me.

She looked at me, her eyes like crystals. Similar to Petra's. Except...more cat like.

"Of course I do. And I say that with pride." I told her.

She lowered in head, making me wonder what was she was doing. She clasped her hands together in prayer once more.

"The Mother Cat, Mara, would take care of the passion in your heart, the love of one another as she tends to the red strings of yarn that joins you both. Your love makes you who you are. Your red string is not broken, simply untied and put aside as you become a vengeful being, like Merrunz."

I wouldn't imagine myself wanting to hurt Petra for any reason at all. I've felt nothing but compassion for her since day one.

"You're saying I'm...possessed, young lass?" I questioned.

She shrugged.

"Mama would not tell you because her love for you is strong and in denial of this self. The cult you spoke of...they spoke of terrible things...ugly things. They took me to do them. The spirits around you have the same aura. Ayisha cannot predict what they would want with you. But it may be the soul that lives with you. The same soul that takes over you. It is not friendly like Mama's soul-father, the Dragon King of Cats that protects her and birthed her soul."

I furrowed my brow. The Cult? Wants me? Of all people? I'm...I'm not.

"Let me get this straight. Because of this aura that's similar to...the Cult, you think they're after me too?"

The Khajiit looked down as she fumbled with her fingers.

"Ayisha knows what she senses. Your tongue spoke dragon... the Cult is related to the Dragon Priests. Ayisha was just...making an astute observation."

I rubbed my temples. It was getting a bit much now. I needed to speak with Arngeir and fast. Or my father...who had taught me about the Cult.

"Alright got the horn. Let's get back to High Hrothgar." Petra came in, out of nowhere.

I stood up and turned to her, wanting to look at her face. Her face, still stiff from before, worried me more about this. I wanted to talk to her about it, but not while Ayisha was with us. I was angry at the fact she was hiding this from me.

* * *

The road back up was treacherous yet again as we went back to the monastery in silence. I knew what Petra didn't want to tell me and she was deliberately avoiding the subject. We went back to the inn in Ivarstead, rented a room and welcomed by a happy Wilhelm who greeted us when we got there that evening...

Petra left the premises as soon as we rented it, leaving me with Ayisha. How...selfish! What has gotten into that woman? I shook my head as I was left standing alone with the young lass.

Ayisha had asked me where she went. I told her outright that I didn't know and to let her be.

When it came to go to bed, Petra still hadn't returned. She better not have gone up to High Hrothgar on her own. I...I'm just so pissed off about the whole thing. I put Ayisha to sleep in the cabin and left the inn on the search for her.

The night was relatively cloudy, guards were wandering around town on their usual business, but I couldn't see Petra anywhere. I was assuming that she'd gone up, as I paraded around town, desperate to find her.

She'd been acting strange ever since we left Ustengrav. I had to know, I couldn't...I wanted to confirm Ayisha's story. Bless the young lass for telling me, but I needed to hear it from Petra's lips herself.

I eventually found her, sitting down and hiding behind the rock near the outside of town, close to the rapids. I sat down next to her as she looked over in the distance, not even acknowledging my prescence.

"Petra?"I said, trying to get her attention.

She instead looking down at the water, eyes so inherently locked on the rushing streams.

"Petra?"

Still response. I knew that look that something was beating her up inside.

"Ayisha...told me what happened. What's wrong with telling me outright what I did?"

Her lips quivered.

"Lass, she told me...that I was possessed. I was speaking like the dragons do. Confirm this for me..._please?_"

Tears ran down her cheeks. She was hiding that the entire time? Why couldn't she...

"I didn't want to believe it was you Bryn...I really didn't..." She answered, finally, her voicing shaking.

I got closer to her and tried to get her to look at me properly. My eyes were burning into her, but her focus on the water...she was still trying to hold back.

"_What...did...I...do_?" I asked her again.

She pursed her lips, eyes scrunching.

"_Petra_..."

She placed her hand on her face as she started to whimper.

"Petra do not _dare_ hide anything from me. I hurt you didn't I? Just say yes!"

She collapsed completely she was doing a bad job of containing her grief.

"You...had black eyes...shouted at me...tried to kill me. Telling me to die..."

So it was true. I...

"Lass...you must understand I would never hurt you..." I told her

As I tried to wrap my arms around her, she shoved me off.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" She screamed. The sound of the rapids pretty much covered it, considering how loud they were, or else the guards would think otherwise. But I was stunned at the sudden rejection and outburst.

"I know it wasn't you Brynjolf. I just...I just..."

She broke in tears all around me, her face buried in her hands.

"I'm really sorry lass..." I told her, voice faint.

"I don't want to lose you again Bryn...I don't want to be the one forced to kill you. I don't even know what's going on! I...I..."

I tried wrapping my arms around again and she didn't resist this time. She cried in my chest, as my stomach had that deep pit of sadness with guilt dwelling within it and my heart ached again. I didn't want this...and...

"If it's any help, Ayisha believes the Cult of Slaughter are after me...or what's within me..."

I told her. Not sure of it's any consolation, but it's worth a try. I mean, if the Cult are after me as she suggests, then there may be a valid explanation for it after all. Petra was puzzled initially, but she'll understand soon enough.

"Why? What's..." She whimpered between sniffles.

I rubbed her arm as she leaned her head on my shoulder.

"Ayisha said that the spirits that are around me, are similar to the ones that the Cult have. Plus the dragon language that I supposedly shouted, Put in the fact that they worship Dragon Priests. It's too much to be coincidence." I summarised.

She looked looked up with me with puffed eyes and red cheeks. I cleared the tears off with my thumb. She was so pleading and distressed by the whole ordeal.

"We'll go see Arngeir tomorrow. He might know what this is all about lass. And maybe know how to stop them?"

Her face was so soft...her eyes just stated she just doesn't want this to be true. She wanted me to be okay and I understand that completely. Who wants to be possessed? But as I gazed at her lips, I just wanted to kiss her. My heart was racing again, as my eyes became half-lidded and face moving closer towards hers.

"You know I love you right lass?" I whispered.

She nodded, as her face got closer to mine.

"I know...I love you too."

Our warm, moist lips touched and quivered under the desperation of each other wanting the other to be fine, okay and just ourselves for that moment. Her kiss is the only one I need..aye. It's one that's always the most memorable and enjoyable although our hearts raced, throats tighetened as we gave each other forced and anxious kisses, like each one was our last. Perhaps that's why we liked doing it, the intensity of each one was better than the last. We could have sat there forever, liking the taste of each others mouths. We parted reluctantly and pressed our foreheads together as we breathed, our breaths soft but then hard with nervousness. We both feared the loss of the other. She stood up from where we were and gave out her hand. She smiled briefly.

"I'm sorry Brynjolf. I just needed time to think. And I want to get this sorted as soon as we can. But I needed time to think...I couldn't figure out what to do." She told me.

I took her hand and jumped back up.

"I'm sorry too lass that I didn't have much to work out. If it wasn't for Ayisha, I might not have realised the connections. But, we can find out together...alright?" I told her.

Petra nodded...we climbed the rocks then walked back to Vilemyr Inn with her rubbing her arm against me and her head rested against it, as my arm wrapped around her shoulders. I know we fight, but I know that we'll still be worrying about the other in the times ahead.

"Thank the spiritually important young lady. Let's just go to bed okay?" I told Petra, kissing her on the forehead.

"Yeah alright alright. You know who had the horn? That innkeeper at Riverwood! How..."

We discussed Petra's little talk with the Innkeeper on how she stole the Horn. How she got passed the stones is beyond me. She might have a few shouts of her own. Petra stated she wasn't allowed to give me details on the terms of the woman's identity due to...reasons she may spill to me in private another time. Too many guards.

But as soon as we returned, Petra looked at Ayisha who slept comfortably. The smile on Petra's face was amazing. Aye, it just was so loving as she wandered over and tucked her in, only for Ayisha to grab hold of Petra's arm. I withheld a chuckle as Petra's eyes widened. Eventually, the both of us somehow got in the bed and tucked ourselves in without crushing the poor cat. But it was warm enough. I watched Petra as she patted the girls hair. Those warm fuzzy feelings returned. By Shor...tomorrow couldn't come quick enough.

Thankfully we all got to sleep rather peacefully.


	48. Lineage

**AN: Glad to hear you all like it so far. If any of you have any questions regarding the story at all, or the characters, let me know...can be anything. Obviously not future spoilers but like pointless trivia or what ever. But yeah, here's a chapter going back to Petra's fears and some revelations. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 48**

**Lineage**

I should have expected Brynjolf's reaction. But I just couldn't open my mouth. I'm a mess aren't I?

But its the least you should find from someone who loves you, and you are completely convinced that they aren't themselves. Ayisha sort of confirmed the details there for me, no matter how obscure the mystical observation was.

I worry about a relapse but I want make sure I stick with Bryn every step of the way, like he's tried so hard with me that I can't refuse returning the favour. I love him too much not to. I can't understand the full meaning behind it, but this Cult of Slaughter was our only lead.

We returned back to High Hrothgar the next day, taking little Ayisha with us. She smiled as she looked at the views, but then noted it got hard and tiring for her to keep walking up. Cute, I'd often forget she's a kid, since her mind is full of wonderful religious poetry and knowledge. Brynjolf just popped her up on his shoulders, shocking and astounding her as he beared the minor extra weight and gripped onto her tightly.

See, Brynjolf is too good of a person to become a monster. Life in the Thieves Guild doesn't change you, in brings out the desires you've always had. Want that piece of jewellery. Take it if you can. So it brings challenge and rebellion and an alteration of perception of the world around you. You are forever hiding yourself, but the thrill comes from the risk of exposure. The close calls...

I think this is similar in that regard. You aren't exactly breaking the law here but like the Guild, your perspective changes. As Dragonborn, absorbing souls becomes something normal to you, but you remember it causes and awe in each person who sees the events unfold before them. I've treated it as like any other mission...but with the world at stake I originally just didn't care, but now, I just want to know more about what I can do for the world. What I can do to just make sure the world is safe.

And to keep...the ones I love safe.

Still had trouble getting my mind to absorb and properly process the notion. To stare down into the immortal eyes of the dragons still gets me shaking and on my knees, but I know I'm more good about it, but then everything else gets in the way. But the main goal for me is to find out what it truly means to be Dragonborn. Even if I to have to ask a thousand people, I will use that consensus to help me find that very view and enact if possible.

Yeah I don't really know either...to truly know. You feel it, but you don't. It's hard to explain. You have the power built inside of you but I only know how to use a portion of it. When I shout, you feel the power rise up and explode like...it's supposed to be natural. So it's...considered normal. To me.

But when you face a dragon like I do, circumstances change. While I just lock down...other times I just kill it, and the flurry of emotions swims inside. I don't understand that at all. I'll have to talk to Arngeir about it. I wouldn't tell him of how I got the horn though. Some Breton named Delphine took it. She says shes part of a group who's been looking for me for a very long time and had assumed that eventually I would get the horn on behalf the Greybeards. Turns out she was the one with Farengar back in Whiterun after I got the Dragonstone and actually helped out. She complained that it's taken me months to get on it. I was reluctant to say what actually happened, but pretty much stated it'd been hard for me to understand. She wanted me to prove to her that I actually was Dragonborn and determined where the next one would be. She went ahead of me, but I had to return to the Greybeards first in order to complete the next step in my training.

She wanted me...to come with her...to kill a dragon, predicted to be risen near Kynesgrove. I faked confidence and told her I would meet her there soon enough. I had work to be done. She warned me not to take too long, but I would meet her there eventually.

I relayed my concerns with Brynjolf who mentioned that he'll help out as much as I can. I never...wanted to intentionally meet a Dragon...but...I don't know. I really want to understand what's going on but...

I know it's going to happen again. I'm going become pathetic and weak like every other time. Courage is eventually built, but well after many people of died. I didn't want to take responsibility of that. My heart beckons me...torn between sense of my destiny and sense of unsolicited fears. I can't stand it. I want to take action and I want to be able to do it...but I can't shake it off. It's hard...really hard...

* * *

When we made it up there, I presented the horn to Arngeir, who taught me the last word for Unrelenting Force...Da, which meant, push. who then gathered the others to help initiate me and to recognise me formally as Dragonborn. They warned Brynjolf and Ayisha to stand back as the procedure took place.

I stood in the middle of the monastery with the Greybeards surrounding. They all began to speak in the dragon language and shout at me. My eyes nearly popped out of my head and I almost fell over in the brunt of the shouts being blasted around me. The whole monastery shook under their speeches as Brynjolf held Ayisha close while they talked.

After they had finished, Arngeir had congratulated me on surviving the last test and had formally recognised me as Dragonborn.

"Does..that mean I have to seek out what I have to do on my own?" I asked him.

Arngeir shook his head.

"Of course not. We're always here to help out. Your training will continue."

With the word walls I'd already seen, I wondered if they were more out there.

"Is there anymore shouts that I can learn?" I questioned.

He nodded.

"There are plenty for you to learn. But, you must have patience. Learning them turn quickly will only cause disaster and trouble for misuse. Though most of these word walls are deeply contained in various places, fraught with danger. It might bode well with your training if you seek them out."

Brynjolf and Ayisha went outside to look outside some more, as I spoke with Arngeir...regarding my issues in private. We sat in the middle on our knees and meditated on our thoughts.

"You are...troubled Dragonborn. Speak your mind." He told me.

I sighed. I still have to admit my own reasons and conflicts within this. And it's shameful and embarrassing.

"I know Akatosh gave me this to defeat Alduin, but...as my heart demands it, my fear...often prevents me...holds me back." I said, out of confidence.

He looked at me strangely.

"Fear? Fear of what?" He wondered.

I clenched my fists in frustration.

"I...I...have a dragon phobia..." I whimpered out.

The Greybeard nodded. He didn't give off the type of vibe that was disappointed at all.

"Do you? That's...interesting. It does pose a problem. Tell me, how many dragons have you slain thus far?"

I tried to count...recalling those memories were painful. Western Watchtower, Two in the rift, Morthal...

"Four I've counted." I told him.

He stroked his beard as he was deep in thought.

"Have you had this before? As in, one of your encounters had affected you deeply?"

I told him the story of Helgen and the Western Watchtower. Both of those heavily influenced me greatly and just thinking about the blood, fire and chaos almost made me cry again.

"I...I've slain several after that. I couldn't do it. My nerves get the better of me...and I...I..."

I sobbed. Too much to handle as the very thoughts were making me sick. I felt something on my shoulder.

"It's alright...don't say any more. It's obvious on how much this is hurting you. Don't over do it..."

He assured me.

I nodded with haste and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"I've...talked with Brynjolf about this dozens of times...but...I want your opinion. Why was I chosen?"

Arngeir smiled.

"Akatosh became the father to your very spirit for a reason. There have been Dragonborn, few and far in between, like Tiber Septim of old. He too was a bit unsure of where his own destiny was laid out. Our predecessors guided him and he made it to Godhood in the end. It is often the ones want to improve to know when they are not sure. It is, the arrogant ones who are so sure of their power that they think they know everything. He knows that you are capable of learning quickly. The Gods don't make these decisions lightly."

I sniffed.

"So asking questions...it's not really seen as weak?"

Arngeir lifted his chin.

"The smart ones ask all the questions. They want a clear understanding of every thing they do and do not hesitate...because we will teach them. No one knows everything. And we will always seek to know more of ourselves and the world around us. But you will then know and then be able to pass the knowledge along. To ask of what does it mean, being a Dragonborn is a question with a potential thousand answers. The only one that is right, is the one you chose to walk along with and develop yourself to understand that answer."

I looked down.

"I suppose. I don't...I had this philosophy...that I wasn't going to allow myself to die until what I was born for was completed. I...I don't have that great of a outlook on my life. But when you put it that way, being Dragonborn is being what I am and what I can do. While...if and...when I defeat Alduin, am I finished? Or do I continue?" I wondered.

Arngeir eyed me with scrutiny, making me nervous.

"Up to you, I'd prefer you live on because you have every right to a good life. You are mortal and have a limited time on this world. No one is going to stop you from being Dragonborn, you must conceive yourself and tell yourself, this is what I can do. The Gods don't map out your life before you. You have to do it yourself. They're only giving you the tools necessary."

I nodded. I sort of understood. I didn't want to leave Brynjolf or Ayisha behind in any of this. But...I just couldn't help but think...

"I...while I tend to breakdown...I have noticed...that while I have this phobia that is supposed to block me from doing anything...while a dragons about, I do...get the urge, the sudden feeling and strength within. It's a terrible, uncontrollable whirlwind that gets me. Then I find myself fighting...with tears of fury and sorrow that cloud my visions, but it gets clearer. I have to kill that Dragon, I want to kill that Dragon. And when it's all over, I shake, I fall...I am again anxious and shivering, weeping...and I feel ill. I...I don't..."

Sorry, it's a powerful sensation upon recalling it. The urge, the bloodthirst the desire to kill. It just takes over me.

"Hmm...your spirit is there...but you are...locked in a cage of terror, frozen in the midst of the chaos. But your spirit is like that of a dragon...and like a dragon, you are compelled to strike, to consume the souls of the dragon itself. It's in their very nature to dominate. And in your blood you feel it too. It sounds like a conflict of what you yourself a mortal feel, arguing with your immortal spirit who wants to break free." He explained.

I pressed my hand against my heart. Two selves arguing. I can imagine.

"I know...that I couldn't kill one dragon. I'd fallen off my horse and scurried away from it as far as I could. Second time it came back and I was with Brynjolf and I killed it. Third encounter was in Riften...and it grabbed Brynjolf I lost it..." I told with despair in my voice and a tight sore throat.

"Brynjolf?" He repeated.

"So you gathered courage from him maybe?"

I shrugged.

"I don't know...I..he was grabbed by the dragon in Riften and cast over into the lake nearby. I killed the dragon outright in a manner of...destruction and rage... Then in Morthal. He'd hit him and sent him packing...I couldn't contain myself as I shamefully gave into my hate."

He squinted at me and crossed his arms.

"Hmm...all containing Brynjolf himself...could be a trigger. You...care for him?" He asked me.

Oh Gods...umm...

"Y-yeah..."

He smirked. Does the whole world have to know? Or is it that obvious to see?

"I see. Love is a powerful emotion. It drives people. But it is rarely witnessed nowadays. We often want to protect the ones we care about. Your dragon spirit knows your mortal heart loves this man. It's not to say that dragons aren't without compassion. They simply do not understand the concept of it. They do not need it. The most that they can prepare it is the defence of their own spirits. Think of it as your soul contains spiritual concepts of the most basic of dragon-like magics. It translates the love into something that it can defend. Your mind is based on the structural dealing of mortals, but your spirit isn't. When ever Brynjolf is in danger, the love your heart has for him, your spirit listens. Needs to defend, avenge. Anger is equal to compassion in some respects and vengeance is the closest equivalent it has."

Defending Brynjolf. The thought of losing him...it was unbearable. But I am a mesh of lives put together for me to let myself step into the pastures of both worlds, to know the perspectives of mortals and Dragonkind. It has become a hybrid like reaction to seeing him. As the dragons are involved, I am compelled to slay to defend those I care about? At first his words became a bit confusing to understand...

"So...I...become...violent? So when if Brynjolf is hurt...I..." I stuttered, mind trying to piece things together.

Arngeir examined me closely.

"We've never properly examined the processes on how dragons actually express themselves in manners of their power, their anger and competitive streaks. They are capable of seeing reason, and are able to learn. They are highly intelligent, but most never think about anyone else besides themselves. Love is a gift, a blessing from the Goddess Mara to all mortals. But to understand love and to feel it, needs to be taught. Your spirit is trying to comprehend it and acts upon it for you. Defence of loved ones. It responses in kind to destroy any threats. Perhaps like a mother, caring for her family. Speaking of which..."

I tilted my head.

"Hmmm..."

"You have a child here? I would like to assume you have the motherly instinct inside of you. Female dragons are practically non-existent. Safe to say due to all dragons being the children of Akatosh and most of them being males...it's hard to say really. But having studied dragonkind for many years, we may never know everything about them."

I blushed.

"Uh...the Khajiit? Yeah we're looking after her. She's a Priestess of the Moons I think. So she was dragged her by something called the Cult of Slaughter...whom are supposedly after Brynjolf for what ever reason."

Something must have changed in Arngeirs eyes from stable to worry and changed the topic.

"After him? Hmm...I'm not sure you know...Brynjolf is the child of a former Priest of Talos. The man was very ambitious. He tried convincing Brynjolf as a young boy to learn the Way of the Voice, to track himself in Tiber Septims footsteps."

That...I didn't know. Interesting and I wondered why he never told me any of this. Or he may have and I'd forgotten.

"And he says his past isn't very fascinating. So you've actually known Bryn for a long time?" I asked.

He nodded.

"I hadn't seen him in years until he wandered in through those doors with you. I was more focused on you Dragonborn, but when he came to speak with me afterwards, allowed me to identify who he was. All I remember was that he was a stubborn and angry child. Unhappy with the way his father forced him to learn."

I never asked Bryn for too much myself. I would have believed he would have at least revealed this to me in time. But the fact that he'd been to High Hrothgar before...why wouldn't he have told me that?

"Bryn told me he wasn't the religious type for worship." I told him.

Arngeir agreed.

"He isn't...still isn't. I don't blame him. While the position that his father was in was noble, good at the time and if he wanted to worship him then that wouldn't have been a problem. But I believe, like with you, that he has choice to do what he wants. I would never force anyone to stay. In order to learn, one must be willing partake in rigorous dedication and studies of the Ways of the Voice. Even if he stayed, his heart would never allow him to learn even a single shout in his life time. "

I nodded. He was no Dragonborn, that was for sure. But to hear him being like that was awfully surprising, but somehow, it made sense.

"He just wants to help. I know that much. But the past few days have been hectic on him. I don't know if he wants me to tell you, but when we were retrieving the horn, he was possessed and speaking the Dragon tongue. You don't think he was taken over by the spirit of Jurgen himself do you? Is that why the Cult would be after him? I asked him, curious.

Arngeir meanwhile pondered.

"There...have been some rare accounts that Jurgen had done some less than...saintly commitments in the past. How much is true I can't say. But we are where we are because of him and we've certainly learned a lot."

I folded my arms and tried to think.

"I know, from what I've been told, is that the Cult itself are descendants of Dragon Priests. Do you think that may have anything to do with Jurgen maybe?"

He rubbed his chin.

"Possibly. I can't say for sure. The records of the Cult are lost to us and I would say let them be lost. They were a wicked group bent on worshipping the dragons and sacrificing people. Details were lost after the Dragon War, only for a single book to be handed down."

I blinked.

"A book? What does it contain?"

Arngeir sighed. It was obvious he didn't want to talk about it, but he did so, albeit reluctantly.

"It was a family tree, dictating the blood lines of all the dragon priests. Some had masks of great power, others had great power given to them. If the Cults returned, its in no doubt its because of the Dragons themselves."

I nodded. Figured they were hide and bide their time until the dragons came along. But this book sounded promising. But...from what Arngeir was saying, it was implicating a lot. I wanted to find this book to see whether it correlates to Brynjolf at all.

"But the Dragon Priests...so I'd wager they might resurrect some. My...current deep consternation is that if what you're saying is right, are...the Cult after Bryn because he's a descendant?" I wondered, deeply fearing the answer.

Arngeir stood up.

"We don't know for sure. At lot of the Dragon Priests were sealed inside deep crypts. If the Cult is going to find them, then there will be a lot more than the Dragons to worry about."

I shook my head. So many connections to take in as I stood up.

"I want...I want to keep him far away from the Cult as much as I can. If I have to take them down so be it."

Arngeir nodded.

"Good. But I think you may want to find the book itself?"

I blinked.

"Yes I do. You have any idea where it might be?"

He crossed his arms again.

"I know...I sense something near a word wall. We can normally hear whispers of a word, part of a shout when they like to make themselves known. I suspect you've seen a few yourself already. Shearpoint I believe. I'll mark that down on your map for you."

Shearpoint. High in the mountains. Should be interesting. But I had to meet with Delphine first.

Plus I had questions for Bryn. I still was going to be worried about him.

"What should I do? If Bryn...somewhat turns again? I have to be prepared. I..." I choked out, nearing tears again.

Arngeir bowed his head.

"Be strong for the both of you. Your heart knows love. You want to protect Brynjolf with the best magic you have. I don't know much about possession I'm afraid. But you can hardly be prepared with someone you trust tends to turn their back at any given moment. I'd suggest to reason with the person possessing him. Ask questions. Get information because the more you use, the more chance you have of figuring out what's going on."

I went outside and watched as Ayisha started to cast random spells around Bryn. The two played well together. In my mind I just wish Bryn would have let me know from the start. I thought that I would have had his trust by now. But...I know I sound hypocritical, but my mouth couldn't open in front of Ayisha to say it.

He may have not found it important or relevant. But now it was crucial. I had to keep watch of his actions and his mood around me. But I have deep dread for the future, was this going to happen again and again? And if this book is correct, then this was worse than I thought.

My plan would be to run away back to Cyrodiil with him and Ayisha, back to my parents farm for safety, hidden in the woods and left be. We could stay there, but...they could stay there, out of harms way. I don't think I can go back until the main deed for myself was done.

I leaned against the back wall and continued to watch. I ruffled through my stuff attached to me to make sure all I had was still there. Strangely enough, I found the pouch that I usually put letters in. When I changed from my old brown to my new black armour, I practically put all the letters I had there.

I'd forgotten some old and tattered letter that I received months and months ago. I opened it and shuffled through the letters I already had for previous things to find it, to reveal some kind of letter that was sent out...the first letter since...

'Meet me near the border of Skyrim and Cyrodiil. Come alone.'

Was all that was written. Strange. I pondered and whacked the letter on my hand. This had to be the reason why I was sent to Skyrim. But...I was caught. So I never got the chance to do so. But the letter was suspicious itself. And anything I had to remember before that was...just irretrievable.

I had a lot of work to do to ensure that this world was safe. Perhaps that's what I might do. Once I've dealt with Kynesgrove and Shearpoint, that I'd take them both to the farm. I went up to Brynjolf and Ayisha, hugged them both and informed them what we were going to do now. I had this set, and I needed to do it right and it was part of my journey. Brynjolf nodded and smiled. Damn that made me weak. And Ayisha cuddled me, which warmed my heart. We made haste and made the trip to Kynesgrove.

Thank the Gods at least there's something I could do.


	49. Kynesgrove

**AN: Brynjolf Chapter again! Yay!**

**CHAPTER 49 **

**KYNESGROVE**

When the lass told me that we were going to go to Cyrodiil, I wouldn't have believed it.

But she was insistent that we go to Kynesgrove first, but didn't want to divulge much other than dragon investigations. I think to her shame that it might have been a dragon hidden there. I doubt that she wouldn't have told me the whole story otherwise. Arngeir had told me to tread carefully before we left the monastery. Now the lass was formally inducted as Dragonborn and able to be trained to use her abilities properly, I saw that she was a bit more confident in herself, but saddened by other prospects.

I think, after our little argument last night that she was more open about this entire possession thing. Arngeir confirmed the details of a little red book that contained dragon priest lineages throughout time. I was quite shocked to hear the suggestion that...myself am possibly a descendant.

I don't know, my father was an overzealous Talos Priest. He would have been a Priest of Akatosh or what ever otherwise. I was beginning to believe that my own father had his own set of secrets that he never gave me the chance to inquire about. And I had that feeling ever since I was a lad.

Petra was, to say the least, mortified, but she stuck by me, saying it wouldn't matter who or what I was...that she would love me anyway. The lass warmed my heart with those sentiments. I know it's difficult for her to cope. She wants me to be okay and I want to be okay for her, to make sure I stay in control and discover and sort out as much as we could.

Going back to what we were doing slowly became less an option for us and an impossible way for us to deal with our lives. I enjoyed my time, work was good, coin was good. But I've been questioning too much and I simply don't know what to think. What am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to be? In life? And if I'm a descendant of a Dragon Priest and I'm being possessed by it, what hope is there to return to the Guild?

I saw it in Petra's eyes that she wants to solve it. I believe she will. If it were up to me, I'd pull the same stunt she made when she was a Vampire and isolate myself so I don't hurt anyone. I figure, that without Petra there with me, I would have possibly just...don't really understand what would happen. It's not something I'm entirely used to it and I want it out now. I just see and somewhat understand Petra's reasoning, but it doesn't mean I have to, nor do I need to.

I had to be patient and tenacious. To find out more on what was going on and see if it can be dealt with, with minimal cost.

* * *

Petra, Ayisha and I went back down the mountain and took the horses around the path to Kynesgrove. She was scrupulous in finding a dragon head on. She'd told me about the lineage fine, which I was remotely surprised with like I said previously, but to her, it's just something else I've burdened her with. I appreciate her worrying about me but I'll be fine. Really...

She had Ayisha with her, being a curious cat, was busy looking around the place as butterflies flew past us. I'm trying to also figure out what role she could possibly have in all of this. Her...prayers that temporarily stop or to at least resist the magic that takes hold of me.

I shouldn't be thinking too hard. I know Petra was, her eyes dead in front of her, piercing and hard. There's an inflamed passion in her heart but she doesn't know how to use it properly. I've seen her kill dragons and it's a terrifying display of ferocity you would never see otherwise. We're more of the practical sort, trying to survive in these cold harsh lands. But that is the dragon side of her escaping through her teeth.

I can't stop her from worrying, if that's what she's doing.

"I know that look lass...are you still thinking about what Arngeir said?" I asked her, breaking the silence.

She looked a me with bone-dry expression.

"Arngeir told me of your father. While I was surprised at first that you two knew each other, I was more curious as to why your father neglected to tell you. I..I know it sometimes feels like everything surrounds me, but I'm wanting to know...did you father know about your ancestors?" She queried.

I shook my head.

"No. He only told me that he came to be a Priest because he saw a vision. I don't know what that meant. I've suspected for a long time that my father had tonnes of hidden secrets he never told me. About mother, about all the nonsense that spilt out of mother. It was sad that I was the only one who ever believed her."

So many prophetic episodes made her very ill. Gave me chills. But the words she used them in never matched up to anything. But you know, those words were compared to bad omens. Father hated it.

Petra looked down.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad she had a son who loved her."

I grinned at her.

"I'm glad I have a woman who loves me."

Aye, made her blush and giggle, biting her lip the way she did. It's just to stir her up mostly. All in good fun. But I feel like every time I make her smile, the darkness in the world just disappears for the moment. But I hadn't told her what Arngeir mentioned the first time she was at High Hrothgar. I had to be straight. If it had to do with her being Dragonborn and all of this stuff that was happening to me...reminded me of my conversation with Arngeir...

* * *

Petra was with Ayisha, showing her the ropes of general shouting. She doesn't notice how motherly she's being, or maybe Arngeir made her realise something. Ayisha enjoyed the shouts and wasn't scared by them at all. I've never heard a Khajiit shout, but maybe Petra could teach her someday. If we all survive this of course. We will, I'm sure.

But as Arngeir stood next to me, I felt his previous words rise into my memory. What my father had said and done...and on how he was looking for the Dragonborn himself.

"I haven't told her...that father was looking for her." I told him.

Arngeir lifted his chin.

"Hm...strange. And now, Petra and I had discussed the possibility of your own lineage in all of this. The Cult that is supposedly looking for you. And this was through the eyes of the khajiit girl here I believe?"

I nodded.

"Aye, she's a smart lass. She has a unique type of magic that can't be explained. I'd been possessed and tried to hurt Petra but I blacked out."

"Hmm..." Arngeir muttered.

"And you and Petra have talked a bit about this?"

I nodded in agreement.

"Aye. We weren't sure what's going on. We're getting the assumptions in but no raw evidence to put on display. So you two assumed it had to do with my lineage and didn't bother to inform me?"

Arngeir turned to watch Petra pretending to fight Ayisha. Cute display, really. But having discussions behind my back wasn't really helping.

"It's just a theory for now. If the Cult were looking for you and from what Petra had told me before that they were looking for the khajiit, then I don't understand much of it at all. Forgive my ignorance on the matter of Khajiit customs. All I know is that they revere Akatosh as Alkosh, the Dragon King of Cats."

Yeah, from what Ayisha had told me.

"She says she's a Priestess of the Moons. She's called on prayer to help. Does that give any help?"

I wondered.

Arngeir just shook his head.

"The religious practice of the khajiiti is unknown to me. How that is connected to the Cult itself is anyone's guess. I gave Petra details regarding to finding a red book of lineage for you, to determine whether you are in fact a descendant. I suggest speaking with her about it...but the girl. All I'll say is keep her away from them. Don't know what the purpose is but it's obviously not good."

* * *

Petra and I definitely had an understanding once we did talk about it. It became clear to us to proceed with our continued investigation, but she absolutely urged caution in doing so. She was unwilling for me or Ayisha to get ourselves in danger. But for her to return to Cyrodiil...sounded more like she was running away. Although, she did just want us there until...

Shor's bones. Petra, I will not let you do this alone. Please don't do this. This concerns all three of us. We don't know what the reason for all this is. It gets me so frustrated and...she may want to talk about what can be done and what to look for, but she refused to let me in on how she was going to do it. No...I can't let her do that.

We reached Kynesgrove that late afternoon. The weather changed quickly, the skies grey and the wind had picked up dust and leaves and scattered them all over the place. I had a bad feeling about it, but Petra remained vigilant. She struck me as having developed herself quite a bit. We left our horses nearby as she desperately wanted to leave Ayisha and myself by the Inn, but I couldn't. I don't want to leave Petra by herself. I've seen what she's like with dragons.

But the whole town was in panic and fleeing, and the sound of roars and gushing winds scurried them off. Petra stood there, deathly still and looking in the distance. It was only upon closer inspection that she was actually shaking. Damn it woman, why do you do this to yourself? I told you, I was going to give you support. Don't force me to hide.

I ran in front of her, trying to catch her eye. Her mouth was shut as she refused to look at me. Look at me Petra...

"_LOOK AT ME!_"

I think I frightened her as I shouted all of a sudden, but I got her attention.

"You came here for a reason. You knew a dragon was going to be here. What do you think was going to happen Petra? You don't actively look for dragons...they normally find you..."

She was shaking more violently now, crying again, her words were slurred and stuttered.

"I was...I was told...to prove myself as Dragonborn...I have...I have...to k-kill this dragon. She has answers for us Bryn...reasons for the dragons return!"

I shook my head with disbelief.

"Who told you? That Breton woman?" I asked her sternly as I grasped on her arms even tighter. Her eyes told me she knew but her mouth wasn't opening.

"Petra, you consult this with me from now on...I don't want you running off because someone's told you to do something. You relayed your concerns prior and that was fine. Don't just change your mind because you're incredibly discerned something bad will happen to us...you're..."

I realised something...abstract about Petra. She was good at following orders, but it felt more like she was obliged to follow all the instructions she was given. She follows orders to survive. But this time she was the one giving orders. Orders for us to live...but there had to be more than that.

"Arngeir...suggested that the reason why I can gather the courage to suddenly kill them is because that you're in danger and my instincts tell me to kill, because they've harmed you. Riften...Morthal...both times you were injured and both times I fell into a ravenous lust to destroy. If you're with me, you're subject to that and I don't want that to happen. I need to learn to do this on my own. I fear your death more than I fear them and...if I lose you I'll lose myself..."

My eyes widened. All that power, because I was putting myself in danger...

That day on the road...Petra and I behind the rock...I had willingly placed my life on the line so she could live. She pulled me down...and screamed and killed it herself with great weight placed on her shoulders...

"No one is prepared for Dragons lass..." I said calmly.

Her head fell as her shoulders shook as she cried.

"I have...I have to be. I am the Dragonborn! But you...you and Ayisha...there will be times that I have to do this on my own and I can't have you both die on me..." She stuttered.

I looked over as I continued to hear dragons roars. We had bigger concerns. I lifted her chin and forced her to look at me.

"Petra, you're an incredible woman, believe me. You severely underestimate yourself and me too. I can't have you die either because the other spirit hidden within me told to kill you. We need to watch out for each other. And Ayisha. We're together because we need one another Petra. We need to communicate...and when we said we were going to open with each other, we have to mean it. It's okay to admit your worries, your reluctances..." I said, becoming weaker towards the end.

She sniffed.

"Then...why won't you let me do this? You say I underestimate myself yet I can't do it on my own. It...it looks like you have trouble in letting me go..."

I looked down. That was true. I didn't want to let her go. I kissed her passionately for the few moments. Forgetting Ayisha was there briefly of course. I then caressed her cheek.

"I love you, Petra. I need you and I need confirmation that you're okay. Sounds selfish, but I also need you to keep watch on me..."

I understand what I had thought earlier of abandoning Petra was probably a good idea, to not let myself harm her when it was out of my control. But then, given Petra's capabilities...she's the only one who might be able to stop me if it ever gets that far. And Ayisha...I felt like I was only taking from the young lass with her rituals and spells to keep me in check. But, I know we are all stronger, together, as a team and I just know deeply, in my heart, that we can figure this out. And we'll need to do what we can to solve it.

She nodded.

"...I-I love you Brynjolf...I need to protect you...I...just...need to kill this dragon...don't worry, I'll have help. Keep yourselves hidden. Please?"

I smiled.

"We'll do the best we can. I'll come running if you need any help, just call me."

* * *

We made it up the hill, to see a huge black, spiky dragon flying in the air and a strange ritual happening on top of a large mound. Ayisha and I kept watch and hidden behind a set of bushes and a tree, while Petra met up with the Breton woman she was talking about. I listened in to the black dragon as it muttered something in the dragon language. Ayisha clung onto my arm as she looked at it and whispered something about the son of Alkosh...I was confused but then...

The chants, the words from the dragon made more sense to me. I felt an aura around me as I fell in and out of consciousness and their words echoed in my mind. No...please. Don't let this happen...

But there was no proceeding headache. But I listened to their conversation and I could strangely understand it. The large black one was Alduin, the World-Eater himself. Here. But then I recall Petra talking about a large, black spiky dragon attacking Helgen...

Oh..Gods..no...I have a strange sense of what's going to happen next.

After Alduin resurrected the dragon, Sahloknir, he ordered his underling to attack Petra, offended as Petra's nobility as Dragonborn that she couldn't even understand their language.

The blonde breton was the first to strike, while Petra stood there, trying so hard to force herself to get moving, but she was hard as stone. Come on... She had to be sussing it all out in her head, even with the breton attacking the beast with arrows...

_Breath Petra_...

The Dragon flew around, shouting fire everywhere. She had to get it in her head. She can do it...she definitely...

_We believe in you Petra..._

_Bring out Nocturnal within you..._

She must have heard what I was whispering as she conjured her Nightingale Armour around her, covering herself in shadow and luck. She eventually pulled out her bow and started firing, albeit her aim was off and her arms were shaking from fear. I could almost sense the pain of it all. What made it worse was that if that dragon really was the one from Helgen, then she could be relieving it all over again. But she had more a chance than she did back then to defeat it.

I heard Ayisha's prayers to Alkosh, speaking in her tongue but must have been giving Petra the support of the Gods. I clasped my own hands together, albeit I never had my own beliefs or heavy worships that I wanted to partake in. My own father spoiled it for me and look now what I was doing. I watched Petra's struggle to fight. I could imagine her tears as I heard her scream. Those was screams cut from a double edged sword. She was testing herself but I...

She managed to get a few arrows in there, with the help with the breton. It's landing shook to very earth, almost tipping her over.

I pulled out an Amulet of Talos of my pocket. I keep it close to me. Don't ask me why. Father gave it to me and told me to keep it with me. I never used it, nor did I need to do. He promised it would help out with my shouts if I ever followed the Way, but I was imbued with so much hatred and was incredibly repulsed by the very idea that it was impossible for me to even follow or learn.

Why didn't I throw it out? I don't know. For sentiments sake? To remind myself not to go down that extreme path?...I...just...I..

I clasped my hands tighter amongst the confusion clouding in my head, coinciding with the growing storms around us.

_Dear..Talos..._

_Petra is in need for your guidance. She is of the dragon blood, like you once were. She has the great power, like you once had. She is your progeny born of time immortal, driven to slay Alduin...her heart tells her to kill, but it doesn't tell her to see, to get the broader horizon. She fails to understand and she wants to so badly, but her phobia prevents her..._

_I've never been your biggest admirer. I even revelled in the chance to ignore you once the White-Gold Concordant came to place. I joined the Thieves Guild. I liked it there. I still do. They became my home and my true family. And then I fell in love with your successor. Are...are you telling me something here? Because I'd lost faith a long time ago and now she's here and she's making me realise that maybe some of those lessons were true and honest...on how we are honourable to ourselves and our kin...we can achieve if we just try...Sovngarde will only take the worthy in the end...if Alduin wins though, even then that's not a guarantee._

The storm got worse as I watched Petra take out her swords and struggle to move out of the way in time. The Breton woman often intervened, which made me angry slightly. The way she aggressively pushed Petra out of the way. I grumbled. Ayisha put her hand on my arm to stop me from going forward. The Khajiit was right, but I still wasn't happy about it.

The time came when Petra's meek fury came into force as she shouted in the dragon's face with Unrelenting Force in all it's three-worded glory and started slashing it to death. Even with it dead, she continued to strike it to the point of exhaustion, panting heavily as she cried.

She gave up shortly after as the dragon started to burn. Her cloak disappeared into the void as the breton woman came up to her in awe, as the dragon spirit was absorbed by her. It always took a lot out of her, as Petra fell to her knees. Ayisha and I ran up to her, surprising the Breton woman and forcing her to go on the defensive. I knelt down beside Petra and rubbed her on the back as she was slouched and rocking, shaking and weeping.

"You did good...really good. I'm proud..." I reassured her with a smile.

Ayisha went to her other side and hugged her.

"Ayisha pleased to see you rid of that monster mama."

The Breton womans eyes widened with surprise, don't know whether or not she expected this type of welcome party but...

I looked up at her with angry eyes.

"Are you satisfied? You wanted to prove she was actually Dragonborn?" I said coldly.

The woman raised her hands.

"She mentioned...nothing of this. I would have thought, of all the stories that were going around that you're just able to take the damn things down. She helped me find this place herself. I know she was capable first hand..." She explained.

Petra shook a bit in short intervals as I heard her start hacking. Oh...right.

"Excuse us..."

I got her up and walked her towards the bushes nearby and let her hurl her...contents out. After she was done, she was all sweaty and flustered and held herself. I assisted her to stand. She could definitely do this without me interfering. But this had to be the best progress I've seen this far. She was getting better at forcing herself to take heed and to take control of herself. She can bring her dragon spirit forward without instinct getting her out of control. She still released the rage...at least.

She still needed our help regardless. I walked her back to the Breton.

"Sorry about that...she just gets queasy that's all." I told her.

The breton rose an eyebrow.

"I'll bet. She can do it...if I'd realised that she was this way, I would have never forced her to do so. I thought she was just...cowardly in general."

I heard Ayisha hiss at the statement, surprisingly.

"Mama is brave. Mama has courage. She risks her life. Your opinions do not matter."

Ayisha said outright. Wow...young lass, colour me impressed.

The woman crossed her arms.

"She did help me kill the damn creature. I'll give her that. But I owe her some answers. And I prefer we talk about this in private..."

* * *

We made sure the coast was clear as the lass introduced herself as Delphine, member of the Blades. The Blades once protected the Septim Emperors but they were originally formed to be dragonslayers and that the Dragonborn was once renowned as the ultimate Dragonslayer. We all knew the story, but the blades were hunted down by the Thalmor during the Great War and most believe they were all extinct. Until now.

She summarised a theory about the dragons being resurrected and excused herself to return to Riverwood and that if we find ourselves in that area that we should visit her as soon as we could to figure out more. I would have been glad to have someone else on board, unless Petra had other plans.

Which she did. We both did.

I told her we'll get down there in due time to discuss extra details if necessary. She acknowledged that and made her way back home.

As for us, we settled in at the Braidwood Inn and got ourselves a room. I got Petra something to eat as we got her in the room, laying on the bed. Ayisha was sitting next to her with her head on Petra's shoulder. Petra herself was distant and rubbing her head. She must have been dehydrated, so I got her a mead. She sipped it and placed on the desk next to her. I sat on the edge of the bed, holding her hand and rubbing her fingers with my thumb.

"You're doing well lass, you really are..." I told her once more.

"That's another one down..."

She swallowed, then she sighed.

"Delphine was right. I have to stop being so cowardly..." She groaned.

I put my other hand on top of hers. She had to stop seeing herself like that.

"You and I both know that's been an ongoing issue. It's not entirely your fault."

Petra shook her head.

"The black dragon struck a chord. Helgen. Brought back what didn't need to be brought back Bryn...but my father told me to...just do the hard work even if you hate it. And I will...just need..."

"Time?" I finished off for her.

She nodded and scrunched her spare hand into a fist.

"Yeah. Because I must that I will do...that the pain will strike me down...but I have the ability to stand up again...and I can protect you and Ayisha here. And I will do that...if I have to cry..I'll cry. I..."

I grabbed her chin then gave her a quick peck.

"Shh...don't...over do yourself. Just be calm and relax...okay?"

She nodded.

"Alright..."

That night was peaceful enough to my surprise. I had the both the girls on me as I laid down in the middle with my lover on my right and my...cat? On my left. Must been a strange sight to see for some people. It is a funny thought I'll admit.I know in some circumstances that we'll argue over stupid things. But when you care about someone like I do, you often do stupid things to make sure the others okay. I was contemplating it for myself. But what can you do? I know for now that prayer...may or may not work. Ayisha's probably more..powerful or potent even. She's a brilliant lass. No doubt.

But Petra...laid there, content and less tense than she was before. Her breath gentle. Her mouth formed a minor smile, but you had to be as close as I was to see it. She's a beautiful woman...she just needs to give herself more credit. She doesn't sell her exploits with great detail. Never has. I'm like that. I'm not saying she should be arrogant, she just needs to find the confidence within herself. I know she has it there, I've always seen that. To bring it out requires a push.

It made me think about things. About the future and how we would see ourselves within a decade or two. If we managed to solve the dragon crisis, figure out what's wrong with me and all the other stuff in between, that where would we land? But when your faith is lost it's hard to regain. But it's getting there bit by bit and there is some truth on all the beliefs that you have. You just need to experience it. Like I have.

The world itself is built on strange magics and divine interventions and chaos that destroys. I've felt more strongly about this than anything I've ever felt before. I wondered, if...

I would have to psyche myself up for it, but the way that Petras progressing, we could finish this sooner than we might expect. That...well, maybe, I don't know, one day that...I might...consider,

Wearing the Amulet of Mara and propose? The very thought is intimidating but...

Thank the priests who sold me one at the Temple. I might need it some day.


	50. Shearpoint

**AN: You might not understand the dragon tongue, but you're pretty much stuck with Petra's perspective on this. And...yeah...um...**

**Chapter 50.**

**Shearpoint**

I did okay, I think. I know it wasn't the best sort of...sight to see, but I know that I had help which is fine, I don't know if there's shame in not doing alone. You think yourself Dragonborn and suddenly you're instantly strong enough to kill them on your own. But that's hardly been the case. People have helped me whittle them down for me to start attacking but... Delphine had explained that her group, the Blades, were once a collective of dragonslayers and that my role, or my predecessors roles were the ultimate dragonslayers. She was trained but after the Great War she'd been trying to a purpose for herself and the Blades, after they'd been hunted down by the Thalmor.

I'd moved, for once but it took great effort on my part. I was afraid, but utilised and focused on aim and attack. My whole body was arguing with me but I had to force myself to move even a single step. The pressure had mounted. It's an interesting situation for sure, but when you're swimming with just...a sea of emotion that swells like mine, you're in a rut.

When I saw Alduin I panicked, my heart threatening to escape my chest, the hot flushes, the watery eyes. Everything that accompanied and forced me to remember Helgen. The flames, the seared flesh...I...I can't...ugh...

It...it still makes me sick. The shakes and...Oh Gods, I still hear the screams...just...

Brynjolf took us back to the nearby inn. I was okay, but him and Ayisha kept smiling, saying I was doing great. But...when you're like me, you never really believe it. You can assume, but you can't say for sure. The others, they have their opinions and I'm supposed to take them as comfort but...

They're too good for me. I know they're just being nice, but I need to step the game up. I have to make sure that all of this...all of what I am and what I'm trying to do will mean something in the end. I'd rather not have Bryn involved, but...he can handle himself and I just can't help but worry...I need to be strong. Be strong Petra. You are capable. But you...just...

I relaxed a bit more, the time to bide myself and recuperate was now. To get back all the strength lost in the turmoil and the effort involved was huge. I...would never be able to take a dragon lightly.

It took strategy but it ultimately took guts and a lot of instinct. To pride myself in bringing out the spirit within me and taking charge. That's where I am meant to be.

I see a goal to just be better than I am because it's just how, in my mind, it should be. My own worry is that I psyche myself up and tell myself I am prepared, I am ready! Then once you find yourself in front of a dragon, it mostly falls apart very quickly, like a heavy armour that melts away.

But it's not just for me. It's for Brynjolf. It's for Ayisha...it's for everyone here dying because of my phobia. I bear every burden every death by dragon because I am not there. I am, supposed to be where they are, saving lives and protecting the weak. But I am a Thief, I act with guile and selfishness and constantly breaking the law. But now we weren't on the behalf of the Guild, but my own mission here. I don't want people to think I am the ideal person to be Dragonborn and the epitome of all Nords.

I'm definitely not. This has to be not in the knowledge of who the dragonborn is and how that, when hearing my adventures that they speak of a champion but not speak of she who has the power to slay dragons and steal their power.

Brynjolf would tell me it's not my fault. I can't be every where at once because I am the only one who can do it. I am mortal and that the Gods themselves know that. And wouldn't have otherwise if they felt that I couldn't.

* * *

I was fine in the morning as we ate breakfast and made our way out of Kynesgrove, the sky a bit cloudy but fine, and on our way to Shearpoint, to find the book to determine Bryn's real lineage. From what he's told me that his father was a terrible man. To be..controlled like that. It's terrible. I don't imagine that bodes well with anyone's psyche. But Bryn pulled through and was fine. I really do wish I had his strength.

It made me want to protect him more.

We trekked passed Fellglow Keep, and far up the mountains to seek out the area. I had a gut feeling about something, so we stopped and I got off my horse. My heart wrenched and I closed and open my fist. Brynjolf stood next to me.

"Something up there lass?" Brynjolf asked, wondering why we stopped.

I didn't know, but...I know finding this book was our priority. But...

I kept Ayisha close. A dark aura was clouded nearby as got back on our horsed and went the rest of the way. I...sense something.

It wasn't until we reached the summit that we'd made a terrible mistake. I stopped dead in front of a dragon, sleeping on top of a word wall and some strange black sarcophagus.

My eyes widened, locked onto the dragon itself. I couldn't cope with another dragon, I just couldn't...

Brynjolf got off his horse and walked forward. I didn't want him going any closer.

"Papa! W-" Ayisha called out, before I put my hand her mouth.

But it was too late.

The Dragon lifted it's head up, awake. Brynjolf got out his bow as I got mine out. The dragon flew upwards and around as it roared and sent echoes down the valleys nearby. Brynjolf was cautious as he started firing at it. I ordered Ayisha to hide and take the horses with her as I jumped off my horse and went to go assist Bryn.

But there it was again. That phobic sickness came in. One foot after the other Petra...Move it.

It was agonising to do so. I didn't want to see it but the rush and the halting my blood made things extremely difficult. Nocturnal, give me the luck to move!

I donned the armour again, need to protect myself against the harshness of the cold breath shout it was casting. Brynjolf did the same as he continued to fight it.

I felt the deepness of the horror, knowing he was fighting anyway. No, Brynjolf just stop!

"Petra...I know this is hard for you!" He yelled out to me, barely avoiding the freezing shout.

"I promise not to die on you."

I scrunched my eyes and pulled out my bow and grabbed an arrow. Time slowed around me as every step took every inch of my strength, and I was still mentally exhausted from yesterday.

"Bryn...I..."

The Dragon dived over me, forcing me to drop down a bit and cover my head and violently shake.

I then saw the sarcophagus pop open, with a strange type of draugr floating out of it and screaming like a banshee.

It adorned stranger types of garb and a mask and wielded a staff. I couldn't recongise it, but as we made struggle, Bryn withdrew his weapons and stared at the creature. I witnessed his eyes going dark and finally black, giving off an odd calmness and his face still as he stared it down. No...this couldn't be what I thought it was...

I pressed myself combating the dragon and it killed me from the inside, my stomach ill with anxiety. No...go Petra! You know what that creature was...

A Dragon Priest.

The dragon disappeared for the moment as the Priest wasn't hostile, as it looked at Bryn, as if he was familiar to him.

"_Zoklotinhaar" _The Priest spoke as if greeting Brynjolf somehow.

Bryn had his hands by his sides as he continued to stare at the Priest in a weird conversation. I snuck around, seeing Bryn's face as deathly pale with black vein streaks coming out from his cheeks and his forehead. I myself froze with fear, knowing I couldn't move. No Bryn, come back...his eyes...no soul to them...just...I couldn't see.

"_Krosis..._" Brynjolf muttered, the power of a thousand echoes booming.

"_Fahvos dreh hi gufahdey voth hokzii do un in?" _The Priest spoke.

I wasn't sure what he was saying, only that it was in dragon tongue. I felt a tug on my hand, feeling the fur of Ayisha's fingers. She kept behind me, invisible.

"They speak...Papa is not Papa but the spirit of the Priest within." She whispered to me.

This...this whole ordeal was to help stop this from happening but no! This just made it a lot worse. Arngeir, you better have not lied to me.

"_Dreh hi lost faal Sahqo Deykel?_" Brynjolf spoke again. His face...his aura. It just wasn't him. I could feel his spirit gone and...it's just heartbreaking to see but I couldn't move myself. This...I can't...Bryn please stop!

"_Hi fen siiv vahzen til. Hi lost Alduin's hundah. Daal wah mii, ahrk mu fen drun faal Bron rigir ko uth fah un in!_" Krosis worded. I heard the word Alduin but that was about it.

I breathed heavily as Ayisha clung onto me. What am I supposed to do? What I am I supposed to know? I can't...

"_Faal Dovahkiin los dii in. Dii lokal fah ek lokiig irkbaan ko dii hil!_" Brynjolf roared, suddenly ferocious and defensive and sending out greater chills as his face became more twisted and filled with hatred. What I would give to understand what they were saying...but...Dovahkiin...I understood. I fell to my knees and whimpered. They were being talkative at least, but...

"_Hi. . . . un zeymah. kinbok do un uth. Hi fen ni vodein Alduin's mil. Faal Zaag do Kriind fent lost hi, faal Dovahkiin ahrk faal Raziir ahrk fen fent drun hi rigir nol vorohah ahrk siir daar lein. Vuun zaan nii! " _Krosis boasted...at least, I think he was boasting. The only words I could get were Alduin and Dovahkiin again...but I was totally locked out of this conversation.

Ayisha hugged me even tighter revealing herself, obviously worried. I forced myself to take care of her. But I too, was unsure of what to do...given I don't know what they were speaking of, but they were having an intense debate.

"The Priest speaks of reclamation of this land and serving Alduin. He calls Papa as his kin. Zoklotinhaar."

I looked at her with disbelief.

"How do you know the dragon language so well?"

She looked down.

"You wouldn't believe Ayishas who says that she had stolen a dragon's tongue. Mama won't understand. But Ayisha now understands why they need her."

I browed, unsure but all I could do was make assumptions.

"Because you are a Priestess of the Moons?" I asked her.

She shook her head.

"Ayisha's story begins in Elsweyr. Her power as Priestess is not gifted by training but honed by it. You and Ayisha are not so different."

I blinked.

"You're right, I don't understand..."

The Priest and Brynjolf continued to have a chat...but...

"_Hi los maht enlaag zeymah. Mu fent praad hi nol hin laag ahrk gron hi wah dahrin!"_

I turned to Ayisha to look for a translation. She glanced intently at the pair.

"You are still asleep brother. We shall awake you from your sleep and bind you to reason! " She interpreted.

The roar of the Frost Dragon was heard, and the dragon returned by shooting up from behind us and attacking us once more. I ordered Ayisha to hide while I picked myself up again with a heavy heart.

Krosis and Brynjolf fought as well...but Krosis had frost magic while Brynjolf only had his Nightingale armour and assorted melee weapons. I don't...this wasn't going to end well at all.

You will not touch Brynjolf! **NO!**

I charged a Krosis as he inhaled and shouted the first words for Unrelenting force, but I solved that by sticking my Nightingale blade into his throat and cut it.

"Too bad my blade is as sharp as your throat!" I taunted, then pulled the blade out.

I saw the Dragon flying around again as Brynjolf had gave the rest of his attention to it. Oh Gods help me. I quickly dealt with Krosis, as he was easier, but I always kept my eye on Bryn. His power, undeniable. He was more swift and agile than normal. But it wasn't him. It wasn't.

He cast a spear of frost to me, I panicked then remembered.

"_FEIM!_"

I got that shout at Ustengrav, I forgot to mention. Ethereal or something I believe, my body became one as a spirit for the moment and the ice spike went right through me. Yeah I don't know why I forgot to mention that. Heh.

I glared at Krosis and charged again slicing the Priest to pieces.

"Don't you _dare!_ Speak with Bryn like that! Do not bring him down to your level understand me?"

I yelled, all my fury went into repeated slices like I always do.

The power of my dragon self empowered me, the strength returning as I continued to ruin Krosis's day. I roared and I became more than myself for that moment, like I always do.

My final attack came with the clashing of weapons. I ended up kicking him back and used both Chillrend and the Nightingale Blade to take it's head off.

Good riddance.

But the Priest itself turned to ashes it screamed, leaving behind only it's strange bronze mask, having greenish aura to it. I tucked it away, finding Brynjolf continuing to fight, but then he'd run out of arrows and brought out his dwemer blade. I took a deep breath as the phobia made itself known once more

The Frost Dragon was now land-bound as I took every step carefully and analysed myself. Go...Petra...**JUST GO!**

But Brynjolf's swings and just general ferocity were nearly comparable to my own dragon-selfs fury. No...I simply refused to get him injured yet again. I ran up to Brynjolf and pushed him out of the way jumping on the dragon itself and hacked at it again, the dragon-self screaming as it did. My heart was pounding through my head and I'd almost lost balance as the phobia battled with me as well. Everything was so shaky and awkward but. I must! I must!

I stabbed it unceremoniously through it's skull, forcing her both to yell in agony and released frustrations. I then fell off the dragon and on the ground with the strength just dissipating. With a tightened throat it was hard to claim air once again. I was sick, but...at least I wasn't vomiting, which was a plus.

I absorbed it's soul and commanded the Nightingale armour away. I laid on my side in the snow, trying to get myself to calm down.

I heard hastened footsteps. It was Ayisha who jumped on me. It caused me to smile.

"Mama, you're okay!" She called out.

I hugged the girl. I was getting waaaay too used to this mama business. But it wasn't that bad.

"I'm fine. Where's papa?"

I heard more footsteps. I looked up as a shadow overcast on me, seeing the big red-headed bastard looking over.

"Right here." He said outright with a smile on his face.

I felt relieved he was back to normal. He picked me off my feet and rubbed my head.

"Oh good...good. Dragons...dragons dead...just Bryn?"

"Yeah?" He replied;

I smirked.

"Just don't do that again." I told him outright.

He just shrugged, then pulled out a red book with a gold binding.

"I thought you wanted to read it. However, it's in another language. Possibily Daedric. Ayisha?"

The Khajiit shook her head.

"I cannot read Daedric. Only Dragon."

Brynjolf thumbed his chin.

"Hm...I might know of a guy who might be able to. An old friend in southern Skyrim. Has a property near the border of Skyrim and Cyrodiil. I know you want head there so I'm happy to head down there if you so choose. You're the Dragonborn after all...we'll trust you."

Awfully kind of him to change his mind, not to mention a little odd. I just didn't want either Ayisha or him to get hurt. The Khajiit clasped her hand with mine and gripped tight.

"Ayisha doesn't want to Mama...Aysiha wants to stay here with you!" She cried.

I frowned and kneeled down before her.

"You and Papa are very important to me. You'll be fine with my parents. They're nice people."

Ayisha started tearing up. Poor girl, desperate to not let go. But...it'd be the only way. I don't want either of them subject to more dragon attacks. I rubbed the tears from her eyes.

"But...but..." She whimpered, voice quivering.

I hugged her.

"It'll be alright..."

* * *

After what had unfolded, Brynjolf...was unreasonable perky and smiling. I wanted to tell myself it was nothing but I couldn't help but feel suspicious and worried, but the man said he was fine and adamant to find out his own lineage secrets. I took the words from the word wall, but I think I still needed time to understand some of them. I got one, which was Zul, which meant, voice. I wasn't sure how to use it but I got the gist of it.

But as rode our horses to where ever Bryn's friend was and to find out what it meant for him and for the rest of us. But the further away he was from Skyrim, the better in my opinion. I never felt Ayisha cling on to me that tightly before.

We continued our trip down south on a rather splendid and clear day, then coming into the evening as we passed Riverwood. Brynjolf oddly didn't acknowledge sleeping the night at the inn, probably because he didn't like Delphine. I'll meet up with her afterwards, after getting Bryn and Ayisha settled with my mother and father.

I hadn't seen them in ages. Most likely tending to the farm still. It would give them happiness to let them know I'm still around. May not have made the choices that were the greatest, but I'm okay. That attack on that dragon was even better than yesterday and I was beginning to feel more confident within myself. Which was fantastic. The less I can worry about myself the more I can with Brynjolf and helping solve his problems as soon as I can. It's the least I can do for him.

I was curious as to what the book contained. Massive amounts of secrets and all kinds of interesting notes taken down as to who was related to whom. But the fact we needed translated was a pain, but I wondered who Bryn's friend was.

Later on that night we came close to the border. I looked around the house Brynjolf mentioned. Probably high on the mountains or something. We had to get off our horses as we were on the path, but Bryn mentioned the property was nearby. Ayisha was scared but I assured her it's fine.

Brynjolf lead the road to the house itself, hidden amongst trees. We got higher up, seeing a cabin nestled in there. I nodded and went forward, seeing a small bonfire in the middle. I could barely see much, other than a balding nord with a red beard. He stood up and smiled at Brynjolf.

"Bryn! You...I can't believe it's really you!" The man said, elated to see him. He wore odd black robes with bronze plate shoulder pads.

Brynjolf nodded.

"Aye. We need your help."

I looked around, smelling something off. I didn't notice Ayisha was shivering. It was dark and I could hardly see. But to my right, I saw something odd. A trail of blood, leading to...

Oh Gods...

I stood back a little. I saw dead bodies hanging of a pole, only lit by the flames of the fire. A blue dress for the woman...long brown hair...and the man...long greying hair and a...beard...wearing...

No...

_No no no no no no..._

I should my head with disbelief as Brynjolf and the man talked.

"_Bryn..._"

I shivered and I shook with ultimate despair and anxiousness.

Those...

**No...**

Can't be...

_Impossible._

"**BRYNJOLF!**"

Brynjolf turned to me as I called out to him. His eyes...black as the void and glaring at me.

He approached me and grabbed me by the throat. The other man came from the side and clapped his hands.

"Wow...did not actually think that would work..." He said surprisingly.

Ayisha started bashing on Brynjolf and ordered him to drop me. Only for him to kick her and sent her crashing against a tree and knocking her out.

"**AYISHA!**" I cried out.

No...this...Bryn..

"Brynjolf...you've got...to take...control!" I called out to him.

The bald man chuckled and crossed his arms.

"We've negotiated with several of the Dragon Priests and Krosis was the easiest to find. Sealing him on Shearpoint? Most open and easy area. I gave Arngeir the information for the book when I visited him last. Well, when I say me, I sent a courier. Didn't want the old man to get suspicious now did we?"

I tilted my head and gasped for air as Brynjolf tightened his grip.

"Who...who are you?" I choked.

The old man started pacing around.

"I'm a member of very old order. You may have heard of them. Or not. The Cult of Slaughter sound like anything in particular?" He asked, voice very smug and arrogant.

Oh...dear Gods...no.

"You're...the descendants of Dragon Priests. Should of have known you would have conjured this up..." I grumbled.

The man shrugged.

"I'm a humble Acolyte, who married a woman who contained a great power inside of her. But when my son was born that all changed. But it's foretold that you are the one to kill Alduin. Most of us knew of his eventual return. And the Dragonborn destined to stop him. My wife told me...that the one girl, with icy eyes and a hair of dark gold shall cross the border...the child of labour. I had scouts around the area in Cyrodiil. Your parents were helpful as well, but sadly, they were no longer useful as you can see..."

What? No...it can't be...don't cry Petra, don't cry.

"You're Brynjolf's father?" I croaked with disbelief.

"Yes. I am Prolg. I am the tamer of the mystical powers that my son wields. He is the last descendant of a very powerful dragon priest. So great, Alduin got him to lead the other Priests. But was killed by a Dragonborn."

I blinked. No...no this...this isn't...

"So...you're going to kill me to get revenge? **IS THAT IT**?" I roared, trying to break free.

"Our Dragon lord masters would surely reward us if we killed you ourselves...but LET THE SPIRIT AWAKEN!"

I looked at Brynjolf who was still, those eyes of unholy draconic darkness. I shook my head. It wasn't him, it wasn't him. But the letter I received. It made more sense. Why I had come back to Skyrim...the letter...

"You sent me the letter to come here..." I choked. I was shaking and trying to breath.

Prolg nodded.

"Of course. But then the bloody Legion got to you first and hindered our plans. But our group stuck to the shadows, like my son here and worked a way around that issue. We knew you would go to the Word Walls at one point. And Krosis was the basis. Shame that he had to die, but we'll find another Priest..."

I turned to Ayisha...no...

"You are not...seriously. She isn't even a nord!" I called out.

Prolg just laughed.

"No way would we accept a cat as a Priest of our order. No! The Cult of Slaughter needs her as part of the ritual. Well, what she is is capable of the most interesting things. We went to Elsweyr to find a particular artefact and we found it."

I was more shaking with rage than with fear. Then I recalled Bryn's story.

"Bryn...ugh...Bryn told me you were a Priest of Talos...why...what changed your mind? Talos was Dragonborn. WHY?" I cried out.

He clasped his fingers. I hate when sinister people do that.

"Talos was a good example of how a good leader ascends to god hood by doing great things for the world. He was Dragonborn himself. We will do great things to the true father of dragonkind. Your...mortal parents may be dead now! But your spiritual father...you are consuming the souls of your brothers and sisters when you should be our allies! But, if we couldn't touch you then it would cause big barriers. We choose this because this is what it must be! Son! Take her down..."

Please Brynjolf don't do this! Don't...

I cried...I cried and I cried. Damn this is the most powerful and...most betrayed and conflicted feeling I've ever had. Why? WHY?

"I love...I love you Brynjolf please!" I called out.

I'm so...desperate. The fires around me were charge as the world was lit in flames. No...

**NO!**

**NOT HELGEN AGAIN! STOP WITH THE SCREAMING! I CAN'T TAKE IT!**

**BRYNJOLF STOP!**

**PLEASE!**

"_Hin sil los do daar do un Dovah in. Nuz hi los joor ahrk los ni do faal Rah bahlaan. Hin sil. .. vozahlaas los bahlaan ko Sovngarde nuz in Alduin fen naak dilon til. Siiv drem Dovahkiin_." He spoke with a thousand echoed voices, snarling at me with those dead eyes of his.

Fire...fire everywhere and it's tearing me up. I can't escape. No! The air around us, heated up, making me sweat, making me sick and I can't stand it. This wasn't possible. I refuse to believe it. That isn't Brynjolf...that _isn't_ Brynjolf...the fumes rise as Bryn tightens his grasp, making me yelp.

"**TAKE CONTROL BRYNJOLF PLEASE! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!**" I yelled as loud as I could

"_Nox hi fah hin lokal. Zu'u los. .. krod." _He muttered, his black eyes turning a bright blue, like...like those of the Dragon Priests...Dear Gods...no no no no no no...

I felt a sharp pain in my chest..and...

It went cold.

Mother...father...will I join you soon enough?

"_**Nox hi.**_**"**


	51. Untitled

**Chapter 51**

**Untitled**

…..

…...

…...

…...

_Help...please...help me...please..._

I am on my hands and knees in the darkness...there's nobody here.

Help...

…...

…..

"PLEASE!"

I...these tears can't stop falling. Now I'm just being...pathetic...I'll just lay here, I hold myself in...hold myself.

…

…

…

I...I...

Feels cold...no fire though...

But the tears have dried out now at least. My eyes are wide open, just so I can actually see, not that I need to. I see on forever and beyond.

I can't move anymore...heh...had a feeling. Just...

…..

…...

…...

I want to get up. This is like Mercer all over again, I go through the flash backs at a quickened rate, but then I feel...numb...void.

Damn those echoes...they go on...mocking me...making me hear my own dumb voice.

….

get...up...

get...up...

These hands...quake in the presence of my phobia...now they don't move. I can't move anything but my own eyes and mouth.

Where I am, I'm either alive or dead...I don't know...I just...want Bryn. No ones here but me.

Dramatic...I don't want to feel sorry for myself. It piles up...and up until it implodes and you're left as an empty shell.

Why do I fail as a Nord? I am supposed to be fighting yet I run away scared all the damn time simply because Dragons scare me. But I don't want others to die! No! Just no! I hate being Dragonborn! I would have known in time the true meaning of it, but for me it just means being a little whiny bitch who can't do what she was born to do. I am wasting this on petty crying and vomiting. Ugh. Pathetic...useless. Pitable, feeble...fragile...Why couldn't I be been born something less special?

(_We all want to be something else, but you know the obstacles that get in your way..._)

…..

…...

I... I should have stayed in Cyrodiil. Stayed on the farm with mother and father tended it away...would have ended up marrying some Imperial boy. Had kids...

(_Would life have stayed the same? Dragons attack all the same. Would have extended their reach.)_

No one would have died...everyone would...just...

(Yet you fail to see the successes)

Mother and father would still be alive...and happy. I would be happy and now grateful.

(You are blinded by your failures)

Brynjolf would have been fine and happy with the Guild and not stuck with plaintive old me. I have do nothing for him. I owe him too much and now I can never give him that chance. He would have found another woman. And they'd get up to mischief and they'd be able to kill dragons without anyone dying. Another Dragonborn.

(_Mercer would have literally got away with murder and the Guild would cease to be. Brynjolf could have been in your position and would died instead. You changed their fate with your being._)

The Gods made a terrible choice. I am...simply a coward and a mess. I try so hard and I still...UGHHHHHHH

(_You are braver than you think you are_)

And...I only kept alive by following orders.

(_And your choices saved the Guild from reckoning, but you know not to take orders that you're unsure of._)

I have no orders...I have nothing...I...I don't know what to do...

(_You steal back what was stolen from you._)

….

…...

…..

I feel safer here...no noise. No dragons...just me. Where no one can hurt me and I can't hurt anyone.

Maybe I should have gone to the Companions instead...

(_Fate would decree a lot more in store. Your choices are your own_)

I'm useless.

(_Blinded by failure..._)

I shouldn't receive praise for doing what was expected of me.

(_A lot would have expected you to fail. But you succeeded where they didn't. You cannot see that)_

I just want to sleep...

…

What? I heard footsteps...they're coming closer. I see...someone...in white tall leather boots...and a robe and cloak of garnet, a hood of ruby and gold, long hair the colour of clouds pouring down like a waterfall from the sides of her hood, face hidden in shadow but eyes that were shining like diamonds. A woman made of jewels, wearing white gloves as I saw her with her hands folding behind her back, like a high ranked soldier.

"You fall into the deep sleep Petra and you won't be able to wake up from the Nightmare...sorry about the corny metaphor but that's what you're saying you want and that's what you'll expect." the person called out to me. Her voice was calm but felt...confident and authoritative.

My eyes dropped down and I continued to stare at nothing.

"What can be worse than this?" I told her.

She started pacing around me.

"Staying away won't solve any problems. They'll get worse. Your heart is broken and your spirit shattered. It's not hard to see. These can be mended, fixed. With rebuilding strength and baring the bad to find the good." She worded.

I'm...just so tired...

"I don't...I don't know how to bring Brynjolf back. I've never...done this before..." I explained, voicing quivering.

"If you know you can, you can. If you think you can't, you can't. Simple." She explained briefly, though my minds all over the place. It hurts too much to think. But I have no idea who this was. I had...a few assumptions.

"Are...are you Sithis?" I questioned, voice soft and unsure.

She laughed at me.

"What? No! Why...never mind, too fragile for your mortal mind. A child of my order met you in Whiterun some time ago...no?"

I looked down at my hand, still wearing that ring that...that Torvan gave me. Wait...

"You're from...the Crusaders of Verity? The one he was..." I sputtered out.

"Yes that's me. Your heart reached out but with no one to reach to, it reached to me instead." She stated, making hand gestures like a business woman.

"So...you're a spirit stuck in the ring?" I wondered.

She chuckled.

"Sort of...let's just say I sealed a portion of my power inside it. Like an Avatar...but you are really speaking to me."

I didn't understand nor did I want to. I'd prefer I'd be left alone.

"So you have some kind of magic that's supposed to make me feel better?" I scolded.

I saw her head shake as she walked off and turned her back to me.

"No...I'm a guide. I have seen a lot in my time. Nothing really surprises me anymore." She complained, strangely.

"I have...Skyrim's best intentions at heart. I've watched the chaos unfold before you. It's a task I'm willing to undertake."

A task? She was...watching?

"Why didn't you just do something then?" I called out.

"I couldn't. Brynjolf was the first one you reached out when it was tough. He's not here and I'm here because we implanted the idea in your head to call us if it when all else had failed."

I...

…..

don't.

"My real intention is to help you get what you need in order to succeed. You're undermining and not placing value on your skills. So I'm going to ask you two questions. One, what do you need to do?"

I didn't...want to do this. I can't...

"I want...to save Brynjolf and Ayisha...and the world from Alduin." I answered.

The woman nodded.

"Very good. Second question, how are you going to get there?"

I closed my eyes. I don't know! I don't want to... this...

"I am not sure. I'm stuck here. And I have no...no...idea where Brynjolf would be..." I pointed out. I don't know what to do... she stood in front of me with her legs wide and arms crossed.

"Petra, you've helped claim the four main cities as Guild territory. Although Delvin and Vex helped you out but giving you the requests, you've earned the trust back. Which is filled with irony in a field full of flowers of lies. The Guild grew underneath your hidden influence. You cannot see it because you bog yourself down with everything in your life that went wrong. So...how are you going to go about it? You have resources that you brought back. And you should have full access to anywhere." The woman explained. I wondered, had I done enough?

"Don't you know where he is?" I asked.

"No...but you are connected with dozens of people around Skyrim. Speak to your contacts. I would recommend. The battle was lost but the war...the dreaded war still rages out there somewhere."

She spoke, trying to say I was one of the best. But it's not hard to follow orders. Getting there is a bit hard but with Nocturnal you're nearly bound to succeed each and every time.

"You know I would normally try my hardest..but I'm...done...I can't move..."

She squatted down next to me. I could see the outline of her face somewhat. Thin but a bit wide and a somewhat larger than average nose.

"A loss of will to live. You won't believe me but I've felt that once. Not pleasant at all. It's hard to recuperate from but it takes real guts to get yourself moving again. I'll continue...you have automatically accepted this...as the last straw and the last nail...you feel this is the darkest you've ever been, a world clouded and fogged and you cannot see anything because you don't want to. The pain you feel is something waiting to explode. Don't know how many times I have to hammer the thought in your head Petra..."

I...I...

"You are what the Gods chose and chose for a reason! Being Dragonborn is not particularly your first choice. We must pinpoint the very heart of your fears. You consider yourself weak...when you are strong, you fear Dragons but you also fear yourself. Remember you are considered a Dragon yourself and you power is great if not greater than the dragons themselves...this was meant...to take down Alduin and his brothers."

I don't deserve any of that. Look at her, getting up and pacing around me again.

"You have already taken down a sum of the giant immortal beasts and proved to them...they hunt you because they fear you! That's what supposed to happen. They attack you because they're so afraid of dying themselves. That they never had to experience it and for those who have since they're coming back to life, they will never forget a Dragonborn..."

I eat their souls. Big deal...

"Let me tell you the story of the First Dragonborn. He had...formidable power born in the era where Dragons ruled Skyrim. He was one of the most powerful as well. Killed the head of the Dragon Priest order."

I heard about that...that's...

"That's why the Cult hates me...my predecessor killed one of their own..." I worded...

She nodded.

"Yes...but at the same time, this Dragonborn was also a Priest and betrayed the group. The Cult sees you as affront...and the same spirit that killed their leader." She explained.

That's technically impossible but I...understood why they truly hated me.

"The Priests built temples and shrines in the name and glory of their dragon masters. The first Priest was a leader of a group of nords that commanded the slaves to tend. He was politically important figure whom impressed the dragons with his willingness to serve above and beyond the duty, of the Dragon Gods themselves. He was a great tactician and wasn't afraid to kill his own people if they dared to defy the gods in anyway, despite their own tyrannical ruling."

Why hadn't I seen or read any of this? Don't...recall...

"The name was stricken for the records by the nords who took over the first Priests temple. His body was never found, but the Cult...their aim...their purposes. They've waited thousands of years for this moment..."

She seemed so knowledgeable about someone no one actually talks about. I'm aware of the Dragon Priests, IE Krosis, but...this was becoming more complicated.

"So the descendants have been waiting all this time?" I asked.

The woman nodded.

"The scariest part is you do not know who is still part of the Cult. It's really secretive. And they're doing their best to make sure that where they currently are isn't found. Could be anyone. Like Brynjolf's father." She replied.

Should have known. Well, maybe not have known but still...I was still numb, but if I was anyone, I would have been in panic mode. They have eyes and ears everywhere and you can't...you can't tell who's part of it!

"Use your resources to find out, Petra. I promise you that once you're ready, you can take control of yourself and move once more. Do not take too long...but you just need...need to believe Petra. Believe you can and that you will solve it."

I was...beginning to feel again...a type of sadness peaking through the numbness. I swallowed.

"I...just...it's just..."

"I've sent a message out to someone so they can take you home. Either find yourself again Petra...you can do that...or rot in catatonia and feel sorry for yourself. Remember it is your choice."

Choice...choice...my choice.

"Wait...who are you?" I called out as the woman started to walk away.

She smiled, I could see her teeth glistening through.

"I have had many names during my life and have gone through a lot more than you can imagine. So I stick to one that suits me best." She answered.

"You can call me...the Realm-Walker. I will still assist you where you can but in the end, it comes down to what you know you can do and the power to act. Without that power, it's hopeless. Find your spirit again Petra. Investigate...find...choose...act. And you will succeed. I will speak to you again soon..."

Wake Up!

* * *

I faded in and out of consciousness as I heard the cluttering of footsteps and thumping hooves. Shadows overcast me. I still couldn't move...but...

I also heard voices...familiar voices.

"Blimey what happened?" I heard a thick accented voice. I know it...I know it...

"I don't know, Karliah just received a message to pick up some cargo near the border. Didn't expect...well...this..." Sounded sharp and feminine. Knew that one too.

I saw trees rush by and I was somewhat bouncing about.

"I didn't see Bryn with her anywhere...hope he's alright..."

That...Delvin!

"His horse wasn't at the Stables. According to the guys at the Stables the message was attached to her horse. That is one smart horse."

Vex!

I...was somewhat relieved. I'd missed them and the Guild. But...

I don't know...

I fell back into unconsciousness, then slowly woke up, seeing blurs but I could make out the brickwork and gushing sounds of water as laying in my bed in the cistern. More shadows came over me and started talking.

"Shadows! What...what's the meaning of this?"

That soft voice of reason. Karliah...our Guildmaster.

"You sent us to retrieve the cargo as requested boss. We found her there, laying on the ground, bloody. She was just...lying in the middle of bloody road on the way to Cyrodiil..." Delvin explained.

So that's where I ended up.

"No signs of an ambush either. Doesn't sound right." Vex commented.

They moved me.

"Hm...did you see Brynjolf?" Karliah asked them.

Bryn...where are you?

"Nope. I heard she was from Cyrodiil. Maybe she was heading back home?" Delvin suggested.

No..I was betrayed.

"I doubt it Delvin. The girls got something to sort out. If she wasn't with Brynjolf, then he might still be in danger too. Seriously doubt those two would tear themselves apart from one another. Wouldn't be surprised if they're both screwing each other like rabbits."

Subtle Vex. But...she...was right.

About Brynjolf that is...

"I've been hearing stories of increased sightings of Dragons lately. Whether or not that's related is another matter. But my gut tells me that I don't like the looks of this. We'll question her when she wakes up..."

* * *

I waited until they left and opened my eyes. I couldn't move still. But...then my head...it started hurting. Brynjolf, I am...so so sorry...I began to weap. What happened to my realm of darkness where I turned numb. I sobbed. No one needed to see how distraught and weak I was. I am...no longer worthy.

Someone must have heard me as I heard shuffling nearby.

"Petra?" Karliah spoke. I knew she wouldn't have gone far. But she was sitting on the other side, as my back was against her. My body moved as I stuttered from whimpering I couldn't force myself around, the pain was too great that it just...filled my whole body with excruciating guilt and sorrow.

"Petra?"

My throat clogged up again, preventing me from speaking properly.

"Petra what's wrong?"

Everything.

"Where's Brynjolf?"

The fire reacted my nerves and my eyes widened at his name. I shot up from where I was...DON'T SAY HIS NAME...

I got up too fast and fell over off the bed, holding my gut. He must have got me...great another scar to my collection.

"Stop...you're going to undo the stitches if you're not careful."

I had to act...like the Realm-Walker said. But...I froze again and just fell to the ground

Pathetic. Just pathetic.

Karliah helped me back on the bed again, as she looked at me sternly. I could barely look at her in the eye. I went back on the bed and curled up, and stopped crying as I held my was the kin d of stuff you do as a scared kid, not an adult.

But...nothing was going to happen if I didn't do anything. Just stop being whimpy about it Petra. Come on! Enough was enough!

"I screwed up...I couldn't...I couldn't save him..." I admitted.

Karliah's eyes opened more.

"What? Is...is he dead?"

In a sense yes...but..I'd calmed down considerably, willingly so with what I could do at that stage. I needed...I just...be sensible and honest. No matter how out there it sounded, there was no reason for me to lie. if I had to do anything it was to help progress, not hinder it. It's an agonising struggle, but I know I have to do what I hate to get things done.

"I don't know. He'd...he was possessed and tried to kill me...but...it's much more complicated than a simple possession."

Karliah sat by me and rested my head against her side and rubbed my back. It...was a touch nice...a bit of warmth.

''And Nocturnal didn't protect you both?" She asked me.

I bit the side of my mouth.

"She...may have saved me from dying...but. Bryn's situation is dire and I really need your help."

Karliah nodded.

"Of course. Though like you said, it's complicated. But...just tell me what to do and I'll do as much as I can. The Guild still owes you a lot for what you've done."

Orders...me giving the orders? No...not heard of. But...I've been out of my comfort zone enough to get used to it. So might as well get it over and done with. But I'm home.

**Thank Nocturnal I was home. **


	52. Throat

**AN: This was inevitably going to happen, but now it's under different circumstances...quest wise. **

**Chapter 52**

**Throat**

I retreated back to an old spot...the training room. Where no one actually trained, well, not at this time anyway.

I sat in the corner, like the wimp I am, and contemplated. The rummaging of conflicting thoughts swimming around in my head. There's not much I can do but figure out what I have to do.

Brynjolf was gone, I hadn't had much luck with anyone else. Karliah was off busy being Guildmaster and every one else knew to leave me alone. Heh, they must have suspected that me and Bryn were kinda close. I held my knees in and stated into nothing. I'm actually left with nothing. I want to do something though, but having no leads means rubbish.

The Realm-Walker...she...she told me to use my contacts. Contacts that I've made. The fences...the people I've assisted. Ironically. You speak with the right people and you get what you want in the end. They're not the generally most pleasant, but I've put up with much worse.

I'm...I'll be fine. I hope. I know...the curse unending of...my parents death. And the man I love, gone...and the girl I started to care for...vanished. I'm left with nothing much but my own shadow. But, there are those here, still, I can talk to. I'm moving. I'm alive. I'm...grateful.

The positive trail isn't supposed to make you feel fuzzy and warm inside but something to cling on to. I'm the Dragonborn, my role is to do the impossible. May not feel like but I can...I can get there. I have to believe. This is my story and I want to believe.

It's quite the task. I know where I mention that I'm over Mercer or I'm putting everything behind me. It doesn't mean that it won't show up from time to time. It's acknowledging that it happened and to make sure it doesn't get to me that often that I can succeed despite these hardships. That, what ever the world throws at me I can push back twice as hard.

The Shearpoint Dragon proved that. The Kynesgrove Dragon proved that. I'm at a stage with noticeable improvement. I'm shying away to cope and reason with myself. To decide the factors put in so I can get the desired results.

My goal. Is to get both Brynjolf and Ayisha back from where ever they are. I must note that in my head and make it amicable. Strange, I know but if I get the idea in my mind long enough I can trace back from the depths of the darkness that I tend to fall into, and grab hold and pull myself up and try again.

Saying that, it may never always work. But the meaning is to try and to fight. I can...I can do it.

I have to tell myself that.

I finally got myself off the ground and clenched my fist tight. Cling onto your goal Petra and you'll find a way.

I approached Karliah at the desk as she looked up at me. She's a fine Guildmaster, that's for sure. She's getting the respect she deserves. Not to mention she's a fellow Nightingale who can find common ground with.

"Everything alright Petra?" She asked me.

I nodded.

"I should be okay. I must apologise for my actions before. My...mind's been clouded and heavy."

She smiled at me.

"I'm not angry at you for that. I understand wanting to shed away from people. Losing someone is harsh. Losing those you care about is just plain cruel."

I kept forgetting she was in a relationship once with Gallus. She'd lost someone to betrayal and plotted for years to get her revenge. And she's...my boss. Took her a while but she got there eventually. I took that as a great example and inspiration.

"Then you know I need to find him. But I don't...I don't know where to start. I was thinking however, that maybe any of our contacts may have seen him." I told her.

She crossed her arms.

"It's a start. I'll talk with the others about speaking with anyone who may have seen him. But...what will you do in the mean time?"

I hadn't thought as much. But the thought crossed my mind...Arngeir. He...He might know, if not...I could really use some guidance right now.

"I'll be out. Searching myself, but. I still need time to think."

Karliah nodded.

"Okay. Just...be careful. I don't fully understand the whole ordeal myself but. Don't forget the others here will be able to help and I will always be here if you want to talk."

I smiled weakly.

"Th...thanks."

* * *

I'd taken Cody, thankfully my original companion was still with me, to High Hrothgar to speak with the Greybeards to determine the next possible steps. On my trip through the fields of the Rift, I thought to study the topic of the Dragon Priests themselves. I still had the mask of Krosis, whom I had yet to determine it's use, but it definitely had a magical aura about it.

But it was so strange. I thought I was used to be alone but now...it's just empty. My time with Bryn made me more open, but now...people annoy me again. Gods, what I wouldn't give to see his smiling face again.

He was in my forethoughts, along with Ayisha. I will find a way.

I made it to High Hrothgar, heart still heavy but I was moving still. Good.

I found Arngeir in prayer...oops probably not the best time...

"Ah don't worry Dragonborn, we've always got time for you." Arngeir stated, getting up.

My current expression was mostly deadpan, but it was better than just having a appallingly upset face.

"You look troubled. Speak your mind."

I sighed.

"I'd like to pray beside you, if that's okay."

Arngeir grinned.

"Certainly. But still speak with me."

Arngeir was one of those people that you know have years of experience and know's what he's talking about. I sat on my knees before him in the middle of the monastery. You could sense his wisdom without him saying anything. It's obvious well, because he's old and grey...hence, Greybeards. But it also commands respect and admiration. I'm still young but at my age you would think I would be at best knowledgeable and brave. I'm free to admit my cowardice but in my heart, it screams for me to be proactive. It's deep down there I can feel it. When you're riddled with despair and anguish, it grows around that and you're stuck where you are, unable and useless. Like I was before.

To know is one matter. To do is another. They're important to solving this. I was never the best at this, but if I am to make any sort of difference at all, I have to be proactive again, on the move, to think steps ahead.

How much of me, however, is the Dragon spirit taking control and how much is me. Is it my Dragon-self who takes hold when ever there is a critical moment and handles it? Or is just me, Petra, as a person. I asked Arngeir this very question.

"You are your own person Petra, whether you believe there is a reason for your capabilities is because you can do them. Putting other factors in is irrelevant. You are Dragonborn, meaning you would have been like this since birth. Akatosh fathered your spirit, and made you who you are. You would have split moments where it felt like something inside you had come out and conquered, but you've been doing that all your life. You remember these times...do you not?"

I looked at my own hands. Each arrow fire and each swing thrown were within my own hands, driven by fury.

"You are, literally born to do it. Grown to have a natural reaction to use what you know. A fire that is forever lit in your heart that can never be put out. You can be disciplined to use your abilties or not, that is your choice. Occasionally it seems like it may take hold but it's actually where you've made the split decision to do it, not realizing you've made this decision subconsciously."

Subconsciously. I...wanted to. I wanted to do these things. Because maybe I knew I could, but when push comes to shove it had to be done. I needed to do it. That's what it had to be.

"So I've killed dragons not because something took hold of me, but somewhere within me told me to. I had convinced myself to do so despite all the...despair. Because I knew what would happen if I didn't. And by the power of knowing, I am not left with much choice than to take them down because it had to be done." I tried to explain.

Arngeir nodded.

"I figured you had once didn't want to take the responsibility when you didn't come in the reasonable time frame for you to find us. Because you were unsure. But I see you are now within the set mindset you have made for yourself to begin to believe and take it as your own. Petra, do not doubt yourself for a second that you're not able to enact. You do. You only see your own faults..."

(_Blinded by Failure._)

"Take a good look at what you've accomplished. The Gods would not have gifted you and protected you otherwise."

Not to mention having Nocturnal's back has been pretty handy.

"Because they know I can?" I wondered.

Arngeir nodded again.

"Exactly. Do you not find yourself skipping the greater details?"

I started to fidget with my hands. Yeah..I guess...

"Because I'm doing what's expected of me. Why should I give myself praise for doing what I was told to do?

The look on his face became stern.

"Believe it or not, nothing is ever easy. You are told to do a task but not everyone gets it right or triumphs in the ways that everybody expects you to. But when it's done right, it's a rare sight to see. The sense of professionalism in getting the job done is greatly desired by a lot of people. In your case, Dragonborn, finding your destiny is considered unique and unseen by the current generation. That you are satisfying their needs with your disposition, their subconscious opinion on how Dragonborn operate. You are, dispelling the myth and making others believe. It doesn't just go for Dragonborn either. People see you in a better light and actually can trust you to do what's necessary to get the job done. They're...happy...elated that you succeeded where others have failed."

I sort...of understood where he was getting at.

"These people...don't know me very well as a person however. But they already like me because I had already done what they've asked me to do. I guess I can see how that gets their favour. But if you're seen as in the business, that they know that you can offer them that service, isn't in that they expect you to do it anyway? That you can do it irregardless of circumstances?" I questioned.

"We've always sat on the prospects of doubt, loss of hope and uncertainty, as mere mortals finding their way in the world. You rid their doubt, you've earned their appreciation and kindness. As Dragonborn, you prove it to them. Then their eyes will open and they will begin to respect you."

I just...just didn't think...

"It's not to say you need to boast your deeds. It gives people the right idea about you, through word of mouth. Bolsters your reputation. But, you're not highly arrogant about your abilities, which is Dragons themselves have always been high strung and arrogant in their powers, simply because of what they are and what they can do. You role is you're more of a Dragon of humility. To teach them a lesson."

I think I remember that part. I am one of them incarnate, born to serve as their antithesis.

"But don't forget yourself in the role. The Gods made you to allow you be who you are. They're rewarding you for your efforts. I told you before on how your dragon spirit reacts to certain events. To you, that is natural. Always will be. It is a part of you."

To be me the coward or to be the one who questions the Gods logic? Maybe. I aim to make my own purpose and to be allowed to be who I am. I am supposed to be Dragonborn but Arngeir states that I am allowed room to grow as a person. I...I see that now.

"I am simply wary of burdens placed on me. But you say that's okay?" I asked.

"Yes." The Greybeard answered.

"The Gods know that you have limitations. That's a purpose. But you can evolve. It's a journey that has lots of complications but in the end, it's about what you want and how you can get it without compromising who you are."

I know what I want. But I will not take the paths that Mercer took, what the Dragons took and I will certainly not let Prolg's or the Cult's plan change that. I won't let them.

"You will find when you'll accept that, Dragonborn. Many have come here questioning the very thing to discover their purpose...or to find enlightenment."

I certainly feel enlightened though. But I will continue to be myself but also want to improve myself. That's a definite. These times are difficult. I've seen and helped the Guild grow again. That, is a great achievement that I always undermine. I vastly underestimate myself because, like Arngeir said, I know my limitations. But if I stay me and have confidence, I will...I will be able to find truth within.

"So...you're not sure of yourself just yet...that's okay. You will. But I suspect you're here for more than a philosophical discussion about a sense of self. Your eyes speak more than your lips."

I couldn't hide it.

"Out of all the people, we'd met up with Brynjolf's father..." I admitted.

His eyes widened.

"You met up with Prolg? Then what happened?"

I told Arngeir everything from Kynesgrove, to Shearpoint and finally the borders of Skyrim and Cyrodiil. My heart ached from describing the most painful of moments. My throat clogged up towards the end and my eyes watery.

"The Cult...got Brynjolf...he's not...he's not..."

I just let myself weep. The very thought...his voice, those eyes...

"Your tears explain well enough Dragonborn. I had suspected Prolg had ties to the Cult for a long time. Unfortunately I didn't have enough proof. The only thing I had was a letter...saying where the book was and that expect the Dragonborn to ask for it. But...now I know why..."

I nodded.

"I do not have much information for you of where the Cult or Brynjolf might be. But, you may be able to speak to our leader, Paarthurnax about it."

My eyes widened.

"Truly?" I said with shock.

Arngeir rubbed his beard.

"I was going to wait until you were ready to allow you to meet him in his usual spot on the peak of the Throat, but now I see where now, of all times, it's getting too dangerous to allow the Dragon Priests to return at full strength. Paarthurnax should be able to answer those questions for you. We can still advise you as best we can, but are you, ready within yourself to go on?" He asked.

I nodded with certainty.

"I am. I must consider all possible options with any cost. I will speak with Paarthurnax."

I said with confidence and assurance.

Arngeir smiled.

"Good...now the road to the top is perilous. If you follow me outside, I will teach you a new shout..."

* * *

Didn't think it'd be that bad. But, hey, he's the Greybeard and I'm the amat-...okay, think positive. I am just the lowly...no that's not positive enough. I am a professional thief, with the gift of Dragonblood who will get better with time and teaching. There...good...feel better now.

Arngeir taught me and gave me his understanding of a unique shout, that looks interesting...

Clear Skies... to help clear the way to Paarthurnax. This Greybeard, the leader apparently, lives in seclusion on the very top. I wonder if he ever comes down. Seriously, even I wouldn't want to be THAT isolated.

Arngeir looked at me with a assured expression.

"We all have faith in you, Dragonborn. You know to be cautious, always. Keep that in mind."

I nodded in acknowledge and headed towards the gateway with the fast brisk, nearly magical freezing wind before me. I looked at it, feeling it's chill, even for a Nord. I inhaled deeply...

"Lok...VAL KOOR!"

The power of the shout cleared the way, revealing the path set before me.

Here we go...

As I made the climb, there were few more of these mystical gusts of wind that I dispelled quickly and I encountered a few frost wraiths and a troll, but I took them down rather quickly. I am capable...these creatures are never easy. I see...I see that now as well. To find those who were a challenge that are now easier to fight, is telling of my own levels of power altogether.

I am born for many reasons and I am here, alive, still alive despite everything. I am given these as tools to use for my own survival and I am, determined to utilise them as best as I can. This is who I am, I am Petra...thief, stealer of valuables and dragon souls. Amusing title indeed. If I am to feel good about myself, I must point out all the feats that I have undertaken and determine whether they were considered a task once considered impossible but then proven otherwise.

For confidence is key to finding and helping Brynjolf and Ayisha and taking down the Cult of Slaughter for their treachery. This is what I must do, I have to do it. The goal is in my head and I will see it through. No matter what.

I made it to the top, seeing a snow-veiled dragon wall and looked beyond the mountain to see the majority of Skyrim before me. I was captivated by the beauty of it. It...was...refreshing, scary and breathtaking.

Only if Brynjolf were here to see it with me. And Ayisha would love it too, no doubt.

* * *

I heard wings flapping and...the reaction was expected as I froze. No... no...no no no no no not here, not now! I didn't need this! Why? Why? Why? Ugh! Please...just...

I turned around as I heard the creature land before me. Odd, they normally never land first. They usually land when they've been greatly injured...but...

This one looked old...and grey and had looked like he'd seen better days, his wings tattered. I gulped as I stared at him, stuck in the moment. I wanted to get myself to do what I did before at Shearpoint, but...I had to be adamant and want even if I despised it and feared it so. But his aura, his stance just seemed different to all the dragons' I'd encountered. The word I would use, would be...

Warm...

Ironic.

"Drem Yol Lok. Greetings, wunduniik. I am Paarthurnax. Who are you? What brings you to my strunmah ... my mountain?" He spoke, voice low, old, loud and wise.

I blinked. He...wasn't attacking me? He sat that with his head tilted, awaiting a response. But I couldn't open my mouth. I would have gone catatonic again. Using Karliah's words, it's just plain cruel. I wanted to avoid this, but again, I know...but odd feelings were piled on top. His name...hmm...

"Do not be afraid, goraan gein. I am a dovah, a dragon yes, but I am unlike the rest. I serve as master for the Greybeards."

Wait...yes. Paarthurnax. The one Arngeir told me to speak to. But...he was a dragon? I lowered my head in a feeble attempt to bow it. My breath was heavy and burdened. Why wasn't I told this? What the...no...Gods please, don't make me...why? Just...

"You...hmm...I should have expected this. Krosis...I have seen that reaction before. faas do dovah, fear of dragons..."

He knows, he's seen it, felt it, known it previously, suspecting his previous victims. But, he was like Arngeir in that respect. The air of wisdom and experience surrounded him. I am not meant to give in to the phobia, but...his very image was striking. I gulped as the symptoms made themselves known...feeling ill, the sweats. Yes, it was all still there.

But he was busying studying me, not attempting to attack. I can't...I can't shake it.

"It is wise not to trust a dovah...but Arngeir, and others, save their breaths to protect me. But I will make good on my honour to not attack you. For it was I, who helped teach mortal kind learn how to use shouts."

So...there are...good dragons?

I tried fighting off my phobia like I did before, I made one step forward. His size made it difficult to amend anything. But I could now at least manage to open my mouth...

"I...I was...was told...you...you could help me?" I stuttered. I had to be strong and make myself work. I was still stunned at his stillness, calm. Not a wind of anger within him. You'd think I'd be calmer? You're wrong. Still...conflicted.

"Help you? Maybe...what is it that you need help with hm?"

I pursed my lips. Petra, just...just do it.

"I need...help...with...with find-finding the Cult...of...S-Slaughter."

He stretched his neck and wings.

"Zaag do Kriind? Hmm...ahh the descendants of the Dovah Priests. Yes, they were formidable...the most powerful mortals that lived during the War, empowered by us to enslave mortal kind. I have not kept track with them for some time..."

Great...stuck up here with this ancient dragon embarrassing myself with asking questions that obviously had no tangible answer. It wasn't so much that he was being civil with me, it's just the phobia's tendency to just know what the dragon is capable of and the memories of Helgen flood back to me in many ways. To me they're just...Gods...

"Hmmm...I sense something within you...you...are you Dovahkiin."

I gulped. Oh no...no...I shook my head...no no no...please...

My breathing got heavier.

"Your spirit burns brightly, yet you shy away. You see me as a dragon irregardless. I will not harm you Dovahkiin. For you are Dovah yourself. Zu'u los hin soskiin, I am your brother..."

Brother? What in Nocturnals name was he on about?

"You are...our younger...though joor, mortal, no need to fear family."

Family...

My family's...gone...

But he was looking at me...as his...sister? I don't know...

"To prove I am willing to help you, Dovahkiin, There are formalities that must be observed, at the first meeting of two of the dov. By long tradition, the elder speaks first. Hear my Thu'um! Feel it in your bones. Match it, if you are Dovahkiin!"

I watched as he moved to face the word wall, shouting a flame into it. He turned his head to me, and nudged his head to usher me closer.

"Come...read it...inherit the flames of our brethren."

Each step required more effort than the last, taking deep breaths. Go Petra...do it...

I eventually made it to the word wall itself and inspected the word It absorbed into me.

Like the Greybeards, Paarthurnax granted me...his understanding of the word, Yol.

"A gift, Dovahkiin. Yol. Understand Fire as the dov do. Now, show me what you can do. Greet me not as mortal, but as dovah!"

He...wanted me to shout on him? I...I don't know...my throat is locked up so tight with anxiousness.

"Do not worry..." He told me.

I nodded. I took one long deep breath and shivered before I shouted.

"_**YOL!**_"

I surprised myself with the barrage of flames that surrounded Paarthunax briefly. He didn't appear hurt, but he spread his wings again, overjoyed by the looks of it.

"It's been long since I had a tinvaak with a dovah. The dovah sos, the dragonblood runs strong within you."

Still had doubts but coming from a dragon, it felt like it had more confirmation. Still...

He did help me learn. I just never thought a good dragon would ever exist. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I wanted to trust him as a Greybeard, but couldn't because he was a dragon.

"So...you want to find the Cult of Slaughter hmmm? First, tell me...you are dovah...why do you fear your own kind?"

I held my arm in. I really didn't want to tell the story again.

"Helgen..." I managed to stammer out. Gods help me.

"Hmmm...yes...I heard about that. In fact, I had heard Alduin heading in that direction. You must have encountered him there yes?" He asked me.

I nodded.

"Krosis. I apologise that you had to go through with that. Had I known you were there, I would have gone to help out. But...alas...I must stay here. Meditation proceeds me. What I can tell you however about the Zaag do Kriind, the Cult of Slaughter was that they were created in secret after Alduin had been cast upon the currents of time. They...had somehow known that he would return someday as his role as the Lein Nakaan, the World Eater. The Priests left behind were sealed but their families were hiding in secret, not wanting that fate. I recall a Dragonborn during those times, back when no one of us knew the real power of this individual, had slain the Head Priest, Zoklotinhaar and fled. The Cult looked after his family knowing one day, that he would return to serve Alduin and take back Keizaal, known to you as Skyrim."

I nodded with haste.

"Yeah...yeah...well...my friend...has been possessed, possibly by that priest." I informed him,

Paarthurnax looked downwards, deep in thought.

"And that does not bode well with anyone. Zoklotinhaar is very powerful. Your friend...yes...it is said that he would return for his Dragon master, as Alduin's favored. He was...taught different thu'um than anyone else. Unique to him, taught by Alduin."

I had to know...

"I...have to find him before...it's...it's too late..." I continued to stutter. Different thu'um meant trouble.

"Of course. Hmm...like I said, I do not know where, but I do know who you can speak to...have you ever heard of the Laaglein?" He asked me.

I shook my head.

"Hm...I suspected. It is, a world beyond our own. A dream world. Where you can find the jen dovah, the amethyst Dragons."

Never heard of them. Interesting.

"They have had contact with the ancients nords during their eternal slumber. However it has gone krent, unstable. I can get you there...you must sleep however. Do not fear the Jen Dovah. Did you know a dovahs name is made up of three dragon shouts? One dovah that roams the suleyksejun, Hahnubopraan...should be able to help you find the Cult. Hear his name on your tongue!

_Hahnu! Bo! Praan!_"

Didn't need much to understand there. Summoning a dragon...hehe...yeah...looking forward to that...not...

"How...how will I get there?" I asked.

Paarthurnax ushered himself into the curl of the wordwall, as if shielding himself from the wind. Must be a pretty old dragon then. He then raised one of his wings at me.

"It requires drem, peace, and patience. You would have had access to it, but not call upon the dovah who tends to it. But, if you rest your head here, underneath my wing, I will give you the influence needed to go to the dream you need to find yourself in to get closer to Hahnubopraan."

What? No...no way!

"Is...is that the only way?" I questioned, not really wanting to even touch a dragon if I didn't have to.

"You would...but your fear of us pushes you away. The Laaglein detects this, and rejects you entering the realm. A dovah can help you, but I do not think they would be as equally hospitable as this old dovah."

I gulped and fidgeted. Come on Petra, just...try...if you don't try you won' t know if you'll succeed. This can be another step in combating the phobia. Paarthurnax is the nicest dragon you'll ever meet. You fear his image, his species but not him as an individual, see reason Petra...just...

Again, more steps with effort required as I got closer to him. My heart was beating extremely quickly and my stomach twisted, but I wasn't going to hurl. After Kynesgrove made it a bit easier, but still reluctant.

I had to lay myself underneath his wing, wary if touching him was going to set anything off. I set up a roll and rested. I didn't want to close my eyes, simply just because. I don't have to explain.

"Pruzah gluus ahrk praan vahk, Dovahkiin. Good luck and rest easy."

I eventually forced myself to close them and huddle myself in as Paarthurnax lowered his wing.

Thank Akatosh for having at least one decent son.


	53. Laaglein

**AN: This chapter required some research and a lot of originality, I think. Read on!**

**Chapter 53**

**Laaglein**

I didn't really feel like I was asleep. But when you wake up and the sky has a greenish tint to it for some reason, you often wonder if you're dead instead. This was a dream world, so it's subject to randomness anyway. Open fields with mountains scattered in on the horizon. Lots of trees and lush green gas. The air had a slight chill to it, but it was warmer than the average temperatures of Skyrim. Where ever I was, it definitely had that abnormal aura to it.

I wandered around, trying to suss out where I had to go. Was I supposed to call out this dragon here? Now? I wasn't sure. The land seemed endless. The world had an odd glow to it as well. It was surreal. I'd lost myself in the nearby forest, with trees that grew to the heights of mountains and day turned into night. The torchbugs scattered themselves around the trunks, with whispers scittering within.

I kept walking, hearing the rush of a creek nearby. Purple flowers dotted sides of the riverbed and I decided to follow the path alongside it. The flowers seemed to light up as I went past them, strangely enough. Beyond the path and into the thicker parts of the forest I could see bright yellow eyes staring at me, then disappearing.

I wasn't alone...

For such a place to exist...a world unheard of. Paarthurnax described it as where the ancient nords once dreamed. I don't know. Whether or not this is just normal or otherwise. But it was uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. I was allowed my own weapons in here so I brought forth my bow and prepared myself for anything that might cross my path the obvious intent to harm. I wasn't sure what to expect. The whispers got louder, until I felt a chill on the back of my neck...oh Gods...

In a quick motion I got an arrow and spun around to see what was there. Of course, nothing was, but I was becoming increasingly paranoid.

I upped the pace a little. My ears caught on the tiniest of sounds. The only notable creatures around with the torchbugs. Where exactly...am I? The trees themselves, I'd just noticed, had art etched into them, the patterns suggesting a familiar nord pattern like you'd find in the tombs and crypts that contained the Draugr. I guess I'm in the right place? I could see orbs of a white light darting above me at high speed and leaving little trails that faded within a few seconds. My guess was they may have been the spirits that lived in this placed. The wind picked up, but, it was an odd slow wind that played around with the leaves, making them pick up and wave about at the same pace. It did the same to my hair as I grabbed the end of my ponytail to inspect it. It was, akin to swimming underwater except...

I began to see pieces of old ruins popping out of the ground. Whether it was rock-built archway, small tables half-buried in the ground. I had to be close. I froze as I watched a blue aura drift past from one side of the path to the other, brisk in a strange mist. I waited until in walked by, and I continued to walk down the path when I saw another coming from the other side. When I had the courage, just kept going until I found an open area, rounded with a broken ancient nordic ruins. These auras...perhaps ancient spirits, gathered there with the torch bugs. Actually talking to each other it seemed.

But they hardly acknowledging me being there and appeared to be the source of the indecipherable whispers. I was stunned trails of a silver substance seem to rise from the ground and into the wrinkles, the bark and the patterns on the redwood trees, going to the endless canopy and started to shimmer. I heard...chiming. I really was dreaming.

"It is subject to strange occurrences that would never occur in real life. The Silvercore Forest is one of many amazing places in the Laaglein." A strong, familiar voice spoke from behind me. I turned to see the red-cloaked woman.

"Realm-Walker?" I muttered, recognizing the figure before me as she stood there.

She approached me, and I was able to see the lower parts of her head, seeing her smile.

"Do you see the spirits? They speak, they mingle amongst themselves. The sons and daughters of an age long past."

Spirits...hmm...

"Are you sure we're not in Sovngarde?" I asked.

She shook her head, teeth shining somehow as she grinned.

"The Laaglein is unheard of to a lot of people because it's just where you end up in your dreams. Explaining the general idea to you is like me trying to explain the visuals of Aetherius. It's indescribable. The spirits are here because they are. They are because of the world they dreamed of is long gone. I take it you're here to see the Amethyst Dragon?"

I looked away. I still wasn't completely understanding the whole meaning of this. This world was beautiful in it's...peculiar way, but I just had to figure out what I had to do.

"Yeah. I...I was given a shout to call him, but I don't know where to go..."

She stood next to me and crossed her arms. She still had that mystic sense about her. Not looking as old as Arngeir or Paarthurnax but I was willing to listen.

"Hmm...this world does get complicated with it's real purpose and how it operates. The Amethyst Dragons have been the guiders of this world since it's original inception. Some say Akatosh gave this world to them since they were youngest dragon species threatened with extinction from their dragon cousins, but that's just a stupid rumour. There are a select few who know of the Laaglein and are intent to study it completely, but only know a fraction of the details. I guess you're one of the first that can finally reveal it's existence..."

I rose an eyebrow at her.

"People come here to dream don't they? How do they not know?" I asked, curious as to why no one knew about it.

"It's not unlike Apocrypha, the realm of Hermaeus Mora, where one comes for knowledge. For mortal kind today it's difficult to reach since it's said to react to the state of one's mind when they sleep. Those who fear the dragons cannot enter it. Which speaks for nearly everyone, but even then, without those fears. The chances are very slim that you'll ever get to visit it without the influence of those who know it well. So, naturally, since hardly anyone knows of or how to get to it, no one ever sees it in their lifetimes and it is left forgotten in the minds of their ancestors."

Instead it all flew over my head, but I understood some of it.

"This...is this a plane of Oblivion?" I wondered.

The Realm-Walker shook her head again and chuckled. Hey, just because no one tells me these things earlier, there is no need to find it amusing.

"No...there are planes of Oblivion and there the planes of Aetherius that hardly anyone speaks about. What you need to know is there are places that balance out and are made to contain the strands of power and structure to keep the worlds flowing. Some last forever, some may last a second. You can call it the Gods at work from keeping your realm, Mundus, as stable as it must be."

I gave her a strange look. Now we're getting more technical. Such a wealth of knowledge...I just had to know...

"Then where do you come from?" I asked her.

She chuckled. Ugh.

"Never you mind. My world is one of wonder, but I don't think you'll be able to just knock on the door and expect to come in. Maybe in time..." She answered, cryptically as always.

I sighed.

"So do you actually know where to find this dragon so I can call him or..."

The Realm-Walker rubbed her chin in thought.

"Yes, don't think I don't know. While anyone who ends up coming here can actually end up anywhere. No real symbolism as to why. Nothing's connected other than your mind and soul, but...if like I said, you can be influenced that you may end up nearby the source of an influential target. Next time you'd arrive you would end up somewhere else. It happens. What you're looking for, is the Temple of Akatosh...most of the Amethyst Dragons gather there in times of need. They're often scattered amongst the near infinite lands, but they are dragons...they will come if you call."

We kept walking through the rest of the forest...she explained Silvercore Forest is where the old spirits gather, that much was enough. That without guidance or favor that one can get lost in the wilderness and find themselves unable to escape. As suspected, a lot of them were souls of the ancient nords. I just kept thinking Sovngarde but...  
I could see a light in the distance, the end of the track. Coming across it, was an open valley filled with numerous waterfalls, where the creek I had followed poured into the mists of the very depths of the valley itself. The clouds in the sky followed a curled pattern, a structure that I'd never seen them before, and had a sparkling shine to it, cast down from the superficial sun.

How could no one discover such a place, without noting any of the details down?

"A mind of an individual, their lives...balanced or unbalanced, will show in this realm. Your heart is your guide and only you can find the way. I cannot take you there." She told me.

I shook my head again. What was she on about? I just want to do this...I had to find Bryn! Where...

I stood back as water from the streams just rose up from the base of the waterfall, strangely aligning itself into a line above us and froze...no it didn't just...freeze. It was a line of water that just stopped. But then it did harden into ice, but then the flow of water just...continued to stream underneath it. Like...a floating river.

Steps formed before us. I looked at the Realm-Walker who nodded at me to take make the first attempt. I took a deep breath and placed one foot on the shard of ice.

It was surprisingly stable. I went up slowly at first, but then made my way up to the floating river stream and began to walk across it.

It was...amazing..and breath taking. We were literally above the entire valley. The river flowed further, extending the path as we kept walking. Just...wow...I'd tucked away my bow and looked upon the blessing with both eyes wide open. I wasn't afraid of heights normally, but this...this was some wonderful magic. I could see down into the depths of the valley beneath us, closer to the green-blue sky above us and amongst the clouds.

"Laaglein is said to have a mind of its own. It must have sensed the desperation within you and transformed itself to cater to your needs. Fascinating. Doesn't do that for everyone. It must know you're special." The Realm-Walker explained.

This world was definitely odd, but extremely beautiful. My heart was beating fast but my mind felt...clearer. I would never comprehended anything as such but...

"You know where the goal lies. Your intentions...your heart bleeds with it and that's the most influential magic of all." She continued.

The path ended up rising itself into the clouds themselves, interestingly enough. It took us a while to actually see, until we had risen above them. The path stopped, slipping downwards into it's own, sky waterfall, but then the clouds dissipated, revealing a large stone platform. It had interesting details of dragons battling it out as it branched towards another platform made of marble. The Realm-Walker ushered us on to a stone wall, with a large brass gate. This...just seemed weird.

"I wouldn't enter that..." She suggested.

"But it's bringing it you...hmm...I think it's just telling you what's happened. I see..ahhh makes more sense now."

I scratched my head. Yeah...forgive my ignorance.

"There's a theory about a concept known as the Dreamsleeve. A mortal spirit that is destroyed but it's essence reused and reborn into another being. Take that as a key point there Petra..."

Sigh...still over my head.

"What of it?" I questioned.

"A spirit divided...and born again. Fascinating. Don't mind me...the Laaglein is only showing you a possibility of a powerful magic misused. I figured that a door way would be open here. But you're still alive Petra...you don't need to enter it just yet."

I groaned. More technicalities.

"Yeah yeah I get it...it's mysterious and my mind can't handle the very topic of it. I've come across that a lot lately. Don't know why I'm still surprised by it." I spoke with annoyance and sarcasm.

The Realm-Walker smirked.

"Discovery of new worlds is always a conversation starter. But you're right, you do get that numb feeling after a while. Then tend to forget not everyone has seen these things. I handle this stuff all the time...and no, you cannot ask me questions about my previous expeditions."

Damn it.

I looked to the left, seeing the clouds showing off a large temple. I tilted my head. It was made or the same silver with curled spirals. Hmmm... this was more...of church however, large wooden doors that guarded entry.

We wandered towards it, realizing it was nearly the same height as the trees at Silvercore Forest. We entered inside, revealing a chapel, with your benches and a giant stained glass window at the back, a picture of a lady with blue wavy hair and cradling a bird while wearing robes. The rest of the area was decorated with dozens of lit candles and wreaths, a sweet smelling aroma scenting the air.

"So this is the Temple of Kynareth. Actually explains a lot." Realm-Walker explained.

"Your spirit is being influenced by belief of the Goddess of the Sky. No...makes perfect sense..."

She had her hands behind her back, being all smug. I rolled my eyes.

"If it makes sense why won't you tell me what it's all about then hmmm?" I questioned her.

Then there was that stupid smirk of hers.

"It's fine. It's not relevant for now. We're in the wrong area, but it's not to say that it can't impart some wisdom while we're here."

I stood next to her, glancing at the picture still.

"Such as?" I said with a raised eyebrow.

"Kynareth was the one who gifted mortal kind with the thu'um in order for men to defeat Alduin. It's the same story everyone knows about by now. Or at least those who care about the Gods enough. An influence brought you here, like I said. But your heart will still lead you in the right direction. Where will you go?"

An influence...I wouldn't know. I was with Paarthurnax...that's about it. I'm not huge on the Gods, just enough to keep what ever faith I can.

I walked up the window, seeing Kyraneths usual shrine and went on my knees before it. A prayer. A simple prayer to allow me to find my way. I have to find the Temple of Akatosh. This is what I must do. I have to do it. Brynjolf's and Ayisha's lives depend on it.

I heard chanting and whispers as I pressed my hands together, intent on the hearth to my soul and visage. To claim what was stolen...

"Petra...you might want to look up..."

I tilted my head up to see...dragon words, written on the wall beneath the window. A sentence with several words with their ethereal vibe...I know this...this...what?

"Zu'u vel wah lok, kolos zii _**bo**_. Hil tol vis _**vond**_ voth nid faas, ol lokraan do _**uft.**_" The Realm-Walker spoke fluently in their language. I could sense that damnable smirk again.

"Well, this got a little bit more interesting."

I grumbled. I absorbed the words and know them, but I do not...what?

I looked up at the stain glass window, with the head of Kyaneth giving off an irregular glow. Tendrils of the spiritual power were sent towards me, like I had slain a dragon, or...like the Greybeards were giving me the understanding...

_**Bo...Vond...Uft...**_

Fly...Soar...Feather.

I looked my hands...my prayer. Had...Kynareth heard my plea? I understood the words and felt the meaning within me. I was hesitant to believe it but I definitely heard it inside my very spirit. I can...I can shout it.

I turned to the Realm-Walker, who just kept smiling at me. I rolled my eyes.

"So...gotta any 'cryptic' advice about this?" I said sarcastically.

She shrugged.

"You've been given a chance there Petra. The Laaglein will only guide you where your heart desires. Stop questioning it already. You know the shout...use it...seriously, how many times must I repeat mysel?"

Hmm...she was right. I got up on my feet, and went outside...

* * *

I stood on the edge of the platform, looking at the clouds around me. The power of this shout...it had to work, I know it would work. But how would I use it? Had can I use it...the power of my desire drove the world to suit my needs. What I truly wanted. So tell me...I have to find Brynjolf but something tells me that's just going to be impossible. You know what I want Laaglein. I want to find that dragon...the Amethyst Dragon...

Show me the way...

I had waited for a moment, but nothing really happened. I sighed with disappointment. This meant I had to enact. Perhaps using the shout would help.

Something told me that this shout wasn't used as often to the Dragons if it did what I thought it did. There was only one way to find out. I inhaled deeply and hoped I wasn't going to regret it.

"**Bo...Vond Uft!**"

An explosion of energy swarmed around me as I felt the power enchant me greatly. I could feel an extension protruding out of my back. Extra limbs...yes...this...is...

I folded the limb in front of me...seeing conjured dragon-like wings, the colour of fire and passion and my body supported by it. My whole body was covered in the vigor of the shout's incredible ability.

I flapped my wings a few times to get used to it. I...I can...

I took a few steps back and reminded myself I was dreaming...yes...come on Petra...

I charged forward and took a huge leap, diving downwards. I could feel the sting of the wind on my face but it felt...good...it felt great letting myself fall. The clouds just raced past me, going through the tunnels of the mist. I folded my wings in to let the speed increase. This...was incredible.

I was one as a dragon, as dragonborn that with this there was nigh a difference besides the status of our spirits. I fluttered a few times, though the sound I used to hate sounded much better than from myself than from the ones I fear so much. But it was...astounding. Riveting. I was becoming what the phobia had forced me to react to, the inevitable roars and the constant flapping of wings and the vibrations that shook the foundations of the earth. I was...that...

I passed the clouds altogether, coming across and flying above a large mountain. Birds barely dodged me as I was falling with increased velocity. It was then I realized gravity was working against me...and I actually had to slow down.

I panicked and started flapping my wings rapidly. I'd...never flown before and it may take some time getting adjusted to flying as the dovah do. This was embarrassing! Come on...get a grip...Gods!

I was all over the place. Extra limbs don't come easy. Come on...

I could see a huge statue of a dragon, with a sword, not unlike the shrine of Akatosh. That had to be the place. I had to quickly adjust myself and calm myself down to make sure I didn't actually kill myself here. Being in a dream had nothing to do with it. It's a natural reaction...because hey, mankind is normally not meant to fly is it?

Then...let's just say my landing wasn't as graceful as I wanted it to be. I slowed down which was great, but I ended up nearly face first in the dirt nearby, and instead rolled down the steps of the place.

It was a tall building, made of white stones and pillars and it just radiated the aura. I was on the ground mind you, since this was just...a more imposing view at least. I got myself up and dusted my armour down. I was okay...

I could see the skies blue with vigilance and the sun was more empowered and spiritual than before, enveloping me with it's warmth. The Temple itself, adorned with more dragon décor and a large sundial in the middle of the front patio, which in itself was extremely large with a protective fence and opal-coloured tiles. The design looked like something out of Cyrodiil.

"Down with such grace, Dragonborn." The Realm-Walker mocked as she stood there, leaning against one of the pillar, still with that irritating smug look on her face.

I just glared at her.

"Shut it you. I've never done that before." I told her outright.

She shrugged.

"You know it just comes with practice Petra..." She explained.

I shook my head with disbelief.

"Did you know there was a shout like that?"

She lifted her chin.

"Perhaps. I'm just going to get secretive again and say there are possibilities out there for shouts you'll never learn in your short, mortal life. The Dragon wing shout is a relatively close guarded one. It was either Kynareth or the Laaglein who gifted you with it. Or could have been both who most likely coerced and decided you actually need it. But look around you. Do you think you would have come on this mountain top by foot?"

My brow furrowed as I leaned over the fence, seeing the extreme steepness of the snow covered peak, and looking at low clouds before me. I hated to admit she was right.

"So I'm here. So...do I call the dragon now?" I questioned, getting a bit impatient.

She clasped her hands together and for once looked at me seriously.

"If you wish. Only question baring down...are you able to put your fear aside to converse with it?"

I looked down at my hands again. Paarthurnax was evidence enough that they can be negotiated with and that some were even intelligent enough to speak with. Was this...Amethyst Dragon the same? Can it be...trusted? Can I trust myself to be able to push through the phobia and reach an understanding. I have tell myself to see them as people, as sentients and not mindless beasts of fire and blood.

I never want to intentionally meet a dragon. Only...I know it's going to inevitable like it was in Kynesgrove. If I am to defeat Alduin, I must be able to let myself be who I am supposed to be and not the worthless creature I was before. I must instill my heart with honour, pride and courage to defeat my enemies and treat them all the same, irregardless. I stand at Akatosh's temple, so he must be watching me right now and know that his spirit-daughter would be able to prevail.

I swallowed my pride and nodded.

"I will...I'll try..." I said, still a bit worried, but giving it one step at a time is something I can deal with now.

"Very well. When ever you're ready..."

I tried psyching myself up for it, clearing my throat and waiting for the right time to make the call. I've never met dragons like these, for they have not been described by anyone else other than Paarthurnax and the Realm-Walker in somewhat small detail. The Gods placed me here on trial, vulnerable and confused. A power, awakened within me and is used as a tool.

I am meant for this.

I breathed in again to make sure...

"_**Hahnu...Bo Praan!**_"

The power of the shout escalated around me. I awaited in nervous anticipation and told myself that I wasn't going to regret it...

I heard a roar, that always proceeds their arrival. Calm yourself Petra...breath... You were good with Paarthurnax...should this one be willing to talk as well and not attack?  
I took deep breaths and had to convince myself over and over again in my head that this will be okay, it will be okay. Come on... I heard the wings flapping...that...I know...is just as terrifying as it normally is, but you need to stand your ground. Just...do it.  
I could see the glistening scales of violet as they were shining in the sunlight. How could I be as majestic as a dovah if I end up face planting with my landing. First time flying...I'd wager most would do the same.

It nestled down in front of me. It's bright white eyes of mysticism...staring at me, judging me.

"Ahh...Dovahkiin. I had long waited for the day you would call me. Zu'u los hahnu kiin, I have dwelt in the in the Laaglein since Akatosh created me and my brothers. I lead the jen dovah to maintain this realm."

I nodded and swallowed my pride.

"I have seen your dreams and what lurks within your heart. Hi lost neilaas nau kiindahqaar and lived on instinct Dovahkiin. You should be proud of what you are."

I breathed heavily as I stood there with my arms stuck by my sides. Last thing I wanted to do was to intimidate him in anyway.

"The one you call, Paarthurnax, my brother, has guided you here to me. Old, wise dovah who was in part to the reason why Alduin is here. While the others would complain, I have seen reason by the one spirit who calls herself here, the Kaaz who escapes here from the dredges of the mortal plain. A...decision that is not taken lightly..."

The Kaaz?

I heard the doors to the Temple open, there I could see a figure, clad in black and silver lined robes, wearing a silver circlet with two sapphires and a diamond. As she came closer, her robes showed moon like decal and shoulder pads with crescents. I know that face...I know that tiny stature. My face lit up.

"Ayisha!"

Her face lit up too. Dear Talos...how?

"Mama!"

I was so elated as she ran towards me, I knelt down as she jumped into my arms and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her.

"The Kaaz has been most useful. Her position as Raziir makes her...unique...special to her people. Zii strin wah suleyksejun fein zok. Her spirit connects to us easier."

I let the tears flow...she was okay...I'm happy...I'm...

"So sorry Ayisha...I..." I wept.

She smiled at me and nuzzled her face into my neck.

"It's okay Mama. Ayisha is fine. But she is stuck." She told me.

My face turned to worry.

"What is it? Where are you?"

She looked down, depressed.

"Papa took us to a secret place. Lots of people around us. Lot's of chanting...they're doing something horrible with Papa...you have to help us."

I rubbed her shoulder. Poor thing was in tears. She didn't need to be subjected to this. I had to know.

"Listen to me, Ayisha, Mama will work this out okay? Just tell me...where are you?"

I wiped away her tears and stroked her furry cheek.

"They took Ayisha and Papa to...some place. An Island to the north. It's impossible to get to by walking. You must take a boat there. Ayisha remembers a boat. But...they will attack you if you arrive. So many guards..."

An island...hmm...yes...I looked down as I thought of something. The shout...yes...I patted her head.

"That's fine Ayisha. That's a brave girl to tell me that. I promise to look for you when we get there and make sure you and papa come home safely okay?"

Ayisha smiled weakly and sniffed. I hugged her to give her more assurance and I felt fuzzy inside as she hugged me back. I missed her greatly.

"I know of that island she speaks of. Fellnir Island. Krah himdah. A cold land. Harsh. I should have suspected they would have set up there. It was where the Dovahkiin of the Dvoah Kein had slain the Head Priest. A giant fortress is set up there. You must be...cautious." The Dragon warned me.

I nodded. I felt stronger with Ayisha with me, but I'd bet she wouldn't have time here for long. I had a few questions to ask.

"You said...that Ayisha is a Raziir. What does that entail exactly?" I asked.

Hahnubopraan bowed his head.

"Ahh...yes. We do not know much about the Kaaz, or the Khajiit. But they rever themselves in their wisdom of their religious aspects. We have seen this, but most dovah have never really dealt with Khajiit, only Nords. The Raziir, or Mane, is seen as unique and can contend for leadership within their own lands. Spiriually, A Mane to this point is unknown to have any special ability, but, they are able to use magic with much ease than any other, they just don't know it themselves."

I looked down at Ayisha and she looked back up at me. A Mane?

I turned back to the Dragon.

"So she's like a chosen one among her people?" I theorised.

He nodded.

"Yes. I have known Ayisha since she had first come to the Laaglein. She has come to train with me to learn the ways of being a Priestess of the Moons as they call it, I seek to help her understand general history and her own spiritual value."

I recalled her mentioning something about understanding the dragon language. And spiritual value, that I can attain to.

"Ayisha, you told me you stole a dragon's tongue to understand them. Were you being serious or just...using, big words to make it sound cool." I asked her. I wanted to say metaphorical, but I feared that going over her head.

She shook her head.

"No...Ayisha did steal dragon tongue. Clan Mothers who looked after Ayisha gave her a gift. A ring that has given protection throughout life."

I inspected the ring on one of her fingers. It was made of quicksilver with a sapphire behind an inscribed plate of silver The inscriptions appeared to be Daedric. I ran my thumb over it, a surge of it's power felt through it.

"What is it?" I asked.

"The Ring of Khajiiti. Assists Ayisha. It's taken many forms, so this is it's most recent."

I've...read about that. In old Thieves Guild related documentaries. Said to make invisible, silent and quick.

I looked at Hahnubopraan.

"So they're going to use her for that? What possible use would they have for her other than potentially a fantastic thief?" I asked. That ring would be grand for my line of work.

The Dragon pondered.

"Hmm...the Priests used to involve themselves in all kinds of rituals and plans. They used to torture the ancient nords with the old magics. The Ring of Khajiiti, associated with the Daedra more than the dovah. The connection is hard to say, the evil purposes for it's use. While it isn't recommended, but speaking to a Daedra would be the option to take. Krosis, but they would know more on the topic than I."

I nodded.

"That's fine. But if I find this island that Ayisha speaks of, where would I be best to leave from?"

The Dragon stretched his wings.

"Okaaz do gaaf. Gevildseod. Winterhold. The College there...hiding beneath the blizzard storms, would be the best place to start, so you can go straight north. I would prepare myself before leaving. For you, it will be tedious."

I shrugged.

"That's fine. I'm willing to make that journey as much as it kills me."

Ayisha clung on to me tighter and started crying. I rubbed her back. Wrong choice of words.

"Figure of speech as all. Don't stress!"

He was right though. It was going to be tedious. I had to make sure what I was going to do and know how I was going to do it. But now I had what I finally wanted. But what was the best approach? That was another thing. I'll have to make plans.

Ayisha let go of me and stared at me with saddened eyes.

"Ayisha must go mama. Please come quickly!" She called out, before running back into the temple.

I watched and my arm and hand reached out for her, not wanting her to go back into the horrors of the prison she was in. I could only imagine what they were putting her through. She...just...

"They will not kill her, Dovahkiin. She's far too important to dismiss so easily. But I also must warn you, the island is protected by more dovah, less friendly than I or Paarthurnax. The true resurrection of Zoklotinhaar. Most dov loyal to Alduin considered him amongst themselves, his true name roughly translates to Grand Master Priest for a reason. I would also suggest fully understanding our tongue if you desire to reason with him. If all else fails, try to survive."

I sighed as I rubbed my arm, nervous as all heck. I looked at the Amethyst Dragon with what strength I had to muster by that point. This was no longer about me. This was about Brynjolf...this was about Ayisha and everyone else. I had to do this but I wasn't going to go in without being prepared.

"T-thank you..." I sputtered.

Hey, I'm saying that a bit now. That's progress. Never used to say it a lot but now look at me. Thanking a source of my phobia.


	54. Ancient's Tale

**AN: And now a chapter from everyone's favourite Dragon!**

**CHAPTER 54**

**Ancient's Tale**

Valokein fahdon. I am but the guide to the doorway to a better understanding. I will advise you as best I can but you are the one to make the choice.

Fellnir is an ugly place...I was once tasked there by Alduin to watch over Zoklotinhaar, his favoured child. I once helped torment the mortals with him. I...am not proud of what I had done. Alduin entrusted me to assist further, until the original Dragonborn had changed everything.

I had my own throne, my strunmah, watching over the isle with tyranny. Zoklotinhaar would punish the weak and empower the strong. And I was...his enforcer. The plotting...the planning...

Aldak do stahraal. Back then, all dovah had the freedoms allowed to them, our pride, our downfall.

I am the second eldest all the brothers, Alduin the firstborn of Akatosh. We were doing what was natural in us, the instructive need to dominate. Upon the glances of the ages, we had no idea what we were doing, was wrong. And Akatosh decided to punish the strong instead of the weak...as the first Dragonborn made the first kills, all the mortals had been told that we are in fact, not Gods and the revelation spread like wild-fire caused by the sparks of death. I conversed with Zoklotinhaar many times regarding this concern, but he...was cast in the darkness more often than not.

"The signs of rebellion head call in the south Haar. Lord Alduin would want us to investigate."

Zoklot, as I called him as well, was always clad in the finest gear our servants had to offer. His mask was made of ebony that had a silver crescent embedded on the forehead with a diamond jewel, representing the hard earned cognition of eternity and blessed with the powers of dovah and shadow and blood. His robes of black with crimson lining and dovah symbols, with silver shoulder pads much akin to thosee of the common Dovah Haar in the on the mainland, albeit of different design, black feathers popping out underneath. He had tamed ravens working for him that rested on the long spikes that, pointed outwards. His gloves, made of tough Lokheim Dwiin, a strong metal of quality steel. He crossed his arms. He was...arrogant, but that was what we had considered...normal traits amongst the dov.

"Let Kohnakrik deal with that. A few rebels will not dilute our cause." He answered, voice deep and cold as the breath of frost.

I...knew what the nords were like. Stubborn, prideful, but revered those of their betters. Too long we abused our positions and were tasked with terrible labor.

It wasn't long until the rebels were captured and taken to Fellnir. They were experimented upon, shouted their bodies apart. Zoklot let me have first shout, as second eldest.

The nord I destroyed with my thu'um. His body, torn apart, with Zoklot once enjoying the sight, then became unnervingly quiet. I forgot that he was once part of them, those who refused to stand down before their masters. I then thought, killing ones own kind wouldn't be easy. It was the start of me questioning Alduin's lordship and the way we treated mortals in general.

Zoklot refused to watch the tortures happen and he often brooded in his bedchambers. Though the fortress could contain dovah like myself, a temple on top of the mountain in the middle, his wasn't far from the shrine.

Inside was the Temple of Akatosh, or it once was. Alduin ordered it replaced with a statue of himself, the true God of Skyrim. I descended into the temple via the large circular entrance to see Zoklot down in prayer.

"Ton lor brudaht hi (Thousand thoughts burden you)" I called to him.

"Vokun iliis zey, Paarthurnax (Shadow's hide me, Paarthurnax)" He replied.

Hmmm...I had not suspected Zoklot to display much fear, but his heart...was troubled.

He took off his mask and placed it on the ground. A rarity. Alduin did not want to see the faces of those he empowered, lest he be reminded that they were once considered amongst mortal kind and want them nothing more than to be extremely loyal servants. His face, weathered, a scar diagonal from the right side of his forehead to the left side of his chin. His eyes, hollow but brimming with dovah energies in their blue-like glow. Such is the life given up to become a priest. To forget ones self.

Zoklot had slain many a nord in Alduin's name with his sheer prowess in assassinating skills. There was no honour in that, but it kept Alduin fed with enough souls when he went to Sovngarde to feast.

His hair a deep orange crimson and beard of equaly colour. I saw him as man and he did not fear showing it.

"Tell me, Paarthurnax. We seek to enslave those who dare oppose us, but to me it feels like we're enslaving ourselves." He admitted, his heavy accent notwithstanding.

"Ren los sahlom (Doubt is a weakness) that Alduin will surely find heretical. Shed them and you will ascend to favour once more."

He grumbled.

"The people are useless, smelly. I hated those who dared to call me brother! And spit in my eye and call it rain! I wanted them dead. But I also wanted control. I wanted power. And I was willing to do what ever it took to make my life whole again!"

I tilted my head. I wasn't told much of Zoklot's past before he had been promoted as Dragon Priest. He'd been the first to find Alduin and pledge his services. He'd set up the order to keep the nords in line. And it was a powerful structure. Zoklot was once a great tactician who won many battles before the Dragon War spilled more blood than expected.

"Why do you speak this to me? Alduin has given you what you have wanted. Hin hah los gram (Your mind is clouded.)" I informed him, needing his head back into the brink,

But then he glared, his eyes nearly as piercing as my brothers.

"How...how do I know Lord Alduin will not end up killing me and devouring my soul instead?" He questioned. A question that I'd never seen coming.

"Your his brother! You are second-born. He never comes to Fellnir anymore! How am I in his favour?"

I looked down.

"Alduin is often busy in the field. He prefers to sit up upon Monahven to observe. He will use the thu'um if he needs us."

There had been many an occasion where the tension rose amongst the mortals and Alduin was often nowhere to be found, even when he was summoned. He tended to his duties less, to which Zoklot became even more paranoid. And weakened.

I was there, to my shame when the monstrosity that was the Dovahkriid started to slay my brothers around the fortress. We were younger, we didn't understand. That there was one who could kill us...permanently. I had doubted my brothers claim to us being the high end of all life and that the lesser species should obey us. Meyye.

Back then I was only doing as I was told to do. But being with mortals, brought forth a new light to my eyes. Mu lost zofaas. I ordered my fellow dovah to eliminate the threat, until it was...too late...

The sky burned under the influence of this incredible power, only known to dovah. Our question, was how could a mortal, possess such a power without knowing...and where did they come from?

As I watched my brothers die around me, Zu'u lost ko reik, I was in shock, as the fortress was struck and nearly destroyed.

I was soon the only dovah left on the island. Traumatized by this...small, seemingly impossible abomination that and not only slain my fellow dovah, but devoured their souls. He came up to the top of the fortress, to the throne that was my wall, my perch, his very armour and robes...not like our draconic design at all. I dubbed him Vostahdim lir, the Unholy Worm. He was clad in such...daedric influences that I had the desire to burn him down and make him suffer for his treachery.

It was then that something flew out of the ashes and rubble with strong magical wings like those of the lokraan sonah, the bird kind and aura, wielding his blade and staff, determined to defeat the Vostahdim lir. Zoklotinhaar, was furious, his home...obliterated.

The combat, the battle between them was immense. I recognized the Vostahdim Lir as one of our own...a Dovah Priest under Zoklot's command. It was an incredible battle between two powerful forces as I watched on, spells cast of fire, ice, lightning, shadow and daedric were cast across from one another. I could not mindoraan, comprehend the very powers of the Vostahdim Lir. The battle lasted hours, with the draining of his magicka reserves, forced him to bring out his weapon, stolen from the Dwemer. The Nahiisk...or, Fang of Fury. Alduin himself empowered it to have as much bite as a dragon as he went to swipe the traitor, but he was often too quick, using the thu'um with impressive valor. My eyes widened as the Vostahdim had an easy opening and impaled Zoklot with his blade of tentacles, sos, blood, spreading everywhere. He dropped the ground easily...and messily.

"Not so Grand now are we?" The traitor mocked.

Zoklot stared up at him with great anger and passion. He battled like he used to, but, porah naal tozein.

I took his weapon out, I was...I had never been so angry before. As the traitor walked up to me, I prepared myself, until he sheathed his weapon. His mask...so...foreign. Unnatural.

"It would be wise brother of Alduin, not to bother fighting me. Better yet, I'll let you live to see as a testament to dragon-kind that they can be killed. Instill fear into your master and let him know that if he wants me, he has to come and get me. I will be in Solstheim."

I knew that voice. I decided, out of necessity, to no fight back as much as my pride wanted me to. I hissed and bared my wings, but he mocked me and left with as much as a shout, summoning a dovah, a serpentine one at that, to his whim, and fleeing on it's back. We'd...be betrayed...in more ways that one.

I headed to the mainland, now that Fellnir was no more and Zoklotinhaar was dead. My brothers, gone and devoured. My heart was filled with krosis. Sorrow. I aimed to find my revenge one day.

With Alduin not really caring what would have happened and I was the only left to give orders, I informed Konahkriik, the head priest on the mainland to find the traitor at all costs. While I'd left to find Alduin, he sent Vahlok to destroy the betrayer with a swarm of dovah. And never really heard back from him since

The Dragon War started some time after that. The incident sent shockwaves to the Nords. He was right. I'd lost faith as I fled to the Monahven, also known as the Throat of the World. Alduin was not there. The war looked hopeless as I looked at the gram, the clouds in the sky. A warmth penetrated the layer and a shine from the sun poured down over me. I heard whispers, voice unknown to me. But I understood them, then from my point and my location closer to the roof the realm that I found myself in often, I then remembered...

Amongst Akatosh, there was Kyne. Goddess of the Storm. I extended my wings to embrace the warmth on my scales. Kyne's gift to me. But why was she communing with me, of all things?

She told me, that she had gifted mankind with the thu'um and that this war belonged to the mortals. The Dovah were being punished for our overbearing nature and it was time to let them fight back. However, in order to do so, that she had chosen me, to be the Mindopah, to teach mortals how to use the thu'um. I would then be seen as a traitor myself, to my fellow dovah. But, I would have to convince the like-minded, to join me...

It had be a strenuous task. I was Kyne's Servant, who had made me see the error of my ways through example as I flew through the realm, seeing the slaughter being laid seige beneath me. My own heart...it strangely...felt things it never felt before. Zoklot, your spirit lies with me. This was what was troubling you.

I could see it. The downfall of the Dovah. But...even then...with my convincing and close calls, I did gather the faithful and teach them, taking them to the throat of the world to raise them with the thu'um.

It proved to be a pyrrhic success. I...was gravely injured but I survived. Alduin never found out about my betrayal...but I suspect he will soon enough. Or he already knows.

* * *

I felt a small budge beneath my wing. The Dovahkiin had awoken from her slumber and trip in the Laaglein. Her spirit, not unlike the traitors but...felt more noble. She chooses to fight and chooses to make haste. Instinct would warn me to kill her. I cannot help that unfortunately, Mahfaeraak jahr do yol. Pity I cannot go along with her. I would give up my immortality to speak with Zoklot one more time.

**And thank him for making me see.**


	55. Lore

**AN: Glad everyone liked that chapter! I hope this next chapter gets people thinking, also, an unexpected character arrives. Just read on to see who it is.  
Also, if anyone has tumblr, i have a blog just called Draknophobia where I will be posting each chapter again. So check it out, maybe re read to see what you've missed, tell your friends, like, reblog blah blah blah. I'm having them stuck on queue so they'll automatically be updated twice a day. Same chapters obvious, but I just want to get the story out there as all. Anyway, enough speaking...onto this next chapter!**

**Chapter 55**

**Lore**

I batted my eyes a few times. I could feel the cold sting of snow around me and the feeling closer to rough leather. I'd almost forgotten where I was, under the wing of the ancient Dragon Paarthurnax. As expected, I had a quickened heartbeat. I struggled to shuffle myself out of the cranny that I'd nestled myself in and prepared for the journey of a life time.

Paarthurnax himself had been very helpful and created a new perspective for me, on how dragons are. He's here to assist me but for me to be anxious always was a natural reaction. He was in restraint, staring at me as I stood up. I wasn't quite sure what to feel and or to believe. But I had something I needed to do...and fast.

"How was your slumber, Dovahkiin?" He asked. I'll never get over the fact that dragons believed in civility.

I shrugged. A bit sore actually.

"I uh...yeah...but my path is clear. I need to go to an island known as a Fellnir. Do you know of it?"

I used to think that the dragons has their own level of comprehension that, as immortal beasts that they would reach a kind of an ascended connection, spiritually and mentally that no man or mer could reach, only if they would throw away the thralls of their ugly, meaty lives that can attain such a feat. Another sense to them that to us, would simply destroy our minds. Each to their own tense and proud behaviours, but Paarthurnax either pitied or felt something else for mortal kind.

People their would their wisdom was near infinite. I knew better. As nigh-unkillable beings (besides me being able to slay them) it would be only inevitable to the fact that they simply wanted people to think they know everything, and have the guise of the greatest mysteries to torment man and mer until the end of time. I can be a healthy skeptic. Nocturnal for example. She simply won't reveal her true aim because she like's pissing people off with her secrecy. Have to keep up the whole darkness charade after all.

"Fellnir? Hmm...yes...Dinok ahrk Yevul...death and torment. A land I would never visit again."

My eyes widened.

"So you've been there yourself?"

Paarthurnax nodded.

"Yes. I will urge extra caution, if you haven't been told already. It was nothing but rubble and ghosts...but, it may be...hmmm.."

Bryn, if you're still there somewhere. Please be okay. You have to be..

I stood firm in front of Paarthurnax, staring him down with eyes of fresh determination.

"I shall destroy what ever stands in my way. Be it mortal...or dragon. My soul stands to devour as my spirit-father made me. My heart may weep but it is made of solid steel that contains a passionate flame like none other. The shadows protect me. _**AND I WILL STEAL BACK WHAT WAS STOLEN FROM ME!"**_

I must have said that like a dozen times already. Oh well. A girl can be a bit dramatic can't she?

Paathurnax was...smiling. I think. Dragon's are hard to read sometimes.

"Good to see you are eager. Thraat faas hi grolah, you are definitely Dovahkiin."

I blushed a little. Yeah...a few months ago I wouldn't have been that over the moons regarding what I was and what I was becoming. I was talking to Paathurnax, my mind seeing him as another person in a different form. Makes me wonder how I would see myself as a dragon? Terrified? Knee deep in irony? Little bit of both I reckon.

But...I had to make sure. I approached the dragon withdrawing the senses inside of me. I couldn't stop my heart from beating so fast but hopefully I'll get over that in time. But...I also had to be honest with the old dov, after (I hoped) he was honest with me.

"Yeah...bout that. Look, you're right about me being scared. I still am. My mind just gets caught in a loop of bad memories, replaying over and over with each and every single dragon and it's killing me. I want...I want..."

He lowered his head towards me, giving me quite the fight, and tilted his head. His face...old and aged. He must have had the dragon equivalent of dark circles underneath his eyes. Tired...and worn. Like me...but I was still in my youth and, well, time isn't going to be my best friend.

"We all weary and scarred by the dewclaws of our foes. It's the path to domination, how we have seen each other, not in drem but in war. Are the dov not so different from mortals?" Paarthurnax questioned.

I held myself, a strike of pain shooting through me from the result of my anxiety and panic. My phobia flares up but by being close...I don't know...but...we are ridden with our own wounds. I had many...many with their own stories to tell. Some more painful to speak about than others. But Paarthurnax...he would have thousands more stories than I, and his state was more than proof enough for me to believe...his own would hold more weight than mine and that everyday he was burdened with an eternal struggle that will last him until the end of time.

"It takes great Ahkrin ahrk fen, courage and will to fight one's self. I understand your dilemma. It requires effort to combat. But you have shown to bring forth the energy inside of you. While you may fear it, that you use what comes naturally to you and use against your enemies, disregarding the hilaus, the heart ache that weighs heavily upon you. See yourself as what you are and what you can be if you will it so and avoid falling into the melancholy that the dov often find themselves in often."

I wasn't even aware that they even did that. I've been extremely ignorant. I bowed my head to him in a slow motion.

"I have to command myself to be rational and not let...not the pain take hold of me. That's what I've always wanted. I am to what the Gods desired me to be. And I need to make sure that they haven't made the wrong choice." I summarized.

Paarthurnax nodded. Is he smiling again? I think he is.

"Being Dovahkiin and the paths you have chosen are of your own choice. While you have been written into the currents of time by Akatosh as Dovahkiin, to what end and to what meaning is completely up to you."

I had to be firm with that. In the end, it will boil down to me...making the right choice. I see that. Both Paarthurnax and Hahnubopraan have been very wise and patient with me. For the first time in my life...I am honoured by their presence, which is a great surprise to which I had been living in fear due to the atrocities caused by their brothers.

I need to make sure, that perhaps, I would need to know...to truly overcome...

"Paarthurnax...if you don't mind...can...can I pat you?" I asked. Such a stupid question that my face was nearly burning with embarrassment.

I think his expression was either...stunned...or amused. Couldn't tell which.

"Is this some sort of companionship display? I don't recall touching as part of anything. I am not a pet of the Greybeards you know...but...alas, if you'd think it would help."

I walked up closer to his head. To define what was a very intelligent creature from a vicious beast was a very blurred line. They were capable of very definitive thoughts and judgements gained from ages past. I was only trying to see...perhaps it would help with my phobia. My heart forever rapid in beating, was making me hesitant but like many times before, I must force myself to push through it.

It took a few tries as I my hand rested near his head but not touching it. I was expecting some kind of reaction, but...my hand was shaking too much to be considered stable.

A...strange feeling took hold of me once I managed to lay my hand on his scaly head. I began rubbed the rough, odd sensations but...ripples that started off from my fingertips enveloped my body with an unfamiliar feeling. I was subtle, but then got sort of used to it. I took deep breaths through my nose, watching myself caress the beast. He melted underneath me. He was actually enjoying it.

It was...nice seeing a dragon without the powerful animosity to kill me. He was so mellow about it and perpetually grinning.

"You have delicate hands Dovahkiin." He commented.

"You should start working your magic on my back. My old bones ache."

I chuckled. I myself, felt a bit relaxed because of it. But this moment was like that the tension just melted away, leaving me content and accomplished.

But I had to stop or else I would get carried away with the petting. Different from Khajiit like Ayisha. Never hugged an Argonian either.

"Hmm...I see. Bold move. But you have the touch of Kyne in your heart. Like she had sent you to me."

I smirked.

"I thought I was sent by Akatosh?" I pointed out.

"We all see Akatosh as our borham, our father, Kyne is considered Monah, but more of a Mother to Men, Ekrah do faal Strun, Goddess of the Storm that protects them. She will guide you as she has for me."

I nodded and smiled.

"I'll take that into consideration." I acknowledged.

He stretched his wings and pushed himself up into the air.

"See that it you do. I'm sure I'd like to keep tinvaak with you Dovahkiin, but you have work to do. Farewell."

* * *

I wandered back down the mountain feeling more enlightened then I'd ever been. Thoughts of dragons still charge my heart, but knowing there are those out there who have given themselves as species considerate thinking about how they act is quite noble indeed and I'd admire them for that, for their strength and will is what keeps their inherent nature at bay. For they have been here since the dawn of time and have wasted themselves on petty conquests.

To test that might would be a challenge. To oppose the manner and being of what is dragonkind and meaning of my own birthright.

I am not meant to fear, but I am to be cautious. To know what to do. Yes. I know where I was heading and the preparation to get where I needed to be. I had work to do.  
I went down back to High Hrothgar and met up with Arngeir, whom I suspect wanted to know what Paarthurnax had said to me. I should have been angry with him when he didn't mention that he was a dragon, but anger now isn't going to help. I, like the dragons, must contain the hidden depth of the urges to dominate, for my spirit burns like those of the dovah.

"I see in your eyes that your path is clear, Dragonborn. Paarthurnax always imparts more wisdom into any of us than no one will willingly give. To what instruction is your own, for you and him are more alike that you may realize. I hope he allayed some of your concerns." He stated to me.

I nodded.

"I am beckoned to try. My heart says otherwise, always but...this is in my structure. This...has to be definite for me. But...do you know much of Fellnir? The island to the North?" I asked.

Arngeir frowned.

"Figures they were head to their derelict place of tyranny and nightmares. The Priests did horrible things there and I would condemn you to find out. But if that is where you must go. We will not stop, other than to urge caution."

So much darkness I had sensed. No doubt as Prolg intended. I just...hope that Brynjolf and Ayisha are alright.

"Go now. Head the call. Sky above, Voice within."

* * *

I left the Monastery and was left drifting in my thoughts as I walked down the mountain. The world was always going to be perilous. But this was going to be more dangerous that I had ever imagined possibly. My heart years and my spirit continues to beckon. I had to head to Riften, to let them know that I may or may not come back alive.

If what Paarthurnax said was true, then the Gods have gifted me with the power of choice. What I wanted was for Bryn to be to his old true self and find his spirit within the structure that he wanted. He wouldn't want this. Neither would Ayisha. But we were caught up in this horrible mess together and I was the only one who could stop it.

I would never stop worrying but it meant I had a picture in my head of where this was going to all end and be damned if I wasn't going to create it. Others would say that you may never always get what you want, but I will give it my best shot.

Even if it...kills...me...

No...killing would cause more pain to Brynjolf and to the people of Skyrim. I couldn't have doubt cloud my mind and ruin my opportunities again. This had to be done.

I came back to Riften during the night, my subconscious baring down on me, telling me this may be the last time I'll ever see it. It's a run down town but it was the home away from home and the only place that accepted me. I walked over to the Talos shrine as the torchbugs danced around it, reminding me of the times that Bryn and I spoke with the God of Man, voicing our thoughts to the once great emperor. I will not continue to stain the name of Dragonborn any longer and bring honour to our predecessors...and those whom have died in our name.

I went into the Cistern, empty. I saw Karliah, standing there at the desk. She looked at me. I wandered up to her as she had an interesting look on her face.

"Oh, Petra. Good to see you again. How...how is everything? Any progress?" She asked me.

Such a kindness within her heart. Like Brynjolf, you forget she's a thief like me. Kleptomaniacs in a world of constant conflict that we let the thrill run through our veins.

"I am...I have to go to an island called Fellnir, to the north. I'm about to head off to Winterhold and make my way there. I'm...thinking this might be the last time I ever get to speak to you." I told her, not holding back.

Her face fell, saddened.

"I see...well, if you want any help, I've spoken with a few people whom, most could only voice their support. You nords astonish me sometimes. Your stubborn nature, your lore regarding the dragons and the religions that surrounded them. I did get some information that is quite interesting indeed if you have time to hear it."

I nodded.

"Sure."

She pulled out a book and flipped a few pages in

"I've found some fascinating lore that involves both Akatosh and Nocturnal, somehow connected through the shades of twilight."

I furrowed my brow.

"Connected? In what way?"

She continued.

"There have been Nightingales in the past that have been Dragonborn like yourself. One of our past members connected the link between the use of the shadows and the spirit of the dragonborn within. I then discovered, that the child...was related to my grandmother... Barenziah. If you know your history, that she once had...intimate relations with Tiber Septim himself. The story goes that she got pregnant with him and he had ordered the child to be aborted. Only she got away with giving birth."

I blinked.

"Really? So...she must have hid the child then."

Karliah nodded.

"Yes and reading further indicates the child, a son, was sent to Morrowind. He was half-dunmer half-nord, but mostly dunmer in appearance, and was shunned. He then became a member of the Morag Tong, then came to Skyrim once Red Mountain had erupted and lived in Windhelm for sometime. He'd fallen in love with a nord, but Windhelm's issues with the local dark elves there they'd fled to Riften and had children there. They had a daughter, a woman that had the tendency to see things. Which, to that...is the most fascinating part of all..."

I looked left and right...Karliah's face lit up as someone wandered into the room. A frail figure, adorned in black robes and a necklace that had the nightingale symbol. Her face, wrinkled but soft and faded red hair and green eyes that seemed familiar.

I was puzzled to say the least.

"And...you are?" I questioned she approached us both.

Karliah was more in awe than anything.

"Petra, this Nemetona. Archivist of Nightingale Lore, Caretaker of the Twilight Sepulcher."

I browed. Never thought much of a place that delved in secrets to keep them up somewhere. But, you know...if it'd help.

"Nemetona..." I whispered, still perplexed.

The old woman smiled.

"I figured that you wouldn't be able to recognize me. I've been away for a very long time. Even then, it was only to investigate to see what the Cult was up to. And I see now that they are completing what they started many years ago."

I looked at Karliah for answers. She didn't say a word.

"You're Petra? I'd heard a lot about you. We share a mutual friend..not just Karliah, but...you know Delphine?"

I nodded.

"Yeah...she helped me kill a Dragon in Kynesgrove...amongst other things." I answered. Though, I suspected there was more to it.

"You also know my son Brynjolf. I wasn't surprised when he decided to follow my footsteps after the way he was treated by his father."

My eyes widened. What?

"Wait...you're his mother? He said you were dead."

Nemetona shook her head.

"I implanted that story in his head when I found out the Twilight Sepulcher had been desecrated by a traitorous Nightingale. Karliah told me that you personally dealt with the threat and were also the reason why the Guild is booming lately. I must thank you."

A dark pit dwelled in my stomach. I was hoping that this wasn't going to happen again, but it came out as guilt. His...mother. Bryn's mother. Shit...

I looked down, ashamed. Damn it...

"Yeah...I did...look, I'm certain Karliah has already told you ab-"

She rested her hand on my shoulder.

"Shh...it's okay. They won't harm my son. He's too special to the Cult. They're spoil him rotten that's for sure. But like you, I want to see him back to his old self."

I nodded nervously. Of course I did.

"Yes...yes I do ma'am."

She grabbed hold of my chin and looked deep into my eyes. Her own...the colour...just like Brynjolf's. She was...attempting to read me.

"Your eyes are filled with intrinsic energies but tell me you are conflicted. But...you are determined which takes over all the rest. But yes, you are not the first Dragonborn Nightingale. Talos himself was once, temporarily, a thief. It just isn't written in lore that you may find elsewhere. Nocturnal's secrets must been contained. But I am Loremaster, I protect all the knowledge and write down new information that comes to pass and makes history. Tiber is also our ancestor, to hidden truths. Many lies were written to hide us. But the Cult of Slaughter make strange bedfellows. I didn't know who Prolg was until it was too late."

I rubbed my chin...this made me more pissed off than before.

"So, you...didn't know?"

She shook her head.

"No...sadly. I was much in love with the man I thought I knew... Bryn may never tell you much, that I was just a crazy old woman. And he was right. Our true ancestry is bleeding with murder, lies and betrayal. My only wish was that he not get into this mess...but it seems we can never find true peace within ourselves. Despite all the trouble, it is good to see he has been with people who care about him."

My face went red again. Oh Gods...

"Your son is a good man. He's saved my life many times. I am forever in his debt."

Nemetona smiled at me. She seemed to know more.

"That much is certain. I know that look...I'm more than elated to see that he has someone who loves him just as much as I do."

I fake coughed as my face heated up more and I turned away. Of all people I had to meet his mother... Sweet merciful Gods!

"Uhh...yeah..."

Karliah stepped in, because she saw awkward this making things.

"Loremaster, tell Petra about the details regarding the Dragon Priests..." Karliah noted.

Nemetona's face changed. If she was heartbroken about her son, she wasn't showing it. She has a good heart and has a better facade than me.

"Ah yes. Well, the Dragon Priest that has Brynjolf in a twisted position, Zoklotinhaar, was secretly in league with Nocturnal as well. Old documents from previous Loremasters indicated that he fell in love with her once he found the Evergloam and Nocturnal guided him through troubled times before he finally became a Dragon Priest, swearing himself to something darker than our mistress of shadow. He made a shrine to her somewhere deep in his fortress and was trying to construct another conduit there so he could see her from Fellnir. But the processes never worked. And he never saw Nocturnal again..."

So many famous people of greater history...all linked with our Lady Luck, so it seemed, but never admitted it to anyone.

"The Conduit was only linked to Skyrim. As befitting of our Goddess, she never contacted him again. He was ultimately torn between loyalty to her and loyalty to Alduin."

I nodded. Faith in conflict. I know what that was like.

"And he was slain by a Dragonborn who was rampaging through the early ages. He never did quite get what he wanted in the end did he?" I questioned.

Nemetona frowned.

"No. But he never relayed those concerns to his disciples except only one of his servants who wrote down the lore. Another Nightingale who shared secrets and wrote the early texts. After all the activities that happened on Fellnir, he began to have doubts about Alduin, but never got to live long enough to see the outcome of the Dragon War. The Loremaster became his wife in the end and they had several children. Most were killed in the War, except a few who made it out, and became the next in line for our dynasty."

Some of that didn't make sense. It'd been many, many years since the Dragon War. How on Nirn did they manage to track the bloodlines? Even after all this time?

"Tragic. You're torn between two very powerful individuals. I'd had to pick. I'd chose Nocturnal each and every time, but to be that Priest...must have been awful." Karliah commented.

Nemetona crossed her arms.

"Many years that Loremasters have kept records within the Sepulcher hidden rooms of the old books. We had our own enchantments and spells to make sure that only a Loremaster had access. So over the years, we'd note down the bloodline where ever it went, with excruciating detail. The room is a library of the family trees." She explained.

I rubbed my head.

"So, why did the Loremaster decide to do so?"

She pulled out a rather large book, made of black and silver.

"Because Nocturnal ordered us to. She didn't make it clear why. But that's her nature. Did she love Zoklotinhaar back? Who knows. She'll never tell. But in the end, what she stands to gain at the end of the day will always be a mystery. Karliah knows that better than anyone."

I looked at the Dunmer.

"Gallus told me about my true ancestry that my mother never told me about. I suspect he was once a Loremaster himself at one point, until Nemetona proved otherwise."

Nemetona agreed.

"Yes. I trained Gallus to be a future Loremaster, in the hopes that it would be secure for years to come. But, as Mercer betrayed the Guild and murdered him, there wasn't much I could do. Karliah had gone into hiding and our ties to the Guild were cut, until you came into the picture, Petra."

I avoided eye contact. So awkward.

"I was only doing as I was told...I'd...been through tough times but I aim to pay my debts and will get your son back." I admitted.

She seemed to appreciate that a lot.

"Be that as it may, you need to survive. Brynjolf needs to know that he's still loved and cared for no matter what shape or form he is in. My concern is if Zoklotinhaar is awakened, he will know you as the Dragonborn who had killed him prior and attempt to slay you." She warned me.

Hmm...now that was a worry. But I was determined to make good on my own promise. My choice to bring him back alive.

"I can come with you Petra if-" Karliah started, before I butted in.

"No..." I told her. "You're needed here with the Guild. I have to go."

The Dunmer frowned. She'd done enough and been through her enough. I was not letting her go through this torment.

"Petra..." She muttered.

I clenched my fist. I felt the melancholy in my veins.

"I have to do this on my own. I don't want anyone else hurt in this."

Oh Gods...I'd sworn I wouldn't cry. Nemetona wrapped her arm around my arm.

"You are loyal to Nocturnal and you will have her guidance as she shrouds you."

I looked down. Come on you can do this! Get it into your head woman. You know what to do! This is how it must be! Quit crying! Dragonborn must be strong! Brynjolf and Ayisha's lives depend on it!

I turned to each of them.

Nemetona grabbed onto my hands and examined them, then her eyes drilled deep into mine.

"You...have the mask of Krosis. A formidable Priest." She commented.

I'd almost forgot about that.

"He was once trained by Zoklotinhaar if memory serves. His mask was made as a dedication to the shadows...and in combat. Aids in...well, archery, alchemy and most specially, locking picking. I suggest using that if you find yourself in combat or in a situation that requires delicate touches. To which Karliah assures me you're one of the best in the field...so you'll have no problem with at that."

Of course...but...I wasn't sure. I would have waited until it was necessary for me to use. But I will keep that in mind.

I shook their hands.

"Thanks guys." I told them with a smile.

"It's been quite the ride.-OOF!"

I was suddenly locked in a hug with Karliah. Strange. I hugged her back. She had her struggles, her burdens for the time being. Let me handle it. I'll be fine. But...I suppose I made it sound final didn't I?

"Swear to us you'll come back alive?" She asked me...almost in tears.

I grinned.

"Yeah sure why not?"

She let go of me and wiped her tears. I had no idea...she must have cared about me a lot. I never realized. She was a good Guildmaster, that I definitely am sure of. I wanted to live. I still had unfinished business. I looked at Nemetona who nodded at me. I nodded back.

"Go see Vex and Delvin. I'm sure they'll want a word with you before you go...and Petra?"

I stopped in the middle of the cistern and stared at Karliah.

"Eyes open, walk with the shadows."

Thankfully my eyes will always be open from now on.


	56. Fellnir

**AN: Now it gets real good...read on!**

**CHAPTER 56**

**Fellnir**

I once considered myself unspecial in a world so vast. How it picked me out of all these people was anyone's guess.

I had spoken with Vex, Delvin, then Tonilia and the rest, thanking them for...well, being there. For a bunch of thieves, they either didn't care or they had rehearsed that type of act of not caring. I was like that, but...I know I didn't care that what happened but now...my heart had it's void filled by those I would have associated myself with prior and that the Guild had evolved to become my real family, even though back when I was a little girl I would have never seen myself as a thief. Little girl with a big dream? Just marry some guy and live off him until I died. Healthy perspective eh?

But my time with the Guild changed me in ways I could never imagine possible. That I was actually competent at something rather being a lazy ass bitch who would sit around all day involving herself in the latest gossip...only the gossip is juicier on this end.

Delvin had wished me luck, as for Vex. She was apathetic, only for the part where she told me not get myself or Brynjolf killed or else she'd kick me out of the Guild. Only Vex.

It all seems final, doesn't it? I don't to make it sound like that. If I treat this like any other job, it will be fine. But the main issue is that it's extremely personal and I am unable to part myself from that. Tonilia at least found me an extra bushel of arrows and ordered me to come back alive. I'll try Ton, I'll try.

I left the cistern with a heavy heart. I will come back. I swear I will. I will not come back until I complete what I set out to do.

To bring Brynjolf and Ayisha back.

Riften seemed smaller than I remember. Like I could cradle it in my hand, observing the people pottering about within. It's full of awful people, but that was what part of it's charm. A city for the pissed off, the power hungry, the greedy and the like. Never dreamed it would become my home as I pictured it in a snow globe.

It distracted me from the real truths, such as Bryn's mother being alive and Bryn being a descendant of Talos. I'm not one to believe in much but...I don't know. I wouldn't doubt the Loremaster's words and records. It's just a funny part of life that would never make sense otherwise. The way that history molded itself in such a way that Brynjolf had no idea what was going on. And they got away with that secret. Leaving Bryn in the darkness that was shaped around him.

As Dragonborn, I have to hunt for the pieces myself. I have to be pro-active and seek out the shards of my destiny and give it the rightful deliverance to the people who depend on me to save the world for them. Several months ago I wouldn't have cared, but to waste this opportunity would sour the Gods opinions of me...and I wouldn't have given two septims about. It something about developing change and your heart that evolves with it. People never realize that you have to take serious consideration into actually taking the role and using it for it's real purpose. As I intend to. You have know how your heart will work with this and will be torn between what is right and what is easy.

I had the backing of the Gods, plus Nocturnal. They must put their faith with me. I never wanted it originally, because the powerful burden it had my psyche, the unbearable anguish that I would feel if I failed, only for me to discover that I can make the choice not to fail and make anything, any result in my advantage. This is why I am more confident in my abilities...to be allowed to say yes, this is my choice and I will succeed and try and try again until this is what the Gods themselves foresaw.

But, the choice must fit my own desires. My spirit years for what it wants and I am allowed that freedom. The only thing I would disallow would be the others, not the ones whom the Gods chose, to die on my behalf. That is for certain. This isn't their fight. This is mine. This is what happens when you are weak. If I see myself as strong, then I will prevail.

Okay, you can quit being sappy now Petra. Get on with it. I left Riften with Cody, and never looked back.

* * *

I felt so alone as I made the trek to Winterhold. I knew my path and repeatedly told myself this is what I had to do. I made it to the City of blizzards, magic and ruin in hardly any time at all, or my mind was just so caught up in all the memories Brynjolf and I shared together and told myself in order to make myself feel better and to cling on to my goal, create a lining with another goal...to create even more memories.

I walked into the College and headed up to the top of the northern tower and looked over the sea of ghosts. I was prepared for as much as I could prepare myself for, but I had the notion that what ever I had wouldn't be enough. To will myself out of that state took a lot of effort, convincing my subconscious to make it work.

It was cold...it was hammering snow but I was alive. Sound strange, listening to me say these words...I need them. I would still be hesitating otherwise. Still am, but I have to force determination down my throat as much as I can.

I inhaled deeply...

"**BO...VOND UFT!**"

In that, I was swallowed by the nexus of energies that summoned my corporeal dragon wings and flapped several times before leaping off the College roof and flying my way north.

I allowed myself to practice with my flight, balancing myself from above and beneath the clouds, seeing the sun rising in the east. I definitely felt like a Dov, soaring around. For a mortal it's astounding. We weren't to fly. But Kyne, Kynareth herself granted me the ability to fly in her realm, to feel the breeze on my cheeks and the wind on my spirit. A slight chill but I can manage.

It took me a while, but I could the dilapidated fortress in the distance, fallen to ruin. There were a few boats dotted around the harbor, but I had to find an entrance that won't reveal my position. I suspect the Cult would have dozens of guards everywhere so I had to infiltrate the fortress the only way I knew how...

By Stealth.

I flew down to the docks, my landing a lot more graceful this time. I actually managed to land on my own two feet and withdraw the draconic energies. From above, Fellnir seemed so small, but from where I was at the docks, it was...so intimidating that I felt nothing but strange auras from it. It was huge, seeing something, maybe the temple on the top that I was told about, that sat underneath the cloudy skies that made it seem more like night than day. Good. I needed darkness.

I looked around, seeing nothing much a lot of rocks and dragons tongue flowers that went up the scale of the mountain in a zigzagged path. There were patrolling guards on duty, wearing their magical robes and garb. The only way to infiltrate...

is with the shadows...

I summoned my Nightingale Armour and snuck around. I would have to make sure I was to remain unseen. I approached the guard from behind and slit his throat, carrying his body and then threw it over the rocks to the ocean below. A good start.

The way inside was a bit of a task though. Though the ruins had been ransacked many eras prior, the walls were still standing, made of sturdy rock bricks. I went up hill and prepared my bow, firing at several unsuspecting guards and disposed of their bodies quickly as well, but making sure I retrieved used arrows first.

I finally found the entrance, only for the guard to a bloody huge blood dragon, sitting upon the gigantic wall, watching over the huge arch that contained the door way, with more guards patrolling their posts.

Damn...this just got more difficult. By alerting the dragon, I would be alerting the entirety of the guard, and Zoklotinhaar would be aware of my presence.

Lucky, I had a few bottles of invisibility tucked away. I drank one and scurried my way past the door. There had to be an easier way in. The hill went up higher along the side, with a broken part of the high part of the wall. If I could climb that...

I had this feeling the dragon knew I was there, but didn't say much as to not actually see anything with his own two eyes. But my aura had to obvious. Nocturnal...please protect me.

I made it across without much hassle and the potion fulfilling it's purpose. There was a dead tree that in a corner out of the sight of the guards nearby. I climbed the tree and carefully walked across the branches to enter the hole in the side.

My eyes quickly adjusted to the new lighting, revealing the warn down halls of the fortress. Even after all these years, the place smelt of death and had an awful feel to it, like the spirits of the ancient nords still lingered...just...depressing.

My plan was to find Ayisha and get her out of here first, then confront Brynjolf, or his possessor. It made me think a lot as I paraded the halls, sticking to the shadows and taking down draugr left and right...

* * *

When I say I am nothing special, I mean, I have no special lineage that I am aware of. Mother and father, honest people with an honest living. Father used to talk about how our family are mostly survivors at best, but otherwise pretty ordinary. You get sucked into the notion how nothing will change and it wasn't bad. I complained about farm life in general but when you look back now it was the best you could do without getting yourself killed raiding crypts and other ruins for treasure and killing the undead. I never saw myself getting into that nonsense when I was younger but now look at me.

Mother used to say that I could linger around much longer and marry that boy I used to hang around with from the farm down the road. I had to admit he was cute, but when I remember, that letter that was sent to me, I thought nothing of it. I thought it was the boys trick to propose to me and marry off somewhere and perhaps live in the Imperial City as merchants. A simple life that would support myself and my family.

But as my family is nothing but...just...death I have nothing to go back to. I do want to go back to the farm, but...nothing is there without the mother and father who loved me and raised me.

I don't think they'll all too happy that their daughter is now a professional thief. But if I could send coin there I would. But father only wanted honest coin and would think that sending hoards of septims down his way would seem suspicious. I did long to see them again.

But I wondered if he would be proud that his daughter was Dragonborn, to gain the admiration of the nords in our homeland. He always said that, while he appreciated me helping him out, that if I wanted to do something better than slaving away in a farm all my life, that I could. But then I felt guilty for leaving him and mother there. And so...my journey continued.

My only regret would be there I wasn't there for them to protect them. I was a lot stronger and yet I failed to lend them my strength when they so desperately needed. I knew from Bryn's descriptions that Prolg is an awful person, but to murder...my own family, is something I cannot just, forgive and forget. He will die, one way or the other.

Upon the revelations of the lineage that Bryn was born into surprised me a bit, considering Brynjolf is a bit of a conservative regarding himself. I doubt he even knew what he was getting himself into and how his blood would actually be considered royalty. He would actually have a bit of the dragonblood in himself, if you were to get technical. I wasn't really sure how that worked, but...

Being from Cyrodiil you hear all the stories about the Oblivion Crisis and the Septim Dynasty being cut off. If you want to delve deeper and if the Loremaster, being his mother, had all the records dating back to Tiber Septim, you can make claim that Bryn has a legitimate right to be Emperor, if Titus Mede II were to hit the dust.

Knowing him, he wouldn't want it though. He never desired leadership, only to do his work and be left well alone. Only if I could show him and would have gone on more adventures together. But...all this has just ruined it. I only desire to be with him once more and, as much as I want it, I don't know if whether things would be the same between us again.

In my heart, however, none of this was his fault. If I could cast Zoklotinhaar out and bring Bryn back to his old self, I would be certain that perhaps we could make amends and get on the right track again.

* * *

I continued to make way throughout the halls, finding myself in a huge room, filled with torturous instruments and more draugr and members of the Cult. Seeing them made me feel sick...but I listened in to their conversation.

"Master Prolg assures us that our beloved Priest should be up to his full strength soon..." One spoke.

The other nodded.

"What are they waiting for?" The other wondered.

The first one shrugged.

"Don't know...the ritual is said to tedious. Requires a lot of ingredients and careful instructions. They may only have a limited amount to the products they have."

Hmm...so they are preparing something...interesting...

"What about the cat? Prolg never said what she was going to be used for."

"Yeah she's locked up on the other side of the building. Locked up tight. Prolg doesn't want anyone touching her until he gives the order."

"I still don't understand what a cat has to do with resurrecting a nord Dragon Priest. Is sacrifice part of the ritual?"

No...you will not touch Ayisha.

"It's old and complicated necromancy at it's best. Lord Alduin himself the real power to resurrect our blessed Dragon overlords. Is...he going to be here?"

"No. Don't think so. Though Zoklotinhaar is written as his favourite Dragon Priest. Surely this has to please him!"

"The Cult has done so well over the years. Why wouldn't he be pleased?"

I heard enough. In swift motions I fired arrows into the back of their necks with precision and aim, taking the draugr beside them as well.

The Cult will fall.

But now I had Ayisha's location and made haste across the fortress in the find her before it was too late.

* * *

The Fortress' aura was nothing to boast about. It felt charged by the ghosts betrayed by their own brethren. I felt the impure darkness intermingle with the pure shadows blessed by Nocturnal.

It was the kind of feeling that you wanted to run away from. But everything just felt...abnormal. The silence that dwelt within. I took down my draugr, carefully with my Nightingale blade, preserving arrows and energy where I can.

This was beyond the the vibe you would feel with the Dark Brotherhood. We were connected somewhat, but we kept our own matters in house. We provided resources to them at a discount price. Plus we had our connections through Maven, who paid us pretty well too. But...even so. I cannot imagine the horrors that placed themselves here.

But...something wasn't right. The place just shifted...with torches lit from the long hallway I was in, with those in garnet robes pouring through the hallway. A whole lot of them. I looked around, seeing a door way and jumped into it...but...the air itself, no longer had that aged scent. I turned to see blood everywhere on the floor, and a man, a nord, stuck on a rock..his arms and legs torn off and exposing flesh, bone and blood and left screaming for help.

"Please...make it stop...kill me!" He roared.

I looked over to him, my heart tearing apart.

"Tell me what's going on here?" I asked him. I will put him out of his misery soon enough.

He cried in pain, I felt nothing but dread for this poor soul.

"Zoklotinhaar...the Grand Dragon Priest. I...insulted the dragon lords only once and they put me in this oblivion-cursed place. Tore...my arms and legs...ahhh it hurts..."

I shook my head. No...this...is horrible. I complied with him.

"Don't worry, I won't allow them to torment you any longer!"

I reluctantly slit his throat and heard him whisper, thank you before ceasing. Suddenly I felt wind surround me as the room went dark.

After recomposing myself, there was no body cast in the torture rack. The air returned to smell old and rotten. I looked around. Nothing...nothing around me but ghosts and shadow. It..was an echo?

You just knew horrible things occurred her. It made me feel down but not out. I had to remain focused.

I continued walking around, finding steps down into a dungeon of sorts. Ayisha had to be there. I killed the guards protecting the entrance. It was locked, so I then stole a key from one of the corpses and opened the steel-brass door.

Inside were sets of cages, but...the wind...the aura's changed again. The smell shifted and I could see...a man in black robes, mask and feathers wandering around with a Cultist as they approached a cage. I hid behind desk and watched as they conversed with a being inside one of the cages.

"You...stand..." The man in ebony called out. His voice held authority.

The man inside the cage was nothing but bone thin, wearing rags and was filthy. He must have been in there a long time.

"Why do you constantly rant and rave about our Dragon Masters being..what? False Gods?"

The man grinned.

"They are nothing but pale shadows of the lord I serve. His power shall burn the world. Dragons are nothing but pompous lizards who are too lazy to rule their own. My lord knows...that Alduin won't even bother with you all eventually."

The man, though, he was extremely pale and had a familiarity about him. Not in who he was, but what he was.

"You are nothing but a waste of flesh that could have been put to use elsewhere. But your heresy was not tolerated, shouting in the streets of nothing but lies and slander, Sosnaak."

The man grinned, revealing his sharpened teeth. I knew what that meant.

He was a vampire.

"You lord fails to show himself, meaning he is nothing but a coward and Alduin will tear him apart, as he has with others who have destered in the past."

The man laughed, albeit very creepily.

"Ohh...oh no. I don't mean Alduin. I know you serve someone else. Molag knows and I can smell it on you Priest. Don't you back hand to me about heresy, hypocrite."

The man teared to the Cultist and nodded. The man walked away, as the Cultist cast flames on the vampire, burning him to a crisp. There was something, chilling as the vampire screamed, but I could swear that he was laughing...

Again, the dungeon went dark...another...echo of the past. The place must have thousands of stories to tell...

But it was huge and just went in deeply. Skeletons and old rusted weapons laid about as I snuck around. There was a huge draugr that I eliminated with a bit of difficulty, but wasn't too hard once I sliced it's head off.

It was protecting an iron door. I sensed a presence behind it. Ayisha, was that you?

I tried to open it, but it was locked tight. I tried picking at it, but it was being extremely stubborn that I must have broke a few dozen picks before almost giving up.

Come on...

Snap...

Come on...

Snap...

I was down to my last one...and...I wouldn't be able to save Ayisha...I slid down the door, depressed at my failure.

There had to be another way...

I then remembered...

Krosis.

I pulled out the mask and looked at it, feeling the identations. Nemetona...she said it had special lock picking capabilities. I put it on and tried again, albeit very carefully.

My heart skipped a beat a few times, worried that it was going to break again. I took deep breaths, my stomach wrenching. I found a spot and slowly turned willing myself not to shake and screw this up.

And I felt so relieved when I heard that satisfying click for confirmation.

I instantly opened the door, seeing Ayisha laying on the ground, asleep and wearing the same clothes as when I saw her in the Laaglein. Poor girl. I approached her and, well, I wanted to let her sleep, now was not the time. I had to get her out of here.

I shook her gently, causing her yawn and stretch. Her eyes widened as she shuffled back to the corner of the room, frightened. At first, I had no idea what she was scared of, then I realised it was my mask. Oops.

I took it off and tucked it away, smiling at Ayisha, who's face changed instantly at the sight of my face. She instantly got up and hugged me. I hugged her back, a grin striking in my face from ear to ear. I was...overjoyed to see she was still okay.

"Mama..." She croaked, crying into my stomach. I picked her up and carried her, allowing her to rest her head on my neck.

"There there...it's okay..." I spoke softly

"Mama's here. But...you need to get out of here...Mama has to find Papa and end this. Have you seen him?"

Ayisha shook her head.

"No...Ayisha does not want to leave you Mama...Ayisha senses great darkness ahead. Must leave, but must save Papa too."

I frowned. I know what she meant.

"Please Ayisha, they want to use you for a ritual but I don't know what it'll be. I'd rather not find out..."

I then realised there wouldn't be much of a way for her to leave the island without detecting the guards. I checked her finger, seeing that she still had the Ring of Khajiti on her. Good.

Good.

I put her down, but she just stared up at me with pleading eyes. I don't want her involved in this anymore than she needs to be. Please...Ayisha.

"Mama will bring Papa...I still owe you that promise." I told her.

She sniffed.

"Ayisha will stick to the shadows mama. Alkosh guide you." She told me. She turned herself invisible until no trace of her was heard or seen.

* * *

I felt a bit better, though I would be forever worried. I'd go with her but...if she can't manage getting herself off the island, then she definitely has the smarts to make sure she hides. I'm sure she'll be fine...she'll be fine.

I had courage and Ayisha had it as well. I had to force myself to proceed. I quickly left the dungeons, knowing I had at least ensured a life was spared and one of the most precious people I'd ever known. I will take her back to her real parents some day. If I can get to Elsweyr.

I continued upwards in the fortress, still stained with blood, ash and dirt. I found stares heading upwards, with a few draugr there meant I was heading in the right direction. I nodded, taking them down with swift strikes of silence and metals. I kept myself focused, that pretending that this was just any other job helped me greatly.

There was an open area, filled with crypts of draugr. I had to be cautious as I pursed my lips, keeping an eye on the most important aspects.

_Click..._

I looked down. I hadn't actually stepped on anything? But I could see the colourful slick on the ground and a lamp dropping to the ground. Shit! I ran off, trying not to slip over as the room filled with flames, alerting the draugr and popping them out of their coffins. Shit, shit shit! No!

I found another door that just wouldn't budge open. But then that I heard the Draugr burning to death, I would soon be next.

I sighed...I made enough noise

"_**Fus...RO DAH!**_" I shouted. I knocked the door off it's hinges and dived forward, avoiding the flames that almost singed me...

Phew!

I walked up the steps, dusting myself off after that horrible experience. But then I happened among an open area. I must have gone up pretty high now. I could see the darkened sky, with grey clouds circling the island.

There were two statues at the end of the open area, now that I see what the broken down temple that I was told about. The floor was of ruined white marble and destroyed pillars that were around the rectangular building. I approached the statues. Upon closer inspection, one statue was a giant one of Alduin, with runes underneath it in the Dragon Language. The one next to it, looked like it wasn't part of the original design of the temple was one I knew well.

Nocturnal.

Nemetona was right. Zoklotinhaar had torn loyalties between his Dragon God and his Daedric Prince. Aedra and Daedra. From what I have seen and heard, it was the Priest himself, who was tormented as such. Whether that reflected among the people he had tortured, was an interesting fact to consider.

If he had made the choice, which one would he have gone with? In theory, it could have been that both of them had actually cut ties with him altogether until he had made his choice. Still, Nocturnal was lady luck and you were bound for fortune, though with Alduin you had the might of the dragons by your side instilling fear into the hearts of men and mer.

I now, forever with the services of Nocturnal would have made that choice, even as Dragonborn, because I know that the world desires precedence and annexing ones self with another god or Daedric Prince is considered just down right weird and heretical, though mostly with the Princes...I have no idea how they work nowadays, just say you worship everyone and get over it.

If I was the Dragonborn in the past, before they knew the monstrosity he was, would I have chosen to worship the dovah? Even though I would be considered among them? Who knows? Apparently the very concept of a mortal having the ability to use the thu'um with such ease as the Dragons, is apparently horrific and outlandish to them as it would be to non-nords.

My fears made me avoid that once-ironic complex, that I was almost considered amongst that very creatures I have my phobia for. You could say I feared myself to an extent that I held the soul of the dragon from within and in alternate circumstances it could be me burning a town to the ground had I let the essences take over and just be as tyrannical as the dov themselves. I wouldn't want that. I have will that and if it ever got worse, be with Paarthurnax and meditate the urges away.

But then you know, Nocturnal herself doesn't care for prayers or anything of the sort. You serve her and you protect the Skeleton Key and the Twilight Sepulcher. You die and you soul goes to the Evergloam and they provide the very luck that is needed for us to work as thieves.

Zoklotinhaar would have had to have been something of the sort of a Nightingale at one stage, like what Nemetona mentioned. But where, in his mind, was the point where he had gone to worship the dragons? Was it a cultural expectation? How did he come to this position? It's a great mystery. How one would ally himself with Nocturnal then the Dragons? It made no sense.

"They expected that you would arrive eventually lass." I heard a voice trembling with a dozen others.

I turned around, seeing a man clad in the same gear I saw back in the dungeon, but I knew one of the voices that spoke with me.

"Brynjolf..." I muttered.

I couldn't see him underneath all that armour and cloth, but given the distinctness of the design, there wasn't any doubt that it was him.

"You made a mistake coming to Fellnir." He told me outright.

I frowned, my heart breaking again, I tried to walk closer to him but he raised his hand.

"Don't...just don't Petra. Go home. Before it's too late." He called out.

I shook my head and clenched my fist.

"I came here to save you Bryn. I want you to come home..."

I could feel my throat tighten and tears running down my face.

"You don't have to do this. Please. We can figure out a way to stop this. Just..."

Bryn looked down.

"As much as I liked to, I can't. I can't stand the thought of hurting you again." He spoke with sadness.

I sniffed.

"We can figure this out. We'll go home to the Guild..."

And at this point, I was in the middle of shattering, my voice falling apart.

"We...I will make good on my bargain...to kill a giant...and we can play that stupid game. I know you don't like it, but it would be fun."

He lifted his head.

"Petra...I never knew this was going to happen. Being with the Guild...being with you, were the happiest days of my life. And nothing would make me even more happy, is to stay with you. But I have to sacrifice that happiness, so you can live on. Be Dragonborn. Be who you need to be."

I pursed my lips. I wasn't going to let it go this easily.

"But I need to be with you. Sounds...selfish of me, but you're the reason I'm still alive. You told me Nightingales should stick together...I'm lost and alone in this world without you."

He grumbled.

"You have Karliah...you have Vex, you have Delvin, you have the rest of the Guild, you have most the province...willing to help you because you have helped them. Not exactly the most conventional method possible but you revived the Guild. You...I'm just...a monster."

I glared at him. The ferocity of the breeze increased, playing with my cape.

"No...you've given up but you didn't give any of it a chance to set things straight. I ran as a Vampire because I didn't want to hurt anybody either. But...you changed my mind. We went to Morthal and I was cured...went spent a night in that house and made love for the first time. Because we gave it a chance Bryn...what is stopping you from doing that now? Tell me!"

He turned away, unable to look at me. I couldn't believe he was just going to throw it all away like. That is not the man I love...I don't know what happened to him. I wanted him to be free as himself, we could run away somewhere and no deal with any of this. We could retire, live somewhere with ourselves...we could run to Elsweyr with Ayisha, to allow her to go back to her homeland. Anything, I just wanted my Brynjolf back.

"My love for you holds it all back lass. If it weren't for that, I don't know what would have happened..."

I rubbed my eye. This was my fault. All of it.

"It's because of me. I dragged you into it, without knowing what was going to happen. Had I had known, had I ignored that letter to come to Skyrim, my family would still be alive and you would have been with the Guild, smiling, being devious and up to no good because you were good at it."

He then turned his back on me. Come on...

"Aye, that much is true...although the Guild would have gone to dust...and Mercer would have gotten away with murder. You helped me see how much of a bastard he really was and I was doubting myself because of it. You convinced me it was going to be okay and that we were going to have fun. But now, with all this...my father..."

My eyes widened...he doesn't...he doesn't know.

"Bryn, I know this is going to sound like a load of crap to you, but...I met your mother...she's still alive."

He turned his head to look at me.

"You're pulling me leg there lass. Don't make jokes like that." He scolded.

I shook my head.

"No...your mother. She is Loremaster for the Nightingales. She's still alive!"

"That much is known indeed...thank you for confirming that for me...Dragonborn.."

I know that voice...from behind Brynjolf was a cultist, but I knew his face well enough as it burned into me that night...

"Prolg." I muttered with venom.

The bald man smirked with evil delight and started pacing around. He was like one of those bard-like people...or a horrid thane with bouts of despicable attitudes, thinking himself high and mighty.

"Mercer kept me with much detail over the years. Having stolen the Skeleton Key and murdered Gallus, enabling us to access the old Nightingale records. Such a library is extremely priceless, allowing us to dictate and navigate ourselves to find the true, blood heir to the Grand Master Priest throne. And what better person, that my own son."

I growled. I wanted to stab him in the throat, leave him hanging at the gallows and let the wolves eat him...then, let the dragons burn him. Let's see how that goes.

"But it allowed us to find that you were Dragonborn also. Finding the ancient texts for our dear leader required you participate in the ritual for his resurrection."

I snorted.

"As if! You never cared about your son! Only to have his blood in some stupid, atrocious cause so it will please your God, Alduin. Here's news for you friend, Alduin does not give a shit about you or anyone else. He's resurrecting Dragons, what makes you think he will even care if he's resurrected...and why ARE YOU USING YOUR ONLY SON?"

He brushed me off. Ohhh...you don't want to do that.

"Alduin can continue to do as he wishes. Zoklotinhaar made a pact with Alduin many years ago. The Dragons would have continued to dominate mortal kind had he not stepped into the task and used his formidable skills to convince the nords to worship them, instead of their useless, totems. We are trying to prevent more death, not cause it. By uniting everyone, including those in the war that tears the province apart, we'll be able to find true peace in worship of those of our betters."

What kind of stupid idea is that?

"That's a load of bullshit and you know it. I don't care. I am Dragonborn! I am sent to kill the dragons because that is what I was born to do...chosen by the Gods to undertake this task. Surely, you have got to see that."

Prolg rolled his eyes.

"We cannot trust the Dragonborn. They betrayed us in the past and are see as a nuisance. The kingdom would not have fallen, if your forerunner had not decided to screw things up."

He shouted with quite the fury attached to it.

I blinked. But I understood.

"Take a look around you...you know this place is filled with nothing but pain and agony because of people who you claimed were heretics. This makes you just as bad, if not worse, than the Thalmor." I taunted. Seriously, who wants to be compared to those supremacist assholes?

"Traitors need to die...simple as that. Either that, or submit their commitments to our masters and they will be rewarded." He called out calmly. He seemed so business like.

His logic...astounding...not.

"So you would rather have people live in fear of their rulers? No one sleeps, dwelling upon if the next day would come or not. Because you know, Alduin the World-Eater? Does that not ring any bells there?" I tried to point out.

He waggled his finger at me. The nerve!

"Again...the traitors wrote those stories. You cannot begin to trust those who have forsaken their hearts and prefer to partaking in violence against their masters and end up disrupting the peace."

I leered at him with all the spite I could muster.

"So, you prefer to use your own son, who was pretty successful mind you, to his Guild, loyal to his Goddess, loyal to his friends, kept the peace himself and now you're conflicting his mind and using him for the benefit and glory of a dragon, who pretty much disrupting the peace at this very moment. I applaud your infallible philosophy good sir." I said sarcastically.

He shook his head, disappointed.

"You're Dragonborn. Your heart is like those of the dragons but your mind is mortal and therefore you cannot control yourself like the dragons have tamed themselves to know. Hence, why your sacrifice would please Lord Alduin and give his attention back to the people who are loyal to serve him. Brynjolf, call on the Blood Dragon." Prolg ordered, before walking off.

I couldn't contain my anger. Sly bastard. I caught on to his little game, trying to taunt me back. Unable to control myself? No. Give me a reason to do so. I spearheaded forward, only to get struck by Brynholf, knocking me over.

"Bryn! He's mad! We have to stop him!" I cried out to him as I rubbed my neck.

His head fell, the only expression I could see.

"I'm sorry lass...I warned you..."

I got up off the ground, eyes wide open and shone like steel as I shook my head.

"Don't do it Brynjolf, I beg of you. Please..." I pleaded.

He rose his arms and looked up into the sky.

"Kill the Dragon. Then we'll see..."

I watched as the Blood Dragon shot up from below and began to circle the temple, roaring around us. Just what in Talo's name was going on here? This...I...why? Hm...I'll try...and I'll try despite my phobia...if Paarthurnax and Hahnubopraan proved that they worth talking to, I might be able to talk my way through this. But my heart was pumping faster and the usual signs were showing up again. But, now...the feeling of it was much weaker. I pulled out my bow. I had to push on.

Thankfully we were heading somewhere now.


	57. Soul

**AN: Petra gets a little...scary in this chapter.**

**Chapter 57**

**Soul**

I hadn't imagine it would turn out like this. I wouldn't say I was inspired. The world was against me, it hated me because of my existence. Because I was born to defeat the monsters that plagued this land and in that, those who would fear me because the way I am, simply do not understand the incorrigible terms to that the Gods had chosen me because that's the way it was going to be. This beast before me, a terrifying creature, a representative for fire and time immemorial, behest of the shadows it cast, it's eyes filled with a sharp fury. The phobia, weakened, might still cause an issue, but Petra, you have to fight. Bring out that dragon inside of you.

Time slowed around me as he shouted flames in my direction. I dodged at the last moment, barely singeing the end of my cape. With my Nightingale arrow, I watched it, taking deep breaths as I pulled back and found my aim as the creature flew around me. I let go, watching it as it struck the wing of the beast.

As I fought with skill, caution, I know that I was absolutely afraid. But, the solution wasn't to force myself to not fear them anymore, but to be able to push through that and use it to help me survive. I was following my own orders and in my mind telling me what to do and how to do it. To listen to the dragon-spirit with me, using the powers of domination against my immortal kin. I saw myself in it and then, it hit me...that they saw themselves in me. Because they saw through my human flesh and found my soul amongst the same streams of time that they were in.

Paarthurnax...Hahnubopraan. Both those dragons...knew what it was like. I will not last long as they, but they can see me for what I am and not just pale meat. I know that now. But, it's like being treated as a half-breed notably. But I am genetically from humanity but spiritual elsewhere. Like who was my mother screwing with? Okay that's just in poor taste just there. I am a terrible person.

But on a serious note, that burning desire within that I mistook for hatred of the world was just something natural. I have very good restraint at times I say, but...I leave myself alone, unknowingly in a meditate state just like Paarthurnax.

Did I fear myself because I am a dragon? The concept, the shape, the personalities and the personal experiences all caught up with the phobia's origins. Because I knew how much pain it caused. And to think, I also, can do the same if I so chose to. But...the power of choice allows me more freedoms than that. To understand the power within from a dragons perspective but have a mortal's input on the matter and to decide the middle ground.

I'm sorry, I'm just trying to make sense of all of this and while in my head it's clear, but to explain is hard enough without this dragon gunning for my head. As I fought it, it's just...seeing myself...there and now in combat. Of course my body was shaking but I had to fight that off with a keen and strengthened will, making the call every time I fired an arrow.

I then managed to get him to crawl to the ground. He was a beast, but...he was also...sentient. I tried to negotiate with it, to see what I could discover.

"You fight me because you know what I am. Like the rest of the dovah." I called out, withdrawing my bow and bringing out the Nightingale blade and Chillrend. I approached it slowly, dodging it's bites.

"I thought I was the weak one, but I was wrong. Strength is knowing your limitations. You think yourself strong because you have power and an infinite life span. I see how that makes one arrogant and reckless in battle.

"Lord Alduin demands your death, Dovahkiin. He hold the superior thu'um. I aim to test your thu'um for myself."

I smirked. The fire within me burned, running through my veins. I felt...confident...my heart beat was fast...but for first time...I...I was excited. As I looked up, seeing more dragons. I took another deep breath. This...was intense. Was...was this normal? I should be feeling scared, but...I was...just burning, aching for the kill. I inspected the area, at least three more dragons. I saw a path, and I knew...this what was I supposed to know. Instinct. Instinct to guide me. This is me as a dragon, facing my kin in combat. I will...kill them. Consume their souls. They dare face me!

"If Alduin...wants me..." I spoke with a lone tone as I gripped my blades tighter.

"Tell him I am waiting for him..."

I charged at the blood dragon.

"_**YOL!**_"

I stunned the beast briefly, jumping up and threw myself forward, double-slicing the dragons neck, shocking him...and myself...but...I wanted more.

I leaned back to avoid a tail being swung at me. I was shaking...but not with fear...but with thrill. This what I am. I fought like I had done this a thousand times before, swift action after swift action, quick and nubile like a Nightingale Dragonborn should be.

A Frost Dragon aimed towards me...I leaped into the air and ran across it's back, dragging the tips of my swords alongside it's back, causing it agony and forcing it to cry out in pain. Good.

I want them to feel what I felt that day at Helgen. I want them to know what it was like, to see fire burning all around them...to see that how their blood is shed to know that they maybe be immortal, but I hunger for their souls...

It was an extraordinary battle indeed. The dichotomy of combat, the invigoration, the nerve, the steel, jump, slice, weave, dodge. This was how being a thief is more about practicality and being Dragonborn is having the strength to fit nicely alongside it. Was there anything else to lose? I had lost my humanity once...but then I wondered, if I'd shoved it aside again, would I still be strong enough? Would I be able to get it back again?

Being a Vampire brought me more capability as a warrior than I was a person. But...I wasn't going to go down that road again. No...this was about the spirits...those who have empowered me and I was wasting that away. Look what I can do now!

* * *

I successfully had killed the blood dragon and relished in taking it's soul, giving more of that sweet essence that I was created to do. I shall put back the meaning of Dragon in Dragonborn! I had never felt more alive in the bloodlust pushing me forward. I had then given all my might in my conquest. A conquest to prove that the dragons themselves have joined the right side. I will kill Alduin...that is my purpose.

I screamed as I shoved my blades deep, smashing their scales and watching the blood pour from the wounds I created. I absorbed the life energy thanks to the Nightingale blades enchantment, just letting it give me more and more as I continued to fight. Something about sucking the life out of them gave me vampiric memories.

I gritted my teeth, impaling another dragon, then flipping backwards to avoid it's frost breath...

I lost myself to the bloodlust...seeing more dragons on the horizon...my heart pumped more blood...just to let me move more. Good...give me more...this was more war and be damned I was going to let my phobia overtake me again. I have Akatosh...I have Talos...I have Kyraneth...and I have Nocturnal's eyes watching me...helping me...always.

Splashing of dragon blood covered me and steamed off my body. I killed the frost dragon as I ran my blade through it's ugly heart, both of us roaring with the intensity. I felt it's soul enter me, a power so relished that it only made me stronger.

And...I laughed...I _laughed_...why was it funny? Was I having fun with this? This was...incredible, astonishing, brilliant...this...I am alive. I AM ALIVE!

"You have caused me enough pain. All of you. All for your selfish conquest and your World-Eater. Sounds like he has all the traits of just being plain greedy. You might not consider me among your ranks. But...I am your worst nightmare. I am the flames that burn down homes...but instead of taking innocents, I am your World-Eater. You are all from an age long since past, and Alduin is just the end of an era." I spoke calmly, resisting the urge to grin.

I continued my fight because I could...

I stabbed one underneath his head, piercing Chillrend through it's lower jaw

"**THIS IS WHAT FEAR IS!**" I shouted and wrenched the blade in further, sticking the the Nightingale through it as well, causing the dragon to scream in absolute agony.

"**THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE FEEL EVERYDAY...WHAT I HAVE FELT FOR A LONG TIME! NOW I AM THE ONE YOU SHOULD BE AFRAID OF!**"

I absorbed his soul rather quickly, a desperate act for a hopeless and cowardly dragon.

* * *

It wasn't long before the temple was covered in nothing but a a few dozen dragon skeletons. Had Alduin, had the Cult...had the Dragons in general been so desperate to eliminate me? I lie, it's actually just a dozen skeletons...twelve souls. Consumed. Because they had such a a hopeless cause behind them that just made them stupid to believe they could defeat me. I was made for them.

I puffed and panted, still gripping on my blades tightly, getting my breath back. I still had lava in the blood, my aura strengthened. I wanted more.

I turned to see Brynjolf standing there. He didn't know what to do. I wanted to smack sense into him.

I withdrew my blades and approached him slowly, wiping my face of steaming dragonblood. I stared him down with such ferocity.

"You see here. This is nonsense. It's no use staying here with Gods who bleed. But their pride was their downfall. And where is Alduin to save them? Where is he Bryn?"

He looked down.

"Lass...look..."

I shook my head and grabbed the mask off his head. I wanted to see his face.

It was like that night near the border. His face twisted, eyes glowing blue.

"Don't you lass me! Have you not learned anything? I have destroyed them as they have destroyed me! My life! They have destroyed you and you are...just not seeing that. You can fight fate Bryn. You have choice, like me.."

He shook his head.

"No...I don't. Nothing would bring me more joy...to be with you again. But...I just can't..."

He said sadly.

I rolled my eyes and picked him up by his collar, bashing him against a half-broken pillar behind him and put my face so close to his our noses' nearly touched. I squinted at him.

"Then you are not the Brynjolf I know." I muttered, furious.

His face was deeply saddened.

"I know that...Petra, I never wanted to bring harm to you. But...if this...I want to delay this as much as I can. The Gods have you on the noble path. For me, I'm only destined for death and destruction...and I won't be me much longer."

I slapped him.

"Don't you say that...don't you ever say that..." I scolded, letting more tears down my face.

"I will kill each and every one of those cultists...and I will kill your father. If you can call him that."

He gulped. I believed that Bryn knew that getting rid of Prolg was inevitable.

"Even if I went back, what's to say I won't relapse...I'm not as strong as you lass...you're better off killing me now. Shor knows that's the only way to stop this. So then you will be free to kill Alduin. Just promise me that you'll still be you. Your...display...that was not you out there. I want to know you as Petra the Professional Thief... Not Petra the Dragonbutcher."

I gritted my teeth. What does he know?

"I want you as Brynjolf the gentleman. Brynjolf the Stubborn Nord who never gave up me. I want the man who kissed me, who felt me. I have done the impossible before and I will do so again. You just gotta let me try..."

I...saw him cry. I never saw him crying so hard. I dropped him down, feeling the anguish within him. I...couldn't be angry with him. Only relatively annoyed he would just...throw his life away like that because he didn't know what was happening to him. I placed my hand on his shoulder,

"Please...Bryn...let me...let me...try." I muttered, trying to get him to look at me.

There was a sudden shift in aura's as Bryn stopped crying. His eyes burned black and were furious with me. I didn't see his fist fast enough to avoid it, punching me across the ground. Shit...I knew something wasn't right.

He grabbed his mask and placed it back on himself. That wasn't Brynjolf.

I wiped the blood from my nose and forced myself off the ground and growled.

"Get out of him now, you son of a bitch!" I shouted.

He stood up, relatively calm in stature and form. Which pissed me off greatly.

"Brynjolf has been a good servant and has done what was required of him. Only your sacrifice remains Dragonborn and I will be up to full strength again." He told me, the thousand voices speaking at once again.

I started to shake with anger.

"Because he never wanted any part of this! He wasn't sure what to do because his asshole of a father used him. So what if my predecessor killed you. I am not that person. I am my own. I know all about the lineage...I know about how you fell in love with Nocturnal and Alduin not paying attention to you anymore..I'm kind of glad they did kill you. I owe them my thanks. Your weakness cost you greatly. Your moment caused a fracture in the ancient society and the catalyst to your cults downfall." I pointed out.

He was...just still. It was an eery sensation.

"I will not be ignored. I hate being ignored. I despise ignorance. I despise heretics and abominations such as yourself who dare to be called Dovah. I will bring this world to it's knees and make them see. It's a terrible world filled with betrayal. To unite Skyrim and Tamriel. We will gain peace."

Great not this bullshit again.

"Then you're being hypocritical of absolutely of everything. You want peace with tyranny. I'm sorry Zoklot, it doesn't work that w-" I pointed out, until he cast shock magic in my direction, as Nocturnal protected me by allowing me to dodge at the right time.

"Only Paarthurnax is worthy of calling me Zoklot...valdrek."

I smirked.

"Haha...funny you should mention Paarthurnax. He no longer works for Alduin. You want to know why? Because his own brother abandoned him. He aided mortals in the past to defeat him."

Zoklot shook his head.

"Paarthurnax would do no such thing. This world is cruel. But we will find a way."

I rested my hand on my hip.

"Paarthurnax is a good dragon. A rarity these days. Shown me that Dragons can be reasonable. Alduin is simply not. If you opened your eyes for just one second, you'll see..."

He lowered his head.

"You became a Nightingale. You fell in love with a Daedric Prince who wouldn't love you back. You were angry. You found Alduin and pledged your soul to him and you swore to enslave the cruelty of mankind because you were unloved. You wanted people to love you because Nocturnal couldn't. But you ruled through fear and torment. You got the respect of the dragons but never of your own kind...never from Nocturnal. You are still an agent maybe? But your spirit couldn't rest properly in the Evergloam. When Brynjolf became a Nightingale that was your chance...you could have possessed him there but not until I had placed the Key back in the Sepulcher, to allow the Ebonmere to flow once more and your spirit released." I assumed, judging from everything I had seen so far.

"Nocturnal didn't want anything to do with me. I put up shrines of her...like the you see over there. Because I wanted to see her again and let worship of her spread around. But I wanted more a balanaced power. When Alduin decided to rule the nord peoples I happily agreed. Because at least then I could get what I wanted. And I did." He replied.

"For a while..." I continued.

I could feel him glaring at me.

"I was getting it all sorted, until that...traitor decided to attack us. He was the hokzii in our eyes. And murdered me. Have you ever felt betrayed?"

"Yes." I replied bluntly for obvious reasons.

"Then you know what it's like. Trust is hard to come by. And I simply do not trust you. And Alduin himself does not..."

I rolled my eyes.

"Have you ever stopped the think why we are here? Because you go too far. Your Gods...especially Alduin have abused their positions and because of what they are, they are forced to create us to punish you all. Akatosh sees this ahead of time because He can. Just...get it in your head. You'll be much more relaxed..."

He pulled out Bryn's dwemer sword and inspected it.

"You weren't there when the dwarves were still alive. They empowered this sword and it came back all the way down as the Cult intended..."

I watched him whack it against the pillar, shattering it in an unholy light, revealing a unique blade, made of an dwemer metal base and ebony blade with dragons and ravens embedded into it.

"They call this Rahkes. I want you to fight me. See who's will is stronger and who the gods favour more."

I smirked.

"Fine..." I said, keeping myself calm.

"I'm okay with that..."

Suddenly the dragon skeletons disappeared. When I turned to Zoklot, who just had the body language suggesting this wasn't what he had planned either. But...

I watched on as large violet portals surrounded the temple, with several people popping out of them. I recognized some of them wearing black clothing and some of them wearing brown clothing...no...couldn't be.

"Heya Petra!" Said Delvin, smiling and waiving at me.

All around the temple were members of the Thieves Guild, and Delphine? What in Gods name...

"Your little Khajiit friend insisted we come help you. Didn't think she had a friend who would bring us here that quickly though." Vex stated.

Ayisha...

She stood there alongside Karliah and Nemetona...I...I couldn't fail her. No..no. I wouldn't want her to see her own son like this. I had to make sure he gets out of this alive.

I clenched my fist tight...gaining back that determination with will alone. But they didn't need to be here at all. What in Oblivion was going on? I had my own little cheer squad all of a sudden? Okay then...

I wandered over to the other side of the temple, like the whole floor was the battle ground. The clouds got darker, the air cold. But it mostly was more intense.

We stood on each end. I had a blade in each hand, ready to strike once more.

"Wait, that's Brynjolf? Wow...that's pretty badass." Sapphire commented, talking with the other members of the Guild.

"Hey...we were told to cheer for Petra...you know what the Guildmaster said..." Thrynn noted.

These...ragtag misfits...here. No way Ayisha brought them all here. Unless there was something she wasn't telling me... they were...important to me. I may not say I care, but, they have been family to me. Despite all the pranks...and jokes...they...believed in me.

But that didn't matter now. It was between me and Zoklotinaar now as I unsheathed my blades once more as we stood on opposite ends, staring each other down.

Thankfully I had a plan in mind.


	58. Wings

**AN: Still want to thank you guys for reviewing and taking the time to read this...chapter 58 and we're still going. Good to see some of you still sticking around. Well, here's chap for you all. Philosophical and an interesting fight! Read on!**

**CHAPTER 58**

**Wings**

Who would have thought it would come to this? Never in my whole life would I have seen myself standing here in such an unorthodox situation. Fighting this Dragon Priest, taking hold of of the man I care about. Damn right I am pissed off about it.

I felt the strands of the dragon souls I absorbed run through my veins as mystical energies that empowered my own spirit. I have taken down mindless soldiers of this ungodly war, to take down the creature who dares to consume it, destroy it in his childish haste.

But this life as Dragonborn, was much more heroic than my stance as a professional thief, with larceny just coming naturally to me, like I never had a rebellious childhood, filled with restraint and amazing self-control. It's odd to say that I felt protected by the Guild all this time, and partaking in the realms of Aedra and Daedra is so far off the spectrum I wanted to be in, that you can say being Dragonborn is just how it is that it just comes to you because you are supposed to be there and not amongst the roles of the ordinary just trying to make a living.

I feel somewhere in the middle of all the magic above me and the mundane below me. Magic has always been the most curious of the mages that study it, finding the source of the power and finding ways to manipulate magicka in ways you can never imagine. Mother's father was once a mage from Winterhold. I used to like watching him do his tricks, much to the dismay of mother herself, who did not want to him to show me any of the sort. I guess because of what's happened of the eras. I once spoke with one of the Apprentices at the College about this topic, he stated that wars and events like the Oblivion Crisis have not helped the stigma of just using it general almost taboo. I don't blame them, but it tends to gauge on those with noble hearts who just want to study it for the good of the world.

To me, while father taught me in the ways of the sword and bow, magic was just one of those topics that you would always be mysterious. Because you don't know what's going to happen but it takes a lot of dedication to cast even the simplest spells. My time as a Vampire allowed me to explore that because it came to me easier than when I was human, that I once I studied it, it made sense. Perhaps though, that people want to become immortal because it not allows them to live forever, but the structure of their mind changes. You have time to study and absorb information a lot easier. Immortality that has a price when not attained properly, so people attune themselves to become a God, to gain that omniscience, to know everything.

I only want to know if it's relevant. I'd lost my touch with mortal kind and felt outside the pool of inclusion. Its the way that the magic flows through you, creating an abnormal aura you're used to feeling. You look at your hands and know they're yours but they could do so much more than the could before. But in your heart you can't help feel that such the dramatic change that, was it worth it to feel like you've been to Aetherius and you never really came back.

Maybe that feeling was why some vampires longed to return to living. They never really felt like they belonged and that being alive was something they had taken for granted. The power for the price of your humanity. Brynjolf was willing to accept, but to what extent was I Petra when I sucked the blood out of the dragon in Morthal? Where was I? I had succumbed to temptation that the power brought.

It was either that or the dragon slayer with the grin that was written with darkness all over now that you were the wielder of extra gifts, more than the Gods intended, perhaps it was the feeling of blasphemy. Though, I had gone and made my pact with Nocturnal prior, she ceased to care when she made the topic apparent. Do Gods make judgement on that sort of thing? Do they know that one day you might turn your back on them? It's a great mystery. This stuff either happens or you may still be in their good books...who knows?

But the fascinating fact was Brynjolf was...well, by blood related to Tiber Septim and Zoklotinhaar. Funny how events turn out, that his very descendant was Dragonborn. Found it even more funny that Bryn had Dunmer ancestry. Who would have thought. But...he himself...not really connected in anyway and I can see why he would have wanted to keep his distance from it all and that becoming a Nightingale, in his mind, would have severed the ties between himself and his fathers zealous worship of Talos, who was once a Nightingale himself, according to Bryns mother.

* * *

Standing here in the chills of the winds from the sea, from Atmora, our ancestral land, it was hard to imagine it would even get this far, so deep into what we are and what we had become. He brandished his raven wings from his back. I see what was going on. It clicked between us as we began our charge towards each other, swinging and clashing our blades in a speedy pace and were showered with sparks, we swirled, spun, dodged, weaved to our flanks, hoping to find weakness and strike. I didn't want to hurt Brynjolf and I dreaded that. I had to admit Zoklot was fast and I had trouble keeping up with him.

He threw his sword forward, where I crossed my blades to block him, and I could feel his ethereal eyes staring at me. He was overpowering...what was going on? I can take down several dragons but suddenly something not even half the size was proving difficult.

"Quit holding back." He scolded.

Holding back...wait...

"Your heart sees me as Brynjolf. Displace that and fight me!"

I summoned strength from my depths, pushing the priest back, barely fazing him.

I grunted and panted, my soul continuing to burn with anger...and reluctance.

By...Nocturnal he was right. I knew Bryn was in there and...I can't bear to hurt him.

"You have convinced me that you are Dovahkiin, as the others have taken to calling you...you took down those dovah like your predecessor did long ago. You are all the same abominations."

I started shaking with rage.

"Akatosh created us like he created your masters" I spoke with calm fury.

"We were meant to punish the dragons for their treachery!"

He shook his head.

"Enough! What good is a Dovahkiin, if they are unable to soar like the dovah themselves?"

He flapped his wings, shooting up into the sky, holding himself well up there.

I hope he didn't expect me to waste arrows on him. I smirked.

"Pffff! Foolish. You still underestimate me Priest!"

Zoklot readied himself.

"Very well, Vostahdim. Prove it!"

I took a deep breath...this had better be worth it.

"**Bo! Vond Uft!**"

The vortex of dragon energies covered me with the magical limbs that have accompanied me before. I flapped the wings and flew myself to Zoklot's level.

"So...you use to wings of a dov now? Interesting."

I heard the others chatting below me.

"Sweet Mara on Sundas...she's flying...and glowing?" Delvin commented with awe.

Those souls I have within called out for vengeance. Their spirits, in my command. I had proven my thu'um superior. At least their pride allows them to admit defeat.

Zoklot's just being in denial about it all.

And into the fray we went, trying to hit each other from all angles. I didn't want to hold back as I held seething hatred for the priest...but the soul left abandoned inside, the one I so desperately wanted to save...I couldn't stand it.

Get control of yourself Brynjolf...please.

Our battles coincinded with the a storm brewing around us in the sky, as rain poured from above. Lightning struck as we got higher, almost being blinded by the sheer amount of water around us. It got much colder, but the sheer ferocity of our battle, the flames of our passioned hearts, fighting with determination for our causes that we neglected all us.

I was Dovah alright...the skies were more...for us. We, in Kyraneth's realm. I dove downwards, hoping to get him from behind, but he was just too quick for me. Come on Petra, you need to be faster.

"You still think Brynjolf is inside of me? You love the man more than your hatred for me? It's what makes you weak. You'll always be weak." He shouted.

I gritted my teeth.

"Don't blame my concern for my love for Bryn. Worry more, about your own failures..."

_**(Blinded by Failure)**_

"You...you who could not have the woman he loved...he who, was abandoned by his God...no...Nocturnal is a mystery to us all...will always be a mystery. She's a Daedric Prince. She cannot be touched, harmed or convinced. She, like Alduin, are those from the dawn of the realms of true mental and physical immortality. Alduin...abandoned everyone on his conquest, his thirst for power. He wanted to dominate Tamriel..."

In Zoklot's pissed off state, he tried to swing his sword sideways, like, wanting to cut me in half. I back-flipped and crossed my blades again in defense.

"Enough...what was such a world controlled by a God, if it was not one of peace? A true unification and harmony...why must you not see that?" He called out to me...his tone, desperately clinging to his rock hard beliefs. But even then...rocks can be broken.

"Because Alduin doesn't give a shit about us mortals. His role is end the world, not save it!" I roared. Seriously, just open your eyes!"

But his stance was still in denial.

He continued to try and attack me...I either blocked, dived or dodged with every swipe. He was the one in the truest of anger. I was making him crack. Good. One of his attacks, I had countered somewhat, slicing a feather off his raven wings, but it was a sign that his own spirit was failing him.

"Paarthurnax...himself had seen the error of his ways..." I told him, as I stared down at him...

I felt the warmth of the sun behind me, casting my own shadow on Zoklot as Kyne made her presence known. Good to have her at my back. Literally.

"The Dragons lost the war for a reason. For men and women, learning to use the thu'um because Kyne herself allowed them to. Because she knew it was a losing battle for those who could not defend themselves. But she allowed the worthy, the dedicated and the self-sacrificing mortals to gain this gift to let the Dragons know that mortals are the most hard-working people. Because they know they don't live forever, but be damned if they didn't well try."

He floated there, contemplating my words. He held his head in pain. That had to be Brynjolf...fight! Fight! Fight!

"You are mortal yourself...that is true. You don't want to die. No one wants to die. So mortals cling on to power, the illusion that they're infallible. But it does not mean they're immortal. They just live longer than most people..."

He lifted his head to stare at me. Get in there Bryn...you can do it.

"Explain the Draugr...explain my brethren...the Gods would never make us fall like that, or else it'd be pointless to serve them in death." He called out.

I face palmed. I took out Krosis as an example and showed it to him.

"Brynjolf and I made quick work of your brother. And Draugr that you have seen. That is not true immortality. That is undeath. That...is different. You are nothing but a monster. You have control over them but they have lost themselves to a curse that no longer sits with everyone else...they can never have their lives back. Neither did Krosis...neither did anyone else sitting in side with you. You died before the curse was put on you and your brothers. The Dragons rewarded your services by getting rid of your souls. Yours just happened to linger elsewhere...because it was tied to somewhere else."

He grumbled.

"We made them live forever! That's what they wanted!" He cried out.

I sighed and put the mask away.

"The difference between your Gods and our Gods of this era, is that we dictated them to each of their corresponding roles. Arkay, for example, the God of Life and Death, is meant to ensure that the dead stay that way. Alduin resurrects dead dragons. To him, that's considered heretical. Necromancy is mostly taboo, not banned but frowned upon. But...Alduin has this ability via his father Akatosh...my spirit father. So you can say it's not...but only to Dragon kind. Perhaps...and this is just me taking an uneducated guess, is that one day, maybe these dragons will actually see the damage they've caused. Like Paathurnax, they could be redeemed. But, I have proven...my own existence has proven that to be false. I am here to fix up a mistake. I am not mad at Akatosh, because we all make mistakes. I'll clean up his mess. But for the Draugr...they made their conscious choice by siding with the tyranny when they had the chance to run away." I pointed out.

Zoklot tightened his grip on his sword.

"Does not make mortal kind just as bad as the dov? There are those who need taming and they run wild, killing left and right and violating the laws we made to protect them. It is...hypocritical."

I sighed. There is a better way to word it, I'm sure. I believed now that there are reasons for everything. That in my position I can clearly see the huge differences between mortals and immortals besides the aging part.

I heard another set of wings, heavy, like those of a dragon. I could see a familiar grey figure heading in our direction.

"Zoklotinhaar, the dov have had plenty of time to think about their choices. By dying temporarily, their spirits linger on, wondering what went wrong. Some don't bother to think, but...joor sonah dreh ni lost mahfaeraak. (Mortal kind doesn't have forever). However, they have freedom and flexibility to change their minds because death is the worst punishment for them...and not the dov. Because we know in hindsight, that we are cast out, then cast back in again in time...unabided."

_Paarthurnax..._

Zoklotinhaar looked at the aged dragon...I sensed the sorrow and disbelief in his heart.

"Old friend. Why do you side with them? Did the Vostahdim not tell you that they're nothing but trouble for us! Horrific half-breeds!" He sneered.

"Because Kyne had told me what was going on. And Alduin himself, I had found him...at Skuldafn, going to Sovngarde to consume more souls. I held a tinvaak with him about his plans and told him about the Vostahdim. He told me, that to tell the others that he was their God and will punish the nords for their heresy and those who side with him will be rewarded. Look at the Draugr and the Dov Priests...they're nothing but liivor nass, rotting corpses with no sign of their former selves...only the dedication and declaration of honour to their false God."

He held his again, moaning in pain...Bryn...

"But...he is a God! He can never truly die...after all, the Vostahdim, after his boasting, never killed him...did he? Because he was scared of his power!" Zoklot boasted, albeit weakly.

Paarthurnax shook his head.

"Niid, Zoklot...Akatosh made us. He was always our Borhamu...our father. I knew Alduin's claims were always false. Then... it made me see that what were doing was wrong. I had made the terrible decision against my fathers true will. Daar lost ni un saad heyv (This wasn't our real duty) The Vostahdim was a result of our sway from our role. I heeded the call of Kyne, who taught me how to make amends."

I looked at the Priest, I could almost hear his heart twisting within him, wrenching. I almost, pitied him.

"There is time for you...I would give you that time, except that time is not yours. A man was born with that flesh and he was raised in that flesh. That is his time you are wasting..."

My eyes hurt...and my throat ached, vision blurring and nostrils moist.

"That man you have forced to subdue...wanted none of this. You want domination...and your false Gods at your back. Look around you. This is the fourth era. Times change...people change. Not everyone will gladly lay down the weapons to worship like they used to. They know the truth...all of them. Nothing but a bed time story for the children. They will pray to the real divines, and while some may tread in fear on the sight of a dragon, others will take arms in the defence despite the fact they will die. But they died for what they believed in. They died so that others may live. That is the true meaning of mortality...is that we know our sacrifices have to mean something in order for our lives to have purpose.. and that in the short time we exist...that we make the memory of our loved ones remain with us forever."

Brynjolf you better be fighting in there.

"You...would die for him? A lowly thief? For something as temporary and impeding as love?" He asked me.

I nodded.

"You would have done the same for Nocturnal if given the chance. You made your oath long ago. A contract from a Daedra is more...permanent than a dragons, that is made up of false promises. Your spirit...was it not with the Evergloam this entire time?"

He shook his head.

"No...no it wasn't...the Cult of Slaughter...they took me from the Evergloam, told me the Dragons were returning and the age of unity was at hand. They smuggled me out of there. I didn't want to leave...I was still in the terms of agreement with her when they took me out. When the time came, they revealed that my Concubines survived the war and kept on eye on the lineages, going from Cult leader to Cult leader over time...and time in the Soul Cairn is often...twisted. They'd made some sort of deal with the Ideal Masters that they would sacrifice more souls for them to get me out of there in the future. And now...here we are. Stuck in the body of my descendant."

Paarthurnax looked at him sadly.

"Praz do nahlrii vozahlaas (The price of being immortal)"

Figures the Cult would go so low as to finally get what they wanted in the end. No matter...I will do what had to be done.

"Perhaps I shall send you back myself. Don't know if Nocturnal would welcome you back with open arms. But, your soul is already hers. She would be most pleased if you ended up protecting it again..fulfill the terms of your agreement and you'll find release." I offered him. Don't actually know if she'll do that though. She's awfully ambiguous when she wants to be.

"I...I...I don't know..."

I flew towards him, sheathing my blades. It was obvious I had broken his mind. It would do the same to me, well, my mind had been broken before. But it can be repaired that's for certain. We just need to reconstruct his perspective.

"You know who you should serve. The one that makes you happy...not the one who causes you doubt." I told him, knowing who I should trust myself with.

"What if you're wrong?" He asked me, his fingers still wrapped around the handle of his blade.

"If I'm wrong? Hm...you can only try..." I admitted. Yeah...he saw through that as he looked at me.

"And you're doing this...you want me out because of the thief?" He questioned.

Of course.

"Yes...your actions make we want to cast you back to a more fitting realm for you. However, we all gotta go do what we hate."

He looked down.

"You're...you're right. I'm afraid to die. Didn't want to know what became of me beyond death because I had hatred towards Nocturnal. You would have seen her. She's beautiful. I fell in love with her when I first saw her that I once guarded the Sepulcher with pride, hoping she would notice my dedication. But over time, I saw less and less of her, before finally trying to make contact with her. I went...mad without seeing her. I'd lost my direction in life. I had met with Alduin one day and witnessed his power for myself, turning the sky a different colour and giant rocks of fire falling like heavy rain. He had massacred a town of nords. I was more in awe than in fear of him, knowing he was a God who took action. I assumed that they had not been worthy in his eyes. So I offered my services as a sneak to him, offering to take down traitors to his cause. He took me in...but...I couldn't stop thinking about her. I rose through the ranks because of my skills and I relished in it..."

He explained.

Paarthurnax agreed.

"Yes...and he assigned me to you to make sure you were doing your role properly and to protect you. He called you his favoured child because you were willing to do what ever he wanted. Your heart...still burdened with the mortal expression of lokal (love)."

I froze...wait...why does this all...sound familiar? I shook it off and looked at the soul before me.

"Come with us then. We'll make sure you get home..."

* * *

We flew back down to the surface, where everyone had waited for us. I saw Ayisha crying as we descended. Paarthurnax joined us soon after, actually freaking everyone out.

"Relax, relax...he's on our side..." I called out to them.

I'm pretty sure some of them needed to change their pants.

"Why aren't I surprised Petra's got herself a Dragon pet?" Said Vex with exhaustion in her tone.

The old dragon looked at the woman.

"Be careful, tafiir, I might make you my pet..."

Delvin brought out his dagger.

"Hey, don't start something with her, Dragon..." He called out angrily.

"Relax Delv, he's just being sarcastic." Vex assured.

Zoklotinhaar looked a bit more...relaxed but still rather conflicted within himself. It must have been hard, to work all this way and turn back. I couldn't imagine the turmoil he had.

Ayisha ran towards me and hugged my leg. I patted her head and smiled. Always good and heartwarming to see her.

"It's up to the strong to protect the weak...but it's also the strong protecting the strong as well. Because we cover each others' flaws. By doing so, as a team, we're nearly unstoppable." I told him.

"I still don't know, be wary of that. I am in the middle of taking thoughts in and finding out why. Alduin is back...and you say you're here to defeat him. Another abomination in the end of an age. And you claim the world would be against me this time...I do not trust you...but I'm willing to trust Paarthurnax."

I shrugged.

"I don't mind where you are, as long as you're out of his body and no longer terrorising mortal kind like that..."

"Take me to the Sepulcher then. Perhaps we can..."

"Well well well..."

We turned to see Prolg standing there with his arms crossed. I almost forgot he was here. He stood in front of us, then patted Ayisha's head aggressively.

"Should have known my own son would hold you back...you disappointment me and our masters Zoklotinhaar." He commented within the mount of his own smugness.

"The Cult forced me into this against my own will. I only wish to serve Nocturnal." Zoklot said proudly. His tone was more positive and fresh.

"And using your own son? Despicable. Unlike you I know the importance of family and strength..."

I smiled. Even Dragon Priests have standards.

Prolg rolled his eyes.

"You're all a bunch of morons relying on sentimental rather that the truth. Very well, might as well take matters in my own hands..."

In a motion that was too quick for us to see, he'd grabbed Ayisha, causing my heart to jump and pulled the Ring of Khajiiti off her finger and pushed her aside, I ran to her aid and helped her up, I watched as the bald man disappeared into the shadows, as he chuckled and put the ring on himself. I kept on guard, as Zoklotinhaar's blade went missing.

My heart skipped as well. Why would...

_No..._

"Mama...that sword...it..."

**NO!**

I ran towards Zoklitinhaar as Prolg reappeared, running towards the Priest with Rahkes, his special dwemer blade. I pushed him out of the way, earning the blade into my gut. This tends to happen to me a lot doesn't it? This time was different. I was...this was a nice piece of irony happening right here...yeah..hehe...not much I could do...I was frozen in place. But...I wanted no regrets...and for them to live on. I'm glad I made Zoklot see. I'm...happy...

"Mama!" I heard Ayisha.

"Stupid Thief!...no matter, your soul would bode well there. You have seven seconds to say your prayers before your soul is confined to the Soul Cairn."

I couldn't move, only my head. I turned to Zoklotinaar, wanting to thank him for changing his mind as I smiled weakly...and if Brynjolf was there...

"Brynjolf I lov-"


	59. Blinded by Failure

**AN: I want to point out that this chapter may not make sense to anyone. If you do then good! I'll be pleasantly surprised. Read on...**

**Chapter 59**

**Blinded by Failure**.

I was in a terrible nightmare...of fire, blood and screaming. So much fire...then...it went cold. Dark...the shadows around us in burning violet flames.

As a young lad I saw things in my dreams that I never thought possible. There was the absurd contradictions that were always there...like walking on walls, for some reason, being emperor. Those sorts of nonsensical products brought up by Shor knows what. Mother used to tell me that Dreams are affected by what's around you. Even the subtlest detail is influenced by the smallest sights that you never think twice about. Perhaps you went to a town and passed a statue, read a book that mentioned something just once and it dives into your subconscious and stays there.

When I grew older, darkness and the unknown paraded my mind and I often believed I wasn't dreaming at all. It's here there perhaps, that what has happened was something telling me what was going to happen, right here and right now. One night as I slept, the image of a young girl in a blue dress that visited me, who was blind.

A young girl with short brown hair and an adoring smile gave me a purple flower and prompted me to chase her around a tall forest filled with torchbugs and eyes that watched us. But the eyes, they weren't there to hurt me, but they guided me, watched over me. As strange as it sounds...sometimes the creeks nearby flowed with the clearest waters, then the next moment be filled with silver substance.

I visited the same forest...after blacking out. I looked around, trying to find where I was. I hadn't been here since I was a boy.

The girl reappeared, frowning with her purple flower dying in my hands. She ran away from me, scared. I hadn't done anything.

I chased after her, after seeing I was alone in the darkness and wanted her to keep me company.

But as I ran, the forest got thicker and thicker and it got angry with me. I had walked off the given path and was in the middle of nowhere for what felt like hours.

I came across the young Khajiit...Ayisha...

She was sitting on a stump, leaning over with her hands in prayer and eyes closed. The trees turned to silver like the waters of the creek as the torchbugs flew around me. Her words in her mother tongue, wearing an interesting black get up. She stopped her muttering.

"Ayisha knows you are lost in the forest. The forest keeps papa until he knows where he is supposed to go." She spoke.

I wasn't entirely sure what she meant, but I honestly had no sense of direction.

"Little girl in blue dress? You search for her? She no longer belongs on this realm." She continued.

"How...do you know.."

"Papa scared her. But Papa did not kill the flower that you once held. Papa believes he has killed the flower, but he did not. The torchbugs do not avoid you. Torchbugs hover around you..."

I must admit I wasn't sure. My mind was elsewhere and couldn't focus. I had to know where I was meant to be in order for myself to be free.

Her eyes opened, showing off a silvery glow.

"_Sos los yol ahrk vokun. Sil los kast ahrk naalein. Hil los varn ahrk sonah. Bormah los bormah. Ni Dovahkiin. Nuz kiin do Talos. Kiin nol joor muz. Aak naal gluus ahrk vulom. Kul ahrk bormah los sizaan. Ruz ruund. Nuz lost sizaan. Ahrk praag wah siiv. Siiv vozahlaas zii. Geblaan kurlah._"

("Blood is fire and shadow. Soul is stuck and alone. Heart is warm and kind. Father is father. Not Dragonborn. But born of Talos. Born from mortal men. Guide by luck and darkness. Son and father is lost. Then found. But has lost. And need to find. Find immortal spirit. Complete the journey.")

Find...the immortal spirit...wait...

A light started to blind me as I was being dragged away, I reached out to Ayisha...not wanting to leave before I had the need for answers.

* * *

I woke up with the biggest headache. Once my vision returned, I could see a lass with long red hair like mine, an aged face that struck me as familiar...

"M-mother?" I said weakly.

She smiled and nodded. Was...was I dead?

"Where...where are we?"

She cradled my head in her lap. I could see her crying as she pecked me on the forehead.

"It's good to see you back dear. I should have told you about this a long time ago..."

I shook my head.

"No...it's...it's okay. I know father was a monster. You had to get away from him. I wish could have gone with you."

She pursed her lips.

"Nocturnal didn't want me to..."

My entire body ached, muscles churning and I was so tired. I don't think I was dead just yet. And I still wanted to know what Ayisha meant...

"What's going on?"

She lowered her head...her eyes told me more to the story that her words did.

"What's the matter?"

She wiped a tear from her cheek.

"Bryn...it's..."

She looked to her right. I sat up and composed myself and turned to where she was looking. There was a crowd of people surrounding something, their gear...members of the Guild...and a Dragon? What in Shor's name? All I could remember was...I don't know...I don't remember anything! But I heard whsipers among them and...I could hear Ayisha...

"Mama! Mama wake up!"

My heart fell.

Petra...

No...it can't...

I got up, despite being in agony and ran towards it, running towards the crowds and pushing them aside, desperate to get through. I came across Petra, lying on the ground before me, lifeless, in Ayisha's arms and being examined by the Dragon. No, no...she can't be dead. This...this wasn't happening. That damn pit in my stomach was churning again. I looked at the others, tears on their faces as well. Vex made subtle sobs into Delvin's shoulder and held her for a bit, very much out of character for her, she must..Petra must have had made quite the impact for her to even weep, and Vex is a very strong woman...same with Sapphire and Vipir. The others, didn't know what to do with themselves. It goes to show how Petra affected the Guild and how she never...got to see that. They all normally keep to themselves, but conversations in the cistern often spoke of Petra's successes and how she made them all rich. But...those eyes. I know those eyes. They weren't thinking they had lost one of the best in the business. Some were riddled with guilt and honest sadness...the only honesty that any of them ever had.

"Mama!" Ayisha cried out again, her voice cracked and loud. She must have been weeping for a while.

No...this...this...the memories started coming back. No...father...the dream...

This was my fault. Why...no..Petra...I'm so so sorry. I never meant...I never meant to hurt you. Gods damnit Brynjolf you're such a fool!

I went on my knees and sat beside her. I could see a blade nearby and flashing back to an old memory several years ago...

I recall my father, giving me a dwemer sword, like the one's you find in the ruins. Only that, it had a special enchantment the dwemer had made for it, however, it could only be activated at certain times. But father told me that I would never be able to activate in any case, since it will only turn on special circumstances...but he insisted that it would..'send souls away' regardless.

Now I know what he meant. You wretched bastard!

The blade was enchanted with a soul trap option, meaning...

It wasn't me was it?

(_No...it was your father..._)

What? I'm looking around but I can't see who's talking to me.

(_It's me...Zoklotinhaar, you know, your infamous ancestor. I've secluded myself in the back of your mind to allow you take lead. Prolg had taken Rahkes off me, after he'd stolen the Ring of Khajiti from the little kaaz and the Dovahkiin shoved us out of the way to save us. Prolg wanted my soul...but settled for the Dovahkiins by accident._)

No...this is my fault...

(_No...it's mine. The Dovahkiin had convinced me that Alduin was a false God. I didn't trust her, but she willingly saved our lives...though I'm certain she was only trying to save yours._)

Should have figured she'd find a way.

(_However, Prolg used trickery with the intent of stealing my soul, though he would have also stolen yours. If you want her back, you're going to have to find a way to get her from the Soul Cairn._)

The Soul Cairn?

(_Speak with the others, they'll know.)_

I looked at Petra's peaceful form and felt her cold cheek. I still believed this was all my fault, despite what Zoklotinhaar said.

"I'm sorry Bryn..." Tonilia commented, resting her hand on my shoulder.

I sighed, defeated and deflated.

"I'll be fine..."

I lied.

That face...so beautiful. We worked out an agreement that though she might succeed in her future endeavours, that she wasn't going to die even when she was finished. But then...Ayisha's words... Complete the journey. There has to be a way to save her. I wasn't going to let have unfinished business. Not now of all times. I felt the whirlpool of emotions flaring within. Anger, sorrow, despair. But within my heart...and with what the Priest told me, if I can get her, from the Soul Cairn, then you include hope.

"She wasn't supposed to die like this." I said outright, albeit with as calm and tranquil tone as I could manage.

"No...the Dovahkiin has always been the one in the main prophesy to take down Alduin. Specifically, the last Dovahkiin in existence..." Paarthurnax explained.

I looked at Ayisha, again in prayer...lass was so intent on using religious resources on immediate impact and did so through grief and hardened spirt.

"_Un hun, un hun Siir kendovro hil..."_

I know that tune. I've heard it on the lips of bards, but not in the dragon language.

"_Zu'u fun hi, Zu'u fun hi Faal Dovahkiin meyz_"

But to hear her sing it...just makes everything else...seem too surreal.

"_Voth kod suleyk do kruziik bron baas"_

Why would you create a prophecy? Just to let it never end of fulfilling itself?

"_Korah, korah faal Dovahkiin meyz"_

She was born to prove the dragons wrong and her death just sends a message that will allow them to rule? Just...I can see in my heart how that's just odd.

"_Niidro oblaan wah vokul do pah Keizaalro paal"_

To inspire songs and legends, only to have it all fall apart because of a dirty trick. It just doesn't seem fair.

"_Kosiir, kosiir faal Dovahkiin meyz_"

It's an unjust cruelty, cast down to all of us...but cruel to Petra most of all.

"_Fah vulom lost rahn Ahrk zoor gah naram"_

The worst part is that she didn't want to be involved. She longed to live the normal life, but she had that taken away from her.

"_Hi mindok, hi mindok faal Dovahkiinro meyz"_

And I never got to...tell her...that...

"What will you do?" Mother asked me.

I looked down at Petra again. There's only so much you can do. But...if you're right Priest, then we can still find a way to fix this...

"The Rahkes...absorbs like the Dragonborn does. Her soul has been cast into the Soul Cairn...she is not meant to be dead now. And Talos knows I will not let it end like this..." I explained.

She squatted beside me and patted my head.

"It's hard to see there my son, a strong spirit taken down by deception. Even the Gods themselves never would have foreseen it." She told me.

That much was true. But...I was in such a state of disbelief that any course of action to get her back would be welcome. But...we're all thieves. We hardly know anything about magic. All we know is that necromancy is frowned upon. Stealing was our mission. Coin was our goal. We kept ourselves alive and afloat. This was just... Karliah sat next to Ayisha and joined her in prayer. Suddenly, one by one, the others, who have probably have robbed more temples that they've ever done any worship in, awkwardly sat down around us. These people, who have seen more of their fare share of the Gods work in action in one day, were more inclined to believe that I was at the moment, who was just...having a very hard time doing so.

Although, since the revelation of Nocturnal's shrine in the Cistern, the others having taken her gifts as their own and called upon the magics that helps them in their day to day lives. More coin that flows around the Guild. All because of Petra, Karliah and I who sold our souls just so we could keep on living the way we do. And the others relish in it. We're not a religious lot, but once you considered Delvin's curse theory eventually proven to be true, you stop joking about it. Skill is obviously still a factor here, but you here the stories of glorious robberies which the profound luck in which helps ply our trade. I was hesitant, but, without the usual dedication, and none of us were priests, it felt like life went on as normal but the vibe of the Guild, was just happier than before. And for a sorry lot like us, that's definitely saying something.

Paarthurnax had his head down as well, for such the respect of a soul stolen from us, that for a dragon, seemed to have the utmost respect for Petra as well. She had that effect on people nowadays. Though while the respect would be nice, being chided for not doing her real duties wasn't the problem, but witnessing her struggle to bring herself into the role was quite the task and she did it willingly. She told me her father once said "You gotta do the things you hate." or something along those lines. And in this stage, although she would rather be a thief or even have her head stuck in the snow, she had to do this to make sure this world survives just a bit longer for us all, and I saw the painful breaths she took as she did so, but she always remained focused.

To be taken from us...to be taken as nothing had been completed...just..so wrong. The Gods would never have let this happen. Was this our fault? No...it was my fathers. His lust for power has gone on long enough. And he had to die. Simple as that.

"Papa...mama's...ring..."

I looked at the ring on her finger, the one she said, was given to her by some guy in Whiterun. It was pulsating with an odd light. I felt...so wrong as I took it off her finger ever so gently, like a thief robbing a dead body. Even then it continued to do so as I held it in my hands. I turned to Ayisha, who tilted her head like a curious cat.

I felt...compelled to wear it...I put it on my finger, to see what it did...

* * *

Again...my world disappeared until there was nothing but darkness around me...until the torchbugs reappeared. I wasn't asleep again was I?

"The world still turns yet it will burn unless she's brought back." I heard a voice.

I stood up from where I was...seeing a Statue of Talos and a woman walking from the shadows. Her robes...the colour of red changed to violet and she possessed long white hair, the colour of clouds...with matching gloves and boots to match. Her aura...foreign and unknown. I was quite suspicious of it. But...given my grieving heart...my mind was elsewhere.

"You who wears my ring. I sensed the desperation in your heart, calling for answers."

I squinted at her.

"Who are you?"

She smiled at me, her eyes glowing. Everything about her seemed wrong. She rose her arms and hand and stretched.

"I...am the Realm-Walker. Petra never got to speak to you properly about me. That was when you were having an episode with the Life-Ruiner over there..."

I turned to my left, seeing a man, similar looking to me but with scars on his face, thinner and more gaunt than mine and his eyes glowing like those of the Draugr.

"I was being summoned." The man said, his voice echoing alongside a thousand more. But I knew that voice.

"Zoklotinhaar?" I muttered.

"You know what he has to do. He has to go to the Soul Cairn to bring her back. "

The Realm-Walker waggled her finger and smirked.

"Just a second there...you see...the Soul Cairn isn't just some tavern you can walk in, grab a drink and head out of. It demands a price. It's filled with monstrosities known as the Ideal Masters who are forever hungry for souls."

I nodded. Sounded terrible. Hopefully if Petra was there, she'd be okay.

"So what we give it a soul!" Zoklotinhaar boasted. I imagined him more of a boisterous and more obnoxious version of me.

The Realm-Walker shook her head, then turned to me.

"Brynjolf, I imagine a man of your state to be riddled in despair, losing the woman he loves in such a stupid way to die. But you remain vigilant. I applaud you. Your spirit is stronger than you may think. However, getting Petra's soul back isn't going to be easy. And in normal circumstances, perhaps the Gods meant for this to happen."

I blinked.

"What?"

She frowned and started to pace around.

"A person of my positions sees hundreds and thousands of paths in the lives we take. Similar situations, similar results. There are those results that either succeed or fail. Both can happen. But not at the same time. Because these are reflected in decision making. Where one decision can lead you down through one path, another can give you a completely different ending. Life...death. If you consider the worlds infinite in life and death, this world, this...realm demands failure because failure can exist. This is a world, that is blinded by failure and is cursed by it. However no one knows that. There are...many situations that have pretty much the same ending but with different people involved. You can say these are permanently ingrained in the worlds they're in. I have...seen and gone to many places that are sectioned in one simple category."

My mind was exploding...failure? Cursed?

"Do you mean, with Nocturnal? With Mercer?" I questioned.

She shook her head.

"No. This is just in general. It's how...the cosmos works. In short, in normal circumstances, Petra cannot be taken out of the Soul Cairn, she is a soul, stuck there by the laws of the realm. That's just fact and that can't be changed."

No...that can't be true. No...no no no no...

"There have been many worlds like this one, that have had the same conflicts as you do. Because that world is destined to die...it is how it is. When you see how many worlds there are it's impossible to interfere and save everyone. For example, Petra's gone. Alduin is free to fulfil his duty as the World-Eater and will destroy the world. Because this is a world where the situation is as such, what if the Dragonborn dies before Alduin does?"

That can't happen...the Gods won't allow it.

"But with...so many worlds...so many...universes based on the concepts of choice it's almost impossible to predict what actually might happen. This has definitely happened, in thousands, if not millions of scenarios. Existence is infinite. Parts of us will live on in one way or another, even if we've already died, so you can take comfort in that I suppose."

There has to be a way...

"A lot of the details I want to explain will go over your heads or drive you both insane. Depending on which way you take it. But, long story short, Petra is unable to leave. Alduin will destroy this world. Not as foretold by prophecy, but as foretold by the laws of possibilities. Those cannot be changed."

I fell to my knees, feeling the despair running all over me. No...I can't...I can't stop shaking.

"What makes you so superior to know all that witch? What makes you think it can't be changed simply because some law says so?" Zoklotinhaar questioned.

The Realm-Walker shrugged. I wanted to hate her for this, I wanted her to lie and just...Gods...I can't...

"You have accepted the fact that Nocturnal won't accept you due to your love. It is an unwritten fate for you Priest. Like Brynjolf here, you're both pretty much doomed for it. Doom-driven, as Petra was. This happens to major figures like yourselves. Though Bryn...you're...quite interesting in this scenario. Probably in one of the best I've ever seen."

How can she be so...cold? I...I can't have Petra back...no...and she was treating us like we were entertainment. I became furious.

"Then...what do we do?" Zoklotinhaar asked.

The bitch looked at me and smirked. I was going to lose it.

"Brynjolf, you have the most pleading eyes I've ever seen. I knew coming here was going to be so worth it. Zoklotinhaar...hmm...don't know about you though. Never really enjoyed you tormenting your own people like that."

The priest looked down.

"I'm not proud of that either. Alduin demanded traitors pay the price."

A Priest not letting pride go to his head? That's a first.

The Realm-Walker nodded.

"Hmm...well, gentlemen, you're very lucky and very fortunate to have me here. I stumbled into this realm upon exiting another. Maybe it was for a reason even I never knew. But here I am, here to help."

I looked up at her, emotionally stunted.

"Your love is well supported by many as I have seen. Some comment but others I see are afar and want you to find happiness. I am but a friend. A friend whom I but those you can speak to. I may not reply but I do not judge based your actions. Only observe. However...I've been meaning to experiment with fate, to see whether failure can be reversed."

Still didn't understand, but...if it meant...what I thought it meant...

"My real power isn't just to...well, realm-walk, but a woman in my role is that I can pretty much make rules. Isn't that cool? I told myself not to interfere, but, I like this world. No...I like the people in it. I have been in many worlds where the stories themselves are, let's just say, terrible. Endings sometimes good, bad, what ever. The people are terrible. There are the good ones of course, but others...you'll have to agree with me to say they deserved to end. Don't let that get you of course...it's none of your concern. Seriously, it's not. Forget I mentioned it."

Zoklotinhaars squinted. I sensed he was just as perplexed as I was.

"You have the power to change fate? Are you...a God?"

I was beginning to wonder that too. She patted her lip with her index finger. Maybe this was a form she took when she spoke with mortals. She seemed out of..time and space in origin as well.

"Uhhh no...no. Nice thought though...I'll take it as a compliment. Sometimes however, I have no idea what I am. But I don't care. Some call me the Deus Ex Machina...silly name...in a silly language. My Crusaders are my supporters who have taken to calling me Master, but...even so...I'm just a wanderer of time and space. Stories with me in them, make me seem...overpowered. Probably true in any case. But I don't care. I mean, you have to make the stories interesting enough to even warrant me being involved. If I'd have known you guys would have actually done this, I would have never come forward. But...this requires a little bit of 'divine' intervention...if you can call in that."

Just take it as it comes Bryn, don't sweat it over the small stuff.

"But...enough about that..." She said, clapping her hands together and rubbing them.

"So...you want to get Petra back from the Soul Cairn...right. Let's see...ah! An inspired thought has just come to me...hang on.."

I watched as she pulled a face and pulled something out of her sleeve.

"Okay...here we go...ah...I remember this little thing..."

She walked up to me and placed the object in my hands. It was some kind of...golden crystal. I rose an eyebrow at her.

"That...that little creation is something you'd find in maybe what...ten, twenty realms tops? Good luck trying to find those. Anyway, this is actually a Golden Soul Gem. Never see those normally now do you?"

Zoklotinhaar and I exchanged confused glances. What in Oblivion was going on?

"Normally, you could actually do this with a normal soul gem, but in Petra's case, it's actually more difficult than that. Now, you know the way Soul Gems work...soul trap someone, a creature...or if you're feeling a bit evil, you get a black soul gem man or mer and obtain incredible power for your enchantments. People tend to forget the soul ends up in the Soul Cairn and is there...forever. Petra's case, however...is different because she has an immortal soul in mortals body. She requires a much more delicate and complicated procedure.

You can't soul trap a dragon...you're a dragonborn...you absorb the soul yourself and the dragon loses everything in the process. Vampires have...well, technically don't have souls. Daedra returns to their plane of Oblivion...and Gods...yeah good luck with that. So giving up your mortality always requires a soul price, that no longer makes you, well, you. A sacrifice made to sever your allegiance with Arkay some might say. That's just how things work. Well, except the Nerevarine. He went through the hard yards to get there. And he didn't actually want it...or so some of the stories told me.

Ah well. But yeah. In most situations there is definitely a soul price. For a Dragonborn's spirit. Where does it return to exactly when the flesh is no more? It's wonder for the ages. Talos became a God...some go to Sovngarde. But...having an immortal soul, instead of an immortal body like most people desire to attain, is a very rare factor considering what Dragonborn are meant for. That's where Golden Soul Gems come in. They can contain the power of an immortal spirit. That's extremely rare...so rare...that it's considered heinous to most...even the Gods themselves. Better yet, they break the laws that confine souls to any plane of Oblivion or the Aedric realms. It's more...of a container..."

My heart skipped a beat. I finally understood. I looked down at the crystal in my hand. I could...contain Petra's spirit in here and set her free...

"Are you sure that will bode well within the laws?" Zoklotinhaar wondered. His questions were logical enough I suppose.

She smirked and crossed her arms.

"All you have to do, is go into the Soul Cairn, use your blade as you would on her then waiting for her spirit to be absorbed. Return to your realm and take it to her. Break the crystal and it should go back into her body...which I would start preserving...don't want the body to...well, you know...best bet, is preserve in Stahlrim...don't worry, I'll take care of that too. I should start charging for all the workload I do lately..."

This was almost...too good to be true.

"What's the catch?" I wondered.

She chuckled.

"Catch? Hm...the Soul Cairn is challenging enough as it is. Don't expect it to be easy. Death changes people. While I can deal with the hands of fate, I cannot guarantee that Petra will be the same. But she's a strong girl. She'll be okay. But I sense a trial ahead of you. Both of you will need to discuss it once you've come across an issue. I'll send a relay to inform you."

I nodded.

"Okay then lass, we get the picture. Let's get started. Only one thing...how do we get there?"

The Realm-Walker looked at Zoklotinhaar and put a hand to her hip.

"There should be a portal nearby. I sense...hmm...ahh...fascinating. I was going to suggest Castle Volkihar to the north western seas...but I have detected an anomaly...your...little abode Priest. Someones made a pathway. Never been a proper pathway since the Oblivion Crisis. But...someone could have opened it somehow out of pure desperation. So let's also say, the catch is...getting there in time. Someone could be after her."

Zoklotinhaar blinked.

"My chambers? I do not recall placing a portal there, only my failed copy of the Conduit to Ebonmere."

I looked at him.

"Well, someones obviously finished the job there lad. Fixed it up...only to go to the Soul Cairn. You and I will have to work together on this. Are you up to it?"

He grumbled. I didn't like this any more than he did...but we had to do it. For Petra's sake.

"Hmph...fine. I suppose I could be of some use." He answered.

I nodded.

"Good...then let's tell the others."

I had once given up all hope, but now...we're certain. And if the Realm-Walker is right, then we should be able to resurrect her with minor issues. But the Soul Cairn. Zoklotinhaar knew that place was treacherous.

("I've read about it. Not exactly homely from it's descriptions.")

Aye, I hear that. Having a way to solve this...makes me...happy.

("Don't get sappy on me...")

Heh...don't worry. Happiness is infectious though, you should try it sometime.

("Bah...I'm stuck in you. How in Mundus does that make me happy?")

Thankfully, we all have to do what we hate. Note that as me being sarcastic.


	60. Soul Cairn

**AN: And here is the realm that depressed me greatly when I first entered it. The music did not help either...read on!**

**Chapter 60**

**Soul Cairn.**

Telling the others this plan was no easy feat, believe me.

I wasn't going to judge them on their skepticism when I told them about how we were going to save her. Bringing up the Golden Soul Gem brought up a lot of questions.

(Just roll with it)

Yeah I know. All they would have to care about it was that it's what we need to get her soul back in her body. But most of what I worried for was that the Realm-Walker's words, stating that she wasn't going to come back the exact way she was.

(As to be expected. Petra had told me that previously...that a total resurrection, meaning everything that was will not necessarily stay within the resurrected. That much, I do know now)

For the most part, the others members of the Guild remained confused. I wouldn't expect them to understand those sorts of logics and magics they've never had to face in their lives. They're expected to not have to encounter and delve into combat if it was possible.

(Either way, it's best to be prepared)

Heh...no it's okay. They're prepared to fight. I've seen them train in the cistern. I don't know what the Soul Cairn is like.

(I was there for a bit before being taken out against my will. It's not somewhere you would want to be, that I know for certain.)

Right, so anything we should be aware of?

(Monsters of course. Might have changed, don't know. I only recommend caution.)

Aye, I'll keep that in mind...anyway, I had relayed this back to the others and took in their input on the topic. Mother said she was going to aid as much as she could, as she had previously looked up Soul Cairn knowledge in the Archives. Karliah and the lil' lass Ayisha pledged their support. I wouldn't want Ayisha in there though and wanted her to stay with the others. Though with her connections to the spirit world, it would be plausible for her to stay close and heed her advice should we need it. It's helped us many times before...somehow.

(You might want to use the spares to either join you inside, or at least defend the Conduit in case Prolg decides to come back.)

Noted. We headed towards the main chambers, that still stood there, surprisingly.

(I would be wary to assassins from the rebels back in the day. Had to keep defenses up)

Right. We went inside, seeing the Conduit itself as we entered, giving off a violet glow, swirling like a vortex with floating stone steps. The rest of the room felt, homely, oddly enough, after being abandoned for a quite a few eras. Plently of white pillars and the floor marble like the temple, several shelves, tables and chairs. Most like Prolg making his home here the bastards...but the conduit gave off negative vibes...not to mention it was giving me chills.

(It's amazing how it's working now, though not in the way I intended it to be)

I stood before it, beholding it's energies. It definitely felt like walking into another world, that much I know. But I had to make sure we all knew what we were doing and what we were getting ourselves into. Vex and Delvin had taken Petra's body inside with care. I couldn't help but watch them as they brought her in.

(Take her to the stone bed. Leave her there. Didn't the Realm-Walker say she was sending someone to get Stahlrim?)

I had almost forgotten that. I pointed towards the slab at the end of the room, with Tonilia helping them out. I wandered over and sat beside her. Karliah had come up to me in the meantime, with Vex, Delvin and Tonilia walking away for the moment.

"Are you certain about this Brynjolf? This idea...it's quite unrealistic." Karliah commented. If this been a few months ago, I would have said the same thing.

"We don't have any other choice." I told her. "The Guild's never done anything like this before. If it's one thing we know, is that we help our own. Mercer failed to have that stuck in his head before we killed him and now with you in charge, we can consider the best of us deserving this."

Karliah frowned as she looked at Petra. She felt sorry for the poor lass, having been put through a lot herself...seeing the hurt from within.

"It's not that..I know...I still want Gallus back. He's gone. Gone with the shadows. So he's still here with us, just not physically. As much as I need him here I've long accepted that I can't have that. Sometimes the dead need to stay that way."

I rubbed my face, frustrated by her words and lack of faith, but. I wanted to believe that the Realm-Walker wouldn't send us of on false pretenses and it all ends up being for nothing. The dead need to stay dead, but then again...Petra is different from everyone else. She's not what you expect her to be as a person.

"Petra died for a purpose. Same with Gallus. But Petra...she's been wrongfully sent to the Soul Cairn without fulfilling her bargain with Nocturnal. Or fulfilling her real potential as Dragonborn. We've been given a chance to set it right again. Even if we don't succeed in reviving her, we at least have to give her a chance to be allowed to go where she needs to...either in Sovngarde or with Nocturnal. She has every right to choose."

Karliah crossed her arms, a bit pensive.

"I'm not a Nord like you two. I don't understand the meanings of her being Dragonborn and how the fares with the others. I'm not saying it's not going to work, I'm just telling you I'm not so certain it will, simply because I have no knowledge of what you're about to face. I'll heed your word because I care about Petra. We all do."

Good to have her on board. Faith, is what I need right now. Ironic isn't it...never did have much of it. I had an eye for talent and skill, but faith alone is see through and unreliable. But for now, I'll take it.

An unusual noise sounded behind us following two large violet orbs quickly growing into view, then disappearing, leaving behind two people clad in white robes. I could have sworn seeing red rims on there fade to purple...not unlike the Realm-Walker. This must have been the people she spoke of before.

They had a black coffin with them...hmmm...

(The Stalhrim?)

Aye, figured that to be the case. I wandered to the pair, whom, I could swear must have been bickering, though with their hoods on, it was hard to discern.

"Bloody hell, she sends us here with this load of of ice? Magical ice? You know I had to pick that meself. What a nightmare!" Complained the tall one. He dropped back his hood. He was an Altmer with blonde hair.

The other, flicked back. Redguard maybe? Pale for a redguard though. Possibly a Imperial-Redguard offspring, but her eyes reminded me of Petra, light blue and beautiful and black hair tied up in a pony tail. She only rolled her eyes at her Altmer companion.

"You've been sent from the Realm-Walker I assume?" I asked.

The woman looked at me, troubled but she seemed to analyze me.

(Maybe she's seen you before?)

No...never seen her. But the High Elf seemed to butt in at every given moment. He grabbed my hand and shook it.

"Uh yes! Yes we are! We have your Stalhrim, perfect for preserving dead bodies, fresh from Solstheim. So...where is she?"

I was more stunned at the elf's...enthusiastic demeanor. But...he as willing to help I guess. I pointed behind me as he rubbed his hands.

"Alright then...love, give me a hand..."

He picked up the coffin alongside his associate, taking the coffin to the bed and placing her inside with utmost care. I have a feeling those two could be Priests of Arkay, but I'm not sure. But...that being said, the Realm-Walker is already an odd sort. These two just...seemed to fit in with the strange vibes I was getting.

The coffin was then laid on the bed and they made cautious adjustments, all the while the elf just beamed, and the lass herself just seemed over it. Though she still didn't say a word.

(This era is strange. Is this normal?)

Honestly, I don't know anymore. I've had enough strangeness to numb me for a while.

The Elf turned to me after he was finished settling Petra in. His smile was just more creepy that comforting. The lad definitely felt out of this world. No wonder why the Realm-Walker recruited him.

"Let's see...ah...yeah so you guys heading to the Soul Cairn eh...you worked out how you're gonna bypass the barrier?"

I browed.

"What barrier?"

The Elf and the lass looked at one another with worry. I had a feeling there'd be some sort of catch. Priest?

(I was sent there. I suppose there must be a protective force for people wanting to go in there, willingly.)

The High Elf face-palmed.

"Oh dear...they...they haven't figured it out have they? Mate, you want to visit that place, you're gonna need to do two things...one, you can be partially soul trapped. If any of you know don't that spell, I'll be happy to teach you...or I could do it myself...been taught by the best...to be the best... Or...you can be a vampire. Which...none of you are...hmm...looks like the s-"

The lass elbowed him in the gut.

"What was that for? Oh...yeah. The third option. You see, our 'benevolent' masters ring can protect you from the...dreaded effects of the Soul Cairn. According to her, the Ideal Masters hunger for souls. Sounds so cliché and written in dozens of books...ugh she thinks she is so high and mighty...but she's a good person. Don't forget that."

Great.

"So...I'm the only one allowed in? Unless they become soul trapped or become a vampire?" I reiterated.

The Elf shrugged and nodded.

"Yeah...unfortunately I wish there are better options. But our beloved leader has gifted you enough...no matter, no matter. The Soul trapping part is a bit difficult though. By splitting your soul, into say, I dunno..taking one fifth? One sixth? Can't remember how what's her face did it. Anyway, you offer that to them. _Buuut_ it just makes you a tad weaker as all. But I think...the cat? Was it that what she said love? That she said the cat would be able to go in fine. Or was it because of her ring?"

(This Elf confuses me.)

The lass shook her head and mouthed something to him. Who realized...

"Oh but of course! The ring can! But, because she's the Mane, a unique spirit herself, she's actually immune to the effects too! What a coincidence. I wonder if all the worlds do that...but yeah, the cat can definitely go."

Ayisha...she ran up to me and hugged my leg. Bless the young lass. You could say she was over the moon.

But Karliah looked a bit depressed by the matter. I think as Guildmaster she needed to stay, but she was a Nightingale like me and Petra, it would only be fair. But...even so.

"I'll go..."

I turned.

Mother?

"I'll be partially soul trapped willingly. If my husband is in there, I need to see to him quickly and end this quickly."

I'd never seen her so...like this. All I remember was her babbling on about nonsense and being rather cryptic about it.

(Your mother?)

Aye mother. Often predicted the war. But...if she wants to do this willingly, within the Soul Cairn it allow us to talk.

"Ah okay...then...right. So...according to memory...and what I was told as well, is that I'll need to trap a portion of your soul into a soul gem. Once you get in there that gem will automatically be taken by an Ideal Master closest the portal. They're not hard to find...they're like, big, gigantic Soul Gem's themselves. Eldritch and mysterious. But that's the fun part isn't it?"

(Make him shut up.)

"Well let's quit talking about it and let's move...we don't have a lot of time."

* * *

We organized our groups to prepare our trip within. The Elf cast the spell on my mother, who had a fierce determination to see this through. Ayisha's immunity to the barrier was quite interesting. I hadn't heard of the Mane stuff about the Khajiit, but their mythological prospects aren't that far from ours in terms of who they worship and so forth. Karliah would lead the band to protect the portal to the realm as the others. Vex, Delvin and Tonilia would make sure Petra's body is well-guarded. If the Elf was right and if the Realm-Walker proclaimed it, then it should be fine. Hopefully. I often have doubt on these things.

(Stahlrim is a unique magical ice that can also be fashioned into armour. Some Priests were contemplating getting that themselves)

Now that doesn't surprise me. Anyway, with Ayisha and mother by my side, I hoped that we were all ready to partake the journey, into the unknown.

We approached the top of the steps, staring into the abyss itself. I was more worried that none of us would get out alive. But, this was the only way we could do it. And I was adamant, to prove fate wrong.

(Blinded by Failure...can we twist it? If the Realm-Walker said it was so, that all worlds have different fates? Was this...destined to fall so another may pass? I feel like we're violating something here.)

The Realm-Walker will take care of it, I'm sure. But I'm not going to let anything bypass me lad. Petra will be saved.

(Let's hope your words mean more than just sounds coming out of your mouth.)

Same here.

"Good luck. And...walk with the shadows." Karliah muttered before he headed inside...

* * *

I awaited something dramatic to happen. Except nothing really didn't. The air smelt different, the temperature was colder, a lot more colder than the frozen parts of Skyrim. The energies felt dark, depressing and void.

(I remember this place briefly. Your soul is hollow with misery and despair. You are nothing, stuck in this realm for eternity. The black stone buildings...the sky...constructed of nothing, though the souls claim it's just the impossible reach of escape, why there's a hole in the sky...that they mention. But they hold nothing. And are nothing but mind and spirit...torn in the darkness, left to rot and go mad. But where I was sealed, where I was taken. I wasn't sure whether I was properly placed within Nocturnal's grasp or worse. Like you, I am not even sure how these realms even work. I long for the shadowed touch of Nocturnal, but I know that is never going to happen.)

Sounds awful...the fire's that were lit, of violet flame and black stones swirling on towers. The land barren and filled with dead trees. A low mist covered some parts in patches...and the whole realm just had this purple hue to it. This place...Petra, where are you?

"The Archives have information on the Soul Cairn dating far back into Zoklotinhaars era. Documents read that a dragon once sought the power of necromancy, to raise an army of dead to do his bidding. But, it didn't quite go to plan and was tricked by the Ideal Masters...that was written by a Nightingale who had witnessed the whole deal...the dragons name was lost, but the Nightingale back then had written down that he once proclaimed to a whole town of rebels that he was going to come back with a vengeance. Claimed that he himself controlled death." My mother explained.

Ayisha held my hand, obviously scared. She wanted to come though. I think her, well, Petra's previous desire for determination was rubbing off on her. But no lass at her age deserved to see death like this.

We walked down a path that lead us around. More broken down buildings of ebony...some half deep down into the earth. Ayisha tugged my arm, pointing towards a peculiar fungi on the side of the path.

"Soul Husks...the only thing that grows here apparently." Mother mentioned.

(They're edible at least. Protects your soul a bit.)

"Ironic...how life somehow thrives here. But irony just makes it worse." I commented.

We walked past the cracks, that steam shot through. Though I heard whispers...that wasn't steam...

(They're souls creeping through the Cairn, disembodied, They no longer know who they are...)

Speaking of which, I know it was going to be a while until we came across anything to be noted, and now was a good time to start asking questions...

"Mother..." I muttered.

She combed her fingers through her dark red hair.

"I know what you're going to ask me son. Where have I been? All these years...trying to protect myself that's what. And protecting you..."

I shook my head.

"Father said you died..."

She pouted.

"No...it's a bit complicated to state. As Loremaster, you're inclined and dedicated to keep all the secrets you can. But you are a Nightingale. So I can now afford to tell you. Which is what I've been dying to tell you all these years."

(Nightingale obligations or not...I don't know whether or not to trust her)

I frowned.

"So left me in the hands of that...insane excuse for a father. You have any idea what he put me through?"

She lowered her head...I sensed shame.

"I am sorry Brynjolf. I had left him as soon as I discovered his treachery in a small semblance of my sanity that I could muster. I may have appeared to have lost my mind, but our blood line makes us privy to tell-tale dreams. You of all people should know that."

Aye...her fortune telling in the most bizarre way possible.

"I have had time to recover since then. I was Loremaster, when Gallus decided to induct Mercer Frey into our order, alongside Karliah, your Guildmaster."

One of the biggest mistakes...

"I know you were very young when Mercer took the Skeleton Key from the Twilight Sepulcher. And I was locked out of the Archives and left to go mad without my connection to the Ebonmere and by extension the Evergloam and Nocturnal herself."

I browed.

"So you, when I was just a boy...you changed...father said your trips were just business...saying you were in Riften."

She nodded.

"Yes...Riften. I had my connections with Gallus and Delvin. When the key was stolen that day, I felt the instant sever of my ties to Nocturnal. I was still in the Sepulcher at the time. Desperate to be left in. You remember that time Brynjolf? I called out to your father...and he..he...Mercer..."

I felt anger in my heart as mothers eyes welled up. No, not you...Mercer...even after you're death I want to kill you again to what ever hell hole you ended up in.

"Mother, he's dead now. You needn't worry about him any longer." I assured her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders.

"It's...fine son. But...I wasn't strong enough to raise you. I had hidden myself away down in the Ratway for many years, under a pseudonym, my madness condoning me as Hefid the Deaf. Memory serves that I was really mad. It...wasn't a pleasant experience. Karliah found me there once I had regained my true self. She was looking for contacts when she found me. I know that lad Vekel used to come down to the Warrens to give us food. Perhaps when the key itself was returned I slowly got my sanity. He'd come down here and I remembered who I was and took me to Karliah. I couldn't believe what had happened to me, I lost so many years Brynjolf and I'd lost everything. She introduced me to that face sculptor you have down there and had her remake my face to make me feel better and got me up to speed with current events after I told her who I was. I found myself again under the old image, after being warn down by madness for so long. Then I met your friend Petra. A young girl, gorgeous and petite...not to mention, I figured out the love she had for you...and aided her as best as I could."

All this time...alive...down in the warrens. She had been so close and I never realized it. Brynjolf, you fool.

(There's no way you could have known. Loremasters have a spiritual link to the Archives, like she said, that drove her to what she had become. Once it breaks...there's not much you can do but watch yourself fall...)

"I'm...sorry mother. If I had known...if I had seen."

We stopped as she hugged me tight. I gripped onto her all the same. It'd...been forever since we could do this and all this time within me that I told myself I'd never get this chance again. Maybe what I saw in mother is what I saw in Petra. Two souls trying to seek themselves once more. But this felt nice...Ayisha joined in too.

"Don't blame yourself Brynolf. Never do that. The matter is fixed and here we are, in each others presence once more. And I am no longer bound by the secrecy...although Ayisha here...don't know whether she'll understand all of this..."

The Khajiit looked up at us and smiled. She knew more than she was letting on. But I don't think that'll matter too much. Most Khajiit have links to us anyway...plus she had the Ring of Khajiiti, considered a link to Nocturnal in certain respects. I think.

I shrugged.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it. We'll need to stay focused for now...but thanks. I'm really glad to have you back ."

I think in hindsight, I would have never expected to see her again and while it never made sense to me why she returned, it made more sense to me when she worded it out. And I can't stop myself feeling so stupid thinking about how she was down in the Ratway. Even then, I would have never figured her to be a thief. Heh...guess it really does run in blood.

(I will not break tinvaak with the thu'um with you there. Larceny must be really potent in our sos.)

* * *

We must have walked for what felt like hours. Scenery hardly changed. Damaged buildings...dead trees. Soul Husks. We came across the run down remains of what may have been a temple, seeing a pair of souls parched upon its steps. It wouldn't hurt to ask them a few questions.

Souls are harder to define by colour but more by their shape and distinctive frame work. These two...a man and a woman, sat there, staring out in the darkness of the realm, pensive. Though I wouldn't want to disturb them, I'd really not walk around without a real sense of direction.

"Excuse me, sorry. But, have you seen a woman, small, possibly wearing a type of..well, interesting armor?" I questioned. This wasn't something I did often, talking with ghosts.

The man stood up, his expression indifferent.

"The three of you should get out of here while you'll still can." He responded, his voice echoing.

I browed. This was awkward. I cleared my throat.

"Are we in any immediate danger?"

He looked down.

"You don't want to be here stranger. My wife and I were cast down here. With no reason. We had come to Skyrim on the invitation to an old friend...and the next thing we know, we're here. Don't know...I can't...I can't stand it."

The woman herself, was silent and looked out of sorts. She had lost all hope by the looks of it.

"Do you remember your names?" Mother asked them as she crossed her arms.

"I'm Gerard. This is my wife, Hesta." He answered.

Mother nodded

"Good. Remember that and you'll keep to yourselves." She mentioned. Mother was a type of mystic, she knew these things well enough.

"We'll try. Our only regret, was leaving our daughter behind. She came to Skyrim some months ago. She was writing letters at first but then she stopped. We became worried that she'd been killed. I told her not to go on her own but she insisted."

I noticed something about my mother as she stared at them intently, her eyes darting across from soul to soul. She was in deep thought for the looks of it, seeing something I obviously wasn't.

"Sorry to hear that. But keep the hope that she might still be alive. There are many reasons people stop doing what they're doing and all the answers will point to immediate death. But that might be the case." Mother continued. I understood she was trying to make them feel better, but...here..eternity and time itself seems misguided.

(Unslaad Krosis)

But I needed answers. They would be grieving forever anyway. I feel horrible in doing it, but we had to try.

"So...uh...have you seen anyone besides yourselves here lately?" I questioned.

Gerard sighed.

"There many souls that linger here. But if you're looking for anything specific I've heard rumours of a dragon down here. Which is odd, why would be dragon be here of all places? Aren't they immortal?"

(Is this the Dov that your mother was telling you about?)

"A dragon? Interesting. Do you know where we might find this dragon?"

He rubbed his chin.

"Don't know why you'd wanna find one. But...I guess. The Dragon is not far from here. Just keep head west from here, you should see a huge building, like an arena. The Dragon is said to roam there. Just...be very careful. You don't want to end up like us!"

We thanked Gerard for his help and went towards the western plains. This place still gave me chills, but with mother and Ayisha here...I can remain strong. Strong for both of them. It was quite the walk however, coming across the large black building It had a type of barrier around it, strangely enough. Don't know how we could penetrate it though. Damn it.

* * *

We kept walking around, trying to find this dragon elsewhere...but we came across more buildings and nothingness...

Ayisha then pulled on my leg.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Ayisha senses dragon presence nearby, A different spirit to all the others. The state of rottenness. Sadness...anger...melancholy."

I rubbed my chin. Hmm...we must be getting close.

"Is there anyway to get it's attention?" I asked.

(Use the thu'um. We do not know it's name...however...I might. I do recall the story your mother has mentioned. The Dragon who rose corpses in battle. His name...I will help you with this. I recall...Durnehviir. Shout it into the darkened skies and he shall appear to you.)

Hmm...alright. If you think that'll help. I tapped on mothers shoulder. Don't know if she knows that you're in here Priest, I mean, still.

(I don't really care at his point. Do what you have to do.)

Alright then...I told her that I found out the name of the Dragon, when asked why, I just let her know that Zoklotinhaar told me. She accepted that well enough and was actually quite proud that we were actually speaking with one another.

(We are prisoners in our own minds...well, she was. I still am. Being Loremaster is a position of respect within the Nightingale order. Not completely within the Trinity, but somewhere along those lines)

"If you know the name and can shout it...then so be it..." Mother stated.

I had never personally shouted before. The priest here knows about that more than I do.

(Just take a deep breath, know the name on your lips...Durnehviir...say it...within you of course. And when you're ready...use the thu'um on the skies...)

It took me sometime to get myself prepared for it...for the inevitability of it all. I know now how Petra feels. It may be easier to be Dragonborn to know the shouts, but I guess if you're just calling someones name you don't need much to focus on. But...irregardless..

I stretched and cracked my neck, allow myself to be soothed during the process. I wasn't expecting this to be easy.

(Ready?)

I took a huge intake of air and lifted my head towards the skies of Oblvion...

"**_Dur... Neh Viir!_**" I shouted, a cycle of power circling around me...

I fell over, underneath the enormous amount of...just unrecognised fleeting magics. Mother and Ayish helped me up after my stagger. And my throat was a bit sore, felt like it was burning...

Suddenly, I could see a dragon come flying in our direction. I readied my blade, as did mother and Ayisha stood behind us. We had to be extremely cautious in our approach.

The Dragon flew towards us and flew there in one spot in the air. His...body looked different akin to those of normal dragons. His...skin was green and it was...melting constantly. This was not any dragon like I'd seen before.

(But it is like that of the Jen Dovah...but at the same time, he is not.)

Aye...like that. Does he normally look like this?

(Krosis, I am not sure. Best try to negotiate with him for now. I would wager he'd seen a lot more than anyone else. Obviously)

Here we go...

We looked up at the monster before us as he leered and titled his head.

"You call me as if you know me..." He spoke, his voice deeper than most dragons I've heard speak.

"Your thu'um...hmm...I suppose tinvaak is in order. But I sense those of the living have business with those of the undead. A lot has been occuring here as of late, and I have reason to believe why that is."

I put away my weapons, yielding for him to do the same. He flapped down and perched himself on the top of a nearby wall. You know, my perspective on dragons has changed a lot recently.

(You and me both)

I guess there are smart ones. And he seems to know why we're here.

"Tell me...live ones...why are you here?" He asked us.

"We're here to find a soul that has been cast down here just recently. Being the top flyer of this place, we figured you may know where this soul might be..."

He lifted his head and inspected us.

"Hmm...true. I do see a lot from my wings alone. Times have been patient and dull, before the arrival of a soul that did come in just recently. But I do not know if it is the soul you are looking for."

I crossed my arms.

"Is this soul, nord? Small maybe?"

Durnehviir shook his head.

"No...it wasn't. I have found it bizarre, since these souls do not make it to the Soul Cairn alone. I have had some suspicions, given the echoes that I here from Tamriel every so often. I have conversed with this soul who seems to know itself from what it was. I found it most interesting and have observed it ever since."

(Ask him whether he can bring the soul to us.)

"Do you know if you can either bring the soul to us...or where it's located...?" I asked him.

He nodded.

"Not far...not far...just on the other side of the Boneyard...near the derelict word wall. It sits there, brooding. Come...I will show you..."

* * *

The dragon flew up into the air again, allowing us to follow him, technically we were running but we chased him across the barren plains, passed the entrance to the large building and nearby the word wall he spoke of. We approached as Durnehviir perched himself again on the word wall. We couldn't see anything as the wall was curved, but the dragon ushered us closer. We walked around as he spoke to whom ever was there, as the area was darker than most of the other places here and covered with the shroud of mist.

"Young Dov, there are some people here who wish to speak with you." He spoke.

As we came around, we could see another spirit, blue like all the others...but in the shape of a dragon. It seemed to cower itself, it's wings covering it's head and it's back to us. A dragon...ghost?

What? I've...I've never seen anything like it.

"What? Tell them to go away...I don't want any more souls berating me today..." The dragon worded...but the voice, familiar...feminine with the extra spiritual echoes inflected on it. I knew it...I just...

"They are from the living. I believe they do not wish to bring you any harm." Durnehviir assured.

(Oh this is very interesting.)

The Dragon Soul was very reluctant to turn itself around. As it finally convinced itself to do so, I noticed that the distinctive frame was softer and smoother than most of the dragons we have encountered so far. I couldn't place it.

(Looks more like a Jen Dovah to me... more so that I can see it's shape.)

An Amethyst Dragon? Hmmm...makes sense...

It's face was less pronounced. And less fierce. In fact, as it finally got around to look at us, every in it's ethereal form it just looked sad. But I instantly felt a connection to it. It wasn't hostile...and it was in great pain but unable to do anything about it. Durnehviir must've been protecting it. But still, the soul to me...just...was familiar. It certainly looked at me funnily. Eyes...must have been wide open. Somehow I knew that look...and Ayisha did too...Ayisha's eyes were locked onto the dragon and was busy contemplating what to do.

"Why...why are you here?" It asked us. The tone of such sorrow...was a tone that my ears have heard once before.

"You shouldn't have come. You..."

It covered it's head with it's wings.

"Young dov, do not fear..." Durnehviir told her.

(Do not fear...do not fear. Brynjolf. The signs are pretty obvious by now. Don't be blinded by the souls form before you. The spirit left in such a state, that the terminology you use makes sense now.)

Wait...what...no, you're kidding me...

I walked up to the dragon and squatted before it.

"Listen to me...let me see your face..."

"NO!" It shouted, nearly catching me off guard.

I couldn't technically grab it's claws and drag them away.

"Please...I'm not here to hurt you. I want to know..."

I could hear it sobbing. Everything was...like you said, obvious. There was only one undeniable truth. But I had to be sure...just to see it for myself...properly so I had to inspect it. To see, to see whether or not this what I was truly observing.

Slowly, but surely, the dragon moved it's claws and wings off it's face. A dragons' expression is only so varied but even then, there were always to minor tell-tale signs that give it away.

"_Petra..._" I whispered.

Her head dropped as she weeped.

"You don't need...you don't need to see me... like this Bryn."

Ayisha ran forward and stood next to me.

"Mama!" She cried. She tried touching her face, but jolted back when she felt nothing but cold.

"I'm so sorry, Ayisha...Mama can't be with you..." Petra told her with utmost despair.

My heart was feeling it as well...so twisted and churned and my stomach boring the pit again. She was here...she still existed and we had a way to bring her back to Skyrim...but in this state...I wasn't so sure.

"Hmmm...I hadn't seen a case like this before. Your form. A Jen Dov..." Durnehviir muttered.

"What do you mean?" Mother asked me, as she stood there watching on with a smile on her face that turned to curiosity.

"The one you call Petra...she was...mortal. Ah...okay. You've ended up in the Soul Cairn haven't you Dovahkiin? That's why you wouldn't tell me anything earlier..."

I glared at the dragon of muck with contempt.

"Girl's been traumatised beyond all reason and you're interrogating her?" I called out.

"I only was curious as to why a dovah's soul has come here. But now I see...hmmmm...I have heard from many other souls about the Dovahkiin throughout the ages...how the first one took succeeded in winning the Dragon War and the others that had taken over Tamriel as Emperor. But you...hm..."

Petra was so scared of herself right now. In this form, you can say she became the very thing she hated and feared. Irony was a cruel mistress.

"I don't know what to do Brynjolf. I can't...I can't go defeating Alduin like this? I'm...I'm stuck here." She called out.

I shook my head.

"No lass. We have a way of getting you out. We just need to..."

"For goodness sake, when will you learn to stay out of the way? Brynjolf? Nemetona? Goodness gracious the whole family is here!"

"Prolg..." My mother spoke with venom, as father appeared.

Thankfully, I think we all just wanted to take revenge.


	61. Echoes

**AN: Prolg. I really hate arrogant people myself actually.**

**Chapter 61**

**Echoes**

It's hard to believe that most of this was even happening. The amount of times Petra goes back into her shell, still afraid of what she was capable of. Even in dragon form, where you assumed that you'd be the most strong. But I think, that as she was, that perhaps you would think that the Realm-Walker saying she was right in being Doom Driven. Despite that, the lass has provided us with a means to get Petra back.

I wanted her so badly not to be afraid. It was okay for her to be, but not right now. She has the strength I know it.

(I know it as well.)

I don't care what form she is in, as long as she's herself. But as she was in this state, in this form it harder to see. But...my heart knows her as Petra and my love for her hasn't waned in the slightest. The woman that I have known all this time, is definitely right in front of me. I still want her, I still need her. And I will get her back. And father wasn't going to stop me.

He was boasting, he was ranting and raving. He reminded me of Mercer, the bastard. He had the same smug look on his face, the same twisted aura. It wrenched me inside. But...Petra had the uncanny ability to make friends...somehow. Durnehviir had accepted her and he's a dragon. Goodness knows what happened when she found out. And...I think she saw Mercer in my father as well...the same greed, the same pride. It would all be too much for her. Which made me hate my father even more.

The anger felt the same as on that day in Irkngthand. My fathers treachery was familiar to us as was Petra's situation. It was strange, history repeating itself. But only that I wanted to take him down as he had caused us all so much pain, particularly Petra. And no one, not even my father, was going to get away with what he did to my lass.

_My_ Petra.

Ayisha even hissed, with mother glaring at him all the same, holding the young khajiit back. All of us, and even Petra, were almost consumed with the equal amounts of a lustful hatred as the man who once was my father, stood there, taunting us.

Prolg was never my father. You must see that Priest.

(I understand that Brynjolf. Petra made me see my ways. However, I am not indebted to Prolg himself, as he is a member of the Cult. Be way though, I sense a foulness in the air. A clever magic cast around. I would exercise extreme caution .)

Aye, I'll keep that in mind. But what ever he planned, you could be sure it would never ever be good.

"So here we are, as a family again. Isn't it beautiful? All of us, here together for the first time in many years. Shame though you can't see the glories that the Cult will bring back to Skyrim. This has been longing for many eras. Brynjolf...I'm disappointed that you won't be joining us."

I sneered at him. How dare he.

"You ruined my life old man. You murdered Petra. What makes you think you're going to get out of this alive?"

He chuckled. Ugh...the nerve of him. Awful. Just awful.

"Son, all I wanted was peace. Peace like it was before the Dragon Wars' started. I aimed to claim Petra's soul for Lord Alduin, but it seems she's...quite the interesting spirit. I love the irony!"

Petra growled at him. Even in spirit form, you could sense her ire towards him. Good.

"Peace my ass! The Dragons have caused us nothing but misery! No offence..."

"None taken." Durnehviir replied. Some parties are allowed exclusion.

"No...it was the Dovahkiin who ruined our lives! Caused the ancestors to revolt against their masters with their betrayals. Nothing brings me more joy than to resurrect the old groups again."

I turned to look around, black skeletons forming all around him. What was this? I turned to Durnehviir.

"This isn't me. But I feel like I-"

The Dragon suddenly disappeared into the void without much warning. Shit!

I looked at Petra, who seemed worried about him.

"Durnehviir!" She cried.

I looked back at Prolg and gritted my teeth.

(Darkness perverts this place more so...I suspect a more powerful magic behind this!)

Mother put her foot forward.

"Prolg stop this right now!" She called out.

"The Dragons couldn't care less about your wasted sack of flesh!"

He smirked. I loathed him doing that. I fell like every inch of my body was bleeding with contempt.

"Ah but that's where you're wrong. You see, like Zokotinhaar, I approached Alduin and pledged my services to him. He wanted to bring back his favoured child. I informed quickly how that became impossible and he's now made me his head Dragon Priest. I've already made plans to rebuild the island completely...and start off our campaign properly."

(No...)

Mother shook her head.

"You're...nothing but a monster!"

I felt myself being trapped by shadowy tendrils, wrapping themselves around me. I struggled to break free, seeing my legs being grabbed by shadowy hands. I looked to see Ayisha and mother doing the same, being weighed down by the darkness around us.

"The Ideal Masters...don't you know they were once part of the cult? They were once mortal? They've allowed me free reign here. Immune to their hunger.

(Don't look at me, I never knew about this.)

How could you not know this? Seriously?

(Part of the reason that clouded my mind with doubt regarding the Cult was that even as leader supposedly, I wasn't getting any reports of much else. I feel like, with what Petra told me, is that I'm a figurehead. Always was. But now I aim for vengeance. Perhaps that Vosthadim was right to kill me.)

We won't know more until we find out. Right now, Prolg was wielding an extraordinary and terrible power in his grasp. His eyes cast with the shadow magics that enveloped him. His spirit, burning with a poisonous aura. What was this? What has Prolg done now?

I grunted as I shifted and pulled to break free. No...he can't do this. I could see the skeletons with swords and shields coming closer. No...this cannot be. I looked at Petra, who was screaming at herself being pulled. She wasn't used to this yet...no...we have to...we can't give up.

(Do you sense that Brynjolf? I detect a darker figure heading towards us nearby...)

Now that you mention it, I can...and in that next moment, all we could see was black...

* * *

I was awake, conscious, but unable to see anything. I wasn't in pain, nor could I see Petra, Ayisha or mother anywhere. Where were we?

(I do not know. I do not like it)

Neither do I lad. We're stuck in the middle of nowhere, with no place else to go.

I walked around, trying to find my sense of self. It felt cold, but with no wind or anything else to go by. Without light to guide us, we could be anywhere. And Prolg held all that power, that magic that would be deemed impossible to cast. He will pay.

I heard the roar of a dragon nearby. That had to be Petra.

"Petra! Is that you?" I shouted.

No response. No...this _isn't_ fair.

"Petra!"

My heart was beating fast and I was losing breath.

(Brynjolf keep it together. This place...this...area looks familiar. I know because there was something similar in Skyrim...back on Fellnir...but nothing of this scale. If I had known what the Ideal Masters were...I would have told you. Krosis.)

I'll try lad, I'll try. Don't stress over something that's not your fault.

(Heh...try to follow your own advice...)

Don't tell me what to do.

(I am stuck in your head...my spirit is lost as well. I do not wish to die again, so I can only help you. Now, you want to find the others? That should become your goal. There was an old saying amongst us Priests...Saar los fod hi nid lingrahiik lost suleyk wah kiird. Translates into Loss is only when you have no longer have the power to play)

I'd wager that no power means you're dead?

(If you put it that way then yes. We're both still alive...or you at least. Both of us use the shadows to our benefit. Why would it turn it's back on us now?)

You're telling me to use my abilities as a Nightingale?

(We're both stuck in this Nahgriinos brother, we're here together. You are a strong willed person, I just happen to be stronger.)

I'm a thief, not a priest like you. I have stronger patience. All I want to do is find Petra and the others and get out of here.

(Then you know your goal then. But you must hurry. You may have patience, but I believe we're not alone here. And I am not talking about the others...)

Then what is it then lad? What's inside with us?

(We're about to find out...)

I heard whispers again, worse and more garble than those in the cracks in the barren earth we had seen out in the Soul Cairn so far. I tried to keep quiet enough...but the whispers themselves were distant...then close...

_Brynjolf..._

_Brynjolf..._

Okay because that isn't creepy...not at all.

(Playing tricks on you...just keep walking...)

I wandered around, blinded by this shroud of hopelessness. I was pretty much blundering in the dark. I seem to use those words quite a bit. What word do you use?

(If you're expecting dragon language then you would use would be vul.)

That's a stupid word. I'll keep using dark then.

(I fail to care what you use. Just keep your eyes open.)

If Zoklotinhaar wasn't in my head, the quietness that just came out of nowhere would be more deafening in all amounts of the contradiction that caused. I suspect it would drive normal men mad. But after all the nonsense that's happened as of late, I highly doubt I was ever normal.

(No one ever is)

But when your heart is like mine, it's been hardened over the years by natural occurrences. There's no use pining over lost causes. But when the causes can be saved..even so...there's always doubt when you never needed it. It's worse when love is involved. It makes you do the silliest things and cling on to the most outrageous of beliefs. But it's worth it...worth spending time with those you care about.

_This better not be another waste of the Guild's resources Brynjolf..._

Mercer?

(It's fake. Something is very wrong here. Keep your guard up.)

Still can't see a damn thing.

_You're not saying this out of pity are you?_

My head must have been turning left and right. Purely out of instinct of course. But...that was Petra...I know...I...remember.

(It's more in your head than me...don't listen to any of it. Listen to me.)

No you're right. What ever's down in here is definitely trying to mess with my head. I won't let that happen.

_Did we actually manage to damage Bryn's pride?_

That voice. Unmistakably Vex's.

(Push through it.)

What ever it was it's definitely taken a look into my memories...forcing me to to reminisce.

_Petra's dead._

That was Mercer...after they'd come back from Snow Veil Sanctum. Shor's beard not that...anything but that.

(Drawing on the worse memories and nostalgia factor. Ignore it.)

I want to...but...it's bringing up all those buried emotions. Bryn, you are a stronger lad than this. You're not going to let it over come you.

_I am not ashamed to say that I love you too..._

(Okay now it's just getting on borderline ridiculous. Brynjolf...I want you to see get this guy to show himself...)

Petra...but yeah, duly noted there Priest. I drew out my blade once more. Enough was enough.

"Show yourself!" I called out.

My voice seemed to echo quite a bit. I heard it relay several times, suggesting where ever I was, was somewhat caged. How caged, I don't know. But I have been walking around for a while, without any light or indication of progress.

Although I did finally see something. A torch on a wall lit up to my left...a soul left stranded there. I approached it, trying to figure out where we were and where it all was. I had enough of this Labyrinth of nothingness. I had to find Petra and the others...

The soul itself had it's back to me, wearing Thieves Guild gear...it turned around to face me. Gods...that's not...

"Mercer?" I muttered, almost stunned.

"Brynjolf you insatiable dog. You and I had a thing going...we were buddies. You dragged your little dragon friend into it. Now I'm stuck here."

(This isn't a soul Brynjolf. It's a replica. I have seen these before. Wraiths like these like to take form of echoes. It's probably the source of the whispers. Destroy it.)

Lucky for me, I'm inclined to hate Mercer.

(But...you knew him personally. He was the one who brought you into the Guild wasn't he? You're still having doubts I see..)

No...I'm pretty sure I hate him

(If you insist...destroy him.)

I shook my head and readied my blade. Get your head out of the clouds Brynjolf you daft lad...you know you're better than this. The soul itself...taken Mercer's form screamed at me, jaw unrealistically long as it did. Almost more deafening than the previous silence.

I was fierce in my battle with it, clashing with it's blade that seemed to take shape and a physicality with it? Who knew.

(The Soul Cairn is forever a strange place that raises more questions than answers.)

Aye, I don't doubt that. I do miss the simple life of the Guild sometimes. I think I've had enough adventure to last me a lifetime.

(Think about that after we deal with Prolg and what ever else stands in our way.)

I know, I know...I never thought it was this mentally exhausting.

(That's his plan. The Cult had it's own type of warfare based on the mind. Perhaps the Soul Cairn and the Ideal Masters were once a part of that. I honestly don't know. But the more I think about it, then maybe Paarthurnax was right after all.)

I struggled to fight with this replica. Gods, he was strong. I clashed, slashed, made all the moves, but he wasn't backing down. Spirits tend to be rather unlimited in the stamina side of it.

I then witnessed another spirit nearby. It looked like Petra...but...

(It's there to trick you as well. Banshees are the female versions of the wraiths here. They transform into the female souls. These haven't been seen since the Dragon War. Prolg must have released something huge. And it's in the middle of this cursed place. Besides, Petra's a ghost of the dovah. Don't treat this one like it's her. They're all Echoes.)

Got it.

I know it's a struggle of the era when you're fighting against fake shades of your former friend and Guildmaster and another that takes the shape of the lass you love. I kept it together for the sake of the others, knowing I will find them. And by telling myself that I knew, it kept my hope alive.

Neither of them meant anything to me rather just foes I had to slay.

But...then more and more of them came into the room I was in, taking different forms of people I knew. The lot that just came in were actually the entire guild! Believe it or not, including Karliah...

(This is typical of these replicas. Supposed to be the ultimate torment. Keep doing what you're doing...I'll try and see whether or not I can figure out anything. I'll be back)

* * *

Great. Anyway, I blocked several blows and dodged like the Nightingale I had become prior. I was kind of glad I made that deal. I wasn't all keen on it. It grew on me in time. Pretty nifty, I might add. I knew none of these were real or even a fragment of the people I knew who were alive and outside the conduit. These were nothing but insults that needed to taken down a peg or two. But I was not going to back down now.

"Brynjolf!"

I heard mother yell from a distance. Good to hear a voice that wasn't outright there to torment me or was in my head...good he didn't hear that. Her tone was much more pleasant sounding and was natural than the whispers. I just know these things. I saw her as well, standing there. She charged into the fray with me, casting shock spells at the creatures. Never realized how into magic she was...only because I wasn't aware. Though her fortune telling should have been a big give away.

"Aye! Still here!" I called out, taking down a banshee that looked like Sapphire.

"There's a good lad. Let's get this show on the road then! Kyaaa!"

Mother proved herself to be a fearsome warrior. I'd never known her to be savvy in her skills as a mage, a mystic even. Still...we worked well together. I was even proud to be her son. Several tiring minutes later, we'd defeated the Echoes and silence returned to use once more. We stood near the only light source that I'd seen in some time and talked about what to do next.

"We're still in the Soul Cairn. Zoklotinhaar is trying to find out what we should do next. Hasn't got back to me about it though."

Mother nodded.

"Yes. This place has a dreaded air to it. Very fresh and yet very old. The Archives describe this place as a type of Subrealm meant to torment souls, as well as keep the old daedra within it. The Ideal Masters have kept this place well hidden from the souls around. I guess what ever Prolg did allowed them to send us here."

One thing still bothered me.

"Is it true that the Ideal Masters were part of the Cult? I wasn't sure what he meant by that." I wondered.

Mother seemed bothered by it as well.

"Records do indicate that they were once mortal kind. If they were part of the Cult, they were certainly well hidden. Alduin may have had hidden forces scattered across Skyrim. Which meant that even his most beloved Priest may not even be his most beloved after all. Zoklotinhaar's details weren't even kept on record on any other normal means. I think there may have been a greater cause for that. Keeping him secret."

(I wouldn't have a clue. Sorry, I'm back...what did I miss?)

Not much. Just discussing about the Ideal Masters again. And why you were kept secret from everyone else.

(Oh that. Don't ask. I have no idea either. I may have begun to doubt Alduin at one point. But I guess the only way to find out is to speak with Alduin, where ever he may be.)

I sighed...great. Another mystery to solve.

"Have you seen Ayisha or Petra anywhere?" I asked mother.

She shook her head.

"No...haven't seen either the girls. I did hear a few dragon roars earlier. I wasn't sure whether it was Petra or this place just making the strange noises."

Please Petra be safe. I know you're a ghost...but I can't help it but think about you.

(I'm aware of that.)

You stay out of it.

(The sooner I'm out of your head the better.)

Thankfully, I hope that would be very soon.


	62. Otherworldly

**AN: Warning...this fic is just going to get stranger and stranger from now on. If you like that, fine...if not...perhaps normalcy would remain. But otherwise, a lot of fanon in this. I thought it'd be cool, but that's also up to you. Read on!**

**Chapter 62**

**Otherworldly.**

I feel cold...and alone again.

I fell into this world as what I was...and not how I could be.

I fell into despair and shame...and the darkness that had followed.

I was found by Durnehviir, the odd green dragon of murk. Like Paarthurnax, he was not hostile, but peculiar to why I had to come to this realm. It wouldn't have been my first choice of course.

But...as I discovered myself, my real self, I was horrified. But I couldn't do much else. I couldn't touch much else. I wouldn't be able to touch Brynjolf again.

I hid myself from the world from the other souls who feared me. I would never want to hurt them, but, to them, I was nothing but a monster. I'm...I'm not a monster...I'm just...I don't...Gods...help me...

And when I saw...when I saw Brynjolf for that split moment I was worried he'd been sent down here two and I...was angry. Then there was Ayisha and Nemetona. They were down here too. I had thought I had failed. But Brynjolf assured me...he assured me that he was here to save me. Somehow. Don't know how but he was there.

I'm in a big drip of mordancy. I am what I hate and I fear and not what I expected. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. It was sad...very sad. What happened to my courage against all the others? What happened to the massive amount of strength I had gathered during my combat with the cluster of dragons sent against me? I wanted that power again, the power to believe. But each time I did, it would just collapse on me again. I was so sick of that happening.

When Prolg showed up and cast what ever crap he did, proclaiming the Ideal Masters allegiance to the Cult, I could scarcely believe it. And he shoved us all to nowhere. I need that fury again from my very spirit. I needed to draw upon it more often to know where to go, where to lead. To save the others and build myself upon the destiny I was created to do.

I was cast against a wall, with magical chains of violet and white that wrapped themselves around my wings, my neck, my tail...of all things...and my legs. You know as a Dragon it is very, very awkward. Even as a ghost, it gets just plain..strange as all. Otherworldly as permanently ethereal...

What it ever it contained it just...what it was...I really don't know how to describe better.

But the Soul Cairn is a dreary place. And you can't get out of it. I applaud Bryn in trying to make me feel better, but I know it's just not going to work...and I was...I...

I love Brynjolf. I wanted to hold him...and I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to go on more adventures and see the world with him. But...I'm dead...there's not much I can do.

I bided my time by myself, unknowingly. Alone...in the darkness chained to the wall. The only thing worse than being a ghost was one being chained up and unable to move. The ultimate torture.

Don't ask me anymore questions on how I feel because...with all the anger and sadness...everything eventually descends to a hollowness if left to linger long enough on your own. It changes you...you are nothing but your own mind wandering in the desolate plains, living in constant fear of the unknown.

At least as Vampire I could have done something. I was able to do things, contribute. Here, forget about it. I don't know what I could do...where I could go. Durnehviir. Paarthurnax...mother...father...Brynjolf...Ayisha...Karliah...Vex...Delvin...man I miss you guys so much...

"Little Petra!"

I looked up...seeing Prolg is his nastiness and pride. I wanted to spit fire in his eyes and watch him squirm.

"I assume you have me chained up against the wall for a reason." I snarked.

He shrugged.

"I needed the others to back off. You're an interesting case here. I've spoken with Alduin, and discussed what he wanted with you. He wasn't happy about Zoklotinhaars failures. But he's told me to make alternate arrangements with your soul. He's prepared to consume it for himself."

You've got to be kidding me.

"He's welcome to try." I taunted, roaring in his face.

He laughed instead.

"This is how it is meant to be, after all these years. With you gone, we'll finally have peace!" He boasted.

The nerve...

"I convinced Zoklotinhaar with the argument, that Alduin really doesn't care about mortals. I would believe you're most insane to take any of that in. The promise of power..."

He approached me his hands behind his back.

"Alduin gave me more power. You see..."

I was almost blinded by the sheer power that he'd changed himself into. He wearing some strange armour...the colouring looked, familiar.

"This is dragonscale armour with enchantments you'll never find elsewhere. Do you miss the feeling of bones Petra?"

I snorted.

"Bah...I'm more dragon than you'll ever be. You know it would end badly. I can tell."

"Maybe the roles should be reversed? You know, for a change. I play the dragon hunter and you be the dragon assaulting. Role reversals are fun."

No. Just no Prolg. You sad, strange little man. Just die already.

"I'm not playing any games with you. I'd rather kill you and get this over and done with."

He smirked.

"Wonderful. Except I won't. I don't want to toy with you just yet. There are quite a few perks with being friends with the people in this realm. A lot like your Guild. You build a lot of connections and so forth. My son was an expert in that. But you, heard you managed to get the majority of Skyrim underneath, your...uh claw...so to speak."

Very funny.

"Oh look. A jester..he's so funny. Hahaha.." I spoke with a monotone and groan in my voice.

"I once considered being a bard myself, but...being a Priest of Talos allowed me to get better insight in the Dragonborn mythology. There have been many Dragonborn, but you one of the only one to use the real power. But the first Dragonborn...the traitor who basically set the war off...he had fled to Solstheim believe it or not. Coward. A Priest like the rest of is. But we took him down eventually."

Somehow I didn't feel like that was the case...but anyway.

"Hey, I don't give a shit about that. I'm considering not really-...wait, what are you..."

He'd pulled out something from his pouch. A necklace?

"You're considered a melting pot of mystical powers from the Gods. Life from Arkay, Dragonblood from Akatosh, Beauty from Dibella, Birth from Kyraneth, Hard work from Zenithar, love from Mara...divine relation to Talos himself by being a potential successor. Although that is argued from my son being, you know, able to claim throne for himself. Stendarr was a bit a tricky case...since you know, you're a thief and in leige with Nocturnal...but I'd wager Stendarr would still support you irregardless. No...Alduin...wants to fight you. Wear this Amulet of Akatosh. For if you were the favoured child of the Dragon God of Time, he wants to fight you on equal grounds..."

I had no idea what he was on about. But he then hesitated, putting the amulet away.

"Although, I'm wondering how it would actually turn out. See if you have Stendarrs real favour, then you'd be the one...hmm...let me see..."

What was he muttering about now? He walked over to a case nearby. Long, made of gold. He opened it, revealing a long golden tube thing. I sensed it's power, great and unknown. But...it had such a magnified power to it. It was incredible even just staring at it. He brought it out and showed it to me? Such...energy. What...what was it?

"Petra, I think there's a newly written tale in here. No one knows how it actually got here. They call it the Elder Scroll."

I blinked. What? An actual...Elder Scroll? What? No! The energies...for some reason, I knew they were tethered from time but...

"I had a Moth Priest read this out to me in Cyrodiil. I told him I had to keep the scroll for noble purposes. He had a go at me...I had him murdered. Simple as that."

That blunt huh?

"The scroll contradicted the legends of the Dragonborn foretold elsewhere. I wasn't quite...quite sure what to make of it you know...you see, Elder Scrolls are the most fascinating and wondrous creations...because absolutely nobody knows who, or where they come from. But for people like you, can be unharmed by them. But this one...the dragons fear it. There is another in Skyrim, in the depths somewhere according to some crazy old mage. "

I wanted to make a target out of that bald head of his and spit ice at it. That would do him good. Or impale him through his skull with the end of my tail if it was solid, just to hear the crunch and see the blood spill everywhere.

"Something...must have changed in the timestream, after Alduin had been sent across it. No one predicted...not really. My wife happened to mention it in one of her spells. So I made the trip there to claim it and see it for myself. Now...I happen to see...times have definitely changed. For better? For worse? Who knows! I'm anticipating a greater future for all of us!"

Yawn...give me something else. Your worship bores me.

"The one thing that blocks it though, is your ties to Nocturnal. If you did that, then you would definitely...perhaps that's what the scroll can be used for..."

I started counting for no reason what so ever as Prolg began talking to himself. I was up to 108 so far in the depths of his constant muttering and nonsense.

"I can...break your connection to Nocturnal with the scroll. And use...it to ascend you. Hmmm..."

I lifted my head...

"Ascend me?" I repeated.

He nodded and smiled.

"Yes...that's what Alduin wants me to do. By denouncing your oath to Nocturnal then I can proceed with the ritual. Oh...yes...yes I can do that. This is what he's been waiting for."

I blinked, unamused.

"No...don't think I'll be doing that. If it helps your plans, then...no."

He rose an eyebrow me. Superior pose everyone...ugh...

"Deny it all you like Petra...it will happen. We'll make it happen eventually. Till them. I will allow you to think about it...because it will only get worse from here. Farewell and give my regards to my wife and son if you see them still alive out there."

He disappeared with all the items left behind. Ascend? What did he mean?

* * *

No matter. I was stuck here...alone again, tied to this wall. I sighed. Prolg...you...insufferable asshole. You will die...I swear it.

I _swear _it...I'll _pummel_ you into the ground, I'll _rip your head off_ and I will _destroy you _and...

Something dark was near. Darker than I had expected. And the muttering...in another language I detected. Couldn't work it out. It was cold when my spirit was numb. This...was unnatural. I am spirit without force. Not much I could do. I looked down...seeing the necklace on the ground. Prolg must have dropped it. But I felt the course of the flow of my spirit-fathers energies. The chain was longer than normal, to accommodate for my obviously bigger neck. I wondered, if it was part of Prolg's ploy...hm...

For now I would tend to myself and think. An Elder Scroll. Least likely thing here. It's power, undeniable. I was lucky my ties to Nocturnal would protect me. Her luck, guides me. I'd rather be in the Evergloam protecting my fellow thieves if none else, than be in the mess. Those times were much simpler, I reckon.

I heard a bit of scuffling and lifted my head. I squinted as...I saw a familiar face find it's way into this desolate and dark place in the middle of nowhere.

"Ayisha!" I muttered.

She looked up at me and smiled. Good.

"Mama!" She called out.

"Mama, what are you doing up there?"

I smirked...

"Uh...kinda got stuck. Dunno if you can help me get down at all. We'll need to find papa and papas mother. They still gotta be around here somewhere."

Ayisha gulped.

"Ayisha knows they're still around...wandering in the shadows. Though, something won't allow us to leave. It ties us to this place until it's defeated."

Always a damn catch. Well...I suppose there's no use sitting around...the amulet...hmmm..

"Ayisha, see that amulet of Akatosh there? Can you tell me if there's something strange about? I'm aware of it's usual enchantment. But I need to know if you can sense anything else to it?"

The young khajiit rubbed her chin.

"There...is a stronger enchantment to it. A bit different...but otherwise same. Mama need it?"

Prolg had cut off his explanation regarding that type of amulet for me to wear. Too caught up in his own stupid ideas. I can't wait to tear him a new one...but if I suspected it would do what I thought it would...he said the ritual can't be done unless...unless I cut off my ties with Nocturnal. I'll have to give it a thought. But like Ayisha mentioned, there is a strange power from it. I had to try at least.

"Ayisha are you to able to place that on mama's neck?" I asked her.

She nodded.

"Sure. Ayisha be glad to.."

Damn this was getting too weird. Was anyone seeing this coming? I sure didn't. What was a simple rescue mission just got a whole lot stranger. I just wished I would just got stabbed and that was it. No dying or being sent to the Soul Cairn then get lambasted with an infodump about something about Gods and other crap. I miss doing Guild work.

Ayisha impressively bounced from chain to chain and rested on my neck. She helped to put over my neck and ears. How she was actually staying there on my neck slash back, I accustomed that to Khajiit or Mane or what ever magic she likes to use. Most magic things from Ayisha are endless, but you kind of expect it anyway.

I shook my head to let it slide down. Ayisha jumped off and stood below me as she lifted her head.

I felt an energy surge through me. Of all things. Prolg better not be playing tricks with me. I swear if this is doing what he wanted and he lied I was going to kick his ass.

Instinct told me to trust it and I somehow still felt like I was with the shadows...somehow. Dragon's intuition, call it that.

But...I felt the cold naturally. The emptiness from within was filled and now...I felt. Alive and empowered and natural...sort of.

Ayisha grinned.

"Mama alive! Yes. Amulet of Akatosh worked!" She cried.

Must be a secondary thing. Or being a spirit-daughter probably helped out. This has probably never ever been done before. It's much better than being undead, but I probably still was. Flesh surrounded my immortal spirit. I looked at my wings, seeing shining purple scales. Huh...An Amethyst Dragon. Neat. I had more strength to break free and smashed the chains to pieces. I fell to the ground and shouted into the air. I like the effect it gives. Makes you feel pretty...pretty powerful.

But you couldn't call me Dragonborn anymore...

Call me a legitimate Dragon. I think. I don't know. I feel indifferent but nothing extremely dramatic. There were senses were just bolstered a hundred fold. I was connected to dozens of sources and was shielded by awesome scales.

"Mama looks pretty!" Ayisha commented happily.

I smiled. We both were in the shadows together., safer, together.

"Climb on mama's back. Let's go find Papa and Grandmama!" I told her.

She clapped her hands and giggled. I let down my neck...man, dunno if I'll ever get used to that. Anyway, she got up there and held on tightly. I think she'll have more fun with this than I ever will. But you know, I am never still a hundred percent sure on dragons. Even if I am just one for the time being. I'm pissed off at Prolg still and really want to decimate him greatly, I'm...surprisingly okay with it. Like it was natural. Hmm...more to think about.

I flew up into the air.

Uh...thank Akatosh for this? I don't know...


	63. Mother and Child

**AN: Call this a belated Mother's Day chapter. And everyone's favourite ship in swing!**

**Chapter 63**

**Mother and Child**

It's been a while since we'd managed to get this far. Mother and I. The realm that called us to it, inevitably, would try and torment us. You know how it likes to do that sort of thing.

I had gotten used to the darkness mostly, apathetic to it's apparent ploys. I'm not gonna kick any time soon either. But the whole ordeal suggests that I'm kind of used to it by now. Although with mother here, it was a strange situation. I wanted to ask so many questions, but had no idea what to ask first.

Back when I was a young lad, we used to live at Shor's Stone. Yeah, not exactly homely but we managed. But I left alone with the other miners a lot, while mother and father were always out. You get your work cut out for you, hacking away at resources so I learned the trade at an early age. That's when none of them were tending to their obsessions of course. Mother would be isolated one moment, then you would see her just...out. Not a word from her. She just got up and left. Me...alone.

No need to feel sorry for me. I was glad. Dad wasn't pestering me about Talos this and Talos that and I got along with the miners. Peaceful. Simple. But I never saw my parents together. Not for a long time.

I was working away in the mine, well, they often wouldn't let me pick for ore, so they got me doing the run arounds. Getting water, doing errands. I came out, and father out of the blank told me mother had died. I knew she was sick, but she would recover fine. Some days she was fine, but others, she would just have the worst fever.

The woman walking beside me was not the skin and bones I once took her for. She strode along with total confidence and I had a hard time believing it was her. Maybe it's just me, who took care of her when she was at her worst. I never really understood her nonsense but I listened to her because no one else did.

He wouldn't allow me to see her body, instead telling me that he buried. I got suspicious, but didn't have the guts to question it. I was young and naïve and now that it's all been shown to me, I was ill-nerved and outright...puzzled.

Mother was more loving that she was normally, I suppose. I never really had the normal mother-son experience. You can say that about my relationship with Prolg. Perhaps I got along with Mercer so well because the two of them were very much a like, except Mercer knew what I wanted, but in the end, the two of them were just insane assholes.

I don't know whether I should be sad or happy that she's here with me. I don't know what our relationship was supposed to be like. What was I supposed to day? I had tended to her as her carer and now she's suddenly fine. Just felt like she was brought back from the dead.

It just felt wrong, you know.

When I joined the guild, Mercer became my mentor. He taught me how to be a thief and explained the difference between what it meant being in the guild and not a common bandit. We got along well, to which his betrayal hurt me the most. Although, from what Petra told me about her...shared moments with him, I can't tell who was worse off.

Trust is hard to come by, even as a member of the Guild. But you have to hone your instinct and trust your gut. Mercer was deceptive, as was Prolg. I didn't want to believe the story until Petra stated what had occurred between him and her. It's the kind of treachery you never expect from the one you would call friend.

Mother was such a contrast to what she once was. To think of what she is now...I would have never have guessed. I wanted to make up for the time we lost, but too much has gone passed to consider mending any broken bridges. I made up my wall and got over it. You may think that I'm ungrateful but...when mother has more secrets than you do. You have to consider what was actually going on and were her priorities straight when she first took the offer of Loremaster?

I loved the woman who would smile at me as I left the house. I loved the woman who were tell me I would meet a beautiful girl one day and have several children. And I believed her.

I couldn't get the image out of my head of the woman beside me having changed so much, that it was difficult to determine her role. Did she love me as her son? Or was I some pawn in Nocturnal's game?

"I have to ask you something..." I told her. I had to know.

"Did Nocturnal...plan for me to take up her offer?"

Mother looked at me, offended even.

"I wasn't surprised you were drawn to be a Nightingale Bryn. Our ancestors have been Nightingales since Zoklotinhaar. I actually wanted to marry Gallus myself as I was sharing my knowledge with him, but he fell in love with Karliah instead...my own cousin. Would you believe it?"

I wouldn't have thought twice about being related to the current Guildmaster. Thought propped into my head a few times.

"We both have a fire in our blood and the tendency for darkness. My father, your grandfather was a good man who's race's perversion for bad luck hit him hard. I suppose love nowadays is just as much a battle as it is between those with just as much pride in their hearts."

Oh Shor...she wasn't...she wasn't going to talk about me and the lass was she?

"But you and Petra have more in common than you both may think otherwise. Connections to the dragonblood notwithstanding. Her position as Dragonborn was actually a wise thing to do."

I browed.

"Why would that be? She's a thief, she never desired to lead that type of life. I told her, from my understanding, is that they chose her because they knew she would make the kind of decision eventually to do the right thing and become was she just born to do. She had my full confidence, but I can't help but think if the world turned it's back on her, if she's actually susceptible to failure."

Mother smiled.

"You're right. The Gods make those sorts of decisions all the time. But even with the uncertainty, the anonymity of her position makes it viable to protect herself and develop a protective response."

I rubbed the back of my neck.

"Yeah...she...she never had a fun time with the dragons. She was outright frightened of them. She's stuck as one now. I can't imagine what she must be feeling."

"Neither can I." Mother stated.

"But no one would have guessed otherwise. You can't track every bloodline. We only tracked out own to the simplest terms because we had a feeling the Cult would return one day. My mother confirmed those details, alongside Grandmother Barenziah. The problem with the tracking is that information will leak eventually, no matter how hard you try to protect it. And that makes everyone linked sensitised to assassins and those with political agendas in mind. You and I for example are legitimate Septims. In the case of the dragonfires back during the Oblivion Crisis is a different story. The Archives stated that Nocturnal pulled the veil of shadow over my grandfather. Technically because, well, the blood line was already involved with Oblivion to begin with."

Still a bit of confusion though.

"I've read the covenant of St. Alessia was supposed to stop that. How would that mattered much?"

(Nocturnal and several other Daedra are not considered notably evil in a sense. Those who would say otherwise are ignorant to the fact. Her and her sister, Azura and you may consider Meridia to be the same, have noble goals for Nirn in mind and aren't like the other daedric princes and their tendency to bring chaos to this realm. Nocturnal...is an ambiguous case.)

"Consider the contribution of the other Princes to not exactly state their original intentions. But you have to consider souls as a Princes currency. They're the most valuable things in their eyes. They have a little competition between themselves and perhaps the Aedra to see who is the 'richest'. In the end, all of it is just a game."

I rubbed my chin.

"What about Petra? What about the other Dragonborn in history?" I wondered.

"Dragon souls are the most revered because they're most valued in power but it's nearly impossible for a Prince to claim their souls in the first place. Dragon souls are aberrant. Classified as immortal, as they are tied to the streams of time. They exist forever in some way, shape or form. Even when absorbed they're just a unique string of energy. A game. A game of laws constructed by Akatosh himself. Because he could. They are his children after all. So in truth, no one holds real claim over a dragon soul and can't actually take them unwillingly. The soul has the power of choice after death. However, the laws dictate that if killed by another of those laws, then that soul is consumed."

(Within that moment, you consider the Gods to be more cruel than the princes at times)

Even so, no one holds power over Petra's spirit. She has to go along willingly to go where she wants to.

"Do the Archives tell you that?" I asked her.

Mother smirked.

"It's passed along from Loremaster to Loremaster. You know Talos was Dragonborn. He made his decision. He became a God didn't he?"

It's amusing to be related to a God. Shor have mercy.

"So both of us you say are related. So...does that mean our own spirits are unique?"

She shrugged.

"It's hard to say. You can have Dragonblood within you, a portion of the power from a ancestor who possesses the blood. But you have to have a Dragon soul as well to be considered a true Dragonborn. Like Petra. We don't absorb the power of the dragons like she does. But we can certainly have the power to understand a lot easier than normal people and we're somewhat benefited on a mystic's scale. We're somewhere stranded in the middle. We have our tenets with Akatosh too. Martin Septim sacrificed his life to save Cyrodiil and by extension Tamriel from the wrath of Mehrunes Dagon via summoning an Avatar of Akatosh to the realm."

I nodded. I could somehow understand. It may explain the feelings of the word walls that Petra and I had seen over time. I could sense the auras emanating off them.

"So, if I wanted to do the same, I could?" I wondered.

She shook her head.

"St Alessia established the covenant with Akatosh a long time ago, creating the Amulet of Kings. You'd only be able to do so by speaking with Akatosh yourself to re-stablish something like in mind. But don't get any ideas Bryn, you're not summoning an Avatar."

I wasn't even considering it. It was just a question...it was quite the fascinating tale, to know that I had that kind of potential. I guess being a descendant is more a blessing than you think. Explains a few impossibilities that have happened over the past few years/

"Aye, but even so...with the death of the dynasty...it's all tangled and twisted at the moment, isn't it?"

Mother sighed. She's always been the one for knowledge. But I hadn't known she had kept a lot of it in storage for a long, long while.

"Time has always been fickle. By saying that, we're always the ones sacrificed for the games the Aedra and Daedra like to play. Petra, as Dragonborn, would have been written into the time stream by Akatosh himself. She has a role to play, a soldier in the battle-field that can has the best power of all. Most of us are condemned to a fate played by our choices and will have to suffer the consequences of our actions, like you and I, will end up in the Evergloam because of our Oaths, bound to Nocturnal for eternity. Petra has the flexibility to decide for herself...I envy her. She could become a God herself, if she so chose."

(No offense, but that would be an incredibly bad idea.)

I smirked.

"I do doubt that she would. I think she desires a life to just live as she can...as a mortal should. And not be thrown around by people who claim power over her."

Mother flicked hair out of her face.

"She is as rewarded for her services. Taking down dragons is never an easy feat. She is a hard worker is she not?"

Petra has worked considerably hard for the Guild, once you looked at all the wealth it gained after she joined. She's brought us the highest we've been in for years.

"Dragons are definitely tenacious and wild creatures. You could say the same about Petra..."

I stated, unknowingly trailing off at the end.

But then her smile became wicked. By Shor.

"Is that why you're drawn to her hm?"

I felt the heat on my cheeks. Not now! Ugh...

"Petra is Petra, mother. You don't need to know any of that."

She chuckled.

"Bryn...I know what love is when I see it. I had dreams about her when you were a bit younger. When I saw her I was...having this strange vision of deja vu. I think you were destined to meet her." She said with the hint of comedic tone. Sounds stupid when she says it like that.

Petra means a lot to me. But mother to tease me about it, that's crueler than when Delvin and the others were doing it before. But this time I have accepted those feelings.

(She probably wants you to have grandkids.)

Shor we're not even married! Why would we even think about kids in a time like this?

(Maybe she likes the way you and Petra are with the young cat girl?)

Ayisha? Great...we've given her ideas. And why does her visions not surprise me in the slightest? This was completely embarrassing.

(I wouldn't be embarrassed for the love I have. If I was in love with a mortal like that, I wouldn't be ashamed. The fact that she loves you back is a great honour.)

Wait, don't you hate Dragonborn?

(One may have killed me, but I'm seeing it. I'm not as ignorant. Being here with you and the others has made me look at it the situation with a bit more clarity. My pride does not shield me and it does not bode better on either of us to hide anything. They are made to teach dragonkind a lesson that they are not Gods, just incredibly powerful creature that are the creation of real gods.)

I'm glad you're seeing that Priest. But, we have the dragonblood. I do anyway...perhaps while I don't have the soul like Talos did, we may still have the ability to tide fate.

(Possible...maybe.)

"Yeah..uhh...thanks ma?"

She laughed.

"Ah Bryn, isn't it nice though? The both of you on these exotic adventures together. Only if I had that with your father."

(She has to be joking)

I think she might be.

"Petra is good at what she does. She just needs a little push that's all." I told mother.

"And it's nice. She does really care about you, you know. I'm only happy my son's found a woman worthy of my respect. And I hope you care about for her more than her body and love her no matter what she becomes."

Ahh yeah...please stop talking about this. I love Petra. Nord, Vampire, Dragon. I don't really care. As long it's just...Petra. That's all I care about and that is the woman I fell in love with.

(You still have that Amulet of Mara tucked away?)

Gods, I forgot about that. Why did you remind me?

(I found it. You were going to propose to her, weren't you?"

Uhh...I was considering it. I want Petra to be with me.

(Be proud of it then. You just don't want your mother to go all hyperactive about it.)

Now just isn't the time!

"Bryn is something the matter?"

I sighed.

"I'm sorry. It's just...I do love Petra. I want to be able to help her. And right now we're doing the exact opposite. Can we just remain focused and worry about all this later?"

She frowned.

"Oh Bryn, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm really happy for you though. You've always been a responsible young lad. I just...I'm sorry I've never been there for you myself. You took care of me all these years. And now you're doing it again with Petra. Your heart is in the right place. And I'm really proud of you. You just have this natural tendency to look after people. You're probably thinking that you're not a proud son with the best role models. But I can tell you I am proud mother."

I feel...bad. I don't...I don't know...maybe I am over-thinking things and worrying too much. But...

(Your love for Petra makes you worried irregardless. I know what that's like. I'm certain it will change for the better. Look at what I am saying...you're a bad influence.)

"Maybe once this is all over, I can return to the Guild proper. I'll try not to be an embarrassment in front of you. I'll tend to the Hall once more, back to my duties and keep in contact. Just promise me you'll invite you mother to the wedding?" She spoke with sincerity.

I smiled.

"That would be nice. I'd like that. I think a few members of the Guild need an attitude adjustment."

She may have not taken to the role as she should have when I was growing up, but she still had that warm, motherly aspect about her. Must come about when you have kids...or I've subconsciously watched how Petra treats Ayisha as she was her own.

(Yes that must be it)

She may have never got to be a mother to me, but I think. I believe we can still be good friends in the meanwhile. She is mother by blood after all, but I get along well with people if they're willing to get along with me. I still don't feel the vibes from her though, but not exactly a bad thing. I've grown up with an independence and I can take care of myself in the long run. We can catch up, and I don't know if I can forgive her for abandoning us, but I do have the strength to carry myself along otherwise.

She has her reasons, I'm sure. But there's a barrier of doubt that surrounds us. But we got along and that was good enough for us to be just good friends. When I told her that, she seemed to be okay with it, accepting that I would start calling her by her real name instead. Or her nickname, either way.

* * *

We kept walking, then she had sensed something nearby by and urged us both to be cautious. I could feel it to, readying my blade for anything.

"Papa!"

I heard a familiar voice, alongside flapping wings that were sounded in the distance. I squinted. Wait...that voice was Ayisha. And...were my eyes really deceiving me?

(No. I think that is who you think it is)

We were welcomed by a large, violet dragon. And that riding it was definitely the young khajiit. The Dragon, she was unmistakable.

"Petra..." I muttered.

She flew down beside us, lowering her entire body down to let Ayisha off her neck. I...I was happy to see her. I'm not at all surprised she had somehow gained a tangible form. She gets miracles like that sometimes. Somehow they just happen to her. Probably part of her magnificent plate of powers, both passive and active.

I walked up to her, looking in her eyes, still as light-blue as the day I saw her. She smiled. And I knew her smile came up even if head and face was a giant lizard. I felt indifferent to her form. She did have nice thick horns, curved nicely and her wings a wonderful shade of lavender. She was beautiful...fitting for one such as her.

(You still love her all the same)

She had trouble looking me in the eye, until I grabbed her head. It felt nice just touching her again. Something I had been meaning to do for a long time. Scaly...but I didn't care. Not as nice as touching her skin but it was close enough.

"Thank goodness you guys are alright." Petra stated, relieved. Her voice had a bit more...boom to it with a bit of mystical echoes with it.

I smiled and nodded. She was always such a magical creature.

"Aye...we're fine. Good to see you're managing yourself well."

Even as a dragon, she still had all the humanoid mannerisms, like shrugging.

"Beats being a ghost. But...I had encountered Prolg while we were over there."

Mother came up from behind me.

"Prolg? What did he do?"

Petra described how she was chained and how she talked with the man and his apparent rise to power, wearing a unique dragonscale suit...and that he desired a ritual from her, but unable to do it due to her links with Nocturnal. I had no idea what he was trying to do, but involved the Gods somehow. She told me he was muttering. I forgot he used to do that often when trying to plot something. The man knows no bounds. And he will pay. And the fact he had an Elder Scroll, a powerful instrument, made matters worse. The only thing we could do, was delay everything as much as we could, but somewhere within me made be believe would find a way to force a sever, for now, I will protect Petra.

Mother studied Petra's words, as if trying to get into the lass's head. Ayisha had then jumped into my arms as I held her. She then rested her head on my shoulder. Poor thing must be exhausted.

Looking at her though. It gave me a warmth.

(Fatherly warmth. I sense it)

Ayisha wasn't really family though. She was with us because we needed to protect her from Prolg and everything else. We do plan to return her someday.

(I'm just going to retreat for now. Call me when you need me.)

Alright then? Anyway, we hugged one another. But, this...this felt like family. A real family. We...it's an odd feeling. A sensation I'd never predicted that I would have. And it's like, a really bizarre group. A nord, a dragon and a Khajiit. Think of the context of that if it was taken incorrectly. I suppose it's not the worst thing that would happen, but the happiness that ran through me was nice. Aye, I could go on about it...but we have more to worry about it.

But...even so...I was glad Petra was of the flesh. I think in her eyes that she felt much better too. Her spirit taken form once more. She told me of the Amulet of Akatosh she was wearing. Now it made a bit more sense. But, Prolg was now in direct league with Alduin, and I feared this was going to get much worse.

But...Petra, she was shy in showing her love. Being a dragon made just a tad more awkward. I don't blame her. She had her power and her strength. And I was here, ready to support. I let Ayisha go for the moment, as mother knew we needed some time alone so she took her elsewhere while Petra and I talked.

* * *

The funniest part was when she nuzzled me with that long snout of hers, rubbing against my cheeks. But it was rather nice, only because it was Petra. Her lips were a bit big for me to kiss, but I just gave her a peck on her head to make sure. I could hear her breathing and felt the warm air coming from her...large nostrils. I felt her horns, smooth and hard as I ran my fingers over them and her scales. I wanted her to feel better and not to worry to what I thought about her. She's definitely still Petra...only a bit bigger. Don't look at me like that. She's a good person in a bad situation. Be damned if we don't make the best of what we had.

I had missed her dearly. And I was so sorry if I had caused her any pain. We attempted to hug one another. Another obstacle. She rose her 'arms' and wrapped her wings around me as I hugged her somehow, putting my arms on her back. I could hear her loud heart beats as I put my ear to her chest. Her form was much softer looking than your regular dragon. She had taken the guise of the seemingly unknown Amethyst Dragon. Those that you would find only in dreams.

"You...don't mind this form?" She asked me.

I shook my head and grinned.

"Hey, I know who you really are lass. Don't worry about me."

Her heart beat intensified. I rubbed her back. She must have been quite emotional about it. She was coping better than I expected her to. I certainly hope she keeps exceeding my expectations. But I don't want to put pressure on her if I was going to think like that. She'll do it anyway, irregardless of what I think.

"Shh...it's fine. Really. We're stuck here together anyway. So I doubt we'll be going anywhere anytime soon. And hopefully we'll be able to kill Prolg together."

She let go of me and stood back, lowering her head as she inspected me. I doubt she would have known I would have said that, but the man wasn't my father and never was. I take to my own now, without fear or compromise. I am Brynjolf the Master thief, and I'll keep it that way if I can. But I was Petra's as well and she had always been my dragon girl. One and only. Don't care what it takes. As long as she's safe. And if killing Prolg means that we'll find peace, then so be it.

"You're going to do that? Of course I'll be glad to help...only..."

I kissed her on her the nose again. I know she would want to be a bit wary of the issue, but I can understand her concern.

"Don't stress that pretty head of yours lass. Neme and I have talked about this. It's been a long time coming. Right now, we'll need to focus on us getting out of here. Did you happen to see anything on your flight over?" I asked her.

She shook her head.

"No...I didn't. But I do sense something nearby, on the spectrum of undeath. Actually, it seems to be getting closer. I don't know what it is, it's exceedingly powerful."

(I'm back for the moment...I sense it too. I know what it is...get ready for it..)

What was it? I readied my blade and warned Neme and Ayisha as Petra turned around to face the empowering force that was steadily approaching us. Whispers skittered all around us and cold gusts brushing us around. I was ready for it.

(It's the Reaper!)

Thankfully fitting for something undead. A bit of flair in that voice of yours priest.


	64. Mortality VS Immortality

**AN: Another chapter of philosophical discussion.**

**Chapter 64**

**Mortality vs Immortality.**

You know you're screwed ten days from Sundas when you're roaming around in the dark in some plane of Oblivion.

And a monster that calls itself the 'Reaper' doesn't exactly suggest you'd survive the experience. But no matter, we'll make do with what we have and kick it's ass.

I growled at it's ugly blackened form and the darkness we found ourselves in wasn't making the situation easier. But it held it's ethereal form before us, holding an axe, with burning red eyes, taunting us with it's hollow, echoed laughs. It just looked stupid. It was stupid. It made me angry.

I flew up and flew around us, shouting fire at it. It shielded itself and summoned an army of bonemen to combat the others. Should have known it would have friends. But as I fought it, flying around avoiding ghost arrows I realised myself, that taking the skies and fighting off land-dwelling foes...it dawned on me of the powers I now wielded, ended up taking form of what started my phobia

The sensation of power, the structure and the hindsight. I can see how this makes most dragons feel invincible. You're literally given a fight or flight situation and you see that all those look smaller beneath you and that at any given moment, they could crush you.

Dragons are compelled to dominate and I was no different. I had a reaction to a normal dragon's nature and yet, though I would freeze upon the sight of it. I am what I fear...I evolved and grew as much as the phobia didn't want me to. I was afraid of my own kind. But...I am human and mortal. My real flesh will rot in time. I am not undead, but I am something...more...

The uniqueness that comes with being Dragonborn is because the Gods are there to prove that they can change the world for better or for worse. They're not exactly extremely involved with the mortals that worship them but they have their subtle influences. Similar to Nocturnal herself.

I am me. I am Petra. Who is anyone to say otherwise?

I change physically. I may change mentally, the outlook of one and the perspective develops, bt really, to be risen in the ways of mortal kind normally is you will understand mortality. I think that's what makes me strong. You can have all the power as an immortal, but you've never comprehended the factors of mortality and can go into despair, I feel. Death was never an option if you were lucky enough, but as mortals we can expect to die, but we work hard to make sure our lives meant something. And to not abuse them like majority should...especially the Daedric Princes.

All these...treacherous creatures that may have brains and brawn but none of them have any real heart. They're too lazy to learn how to love and protect. But there are others who may care, but ultimately are separated from the rest of us.

Life and Death has been a topic for scholars for years. Where do we go? What happens? The constant charge of energies that are with us all our lives and suddenly, one day...those energies are gone. What ties us on the string of life and what cuts it short?

Brynjolf fights off the bonemen with such ferocity...no sense of hesitation dwelled in his heart. A mortal's tenacity is strong. Yet, my soul is immortal? This what immortality is?

But being akin to a Gods plane...does that divide my heart with my humanity?

I am stronger without death as my shadow...but I am weaker without time. Time will no longer flow. My soul exists outside of it. The time stream empowers me as a being, a creature.

Petra can die but Petra is ageless as this. The states of existence that are mostly in tune to what can and can be allowed to sit well with each and every plane. Mankind exists to serve as reality. But mankind can smile and survive as long as it can...

I look at Ayisha, her freedom of expression, her skills as a child. Taught by one of the Clan mothers. Yes...death brings sadness but we know we must use the time we have to pass on our legacies to our children. They hold a piece of ourselves within them and within the years that make them grow, so they that impart that same wisdom into the next generation

We grow and die but we're never really gone. We're somewhere, contributing somehow. That's what mortalkind has done for centuries. We fight for ourselves, we fight for what we believe in. I am destined to die one day without turning back again. Because I am flesh, blood and soul as a living child of man.

Time also keeps us sane. Time keeps us motivated when we don't have much of it. Procrastination of the heart dwells within. Growing old beyond our means.

But why am I thinking this? Vampirism gave me a taste and while it made me stronger in terms of personal power, it made me weaker morally. Was it, because the way I'm shouting beasts apart in the most gruesome way possible, the way I'm currently taking hold of one of the bonemen in my teeth that while my lust for violence drives me to do so, that it was the same empty feeling afterwards like I was as vampire. And the real pain does not come easy. If I was born immortal it would have been different. I would have have the background knowledge and the subconscious apathy to the plight itself.

But you have to wonder even, well, I am sort of undead again. I think. Don't know what I am actually...but...is it worth the pain of losing ones self just to live forever? Is that the price a mortal pays to stop inevitable death? I don't know...I have no idea. I want to grow old and die because that's what my purpose is as a human and I will fight until my dying days. Isn't that why Akatosh made me?

No one can answer that question.

Even as a dragon, no amount of magic can transform your mind state. You can love it if you so chose, but eventually, while you stop aging, your mind keeps aging no matter what. Ceasing existence is a blessing, because you are then freed from the binds of your consciousness. Because what happens if you end up a blabbering fool stuck in the chains or being imprisoned from time itself? I've always wondered. You see the elders, who wander the lands or just rest until they pass because they've seen enough in the world and all they can do, other than fight is to inspire and educate others, teach them...

I wouldn't call myself a teacher. I was born a nord. I am a thief, a warrior of the shadows. My short-term goals aren't noble, but my long-term ones are. I decimate and decipate the Reaper with ease and shout on the pool of black muck that he forms.

The rest of the bonemen cease to be. How undeath is nothing but a cruelty to senseless souls.

"That was...fun." Brynjolf joked.

I looked at him with skepticism..

Yet, while bodies change, the very core of your own being...is it possible to remain as you are or do you change as well and can you fall down far enough that you're no longer considered what you were originally.

Change as a concept is a love-hate relationship. Minor and major...welcomed, feared or and it's absolute atrocity.

This is making me think too much. And with time no longer holding me back, I am allowed to think too much. This is what makes me despise it. There must be a middle ground as to how much you're allowed to contemplate. Because when you think things, you get ideas and ideas can get stuck in your head.

I really am over-thinking this, ironically. I'll make do with what I have and what options I could be eligible to take. I never wanted to get power into my head because I definitely know where it leads to. I am expecting so much change and yet, occasionally I feel exactly the same...I don't know what it is, but, I might be anticipating something brewing beyond the horizon.

The lights themselves turn on in the form of torches that revealed a small room. Perhaps the nightmare of that was over. I still am worried over what Prolg was saying and just wanted out of here and stay far away from that as possible. But...in my gut I sense truth in his words. I will fight Alduin...as it has always been written. But I want to know more about what I can do and how I will approach the issue. I could speak with Delphine or somebody who knows more information. Paarthurnax even...

I just wanted out.

* * *

The others exited the large door, while I had to squeeze myself out. I could see the skies of the Soul Cairn once more. Not something I wanted to see again but it was much better than inside that dreadful place.

We took a moment to collect ourselves and figure out our next move. Brynjolf sat down on the steps nearby while I shuffled along and laid myself down. Ugh...for all the power this gives me, it's really inconvenient and really awkward to manage.

"How's it going?" He asked me as I eventually got myself sorted. Being big and bulky will need some getting used to.

"I'll be fine, I think." I told him. I was trying to convince myself as well.

He smiled.

"Good to hear. So, uh...we're out now. So...I think it's safe to say we may be able to get out of her now?"

I shrugged. Sounded like a great idea.

"I think I want to investigate this place more." I heard Nemetona mention.

I tilted my head.

"You think that Prolg still roams on this plane?" I asked her.

"We still gotta find where that portion of your soul is. Where ever an Ideal Master is." Brynjolf mentioned.

Wait what? Brynjolf explained to me how, while he wore the Realm-Walker's ring that he had borrowed from me...on the Realm-Walker's request...somehow and that it protected him from the poisonous magic that caused pain as you would walk in her and Ayisha's position as Mane protected her as well, it was made as a suggestion from one of the Realm-Walker's servants that they had partially satisfied the Ideal Master's hunger with a portion of her soul taken away from her. Durnehviir had taught me about the Ideal Masters at one point when he found me. Nasty creatures, the lot of them.

Huh...strange daedric like magic that is...

"I've seen a few around. Durnehviir told me that getting close to them is dangerous. Their hunger exceeds them, meaning your life force is absorbed. I'll have a look." I told them. I hated being immortal, but at least I'm actually more sturdy as a being than any of them.

"I'll go with you." Neme announced.

"We'll all go. Petra, thanks for the offer, I'm not letting you fly around on your own." Brynjolf stated with his arms crossed.

I rolled my eyes.

"You guys didn't have to come all the way here to pick me up. I could at least, return the favour."

I watched him stand up and approach me, grabbing my head and looking deep into my eyes.

There's something interesting about what you can find. I had saved Bryn's life from his father and I was saddened by the prospect of not seeing him again, but saving his life was the last great feeling I held onto, alongside my love for him, before being cast into this hellhole.

And he handled me like I had changed at all. His concern for me, unwavering. I was a big hulk of a monster right now, but even so, he still made me feel human at least. I'm alive somewhat, though in between it at the moment. I'm certain I'm not undead. I don't stink like it, I may get hungry but I won't starve to death at least. My energies come from time itself yet it ignores me. I think...that's just an assumption of mine. I honestly don't know.

Even in this form, he made me back down a bit, the feeling of my big head in his hands. He wanted to give me one of his ol' pep talks. Okay, let's have it.

"You're being too modest there Petra. You know the world needs you now more than ever. I don't want to be selfish in saying that I need you too in some way shape or form. And as long as there is a way, I will never give up on you."

I think I was a bit teary after that. His dedication got a little bit too much sometimes.

"You know I won't live forever in the way you want me to. I desire to grow old and die like the rest of you. I am a nord at heart and no matter how many times I may change, that will always remain the same." I told him.

He smiled warmly...I embraced the warmth it gave me.

"Glad to hear it. I'm still content with the woman I'm looking at now."

Even the blushing is still the same. Gods damn it Bryn stop it.

"Yeah...okay...um...but I'd rather you hold me as you know me...human. I don't plan to stay like this forever...you know."

He chuckled.

"I know, I know. I don't know how many times I have to beat into your skull. But you know I still care about you."

I grumbled, then grinned.

"Yeah yeah, I love you too. Stop doing that..."

He then developed into a laugh and rubbed my forehead with his knuckles. I think he was making fun of me. Why I...hm...better not. I might accidentally scratch him or worse.

But, I suppose I better stretch those wings of mine. I'd enjoy escorting them across the open barrens. Not much to see, but it'll give me more confidence within myself. I tend to lose everything when I don't get much to control for myself. I really have to stop breaking down like that.

"Get your ass on my back. Get the others'. We'll find this Ideal Master and get your ma's...soul portion of them. Gods know how we're going to do that."

He nodded and made a devious smirk. GOODNESS BRYN I DID NOT MEAN IT LIKE THAT...you sicko...I wanted to smack him.. He called the other two over and explained the plan to them. Neme seemed to agree, Ayisha was over the moon for it. She liked dragon riding.

"Your flying carriage awaits m'lady." I told Ayisha as I lowered myself. Her giggles made me happy.

"Yay!"

She was the first to jump on my back, as Brynjolf helped her up, then helped Neme up too. This was probably more fun than I myself expected it to be.

"Hold on, this might...gah..."

I never ran the figures in my head on how awkward it would make it, since Ayisha was holding on my horns tightly. I had less nerves there, I think that was all bone anyway. I kill dragons for a living, or I am supposed to yet I have learned nothing from their anatomy. You'd figured I would check their bones often. Uhh...blame the phobia. Just...blame the phobia and don't ask questions, okay?

It took a couple of flaps and own self-centered positioning to get right. I am not meant for comfortable transport other than myself. Even so, I doubt this what Akatosh actually intended for me in the first place, let alone any Dragonborn created by Him. Oh well...

* * *

We flew across the skies, looking down upon the ruins of the Cairn's desolate nature. Nothing much to see. I wish I could head back to Tamriel. At least the views there would be much nicer. Although I would be subjected to dozens of arrows due to major miscommunications and that they don't know I'm not going to be a threat. Interesting.

"See anything down there lass?" Brynjolf asked me.

"Uhhh...just black buildings mostly. I'm considering the design aesthetic of this place wasn't quite as imaginable as you would think..." I told him.

"Huh...didn't take you for quite the artist there Petra." Brynjolf joked. However his mother seemed to agree.

"Planes of Oblivion tend to reflect the relationship it has with it's masters mind. But I agree, not much inspiration and thought into design. I think it's supposed to bring unity, but with all the lost souls here, I'm not going to bother describing the very reason it seems so outlandish."

Yeah that makes as much sense as having a tantrum and destroying the room. You're angry and you want everyone else to be just as pissed off. Logic!

Brynjolf just face-palmed. Being the only guy with a Cat, a dragon and his mother isn't exactly calling for a recipe of fun and sensibility.

We did eventually find Neme's soul, hiding underneath the giant soul gem like monsters floating in the air. Took a bit, but it was there. Neme was glad and I think Bryn was too.

I couldn't imagine being splintered like that. I wouldn't feel whole at all. And I can imagine feeling weaker with losing a possibly important aspect as yourself. I don't like the sacrifices made to my own well being when things like these come across, but I always recall fathers words and push on...

Uhh...hmm...speaking of...

Wait...

I looked down, seeing two souls together on a set of steps. Their...auras felt familiar.

Gods...Gods help me...

"Woah Petra. Hold up...what's wrong?" Brynjolf questioned. Yeah I forgot flying in one spot isn't exactly making it easy for them to hang on properly.

"Those two...those two souls...down there..." I muttered.

"Oh we me them earlier. They helped us find you." Nemetona mentioned.

I had to go down there, much to the others dismay. The souls seemed to shirk away from me as I landed, surprising them. Sorry!

I looked at them as their faces were written with fear. But their faces were clear to me now. I knew those faces looked familiar.

"Sorry bout that...lass just...lass?"

No...don't be afraid...I got a little closer.

"Get away!" The woman cried.

"No! Mother it's me!" I called out.

She seemed shocked to hear me speak, as my father stood in front of her in defense.

"What trickery is this? Is being sent here not good enough for you people?" As father scolded.

I shook my head. I had to make them see, even if I couldn't show them.

"No...father. It's...me...Petra..."

Mother started to cry. No...don't do that. Please don't. But father just got angrier.

"Our daughter is no dragon!" Father shouted.

Brynjolf stunned me as he stood beside me, glaring at my father. Although he must have figured it out before I said anything. I think. I don't know. But the souls before me. It was definitely them. It must be difficult for them to accept what I am...and explaining it would just make them more confused, upset and angry.

"You don't even see your daughter?" Brynjolf scolded.

"What? How is she my daughter? My daughter is in Skyrim right now." He announced.

"Why did you leave?" I asked, pleading. Instead he crossed his arms. I could feel such hate coming from him.

"We'd gotten word that dragons were coming back and I wanted to bring her home. The letters, the letters that she normally sent..."

Even as a dragon this brought tears to my eyes. Why...why didn't he believe me?

"I only stopped because I was going through some issues I'd rather you not know about. I've not exactly been the ideal daughter you expected me to be. I...I..."

Brynjolf placed his hand on my neck. I can't get any words out. My mouth's snapped shut and my throat tightened. I thought I got over that.

"You take her voice but you do not have our spirit. Our Petra went to Skyrim on a scholarship...she got invited to join the bards in Solitude."

What? Oh, I forgot about that little white lie. I shook my head.

"Ain't true father. I came here because I was told to come alone. I went to Helgen and almost died...and...and..."

Ayisha cuddled me. Bless her heart that was twice the size of her.

My head fell in shame and despair, Then Neme stood to my defense as well. Why must you guys do this for me?

"You're obviously not paying attention to what she is saying. Your daughter is Dragonborn and you birthed her body but not her spirit. She didn't come here willingly and if she could her soul would take her original form. I thought my own husband is bad enough but to not recognise your own child is disgraceful."

I didn't see that coming. But father seemed more angry.

"So...if you are my daughter, what is one of the things I taught you back home then...prove it...go on..."

I lifted my head, eyes pleading for to know. My jaw quivered.

"No one like's doing the dirty work, but it's often the most important job of all. Somebody has to do it." I managed to spit out eventually.

His eyes widened and brows lifting where they shouldn't be lifted to.

"Gods..."

I lifted my head up and made a weak smile, hoping that he would have now known who I was.

"Please...father..."

He stood back and took hold of mothers hand...and faded away.

No! Come back! I charged for them, but they had disappeared completely. I flew up...I need time alone...

* * *

I couldn't...why. Why didn't they just see me? Am I...have I changed that much? No...maybe. I'm not sure. Gods...I'm a monster...I didn't even have a mirror to see myself.

The others understand but that's because they know what's going on. To everyone else they're all going to jump on the bandwagon and fear me because, to my phobia, it was a normal reaction to it. I guess I just didn't expect that from my own mother and father. And it's outright distressing.

I wanted to be human again, get the whole damn thing over and done with.

This was what I was talking about. The whole barrier that split me apart from those I once associated myself with. It was dreadful. I wasn't meant for this. Not even close. Fate drags me around and I'm supposed to have control but I'm just a plaything.

Brynjolf of course found me. He always does as I sat above a nearby tower, overlooking the plains of uncertainty.

"I can't imagine how hard that was for you." He commented, rubbing my neck.

I sighed.

"I know you don't see me because your heart knows me, but...I thought they would have seen reason." I stated with sorrow.

I had to remember all those outside the circle who had no idea this was going on, let alone my parents. This was my fault. I shouldn't have stopped sending them letters. I could have made more lies to let them know I was alive and well, even though I had been...violated, hit, destroyed, killed, been a vampire...why would any parent want to think their child was nothing more but the perfect little girl they always wanted. I took dads lesson to heart even, but even so his actioms seemed more contradictory if anything.

"This was my fathers doing." Said Brynjolf with the touch of anger in his tone.

"Don't stress too much about your parents. They have most likely gone elsewhere but too scared and in disbelief. Give them time."

Yeah. Give them all the time. They're not going anywhere. And if something about this wasn't going to come quick, then time would run out everywhere.

"I'm prepared to do what's necessary Bryn...tell me what I need to do to back to the land of the living."

He nodded.

"Aye, but you're not going to like it."

He explained how the Realm-Walker gave him something called the Golden Soul Gem, that had the ability to store in unique souls like mine and be able to take it out of the realm to place it back within my real body. Thank Talos.

But another ritual requiring a Soul Gem I've never even heard of? I suppose if it's the Realm-Walker's doing and I semi-trust her...sort of. I'll take anything I can at this point.

"When ever you're ready lass...just say the word..." Brynjolf told me.

"If it's okay with you, I think I just want to lay with you for the moment before I go...I just want us to have the chance to be here together one last time before I go in that thing."

Brynjolf nodded.

"That's fine. But we are strapped for time."

Here I go already. Time-abusing again.

"If you want to I can."

Bryn raised his hand at me.

"Lass, it's not something any of us have done before. I want you to be okay when you're in there. Because I'll keep it close to my heart as I take you out. Your body is still at Fellnir and we're currently preserving in Stahlrim ores. Hopefully still okay for you go back."

I'm still stunned they went all the trouble to do this for me.

"Bryn...I..."

He kissed me on the forehead. Felt nice.

"Don't stress. Just let me lay with you."

I relaxed a bit as Brynjolf sat next to me and laid back, staring at my softened head. According to him it did seem a bit feminine in comparison to real dragons. Thanks Bryn...needed that.

But he rubbed my chin, which felt good. I felt dirty being his pet at the moment. Goodness those implications. But judging from the smiling expression he was donning, he couldn't give half a septim to care what anyone else thought. If he wanted me he could have me. But now we had plans to bring me back, I'll be glad to see him as equal mortals once more.

I desired to be on his level. I honestly thought that I was actually more intimidating, considering my parents reactions beforehand. And I just was a mess of those feelings of rejection. Never thought it'd be so harsh. But I guess when it's family, it's just a lot worse. And I never got to say a proper good bye...

I started crying again. But Brynjolf, the beautiful stubborn nord with the rugged face, the red-headed bastard, just effortlessly wiped the tears away...

"If only all dragons were as sweet as you." He joked.

I gave a weak smile.

"They wouldn't be killing everybody now would they?" I told him.

I just liked it when he touched me. Greatest feeling that I would never get enough of. And soon we would be together in the way we should be.

Thankfully, Brynjolf you are keeping my moral chain strong.


	65. Resurrection

**AN: I think we're long overdue for fluff. Here! Have! Also, the Realm-Walker, the Elf and the Mute...funny people don't you think?**

**Chapter 65 - Resurrection**

The lass took it pretty hard. To be seen as a monster. Even when you try to argue, the situation sounds too convulsed to make any sense at all. Their daughter was a dragon, but to explain every detail was crucial but I understand it would take time to get your head around. But she knows what to do now and looking at her now, she'll just bare it. As much as I wanted to blame her parents for their behavior, I can't do much about it until Petra wants to do something about it. Unfortunately we were running out of time.

Zoklotinhaar took control of the sealing process. He soul-trapped her as Ayisha took off the Amulet of Akatosh off her neck, turning her back into a dragon soul. She looked at one last time and the look her eyes was a whirlpool of fear but determination. She wanted to, even if she hated it. Who would in their right mind would even want to? With a type of gem no one has even heard of? I still thought it as suspicious, but the Realm-Walker seemed amiable enough, judging from Petra's descriptions and from so far, what I have seen from her. I'm sorry but I can't but feel cautious about magic in general, but beat that out of me when I see that it works. Even so, while I liked the Realm-Walker, there were still many disturbing implications about her.

She had come to peace with the terms. I didn't like it either, but the priest's told me a series of stories, as did Neme regarding the mysteries of the Soul Cairn. But now it was time to get out of here.

The Priest looked after the procedure and cast a spell on her. I watched as her soul was quickly absorbed into the Gem itself when it was all completed, the gem was more golden that it was ever before. I sensed her spirit within and held it close. I wouldn't want anything to happen to it on my terms. I felt a bit of her seep out, perhaps just...for reasons I could only make up, is her letting me know she was still there. Gods I sound pathetic.

I looked at Ayisha and Neme, who were ready to leave this dreadful place. I nodded and we made our way back to the entrance.

* * *

It goes to show the lengths people go to, just anyone, no one in particular, to go as far as to use impossible magics to ensure their own survival or just to use it to dominate and destroy enemies.

The Realm-Walker had given us a second chance, she'd twisted fate on it's head and jumped us further. Though, you think as Petra was, according to the woman, destined to die as one of many realities. The more I got it into my head, the more I was thinking on the logics and falsities of the notion of Petra's own resurrection. Proper, not transforming herself. Was she due to die? Shor knows my heart would be broken, but to break the laws of magic itself, I feel an oncoming consequence for doing so.

Saying that, many months ago I wouldn't have given any of it a second thought. If I knew it was going to be this much trouble, I would have taken myself and Petra down back to Cyrodiil in no time, to stay out of the horrors of the unknown. To a mage, they'd say this would have to many variables...no I'm pretty sure Neme said that in one of her tangents. Still, with every step crucial, I often wonder if we're doing the right thing.

There are facts and there are just the assumptions we cling on to because it's what makes us most comfortable. Then you start to think is this for the benefit for the world or for ourselves? Is there a fallback for our schemes? I don't know and I don't want to know. But I had to. It was necessary to avoid any pitfalls in the near future. I'm not a mage myself but as I have grown in my abilities thanks to the Priest it makes me feel the strangest sensations I would have never expected myself to bleed from. And here I was thinking it was because I was an Agent of Nocturnal. I was only partially right. But I hadn't known how much worse it had been for me.

I held Petra's gem close to my chest. Sentimental and corny I know. But emotionally wise, I honestly thought it would let her know I was still there. similar to what she was doing for me, but I have no clue whether or not it would do a damned thing. But you know what, I'd like to think it was bringing the both of us closer. As strange as it sounded.

I started to talk to her alongside Ayisha and Neme, to kill the silence. We started with casual conversation, to get it rolling. Neme thought it was, odd but nice and Ayisha just was as bouncy and cheerful as ever, but also concerned that whether her mama was in pain. I assured her she wasn't, or else we'd hear about it. She kept Petra's Amulet of Akatosh close, perhaps it would be needed again the future, but I trust Ayisha's instinct more than my own and she'll know what to do with it when the time came.

Keeping ourselves casual is a strenuous task, given, well, Petra as Dragonborn, Ayisha as Mane of the Khajiit and myself a descendant of Dragon Priests and Talos himself, you wonder how the three of us with such unique..ness ever came together in the first place. Petra told us about how Prolg was carrying an Elder Scroll, one that had recently come into existence according to him and wondered if that anything to do with the three of us. We're all special at least? While I see myself as normal in hindsight, I'm anything but. I still don't have a clue what's going on half the time. It makes the issues with Mercer look like a regular job.

In terms of my own personal emotional state, I was okay. Confused but stable. Don't know about Petra, but I think while she may have thrown around a lot lately, she's pulled through on each occasion. She's had it worse than me. Aye, she has said herself, she has been broken many times, but in the end she's got tougher armor than before...each mended and repaired and getting stronger.

I wouldn't want her problems wished on anyone, but she's remarkably a better person, despite those major put downs.

I'm probably am thinking ahead of myself, but I long to return to the normality and being content of maintaining the Guild. Adventures are tiring, some are fun but occasionally and in times like these, just mentally wracking. Here's to wishing for a prosperous future for us all...

* * *

We got out of the Cairn and it was an instant breath of fresh air. The volume of being back in Tamriel was more welcoming than it'd ever been. Karliah wandered up to me, wanting to know the latest.

"How did you go? Did you find her?" She asked me. She was more anxious than normal, though she had cared a lot about Petra too.

I nodded and pulled the golden soul gem out of my front pocket.

"Aye, got it right here. That Altmer still around?"

She nodded and ushered me over to Petra's body.

Wandering over there, she looked as peaceful as ever. The Altmer and the mute lass watched over her body with study. He turned to me, seeing the gem in my hand.

"Oh good! Good you're back AND have you have the soul gem. That's brilliant, I was worried for a moment there that you wouldn't have been able to pull it off. No, actually, my associate here thought that." The Elf announced. The mute lass just glared at him. A bit of tension there between the two. Funny.

"So...how do we go about this?" I asked him.

"The Realm-Walker mentioned before about breaking the crystal above her."

He nodded.

"Yes, yes...the soul should back to it's rightful place I assume. Let's see...anything else...uhh...love anything we need to be aware of?"

The lass stood next to him and, I didn't know what they doing, exchanging glances. I'm surprised he was actually, at least in my opinion, understanding her. I think.

"Oh..yeah...got to set up the barriers. Just make sure the soul doesn't end up going rogue. No one's fault...we've done this before and it just...likes getting messy...but we'll get it done for sure."

He assured us.

But as he said messy, I myself was wary of the whole idea. I had reason to doubt, but no one else had any better ideas.

The Elf set up a circular blue construct around us, to either to protect ourselves or everyone else. They'd seen what was going on and observed from a distance. Who knows what was going to happen. But if it was going to bring Petra back, I was willing to try.

The mute lass carefully adjusted Petra's body as she moved it out of the coffin, with the elf moving the coffin off the stone bed and the lass placing her carefully down with her hands resting on her chest. Still beautiful even in death.. The Elf turned to me again.

"Okay we're ready to go when you are. Just stand above and...just smash the gem to bits really. I may have said it was complicated...I actually meant I had to make sure we remembered the procedure. But don't worry! This is how it works! Definitely. Also, you may need this dagger. It's not enchanted, since anything enchanted may permanently damage the soul. Learned that the hard way."

I rolled my eyes. Don't make me feel any worse than I do lad...anyway. I looked a the dagger, elven of origin.

I held the gem in my hands. I wouldn't want this to go wrong, but past experiences made it seemingly so. And it was, for most part, for the Realm-Walker's words that dug into me deep as a blade, to see whether fate can still be changed.

But you see, The Dragonborn is supposed to make her own fate. Somehow. I had doubt, but then again, she can chose to do this. I wanted to think there wouldn't be any consequences for doing so, but logically, I can't help but think that way. I imagine myself, holding on to hope but it is dragged down by doubt covered with personal experiences.

This was necessary. Not because I loved her, but for everyone else who cared for her and the world that needed her alive. I just wanted to convince myself that this was for the good of the future and not for my own selfish needs.

I took a deep breath. I threw the gem up into the air and swung the dagger, shattering the gem to pieces.

A massive force of energy was barely contained inside within the barrier. He was right, it would be a struggle. However he and the mute lass used magic to focus the energies within Petra. Her soul ran rampant, probably not used to being like this.

Eventually, their struggles won it over, sending all remaining auras back into Petra's body. They puffed and panted, patting each others' backs and smiling. I think that's a sign that it might have worked?

I sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned over to look at Petra's face. It warmed slightly, becoming less pale. I touched her face, feeling a surge run through me.

Her eyes suddenly opened as she took huge gasps of air, straining to breath as her chest rose and fell at rapid intervals, thrashing violently. I held onto her hands as she took back her own reality and adjusted herself to the living once more. She flailed briefly as she tried to make sense of where she was. I took her into my arms and hugged her, trying to settle her down from the shock.

"I...I...I'm alive..." She wheezed. I rubbed her back. While it was nice to feel her when she was a dragon, this...was a bit less awkward. I was almost overwhelmed, but I can contain my excitement...mostly.

"You are lass, you are..." I whispered in her ear.

I had a grin from ear to ear, seeing Karliah come before us and sit down. The lass lifted her head up and let go of me, to hug the Dunmer.

"I love my job sometimes." The High Elf commented.

* * *

While this was all okay and I wanted to believe we were okay, it'd take time for Petra to readjust. She wasn't dead for that long, but...as I was told, death can change people. And Petra's experiences as that of a Vampire were not at all too dissimilar, but but to lose ones spirit entirely. It's torture.

But it was always good to see her back. My heart ached for her return and her just being there made me feel a lot better. She was smiling even and warmed me all over.

After taking the moment to collect herself once more, Karliah gathered us all up to determine what our next move would be. Petra explained what had happened and had called out of any ideas on the matter.

It was interesting to see all the members of the Guild making their own personal contributions. Most of them looked up to Petra a bit differently now, seeing her as an important figure in her own right. None of them were totally prepared for this sort of issue but they were setting aside for the sake of one of the own, which to me, is incredibly surprising, given their own self-centered desires and penchant of being total dicks.

None of them would completely understand the whole ordeal. Even I consider it to be almost as puzzling as it was. We were dealing with ancient mythological creatures, daedra and Gods here and magics considered never even dreamed of. According to Karliah, Paarthurnax had to return to the Throat of the World to watch over Skyrim and would let us know if anything came up. I still can't get over decent and reasonable dragons...

The Elf and the Mute Lass stood afar, observing on behalf of their master I presume. But we made do.

"You're in most of this Petra. Having taken what you told us into consideration, I'm needed back at the Guild to maintain order and to give a sense of normalcy to those who do not wish to be involved, but you do have access to our resources as you need them. I think Delvin wants to speak up about it. Delvin?" Karliah stated as any true Guildmaster would.

Delvin nodded.

"Though we have gained a foothold in the major holds, we also have connections with the Dark Brotherhood. I'll get in contact with Astrid and see if she's willing to lend us a hand." He stated.

Petra smiled. I personally wouldn't get them involved but we'll need all the help we can at this stage. We all knew it was getting too dangerous.

"That's fine with me Delvin. Much appreciated." She thanked.

Months ago she would brush it off, but I think she has a better love for living more than ever. Death may change you, but for Petra it would seem to make her have a better attitude for life instead of needlessly wanting to throw it away for stupid reasons.

I think it's safe to say everyone jumped as a violet orb appeared in the room, revealing a familiar face as they walked out.

"Realm-Walker?" Petra muttered. I almost forgot I still had the ring.

The lass's robes warped to red again for what ever reason, as did the robes of her servants that had previous shades of purple. No idea why.

She strutted towards us as her eyes lifted from the floor, to the direction to the group of thieves and numbskulls before her. Several of them made comments about her apparent beauty and hair, Vex wondering how she could get our face-sculptor to do that.

"You have done as requested. Support is crucial as the heart that needs it." She stated, her voice holding that strange, mystical authority.

"I will send most of you back to Riften now. Like Karliah has mentioned, Petra will need all the help she can get. Nothing like this is ever easy, but you have my full confidence. Even if my elven servant here doesn't look like it as such."

The Elf appeared offended.

"Hey! I contained the field this time!" He shouted.

The mute lass crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. I seriously believe she would have had to put up with this nonsense quite a bit. I could see Delphine, watching closely nearby approach Petra herself and have a little conversation.

"This...has been wild from start to finish. I was a bit worried there." She commented.

Petra smiled.

"I'm fine Delphine. Sorry to have caused much concern for everyone."

I've known Delphine myself for a while. She kept to herself mostly, but I knew her little secrets. She'd known Mercer as well, back in the day. I knew as one of the infamous Blades that the Thalmor were after. She'd come down to us one day, pleading for protection detail. Mercer had me handle the situation for her and surprisingly we'd become decent allies. What is it with me and protecting people? Comes to me more often than actually doing what I supposed to be doing. It's uncanny.

"Do you have a plan? I was going to see if if the Thalmor have any information regarding the dragons. If they're allied with Prolg, then it's best to sift through their documents and figure out where we stand."

Petra nodded.

"Okay then. I'll meet you back in Riverwood I presume."

Delphine nodded.

"Very same. When you're ready, come back to the inn. I'll have thought of something once you get there."

* * *

We said our goodbyes and thanks to the others for...well, being there and helping out I suppose. A lot of them I also suspect to have some kind of mental outlook adjustment. But they were all willing to help, and even Sapphire herself was going to pray to Nocturnal to give Petra the luck she needed.

We might be scum, but we're scum who stick together through the best and worst times. We're family where family never even existed.

The Realm-Walker sent the others on their way with a simple wave of her hand, smiling as they were transplanted back to Riften, as well as Delphine back to Riverwood. Then we suddenly found ourselves alone once more. Oh and Ayisha was still here. I forgot to mention over elated she was to have Petra back. Girls really taken such a liking to her as they hugged. Such a tender sight I wanted to punch myself in the face to feel manly again.

"So what's the go?" Petra asked the Realm-Walker.

The lass pondered with her arms crossed and a lot of impatient finger tapping.

"You're back. Which is good. I'm glad that worked." She stated.

I furrowed my brow.

"Wait, you weren't sure if it would?"

She smirked and brushed it off.

"Or course I was sure. However each realm has their little differences. I had to fine tune a few things. But I have told you before not to stress, we have it under control."

She pissed me off sometimes. I think she treated this like a game.

"Aye, so...what do we do?"

She looked at Petra.

"I believe Delphine already suggested it."

My lass rose an eyebrow.

"What? Seeing if the Thalmor were involved? This is about Prolg and Alduin? What in Oblivion does the Thalmor have to do with it?" Petra complained. I agreed. I saw the High Elf attempting to open his mouth, only for the mute to cover his face before he said anything legible. I groaned.

"Let him speak. I want to hear it." I told her outright. I'm tired of all the secrecy.

Except she gave a small chuckle. Ugh.

"I can push you in that direction, but I have to let events unfold as they should. All you have to be concerned with is that by following Delphine's lead, she's bound to start it off. Trust me on this. I know it's not much to sate your appetites but you will find out."

Honestly did not know what it was.

(Fate. She's letting fate take it's course.)

I was wondering where you were.

(I'd rather be isolating myself. I'll let you get back to it.)

"I think I want to go to High Hrothgar first. Speak with the Greybeards." Petra stated.

The Realm-Walker shrugged.

"By all means. Get yourselves sorted. Don't get angry with me because I'm not telling you everything. If I did, then you'd make the situation worse. I can tell you that you're better off doing it this way to make sure you have what you need. Trust your instinct. But I'll send you both ahead. Farewell!"

And with that, the three of us had been cast to the south, to the monastery once more.

* * *

Petra was insistent on speaking with Arngeir about the issue and so she did. She conversed with him, as Ayisha and I stood nearby. Of course, he didn't know much. She mentioned the Elder Scroll, and all he said is that he wouldn't be surprised that would even be involved as such, but...

Petra was notably tired. She'd exhausted herself. It was getting late and I wanted her to rest and to have a clear head in the morning. The Greybeards offered beds to us, as it had been a very long few days for all of us. I gave her back her ring, which amused her for some reason. But it was given to her after all.

We laid on separate beds, since they didn't really have double beds, but we slept nonetheless. We kissed each other goodnight, albeit Petra just felt a bit off. It was good to have her back, but I sense she's just tense at the moment.

Although I did wake up in the middle of the night to see that she had gotten out of bed. I looked around as Ayisha was still awake and in the middle of reading.

"Ayisha, you seen mama lass?" I asked her.

She smiled.

"Mama went up to the top to see Paarthurnax. Mama wasn't sleeping very well." She answered.

In the middle of the night?

(The road to the top of treacherous. I'll fly up if you want)

That would very kind of you priest...

I took Ayisha with me as Zoklot summoned the raven wings from the armour of his I was still wearing, but I had placed a robe around it, hiding sigils and so forth. Arngeir didn't question it previously, though he had suspected it as such. I'd gotten to the top, holding the Khajiit in my arms and saw a word wall. I wandered around, feeling a strange aura about the place. The night was calm and the sky was clear with emerald auroras floating about. I could see Paarthurnax laying there, looking upwards. I let Ayisha go as we walked over to him.

"Petra around?" I asked.

He looked at me and smirked. He lifted his wing, and I saw Petra laying down underneath it on her bed role. She looked more content there as the dragon blanketed her. I suppose...it made it easier for her? Heh...the very fear that comforted her. It was a nice contrast. Amusing.

I let Ayisha take her spot as she wriggled herself into Petra's arms. Petra must have been woken or half-asleep as she adjusted herself. It really was an amusing sight.

I wandered over as well and laid behind her, putting my arm around her and cuddling her from behind, kissing her on the back of her head. She adjusted again, grabbing my hand and holding tightly.

Thankfully, we didn't need to blanket to warm us as Paarthurnax lowered his wing.


	66. No Reason

**AN: And here's Petra chapter and we return to the Laaglein again...and she discovers something interesting. Read on!**

**Chapter 66**

**No Reason**

My eyes hide behind a few bangs of hair that never seem to fit into my ponytail properly.

Just like not matter how hard you try, you can't conceal everything.

I'm a closed book with a title on my face, author on my lips and blurb on the back. Even if you don't tell them everything, they're going to know what you're about by reading you briefly.

I'm not aiming for perfection or rave reviews. Frankly I'd rather people not read me at all. But Brynjolf was interested. The Realm-Walker was interested. Delphine, Arngeir and Paarthurnax were interested. Might as well add Durnehviir to the raw crowd of people, whom were able to understand the language I was written in. And don't mind the imperfections that lay within.

You can't judge someone from what they are and what they look like, but what they do. For some reason, I've compelled people to care. Not that I wanted them to in the first place, I do appreciate their concerns, even when they might just be over the top.

I read Brynjolf all the same. Sort of. I'd like to think I could. But I was right in predicted that he'd come up to the top and find me sleeping underneath Paarthurnax wing. I was hoping to get back to the Laaglein on my own and collect my thoughts.

I was originally seated in some other part of the realm. Peaceful nonetheless. Resembled the interior of the Golden Soul Gem, since that was the only place of note that was isolated and quiet. Not a bad thing but...

Inside the Gem itself, like where I am in the Laaglein, is postively glowing in strange glowing energies. It had the look of ice, but of a yellow hue. Crystals floated everywhere in bizarre shapes and sizes, but beyond that, everything in the skies was blurred and distant, no roof or sky to be seen.

But the platforms for which I meditated were similar shapes, tiles like octagons. Still had that icy golden glow to those as well. Not much to describe really, but the mystical founts for which it poured out and the cavern like form it took. You could stand on the edge and see on forever...or more floating crystals...that sort of thing. Most of the octagonal towers peered up from below, like mountains. Some were connected by bridges others you had to make your own way there. It was peaceful enough, hearing the sweet chimes on a low frequencies that just made it more pleasant and tingly.

To be alone here...was comforting somewhat. I knew where I was and can leave at any time, but...it allowed my thoughts to traverse here and there. To manage myself as to what had happened in the Soul Cairn.

I had felt death and the life-changing transformation into a dragon. Life, death...everything in between. An oddity that I had been pushed around for goodness knows how long. I've been battered and brused many times but...when I was stabbed one last time, and for some reason it's always underneath my left breast, that split moment...from life to death and your mind is thrown around trying cling onto your spirit. But it's that emptiness in between that is the scariest part.

I am in physical form once more, but...I can't help but think of what was left behind. I died and was brought back but a piece of me was either missing, or it's something else. I didn't want to know.

* * *

I was visited by Hahnubopraan who perched himself on a nearby tower, skinny thing that gravity simply did not exist for. He stared at me briefly with a studying intention, obviously noticing me in such a strange place.

"Dovahkiin, your presence had made some us unnerved." He told me.

I should have known. Things never stay the same.

"Perhaps I should have stayed dead." I said sarcastically.

"On the contrary. We felt your transformations within the Soul Cairn. Your mind intertwined with the Laaglein. Your dragon spirit...it became a Jen Dovah didn't it?"

I looked up at him.

"Yeah...I guess so. Is that a significance to you?"

"Jen Dovah are guardians of the Laaglein. We once served Alduin. Some still do. But we're the ones maintaining the dream realm with honour for what it means to us, rather to what Alduin proposed we do...destroy the minds that enter so that our foes may be weakened."

That was disturbing.

"So, wait...were you created because or by Alduin or..."

Hahnubropraan shook his head.

"Jen Dovah are children of Akatosh like you. Upon creation, all dovah were shades of amethyst. We were new to the world and were meant to protect it and time itself. Alduin himself was once like us."

And that was...surprising.

"So what forced the changes?" I queried.

"Most Dovah evolved or were...changed after Alduin had come across a Kel, or...Elder Scroll."

Now that wasn't out Alduin's power if I knew him well enough.

"We remember what most dov don't. We were ancient protectors of the land, tenders to time and to make sure it flowed ever onward. An Elder Scroll had warped Alduin and transformed him into a God."

This sounds awfully familiar from the stories around the Nerevarine's time.

"So...I take it he got majority of the dragons the powers they needed? That's what they follow him?"

I asked.

"There's that. And that he was first born. Heir to lead our brethren in the eternities we were burdened with. Your spirit happens to be the raw energy that the dov once possessed. Most of it was forsaken when Alduin took lead."

I crossed my arms and contemplated. So I had more knowledge about Dragons that few would ever know.

"We remain in the great sleep to honour our duties. To watch over time like we were supposed to. Some of the Jen Dovah who opposed to Alduin's revolution were slain. Once he was cast on the currents and came back, some of them submitted their allegiances to ensure their lives would be spared."

I was also trying to think of Alduin as a purple dragon. Interesting. But a previous discussion with Prolg reminded me of the Elder Scroll he possessed.

"Tell me something...the guy we're after, some maniac from the Cult of Slaughter, showed off an Elder Scroll to me, said it was going to force me to change. I'd become a dragon, but obviously not the one he wanted. He stated I needed to cut off ties with Nocturnal...since Stendarr would most likely not accept me due to that. Would that have anything to do with the Elder Scroll you mentioned."

He lowered his head.

"Hmm...so the Divine Elder Scroll makes it's return in the end of ages...it's plausible."

I rose an eyebrow. Something didn't make sense.

"So, they have this Elder Scroll that corrupted Alduin and now they want to corrupt me with it. What gives?"

Hahnubopraan appeared distant and unsure.

"Alduin is indeed a mighty dovah. He used the scroll to allow him to resurrect dead Dovah and perhaps a whole range of abilities we don't know about. "

Logic be damned.

"But..wouldn't he want to use the Scroll on himself and not me? It is a Divine scroll...I would make myself invincible with that. But they wanted me as a dragon because Alduin demanded it. I'm trying to wrap my head around it."

He nodded.

"Other dov would tell you the scroll turned him mad. You're lucky to find Paarthurnax a reasonable figure. The others are just as warped as Alduin himself."

But...still...

"Why wouldn't Alduin want to face me like that is my real question. Wouldn't it just be easier to kill me now? I haven't seen him in months and yet his name is spoken all the time. Where is he?"

Hahnubopraan looked conflicted and guilty. Oh Gods, what now?

"Alduin plots and plans constantly, but he also comes here to find like-minded beings. Or he'll consume them. A lot more live spirits here than in Sovngarde. Or...no...more strong ones he believes will consume their strength as well."

I gulped.

"Oh crap..."

"No need to be concerned, Dovahkiin. He cannot reach us here. The Laaglein is cast with the likelihood of him finding you is slim. But his journey for destruction has made him hungry. He will come between here and Sovngarde, as well as Skyrim to resurrect a dragon once in a while."

I sighed. Fantastic...really.

"If Alduin wants me he just has to come and get me. I want to pay him back Helgen."

He nodded.

"You are eager I see. Hmm...I cannot tell you where he is. But I recommend not fighting him here. Too much instability would destroy the both of you and time itself would most likely collapse."

Always an obstacle. Always.

"Well thank you general impracticality. But...do you think I'll have to cut ties with Nocturnal to do what he wanted."

Hahnubopraan shrugged.

"I am not sure. Krosis. I have not seen the procedure, as it would have offended our father for these unholy transformations of our people. But I am aware it has implications of the Laaglein and the Currents of Time that it protects."

So...what did it...huh?

"Wait, so the dream world protects the timestream? How?" I asked, curious and considerably confused.

"The Laaglein is the wall between worlds. It's instability in structure, allows worlds to link with one another. As well as the time streams that exist."

That would...sort of explain the Realm-Walker but...

"So the Elder Scroll discriminates because Nocturnal is part of Oblivion, an unnatural sort of realm the Laaglein wouldn't be associated with?" I wondered, just taking a jab.

"The realms of Oblivion are always forever linked with Tamriel and the rest of Nirn. But this isn't to do with that..I might suggest it's a Gods decision. They simply won't do it. Maybe they see it as a challenge, I cannot say. If you can avoid it then you'll deny Alduin his chance. However, I would sense his impatience on the matter and create collateral damage until you found him"

I was afraid of that.

"It is my destiny to slay him. The world would be doomed either way, if I refused or if I died. But...if he fought me like I was now, of fragile, mortal flesh, wouldn't it be easier?"

Hahnubopraan became uneased.

"Alduin has always been the odd brother in his tactics and ways to proceed and always hard to read. He knows you have slain those from down below. Paarthurnax knows more about that than I."

I nodded.

"Okay that would make sense if he knew. I'm just trying to find out why?"

The Dragon nodded.

"If I were you I would just kill him and not worry about the rest, lest your mind implode from an overload of illogicality and impossibilities. You need to get what needs to be done. It is up to you how you approach Alduin. Either way, you must be destined to succeed somehow."

I rose an eyebrow.

"If I were to die though?"

Hahnu blinked.

"You have already died before. The world itself would have find a way, although it may not be in a way you would either expect, or even like. So...get it done, before it's too late to change anything..."

* * *

I woke up that morning, feeling Bryn behind me as he cuddled me. Ayisha had disappeared. She wouldn't have gone far. I liked the warm feeling of him being there, the benefits of being one of the living again.

I had thought about his words greatly. The Elder Scroll that can take you to Godhood. Imagine the real power. But I'm still trying to think why he wanted me to be a dragon to fight him. He already had a huge ego. There may be a thousand guesses, but none of them would be right.

It made me think of when Brynjolf suggested the reasons why the Gods chose me to be Dragonborn. A very similar situation. I am destined to it because they knew I would make the right choice in the end.

Maybe that choice was to decide how were going to do it. Didn't matter why. It just had to happen.

As mortal you would want to know reasons for actions but...I would rather my head not explode any further.

I shuffled myself around and placed my arm around Brynjolf. He pulled me in closer and made a grumpy groan. I grinned at him trying to get decent sleep. If this were any other day and at another place with just us two, I would begin inevitably teasing him. Why? Does there need to be a reason?

I wanted to convince myself to not be obsessed with reasons, since the evidence is there already about what was going to happen eventually. It would basically continue to bog me down as is. You would say to think about your actions and their corresponding consequences but even so, you know what the consequences are anyway. Because that's your intended action in the first place. For some people.

They would have a goal in mind for sure, conscious, subconscious. What ever. I would continue to follow the leads because that's what I had, not to investigate why. I had to trust what ever came my way and only question it if necessary. I'd fall back into the habit but if it helps prevent hesitation then so be it.

I kissed Brynjolf with soft, supple lips, trying to give him a pleasant thought in his head. Instead, he responded with his own, trying to beat me at my own game.

"You always make for a good start to the morning." He muttered as I felt his grin.

I bit my lip.

"You always make for a good sight to see. You always make interesting faces as you sleep."

He was annoyed by that as he scowled.

"I do not lass."

I chuckled and gave him another peck.

"What ever you say, lord grumpy."

He gave me a playful glare before giving me a rougher kiss. It was a bit arousing and I would certainly love to play around but sadly, not at this stage.

"Gentle, gentle..." I told him.

He just chuckled and grinned.

"Sorry lass. Just really glad to have you back."

We shuffled ourselves out from underneath Paarthurnax's wing, who greeted us as we made ourselves known. Ayisha was busy meditating, legs crossed as she sat by the edge of the mountain. I'd rather not her sit there but she wasn't clumsy for her age.

The skies were clear enough to see Whiterun down below. I had a feeling it wouldn't be long until we'd journey there again. But up here just positively breathtaking and not because of the very image of my red-headed bastard. Brynjolf and I stood next to each other, looking downwards.

"We'd better get back to work then eh?" Brynjolf questioned.

I agreed.

"You're right. Let's go see Delphine."

And thankfully hoping there wouldn't be any incident on the way there.


	67. Punishment

**AN: Be wary this chapter is pretty graphic. Just letting you know now.**

**Chapter 67**

**Punishment**

We got to Riverwood relatively quickly. The lass herself was eager to get this over and done with. It makes me happy to see fire in her heart. It's been quenched so many times but she'll relight it again in no time. Me? I was...overwhelmed with guilt. I wasn't strong enough for her. And I let her down greatly. That's not a thing a man does to her woman, is break that unique bond of love and trust you don't share with anyone else. She accepted me back without hesitation. It gave me a chance to try again and make sure I was strong enough this time.

I feel bad myself for forcing her to save me. Although I am grateful, it's not something I ever want to force upon her. She's not fragile, just vulnerable. She's not a thing, but a living creature, and living creatures can heal. Wounds never disappear but she's living proof of her tenacity.

She seemed cheerful enough, though that wouldn't be the right word to use. It's more of a lively sort of attitude she had, ultimately serious with her head up.

I'm usually like that. Normally am. I always had my head up during the Guild's darker days. Because people are able to snuff out the lack of confidence that way. Some days were easy, others took effort to fake. But lately it was mostly about finding sense within myself again and dealing with the troubles that laid ahead.

As Petra, Ayisha headed towards Riverwood, we'd remained ourselves and gave off the air of confidence. We didn't actually know what was going to happen just yet but we knew we'd give it a try and take on the challenges that it brought. That wasn't the issue. It was just absorbing loads of information about ourselves and about the world we live in. The darker corners of life itself that man was not meant to know.

We'd been exposed to many, many alarming subjects over the past couple of months. And we'd felt the impact of it more than it was necessary. We're alive at least, but some parts there queried that and left us alone to deal with it. We've had help of course, but more often than not it required us to act on instinct.

Meaning, dealing with unforeseen magics and just the general crap the Guild's dealt with since Mercer's atrocities. Not that it mattered now it happened and at this rate it wasn't going to stop now. But as I said, we'll take it as it comes...

* * *

Delphine welcomed us into her tavern and took us downstairs to her little shelter. Delvin organized that for her. Look homely enough, I guess. But enough to plan operations. But as a Blade, Delphine is more subject to scrutiny and is hunted by the Thalmor constantly. I wouldn't put it past her if she and Karliah exchanged tips on how to hide. But Karliah's would have been a lot harder, considering the Guild has many contacts and if she made a wrong move then she would have been caught. With good reason.

The Breton lass had arranged for Petra to go the Thalmor Embassy in the north west. I wasn't happy about it, obviously. To speak with some Bosmer called Malborn. The plan was to get inside the Embassy to find possible records. Petra was a bit annoyed about having to do it. Nobody liked the Thalmor but this should be the least of concerns. Well, she should take it seriously for the moment and worry about that part later.

My only concern was Maven. She was well connected with the Empire and by extension, the Thalmor. If she snuffed Petra out it would be an issue. I highly doubt it, since she would consider Petra is considered a valuable asset to the Blackbriar Family. At least, I would think so by now for all the trouble she went through to deal with Goldenglow and Honningbrew.

But other than that, if Petra pulled it off then with no doubt would she able to get on top of it in no time. She's an expert sneak.

Because of my connections with Maven and that it wouldn't be the first time that the Thalmor had visited the Ratway, me being there would be a dead giveaway to what we were up to. Petra would be on her own. She understood that completely. I keep forgetting that while she complained about the Thalmor, she took this as any other job. An order. Those that she follows quite well. So who was I to get in her way?

We took our horses to Solitude to meet up with this Malborn at the Winking Skeever, who took the stuff she needed to smuggle inside. She nodded, giving the rather, paranoid wood elf her gear and acknowledging the task ahead. He took her things and made his way to the Embassy.

She felt lost without her precious weaponry as it was whisked away, leaving her with not much else other than her normal armour and so forth. We were to meet Delphine in the morning, as this so called party, had been arranged around noon.

Ayisha was quite disappointed she couldn't come with us. She remained with Delphine. I think Petra was quite anxious to be separated from her, but we both knew it would be for the best. I'd catch up with them at first, then keep my distance from the Embassy to keep an eye on progress just in case anything went south.

We rented a room out at the inn and settled ourselves in there. It'd been a long day of planning and plotting. Neither of us knew what we would find, but I'll remain complacent, then wait and see what Petra would bring out. We had something to eat and headed upstairs to rest.

"I'm trying to think what the Realm-Walker and Delphine herself wonder why that the Thalmor have anything to do with the Dragons returning? It's Alduin...simple as that." Petra noted.

I nodded. We laid on the bed together and just looked up the roof with our hands behind our heads. It was more comfortable, but you couldn't beat looking up at the stars. Now that's just really corny. Apologies.

"Aye, could be anything. They've always been on peoples nerves and punish anyone harshly for worshiping Talos. Father explained that it was for religious reasons, the High Elves believing a man can't ascend to become a God. I wonder if that's true."

Petra rubbed her chin.

"I spoke with Hahnubopraan last night. He said Alduin used an Elder Scroll to make himself and other dragons powerful. Maybe it's got something to do with that. Do you think Tiber Septim used that very scroll himself to become Talos the God?" She wondered.

I really didn't know. None of the lessons father taught me, nor any of the books I read, even suggested that. But, if some Amethyst Dragon said it was, then they may be our most valuable resource. I was surprised she'd met him. Then again, I wasn't.

"Dunno, might have been some attempt to glorify him to where he ascended, but I wouldn't put past that if the Dragons used it once before."

She agreed.

"True. They're always looking for excuses the make them all seem high and mighty."

I chuckled.

"Yeah they'll do that."

She shifted to her side and looked at me with a smile. It was something that warm and inviting. I missed that.

"Makes you think though doesn't it? I mean an Elder Scroll that makes you into a God? If that's in existence, were all the Gods turned this way? I mean, it's a possibility."

I know the main story that's agreed upon with the origin of Mundus and Nirn like the common populace, but...I've seen crazier.

"I wouldn't put much thought into it. It'd drive you mad otherwise." I warned her.

She smirked and walked two of her fingers on my chest.

"You drive me mad Bryn..."

I couldn't tell if she was being serious or not.

"Uhh...well...sorry. I really am."

She patted my chest. I really was sorry.

"I'm not blaming you for anything. I'll blame Prolg and Alduin and everyone else who put us into this mess. I know you truly wouldn't want to hurt me." She told me.

I felt so undeserving of her love and trust. She looked at me with those eyes, pleading me to relax and take comfort that she still loved me. I wanted to keep her. I still had my Amulet of Mara with me somewhere, but I had to find the appropriate time to tell her. I wouldn't want to burden her with all that nonsense. I wanted to wait for a bit. See how things turn out first.

I wanted to relax, then I think about the uncertainty of our futures...and where they would lead us.

She adjusted herself again, much to my chagrin and put herself on top of me. She gave me a cheeky grin before kissing me. And it was one of those long, paced kisses. I enjoyed those.

But then I thought about the big one in my head and worried if he was going to be traumatized by all this. You still there Priest?

(Don't mind me. I'm sheltering enough here. My spirit is elsewhere trust me.)

You sure? I actually don't want you to interfere either. Promise me that.

(This is your body after all.)

Now that that's out of the way, the way that Petra breathed through her nose heavily and brushed against my face was kind of cute. I sifted a hand through her hair and the other on her back. She tasted the same as before, sweet from mead and from tonight's dinner that consisted of well cooked beef and vegetables.

We were gentle with one another for the moment, feeling warmer in my heart, head and groin. My hand slid down her back and then gripped one of her cheeks. I then felt her smile as we continued to kiss. You think you'd get used to it, but you don't. Each separate feeling distinct and highly enjoyable.

We both removed the top parts of our armour with a bit of difficulty, but we got there eventually then resumed to kiss each other senseless. My hand went back to her hair, wanting to take it out of it's pony tail.

"Go on..." She muttered.

I had the honor of grabbing the hair tie and putting it on the side table. I liked watching her hair fall down past her shoulders. I feel like the only person to see that, a part of her she was not afraid to show me. It wasn't the first nor would it be the last (I hope) but I am still forever blessed to be by her side, through thick and thin.

The past few days were behind us and nothing could bore me of those horrible memories and the very raw feeling of her dying. And it was my fault no matter what Petra might claim.

I wanted her to be mad, I wanted her to hit me and yell and scream because that way I'll see that she's rightfully angry for what I had done.

She rubbed her crotch against mine, with the awkward bits of our leather pants getting in the way. I went to go take them off before she slapped me.

"What's wrong lass?" I asked her. Damn it, it was pleading for escape and proper skin-to-skin touches.

But she bit her lip, staring at me as she sat up with her hands on my chest. She started to rub me with her splayed hands. I whimpered like damned fool. By Shor Petra, what were you up to?

"Nothing. Except...I know within yourself that you deserved to be punished. I personally don't, but at the moment you're...so tensed up with it that I've decided you want to be punished." She said with sultry in her tone.

My face reddened, but, I smiled. This sounded more interesting than I had imagined. My own guilty conscience must have been showing. No matter. This sent ripples through me anyway, the way she worded it.

"I am at your mercy lass." I joked.

She chuckled and gave off a seductive and devious grin.

"Good."

She took off her pants, and remaining bra and underwear, leaving herself exposed on top of me. I wanted to kiss her all over. I wanted to touch her all over. But...she had somehow gotten leather from the drawers nearby. Had she planned this? Anyway, she had gotten up and tied my arms and legs to the bed. Gods...seriously Petra? It made more aroused than nervous. But it was something different I suppose...

She then sat back on top of me, her knees on the sides of my hips. She sucked on her fingers. My eyes were fixated on how much saliva was draped around her index and middle fingers. How in Dibella's name did she manage to make that so attractive?

She trailed her fingers down her chest, past her stomach and around the patch of her...ahem...self. She began to stroke, where I had stroked once before, causing her to bite her lip to withhold her moans. Her breath hitched as she went agonizingly slow. Damn it Petra...I watched her, knowing that I longed for the same burning feeling but...this was part of the punishment. The denial of the pleasure and hunger that is desperate to be sated.

Not long after she slipped her fingers within and began to work their magic. Her body jumped slightly with each curl she made. I had been in there and she was denying my chance to do so again.

"Lass...that's awfully selfish of you..." I muttered. My cursed manhood was beginning to throb uncomfortably underneath my pants.

"Awww what a pity." She said sarcastically, laughing after.

She kept going, faster and faster...then...stopped.

I looked up at her strangely.

"Now what?" I asked her.

She took her fingers out of herself, even though she appeared closer to climax that I thought.

"You're enjoying that too much. And you ask too many questions. I have a way around that."

She slid herself forward, kissing me briefly, then biting my lip. I grunted. Seriously...what...

Oh...

"You're going to finish that off for me, understand?" She asked me. Though, I think she meant it to be if it was okay if I did so. I wouldn't mind.

"Aye lass...I would be honored to." I told her, my eyes looking up at hers with empowered lust.

She chuckled.

"Good."

There was something different about this one though. Inevitably dark and mischievous and that's the way we liked it apparently. I wanted to grab her ass and push it towards me, but she made all the arrangements herself, sitting on my face as I tasted her inside. She thrashed above me, grabbing hold of what ever should could so she could sit up straight. Heh...when I'm done with her, she probably won't be sitting up for a while. Gods that sounds so...

"Yes...good...good..." She muttered, moaning in between.

And with all this...denial was making me ache and leaving my needs unwanted. It needed to be tended to, but it just was incredibly painful. Wouldn't have thought this was actually punishment...but...by Gods it was...leaving it throbbing in agony like that was almost too cruel to bear.

She started to shake I felt the waves of her explosion nearing, as her moans got a bit louder by the moment and it was just making my desires much worse. Petra...so...damned...cruel.

"Bryn...Gods...yes..." She continued. She'd fall over and I would catch her if my damn hands weren't tied. But she managed.

I licked and suckled and tasted nearly everywhere inside of her and it was giving her everything she wanted right now. I swear she laughed a few times because my beard was tickling her. And it was nice to hear her giggle like that. I also, by instinct, attempted to move my hands because they too desired to skim across her pale and scarred skin. I wanted to feel those wounds beneath me and give them all the love they never had.

She gave off a huge moan as she released herself to me, allowing me to lap up what ever fluids she let go off. Interesting taste, sweeter than the mead you might say. She moved back, puffing and panting, placing her wobbling hands on my chest as she regained herself. She looked at me as I licked my lips.

"Was that supper? Because that's the best prison food I've ever had. Best food period." I mocked, trying to get on her nerves.

She laughed.

"Oh Brynjolf, Brynjolf, Brynjolf...always the charmer. I was worried it was undercooked."

"In my opinion you needed a bigger spoon. My little tea spoon only stirs so much." I told her with a type of articulated sophistication. When did we go from prison trash to high nobility lifestyles?

She snorted and giggled, her face going beat red as her face was twisted with humour.

"Oh? So your bigger...spoon...I'd say it's still in the drawer. Did you want me to have a look?"

This was all a game to her. But it was fun nonetheless. It was good to see this devious, more playful side we had to contain because of...you know.

"Yes...Gods yes please..." I groaned. Finally.

She nodded and grinned. She took off part of it, but the way she was doing it very slowly was extremely irritating. She was doing it on purpose of course but Gods...

She laid on down on my legs, her little petite body somehow managed to fit there. She grabbed my member and I winced, sending jolts through me, her index finger running up and down and tapping the top of few times, making me hiss.

She delighted in playing with it, that's for sure, moving it around in her hands like that. She slapped my stomach every time I wanted thrust through her hands. She shook her head at me.

"Nuh uh uh...I'm just searching for hidden items. Seems I found a long shiv."

Goodness lass...you make me blush too much.

"So no spoon, but a weapon?" I said, acting innocent.

She pouted.

"No...well, it's not sharp enough to hurt me that's for sure. Digs deep well enough." She joked, before snorting. She was laughing at her own jokes, I was just admiring her handiwork and rolling my eyes, smiling at the same time."

"Aye...what are you going to do about it then?" I questioned, wanting to see where she was going.

"I admire the taste of refined weaponry, but I suppose this will do."

I blinked and went wide eyed as she started licking it and moaning as she smiled. I was losing it, the hot wet tongue of hers leaving trails around my member.

"Oh...Petra..." I croaked. I then watched her nearly swallow the whole damn thing and suck it.

Gods know why...but...it was so...nice. I don't know if what we're doing is considered reasonably dirty. But...I then say it's for our own amusement. How long do we have until we're able to do something like this again? To experiment...nothing wrong with that is there? If there is, then I honestly don't care. The metaphors were extremely pointless but pretty funny even if they didn't make such sense.

I felt the orgasm coming on as Petra sped herself up. I puffed, panted and sweated from every pore on my body. My muscles contracted and released with my breath that beckoned. She then slowed down. Damn it Petra what are you...

She moved back, taking it over her mouth...while I was so close to coming. Goodness...I tend to forget I'm being punished.

"So...maybe I am being a little bit...selfish...I'm the Dragonborn. I think I deserve a lot better don't you think?" She said with a the hint of something more. But it sounded so...confident, evidence of her self-esteem. She may not have been serious but to hear her say that...

"Yes lass...you...you deserve a lot more. You deserve a lot more than me, who's tried to kill you and-"

She leaned over and kissed me hard so I would shut up.

"That's not what I meant. I deserve to have you and all of you. And the world wants to take that away from me."

She slithered back, and sat up, taking my aching member, still erect, into herself as she bit her lip, sliding down at a steady rate. She gasped doing so, as I felt her clasp around me as I got deeper.

I smiled.

"So wouldn't the world need to be punished?" I asked, just curious and not being serious at the same time.

"No...just the ones who insist on causing us harm. I...I want..."

She started going up at down, sending waves of pleasure through me and herself, causing her to cry out.

"What do you want lass?" I asked...gods...I started to lose breath again as I was near breaking point again.

Her face became twisted with something fierce and I was incredibly...Gods...so...just so _hot._..

"I..._ngggh_...I _want._.._ahhh_..."

I wanted to hold her so bad. She was taking this on herself. She wanted to take hold and be in control. I couldn't help with the instinctive thrusts, but she slapped me again. It was erotic to see so desperate to take control, but it also worried me. I tried to resist movement, just to let her have this for herself. It was obvious to me now she was releasing steam for earlier. Wanting to let go of all of her concerns.

"N_ggh_...Petra...you...YOU...can have all of me...I just want all...ALL...ugh...of you in return...or am..._ngghhhh_ is...is that impossible?" I asked her feeling her clench tighter around me. I wanted to come, but I wanted to let her speak as well, as I held back as much as I could.

She stopped briefly as her eyes locked with mine, filled with so much lust and desperation. But I could see...her behind those beautiful things. She was tired...tired of the pain and the loss from it all.

"Bryn...I've always been yours since...ahhh...day one...you...you took me...nggghh in..."

She threw her mouth on mine once more as I absorbed the heat radiating from her mouth. I wanted to hold her and to tell her...but I believe in self-assertion. She had to do this herself.

From here I admired her body, the way it was carved from the Gods, the lovely, subtle breasts...I never got bored looking at it. We have claimed one another, but I didn't want Petra to think for one second that I was using her at all. No...

"Then I...I'll...oh Gods, Petra...gah...I'm with you...all the way..." I gasped out, nodding for affirmation.

She gave a sweet smile. I liked all of her smiles. But this was becoming Oblivion to bare for much longer. Our breaths quickened as we puffed and our pace heightened. I felt Petra cling around me one last time...and I knew...

"Go...go..." She sputtered out...in the midst of her orgasm.

I had bitten my lip the entire time to repress, but...now I had her permission and finally let myself release...

The both of us laid in these incredible positions, crying out loudly that I feared other people would hear us. But Petra didn't seem to care. I had much relief, but was beckoned by the fires of passion that swarmed us, the heat that sent waves throughout our bodies. Petra soon came back from her throes of pleasure, and then unclipped the straps on my wrists and legs

I embraced her as we shared the downturn of our emotional peaks, throwing my arms around her as she laid on top of me, gasping for air. I was the same as I grabbed her head and kissed her forehead...and waited until we had settled properly...

If I had known she was stressed to the max about it all. I would have offered it myself. But Petra's been thrown around a lot lately, against her will. Plus, I had the best punishment a man could ask for.

Our breathing had returned to normal as Petra's head lay nestled in my neck, her breath, warm, was always a pleasant feeling. She had taken control and I had let her. I think it may scare her sometimes...she kills dragons aye, but tends to lose herself inside the anger and fury as she battled them. To win was to throw away her humanity in order to do what was necessary.

Even I ,at times, will have lost it because of the pain that these things just cause. I'm more confident in my own self, even after the priest's presence and made me plan out my own future because I know it's not going to be the same now.

"I wonder how Ayisha's doing." Was one of her first questions.

I looked up at the ceiling again.

"She'll be okay. Delphine is a good person." I commented.

Petra nodded.

"So you knew she was a Blade?" She asked me.

I nodded.

"Yeah...the Great War had changed everyone involved. I guess there's only so many people you can trust."

She seemed to agree.

"So, you're not sure whether was this a piece of revenge or..."

I chuckled.

"No nothing like that. Though it would be nice to take the Thalmor down a peg or two. They're been an annoyance the Guild."

Petra seemed to understand. But, in this case, it definitely had something to do with the Dragons. She kissed me on the cheek and closed her eyes.

"Night Brynjolf." She whispered.

"Night...Petra..." I whispered back.

Thankfully, we would have nicer dreams.


	68. Shield of Aetherius

AN: This is just a filler chapter. I've had a long day and i should be in bed. But...you may find it interesting and revealing I dunno. But it's supposed to make people go what?

**Chapter 68**

**Shield of Aetherius**

Magic...

Magic that is deemed impossible.

A world unknown, a world unceasing and filled with wonders.

All who tread the path can walk it.

I stand here, in my own world, the one I constructed for myself to enact my studies and research. This world is built of wood, crystals and fire. Strange I know, but the crystal part I can't really help at this point. This room, my station...simple cabin inside such a peculiar location that can't be picked by your average being. Few tables, walls littered and darted with paper with scribbles that I've written down over the years. Nothing that will make sense to you of course. As well as the dozens of candles all over the table in the middle, the room lit up in their warm glaze.

My journey's are a lot similar to what Petra's was going through. Except, I can't find which is more complicated. Hers, or mine...each are as charged as one another. Though, I fear I have made a grave mistake somewhere along the line.

A past rich in conflict and tension and yet, it never gets old. I may seem like a horrible person because of it, but you have never seen the things I've seen. In fact, it may sound weird when I tell you that I am, but a child of two distinct worlds. You haven't seen half of my real story and don't even know my real name.

While I could go on about myself, this isn't about me. This is about Petra's world. A world I fell into and became deeply interested in. I have visited quite a few thus far and by the time I may die I will never have visited them all. Each are infinite and precious as the rest, but I may have overstepped my boundaries a bit.

I have spoken with Brynjolf regarding Petra's doom-driven status. Her world, like many others, are constructed for failure like scenarios. It's...a time and space thing. Just leave it at that. And I wanted to see whether or not fate could be changed for better or for worse. To see the happiness it brings people. I have had happiness in my own world of birth, but to give it to others just makes it worth while

I am a cruel person in general. I could save hundreds of worlds if I wanted to. But none of them tickled my fancy. They're boring and fate often plays out as it should. This one caught me eye because you may visit similar versions all the time but occasionally you'll find the one that holds a differential value to it.

But what does this mean about Petra's world? I like Petra. I'm sure many do. There aren't many like her, but if there is then...meh. She has this vibe to her that, while, she wants to do the right thing, she just needs a little help along the way. But overall, she's a bit difficult to define, only if she wants to know where to be placed in the world, due to her position as Dragonborn.

The Mute Girl and the High Elf. Strange characters too. I'd picked them up, along with a slew of other servants in my, Crusade. What am I hunting for? I'm not sure, but I'll just do what ever comes to me and let fate twist it's way forward.

However I sense the streams themselves churning and splintering. Not to get too technical, but I fear my meddling has forced time and space to make games with me. They're adamant that Petra has to fail in order to set the world right again. Choices are chosen obviously, but you have to consider the fact of how space-time actually works. To explain it all, well, would take me ages without the jargon to support the factors involved.

She's alive at least and I am content with seeing it that way. If they want to play a game with me then so be it. My unseen enemies that I fight with everyday. I do not hate them, of course not. But this is a challenge that I have burdened myself with and I will fight until the end.

Petra becoming a dragon was a factor that I didn't think they would consider. Her fear of dragons would have left her to die but she wasn't resigned that fate. Who would be? To be destined to that as such has been either a blessing or a curse. You look at everyone in Skyrim at the moment. They'd be grateful for a saviour, but you forget they're there sometimes. You say you love the world you're in, but you would only say that for the connections you've made. To save Skyrim from the mold of destruction that lingers around waiting to strike. I believe she'll do it, even if I have to fight tooth and nail to make sure she gets her happy ending.

How do I know this? You're not as much in involved as I am. Let's say someone like me has definitely been in Petra's role once before. But now I am much, much more. I am forever what the worlds have given me, by mistake or by fate...either one. I am here, now, a speckle on existence to reach out to the furthest stars to give hope and resonance.

* * *

"Mistress?'

Torvan. He stands behind me, loyal and firm. I have collected those who have been left behind to serve me. Their worlds ended. Torvan came from a place that ended up being besieged during an alternate version of the Oblivion Crisis. A fate I saved him from. A nord from the old times, you may know him as the Hero of Kvatch, or the Champion of Cyrodiil. One of them anyway.

You see time is a construct that's built on infinite branches that all boils down to what decisions are made. There has to be terrible choices alongside the good ones in order for things to balance out. Torvan was just an unfortunate soul burdened with the premise of guilt, his world burnt down without the constituents needed to save it. I found him alone and brought him to my realm. A realm that's...sort of. Perhaps if you'd see it. No, you'd go mad. It's easier if I don't describe it's location.

But Torvan is one of many souls I have saved thus far on my little crusade. Skills of the elite level and yet, he treats me like a God. No I am not a God. Just...a Realm-Walker.

I dream like a mortal and may or may not die like one. On the matter of what I am is something entirely different. Don't know. All you need to know is that I was once a nord woman living in Skyrim, having done my tasks and leaning towards something...more.

Did I decide to this? Maybe, I have yet to figure that out myself. But when you're pretty much standing on the line of fate and godhood you wonder too much. I had seen the sights of Aetherius and bring forth the questions you have yet to ask.

"Oh good, you're here. Did the results from the stability test turn out okay?" I asked him.

He sighed and shook his head. This didn't look good.

"No...there's something shaking up badly. Gonna have to run a few more tests. What ever you're doing out there, it's extremely potent. Gonna have to reach out to a few contacts if that's okay with you."

By contacts I know he means exactly.

"Do it. I had a feeling something wasn't quite right. What about the communicator project? How's that running?"

He rubbed his head.

"The group there managed to get in touch with a few spirits here and there...as for the higher planes...it still needs more time."

A Realm-Walker's job is never easy. If you could understand half of what we do then good.

"Any more subjects from the last sector we checked out?"

Torvan checked his paper work.

"Oh I had almost forgot. Picked up someone who wants to see. As we'd suspected, the lack of stability in the streams has caused some hiccups to the system in place. Random people coming up in random times and so forth. We've got few people on the job maintaining several different rifts that have been floating about, all because their auras were different from one another."

Gods...this has been going for the last few weeks. Some people ending up in different eras...and alternate time lines. It wasn't a spacial issue. All time related.

"Where's the subject?"

Torvan took me to the quarters area...a huge chasm filled with temporary housing for the wanderers that get lost in time. It's an issue that I've looked deeply into and wonder if anything was actually my fault. The quarters reached up to the roof. Everything just made of wood and a bit of metal for structure and support. Don't worry, this place is safe.

Called the Shield of Aetherius. Don't ask me where we actually are. Just don't.

He took us upstairs into one of the quarters there. I entered inside, seeing a familiar face.

"There's a face I hadn't quite expected. I remember you dying in most of the places I've been to. How'd you do it?"

Before stood a man in black thieves guild armour and the most smug face that I'd ever seen. His aura was different from what versions of him I'd actually seen, an interesting partition to what had unfolded in most worlds prior. His face was like in a scowl, with brown-to-grey hair. Breton origin.

"Well for one I was minding my own business in the guild and the next I'm in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of wood elves who captured me."

I nodded.

"Ahh so you were in Valenwood? Fascinating."

He grumbled.

"Don't sound too excited. You weren't the one escaping death there." He groaned.

I smirked.

"No, but I have escaped death many times. Tell me why I should spare yours now?"

He crossed his arms. I never liked him, but I wanted to see where he was playing at.

"Because I have valuable information pertaining the dragons. It wouldn't have mattered much but it's an interesting find. I was going to sell it to the highest bidder, but your form seems too attractive to pass up."

I rolled my eyes.

"Flattered, but no. I'd rather kill you instead if I could."

The man grinned. Euch.

"So if I gave you this information, would you send me back to the Guild in one piece?"

I contemplated it. I really did. I hated this man myself in all the worlds I've been to. His aura was different, sure, I've seen it dozens of times. And how this information was relevant to the world's I was interested may not matter, or it might. It could help if I decided to mingle in further. But this man has to redeem himself otherwise.

I talked to Torvan briefly, seeing if his fate or...those who speaks to, can be spared. He nodded,

leaving briefly, then coming back with a silver amulet with a moth decal. Moth's are pretty cool.

"Okay, I'll see to it on the condition that no harm comes to your comrades from now on. My associate Torvan has placed an amulet with a tracking enchantment to make sure you're doing as you're told. If not, we'll be alerted."

He grumbled again. Such an unhappy fellow.

"Yeah what ever. Do we have a deal or not?"

I wondered if it was a good idea, but I was willing to see how it all unfolded.

"Yes of course. Torvan?"

My associate placed the necklace on the mans neck, much to his consternation. I smiled.

"Okay, we're good. Torvan prepare the Gate."

He nodded, running out of the room.

I leaned back on the wall, smiling with confidence to make sure we both kept up our parts of the bargain.

"Okay, what do you have?" I questioned. Even if he didn't have anything or he had something we already knew, I wasn't one to pass information up either way. It nearly became a business.

"The Dragons themselves tenacious as they may be, something's got them spooked. It's not normal to see the Guild's work having to deal with them, but I've had many a good thief die because of their attacks in the middle of nowhere. I've gotten my son, whom I consider my best thief, to look for ways to defeat them. He suddenly found some kind of parchment from some cave. It speaks of some weird good dragon...white, pure and has feathers? I don't even know Dragons had feathers."

Dragon with feathers? I have heard these rumours before from another wanderer.

"Go on..." I told him.

"Like I said, it's not our business to know. But I thought it rather strange. I'm not huge on the dragon lore myself but...it seems the lot of them have been flying around scared. The parchment mentioned this dragons name as Sotrahkun. Don't know anything of it. Asked the local nords but they haven't had much like themselves pinning it down. Why my son found this of all things is beyond me. So will you let me go?"

Sotrahkun. Yeah. That's the name that's coming up a lot lately. A White dragon with feathers. I'll have to have someone look into it.

"Very well, thank you Mercer. Go downstairs and met up with Torvan. He'll have the Gate open for you."

I didn't mind that Mercer, I guess it was only a matter of time before I'd met a half-decent version of him. Still, he had a son. Something he actually had of value.

Timelines alternates can either have small or major differences between one another. Whether it'd be race, gender, personality, you name it. But they have similar aura's to track. As I mentioned it, it's about choice and not everything is going to be exactly the same.

* * *

"Ahh can I have a word to you?" Asked the Elf as he approached me back in my main quarters.

"Yes Wheats what can I help you with?" I replied, looking over my table filled with many crystals allowing me to see different worlds in action. If I described it to you your head will explode as well.

"Right, so I followed the lines of this Sotrahkun and like Zoklotinhaar, it's not written anywhere but the parchment that Mercer mentioned. He seemed quite more pleasant than normal. Wouldn't you agree?"

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Just, tell me what you found..."

He backpedaled.

"Oh, right...so, Sotrahkun is a dragon, white, with feathers and...oh...we've had one report so far...oh dear..."

I looked at him with a stern expression.

"What is it?"

He bit his lip and rose an eyebrow. Usually was a sign I was going to hate it.

"One report...says one of the parchments is calling out for Petra. Wanting to speak with her?"

I should have known.

"So this dragon that no one has ever heard in any of the worlds we'd been to and wants to speak with Petra? Goodness."

I pinched the top of my nose in the stress of the situation. A specific Dragonborn too. I needed more information.

"Wheats, do you think you and Chell would able to cluster more data? I'd rather Petra follow the path as closely as she can at this point."

The elf nodded.

"Sure can love. Anything in particular?"

I bit my lip and pondered.

"Anything that'll tell me why this dragon is looking for her."

I understand that this might be a bit overwhelming but this is the definite truth. The reasons for the Crusaders. To determine the reasons why. This is our path to choose. So much to take in but don't stress. I'll do the stressing. I could ask some of the other tenants who chose to stay and help, but this is becoming ridiculous.

I theorized that this Dragon may or may not actually be a dragon at all. Or maybe with the Children of Space and Time getting in contact with me. But they're less subtle in their methods. So obviously I was still in their good books.

In all, I wanted Petra to have the good life as Dragonborn and she was a person of entertainment. Again, I am a cruel person...

You'll thank us for it in the end.


	69. Thalmor Embassy

**AN: I took my own liberties of what happens with this mission because we've all been through the main storyline. This is just my twist on it. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 69**

**Thalmor Embassy**

Ah morning. How I hate thee.

I don't regret my actions from last night. I was indeed stressed and tensed up and just wanted to let loose and run wild. I'm pretty sure Brynjolf enjoyed himself anyway. I'd woken up, mixed up in his arms. Tempted to stay there, in the warmth that surrounded us. Pity dragons needed dealing with. And the Thalmor...

We reluctantly got ourselves out of bed, put our armour back on, then I tied my hair up back in a ponytail. I wouldn't really care if we received faces as we walked out. I hoped to inspire them. Yes because I'm incredibly mature. The old ones need spice put back in their lives anyway.

But importantly the both of us were okay with one another. We kept everything outside the bedroom professional and allowed ourselves to mellow in what precious moments we had together. I'd like to put truth in that more than it was actually been put in action actually. But...we preferred to take it seriously for just one moment if we could, please. I loved the intimacy but...yeah...heh...hmmm. Anyway, We left the Winking Skeever not as much so as to prepare ourselves for the trip to the Embassy.

Never really dealt with the Thalmor too much. No one likes them, that's a given. They're tolerable for now as long as they don't get in my way. But push comes to shove, I've had to eventually come across their paths. Especially being Dragonborn and that Brynjolf was a descendent of Talos himself? Stuff like that is beckoned to be heretical.

If Delphine and the Realm-Walker think this is going to help find any answers relevant then by all means. I'll investigate. Just don't force me down a road like that again

* * *

We met up with Delphine at the Stables, who had a horse and carriage lined up for me. She handed me a set of fancy dress clothes, which I looked at with skepticism.

"You really want me to wear that?" I asked with a monotone. Brown robes. Ew.

"You have to look the part of a Thalmor toady. You can't go in there looked armed to the teeth." Delphine explained.

I could have sworn to have heard Brynjolf chuckle. For goodness sake.

"Go on mama, put it on." Ayisha told me. Sigh, even the kid is making me do this. What of it.

I rolled my eyes, going into the nearby bushes to quickly change. I hate wearing formal wear, I despise being like one of those stuck up nobles. These robes was stupid. The hat was stupid. The whole thing was stupid. I came out with a displeased expression. Brynjolf was grinning the entire time, the bastard.

"Lookin' good lass." He commented.

"Why don't you take your hair down?"

I grumbled as I handed my normal gear to Delphine and Brynjolf...I hated that idea, but I did it anyway, since I normally had my hair up. I took it out, scuffed it a bit and let it down as I put the hat on. Gods I really didn't want to do this. She wasn't entirely convinced, until she brought out a make up kit and doused my face in muck. Brynjolf was liking it more than me, apparently by that goofy look on his face.

"Delphine, didn't know you were a make up artist." He joked.

She smirked.

"It comes from having to hide a lot. You'd be surprised the difference it makes to some people. It's about what you expect your enemy to wear. You give them something they'd never wear in their entire lives and you won't notice a thing until you stare at them directly in the face. It's really good when you're in crowds."

Make up was stupid. She finished up and nodded towards. To her it was a lot better. I had no idea what she did to me.

"I'll keep the rest of your things until you get back. Here's the invitation. Don't worry, its real. Good luck."

I said my goodbyes to Ayisha and Brynjolf as well, hugging them both before jumping into the carriage and watched them wave at me and disappear.

* * *

I had to admit I was slightly nervous. I never sat well with all the important people in the province. I'd rather not deal with that right now. As we came into the large building, surrounded by Thalmor guards I swallowed my pride. Another man had arrived at the party with me, using his cocksure tone.

I handed my invitation to one of the guards, his smugness impeding. I was let inside the Embassy and left on my own. Inside was roomy enough with the smell of a mixture of sweet and bitter drinks, cheese and a variety of other foods. It was filled with the high-class and important people. My problem was that I'd seen many of these people before.

One of the female high elves approached me and introduced herself as Elenwen, the Thalmor Ambassador to Skyrim. I had...bad vibes about her. Real bad. But I made do. I was nervous but I could fake confidence, which was what Brynjolf taught me. I also just made it seem like it was just another job, even if it wasn't.

I spoke with her casually, until Malborn, standing behind the bar made some of request regarding the Alto Wine, to which Elenwen bitched about him about him going on about trivial matters. She then excused herself before wandering off. Yeah...that bad vibe thing...it's like part mystic sense you know?

I had a word with Malborn who then prompted me to make a distraction so that he could take me behind the bar to start searching the premises. I took a bottle for myself as I sifted through the room with the pit in my stomach burning as I recognized some of the people in the room. I saw...wait, was that...oh Gods.

Balgruuf.

I really, really, hope he doesn't see me. Oh...oh Gods he saw me.

Look away Petra, look away...

"Hello there." He spoke to me. I smiled despite the pressure as he welcome me warmly.

"You look familiar. Have I seen you somewhere before?"

My eyes darted from side to side. Just make up a story Petra.

"Uh...no. No we haven't met. " I told him, putting on a fancy voice.

He smiled and shook his head.

"Sorry, you just have the...look of someone I haven't seen a while. I'm Jarl Balgruuf of Whiterun"

I took a sip of the wine. Gods...

"Um it's an honour Jarl...well, I have one of those faces. I'm from Cyrodiil originally. I'm up here from the Imperial City."

He nodded.

"Hmm...yeah you remind me of a girl I once met. She'd came to me on the account of the dragon attacks from Helgen, so I sent extra troops to Riverwood to make sure they were safe."

I pretended to be surprised. Just...keep acting Petra.

"Oh? Yes...I had heard about Helgen. Ravaged in fire I believe." I lied. All part of the job Petra, not something you haven't done before.

"Aye, terrible mess. She'd helped out my court wizard in his investigation of these Dragon attacks. Went to the Western Watchtower, then according to my Housecarl, she'd vanished. Guards reckoned she was Dragonborn...housecarl...Irileth hey Irileth..."

Goodness...why...this dunmer...overly paranoid at best, walked over and stood next to the Jarl.

"Yes my Jarl?"

I crossed my arms. Breath Petra. Breath.

"Remember the girl we were talking about, the one from the Western Watchtower that helped Farengar. Did we ever up finding out what happened?"

The dunmer looked at me as I sipped my wine. It's okay Petra, take Delphine's advice.

"Hmmm...no. She'd run off I presume. Then some thunder on the mountains on a clear Skyrim day. You said it was those old men on the top."

Balgruuf nodded.

"The Greybeards. She might have heard their summons and went up there. But...I hadn't heard since."

Did...I really make that kind of an impact?

"I doubt it matters much now. The dragon was dead wasn't it?" Irileth pointed out.

Balgruuf sighed.

"Yes but...it's a sign of the end times. With Alduin the World-Eater...the only one who can defeat him is a Dragonborn. That legend has been passed from nord to nord for centuries."

I had heard bits of it, but my parents weren't much of model parents in the ways of tradition. They worshiped Zenithar but that was about it.

"Yes and you take it so seriously..." The dunmer pointed out.

Seriously? Irileth, I thought your people were outright worshiping Daedra. Though that's just me being biased I suppose. Her heart was one of a warrior and didn't take to any religious matters herself.

"Then tell me why you think they're back, surely you would have known about more of the Oblivion Crisis down there?" Balgruuf asked me.

I wasn't expecting that question. They hadn't seen or heard of what's happened to me in the mean time. But I somewhat knew a bit about the crisis.

"Um...well, I've been rather ignorant of the problems arising in Skyrim. I was just visiting my land of origin as all."

Great Petra. Good thinking.

"Surely you've been here long enough now to hear all the bad news running about. You have to be here on business. No way is taking a trip here ever considered a good thing." Balgruuf commented sadly with a low voice. It'd made wish that he'd said that to me some months ago.

"I have assets here that are in my best interests to protect. Some war and some dragon attacks won't prevent me spending all the coin I can to do so."

Balgruuf smiled.

"Ah spoken like a true nord! Like the girl. I had considered what she had done for me a great honour. I would have made her Thane you know, given her her own housecarl. She's...about your height..."

Gods don't blow my cover...Nocturnal guide me.

Wait...did...

"Oh really? I'm sure she'll be fine, adventuring out there as those types do." I stated. Did...did he really want to make me Thane? I don't even deserve it!

Irileth was giving me suspicious looks. I think she knew more than Balgruuf did. I wish people weren't obsessed with me lately.

"You look too young to be gallivanting about with nobles. Doesn't your heart desire the better life?"

I'm guessing Irileth was one of those people...I had spoken with her prior, revealing she and Balgruuf had a battle-bond...something that grew in war-time. She had a knack for picking things out and watching over her Jarl like a hawk from assassins. She was scary, but she was just doing her duty as a Housecarl...and a friend.

Now...I am the one feeling worse guilt than I did when I ran to Riften. In a single sentence he's managed to make me think of all the choice's I'd made so far. I. I was going to complete this first. And worry about that later.

So far I still needed to make a distraction. Somehow. I kept my distance, seeing Maven and Ingrod Ravencrone roaming around. I'm sure they know I'm here but none of them have said anything.

Neither did Erikur. I then realized majority of the people I had seen, I knew them. I had helped them. These nobles...

I fear...not treachery. No...something different.

"You look pale. Maybe you should sit down." Balgruuf noted.

I wish people would stop thinking I'm sickly. I'm small, not weak.

"I'll be fine." I said, smiling.

"Been running around a lot."

He nodded.

"Okay then. Don't push yourself. If you ever find yourself in Whiterun, be sure to drop by Dragonsreach."

* * *

Still needed a damned distraction. I did eventually sit down and continued to drink a bit of wine. Slowly of course. I can't stumble around the Embassy drunk now can I. But it was a bit watery, I suspect Malborn watered it down for that very reason.

Idgrod came to sit next to me, much to my surprise. I looked forward.

"I thought it was you as you wandered in. Didn't know it was you. But...I figured..."

I hissed. Oh Gods...no no no...

"I'm...not sure what you're playing at. Didn't even know you're a noble."

I chuckled.

"I'm not."

She patted her legs.

"Oh...well, I'm sure you're here for a good reason? I've had good contact with your Guildmast-, uhh...superior. She wanted to pay me a good sum of gold to come here to help you."

I blinked.

"What? Karliah?"

The Jarl smiled.

"Your dark elf friend told me go. I tried to get in contact with you again but you're a very hard woman to find these days."

I pulled a rogue strand of hair out of my face.

"You needed something Jarl?"

"You did Morthal a service that I'd never forget. I'd even consider you Morthal's protector and offer you a position of Thane and give you a piece of land if you ever want to build a house."

What? No! Wait? Huh?

"Why? I did what was necessary. You're towns fine isn't it?" I asked her.

"Yeah, it is. Vampires are a grave topic that gets everyone running scared. The fact you went to a whole coven of 'em, took 'em down and saved the wizard speaks volumes about you. Giving you gold wasn't enough. The people have been happier and have never felt safer. Some of them have even made amends with Falion. And even if there's still noises in the marsh at night, they'll still be able to sleep."

What..what was this strange feeling?

"I'm...glad I made quite the impact Jarl...don't know whether I'm actually worthy of that though."

She shrugged.

"If you ever change your mind come back to Morthal. We could really use someone like you."

Tempting but I had others that needed my attention.

"Thanks for the offer Jarl. I'll think about it."

She grinned.

"Good to hear. So, Karliah tells me that you're here for more than free food and drink hm? I may be able to provide a service of my own if you'll permit me." She told me.

I rubbed my head.

"Hm? What did you have in mind?"

* * *

Hm...that went better than expected.

I'd forgotten Idgrod was prone to visions, but she also 'wasn't a stranger to faking them' either. She used her weapons of old age plus subtle senility, then went off in a tangent about the guy I came in with and proclaimed he was evil. Or the way she put it was much more amusing.

But it gave me exactly what I needed. I spoke with Malborn who smuggled me into the kitchens and passed a Khajiit nearby. She made me think of Ayisha with the type of fur she had. She detested me being in the kitchens, but a quip from Malborn shut her up quickly.

He told me my things were in the chest in the next room. I went inside, thanking the elf as he closed the door and locked it.

I was on my own.

I found the chest quickly, finally getting to strip from that stupid gear. I summoned my Nightingale Armour and found my bow, an assortment of arrows, potions, lockpicks, etc as well as my two swords and tucked them away, then used my hair tie wrapped around my wrist to get my ponytail back in order. Feels so much better.

I went into the next room, seeing a long hallway. I listened into a conversation between two Thalmor soldiers who joked about their mages being eaten by dragons first. Judging from their conversation, it didn't appear they were in allegiance, but I could be wrong.

I continued to sneak around, going from room to room, trying to find what ever documentation I could, but everything was just boring reports that lead nowhere. I then went outside. There were guards everywhere, so I took a deep breath and went passed the guards and prayed for Nocturnals protection with whispers.

I had the agent of shadow within me, turning me invisible as the path to where I wanted to go was being blocked and going out in the open like that would just be suicide. And when I got there, I had to be quick to open the door and get inside. An open area, just as lush as the main building. I heard speaking complaining about something. There was a single guard there, but I stuck to the shadows and leaned against the wall to listen in...

"You say the Thieves Guild is hiding something from us?" I heard one voice speak.

"Of course. They're in on the whole thing. Raiding the Ratway would be my sole recommendation, considering the fugitive you may be looking for is down there somewhere. Your tool Gissur has been an annoyance but useful to an extent."

I knew that other voice and I hated it instantly.

"They shield a Dragonborn in their ranks. As well as a descendant of Tiber Septim. I believe assassinating them both would be most beneficial to both parties there Rulindil old friend."

No...not...not the Guild!

"Hm...I guess. Would anyone would have known that the long dead Emperor would have lineage through a dark elf? Such impurities. Does not matter either way. We'll send a few scouts down there to see what they can find." Rulindil explained.

"I warn you, they're quite powerful. I wouldn't send just anyone down there."

"We'll send an assassination team. Should be able to handle it...Prolg." Rulindil spoke before getting up and leaving to go downstairs.

"I hope they will." Prolg the asshole replied.

* * *

No...I had to get back to the Guild as fast I could. But I needed to find more information.

I ran around the Solar for a bit, sneaking past more guards as I did so. I found a few interesting dossiers on Ulfric Stormcloak that were a bit revealing. I may need to give him a visit soon if that's what had to be done. I think. And another document detailing that the Thalmor were investigating the dragon attacks as well, but had revealing details about the status of the Dragon Cult, or the Cult of Slaughter as an asset. There were more, but unfortunately I lacked the time to read them. I put them away for later.

But I should have known than to find Prolg allying himself with the Thalmor. They were dicks but...now they were even more dicks.

I went downstairs, finding Runildil and another soldier torturing a man. No...just no. He asked him questions regarding the man in the Ratway. I couldn't bare to see him doing that. I brought out my bow and gave Rulindil and the torturer swift deaths. Not that they deserved it like that. Preferably slow and extraordinarly painful. There was another chest here with more documents. I'll take them back to Delphine, but we were pressing for time.

I freed the breton, man, Etienne, who was tired and wounded from all the pain that they'd inflicted. It made me severly pissed off. He revealed the trap door where they often plonked dead bodies. Should have known better for them to do that.

I let him go, however no one had any keys. I looked up as I heard the door slam. I could see two Thalmor Agents holding Malborn.

Shit.

My heart pumped faster but I had this sense of knowing, that I just mindlessly pulled my bow up, striking the two agents in the head and freeing the elf from their clutches. I made sure the Elf was okay and shuffled through the agents and found a key. Aha...success.

We made our way, assisting Etienne down the trap door and into a snowy cave underneath the building...

I found another Stone of Barenziah, interestingly enough. It'd been a while since I'd seen one of these. I put it away, needing the focus to make sure everyone at the Guild was ready for an ambush. Damn it.

Malborn and I carried Etienne, then encountered a frost troll who'd made it's home here. I motioned for the elf and the breton to stay clear while I took it down and to keep moving. I put my bow away, taking out Chillrend and Nightingale blades and combating the fierce beast in combat. It take too long to take it down, but maybe it was just me rushing as I spun and dropped to avoid getting hit from it's nasty claws and stabbed it in the chest before crossing cutting it's head off. With no time to boast, I withdrew my weapons and caught up with the other two and helped them get outside.

"Are you guys alright?" I asked them both.

Malborn seemed to appear a bit more grumpy.

"I hope you got what you needed. Now I'm going to be hunted for the rest of my life." He complained.

I rolled my eyes. He needed to hide. So did Etienne. And with the Guild compromised, there wasn't much else I could do...unless...I took a piece of paper and scribbled some details down. I had to plan this and plan this quickly.

"Malborn, take Etienne to Morthal...here have some gold, rent out the inn there. Ingrod should return back there tonight. Take that note to her and follow her lead. You can trust her." I told them.

Malborn was confused. I hadn't expected him to understand. He became paranoid again.

"Look, just go there okay...if you follow orders you'll survive."

He looked at Etienne.

"What about him? He has nothing to wear."

I tapped my finger, remembering I had put the robes away. I took the set out of my cloak, seemingly an endless realm of shadow to contain stuff. Just don't ask me how it works it just does. Or ask Nocturnal. I don't care.

"It's not much, but they'll have to do. They'll protect you from the cold at least." I told him.

He put them on and nodded at me.

"Thanks. You've saved my life out there. Just...be careful, what ever you do. I smell somethings up and I don't like it."

I agreed.

"Yeah. Now get your butts to Morthal before anyone sees you. Go on, scat!"

* * *

I'm sure they'll be fine. If they kept to the roads at all. That note had all my details on there on what to do. I forget I'm well connected with various allies. Like the Realm-Walker had once told me. It'd made me think that a few people do owe me favours here and there and I'm obliged to use them at least once. Positively speaking.

But now they were out of the way, I went to find Brynjolf, who wasn't too far off. He walked up to me and hugged me, glad I was safe. But, my heart was aching for the others, unaware of what was about to transpire.

"Bryn, the Guild's in danger." I told him, anxious.

He looked at me strangely.

"In what way?"

I became stressed out again, explaining everything I saw really, really quickly to the point I was running out of breath and feeling faint again, my breath hastened. Brynjolf grabbed my shoulders just to get me to stop.

"Woah, woah, slow down there lass. So...my father has been working with the Thalmor? I honestly wouldn't have not seen that coming."

I looked at him with worry. I could see the confusion and the bafflement in his eyes. His father killed me but it just doesn't stop the internal conflict within him.

"I didn't either..." I said, getting my breath back.

"Where's Delphine and Ayisha?"

He crossed his arms.

"They went back to Riverwood. But if what you say is true lass, then we better get back to Riften right away and warn the Guild."

I nodded. I wanted control of the situation but...this was all so sudden. I couldn't let this happen...I just couldn't. Brynjolf placed two fingers in his mouth and whistled. In a few seconds I could see our horses trailing one another as they came down the hill. Clever. I got on Cody while Bryn got on Lucky as we fled off to the east as fast as we could.

Thankfully we should be able to get to Riften quickly...I hope.


	70. Raid

**AN: Bryn chapter tiemz. And more conflicts!**

**Chapter 70**

**Raid**

I knew the lass would get out without so much as a scratch on her. Easy job done I'd say. Though when she said that the Thalmor were out to get the Guild, the both of us refused to panic outwardly, our hearts wrenching at the thought. We didn't have much time to lose as I called our horses and rode our way towards Riften.

Petra knew we had to skip Riverwood, but she mentioned a courier once the whole ordeal was sorted. And my father? Shor. Why would he side with the Thalmor? There was so much hypocrisy going on it was making my head spin. It didn't matter. Prolg was an irredeemable monster anyway, and I don't want him near Petra and his head on a pike.

The lass had her head on tight, with nary a reluctance written on her face. She had to be strong, brave and adamant. When facing the Thalmor, you have to endure the facts that they're a magically strong force to deal with that almost wiped out the Empire and declared Talos worship forbidden. I couldn't wait to see their corpses littered around the cistern, an image not to mess with thieves and scoundrels like us who had Nocturnal watching our backs.

She had her Nightingale gear on and it was only appropriate that I do the same. We managed to get back to Riften by mid to late afternoon at the speed we had been going. We'd left our horses at the Stables and stormed into the city with fierce determined faces and minds.

We had to plan this through without it going haywire quickly. She'd asked a few guards if any Thalmor had wandered into the city. He'd mentioned a few had gone down into the Ratway. Gods...

Petra and I made haste to the hidden entrance by the Temples and rushed ourselves to speak with Karliah about what was about to happen.

"The Thalmor? Here?" She spoke with surprise. I don't blame her.

"Aye, they're on their way. Lock the entrance to the Cistern and alert everyone. Then meet Petra and I in the training room."

She nodded. She did the run arounds, alerting the other members to keep on guard. Niruin locked the hidden entrance while Sapphire went to the Flagon to alert the others. After doing so, Petra, Karliah and I stood around the desk with the documents she'd found at the Embassy. She scattered them about, before picking one of them in particular. There was a name written down on one of them that I'd sworn I'd seen before.

"What is it Bryn?" Petra asked me.

I rubbed my chin.

"This dossier speaks of a man named Esbern, a member of the Blades. I know that name. Some guy in the Ratway who pays to keep us quiet about his location. Vekel brings him food once in a while. I wonder..."

Petra and Karliah looked at one another.

"So he's considered a wanted man as well?" Karliah queried.

"There wouldn't be much doubt in that. There'd be no other reason why they would be down here..." I had stated.

Petra shook her head.

"And the fact that he stated what Bryn and I were. They'd found a common ground." She mentioned.

Karliah crossed her arms.

"Who?"

I looked down.

"The Cult of Slaughter. Both them and the Thalmor want Petra and I dead."

Her eyes widened. While Petra was just annoyed, pinching the top of her nose as she became more irritated.

"Yeah because we're an affront to both of them because I'm Dragonborn and Bryn just happens to be a descendant of Talos. What gives." Petra spoke with quite the scornful tone.

Karliah pondered, trying to think of our next move. We can protect ourselves but when something as extreme as this gets into the picture, you can't help but wonder what was going on with the world.

"We'd be sitting ducks here. We may tell ourselves that we can protect the Cistern. Nocturnal should protect us but seeing what the Thalmor have done in the past who knows what they're up to."

Petra agreed.

"No one likes them Guildmaster, no one. We should quickly head down into the Ratway and find this Esbern if he's down here."

Now that's something I would prefer to do myself, however.

"Brynjolf I need you stay here. Petra, go down and find Esbern and take him to safety."

What?

"I need you to stand your guard here with me and attempt to delay the Thalmor from proceeding any further, while Petra sneaks this...Esbern out to safety."

Oh...well, fair enough. Petra should be able to deal with that swiftly. I'd hope. I sensed she was annoyed, but neither of us would disobey an order.

"Alright good. I know where to take him. Just...the two of you be safe okay?"

We watched Petra sneak away, adamant to find this Esbern. Vekel had mentioned speaking with him a few times and directed Petra in the right direction. Only that there may be a few Thalmor in there already. Petra, just be careful. Please?

Meanwhile I stood guard alongside the others and spoke with Delvin regarding numbers scuttering about like skeevers. Vex looked like she was on edge, even more so than usual. Tonilia and the other merchants were escorted into the cistern for their own protection. Vekel too, while the rest of us stood watch of the doors.

We were only a small group but all of us were fighters. We're not like the Companions nor are we as cruel and dark as the Dark Brotherhood. And none of us were magically inclined like the College either. But luck is our greatest weapon and by sticking to what we know, we should be able to do this without much trouble. But the Thalmor just made me...weary. You know they mean trouble when they have a worse reputation than we do. So that says something.

We nearly all jumped as we heard banging from the entrance to the Flagon. Vex tightened her grip on her dagger as Delvin spat on the ground, pissed off by the fact this was pretty much his Guild, his family that they were about to deal with.

They'd broken the door down...oh they'd pay for that. A swarm black robed elves entered and walked around the cistern in middle, blocking any attempts of our escape. No. We weren't going anywhere. This is our home and Talos knows that none of them were going to take it away from us. The irony stands at the numerous conversations held above ground about the guards giving us a raid. Maven deals with that daily with the help her numerous underlings.

I'll admit, that none of us were pure black and white. The entirety of Riften was rotten to the core and you know, we functioned like the mechanics as a dwemer ruin...and could often be deadly as one too. We've done horrible things, selfish things and treated everyone and each other like shit. But we knew how it worked. It's a system that has kept us afloat for decades and anyone who tries to change otherwise is either gonna have to deal with us or their heads floating in Lake Honrich.

They'd stopped in their tracks as a man that I detested wandered inside, wearing similarly designed cloak but with a bit more spike to it. Dragon themed even. Where does he get those stupid clothes? Now I sound like Petra.

"Brynjolf my boy. It's a shame you can't see the benefits of peace, as we do. But...you joining the Guild allowed you to turn into your mother. I guess it runs in the blood."

I glared at him as he gave me that typical smug look. But I had to be reasonable here.

"So you take down my allies and friends. Heading somewhere are we Prolg?" I questioned.

I heard Vex scuffle, with the fury written all over her steaming face.

"You put one finger on Brynjolf and I'll leave you with a piece of yourself on the ground." She taunted.

Prolg just crossed his arms and smiled.

"You have such charming colleagues here. All out to protect a lost cause. In the dump you've called your own." He commented. Flattery coming from him is considered the greatest insult.

"You will not claim a single soul here tonight Prolg. You have long forsaken your duties and now you dare tread on my territory. I'm sorry, but that's just not on." I told him outright. I hadn't taken any weapons out just yet. I needed to give Petra as much time as I possibly could.

"Bryn permission to slit your dads throat?" Vex asked me as she seethed through her teeth.

I didn't want to reply. Instead I stood in front of the man that only shares my blood at this point. Nothing more. I should have known since I was a young lad that he was up to something with all the grinding lessons and nonsense that forced me to come here. And it was the best choice I ever made.

"My Thalmor associates would prefer to punish you for your blatant Talos worship and your distinct bloodline tracing back up the once great emperor. Redeem yourself and join us for an everlasting distinction. I wouldn't want my only son to die."

My lip twitched.

"Are you even hearing what you're saying? You worshiped him for years! You were a damned priest! I don't understand why you..." I said, acknowledging the group of elves around us.

"Why all of you are falling for such crap! This is the man who taught me about Tiber Septim who conquered Tamriel and ascended to become a God! Tell them father, tell them the story about the Nightingales."

He tilted his head.

"The Nightingales? Oh the little group of daedra cursed thieves. Now that's a story for the ages. A demon who allows other demons to use her powers. Our goals aren't that much different after all."

Delvin rose an eyebrow, puzzled.

"Wait just a second there before you break our heads with all this religious crap. We understand we're a necessary evil. But for what you're getting at, is a lot worse than us. Skyrim doesn't need dragons tormenting everyone and death shouldn't be everyone's first priority." He explained.

He started to laugh, which really got on my nerves.

"No! We don't mean for everyone to die. Not at least permanently. We're aiming for rebirth of ourselves. A noble deed and we'll function without the necessaries evils plaguing it."

Ow...my head...Gods...Priest...

I almost fell over as everything went dark...

* * *

"Bryn are you alright?" Asked Delvin.

I looked up at Prolg with my glowing eyes. I'd put him to rest to allow me to deal with the sort of nonsense riddled this place of vermin.

"The days we had are over." I said, voice echoing from the walls.

"Woah woah woah...wait, you're that dragon priest aren't you?" Vex questioned. I understand her concern.

I paid her no mind. I had to continue to finish Brynjolf's work. And my own unfinished business.

"You are too far into this to gain redemption now Prolg. The ignorant refuse to see the fallacies in which your plan is balanced on..."

I summoned my armour above Brynjolf's...I need to shake these elves off if Petra doesn't get the elder out of the ratway in time. It surprised a few of the soldiers. I wanted them to be scared, to fear my power.

"What is that utter defile of sanity?" Spoke one of them.

"No idea, I'm sure none of this was written in the memo."

These Elves...their essence disturbs me. Their powers are greater than the rogues here. Too many of them, far too skilled. This required a delicate touch. I turned to the others.

"Get the others into the cistern. I'll handle this." I calmly told them."

Vex wasn't entirely sure. Her worries are noted.

I used my abilities and my wings to shield them from oncoming elven agents. They remind me greatly of the snow elves that once roamed the province. Just as arrogant and strenuous as their cousins.

I took out Rahkes and faced Prolg in the midst of his boastful repertoires. For a man like him. His mind had been so warped by Lord Alduin's false promises that he would not die for him, but rather, his corrupted soul would forever wander the earth in search of this game he was playing. So foolish and distasteful. Their hesitation...it speaks about the connection between themselves. While at Fellnir we were left caring for ourselves and the darkness that cloaked us in the tides of war.

"Zoklotinhaar. I should have expected that you'd worm your way into this. A real damn shame." Prolg spoke with such venom.

"I have my reasons for changing my mind. I am not blind to the truth as you are. For once I had thought exactly like you. But Petra's inflamed passions warmed my heart and made me aware of what I was once and who I truly belong to. The Dragonborn was sent to wage and settle our disputes to prove the lesser dragons who still holds the real power in this world."

Prolg smirked.

"Well, yes, you see. We don't exactly need you anymore." He told me. I was...puzzled.

"We've found a completely new plan that will save us all. You're nothing but an annoyance and a failure."

I fell into the shadows, reappearing from the dark mist with my blade at his throat, forcing the elves to either ready their weapons or their spells. Their magics won't be able to touch me.

"Then we shall stop what ever incompetent idea you have found."

* * *

Oh...my...hea-...what just happened here?

I remember standing up. And the smell in the Flagon had turned sour. I rubbed my forehead from the soreness and felt nothing but sweat and the gloves that I had on wear Zoklotinhaar priest's clothes.

I looked around me, seeing the Flagon in pieces with broken chairs everywhere, fires in random spots. Priest...that had to be you. What did you do?

I wandered around. Their corpses were everywhere. Damn it man, don't do this without my permission. Are you even there?

…

…

Nothing. Figures.

I went back to my normal armor as I continued to look around the tavern. No sign of Prolg anywhere. It must have been quite the battle that I had missed out on. What was the Priest playing at? Just...piles of bodies and the smell of blood and fire filled the air. Such a blood bath went on without my consent. I had tried to be reasonable but...you just ruined it. The Thalmor will continue to hunt us down I'm sure of it. But...

I went into the main cistern to speak with the others who were deathly on edge with pale faces. They seemed...scared of me. They had backed off as Karliah walked up to me, withdrawing her weapons to figure out what went on.

"Delvin told me that...Dragon Priest returned. Is that true?" She asked me. Her eyes were riddled with the troubled mind.

I frowned.

"To my shame yes. Everyone of them is dead, save for Prolg. I couldn't find his body anywhere."

Vex rolled her eyes.

"Gah should have slit his throat."

I combed my fingers through my hair and massaged my scalp. I had felt a bit faint after that. You're not too wary of piles of draugr but when it's people in their original live forms it's a bit more distressing.

"Any word on Petra and Esbern?" I queried. I had to know if the lass was alright.

"She sent word that she and the old man got out fine. And told us to tell you to meet in Riverwood when you were done. But...I'm a bit afraid at the moment."

Afraid? Karliah?

"What is it?" I asked her.

She sighed.

"The Cistern is no longer safe for us. What ever you did in there has made the Thalmor panic and I fear in no time that they'll regroup to take us down eventually with maybe their better forces in tow. We can't afford to stick around and do nothing. I'm afraid I'm going to have to disband the Guild."

The whole cistern was in uproar with those words. I hadn't seen many of them so angry since Mercer's betrayal. But this was my fault.

"You can't do that boss! Maven would be furious!" Delvin pointed out.

I sighed.

"No. I am really sorry guys. I...I can't..."

Tonilia put her arm on my shoulder.

"Hey we've seen what that guy can do before. Just be glad he's on our side now."

I tried to smile.

"Thanks. But Petra said she saw Maven at the party at the Embassy. She's just in much danger as we are at the moment. We leave she'll be left on her own."

Karliah bit her lip. Surely she wasn't going to force us to leave? Seriously?

"Unless you guys have a better idea, I'm not risking any of you dying because of this. We all know what the Thalmor are capable of. Maven can afford to disown us and find her own band of mercenaries to hire out to do the dirty work."

I had to think of something. I looked sternly at the Dunmer.

"Look, I'll go find Petra in Riverwood and see what she says about this. We need our best to decide what's best for our Guild here. We can't just drop everything and leave. There are many lives at stake here and if this catches wind to our information and fences, we'll be left weaker as is. It's better to have the connections with those we know that can speak to us on their own behalf. "

Delvin nodded.

"Bryn's right. Rather than just split us up, we'll just move location. I know of a few good places and people I can talk to, to see what's available. If thats right with you boss."

I turned to Karliah. It seemed like a good idea to me.

"Hm...we'll see. For now, everyone pack up your things. The best places for us to go for the moment is there Nightingale Hall. It's not far from here and offers much better safety. Delvin, Tonilia, Vex...everyone. I want you all to do this as discreetly as you can. Dirge, speak with Maul about this but don't get him to tell Maven just yet. If she's involved with the Thalmor, we can't risk her with us. Just let Maul know so he can speak with the guards. Understand?"

The man nodded.

"Of course."

While Karliah had the members running around, packing things up, she'd taken me to the Vault to speak in private. I knew I was going to get a scalding.

"Brynjolf I need to know..." She asked me, sounding exhausted.

But I knew what she was going to say.

"Yes...lass...look, I had no idea he was going to do that." I told her. Honestly, that's the truth.

She crossed her arms and lost eye contact with me.

"Okay I get that, but I don't want further harm to come to the Guild because of the man in your head. I need you to make sure he's controlled. He's risked enough as is. And now we're forced on the run because of it."

Aye, my guilt was dwelling deep into my stomach already. I just wanted to hold Petra to make it feel alright again.

I nodded.

"I know lass, I know...I'll try. But for now, I need to find Petra and let her know what's happened."

Karliah softened a bit.

"Yes. Do that. Now if you'll have to excuse me, I have to help pack."

I felt the Guild held a different opinion on me after that. Vekel and Dirge had returned back to the flagon alongside the other merchants. I couldn't go back in there after what he'd done to them. I didn't even see it yet the aura suggests the heated event took place probably within five minutes. I wanted to know...why?

If we could have spoken like gentleman then we would have figured a compromise. However, knowing Prolg, he would have screwed us over eventually. But where had he gone, why was his body not found? Unless you either did that on purpose or some other wretched thing. You've ruined my reputation as a trustworthy senior member dispersed from the lack of confidence. I had to rebuild that again.

I'd gone to the Stables to pick up Lucky, but my mind was filled with the images of the dead bodies that floated around the cistern. To admit I wouldn't want to go down there again. The smell lingered in my nose and I'd snap back to that every time something reminded me of it.

And now I know how Petra feels about Helgen. Although hers was more traumatizing, mine was...just something out of my control. I'd gone to Riverwood on Lucky with a heavy burden on my heart.

Thank you Petra for keeping me sane thus far.


	71. Helgen

**AN: This is filled with call backs to the start of the game. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 71**

**Helgen.**

Setting instructions and planning things out for others is harder than you may imagine. I'm not for organizing anything. I was made to follow orders not give them. But I had gotten inspiration from my mother, who always used to make sure that she'd follow the rules exactly. I had survived long enough with them and now that I'm taking her idea with me, it should help immensely.

I had rescued Esbern from the Ratway, who turned out to be a rather strange old man, who usually talked to himself. I'd met him in the Warrens, locked behind what must have been a door with dozens of locks by the time he managed to open it. I had to convince him I was Dragonborn to even get him to trust me. Even then, he managed to open up after I'd taken down several Thalmor agents on our way out.

He rabbled on about Alduin and had originally lost hope, as according to him then signs were all there. His face had lit up when I told him who I was and you know, it wasn't a bad feeling. A single sentence had given the man hope.

I'd taken him to see Delphine in Riverwood, all the while dreading to think what was happening at the Flagon right now. But I had a job to do, and I had confidence in the Guild and for them to do the right thing.

So we'd arrived there and the two greeted each other as old friends. I smiled, knowing in this age of uncertainty, that we find comfort in finding in what we once considered lost. It's a gem of an emotional change. I felt bad for interfering with it.

We had discussed the notions of what Esbern had in terms of information regarding Alduin, namely, something called Alduin's Wall and that after more of his mumbling about, concluded it was at a place called Sky Haven Temple. Delphine mentioned that she knew of the place, near a Forsworn encampment known as Karthspire. Great. I wanted to know what the actual wall was supposed to be of, as Esbern described it as the knowledge needed to defeat Alduin once and for all.

I felt ill of the whole thing, wagered on how the actual events had turned out so far. Practically, you could confirm the Thalmor hadn't been involved originally, but with Prolg's meddling, managed to partake the whole story and twist it so that they were actually involved. Things were going to get a lot harder from now on. Especially with the Guild still under threat.

Delphine suggested heading towards Karthspire, but for me...I was gravely concerned about what was going in Riften. But...I had to keep my head held high in doing so, knowing I had to be doing what was necessary for the world.

I'd gotten my gear back and had asked where Ayisha was, for which she proclaimed that she'd be playing with the local children, surprisingly. The only problem was what do with her. If Delphine, Esbern and I were going to go to Karthspire, well, I would want her with us, but at the same time, didn't want any harm to come to her. She no longer had the Ring of Khajiiti with her, but I think she should be fine, given her own skills in magic and the shadows. Delphine told me to wait outside while Esbern and her talked for a bit. I nodded, heading back upstairs.

* * *

I watched her from the inn, as she played with the local girl and boy and their dog. I observed her using magical tricks. To say she's deserving of her title of Mane is an understatement. I remember coming to Riverwood after escaping Helgen, Hadvar, the man who helped me escape, had lead me here for food and shelter. No doubt he'd be in Solitude doing Gods know what with the Legion.

I walked up to Ayisha and called her name, causing her turn around and sprint towards me, hugging my legs.

"Mama!" She called out.

I ruffled her head.

"Hey there my little kitten. How are we?" I asked her with a grin.

"Ayisha made friends. Dorthe and Frodnar and their little dog Stump. Ayisha was showing them them magic tricks."

I tend to forget much when I was her age. Given that most of my life had been ordinary up until a few months ago. I couldn't help but think of Helgen though as my body shivered.

"Everything okay Mama? Are you cold?" She asked me with beady eyes.

I just chuckled.

"Oh no nothing, Mama's fine. She's happy you're having fun. But she also may be heading back out to do more dangerous things."

Ayisha nodded.

"Oh? Can Ayisha come with?"

I'd contemplated that. Whether the Forsworn were to do anything in particular. She could be of some help if we'd come across more dragon text.

"Only if you're still capable of hiding." I told her.

She nodded.

"That's okay. Ring is gone, but Ayisha can still use spells."

I grinned.

"That's what I like to hear."

I wasn't sure how long Delphine and Esbern were going to be, but I let her go to continue to play with her friends. Ah kids...I observed them running around playing tag, then watched as a familiar face happened to walk by me, wearing his legion armor. I wasn't sure if he'd recognised me however. He'd stopped and squinted as I smiled.

"Long time no see." I told him.

Good ol' Hadvar. Just too coincidental to have him wandering into Riverwood again.

He smirked.

"Ahh Petra is it? Haven't you see in a while!" He told me.

We sat on the bench outside the Inn and talked for a bit. It was nice catching up after so long.

"So, what brings you back to Riverwood after all this time?" Hadvar asked.

I shrugged.

"Business. I'd gone to Whiterun to presumably, as you might have seen, to have more guards patrolling back and forth. But I'm here on other business sort of related but not."

Hadvar leaned back and nodded.

"I see. Still investigating the dragon crisis. I figured you'd want to know more about what was going on." He stated.

Well, that exactly wasn't the case. I couldn't tell him absolutely everything of course. Little white lies weren't going to hurt anybody.

"Absolutely. We're making progress. What about you? What have you been doing?" I wondered, sincerely.

Hadvar was one of the first soldiers to slightly worry about me being at the execution. At first I was confused as to why I was even there. I wasn't going to panic. I'd been...too exhausted to protest and my mind was elsewhere the entire time in a a near catatonic state due to immense confusion and fear. Everyone else...they were just assholes. Especially the Captain.

I'd been racked up with the Stormcloaks, including their leader, Ulfric. I don't...want.

"Nothing much really. After Helgen, they had me on patrols and going from camp to camp doing small jobs for the Legion. I'm just passing through to go to the border to meet up with another group of soldiers from Cyrodiil."

I rose an eyebrow.

"On your own?" I questioned. I half expected at least several members alongside him, but he was on his own."

He chuckled.

"The others weren't too far behind. They're probably going to rock up any minute now. But they were fixated on killing some wolf on the road. There was about four of us, and they'd told me to go ahead. I sincerely hope they didn't get themselves killed instead."

I rolled my eyes.

"One wolf? Give me a break. I'd take down several wolves on my own, if that." I boasted.

Hadvar grinned.

"Really? You weren't like that when we escaped. Although you did kill a bear. I never knew you had such talent in using the bow. You're not related to the Wood elves are you?"

I brushed him off.

"No...just my father who taught me back in Cyrodiil. I occasionally see action that warrants using it. Especially with the Dragons about."

He nodded.

"Yeah. Exactly. I have to admit though, Helgen was crazy. Pity they never got around to rebuilding it."

I understand my heart wouldn't want me to head back there. But with Hadvar, my original saviour until Brynjolf came along. But...within myself to take control is to put aside the doubts and bring my own self-esteem back from the brink. I could mostly remember fire, blood, death and wings of ebony. I felt the heat disappear from my face.

"You okay there? You've just gone pale." Hadvar asked me.

"Hm? No it's fine. I'm fine. Thinking of Helgen makes me sad sometimes."

He leaned forward and looked at me with a stern face.

"Yeah same. Do you ever regret what we did though?" He asked me, sounding soft.

We did what we had to do in order to survive of course. I'd rather not die if it can be helped.

"No...no. I'm just coming to terms with it that's all. Alongside my work of course."

He nodded towards me.

"Oh okay then. Well, if you ever want to talk about it. Let me know."

It gave me an idea though. An idea that would be a means to test me, to test my spirit for Gods themselves to see whether accepting the whole ordeal was worth being catatonic for. I hadn't even known at the time I was Dragonborn. I had a feeling something was afoot and I'd get down to the bottom of it.

"Say, you know, it would help my own investigation if we went back there." I suggested.

Hadvar tapped his knee and thought about it.

"I really should be meeting these soldiers at the border. But I guess we can take a bit of a look along the way."

I grinned. I told Ayisha if Delphine was looking for me, that I'd be back within a few hours. I let her stay a little longer, while Hadvar and I returned back to Helgen.

It was a nice day for a trip, filled with memories. Most unwanted but I look back now to where it all started and try to wrack my brain for reasons why this had occurred in the first place. My mind was in a trance but I recalled the majority of it. We'd approached the gates of the abandoned town with a pit in my stomach wrenching tightly.

Though, I couldn't stop my heart from beating rapidly, with my mind forcing me to recall the screaming as I looked at the burnt corpses that had been pushed onto spikes decorating the outer walls. I had to will myself to be calm as we got closer and the temptation to vomit was too great as I hurled in the bushes nearby. Hadvar came by, albeit a bit cautious to come closer. I wouldn't either.

"Feelin' queezy from looking at them? I agree. What are you hoping to find? And I really don't know if you should go in there. If looking at dead bodies like that makes you feel ill..."

I shook my head and stared at him.

"No, it's not...not that.." I told him, trying to clean myself up.

"It...brings back all the pain and anguish it brought. Doesn't it give you nightmares as well?"

He looked away.

"I'm a soldier. If I was going to be sick every time I saw a corpse I would have been kicked out and without any food resting in my stomach."

I commend his duty as such. But still.

"Fair enough." I stated. "Let's just go inside."

I picked the lock on the gate, opening it a tiny bit. I had feeling we weren't alone.

We went inside and wandered around, seeing bits and pieces of the town everywhere and burnt down buildings. Fire filled my head and it brought me a lot of pain. I was using every inch of my fill to subside that, to push it aside because it hurt so much. Didn't stop my heart though.

"I've heard the other soldiers say that this place is cursed, that's the reason why no one ever came back." Hadvar said, picking up a childs toy off the ground.

I rubbed my arm, feeling chillier than normal.

"Yeah, I agree with them."

We heard voices, as Hadvar brought out his weapons. I pulled out my bow and steadied my aim.

A throe of bandits headed in our direction, taunting us as they charged. I rolled my eyes, firing arrows into their necks as Hadvar cut them down to size, so to speak.

I withdrew my bow, then joined Hadvar into the fray, reminding me of the keep we entered and the escaped Stormcloaks along the way. I had my two blades, striking down the pitiless vagabonds as they had intended to.

We had made a good team. Admittedly, even if it was temporary. It allowed me to see the world outside of the Guild's true goals as Hadvar was just one of those part the bound law and if he knew what I was he'd be compelled to arrest me with the Empire's orders.

But coming back...I had originally believed it to be a biggest mistake and I had no intentions to head here but now...I feel like I may be able to let that go. May be. A lot of it still tormented my mind, bringing back the pointless slaughter that went on here. Fire falling from the sky, shouted by the massive black dragon that had great intention to kill.

My veins were burning with an inflamed parchment in these strange, similar battles of pure fury and skill. There'd been, what, like a dozen bandits in here? It didn't take us long to take them down, their corpses dotting the town itself.

I felt a bit relieved after that, but still a bit about the concept. Scars that had been scabbed off returned, but if I could find out more, they may heal proper.

"You're a bit of a whirlwind I must admit." Hadvar commented, sheathing his blade.

"You've improved yourself a lot since last time."

I smirked, putting my blades away as well.

"Yeah, well, that's what experience is for. Can't get around Skyrim without a bit of fine tuning after all." I stated.

He agreed.

"Could use you in the Legion." He told me.

I just laughed.

"What? You don't want me. I have bigger things to worry about. The Civil War with the Stormcloaks? I really don't want any part of that."

He frowned, saddened I wasn't to join him.

"That's a shame. I could vouch your skills to Tullius. Or...are you a Talos sympathiser?

I crossed my arms. The truth was much more complicated than that.

"What my beliefs are, are none of your business."

I then recalled the Thalmor situation. I wasn't sure who else to trust outside the Guild with this information. If it had been written down anywhere to suggest it, I would be holding it.

"That being said, I have rather disturbing implications regarding the Thalmor."

Hadvar face palmed.

"It's safe to say here that they're just disturbing over all but we can't risk peace over death. The Dominion will wage war again however...that much I do know."

Most of those affairs were made up when I was little. Who did I follow? May have be Kyne, or Mara. One of the two. I may have been a simple farm-girl but I did pray to the Gods for good harvests after all, just like what mother taught me.

"That bad huh? Should have known. But...at the moment they're in deep with another group called the Cult of Slaughter. Don't know if you've heard of them but their leader, Prolg is deep within their ranks. Or has recruited them for the same goal."

Hadvar seemed surprised.

"A Cult had allied with them? Disturbing indeed. I can't say much on the matter myself. But, if the Emperor himself caught wind of that we'd have instant war again that no body wants anymore."

I agreed.

"It's an inevitable factor I'm afraid. They're using their alliances to secure the dragons on their side. I intend to wipe them out before it's too late."

He looked up at me with his eyebrows so far up his forehead.

"You're going to knock them out yourself? You sure you don't need a hand?"

I smirked.

"No no. I'll be okay. We have different methods to ensure the best course we should take."

* * *

We'd agreed on it eventually on what we had to do and had create a memo in my head to investigate that further. For now, I wanted to go back to Riverwood to catch up with Delphine. However, I'd wandered into what was once Helgen Homestead, to find a book on the floor a bit singed but the interior was legible, enough. It had the Thalmor logo on. I didn't want to read it just yet. Had to take it back to Riverwood to analyse properly. I also found bottles of mead, labled with juniper berries. I clung on to the bottle and close my eyes, imaging the voice of the Stormcloak with the very mention of these bottles of mead. It made the coping of events that much harder. As I looked at the buildings around me, I'd pictured them of how they once were, hearing the chatter amongst the imperials, the Stormcloaks and the towns people. The pain almost became too much to bare as I had noticed my legs becoming wobbly because of it.

As I had come out, I froze as I saw a huge legion of soldiers standing outside with their swords and shields, with Hadvar leading them. They were all hostile towards me. I was in between surprised and not surprised. Somehow.

"This the group you mentioned?" I asked him.

He looked down, shame written on his face.

"The Empire had ordered me to find you on behalf of the Thalmor for treason against them. I really am sorry about all this. I liked you."

I grumbled. Not this again.

"Seriously? You don't believe the truth about the Thalmor? Working alongside to get the dragons on track? Unbelievable." I spoke with frustration.

The other soldiers were confused. Good, they should be.

"Well, here...take this to Tullius..."

I grabbed a piece of paper and a quill, scribbling down more notes regarding the Thalmor's duties. If their leader wanted to speak with me, all he had to do was sent a courier after me and I would be happy to negotiate the tale.

"It's not so much treason as the preparation you had by walking into Riverwood with some stupid reason other than to capture me. I thought you were better than this."

Hadvar frowned.

"You know I can't disobey an order. This will risk war with them and the treaty would be broken." He explained. I knew his words were hollow. He was a nice guy and he wouldn't do this without reason."

"So you're the one going to send me to the executioner yet again? Even though from what I have told you, the Thalmor are partially responsible for the dragon attacks. If not all, but a small part. They're protecting a man named Prolg who is nothing short of wit, deception and baldness."

I told him. He sighed.

"Look, if you want to talk to Tullius then fine. Come with us. We'll take you back to Solitude."

Gods, tell Delphine I may be longer than usual. I had think of a plan. The only way I'd get into Solitude without the Guards knowing my identity was either sneaking in and risk getting exposed quickly, or go in there willingly and sent to their dungeons. I wrote another note for Hadvar to carry. Using them has been handly lately.

"I'll go without resistance. Only if you promise to read those notes that I have given you. Should tell you what to do next."

Hadvar nodded, puttng the second note away. I stood there as one of the soldiers came up behind me, putting cuffs on my back. But as a thief, I had my way around Solitude enough and given the time needed to escort me back to Solitude to deduce an agreement.

So, thankfully, I was able to plot out my next move as they'd dragged me onto a carriage and drifted me away to the north west...


	72. The Move

**AN: Short chap because I am falling asleep writing it. The rest of it will be properly posted in chap 73. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 72**

**The Move.**

I hadn't expected this day would come. But here we are, stuck inside Nightingale Hall, setting up preparations for our new 'cistern'.

No one was happy about the change, but here you have a Daedric Princes protection. Karliah laid the ground rules on what could be and couldn't be done here. It was a bit smaller than we'd wagered but we managed somehow. We'd lost our merchants as well, as none of them wanted to risk themselves setting up shop in a place they wouldn't dare tread in the first place.

We were still close to Riften as we came back and forth, discreetly accessing our things during the night hours. I hadn't heard anything from Petra, I'd expected she'd gone somewhere with Delphine or something like that. She'll be fine, I'm sure of it.

I think Karliah was a bit ashamed and embarrassed about it all. Whether or not she'd receive backlash from Nocturnal herself was unknown, but she never mentioned it as she controlled the situation from within, while we were still getting ourselves settled.

This was one of the reasons I didn't want to be Guildmaster. I wouldn't be able to make decisions like that on a whim, I'm happy to relay the orders, be the eyes and ears but everything else, I simply don't want that responsibility nor the complications that came with it. I was worried the lass would think she would have to do it all on her own. She'll always have myself, Delvin and Vex to keep a lid on things if necessary.

(I know how she feels. A price to pay for ones leadership is to be the very front of the cause...the dedication to let the ideals stay alive. A hard task to manage)

Aye. The load for me would be too much to bare. I know with all of what was going on, that part of it was my fault for letting it get this far and I feel like I've damaged the Guild's reputation somewhat. Some may say I've made the occasional attempt, but in the end...what were we actually trying to achieve?

I had helped out everyone else until they were pretty much half down with all the beds that had been taken to pieces then resembled themselves again in now time. A lot of the members just plonked to bed afterwards. I decided to do so too, only from Karliah's orders. Girl never really slept. I hope she wouldn't over do herself or sacrifice herself to Nocturnal yet again. I still have faith in her to do the right thing, just like with Petra.

I hardly rested that night, worrying about Petra as usual. My dreams weren't too flash either. Although I did find myself on top of a mountain in some weird temple with a shrine of Akatosh. Priest is that you?

(No.)

Alright then. The skies themselves were a pure cascade and the clouds that settled below swallowed the base of the mountain. I heard wings flapping, an Amethyst Dragon flying down and perching itself on a nearby stone carving.

"Evening." I told him. That had to be Hahnubopraan.

"Greetings Brynjolf. I have brought you here to tell you, that there is something happening involving time itself, becoming increasingly unstable..."

I crossed my arms, unsure of what the dragon was on about.

"What makes you say that?" I asked him.

He stretched his wings out.

"I have spoken with the other dovah and we all over sensed it. It may have to do with the fact that Alduin's return was somewhat time related...but Zu'u los ni bek."

He wasn't sure.

"Any contact with Petra?" I had to ask. Just curious and being a concerned boyfriend as all.

He shook his head.

"No. I haven't heard from her. I have spoken with the Realm-Walker recently, who revealed this to me. She wanted me to keep an eye on the Ven do Tiid, the currents of time."

I had heard quite a bit about that lately. Though I was trying to figure what it had to do with anything. But for the Realm-Walker to say it? Don't know what she was playing at either.

"How does a dragon keep an eye on these...currents?" I questioned.

He looked over the mountain, seeing the sun rise in the distance cradled between mountains.

"Dragons are more naturally attuned to the forces of time than mortals are. We are everlasting, but to go back in time to see...to see at all requires using these Currents is the mind of the being that contains it."

That made sense. Dragons and immortality with the power to detect time faults to boot.

"Would Petra have this sense?"

He nodded.

"Petra has inherited our basics and interests. Without the living forever part and being called Vingson, meaning, wingless." He explained.

(Vingson, yes. Makes sense)

"We're supposed to be it's guardians but since Alduin was in control he's diverted us from our fathers true intentions for us. Many did follow him but most went their own way afterwards. Now he must die."

He sounded so quaint and calm about it. It wasn't my job to kill Alduin, but to give all the support Petra needed for that one, fateful day.

"Gotta any tips for the next part?"

I asked that because I know this is turning into a type of mad rush to set things right again. And we're smack down in the middle of it. All of us.

"Hmmm...just be prepared. If you see something unusual, take it to the Throat of the World. Paarthurnax should be able to handle from his end. The Throat has some magical power that's supposed to resonate with the Kel, the Elder Scroll."

No wonder I felt a type weird energy when we there last. I didn't acknowledge at first. But I think now I know why.

"My father has an Elder Scroll according to Petra. Which mean I'll have to go out to find him."

Not that I wanted to of course. What a silly thing to assume that I wanted to. I just have to and a lot of the documents that Petra brought back were alarming, but otherwise unrelated to Elder Scrolls themselves. Maybe one or two references here and there...that's just about it really.

He nodded.

"Just keep asking questions. I'm sure you'll find the answers. I'll see if I can get in contact with the Realm-Walker, so she can discuss the currents with you further. Stay here, I'll be right back."

This was just a dream. Just very short, thankfully enough.


	73. The Plan

**AN: The second part of the previous chapter. Sort of. I really need to stop writing these so damn late lol.**

**Chapter 73**

**The Plan**

Who knows where the mans gone. I just need to find him. And kill him.

We're pooling all our resources together, including the use of our contacts in the other holds, to track down Prolg. We're sticking it pretty thin, with the Thalmor consistently on our hides. I just hope Petra's doing okay. Prolg is resourceful himself, however. That's the only problem. He's also very charismatic and manipulative. He's been like that ever since I've known him. Probably how he got to mother. I've almost come to terms with having to kill him to protect ourselves and everyone else involved.

Delvin had spoken with Astrid, whom was willing to kill anyone standing in our way, which was a bonus. This wasn't just an issue for the Guild, but this counted everyone in Skyrim who were just alive. Alduin's goal is primarily one of destruction that doesn't discriminate. I had finished up with what I had to do with the Guild, ensuring they were kept safe and made my way towards Riverwood to meet up with Petra. I'm certain she's been waiting there for sometime. I was tied up with duties that called for my help, but now I know we're okay for the moment, as I took Lucky and rode towards the small town.

Ultimately, the idea was to track down Prolg and get the Elder Scroll off him. It's going to be sure fire way to Oblivion, but it was critical for us to get him to hand it over. Or, the prefered method of prying it from his cold, dead hands.

Especially with the Thalmor on board. Elves plus dragons equals very bad for business. Once we take him down I'm sure there's going to be another war on our hands. I aim to make sure that we send the truth out to anyone. I'm not exactly comfortable with the idea of it, but I'm afraid we'd be left out of the choice.

I'd arrived in Riverwood before noon, heading towards the Inn and meeting up in Delphine's little hiding place. However, I'd seen Ayisha crying on the footsteps, with two children alongside her, trying to comfort her.

I knelt down beside the young lass and patted her back.

"Hey little kitten." I called her.

"It's...Papa..."

She instantly hugged me and cried all the harder. I looked at the other kids, raising an eyebrow.

"What happened?" I asked them.

The young lad shrugged.

"She said her mama was going to be quick, but the Innkeeper received a message saying that's gone to Solitude."

Solitude? What...

"Yeah she started crying. I think she really misses her."

I had a feeling Ayisha knew otherwise. I have no idea why Petra would return back to Solitude.

I thanked the kids and went inside, taking Ayisha with me and sitting her down on Delphine's bed, putting her little head to rest and trying to calm her down. I rubbed her head and kept her close.

"Hey, hey...where did Mama really go?" I asked her.

She rubbed her eye and sniffed.

"Mama...she...sent a message. Ask Delphine."

I looked up as Delphine and...some old guy I'd assumed to be Esbern walking up the steps. I got up and crossed my arms.

"The little one tells me Petra went to Solitude. Is this true?" I asked her.

Delphine shook her head and introduced me to Esbern as Petra's colleague and walked us downstairs.

"Ahh yes. We'd received a notification from a man named Hadvar, who had arrested her and taken her to Solitude. Presumably for either...something to do with your organization...or because of the Thalmor's association with the Empire. It doesn't exactly spell out hospitality mind you."

Esbern commented.

Arrested? Shor's bones. She always seems to find trouble. I'm gonna assume she's still okay for mean while. I stress about her a lot, but I have to keep the faith.

"Which is odd. Hadvar seems like a nice man." Delphine noted.

We heard noises coming from up the stairs. Turns out it was Ayisha walking down and had stopped crying.

"Mama told me she was going with this man. Maybe it was this Hadvar." She stated.

I browed.

"Did they say where they were going?"

Ayisha started to play with her tail, extremely nervous as her eyes were darted to the floor.

"Uh...Ayisha knows that Mama said she was going somewhere and that she'll be back in a few hours...then courier came and gave Delphine the message. Ayisha is worried."

I held her close by, as she clung on to my leg. Poor lass.

"What else do you know of this Hadvar?" I asked. His head will roll if he so much as touches Petra.

Delphine rubbed her chin.

"He's an Imperial Soldier with family here in Riverwood. Comes by every so often, has a drink then leaves. A Nord if you will. But...it reminds me of a story he told me a few months back when he came...oh Gods.."

I looked at the Breton with confusion.

"What?"

She crossed her arms and looked at the map of Skyrim on the table.

"Sorry, just remembered a story he told me once. He'd come back from Helgen after the Dragon attack there. He mentioned being with a young woman who came back with him after that, and was sort of lost and confused herself."

Esbern was a bit skeptical. He hadn't known Petra for that long so I expected him to be.

"You think that could have been Petra. Anything else?" I wondered. If it was, why would...I had a few theories but...

"Hadvar told me she went to Whiterun. I'd gone there at some stage speaking with Farengar the Court Wizard after I heard the story of the dragon attack. It was my business to figure out the truth and I had known Farengar previously was curious into looking into the dragon attacks while everyone else had their tail between their legs...uh metaphorically speaking." Delphine continued, almost forgetting Ayisha was still in the room.

"I had asked him to find a Dragonstone Tablet that Esbern once mentioned back in the past. It sounded like nonsense but..."

We all looked at the elder man.

"Yes. I recall telling you that and you ignored it. But when everything suddenly went into place it made sense. Didn't really do much else for the rest of the Blades now did it?" Esbern pointed out.

Delphine rolled her eyes.

"We suspected it, but none of us knew when it was going to happen. You can only prepare so much with little detail to go on with. Besides that of course, he wasn't really going anywhere. A few of the people he'd sent had died in the progress of retrieving it. Until he'd found someone. A young woman, frail looking and covered in dirt and cobwebs. I was...surprised to say the least for someone like her wearing basic armor and so forth. I knew then she was something different. Now I know why."

Even back then, it sounded like Petra handled herself pretty well even without the best gear and proves that appearances are indeed deceiving. Still...

"Could she have gone back to Helgen?" Esbern wondered.

"If she had gone back there with this Hadvar fellow, could it have been an ambush?"

I shrugged.

"Anythings possible. I wouldn't have a clue why she'd go back there either. Even the sheer mention of it gives her shivers."

Delphine nodded.

"The only people who know those horrors are those who are there to witness it."

I know Petra at times has told me that she had nightmares for weeks, trying to get the images of fire and death out of her head. So many factors and yet, she still remains a mystery to us all. I've been with her a lot and there's always a few things I don't know about that I find out eventually that still manage to be surprising.

"Exactly. So what's the plan? Head to Solitude and break her out?"

Delphine agreed, however she still seemed troubled.

"I would like to. But the letter states that not to worry about Petra, that she is in capable hands. Whether that means to go get her or not is ambiguous. If it is Hadvar, I'd say he's doing what he can to make sure she stays alive."

I'll forever worry. My head tells me that's she's going to be fine and my heart always argues with me. This always happens to Petra a lot. Her pride or what ever is most likely telling us that she can save herself. She'll need a helping hand for sure.

"I'll go to Solitude then. I'll have to snuff out what's going on. Hadvar sounds suspicious despite your descriptions of him. I'll need to let you know the Guild has moved elsewhere."

Delphine tilted her head.

"The Thalmor?" She assumed.

I nodded.

"Aye. It got a bit messy. Everyone is okay though...Prolg himself lead a team inside the Flagon. Even though they're gone, we didn't take any chances in staying there in case they came back. Simply because of what Petra and I are."

On the run...from the Thalmor mostly. It could be worse, having the Empire itself on our backs. But thanks to Petra's efforts, they won't be a problem.

"Smart move. The Thalmor are very calculated, cunning and dedicated to their cause. Which may make it difficult to be prancing around Solitude like that. They have their influence, but you're also lucky you're not in Markarth where they keep a strict eye on those sorts of things. " Delphine stated.

True. But as Solitude as the Empire's hideout, going against it may sound like a Stormcloak plot to take Solitude or what ever crap gets into their thick skulls.

The plan I had devised involved going straight to Solitude, but at night, and figure a way to find where she was. If I knew Solitude, she'd most likely was being held in the dungeons in Castle Dour. If I was going to get there in time and at night, I had to leave now.

* * *

I wondered if Ayisha should come with me. I'd rather her stay here more with Delphine but, then again, if anything comes up, I may need a second pair of hands. Delphine herself wasn't sure and Esbern didn't know what to think. But, she was like Petra in that regard, resourceful and did what she was told. Most of the time.

I directed them both and mapped out where the new Thieves Guild base was located just in case they needed to get in contact with Karliah for any reason, for resources or for more information. Either way, breaking Petra out from the dungeons was my first priority.

We took Lucky and rode up north as fast as we could. Shor knows what they had planned up there. I couldn't help but think what they would do with her. Chop her head off? Torture her? Hadvar was with the Legion from what Delphine explained and maybe if they were doing it because of what happened with Helgen, or if its something to do with their Thalmor puppeteers. Worst part is if Prolg was with her...Gods don't know what I would do. I'd lose myself entirely.

Thankfully, it just came to sunset when I got to Solitude.


	74. Imprisoned

**AN: A little talk between Petra and Hadvar reveals an interesting situation.**

**Chapter 74**

**Imprisoned**

Hadvar was pleasant enough in escorting me back to Solitude with no questions asked. If I could speak with Tullius, apparently the man who wanted my head off by accident, then we would be able to rectify the situation.

I would have a means to escape even if they confiscated all my gear. I had Nocturnal at my back and the Thieves Guild ready to help out. I feel wrong for asking for their help since I was going to be imprisoned willingly. But what other choice do I have besides getting an ice spike to a face from a prejudiced elf?

I had to be extremely careful in where I had to tread. It would only be a matter of time before my neck would meet the chopping block again. So I had to make sure I had something put in place before it got worse.

We got to Solitude without much issue. I shadowed my head with my hood as I walked past with Hadvar and the other imperial soldiers as they took me to Castle Dour. I kept running figures in my head in response to what ever scenario I came across, that I would have a way out with my own life to escape and deliver more information to the Guild.

Erikur would be able to provide some sort of support. I'd wager. Open doors. Scum of a man, but he's our ally. Gulum-Ei as well owes me a few favours. That sort of connection was crucial to me. The more on my side, the more likely for me to get what I need.

* * *

I held myself up high even with my hands tied. I was confident and proud. But even then, images liked the flash back to Helgen occasionally, making me feel sick. Hadvar and I had gone there, at least I assumed, to see what became of the broken down town. And to be met with a hostile squad wasn't exactly exhuming my own personal taste in men who aren't complete scoundrels. But the look in his eyes tells me that he really didn't want to do it.

He guards my cell as I sit in the dungeons, awaiting my fate and continuing to think things over. Al I could hear was the booming quiet. I had parched down, sitting with my legs crossed and staring at the floor. It would only be a matter of time before I would be free.

Sounds a bit sure doesn't it? It may not like seem what it is because you've never seen me done it. I'd escaped Helgen, be sure as Oblivion I'll escape this. They'll come for me, you'll see.

Hadvar leaned against the wall nearby, refusing to look at me as he had his arms crossed. His attempts to have a neutral face were failing, as he was obviously in compunction with what he had done. None of this was his idea. He'd been used and ordered to capture me. Whether or not it was a Thalmor decision or an Empire one, either way, I am going to get out of this alive and with my head intact.

Simply because this isn't my time to die. Even when I was dead, I came back to life didn't I? Saying that, I'd sacrificed an unknown part of myself to do so. I'm not sure that part is, by Gods, especially Arkay, I'm still breathing.

I want to test to see whether the man knows what he's doing, or what he's contributing to. I'll have to tread carefully to see what he had.

"So who was it...was it Tullius...or was it the Thalmor who wanted my capture? I've pissed off both in recent times I think." I questioned with a joke-filled tone.

"Look they just told me to capture you and how we were going to do it. All I've been told is that you're wanted for treason against the Empire. And you've just admitted that to me. I'd like to know what you actually did." He answered, his voice rather sad.

"I have no shame in admitting what I did. You and I are similar in those respects. We follow orders to stay alive."

I saw a bit of myself in Hadvar. Unsure, just wanting to ensure we both survive but we often regret the actions we take. I'd like to have no regrets, but the subconscious prefers to get in the way.

"So...was that why you came to Skyrim?" He asked me.

I rose an eyebrow. Yes...you could say that.

"In a sense, yeah. I hadn't planned to be taken with a whole bunch of Stormcloaks. I received a letter came north and then Helgen happened."

Most of it was still a blur and awfully painful to recall that my stomach burned again.

"Yet you feel ill when you think about it. That's a sign. You bear heavy burdens there and you had me thinking you were just some poor sod unintentionally wrapped up in it. Now it seems you're the center."

I smirked.

"Looks like that doesn't it? Not my intention but you turned your back on me..."

Vivid images of that day came back to me. Coming off the cart in dready silence as I looked at Hadvar, confused as to why I was there...his Captain mouthing off the way she did. I was going to die even when I wasn't on the damn list.

"I had no choice." He told me, his tone weak.

I sighed.

"The whole thing might not be as memorable to you as it was to me, but..you have absolutely no idea what I've been through since then. And that little book that I found? That contained all the proof needed to say that dragon attack was planned."

He scowled, unhappy with my words. Good. Get angry.

"You think that day didn't have an impact on me either? Honestly?" He said, oddly offended.

"I felt sick for days on end. I went to Whiterun...went to some tomb and fought off undead. Came back, the Jarl wanted me to take down some damn Dragon! How...just because I happened to be there at Helgen and survived to tell the tale. Why didn't you fight off a Dragon? You have experience! You survived!"

His face fell. I wanted him to feel every inch of my anger towards him. Just...

"You followed orders. Yes. We lived together yes..." I said speaking low with a bit of impact.

"But...you wouldn't have believed to what had happened to me since then. You and your legion have to worry about Stormcloak Rebels. While I've fought off Dragons because I have to. I'm the only one who can."

It was then he finally looked at me with a twitch in his lip. I felt an oddity sensation.

"I'm sorry that's all happened to you Petra. But I've never forgotten that day we had. You have a different set of eyes now. Yours are filled with fire. Back then they were empty. When I saw you get off that carriage you had the look of woman already dead." He commented.

I wasn't aware. My mind focused on the pain but not much else. The flashes indicate basic images from before the attack.

"It was probably better the dragon attacked us. You wouldn't be here because of it. And I'd rather be killing Dragons, then my own brothers out there on the field." He spoke with such sombre.

I..hadn't. I...

"Don't think I don't have any feelings because I had to take you in here. I don't like this any more than you do. If there was another way, I'd have taken it."

More flashes to Helgen made me feel faint. The roars...the sky, burning. So much pain that it had caused me, yet, I hadn't thought what it had done to others.

"I've had nightmares too since that day. I'd taken comfort in the fact that I wasn't alone. I'm a man filled with his life ahead of him but isn't sure where the next day will lead him. I'll never forget a single bit of it."

Oh Gods...no.

"Hadvar...I'm...sorry." I said. Great Petra, you're a fool. But make sure he wasn't saying it to make me feel weak. I stood up and grasped the iron bars. I was foolish to think I was the only one affected by it all. I'm sure these sorts of experiences make their marks on more than one person. I'm just being selfish and ignorant.

"Don't be. We're coping in different ways. But you know, what we did in the cave..."

I looked at suspiciously. I can barely remember the cave. I recollected killing a bear and some Stormcloaks. I was dead to the world like he said and my mind was in a catatonic state, having no idea what I was thinking, or doing. I wouldn't have known how many I killed or how long it took. I recall Whiterun and everything after that quite vividly. The parts of Helgen are just...fire and death.

"You're right. We are coping in our own little ways. I hadn't been myself after Helgen. I felt exposed and raw and just not with it. I followed your orders to survive and I did. Why would anything else matter?"

His face was just written with something that I couldn't fathom, like he was getting to a point that I wasn't understanding. That's the vibe I was getting anyway.

"You...don't remember?" He questioned, softer than normal. Hadvar...what are you implying?

I shook my head.

"Uhhh...no?"

He looked down, face a bit...red. This didn't look too promising.

"Hadvar...what did I do?" I asked, staring him down.

He started to fidget.

"You say it wouldn't have been memorable for you. I said I didn't forget it. For good reason. I thought...well, the both of us were...kind of sort of lost in the moment..."

What? If this meant what I thought he meant. Oh no...

"Wait, you're kidding me. We actually..." I sputtered with eyebrows raised and skepticism running high. But he nodded. This is...even if it was true, this is definitely not going to bode well with Brynjolf. But Hadvar's face looked so heartbroken I felt nothing but pity.

"Why would I? I would have...I don't..."

Hadvar raised his hands defensively.

"I knew you were out of it...and I feel back for taking advantage of it. But you just kissed me and it went on from there. I really am sorry."

Why would I? No, he's gotta be lying.

"I'm sorry if it didn't mean anything to you. But you know after that day I couldn't get it out of my head." He spoke with such strain. That pit just came back to my stomach as well as I rain my hand over my head, trying to get a grip. Small flashes came back to me, reminding me of how I pressed himself against the wall towards the end of the cave. Goodness what was I thinking? I fell into the primal urges and couldn't stop myself. Great Petra. You're only finding this out now? You really are a terrible person.

"No, I should be the one apologizing. It was just, relief I felt getting out of all that mess. I never knew it took a turn like that." I told him, crossing my arms. I was in such a trance I had no idea what I was thinking or doing, like I asleep.

He sighed.

"So it was just a mistake? I understand." He told me. Gods, him and his puppy face. And he seemed so disappointed and saddened like that. But he had to know...

"It was what it was. But...it's coming back to me now, seeping through the blurs and the blank parts of my conscious memory. I might of have been thanking you, at the time, if for what ever I was in that state, the only way I knew how."

He gave a small smile, albeit with a bit of tongue in cheek.

"Is that how you thank people in general?" He joked. Oh Gods, here come the flirtations.

I glared at him.

"What? No! Look, I'm pretty casual when it comes to these things. Well, I was until I became involved with someone else."

Hadvar's smile got wider. Wait, how do that make sense? He may have pretended to be happy for me, but I know it had to be killing him. But I'm not worth his time. It wouldn't work. My hearts been claimed. Like we had discussed the other night, I am all of Bryns.

"He's a lucky guy."

I'm considering slapping myself several times over because of this. Why did this just come to me now? What is it with me and filling in the blanks in my life? I'm having a small feeling that my whole life in Cyrodiil wasn't what it was supposed to be. Especially of matters like this. I'd been with many men, perhaps I used to be like that. I can't think back that clearly. It's too hard. Helgen traumatized us both.

"Indeed. In fact, I figure even though I did send them a letter saying not to rescue me, they're probably making some plan to do so anyway."

Hadvar wasn't used to the shenanigans we got up to. And they were usually the best ones. The look of confusion on his face was hilarious. Still, I suppose we're in the clear of...what we did...I think. He didn't appear to, but I was. Though, I honestly felt nothing from it, but judging from just observing the soldier, he enjoyed it more than he was supposed to, having that affect on him. I could tell. Brynjolf occasionally had the same expression when he looked at me.

And...by now my role seems to be getting involved in all sorts of crazy, bizarre adventures that end up doing something strange to me. This sits far below being a Vampire, which sits underneath being a ghost, to which, being a dragon is so far damn the list it's not funny.

Being imprisoned wasn't so bad. I never had to be, since I was always so cautious in my work, picking locks and pickpocketing. Hard at times, but I kept watch of my surroundings. If I wanted out, I would have been long gone back to Riverwood by now.

"So, any word what they're going to do with me?" I asked. I wasn't scared. Only curious.

"Not yet. They've got Elenwen coming from the Embassy. Says she wants a word with you about what happened at the party." Hadvar revealed.

The Elf bitch herself? I'm flattered.

"I still want my word with Tullius, understand?" I told him sternly.

He shook his head.

"The general has little time to deal with these problems. He claims the Thalmor does it's own business and prefers not to be involved."

That asshole.

"Would he prefer to let them chop off the head of the only one who could possibly properly deal with the dragon menace? Again?" I scolded, eyes widened with anger.

Hadvar looked away.

"I don't know what they're going to do with you. All I know is who's coming to see you an-"

I noticed something strange on the wall beside me, I tilted my head, seeing something akin to...marks. The ominous orange and yellow glows reminded me of the word walls to which I had seen elsewhere. But. I was in a dungeon? Gods know what in the world this meant.

I raised my hand to stop Hadvar from speaking while I investigated this sudden session of obscure magics or illusionary, one or the other. The words themselves...spelt out something I had yet to know. It wasn't a shout. Felt like a name.

"Sotrahkun..." I muttered, feeling the power behind the words as I absorbed them. I didn't exactly understand them but...

"What is it?" Hadvar asked.

He must not be able to hear the chants. Or he may have. I don't know. He's not like me.

"Hadvar, the book you confiscated will tell all the details regarding the attack. It explains how the Thalmor got in touch with the Cult of Slaughter, whom found and pledged the services to Alduin once he had returned. I also discovered that Prolg had found out about me, and invited me to Skyrim. There's an insidious plot to destroy the world here Hadvar, and both Alduin and the Thalmor intend to enact it."

He sighed.

"What about you. What makes you special to them?" He asked.

He didn't know.

"I'm the Dragonborn. You must know the legends yourself as a nord..." I told him.

Hadvar seemed genuinely surprised by the notion.

"By the Nine. So the stories were true. Though, was it your ma or pa who was the dragon?" He asked. That was a poor joke.

"Very funny. So you must know I can kill dragons permanently by absorbing their souls and gaining their power." I continued.

"That much I understand. But it wouldn't be out of the league of the Thalmor wanted you dead. How do I know this isn't just a trick of yours?" He questioned.

How dare he? After all we've been through. Sigh, I suppose I should demonstrate.

"You have to know the thu'um then. I learn in an instant what takes years for the most determined to know about shouts. Here."

I had to something that was a bit more discreet and wouldn't alert the guards as such.

"_FEIM!_"

I felt myself change and looked at my hands and legs, seeing myself as a blue aura then stared out at a stunned Hadvar.

"You're...a ghost?" He quivered. I think he seemed genuinely frightened of me.

Soon after I came back to my normal form again, smirking at the man who had no idea what to do.

"In a way. Attacks can't harm me, although I can't touch anyone. Just in case I need to get away in the middle of an attack."

I could see it in his eyes that he was currently in a sharp, divided state. I would completely understand if he couldn't. It was worth giving it a try. But, if Tullius wasn't going to see me and if Elenwen was on her way down, I had to make the choice on whether to flee or to confront the woman myself. I'd let Hadvar down if I did kill her, restarting the war with the Dominion in the process. It was a hard decision, but I'd rather start the war will at least decent back up. Plus, knowing the methods of punishment and torture they go through, they'd kill Hadvar for even letting me escape. Unless...

"Okay, so here what we can do. You let me out and you can come with me back to my group. Join us." I asked him.

Again, he was in conflict within himself.

"I have a duty with the legion that I must adhere to. General Tullius and Legate Rikke would become utmost suspicious in my role here." He explained.

I figured as much.

"Then take the book to Tullius when you see him. Don't give it to Elenwen." I told him.

I guess at this stage if Hadvar keeps the book, there'd be more a chance to expose the Dominions plots against the foundations of this very world. He had to make sure it was kept safe from any prying eyes beside the Empire in itself. I hope they would have enough sense to keep themselves from running any outright war with them straight away. I prayed they had enough common sense.

"I'll try. I don't know what he'll do though." He said, sadly.

I wouldn't want him in the same room as me anyway. I told myself to speak with Elenwen and try to ring out as many answers out of her as possible. I had to expose the elves for what their true intentions were.

"We'll see." I said, sitting back down again.

I'm telling myself why do I put myself through it? I then said to myself, Petra, just go along. You're going to be fine. You'll find a way because you must. Had you have been like anyone else, you would have died a long time ago.

Even in the state I was in after Helgen and even if I can't remember the majority of it, I still feel like destiny was guiding me or I was simply writing my own fate without an outsider influence. I'd made the mark on poor Hadvar, who couldn't let go of any unsaid feelings for me. He needs to find a better woman, seriously.

I felt for the man , just not in that way. I thought in good terms that we could be allies but now he was standing by with thousands of thoughts on his mind, trying to suss me out and himself.

* * *

I wondered what Brynjolf and Ayisha were doing, putting out the interesting yards to figure a way to save me. I really wish they didn't, but I wasn't going to stop them had the mystical streams floating around me. Not noticeable of course, I was only daydreaming. But..Sotrahkun...what did it mean? I fell asleep, unaware I had been transported to the Laaglein. Interesting.  
I was on some kind of mountain, oddly flat, like it was just made that way. A huge river divided the sides. Clouds surrounded the mountain and they were everywhere, making it hard to see.

I wandered over to the river, and looked at my reflection. I could see the image of my dragon self before me, almost scared me to death that. But the water was an odd shade of blue. Very bright and sparkling, actually looking pretty deep for something as wide as three houses.

I saw white boots walking out of the clouds, red cloak inbound and smirk on the face cradled by silver white hair and warmth.

"This is the Tiidbahyek, or what you call, the Time Stream." The Realm-Walker stated.

"The Stream is unstable, and I think you're the reason why."

Thankfully I wasn't surprised by that.


	75. Escape

**AN: Weird stuff gonna happen people...gonna break your minds.**

**Chapter 75**

**Escape**

You know, when you've dodged death dozens of times and been in the middle of so many things, it makes you think whether or not you're liable for your mistakes in life that leads you this way. Personally, I'd become apathetic to most of it. Or because the issue with being imprisoned wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Or because this was the least scary or unknowing as everything else that's happened to me.

I understand the Realm-Walker is trying to help and she wants to explain and for me to understand. I'm having a feeling she's pulling strings she's not supposed to. And I am at fault for this, time stream being a bit whack, she may have gone too far.

That's just my opinion of course. But seeing that writing on the wall makes me wonder. I feel a bit strange after seeing it. It's supposed to let know about something but I have no idea what. It's some kind of puzzle that may come to me in time, but for now I'll remain vigilant and hope it would come to me eventually.

The river with the odd vividly blue glow continued to stream down with little ripples in between. Didn't seem broken but I certainly was getting interesting vibes from it, like I was connected to it or something. Dragons are those annexed by time itself, born from the veins of creation. My very soul must be intertwined with it, just like all the others.

I wonder if the stream itself contains the very knowledge of past, present of future of our world. Though, from what I had learned from the Realm-Walker, it was the walk-way for an infinite number of worlds and that the Laaglein was the border that bridged reality from other realities.

For a while this world had been mundane and had a lack of finesse about it. Ordinary, filled with ordinary people. It wasn't bad. You get into the magic side of it, and you either understand it, or your mind explodes from the sheer amount of information and knowledge partaken from it. Who'd known a thief such as myself, would still be alive to consume much more than those dedicated to the studies of the magical world.

With what the Realm-Walker said about me as well, there's been strange emotional raptures within myself, I was neither angry, nor sad...just...neutral.

"My fault huh? Do you happen to know why that is?" I asked. It didn't hurt and I had no knowledge for the reasons why. Just assumptions at this stage

She sighed.

"It may not seem like it here because time is still okay in this world, but it's breaking others by not following the structure given to it. My theory is that it's due to the fact of what you are...fateless. It'll fly over your head if I go on. But the point is to ensure we don't cause a total collapse of time itself. Or Akatosh'll be furious."

No she was right. She explains too much I wouldn't be to get it all. But I hadn't had much choice in the matter.

"I'll attempt what ever you suggest. I'm in the dungeons at Castle Dour at the moment and supposedly First Emissary Elenwen is going to have a chat with me. Perhaps then I'll know more. But let me ask you...did you know that the Thalmor were involved?" I questioned.

She rubbed her chin.

"No...no I didn't. Most worlds I've been to usually just have the dragons for themselves. I guess this is the first time I've seen them as allies. Makes for a fascinating conversation."

I grumbled. She made it sound so trivial when it was downright serious.

"Then what do we do? I was hoping to get a word in with General Tullius about it, but apparently he's too damn busy with the war. I don't look forward to having a word with Elenwen. I've seen what she's done to people under her 'care'." I spoke with air quotes.

"You have a plan of escape?" She questioned, eyeing me down.

I shrugged.

"Hadvar's guarding my cell so there's no doubt that he holds the key. I've also seen a shadowmark nearby for an exit, but, he's watching me very closely so if I attempt he'll know."

She nodded.

"Any chance of fishing for the key? You're a thief, you should have a plan of attack." She told me with a smirk on her face. And that smirk wasn't much of an indicator of a particular idea that was ringing in her head.

Much has changed in the last few months. I don't generally mind going back to what I was doing, where it was steady and I lived off what I 'earned' I'm not a huge fan of using or dealing with magic because I wasn't raised to know a lot about it, except for my grandfather. Bout it really. If her suggestion was what I thought it was, she must have caught on to our conversation.

"You really think I want to play mind games with him to free myself? I'm not that type of bitch..." I called out.

She laughed.

"Break his heart or break his neck. Your choice."

Yeah right. Sigh...I've put him through enough. He didn't deserve this.

"Say I did...are you expecting me to use my abilities to get the Oblivion out of here?" I called out.

She nodded.

"You're supposed to continue onwards to Sky Haven Temple anyway. So many interruptions and yet, you're worried about a single damned distraction to set yourself free. You and your silly priorities." She teased.

I groaned. Time to bring out fathers old saying back again.

"For goodness sake fine. I'll do it. Only if you'll think it'll work."

She chuckled.

"You'll be fine. Just get yourself back to Delphine and Esbern as fast as you can. You're going to need them."

* * *

A flash of light summoned me out of the dream world as I stared at a familiar ceiling. I was laying in bed, staring upwards in stumbled thought. Grey, dark and made of stone. Now was I talking about the roof? Or...

I sat up, staring out of my cell as Hadvar was leaning against the wall nearby, looking at me with that puppy face of his.

"Sleep well?" He asked. Great. He reminded me of Bryn when he said that. No...no one replaces Brynjolf.

I wasn't thinking him as a fool. Not at all. I'd already told him I was with somebody else. So any sudden attempts to make him think otherwise would make him know it was a trick. I had to make an act similar to the one I did at Windhelm.

I got up slowly and wandered towards the bars. This made me sick. But...I had to do what I hated...

"How good was I anyway?" I started off as I retied my ponytail.

Hadvar rose an eyebrow. Confused. Somewhat innocent in that regard that it was like he was a boy trapped in a mans body.

"What?"

I chuckled as I leaned against the side wall.

"You know what I mean..." I spoke, eyes clinging on to his.

Then his face turned beat red.

"Oh...um...very good."

Are all men like this? Soft and out of real words when it gets a bit personal. If I could get him in a similar state and get his ass over here I could figure out where the keys were. I've pick-pocketed many times before. It shouldn't be too hard. I had to keep acting despite the wrench in my stomach twisting harder.

"Ah...I see. You know...I haven't seen you in a while. And like I said, my memory has gotten clearer since then. I must admit it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

He bit his lip as I watched his eyes rip off mind, struggling to keep contact. Good. Making him squirm uncomfortably.

"Uh...yeah...but...didn't you say you were with somebody?"

I had prepared myself for that question.

"Yeah but he's not as good as you."

No...not really. Bryn's more...heart felt. I honestly didn't feel much for it. Tension and ultimate relief for being alive sort of 'reward'.

"Oh...oh...um...thanks?"

I tend to attract the awkward men now don't I? I got off the wall and clung to the cell rails closest to where he was standing.

"I suppose if Elenwen prefers to have dozens of arrows flung to my torso, my body burning, hung or the classic beheading, then why aren't I being offered the finest pleasures before I part to Sovngarde hm?"

He gulped.

"Look I already told you I don't know what's going to happen. I don't even know if Elenwen wants to kill you. If you just answers her questions and do as she asks you'll be fine. They are seriously the last people you want to mess with."

I knew that and I messed with them anyway. Now look where I am.

"I'd rather die than serve them. The are purposely going to destroy the world for some stupid reason. And the whole White-Gold Concordat is just some scheme to help speed things along."

I could tell he was conflicted as his face spoke about it all without him saying a word about it. I didn't like doing this to him but I really had no other option that didn't involve either of us possibly dying. But, he got off the wall at least. Good. He came closer. Great.

He actually looked pretty pissed off to be honest.

"You don't want to die in the methods they use, trust me. Appeal yourself to them and agree, so that you may have a chance. I don't want you to die." He spoke softly but with the anger behind it.

Of course you don't.

"Too bad. You brought this on yourself Hadvar. I'm going to die. Unless you help me get out." I told him with the sneer in my tone.

He grumbled.

"You may be right but there's not much we can do. If you're not lying to me then I don't know what to do."

I rolled my eyes.

"I have a group ready to enact on a plan. I'm following the best course of action and you're prohibiting because of some law and code you have to follow. This is for the good of the Empire, I swear it. Or are you afraid of the repercussions?" I asked him.

I was definitely making him uncomfortable, that was for sure.

"No one wants to get killed because a mistake they made. It's humiliating." He admitted.

I smirked. Such a loyal dog.

"But it's a mistake keeping me here locked up when I could be saving the world right now. But, I'd rather you live since you helped me in Helgen. I would...definitely owe you..."

I grabbed hold of his collar and with force I kissed him. He was certainly stunned by that stage, then kissed back as I ran my hands all over his body, trying to find the keys. I'd focused on what my hand was doing, rather than the burning feeling within me I continued to feel his tongue in my mouth. By Gods...by the time my hand sifted underneath that his armour, his hard on trembled underneath it. He's really anxious about it too. But I had to keep him distracted long enough.

Eventually, I found a pocket with a set of keys. Perfect. I pulled them out swiftly as I pushed Hadvar back and I myself stood back, swinging the keys on my finger and smirked.

"Gah! You...you tricked me...you insufferable witch!" He spat with his face still crimson. He didn't mean that of course. He's just furious I was playing around with him.

I chuckled. Wow...it was entertaining to see him angry like that.

"I say I was more than 'very good' after what I felt down there." I joked. I felt bad, but I had to make light of it. He tried opening the gate himself, but, my plan had worked. The Realm-Walker's plan, actually. So now I had the means to escape through the exit the Guild had made for any other members who found themselves in similar sticky situations. But I still needed my gear. Time for step two.

"You tell them the truth Hadvar. You tell Tullius himself how I escaped, on how my feminine wiles were irresistible. I honestly mean you no harm old friend, but that's just how it's gotta be. And again, you didn't listen to reason. So go. I'll be long gone."

I watched him grit his teeth and mosey on towards the exit. I think his mind was filled with misbegotten lust and desire. I've had experience with Imperials. And Nords. I know how to make their heads spin.

The trick is to do so with the intention of making their minds warped and forgetful. It's actually part of that Thief game too. Although, I guess it's the guards part to make them feel a bit aroused. Last time I played that game it got heated. Not in the bad way of course. Ahem...

* * *

Anyway, he had stormed out as planned, then I quickly unlocked the cell door and scurried around the room and grabbed my gear and checked that it was all there twice. Bow, Chillrend, Nightingale Blade, my general assortment of goods and my gold, all surprisingly still there. But...the book...

Shit...the book!

"Looking for this?"

I turned to see Elenwen in her smug bitchiness holding the black book and the smile on her face just stung me with it's arrogant bite. I held back the need to scream into her stupid elven frame.

"Ah yeah. Didn't think anyone would have caught you in the act of actively trying to destroy the world? You know the Empire will catch on to it, irregardless if they have that book or not."

Elenwen chuckled.

"Don't think they would even care or notice before it's too late and they're all scurrying out, lost and calling out for their mothers. However at this point, since your little act at the party itself has made us wary of your real intentions Dragonborn. Alduin has proven to be a valuable ally and ensures that he will direct his...dragon soldiers on our enemies and to spare our allies. Quite the nifty agreement don't you think?"

I sweat I will strike her down right now if I could.

"Yeah no one actually likes you or your group. Putting Talos worship to the boiler made things worse. Stamping it out completely isn't the best course of action. You elves never made any sense to me." I told her.

She shrugged.

"No, but our goals remain the same to a degree. Even if your...pathetic brain doesn't understand it. We've locked the provinces tight with our rule and our forces and tactics will overwhelm if anyone dared to try face us again. And I doubt the Empire would want themselves locked in another war. That would be against everyones intentions."

Yes because in the end death itself is the last part of the plan.

"So what happens now?" I asked.

She smirked.

"You have made your mark against us, Dragonborn. But I have been told that we need you alive for the moment. And-"

* * *

Wait...why did everything just go dark? I looked around, just...black.

"Elenwen if this is just a sick joke I swear to Talos I'll shove my blade right up your arse!" I taunted.

No answer.

Where was I? Not in the Soul Cairn? No...everything seemed empty. Where was I?

_Petra..._

_Petra..._

_Petra..._

"**WHAT?"** I screamed. Those whispers calling my name from every direction were already driving me mad.

Nothing yet again. I was, again alone in the dark. I breathed heavily, unsure of my true location. Where am I?

Petra...

arteP

What the...

"**THIS ISN'T FUNNY!**"

Where..am...I?

"**WHO ARE YOU?**"

My voice just echoed into the abyss. Figures I'd be left in a place...a void. Fantastic...

What was I going to do?

* * *

"Ahh it seems I was wrong."

The Realm-Walker herself appeared out of nowhere, stressed a bit as she rubbed her forehead. Scared me to death nearly.

"For goodness sake don't do that!" I scolded, trying to get my heart to calm down.

"Sorry...you called to me while I was in the middle of my investigation." She stated.

Wait, that...

"That wasn't you just now?" I queried. My mind was burning.

Her eyes went from one side to the other

"Uh...no...hmm...strange"

"What is it?" I asked. What is going on?

"This looks like a Time displacement. Damn it...I need to get everyone on this. Don't worry, we'll get you out. Somehow you've been transplanted outside of time itself. Don't panic."

What? Out...side of time? Realm-Walker what in Oblivion...

I could see the same writing on the ground before me as it was written on the wall in the jail cell. There's that word again.

_Sotrahkun_. Come on make sense will you!

"Hey, what does this mean?" I asked her. I am so confused right now...

She turned to look at the dragon language.

"Sotrahkun. Oh great. This again."

I looked at her weirdly.

"Again? You mean you've seen this before?"

She rubbed her face, annoyed at something. I was annoyed myself, but I've never seen the Realm-Walker this distressed before.

"Means the situation is getting critical. Look...I don't know what else to do. I want to tell you more but I'm not sure if that will make things better or worse."

I'm tired of all this secrecy. If my entertainment value was violating the laws of time and it was going to cause serious damage, then this had to stop.

"Okay Realm-Walker. Start talking. What is going on...really? Don't give me that cryptic shit. Just tell me."

She sighed. I'd known her to be calm, cool and collected but this was really bizarre to see, like this wasn't the Realm-Walker at all.

"We'd been collecting reports of the name appearing in random worlds, across time itself in each of them. We've summarised it's a message. From one of the reports and details, it's said Sotrahkun is the name of a very special dragon. For all we know it could be Akatosh sending us a message but it's unclear and ambigious. One of our...uh...sources says this dragon is 'white and pure with feathers'. What that means...no idea."

I furrowed my brow and crossed my arms.

"Feathers?"

She nodded.

"Thats what our source said. Proclaimed it as such. I'm still looking into it. For now, it's telling us something. Something is definitely coming and I don't know if it spells good or bad. Sotrahkun is said to be a good dragon, but I'm rather anxious and incredulous of that statement. It's just odd how it's come out of nowhere and now it's everywhere. But that's for me to worry about. Now, I need you to go back somehow. And we'll do everything we can to make sure these displacements stop happening. To you at least. You're lucky you still have my ring. Keep it on you. And keep doing what you're doing."

I nodded. I'm still perplexed as to what the entirety of the situation meant. Time splintering or so other nonsense. I feel like she's trying to do the right thing at least. But...this Sotrahkun. This Dragon is calling out to me. What is it?

"Stay still."

* * *

"Petra?"

I opened my eyes, seeing the glittering skies above me. That voice, I knew that voice...

I sat up. Seeing myself on the ground. I looked at the glows pulsating on the Verity Ring as they slowed to a halt then stopped glowing altogether. I found myself starting at it for a long time.

"Lass?"

I looked passed the ring, seeing Brynjolf squatting beside me.

"Bryn?" I muttered.

He looked at me with much concern.

"Something...weird just happened now. Did you just feel that?"

I didn't know what to tell him. But I hugged him nonetheless and felt him rub my back. I so...puzzled and I honestly didn't know what was going on. Sotrahkun...a white dragon. What did it mean? Was it calling out to me?

"Hey, hey...everything alright?" He asked.

I smiled as I felt myself going warm. My head hurt, but Bryn was here and just him being present and holding me made me feel better.

"I've missed you." I told him, admittedly. I then felt him smile.

"Missed you too. Anything that you want to talk to me about?"

I can't lie to Bryn. Not really. But I was too tired. I was exhausted...mentally so. Too much.

"Not right now. I just...want to lay with you. Where are we anyway?"

According to him, we had arrived in Dragon Bridge. I swear I had just been talking with Elenwen in Castle Dour. What in Oblivion. This was giving me a headache. He stated that. Perhaps I wasn't losing my mind that, he just appeared here as well, then saw me laying on the ground nearby.

He was with Ayisha, but she too had disappeared. I was about to panic, until Bryn told me about the note the Realm-Walker left him, saying she was in safe hands. Huh...she visited him too, so it seems. By safe hands I'd imagine either Delphine or back with the Thieves Guild. Either or...

We rented a room at the Four Shield's Tavern and collapsed on the bed. We cuddled one another...not really saying a word. My brain's been speared and I just want to be with Bryn for now. I know I'll have to tell him about Hadvar eventually, but not now...not here. I am content with what we have here... Brynjolf understood that much at least. I could hear him breath and sigh as he rubbed my back. I could feel him swallow as chin was on my shoulder, as was mine on his. The silence was nice.

I thanked Brynjolf for bringing a sense of normalcy to my life for once.


	76. Alduin's Wall

**AN: Aaaand another main quest related chapter**

**Chapter 76**

**Alduin's Wall**

Imagine one day you're selling bogus crap to get decent coin and the next you're dealing with dragons and the odd abomination or two. You then imagine how it gets that way, then the whole of time just collapses on itself. Ayisha and I were originally heading to Solitude, but in a split second that did my head in, she was gone, only a note from the Realm-Walker saying she was alive and that I would find Petra out on the road.

I wanted to believe the white haired lass. I did. But when it's sudden like that, it makes you question what just happened. I found Petra, on the ground in the middle of the night like she'd woken up from a bad dream. Her face was pale and her eyes widened and hardened at the prospect of her possible distress. She was too tired to talk and so was I.

I held her while we slept, my head trying to come to terms with a sudden shift of events. Petra was holding me close, not really wanting to let go. She'll talk to me when she's ready. And if that Hadvar had done anything to her while she was there, I was going to bust teeth out of his mouth.

That being said, something definitely felt off. Everything was the same but...different. Couldn't pinpoint what it was though. Petra was here and...Ayisha wasn't. There had to be a reason why Ayisha just disappeared like that. And I know that Petra would want to find her regardless, but we were left with our minds cracked and wounded, needed the sweet mercy of sleep to heal the scars.

I'm desperate to get everything the way it was. Just us and the Guild. But it was causing more problems every time we tried to. Petra had some duty to herself and I was going to ensure what ever plan she had was going to go as smoothly as it could, as Delphine herself explained the details.

Whether it's due to...time itself? I dunno. I've been put through enough to understand the importance of time, the way that Hahnubopraan emphasized the tethers between the dream world and the so called Currents of Time.

I look at Petra, in the middle of all this. I can't tell what she's thinking, but what she's feeling...She's tense and afraid. I stroked her cheek, that thin little face of hers...hardened as well, her eyelids twitched. What was she dreaming?

I had trouble sleeping. It was making me feel sick to the point where my mind couldn't focus. I was worried too much about Petra and had occurred. What has her so down pat with refusal to talk other than a tired mind.

I then wonder what Talos would do in my position. He would conquer all as he had done. For all that we'll ever do, will never match up, but we had to try. Petra, while she might not say it, but she cares about the world around her. She may steal for a living, aye, but that's not the point. Her very spirit was born to defend it, but that chaos-inflicted heart of hers is grabbed and squashed when ever fate sees it fit. She has to make her own fate and not let it take it's own course.

I've never been much a believer and you should know that by now. But so much of Prolg's lessons has burned into my skull it's hard to repress the logicality of the life of Talos himself and the essence of Godhood. And...that damned Priest has said nothing at all for a while now, making me believe he's up to something.

I just want the power to protect her, but they make it so damn difficult when they put all the pressure on her like they do and make her seem she's the key to everything. No. She must do as she so chooses. They wouldn't choose her otherwise.

"What do they truly want with you?" I muttered as I continued caress her cheek.

"What is going on in that little head of yours?"

* * *

We got up in the morning, with Petra still abnormally silent and justified meaning of her words was distressing. Although we had something to eat, she then spoke of meeting up with Delphine and Esbern to go to Karthspire, to find out about Alduin's Wall. She seemed very calm, but her eyes screamed trouble from within. I've never wanted to push stuff like that out of her but she was seemingly collected in that regard.

The least off-the-wall part of it was the horses. My head was heavy as it was and I decided that they were just there. We both rode them to Riverwood and made haste as fast as we could. Delphine felt this was her last trip and gifted Orgnar with complete ownership of the inn.

We'd spoken with the members of the blades about what had happened, although Petra didn't describe any more details other than she escaped and a particular book that she had found in Helgen had evidence of the Thalmor's involvement with the Dragons and that it explained that the Cult of Slaughter had allied themselves with Alduin and that Petra's invitation to Skyrim was not an accident, forcing her in some twisted plot of hers.

I was only learning this myself just now, but Petra didn't have as much detail as she normally would, only that they would need to continue onward to Sky Haven Temple to find the wall. Delphine and Esbern agreed without question and prepared themselves to go to Karthspire..

We rode to the Forsworn infested camps, across boardwalks avoiding and countering attacks. They used an assortment of weapons...self-made swords, bows and some had magic. It was a cloudy day and we made sure we left none alive in the juniper tree and rock filled mountainside of the Reach.

We'd gone up the steps towards the interior and fought off more forsworn living there as Petra took the lead with Delphine in the darker depths of this dreaded cave. Forsworn make no sense to me as nearly naked men and women. Basically, the reachmen were more barbaric than nords themselves, so they say we're a rowdy bunch? Take a look at the the bones and fur they wear. Entirely primitive.

There was an area we came across, filled with puzzles Esbern claimed were from ancient Akavari culture inside this little cavern, with very little sunlight seeping in from above, shining on the trees growing on the walls and other minor vegetation. I wasn't much into the history lessons, wanting to get this over and done with. Not just for myself either. But, Petra, the clever thief managed to get us far enough, with the assortment of tricks and mysteries she had solved, like the pillars, the stone panels of death and then finally coming across some weird marking on the floor before a stone face that according to the old man is Reman Cyrodiil. Huh.

He then examined the marking on the floor, stating it was a blood seal and that only that the blood of the dragonborn can open it. Petra understood, taking out a dagger she had and made a small cut on her wrist, very careful she didn't hit any tendons deep enough, but that made my heart jump a little. She's just activating the trigger Brynjolf, no need to feel anxious...

The blood dripped into the seal, causing it to glow and the whole room to quake as the door opened slowly. My question is were the Akavari vampires or something? A method, while good, it prevents the unworthy from entering, But you'd lose so much blood that way. But, Petra was fine as Delphine wrapped her wrist with some cloth to prevent her from bleeding out more. Old Man Esbern was more impressed with the stone work if anything else. Has he always been this obsessed?

Finally, we had found what we were looking for as we walked up more steps, along side the long stone table, seeing a huge carving embedding in the wall, which was very...detailed. Esbern lit the braziers with his torch, then the four of us tried to make sense of it, as Esbern gladly explained the significance in the matter of the stories of the Dragon War and how the Tongues had sent Alduin away...then oddly describing the Oblivion that happened in between. Didn't know how they linked but they did. He finally then pointed out the end of the wall, with the Dragonborn defeating Alduin at the end of time.

I saw Petra standing there, looking at the middle of the wall. Her face was blank, her eyes fixated on the the picture itself.

"See anything there with any meaning?" I asked her.

She rubbed her head.

"Not sure. You see the story doesn't make sense. It looks like they used a shout to defeat him, but, how in Akatosh's name are we going to know what that shout is." She questioned.

I shrugged and looked at Delphine and Esbern, who were just as stumped.

"Well, we thought you would have at least known a shout like that by now, considering all the Dragon souls you absorbed on Fellnir."

That, was not part of what I recalled at least. Must have been the Priest's doing.

Petra rolled her eyes.

"Well I don't okay. I've gotten more to be worried about then learning Dragon shouts. The Greybeards have told me I must take the time to temper myself before doing anything rash."

Delphine's laugh was...a bit scary actually.

"Hah! If they had their way, you'd sit up there all day and talk to the sky or what ever it is they do. I was hoping not to involve them in all of this. But we may not have much choice. Just don't do everything they tell you. You're meant to have this power, but they're too afraid of it." Delphine revealed.

Petra rose an eyebrow. The Greybeards? Afraid of the power? Seems logical enough. May need to speak with Arngeir however. I'm a bit worried for other reasons.

"So...I have to talk with them to find this shout? Okay then. It wouldn't surprise me of this shout would help, but..."

I put my hand on her shoulder.

"Come on, let's not waste any time."

She still appeared distant in the way she was avoiding eye contact. She had told me she wanted to speak with me, but refused to. Instead she was...acting strange again. She felt the edges of the carving and scripture of the wall itself, walking alongside it and trailing her hands around it. I sensed something amiss. She then ignored the wall completely, leaving it to head off in another direction, opposite in fact. It was like she was in a trance, or at least following a blind trail heading towards the wall behind us. She'd found a room then investigated briefly. I wanted to go in, but she soon came out with a long thin blade.

"Oh...that must be Dragonbane!" Esbern said with excitement.

"A blade that the Akavari would use to combat Dragons. I'd keep that close if I were you. Might come in handy."

She gave it a few swings, swiping it about it. It structure of the blade make the most beautiful sound as it cut through air. And I'm not one for huge duels or battles myself. It just looked like an extraordinary sword. Though, Petra's behaviour continued to worry me.

"I'll practice with it. Let's go Bryn, we need to get to High Hrothgar."

Delphine and Esbern decided it was best for them to stay at the Temple to look at more of the stuff the Ancient Blades left behind. I keep forgetting they were once ancient dragon slayers themselves. And it's not something that comes up often in conversation either.

The both of us made haste to the mountain, dwindling towards the evening once more once we arrived at High Hrothgar.

* * *

Petra approached Arngeir, wanting to question about it. He seemed surprisingly hostile at the prospect of it, considering it heretical somewhat. She then relayed what the blades told them, which made him even more angry. I've never seen him like this before. So the blades hate the Greybeards and vice versa. Hm..it's more about Petra and I hope she makes them see sense in common ground.

But it turned out that Arngeir didn't know and suggested speaking with Paarthurnax on the topic. Here we go again.

We got the top of the mountain courtesy of Petra's clear sky shouts, for some reason the Priest wasn't feeling generous lately and refused all contact. What is it with people and not talking lately?

But Petra was...neutral. Again, calm and in total restraint I couldn't tell if she was severely angry or not. Or she was so pissed off, that she was roughly taking it out bit by bit. I was wary of her flipping personality and she just makes me so perplexed at times. Gods help me that I love her.

She'd spoken with Paathurnax whom, to our dismay, didn't know it either. But, had told Petra she she made be able to learn it from those who made it. Somehow. It involved an Elder Scroll and breaking time, to which I really wasn't looking forward to. The only place I'd know an Elder Scroll would be is the one that Prolg had. I face palmed. But Petra noted what he'd said about the time wound used to send Alduin across time from the older era to modern times, that this was some sort of time wound that she could utilise and get strength with. Seemed reasonable enough if that was all we had to do.

Without a beat, Petra thanked Paarthurnax for some insight and meaning to it all and it brought us closer to better answers and a way to defeat Alduin to boot. Of course there's always Prolg and the Thalmor to be worried about as well as the state of the Guild which I hoped they were running okay.

After an overload of information this evening, Petra and I retreated up into the tower overlooking the majority of Skyrim. Beautiful views all around. She'd sat down with her legs out, continuing to have that odd peculiar stare of hers as if deep in thought. I laid myself next to her.

"Anything on your mind lass? When you act like this...you not saying anything actually speaks a lot, ironically."

She heaved a huge sigh. Here it comes.

"I'm glad we're finally making progress. So we need to find an Elder Scroll to learn the shout. You have idea where Prolg might be?" She asked me.

I shrugged.

"Not really know. They've been awfully quiet as of late. I forgot to mention that the Guild has moved as well."

She rose an eyebrow. She wasn't all emotionless, but she wasn't all there either.

"Why what happened? Something happen with the Thalmor?"

I looked down at the cold, stone floor. If Petra was going to be honest with me, I had to be honest with her.

"Zoklot happened. Prolg and a legion of Thalmor came in through to the Flagon. He took control and suddenly the whole cistern was filled with dead elves. It wasn't even my own doing, but I'll still take fault for the matter."

She blinked and shuffled herself closer to me, putting her arm around me. It was nice, making me feel warmer.

"Wow...what a dick."

I smirked.

"Yeah. But Karliah has moved everything to Nightingale Hall. Not as big, but it will act as the base for now, until we get all the nonsense with the Thalmor sorted. We couldn't afford to stay, lest we have another attack."

She nodded.

"Understandable. Thalmor have their trickery."

It reminded me of what she had said back in Riverwood, regarding a certain book she'd found in Helgen.

"Tell me why you went to Helgen with a strange man?" I asked her. It was then she moved her head away from me and let go.

"Hadvar saved my life when it was attacked. I thought I could trust him. I'd managed to plot an escape from the prisons, when Elenwen came downstairs and boasted she had the book that incriminated her and her misbegotten group."

She spoke of that earlier, a certain black book that could start a war, if the Empire found out about it. But...this Hadvar made my blood boil.

"Did he hurt you?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"No, no. He's a good person Bryn, I know it. He was just doing as he was told."

Aye, and look where that lead you. I'll have a stern word with him for messing with you. Her face had gone pale again, but she appeared stressed as well.

"And...I've been meaning to tell you this. And I wasn't sure how well you would take it. But...when I fled Helgen with him, and this I tell you has no effect on our relationship what so ever, but we'd slept together at some stage during our escape. I wasn't in the right state of mind either...and..."

He took advantage of her. He wasn't getting away with that. Gods no. But, she turned to me with the saddest expression on her face.

"So the method I used to get out of there, was kissing him, I suspected he still had the hots for me so I used that and stole the keys."

I wasn't sure whether to be furious or...upset as a flush of heat ran throughout my body. Either way, I was extremely conflicted. I had to remember that this was Petra the Thief in the act and not Petra the Lover on show to the public. She's always been so focused on the work itself she does become a different person. She's told me as such in the past. How many Petra's must I deal with anyway? I couldn't help my own feelings on the matter, but I think in time I'll get over it. Brynjolf just...it's harder to not think about it than it looks.

"So you used him to escape? Petra, call me jealous, but...do you...have feelings for him?" I had to ask. Just for a bit of solidarity. It's like out of some bad dramatica book. Me, the envious boyfriend. Ugh...no.

She chuckled and shook her head.

"Of course not silly! Like I said, it was just...a spur of the moment thing. You know what I'm normally like when I talk about Helgen. I'm slowly coming to terms with it in general and feeling a lot better since then. But, I have no feelings for Hadvar than besides being a friend who was only doing his job. The Thalmor would have come to see me anyway and would try to kill me. But he was delaying it as long as he could."

I crossed my arms. I know for sure I wasn't happy with it. She held my hands to keep myself in the game with her and gave me a smile that just made me feel weak that I grinned right back at her.

"You make me happy Brynjolf in ways no one else can." She admitted.

Ah Petra...you sweet talker you. I kissed her with grins out our faces.

It was very brave of her to tell me this, but I'm still rather annoyed by it. Was it what she was conflicted with earlier? She'd shuffled hersef over again, sitting on my lap as I wrapped my arms around her, staring at the sparkling skies above us. She was less tense, but this wasn't the only problem she was being a bit anxious about it.

"Anything else you want to tell me?" I questioned. She knew she could talk with me...I didn't care how much of made little sense at all.

She sighed.

"I'd like to think we're heading in the right direction, but...we may be making it worse." She admitted.

I held her tighter to reinforce her.

"What makes you say that?" I wondered.

She rubbed my hands.

"After Elenwen and I were exchanging remarks during my escape, I was lost in the darkness again without warning. Like someone turned off all the lights."

A pit in my stomach grew again.

"Go on..."

She explained in detail how the Realm-Walker was fussing over what she called time displacement and in her words was 'outside of time' itself. Which, to me, is hardly believable. But I was willing to make a lot more exceptions nowadays.

"No idea why it did that. She mentioned the...what did she call it, the Tiidbahyek? And that I was the reason why time itself is starting to fall apart."

Dear Gods...leave the poor girl alone or I'll come over and rip you a new one.

"It's a bit over my head a fraction there lass. I'm hoping it isn't too serious." I noted.

She sighed.

"She said she was going to do what she can to help prevent any further adjustments. But I can't help but feel she was right."

My eyes widened. No. That can't be true.

"You can't blame yourself Petra. We've come too far here. In some way we'll get it done I swear."

She smirked and turned herself around completely, put her legs on each side of me and resting her hands on my shoulders. Her face yearned to be touched as I ran my fingers across her neck.

"I know, I know. I just find it ironic that I'm meant to save the world yet I would be the means to destroy it. Doesn't make any sense does it?"

I chuckled as I drew circles on her cheek with my nose, making her giggle. It was so damn cute when she did that.

"No it doesn't." I replied.

I knew what Petra was on about to a certain extent. About the appearing in the dark. It was like time itself was splintering. How would I know? Maybe it was the dragonblood just as susceptible as anyone with a dragon soul. Now that she mentioned it, Paarthurnax was a bit on edge as well. Perhaps this was beginning to affect all sorts of Dragons and not just Petra herself. I'm just taking a wild guess here.

"I swear no more after this is done. I have never so badly wanted to go back to work." She joked.

I couldn't agree more.

"Same. Trying to think what Karliah would put together for us. Or better yet, don't you still have the Stones of Barenziah to find?"

She lit up.

"Oh yeah. I'd found the last one in the caves near the Embassy. I'll..focus on that afterwards. Gives me something to look forward to you know?"

Good to hear she has a goal in mind that...well, wasn't as too bad and mind-bending as it was. And if it made her happy, then so be it. I couldn't got over the fact I was even related to the infamous dunmer. I've always had fire in blood, but I would have never expected a bit of elf heritage. Heh..I wonder if that's sign. I then felt Petra relax more in my arms, ready to fall asleep.

"I hope where...Ayisha is that she's doing alright." She whispered as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"I'm sure she's fine." I told her. I was unsure myself, but I had to have faith.

Thankfully I was getting a little bit of that faith back.


	77. Normalcy

**AN: Upcoming soft chapters. Because..well, they might be the only ones for a while...**

**Chapter 77**

**Normalcy**

He'd taken it better than I had hoped. I was glad. I wasn't sure about if I wanted to tell him about the White Dragon. I better have more info on that before going down any roads relating to that nonsense.

Still, the man's put up so much from me by now and it's amazing how he hasn't lost his patience. Nonetheless, we were able to move forward and plot our our next move.

Finding Prolg and the Elder Scroll wasn't going to be an easy task. As if he was just going to give it to us like that. If I was him he'd make himself scarce and he'd have to do it quickly. It was then Brynjolf spent the next week or so pooling our resources, figuring out who we could get in contact with and whether or not anyone had seen or heard the Cult in sometime.

Brynjolf had mentioned that Zoklotinhaar had remained unusually quiet in the meanwhile. No matter. Bryn and I had better things to worry about it than him. We'd gone to Nightingale Hall, which had be doused up with tonnes of beds, chests and shelves filled with books. Vekel had set up his own little...well, Flagon. Though he called it Nocturnal's Shade, which...was met with mixed reviews, especially from Karliah. It'd become a home away from home. Though one comment from Rune said it definitely smelled better than the sewers, that was for sure, although Thrynn preferred the smells for what ever reason. Each to their own but it's better than living in fear of getting ambushed again, that was for certain.

But you know, it's the sense of normalcy that's been lost for a long time that feels like that's running back into my life. These people were nothing but pretentious, self-serving pricks at the start but you get used to it and appreciate at it. Because you can expect that sort of behaviour as...well, normal.

I wanted to catch up with the girls as well because, I wanted to see how they were feeling and whether they had any trouble coping with what happened with Mercer. And perhaps, just talk girl talk. Because can't we just chat like everything was okay for just one moment?

I found Karliah in the main chamber where she had settled her desk, perhaps where she would be closest in case in the unlikelihood scenario where she would need to get in contact with Nocturnal. She was hard at work, checking out contact statements on Prolg's location. I was amazed on how well the Guild was doing this.

She looked up at me from her studying the piles of notes left on the desk itself.

"Something to report?" She asked me.

I smirked.

"No, just...wandering by. We haven't had a chat in ages. I bought a bottle of spiced wine for the occasion?" I told her, having two goblets and the bottle I had purchased from one of the caravans, courtesy of the lady in Solitude.

Karliah smiled.

"We haven't had such a conversation in some time. I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a drink."

Excellent. I poured her and myself a drink and handed it to her, with the intention of making her relax somewhat.

To say she's great Guildmaster is an understatement. She's made the procedure of moving around so smoothly and flawlessly and judging from everyone else they outright respect her. I've appreciated her own hard work.

I sipped.

"So, how have things been."

Her violet eyes were attracted to the red liquid, almost subconsciously stirring.

"Hectic, no doubt. Alongside having to stifle through work, setting up base here was the only option we had." She admitted.

I nodded as we leaned against the desk, staring outwards.

"Nocturnal okay with the arrangements?" I questioned.

Karliah shrugged.

"She hasn't said anything. It's not the Sepulcher, so I suppose we're not really desecrating anything. We protect the link more so, so it's not like it's hard to find it if it's in danger."

Yeah, unlike last time. I took another sip. I had a few plans of my own, but it involved more individuals. For now, I was willing to do what it took to gather more information.

"Has Maven said anything about it?" I wondered, since the Matriarch herself had not been mentioned, nor had I seen her since my little play at the Embassy.

She chuckled.

"Oh you know what she's like. She wasn't pleased, calling us cowards. We're not that far away from Riften so if she needs us we're nearly right around the corner."

In a sense yes.

"But it doesn't have the same feeling as being safe within city walls does it?"

She put a rogue strand of hair behind her ears. I noticed it had a hint of red, but it was just brown naturally.

"We're lucky everyone here can fight to an extent. But our role is to avoid conflict as much as we can. While that can be seen as the same as being a coward, it's to make sure nobody is harmed. Physically speaking. We do not seek death as we seek penance in a much more practical application. And the odd coin doesn't hurt either." She explained.

She was right about that. The Thieves Guild does what it does to keep it's reputation, the line between good and evil is often blurred with us and instead of black and white we're coloured in all shades of grey.

"And how are you feeling about it so far?" I'd queried, not afraid to ask the more important questions here.

She took a sip.

"It's a bit overwhelming at times but I'm managing okay. Don't think I'd operate without the help of Delvin, Vex and Tonilia. Or by the other members of that matter. Despite our situation, we still run like a well-oiled dwemer contraption. It's grinding but the job get's done regardless. What about you?"

I had been prodded and pulled for the last six months. It's draining mentally and physically. But how do you describe post-reality experiences?

"It's been tough. I'm still trying to find meaning with what I'm supposed to do. But I'll be glad once it's all over, so I can get back to work without delay." I told her.

I think she appreciated that.

"You have more dedication to the Guild than you know Petra. And we're rich because of it. I think we wouldn't have pulled half of what we did if it wasn't for you."

Oh Gods, here come the compliments as I felt my face heat up.

"Ah come on. You're hard worker Karliah. You don't give yourself much credit as you should."

She was amused by that.

"Neither do you."

Karliah and I continued to talk and finish off the spiced wine in what was once simple, then became into a snorting match and sounding like pigs when sharing funny stories. I longed for this, not the bullshit that came with being some pathetic saviour/destroyer of the known world. But, if I am to be this, I am to be the one who not only has an impact on the world but the people living with in. I figure, what's a world worth saving if I didn't know who or what was there.

I had to learn to care about others. To care about the people who put their lives on the line everyday, and to those who put in the hard yards to ensure their own survival. Everything is about survival and I think that's what makes mortals great. We can boast because we can take risks, unlike those in the planes that never have to experience total death in their entire existence.

I let Karliah get back to what she was doing and looked for Vex. It'd been sometime since our little rendevouz with Mercer and it'd be good to see how she was doing.

I found her at Nocturnal's Shade having an ale. She seemed a bit of a trance. I know, that with how I was with Brynjolf, that it was because of something I said or did. May I remind you that my distance was within a conflict of saying something at the right time and wanting to lessen the blow when I told him. But Vex's expression said more than words ever could. I sat on the stool next to her and tried to get her attention.

"Hey Vex. How's it going?" I asked her.

"Nothing that concerns you Dragon Queen." She back chatted.

Good to see she's up to spite. Always a good sign. Seems like such a contrast, that I saw myself in Vex, that I once rejected people. I'd never believe I'd open up so much.

"Oh come on Vex, speak with me. If it's about moving from the cistern to here or..."

"I said it doesn't concern you."

I shrugged, pretending to mind my own business. But...

"If you're not willing to talk about it here, we can go elsewhere.

She sighed.

"It's my little sister."

What?

"Your little sister?" I asked. This was random.

She nodded.

"She's in Cyrodiil. Wants to see me. I told her now isn't exactly the time with all this bullshit concerning you and Bryn. She's persistent, just like you."

Okay. But. I could see why she was concerned.

"Uh...sorry?" I spoke, raising an eyebrow.

"You're originally from Cyrodiil aren't you? She's living in the Imperial city, probably living like a princess. Why she would want to see me is beyond me."

I smiled.

"Maybe because she hasn't seen you in a long time."

She took a long hard gulp from her cup and slammed it on the bench.

"Petra, you gotta know we're not like other people. We don't have a give a crap about others if we don't want to and we're free to admit that we're mostly in the game for ourselves. Business and coin are the only languages I speak."

I've had that vibe about her for a long time, even spoke to me as such when I first joined. She's never been really talkative, but I have been slightly concerned for her well being after Mercer. Albeit, I knew she was able to take care of herself, and she has fantastically. But, as a sister in crime, to put it in poor words, empathy tends to take over and subconsciously I want to help others.

"So...what does that make your sister then?" I questioned, seeing where this was leading.

She rolled her eyes.

"She's nothing more than a spoiled brat. Been like that since we were little girls. But you see she was overly arrogant about herself, taunting on how she attracts all the cute boys and I was like, _blach._.."

I was now curious.

"You're not interested in men?"

She chuckled.

"What? Of course I am. But I wasn't as overly obsessed as she was. Just because I wasn't the innocent little girl daddy wanted me to be, doesn't mean that I deserved that sort of treatment from her. In fact all I wanted to do is to fine my freedom. I hated going around in fancy dresses. I came to Skyrim on a whim, since the Thieves Guild in Cyrodiil went bust and I caught wind that this one was still around. I left a note, saying I was coming here and not coming back. That was it."

Rich, Imperial girl. Huh. I was a farm girl myself, but it looks like it doesn't matter where you grow up, you may end up somewhere still vastly different.

I nodded.

"No one cared that you left?"

She smirked.

"I'd like to think mother was distraught, but she was drunk half the time to even notice. Father did what father did and loved his work more than his own children. My sister is practically heir to his throne after I left. I actually don't care. If they do then that's certainly news to me."

She didn't sound exactly worried about that prospect. If that was the case, then why was her sister contacting her after all these years?

"So...what if something's wrong?"

I wasn't expecting any answer of hers to be overly noble.

"Probably lost dads money. Moron. Most likely coming here to find some rich guy to marry. Pathetic really."

I laughed.

"You really think that's the case?"

She was in between yes and no.

"I dunno and frankly, I don't care. I'm here to give to myself and the Guild and that's what matters."

I admired Vex for her ability to just not care. I wish I could afford to do that again. But my adventures have developed me more as a person, to understand that my own mistakes have far more dire consequences then one might think. But it didn't mean I couldn't have any fun in the mean time. I could be stressed, but I wanted to give back with the others had given me as 'fresh meat' when I first joined. You may not like her at first glance, but she is a dedicated member of the Guild, even when the coin was lacking,

"So you're from Cyrodiil...hmmm.. Ever play the game called Thief?" I asked her.

She groaned.

"Yes. We used to play that in secret, hiding in the basement in some schmoes house. Always made the boys excited. I couldn't care less."

Of course.

"Yeah, the games were fun while they lasted. Makes me miss being that age at times. You didn't care about the world that much."

Vex nodded.

"Sure...and leave it all to the adults. It's quite the change in perspective when you become an adult however and when you hit that age it's like wham, all this responsibility is sacked on you. If I had something that we just feed me septims I'd be set for life. But, I can't abandon the Guild."

And for once something that was remotely positive from one Miss Negative. I was trying to convince her to partake in a game of thief, but...Vex would play hard not to. Could find it vastly immature.

But...the Guild needed a pick me up.

"We should have a party." I said outright, even Vekel heard me.

"A party? Seriously? In here?" He said with shock.

I smiled.

"Yeah. I mean, obviously have to close the door to make sure we don't get too noisy, but a party would give the Guild quite a boost."

Vex wasn't too sure.

"Uh...yeah. Because now's the time considering from what's been said around the hall is that the world is about to be destroyed. Where's the happiness in that?"

Oh Vex...

"It's not about being blindly wasted, it's about making ourselves feel good. We're okay. We're alive. Living in itself is an achievement, considering all the fancy ways to die out there these days."

I also wanted to enact my little plan that I've been wanting to put in places for ages.

"I think we're all just getting drunk as normal nowadays. Nothing special in that." She stated.

"That's depressive drinking." Vekel said, coming back into the conversation.

"Nothing special, like you said, but if I can hitch up the right gear, I could have a word with Delvin about it. Get some special brew. Maybe speak with Maven."

Because Maven was always the life of the party. Ahem.

"Vekel gets what I mean. It's more like, celebrated drink. I'll speak with Karliah and see what she thinks. I don't want this to be all about me you know. I want to owe you all a thanks anyway, for letting me in here and helping me out."

Vekel looked at me strangely.

"Does it mean the tabs on you Petra?" He asked.

I crossed my arms.

"Do you accept payment plans?"

He laughed.

"Hm...I just need coin to purchase the goods that's all. I don't know if the Guildmaster herself would be contributing to the mead funds."

Our discussion itself made me feel...good. I think. A casual conversation is just...needed without the doom and gloom lingering over our heads. A collective ingredient in our lives is to enjoy what we have and be glad for it. I myself still feel a bit out of it, but for the moment I wanted to embrace what it was like to be what we are and not be ashamed of it.

The whole guild knows who and what I am and, I get the respect that I have desired for a long time, but, I don't know if any of them fear me or...hate me. They are cautious around me of course, but, I mean none of them harm. I am to ensure their own protection from deep within my heart. And the world itself, as it is my sworn duty.

But I got their minds on about it at least, let the word flow through the guild like, precious, precious coin. When Karliah caught wind, she wasn't enthusiastic at first, but being a Dunmer, it wasn't as worthwhile as such, but we managed to convince her to let us to one little break, then get back to work the next. She was reluctant, but she said she was willingly going to provide the coin to support it, but if anything dramatic comes up any time soon, then that was obviously more important to deal with. Which was fair enough.

It would be nice to see the Guild in such a relaxed and joyful state. To allow everyone to let go of their worries for one night and just relish in the rivers of sweetness and the comforts of good food to boot.

Brynjolf wasn't surprised. He was in good spirits however. However he'd made me liable for any mishaps because I suggested the damn idea. I just laughed it off. It was going to be fun.

* * *

I'd also caught up with Tonilia and Sapphire, who were doing okay. Tonilia had taken most the situation in her stride saying it didn't affect much and Sapphire was a tenacious brave woman, having been through a lot herself. Tonilia was casual and Sapphire didn't have much to say. That was okay, it'd just been a while since I had spoken with either of them for some time.

I then, on a whim, had spoken with the others in the Guild. They never had any indicators that they had any issues but I spoke with them nonetheless. Some told me of their annoyance that they had to move and that this place was smaller, but it was quieter. Rune wasn't completely comfortable with the idea of Nocturnal watching so closely but she was doing that anyway.

Looking at them now, dedicated to their cause it makes me appreciate the hard work that each of them do. And each of them have their own little stories to tell. And I actually feel at home with that, the sense of family that I hadn't felt for ages.

But I had to admit, that socializing like that was exhausting but it made me think clearer about those I've been around with. I'd gone into the back room sitting on the same standing circle I was standing on when I'd first transacted the oath with Brynjolf and Karliah.

He soon came to join me, smiling as he sat down next to me.

"Looks like we're gonna end up putting my end of the bargain now..." He told me.

"When are you going to do yours?"

I tapped my lip.

"Hush my love." I spoke with such forced acting. "When I have more time and if we find a giant. I'm not forgetting my end of it."

He chuckled.

"Any luck in finding Prolg so far?" I asked, going back to the usual business.

He shook his head.

"No. We've gone at this for days and not found a single thing. We've tracked Thalmor asking questions, especially Maven. She's been pretty charismatic with them."

Even with Maven the bitch she was, she protects her people.

"That's good news. Anything else?"

He frowned. Oh Gods what is it now?

"I've been meaning to ask. You've been talking in your sleep a lot lately. Keep muttering nonsense over and over again. Anything I need to be aware of?"

I forgot my dreams of late have had the tendency to be weird, which is why I want to grasp on to now more than ever. Just signs and whispers of that Sotrahkun...that White Dragon crap that's been coming about lately. No signs from the Amethyst Dragons either. Just...a lot of fire and Sotrahkun's name embedded into my brain.

"Just general nightmares Bryn. No contact from the Realm-Walker either. What about you?"

He shook his head.

"No. No contact from the priest either. It's like they're sleeping or...waiting for something. But what?"

Who knew. I stilled missed Ayisha. Thinking about that Khajiit made my heart go cold.

"I'm not concerned about them as much as Ayisha. Gods I miss her. She's not even my daughter."

Bryn rubbed my back.

"No...but I think it's important to hold on to. The chains to what we have left of greater value than anything else we've ever stolen. "

Oh Gods not again.

"Is that something that's come out of your ass too?" I joked.

He smiled.

"Probably."

He did have a point though and it's one that made sense. I desire the simple life I had once before, but there are those that I need now that I never had before. I was over-stressing things. I just wanted to have this party to forget that and let my mind stifle through so much quality mead.

Thankfully, that had been planned for tomorrow night.


	78. Thief!

**AN: This is a fun chapter. And fun towards the end if you know what I mean...**

**Chapter 78 **

**Thief!**

So suddenly we're throwing money around to have one night of getting pissed and doing stupid things together. And I couldn't do it without better people. This was part of Petra's little scheme however and while I originally didn't want to do it, I was obliged to as part of um...the failure from out little...uh...game...ahem.

Vekel and Delvin got the booze and while it was a night we'd never forget, we'd actually just push away our current problem for the moment and for once in our lives and have fun with one another. Although I don't know if Karliah thinks that Nocturnal would hate it if we'd trashed the place. She'd force us to clean up after ourselves, which after a heavy session of drinking, majority would be too hung over and they'd throw a bottle across the room. Dirge was still with us too, so he'll make sure the group doesn't get too messy.

How Petra was going to get the game rolling had no inkling me. I suspect that everyone would have to be pretty juiced up to comply. I've seen most of Guild drunk before, and it's just something we put up with. Thrynn get's messed up a bit, Vex herself loosens up a little and I think Garthar get's this weird laugh. And I'm certain that Cynric and Niruin get up to no good and start planning and playing tricks on people. It's all in good fun mostly.

It reminded me that I've never seen Petra off her face either, and that time in Winterhold when I had one too many with the elf and ended up in Petra's lap the next morning. Now that the idea is my head, I wouldn't mind seeing Karliah loosen up either. Lass has had it pretty tough.

At times even though we are good at what we do, we often forget ourselves and get comfortable with the stress. It's not to say it's a bad thing. We wouldn't be in this business if we didn't enjoy our work. We all start of wanting to do something adventurous in our lives, then it turns into the hunger for danger and the thrill of hiding and preventing yourself from getting caught.

Petra had invited Etienne, a member whom I haven't seen in a long time and was hitched up with the Thalmor being 'interrogated'. She also introduced me to Malborn, a wood elf on the run from the Thalmor as well. He was a bit of a scrawny lad, paranoid and jumpy. We assured the lad we're on the same boat as him, having a whole squad of em in the Ratway which forced us to leave.

I think a few down his throat should do the job, make him feel better. Petra told me that she felt bad for taking him down that path, but to be honest, who would want to work for the Thalmor with the way they treat people these days...

The funniest joke that made me chuckle was Karliah actually saying to invite Maven. No. Well, only if she really wanted to. We'd sent her an invite, a private one from Dirge to give to Maul, to keep the obvious secrecy, but she'd decline. I just know it. Part of me wants to think she'll appreciate the thought but sadly she wouldn't think of coercing with a bunch of drunk rabble. Otherwise I would also believe she'd call us insane or something and not to turn suddenly just stab people out of drunken rage. I highly doubt that though. I think we're all okay with one another. At least I hope we were.

We're not exactly the most communicative bunch. We'll talk, but it's mostly about business. The boys would berate and taunt but that's just a healthy way of getting our opinions. We were thieves, not liar. If we have to talk we have to be honest about what our intentions are and that's the most acceptable terms we have is you don't have be afraid about what you really want. It might get you a punch in the face if you say the wrong thing, but in the end, it's better than retreating to rumour and gossip within the guild and keeping that crap about those who deserve our loathing...and attention.

* * *

We grabbed chairs and started a small fire and pushed what ever we weren't using against the wall, although we did eventually run out of chairs, using the odd chest here and there as we sat around the fire.

Vekel provided the drinks to start off with and had your usual food of meat and platters that were just divine, finest that apparently Maven had to offer. Huh. She may not be here but she's still thankful I guess. She honestly just has a funny way to show it.

I mingled with the lads and chatted away our problems as we normally do, cracking jokes and the like and sipping the mead blessed to us and made us all feel warmer within ourselves. We'd unknowingly separated ourselves from the women who found their own little corner to talk, while the of us lads chatted elsewhere.

"So, I reached under the table, only to find the damned dog underneath who bit my arm." Rune complained, telling his story of one of his more...outlandish jobs.

"Wait so the dog wasn't even barking at you when you went in? I thought they were supposed to bark at intruders." Vipir had pointed out.

He shrugged.

"It was an old mutt. Probably blind or something." Rune explained.

Etienne rose an eyebrow.

"Wait, why did you think the ring would be underneath the table?" He asked.

The man grumbled.

"Because that's where the entrance to the basement was. I hadn't found it anywhere else and they were bound to wake up any time soon when I'd already searched the place for hours on end.

"Did you find it?" Thrynn asked.

Rune nodded.

"Yeah. Once I got the dog out of the way it was pretty easy."

"Wait you...didn't kill the dog did you?" Garthar.

Rune appeared offended.

"No! I just got some meat and threw it in other direction. However, I'd accidentally thrown it to the old lady that lived there. I took the time she was stunned, went into the basement and used the other exit to escape. It wasn't even sunrise for another hour."

I chuckled.

"Assumptions like that could have gotten you worse lad. Are you sure you monitored the targets routine closely?" I asked him. If he wasn't careful, he would have gotten caught or worse.

Again, he had given the face of being wrongfully accused.

"I'm not stupid Bryn. I never knew the old lady even lived there. I was so sure as I stalked the man that no one else was with him. She'd come out of nowhere."

Niruin chuckled.

"Probably a ghost. Rune doesn't like ghosts."

The man grunted.

"I am not afraid of ghosts. I know what I saw. The meat slapped in her face. If it was a ghost, it would have gone straight through."

"I read somewhere that it could be one of those wispmothers. Beautiful but tricky witch like monstrosities." Delvin commented.

"Wispmothers don't appear in towns Delv." Rune stated.

The breton shrugged and drunk his mead.

"So the target is one of them Winterhold mages specialized in illusion or conjuration. Made a guard. Solid and efficient."

Rune facepalmed.

"The guy was a local merchant."

I took a swig as I continued to wrap my head around his story. Hm...well, there could be another explanation for it.

"Perhaps they were lovers?" I suggested.

The boys were overcome with laughter.

"Bryn you big softie!" Delvin teased, patting my back.

Shor's bones this had nothing to do with me and Petra already. Just...no.

"What? I was only saying that the man and woman were having a tryst. No shame in that is there?"

I told them.

Niruin snorted.

"Haha...no, no it's not. Affairs make for interesting topics, and the life of two loves in between two others make great bedfellows. If you know what I mean."

That was a terrible joke, but they laughed anyway. They may have had a few already, I wasn't paying attention.

"Petra and I are fine thank you. And that's all I will say about t- hey!"

Vekel had shoved another mead in my hand and took the empty bottle away.

"Come on Brynjolf, tell us more of your 'journeys with Petra.'" He requested, earning a few more chuckles from the lads.

"Like we're doing now. Searching for answers and prying about Prolg, that sorry excuse for a father." I said with a tinge of disdain.

"Woah Bryn calm down. We're not here to provoke the subject. We're here to discuss the wonderful life of having a girlfriend. Tell us...how do you approach the woman?" Delving wondered so intensively.

I suppose it was better than talking about currents events. I sighed. Petra would hate me for talking about it.

"You treat your woman with care and respect. Enjoy yourselves while life is short. Like you Vipir, you approach Sapphire so aggressively. I'm pretty sure Vekel knows what I'm talking about."

The man's eyes widened, spitting out the drink he was having. Vekel in the meanwhile was apathetic, but I knew he was having some troubles with Tonilia, but from seeing them at times they're mending it somewhat. Some rumour floating around of me having an affair with her. Where in Oblivion did that come from? Must have been from that time when we spoke alone outside of the Flagon to discuss the issues with marrying the guy and would have been confused with a fling. Tonilia's an attractive strong woman but I wasn't sleeping with her. This was before Petra if that needs to be said. Even so, Vekel's a great guy and I'd never do that to him.

"What? I am not. I just think she needs a little tlc. I'm trying to give her that but she refuses."

He whinged.

I rolled my eyes and smirked.

"But you're doing it the wrong way. Learn more about her before making any sudden moves like that. Try to appeal to her good side."

Another uproar. What now?

"Good side? Sapphire? Please, you must be mistaking her for your own woman Bryn." Niruin joked.

While I liked these boys for being themselves, they still think pick up lines gets you laid straight away. It's obvious that none of that helps one bit.

"You just don't know her enough. Just, ask her what she likes." I suggested.

Vipir snorted.

"Bah..she'll most likely think I've gone crazy and say 'I'd like you to get away from me'."

All my, uh, subconscious wooing Petra back in the day was actually going to prove useful for once. I'd hope.

"Just tell her your serious. A big note for her is to apologize the way you've been treating her. Saying you're sorry a few times will make her think you're genuinely remorseful and are willing to do what it takes to make her happy."

Vipir was skeptical.

"Uh...I dunno...it just seems too sappy and out of character for me."

I grinned.

"Give it a shot. It's a long road but trust me, it's the effort you take to make it work that often get's in done in the end."

He downed another mead as his eyes were burdened with the contemplation of his actions. It's up to him to take my advice. An Amulet of Mara wouldn't do him good. He'll have to earn Sapphire's actions the hard way, after what Petra and I had privately discussed about her in the past. I then turned to Delvin. I honestly didn't want to go through what Petra had told me to...but...alas...

"So...Delvin...what about you and Vex?" I queried.

Delvin just finished off a bottle and breathed out with heavy sorrow.

"Oh beautiful Vex. I have to agree with you there Bryn about the treating with care part, but it sadly doesn't work for me."

I crossed my arms. I seriously couldn't believe I was actually trying to help them with their problems. For a bunch of narcissistic and tough men who can find their way through almost anything It was women that they couldn't find the secrets to. In my case, our secrets sort of clashed.

"Like Sapphire, she's a hard lass to catch. So you've asked her what she enjoys?"

Delvin brushed me off.

"Bah of course. She likes business and she likes the Guild. But she doesn't particularly like me, maybe because I'm old?"

I smirked.

"Old or not, that wouldn't the reason why. You're a good guy Delv and Petra and I think the rest of us think highly of you. In fact..."

Gods...why do you want me to do this?

"Petra and I were talking about a game she played in Cyrodiil, and she'd told me that Vex and her, well, of course they didn't know each other back then, had played it back when they were younger. It's a game called Thief!."

Rune's face lit up.

"Hey I know that game. I was in Cyrodiil as young boy for a short time. That game was some entertainment for sure. But I think we would need to be a fraction more wasted to play that."

I smirked. Dirge grumbled as he stood behind us.

"Ugh...that stupid game is for hormonal teenagers. Are you seriously bringing that up?" He complained.

"You don't have to play. Just make sure it doesn't get too messy." Rune stated. He must have known what he meant.

Ravyn butted in, being very quiet about it for most of the conversation, although he was curious as to what we were on about.

"This game sounds a bit fishy. I want to know the terms and conditions first." He told us.

I smiled. It could be amusing after all. I turned to Rune.

"So, why don't you kindly explain the rules to them. I'll go talk with Petra about it."

* * *

Ultimately, this could end up the funniest thing we'd ever done. We'd had a few so most had agreed to play it after Rune told them he it was going to be done. Even Ravyn considered, though I think he's had about 8 already so of course he was consenting himself to it. Vex, well, Vex was Vex...hesitant but willing to give it a try.

I quickly spoke with Delvin, who was open to the idea but was wary of what it truly meant. The others, even the girls sat around in a circle. Petra and I had devised a plan that required us to at least be directive in our usual pickings. After all, this was mostly about the lovelorn Breton and the pent up imperial and pairing them together. Petra herself was loving it, but I'm no Priest of Mara myself. Karliah wasn't entirely convinced that this was the greatest idea ever conceived, but I assured her there are boundaries and that if it makes anyone uncomfortable at any stage they are free to forfeit and watch from the sidelines.

Petra volunteered to be host as she was the one who came up with the point of playing it and plus it was part of considerable operation mara as she called it. This was so stupid but...I think I may have had a few by this time and my mind was becoming adjusted to it. No wonder they say it's better to play while pissed.

"Okay, ground rules. No touching special areas. The Guards have three people to do a cavity search. The Thief wins if the Guard fails and the Guard has to play again. If the Guard wins, he chooses the next Guard for the next play, and the last thief gets to choose the next thief. Simple? Good. Now...as your host, I'll be picking the first set of vic- I mean, uhh, the Guard and the Thief. So...who to choose..."

I wanted to laugh at how excited and enthused she was at this, judging from her hyperactive body language and huge grin. I have a feeling she's played this a lot back in the day. Wouldn't surprise me. But...Petra's plot was about to unravel and it was going to be intriguing to see it unfold.

She spent the next minute stomping around with the tip of her index finger in her mouth and her other hand sorely on her hip. She seemed a lot younger or maybe because she might have been a bit tipsy. It was really cute and it may be just the mead talking again, but...I was really jealous of her finger right now.

"Malborn!" She called out, pointing towards the Bosmer.

He was...rightfully shocked. But...I had no doubt he was fine.

"Me? Uh...alright...alright. Where do I go?" He asked. Elf was jittery.

She nudged her head.

"Just stand away with your back to the circle. And when we're ready, we'll call you back in. Okay?"

He nodded.

"Oh. Yeah. Sure."

Malborn got up and left for the moment, with his back to us. Petra pulled something out of her pocket. A ring. A gold diamond ring. She really went all out for this. Unless...haha...sometimes I forget we're thieves...Brynjolf you're getting lax with this.

She fumbled with the ring in her hand, looking into the eyes of each everyone of us still in the circle. I was trying to think of what was going on in that floaty head of her stills and what she had in store.

She flicked the ring in the air and snatched, leaving her grasp in mid air and closed her eyes. She'd spun around and threw the ring at Karliah, who was genuinely stunned and stuffed the ring down her collar. Oh Gods. This was going to be good.

"Guard! Thief! Thief!" Petra called out. She was really into this.

Malborn turned around ran back on queue. He stepped back in the circle as Petra grabbed his shoulders.

"Someone has stolen my ring. I have a few suspects, but if you don't get to them in time they may be gone for good!" Petra cried. Her drunk acting was spectacular...heh...haha.

But Malborn was a bit nerved by it. I had a feeling he really had no idea what he was getting himself into. He looked around as Petra stepped out of the circle and crossed her arms, observing the events before us.

Petra explained to me one night of Malborns assistance during her little venture at the Embassy. And that Delphine had told her that his family was actually killed by the Thalmor themselves. And they hadn't realized that maybe a son of that family was part of their group of servants. Their background checks must be really pathetic. Petra would definitely keep an eye on him and everyone else to make sure no one gets hurt.

He had trouble choosing who to...uh...pick. He looked at Ravyn and suspected him. He pointed towards the Dunmer and Petra had to urge him to do the body search. The rest of us started to giggle like crazy as Ravyn stood up and stretched out his arms. We were really like children as Malborn reluctantly put his hands all over the dark elf. Ravyn grumbled and remained firm and in control a the bosmer went in around his body. Gods that sounds so wrong.

So he didn't have it, as Ravyn glared at the Bosmer for his mistake.

"Just to let you I am incredibly sorry for that. Please don't kill me." He pleaded.

Ravyn just grinned.

"Ahh don't worry. You have soft hands though for a wood elf." He stated.

Everyone just hackled, and I watched Petra turned around to stifle her laughter that turned into a little chuckle.

"Uhh...thanks?" He said with uncertainty. Poor Malborn didn't know whether to take that as an insult or a compliment.

"Come on...so Ravyn doesn't have the ring. Well, you have two suspects left. Make your choice or they'll flee with the ring." Petra announced.

Malborn just gulped. He couldn't think of what did to do with the concept of failure only two searches away. He bit his lip and fumbled with his fingers. Come on you lout, choose already.

He'd picked Etienne of all people, who rolled his eyes and stood up as asked. Malborn's eyes were closed as he looked over and froze when he found nothing.

"Sorry...but maybe you can massage me when this is all over. Ravyn's right. You do have soft hands..." Etienne spoke comically. And yet another chuckle from the group.

Malborn stood back with shock. Poor lad is going to have a heart attack before he's even finished.

"One more chance Malborn." Petra teased.

"Choose wisely."

He gulped and seriously contemplated his final choice. I think Petra wanted to help speed things along, trying for the next game as well. She started walking around the circle with her face held up high, like she herself was like Captain of the Guard or something. Didn't make it any less funny.

But the elf was so intent to read the faces of everyone and muttered to himself consistently. Who would it be? Who would he know to be the actual thief?

He was so scared of getting it wrong, but I watched Petra as she walked behind Karliah and looked at Malborn with locked eyes, as if giving him a hint. It took him a bit to get what she was playing at as his eyes widened.

He approached Karliah.

"Uh...yeah, I want to search you." He said so abruptly. This was better than work I tell you know. But the way he said it just made like a ball of something rise within me forcing me to laugh.

Karliah obliged and lifted her arms up as Malborn looked all over. He reached up and shivered as he touched her bra, which I think that's what he touched, since Karliah had the reddest face a dunmer could have. It was emotionless, but she looked at away as Malborn continued to run his hands all over her. Sorry, need to snort.

He was shaking as he brought out the gold ring as showed it to Petra, who just clapped and had a smile from ear to ear.

"Well done, you have truly earned my respect Guard. Now...choose your uh..successor. You're retired." Petra stated as Malborn gave her the ring back.

The Elf had gone pale. But he was okay. He ended up choosing Vipir to be the guard next, who had been sitting next to me, so the elf took his spot. He looked blank at the ground and unsure. I patted his back.

"Don't worry lad, it's all in good fun. It's not supposed to be stressful." I told him.

He heaved a hugh sigh.

"Fine...just don't make me do that ever again."

I smirked, staring at Petra.

"We won't."

Vipir had gone out of the circle as Karliah got up to choose the next thief. I'm..sure maybe Petra told Karliah of her plot, but half the time I never knew what the lass was up to, only to find out what she was doing, much later, well after she had completed it and made her choice. She frustrates me sometimes when she does that.

But, Karliah had smiled, choosing Thrynn, to the point she was actually delighted by it for some reason. I was a tad concerned regarding this sort of thing, but as Petra flicked the ring to him, he prayed he wouldn't get caught. He would rather not be touched by anyone at all, especially Vipir. He would have been okay if a woman was doing it, but at this stage...anything could happen.

"Guard! Thief! Thief!" Petra called out.

Vipir came back and looked around and rubbed his hands. He was so sure of himself that he immediately started with Sapphire. Petra looked at me, not wanting any trouble from the man to cause the woman any grief. She sucked it up and bared it, standing up as he searched through her gleefully. Vipir, honestly, what did I just tell you? And now that he didn't find the ring, she punched him in the gut for possibly going where he wasn't supposed to.

"Vipir, Sapphire, play nice." Petra scolded. She was like some sort of mother with that attitude.

The pair of them grunted.

"Petra you were supposed to choose Sapphire!" He roared.

Petra rolled her eyes.

"I don't agree to planning anything like that. It was purely our bosses choice. Right boss?"

Karliah smirked.

"Yes, Petra is right Vipir. You either play it right, or don't play the game at all."

He groaned.

"Fine, fine..lesse. Well, there's Tonilia, but Vekel would have my head and I highly doubt our boss has it. I wouldn't want to touch Vex if it meant my balls would be cut off. If you were playing Petra I'd search you but Bryn's here and I don't think he'd like to share."

This was ultimately Petra's choice. I trust her to not take it seriously anyway even if she was playing.

"Just choose dimwit. Just because it might not be a girl doesn't mean you touch them anyway. Do it quickly, you have two choices left." Petra proclaimed.

The man wasn't happy about it and I could tell that he didn't want to touch any of the men. I shook my head.

"Alright...uh...hm...Brynjolf?"

Petra's smile turned devlish as I stood up and rose my arms. I think she liked Vipir touching me out some sick twisted fantasy. Gods...her mind is probably filled with thousands of ideas right about now. I held my breath in, until Vipir was finished and annoyed that he couldn't find it off me either.

"One more." Petra said cooly. Although, I'm pretty certain she's running that image in her head over and over again.

Vipir scratched his head. Then looked at Thrynn and rose an eyebrow.

"Huh...alright...you?"

Thrynn looked at him with a blank, confused face.

"What?"

Vipir nodded as he walked up to him.

"Yeah, I said you. Stand up and lemme search."

So much tension in these two men. Perhaps they should screw and get their frustrations out of their system. No..Petra you're a bad influence. And from the look on her face that she was giving me, she knew it too. She'll get it later tonight, no worries about that.

Eventually they found the ring, much to Thrynn's dismay and making him wonder why he was chosen in the first place. The Guild was getting drunker by the minute and the laughs sloppier. It was getting to the good part and the one part Petra had been looking forward to all night. She'd told me to tell any of the boys to choose Vex and Delvin for this next part.

Vipir gave Petra the ring back, as he looked around and pretended to think who he was about to choose. Obvious to some and oblivious to the rest. He looked at Vex.

"What? No...don't choose me." She spoke back.

"Come on Vex, it's fun." He joked. Yeah he was wasted.

Vex groaned.

"Okay, I'll go stand outside the circle." She said, with the feeling of defeat. I think she just needed more mead inside her. Haha...I made a joke. Apologies...that's gotta be the mead talking to me again. Telling me what to say.

After she made her way with her back towards us, Petra looked at Thrynn and nodded twice, knowing whom they were going to choose. She'd flicked the ring to Delvin and called out once more.

"Guard! Thief! Thief!"

Vex turned back around with her hands on hips as she strutted back to the circle.

"That was an awfully quick choice there Thrynn. Please don't tell me you choose Sapphire or Tonilia."

Thyrnn's smirk was amusing amongst his current drunken behaviour.

"Sorry Vex, can't say. Find the suspect!" He said, sipping his mead as he grinned.

Vex rolled her eyes and examined the pack of drunken men and women around her. Surely enough she had a few suspects in her sights and wondered which to pick. She looked at Garthar with fury in her eyes, although they were a tad hazy.

"You. Stand." She ordered the man.

Garthar smiled as he did as he was told. She went through him quickly. Hah...and was visibly tired from it...heh. So no ring on the man. She went and left him and looked for her next suspect.

Definitely needs more mead in her. I'll have to talk to Vekel about rectifying that.

I also think she was a bit disappointed in not finding the thief in one go, but if she was going to win it didn't matter who her second was, but if she was dedicated to win, she would want to find the thief in the second choice. So she must have been several minutes there, figuring out which one had the ring.

Delvin himself was desperate acting nonchalant, but that just it all the more obvious to Vex who had stolen it. She didn't want to believe it and at first refused, but at this stage, what does she have to lose?

She shivered as she pointed Delvin who gladly stood up there for her.

"Anything for you Vex." He commented with a warm grin

She looked away as she rummaging underneath his clothes, trying to find the damned ring. At this stage, she was slow, her face was still as she took her time looking for the ring. He'd put in his pants, the sly breton. She was forced..to...dig deep as chuckles filled the room, even from Karliah.

Vex's face had gone beat read as she'd found the ring in the back of his pants. She flung the ring back to me. Delvin had this massive grin on his face as he looked at me and Petra, thanking him with his half-lidded eyes. I could have sworn to believe, that Vex was doing that deliberately.

I wondered if that was enough to satisfy Petra's terms.

* * *

We continued to play the game through out the night and continued to get more drunk. We'd stopped the game for a bit, as we all could barely stand. We ended up continuing our chats and boasting stories both of tales and truths. And my mind was so boggled up I didn't care what would happen. Like I was in a strange trance.

I remember Petra dragging me out of the blue, and taking me to the secret room we found the other day. Karliah let us have it for own privacy of course as we had ventured further into the hidden depths of the Hall. Petra pressed me again the wall and started to give me kisses of sloppy proportions but otherwise I was rather turned on by her performance as a helpless bystander. I just hoped she was going to play her end of the game as well. She stopped and smiled, feeling my beard.

"Stay right here. I have a surprise for you." She told me. She started giggling.

"Close your eyes."

I did so with stupid pride and awaited for her. Soon after I felt a hand continuing to drag me down the hall way. She made me stop and I was still for the moment, smelling the scent of snowberries in the room, scented candles maybe? I heard a bit of shuffling as I embraced the nice warmth of the room.

"Open!"

I slowly opened my eyes, seeing Petra laying on the bed in a beautiful silk gown that reached down above her knee with simple straps. She was like some sort of cloud phoenix or some other crappy made up creature. She had a see through cloak that sparkled and wrapped around her like a blanket. Her hair...her gorgeous hair of light brown was out of it's ponytail...and...had she been wearing make up? Her lips were reader than usual and her face just had more colour to it and it had looked fuller than it had ever been.

Now, my eyes were a bit hazy, but the glow from the candles that dotted the walls were breathtaking and the red curtains that darted everywhere. And the bed was convered in crimson blankets and pillows. I really have to be dreaming this. Where in Oblivion did she get all this stuff. I was really too stunned for words. She slithered off the bed and wandered up to me and grinned.

"I'd been using the funds I never used from my previous heists. And selling things has been a breeze. Imported from Cyrodiil." She told me with a noticeable slur, pressing her lips against mine.

"Clever. Let me guess, you've planned this for a while?" I wondered, wrapped my arms around her.

She giggled and rubbed her noses with mine.

"I am what Vex called, what, Dragon Queen? It's only befitting of the queen to get the best for her king."

Oh lass, only your words make me aroused like that. So corny but I was too drunk to care about that.

"Aye and her king agrees. What's say you and I go king size?" I joked.

She laughed and jerked me towards the bed. We kissed passionately and struggled to take of each others clothes, well, mostly mine of course. Hers was easy as I took the gown off and started kissing every where very quickly. I just wanted all of Petra again. We gotten ourselves wet from our slobber and drunken pecks that were rather sloppy but we still held that burning desire within us still. I pushed her on the bed with force, as a Dragon King should share power with his Dragon Queen.

And our love making session was one of those of a greater passion of exquisite and unique tastes as we wanted to taste each other and our hunger great. We'd sat up as she sat on my lap, slowly rocking back and forth slowly ourselves down as we'd wanted this to last as long as it could.

It had developed into a beautiful scene like that of the slow burning candles around us, exchanging the small surges of pleasures that pulsed through our bodies. Our breaths were heavy and hot and our bodies tangled together in such a sweaty mess. Made more of love than of lust. Petra made little whines in between the larger and small kisses as we looked up and down each other, enjoying each other's views with perfect smiles.

"Gods, Bryn...uhh...have you seen Vex and Delvin?" She asked me in the worst of times as my hands went up and down her back and down to her backside.

"No...no I haven't. Though...before you dragged me in here...I did see shadows in...in...uh..the main chamber. Could be them..."

She chuckled.

"We'll see to it in the morning...for now..."

She upped the pace a little, making the surges stronger and her moans louder and hotter.

We'd came into a hot liquified mess and steam that we made for ourselves and sat there in the total embrace for a few minutes, before falling onto the pillows and pulled the blankets up and hugged each other until we fell asleep.

* * *

I was waiting for contact from Zoklot for the thousandth time and each time I would hope and each time I would find myself disappointed. I would have wanted him out of my body before but, I really needed to know where he was at.

Instead I'd dreamed about the clouds. I dreamed about a blinding light and that was about it. I'd been having a lot of those lately.

I'd woken up, with Petra staring down at me as I slept. We kissed each other good morning. She'd been eager to find what happened to every one else.

We got dressed quickly, stammering about before going into the open area first.

Vekel and Dirge were awake as they started to clean up the mess, as was Tonilia. Good on them for putting up with so much, throwing away bottles and so forth. We saw passed out bodies before us which was hilarious. Petra was busy counting who was there, on the floor, on beds, on tables. Dirge apparently found Rune on the bench and dragged his sorry hide to a bed. Vekel most likely told him too.

Petra noted that were, in fact several people missing. Tonilia pointed out in the corner was Sapphire and Vipir, according to her were going to punch each other. Before proceeding with a serious make out session with them ended up passing out cold where they were in each others arms. She had to give them a blanket to make sure they were warm. I really hope Vipir fixes his attitude though.

We then saw our beloved Guildmaster on a bed, with Malborn surprisingly. Vekel stated that he'd been crying and she'd been comforting him until they both fell asleep. Why does that sound so familiar.

Petra was more interested with what happened with Delvin and Vex.

"I don't know and I don't wanna know." Tonilia stated.

"But I'd check with the main chamber. Thyrnn said he saw Vex heading down there at one stage.

She nodded and took my hand to run down the hallway. I swear she was extremely giddy. I rolled my eyes as I was forced to join her.

We'd gotten there and went past through all of Karliah's things and peeked passed the shelves, seeing two bodies on the middle circle. Petra could not contain her excitement as Delvin and Vex laid there, still fully clothed mind you, but otherwise, Delvin was spooning her. Petra rubbed her hands, forcing herself not to squeal in delight.

"You see, we all take care of each other in the end." Petra whispered to me.

Aye, that was true from what I've seen.

Thankfully, we may have just got ourselves closer in ways we never suspected.


	79. Being

**AN: This brings two familiar characters that I think you'll be pleasantly surprised with. Although you've met one in this story already, they're... a bit different.**

**Chapter 79 **

**Being**

There's Petra the Dragon, Petra the Thief and Petra the Lover. All coming underneath the visages of what makes the Dragonborn herself.

The Dragon is the most vicious and violent, bringing her brutality to the table and smashing that table right up into millions of pieces.  
The Thief is smart and calculating, articulate in the way she moves and the way she plots and plans in order to get her goal with swift competence.  
The Lover is emotional and precious, the way her heart bleeds for those she cares about and the way events unfold have their impact on her mental state.

I've been doing an analysis on the information I have gathered so far. It's obvious Petra is unique amongst the populace however her situation is like none other I had ever seen.

Time itself is breaking upon us and I've used most of my resources patching up and putting back things where they belong. It grows dire and I'm still trying to find ways to stop it. We're researching this White Dragon and nothing has come up so far. With my Elven friend and my mute associate it's becoming harder to define what had started it and how we were going to finish it.

Last week we'd had a visit from someone from the Oblivion Crisis searching for something. We transplanted them back, but then after that, the numbers of random people from random timelines just keeps popping up everywhere and we're doing what we can to ensure they return home safely. Lest their own timelines be destroyed without their presence.

I've learned and was definitely taught specifically not to interfere too much. Killing was out of my league. I wasn't allowed to. I can only direct others to do such things. It's the rules and boundaries taught to me, and I relay that back to my servants.

Confusing I know. But it's hard work being the Realm-Walker. But it's not like I can go straight back to the life I had before. I've been where Petra has been, down that road where you're not sure what you're supposed to be doing. I've fallen into deep hatred of the world around me for the way it had betrayed me many times and that I accused me of playing tricks on my mind.

I've developed a lot since then. I've been told many times by Wheats that I don't take this seriously enough, that I just treat every world we visit like it's just some sandbox to play in. I always clean up when I'm done however.

I've been to dark worlds. Light worlds, strange and wonderful worlds. I could name them all but then we'd be here for an eternity.

My own story has long since passed. It isn't my place to change for the better. But to mold those who would then be made the wiser for the advice I would give them. But I fear, like I had mentioned once before, made it a lot worse than I hadn't intended. I just wanted to see what influence it had, and now it's breaking everything insight.

Do I feel guilt? In all honesty, I'm not sure what I even feel anymore. Define feeling. A melting pot mixture of inner turmoil, happiness and sadness, anger and frustration. The ingredients to a life of a sentient being, be able to think for ourselves and live the lives we want to and not succumbing to our urges like beasts. You're allowed to indulge but we're in control and we decide when we've gone too far.

I'd lost my humanity long ago. I've stood alone in the dark wondering what I had become, staring up at the shades of my life I'd thrown away. Because it was necessary for me. And it was because of my own stupid mistakes.

The Elf and the Mute, my two trustworthy companions have been with me for a long time. We gathered other able bodied warriors and mages to maintain the infrastructure of our group and I have ensured they are tested before becoming a Crusader.

Our goal is to find the ultimate truths. What is certain and what is a lie. To discover the means of our existence and the fulfilling study of the Seed Theory.

Doesn't it sound so magical? The Theory was put in place by an associate of mine, on how you start of at the beginning as a small seed and when you start to make choices, time develops branches of those choices and new worlds are created because of that. So there are definitely a near infinite worlds, some closer than the last.

Throughout everywhere I have had to visit, why have we not heard of this...Sotrahkun in all of the worlds we've visited so far? The words kept popping up everywhere and I was getting no where.

I stood in my study, staring at the reports given to me. Some seen in Elsweyr, others in the Summerset Isles and Morrowind in the past, present and future. I am adamant to discover this, as it was the most elusive mystery that I had come across.

* * *

I heard a knock at the door, looking up, I could see the thin face of my elven associate.

"Come in."

He nodded with his hands behind his back. He'd been a loyal friend of mine for while and he tries so hard to impress. Bless his heart.

"Uh yeah. So, we'd picked up another two wanderers across that had been found in, you won't believe, somewhere in Akavir in uh, one world."

What? Why on Nirn were they there?

"We're not normally interested in there. But you definitely detected abnormal auras there and not closer to Skyrim?" I asked him, trying to figure out why that was.

He nodded and couldn't help but fumble with his hands. He was always nervous around me, although he had no real reason to be.

"Yes, yes. Definitely, and I think you actually would want to speak with them. I sense they're more than just some random strangers. Well, Chell does anyway." He told me.

I crossed my arms. Not random strangers. People I would know...hm..

"Maybe one you know and the other you've heard about. Been mentioned a few times." He continued.

I was really curious. Matters had gotten more interesting as of late.

"Quit being ambiguous and send them in here."

Sotrahkun. I see the name burning behind my eye lids. The words that are written around us. What connection does this dragon have with the others. The name escapes me yet, it knows who and what I am.

They say it is good, but is it really? A creature of light that no one has heard of. I wouldn't mind meeting it and ask what has it been doing these past few thousand years?

I observed the ancestor moths that I have taken care of it the cave. Their whispers in constant chatter with the spirits lost in Aetherius. Tell me little moths...where does this all fit in?

A woman like me sees a lot, hears a lot. You become numb because you know yourself what's going to happen. But this...this had become more common and yet, we hardly know much about it all even with rigirous research. Still, that session with Petra placed out of time. It was random, but, was it planned.

This particular White Dragon I don't think Petra has met it the reports of dragons flying scared while humorous, I think its' something to be concerned about it. They're extremely prideful creatures who never back down from the fight. It must be a dragon of greater power, perhaps even more so than Alduin.

But the interesting thing is that Alduin exists in each separate timeline as par the protocol of the Branches of the original seed. Sotrahkun's name is popping up in random places in a lot of the time line's I've been to.

"For the darkness has passed, and the legend yet grows."

Alduin had existed and was taken care of...but whether...no wait, he's still alive here somewhat. Scrap that.

Is this question only Akatosh himself can answer?

I doubt a God would talk to little old me. I'd take a guess the only way to pray would to shout to him. Or there was a shout that no one knew of, that could someone him to you. I'm just making that up. But I wouldn't be surprised if one time line had that sort of thing. The Dragon God wouldn't allow it now would he?

"Uh love?"

I turned to face Wheats.

"Yes?"

He cleared his throat.

"Here are...well, here's the first one, who was prudent that she introduce herself first."

I looked at the one before me, clad in black robes with silver crescent décor on the sleeves and silver rims. It was...definitely from Elsweyr and I saw the black and white tail. She was clad in jewellery and a hood on her head and beautiful silver circlet with sapphires.

She took off her hood, revealing her white hair was plaited and hanging down her shoulder. Reached her waist actually. And the Khajiit was rather tall and her eyes screamed who she was. I smiled. She definitely looked more filled out and...older.

"Well, I wouldn't have expected to see you here cat." I told her. I was actually impressed.

She grinned.

"It is good to see you again Realm-Walker. For you, it must be only days since you have seen me. For Ayisha, it's been years."

I nodded.

"I see that. And...who's the friend hiding outside my door."

Wheats indicated they could come in. In came a man in armour I haven't seen a long time. Gold even, but looked like they were of an obscure Dwemer origin. A dark elf, with a surprisingly almost youthful complexion, save for the red circles underneath his beady red eyes, with his beard and long black hair. His aura was uncertain, but he held considerable power within him.

"Ayisha told me about you. And your current problem." He stated, his accent fresh.

I nodded.

"Uh yes... well, I know about Ayisha. I don't know about you though. But perhaps, I do?"

He crossed his arms.

"You know of me, you may have read about me if they bothered to write it in any documents. I've made as many sacrifices as any other hero within the last few hundred years."

There were many heroes throughout the ages as far as I was aware. I looked down, trying to think. He definitely, had that spirit about him, that was certain.

"Tell me of your heroic deeds so I might recall my history lessons then."

He nodded.

'Let's just say I've done some pretty amazing things a hero could do back in the third era, back in Morrowind."

I was geninuely surprised.

"Ahh should have known. The Nerevarine. Such an honour to have you join us. Some say you'd left for Akavir. Please, sit sit...uh, Wheats, get us some chairs will you?"

We'd sat down in my office and discussed the unfolding revelations of the lives before me. Ayisha from a future unknown, and the Nerevarine himself cast back into the game unknowingly. Perhaps one mystery solved at a time would be sufficient. I laid back and put my legs on the table, eager to listen to their stories.

Ayisha first explained to me she comes from a possible future, where Alduin had succeeded in his campaign, leaving everyone else, including Petra, left for dead. Ayisha had stepped up as her position as Mane and dedicated herself to raising an army to fight off the dragons in her mothers absence. While futile, she had tried to find new ways to combat them but had always met with dead ends.

She'd gone to Akavir to search for answers when she discovered the dragons origins from our neighbouring continent. When she did, she found Sotrahkuns name calling out to her and suddenly she had landed in the past, or at least. Petra's present while the young version had vanished. Truely, Ayisha had been sent back to Elsweyr for her own protection, and I kept in contact with one of the Clan Mothers to make sure she was alright. After that time displacement, things just got stranger...

She'd met up with the Nerevarine in her travels as he was busy researching dragon lore and ancient akaviri artefacts, when they were whisked yet again by time breaking apart.

"Sounds like quite the tale." I commented.

Ayisha nodded.

"Our time runs short Realm-Walker. Mama needs our help."

I had to agree. Though she still refers to Petra as Mama...heh...she make the impact didn't she?

"Any info you dig up at Akavir?" I asked them.

The Nerevarine bowed his head.

"Certainly. Ayisha explained the prospect of the White Dragon called Sotrahkun. A total mystery but for some reason I remember a few times the name popped up back when I was in Morrowind. The odd part was I don't know how I recall that. It's like it's writing messages across time itself and yet."

I rose an eyebrow.

'Annnnd?"

He rubbed his neck.

"The ruins themselves didn't originally suggest anything of the sort. I'd gone there on a hunch for some research but as the words had told me to go there to find something specific. I'd originally believed Ayisha for one of the Ka' Po Tun, but I was mistaken as her accent was that of a Khajiit. We had chatted about what we were doing and decided to help one another. "

How...fascinating. Get on with it.

"I had found some dragon scripture, written in their langauge. I actually didn't know it, but Ayisha knew it off by heart and helped with the translation on a Word Wall we had found there."

I nodded.

"Yes, the word walls that have helped Dragonborn in the past learn shouts. They were developed by the Akaviri for that purpose." I explained to them.

"Yes. I've found some on Solstheim at one stage, which prompted me to believe that they were done by the same people. But this word wall didn't have the strange energies that crept from the word wall's I'd seen."

I tilted my head, interested in bizarre word walls.

"Yes?"

He crossed his arms.

"The walls had come alive when we had approached them. Ayisha translated the text...Ayisha?"

I looked at the overgrown Khajiit.

"_Zu'u los monah do savend. kun tol praan kosil hil. Kiin do vahrukt do kiindah. Voth Uft gerik yahv vul. "_

I wasn't entirely well versed in dragon, I knew a bit to keep me by but I wasn't entirely in converse with it.

"It roughly translates to:

**_I am the mother of salvation._**

**_The light that rests within the heart._**

**_Born of memory of creation._**

**_With Feathers spread across the dark._** "

I was wary. The mention of feathers sparked inside of me. Salvation? Hm...

"Nothing else? Hmmm... A piece of poetry doesn't say too much. However the feathers nonsense is what grabs me. Have any idea what that means?"

Both of them shook their heads.

"No clue I'm afraid. But Ayisha told me about her ma Petra, who happens to be Dragonborn and shes in danger."

I sat up, then stood up. It's so nice when Dragonborn are in focus aren't they?

"She's always in danger that one. I have told her to follow the path given to her and to stick close it as much as she can. Time itself splinters and according to parchments we've seen it wants her."

Ayisha tapped her leg.

"It has to do with mama being Dragonborn. It just has to." She stated.

I could understand where she was coming from. The Last Dragonborn and Sotrahkun, the White Dragon. The bad vibes were returning. I was wondering whether or not it was a sign for anything...for her death maybe? I'm not sure on that.

"What is she doing now?" The Nerevarine asked.

"She's about to search for an Elder Scroll that's been spotted with a Dragon Priest known as Prolg, seemingly going to use it to find out a shout. That's what I've been hearing anyway."

Ayisha smiled.

"Sounds like mama would do that. I wish I could urge her with caution...but, what are you going to do with me now?"

I had thought about that. If she's from a possible future, I needed information on upcoming events that she knew of.

"You can stay for now. Unless you have things to do yourself." I asked.

"No...I am the Mane. I am a leader, however I do have communication with my Clan Mothers through the Laaglein if they ever need me." She stated. Well, if it's easier...

"I might stick around too. Elder Scrolls often mean bad news. And I'm all ears to finding out what this Sotrahkun wants to do. Though I have a feeling the world you're looking at will be destroyed before we find anything liable. I've been through some tight shifts, but we'll find a way."

And just like that I knew he had a spirit of a warlord in him

"Good to have you on board. I think I may need to give of you ground assignments. Help Petra find the Elder Scroll. Two things, don't die, which is the most important one and don't get caught. And be safe."

"That's three things Realm-Walker." Ayisha corrected.

I rolled my eyes at her.

"Yeah what ever. Just find the details with Wheats and we can get you both started.

I wasn't wrong how this was the most engrossing time I've been in. Even more so than the last. I'm eager to find this out, since it was new and exciting and I had looked more forward to life's greater mysteries. Or those mysteries would cease to be not because I had figured it out, but I fear time may end before that.

Thankfully I had faith in Petra.


	80. Displacement

**AN: Bit of a mind twister in this chap. Petras POV.**

**Chapter 80**

**Displacement  
**

This world is filled with monsters and those weak enough to fall to their power and their tricks. How I am still alive now has gotta be Nocturnal's doing for sure.

My dream was filled with lights again, flashes of odd trees here and there. A tree of blue. For what ever reason. Too confusing. Odd and I sometimes find myself in not a black void but a white one. Puzzling huh? I watch feathers fall around me and wonder where I am, listening to the whispers that echo around me, calling my name. I walk around and find nothing until I open my eyes.

But...the night had gone smoothly as I had dedicated it for our hard work and it may be the last time we'd ever do something like that again

Brynjolf had allowed me my little game and it had paid off. Sure we were drunk, but I'd like to think we all had a good time one way or another. Especially when I had planned to surprise Brynjolf with the nifty premise of warmth and a gentle night of lovemaking to our satisfaction and it was great. When we found Vex and Delvin spooning in the main chamber I was just not able to suppress my glee seeing them lying there, possibly unaware of what had unfolded. I wanted to ask, but, I guess that's just going to be a bit pushy and obvious as to what was my goal was.

Seeing Karliah and Malborn was a bit of a surprise to. Although he's had many issues, and perhaps I am partial to blame, having them to possibly, though I doubt Karliah would have pursued it, I think Malborn just gets sad when he drinks. Hearing his story was depressing and he may have needed welcome arms to pour out all his sorrows. Karliah's open like that. She could afford to be, now that she has the trust of the entire guild underneath her. She maintained our rabble better than anyone had hoped and built it once more.

Bryn and I helped clean up alongside Vekel and Tonilia with the dozens of bottles lying around the hall. Karliah had gotten herself up eventually and aided us as well. She didn't speak about Malborn, just commenting on how nice a night it was before heading back to work.

Unfortunately neither Bryn or I had much time to lose, as Dirge had come back inside and handed the pair of us a note. It mentioned that Prolg had been seen in Solitude recently, possibly to rendezvous with the Thalmor planted there. When asked about the person who found this out, he said that it was from a friend.

We'd spoken with Karliah, told her that we had to move quickly. She wished us luck and for Nocturnal to guide us through the shadows as we had gotten ourselves ready. We wish we could have seen the outcome when Delvin and Vex would actually awaken, but alas, time was short.

After that stage we rode our horses quickly to Solitude. I had the message burned in my mind. Not it's content but it's meaning. I had dark feelings about it, unsure what was going to unfold before us. Bryn was okay. We had each other's backs. But heading back into the field of strange power was something I'd almost gotten used to by now and the colossal force that opposed us, didn't even match the might of the many dragons that I had faced.

* * *

It was sunset when we arrived in Solitude, the shadows themselves allowing us to hide ourselves to investigate and finally claim the Elder Scroll needed to discover a way to defeat Alduin.

Leaving the horses at the stables, we went inside and stuck ourselves to the darkness. It may have been Erikur who had left us a message, so we agreed to visit him first to find out what the Thalmor were doing.

Going to his huge house closer to the Blue Palace, it made me think if I should have taken up the position of Thane like Balgruuf had supposedly offered me. Cowardice shouldn't be rewarded but it would have been nice to have a Jarl in the pocket. Erikur lead us inside after looking out, up and down the road as if suspecting someone was watching him.

He sat us down in his luxurious mansion and had his sister serve us some drinks. I think he's a jerk but he's on our side so that's something. We mentioned the topic of the letter he'd sent us, however he was a bit confused by it all.

"No, I don't remember sending any letters. But I have seen the elves come back and forth from the Blue Palace."

I tilted my head.

"So they're planning something. Definitely." I stated.

Erikur crossed his arms.

"One of the Thalmor leaders talks with Falk often. Falk doesn't like him though and rejects suggestions of the infrastructure on the town. Any talks get butted down. If it was up to me I wouldn't booted their insufferable kind back to Oblivion. They've done nothing but robe the Empire from day one. No offence."

I shrugged.

"None taken."

Bryn rubbed his chin.

"Any idea they why want to change the infrastructure?" He asked.

Erikur was one of those solely interested in money no matter where it came from. Annoying and obnoxious at first but being 'friends' with an prominent and influential Thane that much easier.

"At first I thought it was a stupid abuse of power. Solitude could do with a change without an elves influence. This is a damned Nord city. But then I heard it was to do with one of the old underground structure with the temple of the divines. I think, what I actually know is that the Thalmor are holed up in there right now. Probably rebuilding it or something."

* * *

Brynjolf and I thanked Erikur and left his place immediately and the haste of knowing they were nearby and was just couldn't stay there forever. We rushed to the temple and wondered what they were actually doing. We prepared ourselves and summoned out Nightingale Armour, prepare for a possibly tough sight.

I opened the doors, seeing an odd sight, but something dark as well riled up within. I wasn't feeling any good about this place, not like it had used to. One side of the temple was filled with men in ancient nord armour and the other side with Thalmor. The whole place was lit up with candles and...I could see Sotrahkun's name written absolutely everywhere. But written in blood and was glowing, strangely enough.

There was a chant of an indecipherable nature running through the room. A magic unknown that sifted throughout the air was disturbing, yet the whole room was glimmering. I wanted to leave, fearing what was going to happen next.

We should have made noise when we opened the door, but no one had acknowledged our presence. Blessings from Nocturnal, I'd wager. We ushered ourselves up the stairs to get a better view of what they were doing down there.

At the front of the temple, we saw Prolg and one of the Thalmor, not Elenwen but another elf and from the discussion we eared on, his name was Ancano. I could have sworn to have heard that name back at the College of Winterhold. What was he doing here?

"Can you make out what they're saying?" I asked Bryn.

He shook his head.

"No, I can't. Must be speaking in another language...or the priest isn't offering his two septims to me anymore."

Damn, I just wanted to know what they were talking about.

We watched Prolg raise his hands and stop the chanting to a halt. That smug look on his face continued to piss me off, strutting around in that Ebony Dragonplate Armour of his. Had to have been custom made, adorning the cloak with a dragon symbol on it.

"Friends, and loyal allies, I am pleased to say that we've been getting the messages from our belioved. Alduin. As we all know quite well is that he was our ancient Dragon God, like Akatosh, sent as flesh to lead us to glory. But there are those who wish to stop us. Alduin can remake this world and will destroy the pain that life has given us. And we will be rewarded by being reborn into this new, perfect world." He boasted, addressing his audience with sickening charisma. His voice boomed and echoed throughout the temple with power and absolute instruction. I felt the waves around me, an energy unknown.

"The Thieves Guild and by association, the ones called Brynjolf and Petra, are roaming around Skyrim somewhere with their tails between their knees. I adhere to you, however we must leave Petra alive at all costs. She is needed in the ritual to start righting the wrongs on how, as you put it, were betrayed by the Trickster God. We need Petra for she, and those who have come before her, are the key elements in bringing forth an ultimate power that, well, is only starting to come back,"

Me alive huh? No wonder. So yet again I am a tool to be used for their schemes. I highly doubt that will ever have claim. He grabbed the Elder Scroll attached to his back and rose it before the group.

"So we have the Divine Elder Scroll. The same scroll that gifted us with the ways to live and the structure of the White Dragon, Sotrahkun."

So Sotrahkun and the Divne Elder Scroll were linked. Hm...

"And the most interesting part is...bring her in!"

Bryn and I watched as several soldiers brought in a cloaked woman that we recognized.

"Ma..." Brynjolf muttered, his eyes widened in disbelief. She had her hands behind her back and her head down. Prolg gave the scroll to Ancano and paced around the woman.

"This is Nemetona. Archivist for Nocturnal, Hoarder of Secrets, Mother of Brynjolf, Descendant of the abomination Talos and traitor Zoklotinhaar. A pool of power resides within your son, set as an example of the folly brought here by Lorkhan. Your reputation beseeches you and you had fallen into our trap my dear..."

Bryn was absolutely fuming. I on the meanwhile didn't feel well. The dreams came back to me, the whispers of my name in the distance. I felt weary, my sight hazy and my mind bent.

"Petra what's wrong lass?" He asked me, suddenly facing me.

I shook my head and forced myself out of the trance. What is going on now?

"I sincerely hope there is a place in Oblivion waiting to tear you skin apart Prolg." Neme berated.

Prolg laughed. He acted like he was nobility, like those who down the finest wine and ravish themselves stupid.

"My dear when this is all over there won't be an Oblivion to exist. Your knowledge has been valuable to us."

She grumbled.

"Because you forced it out of me. You better be careful...you'll be struck down before you know it."

Prolg grabbed the Elder Scroll and unrolled it in front of Neme.

"You've always been all talk and no action, willingly lying there for all to see. Let's have a look shall we."

* * *

The Cult and the Thalmor group started their chants again. My eyes burned, seeing shadowy figures all around me. Spirits that appeared of no where. But they weren't...dead. They became a crowd of thick darkness that held no faces as everything seemed lighter. They walked passed and walked through each other. I heard humming, a woman in white, pure white robes with no sleeves was striding towards me. When I say white, like a creature slathered in the purest silvers from clothes to skin to face to hair.

"_Dreh ni dir Dovahkiin. dreh ni dir Dovahkiin._"

She was...singing to me, her voice that has haunted me for some time now, a unique power that called out to me specifically. About what? I still find it weird how I am able to learn shouts automatically yet I don't understand the language itself.

I hadn't noticed that she was extremely tall when she came closer. The shadowy figures just walked passed like it was nobodies business. Ghosts of the echoes, like those in the Soul Cairn.

"_Dovah Kiir do Tiid. Hin hil mirodah wah zey. Aav hin worah voth dii ahrk mu fen siiv krongrah unslaar. "_

I grinded my teeth. Where was Zoklot or Ayisha when you ned them. I wish I had a damned translator. She was so over imposing though. The spirits seemed to double in numbers that I felt overwhelmed and rather anxious. Why were there so many?

"_Mu fen kren tiid wah orwahl tiid. Kuz faal Kel wah faal Movahven._"

Images of the throat of the world flashed passed my eyes in such swift and quick intervals. She was...showing me where I would have gone anyway. Still, don't need to see so many souls to get that point across. If that was it then I fail to see the connection.

"Your heart sees these as the unknown souls of ages lost. Those who have failed. Those who have died due to their mistakes. Many mistakes are made throughout._ Kiindah nol vokun do nil ahrk kliin nau yen do reyth do poguk._"

Woah...my mind nearly split in two with images of gruesome deaths of all kinds. Just...death by combat, by drowning, by dragon...what was this? Gah, get out of my head!

I fell to my knees again. Petra this is weak!

"Stop!"

Endless flashes of blood, fire...the screams. Gods...GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD.

"Time is weakening Petra...it is dying. You were born to die."

No...no I wasn't.

"Shut up! I am Dragonborn! I write my own fate"! I declared angrily. My brain was nearly going to explode from the massive amount of intake of all this sudden random visions. Get out!

"Fateless. Yes. The Dovahkiin that often succeeds is fateless. Just given what tiid was given to them. That is an illusion and nothing more. It is often made up from the Seed up to branches of the tree. To win, you must know the sacrifice. What ever the situation, one must win and one must lose. You should have died by the hands of Prolg. However the Suleyksejun Paagoliik saved your life, bending tiid itself and making it snap."

Why does this crap keep happening to me? For goodness sake just let me live my life! I'm on my hands and knees here...begging to let me just be normal for once? I'm sick of this stupid game and the way it forces its hands. I want to be free of this burden...just...leave me alone.

"I intend to keep on living...ugh...I have a life beyond here you know."

I felt a blasting glare from her, obviously unhappy and uncaring of my situation. Typical unknown spirits think they're high and mighty. I will keep going even someone tells me that I can't. It hurt...it hurt badly. I got up, then I ended up being pushed around the place by the sprits themselves, suddenly caught up in the crowds.

"You are like all the others. Trying to distort their fate. The others had a living too yet they were meant to die, so the right choice could live. That is how the structure of time works. I am forced to intefere because you are breaking it continuously by simply existing."

For goodness sake get out of my way! I was suffocating here!

"_**Fus...Ro Dah**_!" I shouted, clearing the way to the Lady in White as the spirits were sent flying away from me. I stomped towards her, furious. How dare she?

"I am Petra. I see you're a woman who swears by choice. Well then, what choices do I have at this stage and where will they lead me?'

She made a slow nod.

"An astute question. Your choice is to die as fate commands it and it will heal itself. Or in order to change time you must jump into the timestream itself and figure out how to mend time yourself, which is a very tedious task to mortals, who cannot see beyond the futures dedicated to them and the many others created through the variety of choices. Be wary, this leads to higher amounts of uncertainty and you may destroy other timelines yourself. The chances of survival are low, and keeping what ever sanity you have, the chances are lower. Making no decision results in the annihilation of all timelines, resorting Mundus back into a nothing in the void. Those are the only choices that stand before you."

I groaned. Certainty would normally be the case to choose but...verses the possibilities that I had. Uncertainty was appealing, as it it was the only option where I could survive. Killing myself just leads to the easy way out.

"Before we go any further, can I ask who you are to decide these things?" I asked.

She lifted her head.

"Mother of the Prince of Mundus, devourer of worlds. Ebonyscales...a creation in rebellion of the way life was supposed to be. You may call him, Alduin." She worded.

Mother? Wait? Mother of Alduin?

"You've got to be kidding me? I-"

* * *

"No..." I heard Bryn mutter.

Suddenly I found myself back to the Temple of the Divines. I stared blankly at the sight before me as Prolg put away the Elder Scroll. Nemetona was left on her knees, her body slowing burning into ashes and fading away. My eyes widened. I looked at Bryn, who appeared absolutely devastated.

"Bryn..." I whispered.

My head hurt badly, but...I didn't care. I needed that Elder Scroll. I have to set things straight! My body was inflamed with the most cold yet heated passionate hate for this man. I had to do something!

I jumped off the balcony and in front of Prolg as he had finished boasting his accomplishments to the group. Ancano and a few others were about to attack but.

"Ahh Petra! I thought I smelled the stench of Dragonflesh in here." He joked, fueling the hatred in my heart.

"Which would mean Bryn wouldn't be to-"

I took out Dragonbane and before he knew it, I had it hinged on his throat.

"Give...me...the Elder Scroll." I whispered harshly.

"Oh you're still feisty, that's a given. Zoklotihaar...get yourself out here."

What?

I heard a few shuffling noises and grunts from up there, then a might roar. No! Not this again!

I saw the tendrils of shadows and black feathers that shot up and shot themselves back down in front of Prolg. Ah crap...

"You are at fault here Prolg." Zoklot told him.

"Give us the Elder Scr-"

I opened my eyes at the sudden change again. The whole room was covered in bodies and in blood. And it was deathly cold. The whole temple was in disarray with everything either destroyed or smashed up somewhat, as I stood in the darkness the surrounded me.

I looked around. Trying to figure out what in Oblivion just happened. I approached a podium in the middle, seeing a message written in blood.

"Thank you."

I stood back and kept walking around, the wind whistling through.

"Brynjolf!" I called out. Hearing nothing but my own voice in the wind that ciphered through the roof.

Where am I? Am I still in the Temple or-

–

"Petra?"

I standing in the same position I was in before, however Prolg now had his hold over me and over Brynjolf via his soldiers and tied up. The room was brightly lit again as I realised

I'm...a bit scared actually. I don't know whether these were part of this displacement like the Realm-Walker said or worse.

"Let her go!" Bryn called out. He was back? What happened to...

I'm going mad.

"Now watch Petra, watch how he dies by your blade. You're doing the world a favour!" He called out, laughing.

"Brynjolf!" I cried. No...no...

I watched as Ancano had Dragonbane and pushed it forward, preparing to cut his throat.

No...that wasn't going to happen. I tried to break free but Prolg had me and licked my chin. Gross.

"Soon you're going to contribute the greatest thing. A second chance for all of us to live the good life. And you're going to part of it. You should feel honoured."

Did he honestly believe he was doing the world a favour?

"Suck it Prolg I'll mfmfmmm"

He chuckled as he forced as a gag in my mouth to prevent me from shouting. Bastard.

"Lord Alduin will be very pleased with this concept. Surely your calling is near. You'd be a fool to ignore it." Prolg said proudly.

The amount of spite in my eyes would never be enough to deal with the piece of crap before us. I started shaking as I boiled up inside wanting to strike so badly. My heart was beating faster as he was about to cut Bryn's neck.

It was then two dark figures came out of nowhere and took the sword out of Prolg's hands. I slid underneath them to cut down Ancano, who had entrapped Brynjolf. He rose his arms, because he wanted me to live. They showed no mercy as they cut down the group by a certain extent, then Prolg and the elf ran off as fast at they could. Before we could do anything.. The two strangers were wrapped in black cloaks. One Dunmer and one Khajiit...

The Khajiit picked the Elder Scroll off the floor. Why does this one look so...familiar? Is it the eyes? Or was this another time displacement?

Everyone else had left, while the pair before me introduced themselves. The cat had a facial structure and fur that gave her away. She used to wear jewellery...no...this can't be. I looked a the girl, thinking she'd still be young.

"So this is your mama? Huh." Said the Dunmer.

I blinked as I stared at her.

"Wow, Ayisha...you've uh...grown." I commented awkwardly.

The Khajiit smiled and hugged me.

"Mama!" I'm glad you're okay." She told me, her voice already much more uplifting.

I nodded. Even Bryn looked legitimately at her. Yup, his whispers supported the fact. So what was Ayisha doing here in the past? Is she gonna go back at one stage? Who knows? I'll have reintroductions irregardless. She just was so grown up! I was really impressed. Had to be time displacement, surely. She hugged him as well, just as being in her life like she was in mine.

"Ayisha didn't go far mama, but Realm-Walker sent help. Ayisha and the Nerevarine are here."

The dunmer grumbled.

"Yes you had to tell them now. Don't ask too many questions about it okay?" He told me.

He was wearing an odd variant of dwemer contraptions but nothing else was happening elsewhere. But...the Nerevarine? Here?

And thankfully, we do have an Elder Scroll with us now, so that's one step forward. But at behest of one already lost, and Bryjolf needed me more than ever. No thanks to Prolg or the Lady in White.


	81. Broken

**AN: And here it gets dark once again...**

**Chapter 81  
Broken**

No one knows what just happened. I don't understand. We thought we had it under control.

We were wrong.

I lost...Neme...I lost my mother to that...scroll. The Elder Scroll that Petra held in her hands. And I fear that I might lose her too.

Her eyes stare at it, ignoring the chatter from the Nerevarine, a venerated figure of ancient times, alongside Ayisha, albeit somehow traveled here from the future, described as horrid and a giant mess.

We got out of the Temple of the Divines, strangely empty and the sense of everything that went back to normal. My memory is garbled and torn, going mad for trying to get some sort of explanation for it.

I ...wrong. Saddened beyond belief. Petra put the Elder Scroll away, attaching it to her back and held my hand, sensing the sorrow in my heart. She looked at me with those eyes, those eyes that had a shine that wasn't there before. Whether they were from tears from sympathy or something else...I...the lass was trying to make me feel better. I think I'd be worse if she wasn't here with me.

Once we'd gotten out, it was day time. Skies a clear blue with dotted clouds and the sun shining warmly. But the atmosphere just was...different. Abstract. It had changed, shifted itself underneath a silent transformation. Petra could feel it too. But I couldn't help but notice the weird shine still. I still don't know what was going on.

We went to the inn and hung out there, sitting around the table in one of the tucked away booths, in silence as I made circles on my bottle of mead. Petra looked dead to the world, staring at the middle of the table consistently, unable to look at anyone in the eye. Don't start that yet again Petra, please. I grabbed her hand and run my fingers over hers. She looked straight at my hand. Her stare pierced through. She'd seen something and wasn't talking about it. She knows she can be open with me but fears that what occurred she might say that it's her fault or something.

All I remember is the darkness returning. It's happened over and over and by now it's definitely via the influence of the Priest. He says nothing and takes control when he feels like it. It may be my fault. I don't want to let her feel this burden on her own.

We were fine, but now...it's unraveled us despite the connection's we'd made earlier. It's in part our faults for not taking the situation seriously enough and what ever was going to come next could come at any time. Ayisha and the Nerevarine were here to help and by Shor we're going to need it. Our heads just took a huge beating that may take a while to recover from.

"I'm sorry Brynjolf. I haven't even known you for that long and yet the pain is something that I had felt many times before." The Dunmer commented. He's supposedly a legend from ages past, a power being revered in Morrowind. He strikes a similar aura to Petra. He wasn't a dragonborn, but one of those birthed to right wrongs and spears the world with heroism. And like Petra, not everything was seen in black and white.

"Aye I should be okay. I just can't believe how Prolg could fizzle Neme away like that. All that, using that scroll there?" I said, pointing at the golden tube.

Nerevarine rubbed his eye.

"They have great and terrible power locked within them. I wouldn't surprised if he'd offed that way. I'd never impose that sort of treatment. Abusing an Elder Scroll is definitely a wise decision. But I suggest it wouldn't be wise to discuss this at a local inn. Is there anywhere we can talk in private without the possible ears of our enemies nearby?"

I looked at Petra who pursued her lips.

"Our goal at the moment is to take the scroll back to the Throat of the World. Think we can walk and talk?"

* * *

We rode our way towards the Throat on our horses and horses that the Nerevarine and Ayisha had brought with them. Treading the path of the roads before us, I was still riddled with confusion and guilt but we discussed the situation with them both as we went.

"Like Ayisha mentioned previously, our mutual friend the Realm-Walker had sent us here to take of matters. To look after mama and papa as the went on their journey to repair time." Ayisha explained.

"The both of you?" Petra asked, breaking out of her silence. I think she just needed a bit of theory and recollection to get herself back into the groove.

"Yes, we're at best in the strangest situation, but having said that, being in Akavir raised some questions. And we're here for the answers."

I nodded.

"You and I both lad. Sometimes it's like we're getting nowhere. But we have to get somewhere."

Petra agreed.

"So you guys and the Realm-Walker talked about..."

Ayisha bowed her head.

"The White Dragon. Sotrahkun. Her words are written in Akavir ruins. The Nerevarine believes it is odd."

We turned to the dark elf.

"Yes she's correct. I'd gone to Akavir on the prompting of the words that kept appearing to me and I was compelled to go there after seeing messages of Sotrahkun's name. In my mind I see that all my life the words have popped up but. It seems recently, but honestly the words themselves have been popping up for a long time. Like my past is currently being replaced with new memories but seemingly remembering the old ones. It's given me several theories on what Sotrahkun actually is."

That's popped up to, I've noticed as well. And Petra has told me that on several occasions, seeing the word written on walls where they weren't supposed to. Sometimes in the middle of buildings. And one time in Nightingale Hall.

"Ayisha read a transcript off an Akaviri word wall. Realm-Walker had explained the details regarding the White Dragon of Light and Feathers."

Petra chuckled.

"Yeah, sounds like a bird more than a dragon when you put it like that." She joked.

"Hmm...but the information we've collected so far culminates into connections with the Timestream. Or what the Dragons call, the Currents of Time. Or Ayisha so tells me." Nerevarine continued.

I'd heard about that before, but I noticed Petra shudder at those words.

"Something on your mind lass?" I questioned.

She looked at me. I think she honestly wanted to get something out of her system.

"During...that little chapter in the temple, I know in my mind that I felt like I was going mad. I encountered a Lady in White. At first I thought I was hallucinating but it was rather painful to go through. She talked about the Timestream you mentioned."

Ayisha looked concerned.

"The Lady in White? Or the Regsokot? Those words were written down on several other notes left behind."

They really love using that language don't that? The Akaviri, from my lessons, were Dragon slayers. So it would be obvious that they would use it. But to that extent? Seems obsessive.

"So she talked to you? Hmph. And I thought talking with the Tribunal was a handful." He said with snark.

Petra smiled.

"Thank you Nerevarine for making it seem like it was oh so normal." She spoke sarcastically.

The Nerevarine seemed pleasant for an elf. At first glance he was youthful, but you get the vibe that he's seen and heard a lot for his time and for all the legends that had gone with him, it's any wonder that's not that cynical and still has a heart for this sort of business. I've only known him for the past few hours, but I figure he and Petra have a lot in common.

"When you get to my age, most grievances appear normal. This reminds me of the stories regarding the Warp in the West. Now that's a time gone mad scenario if I ever saw it." The Dunmer continued.

"Ah Ayisha read about that. An event of impossibilities made possible."

And yet that was similar to our own problem...

* * *

We made it the Throat of the World, as the Nerevarine introduced himself to the Greybeards and how it was an honour to meet them. Though they were stunned by not missing a beat in just being a calm and welcoming figure, they'd respected him just as they respected Petra. Gods know how many heroes we need these days. I'm just a thief with a mad priest inside him.

I wasn't surprised as Ayisha approached Paarthurnax on the top of the mountain, though the old dragon appeared more worried than happy. Petra looked the same as well. The shine of their eyes...they're hardened diamonds with deep concerns.

Ayisha hugged the dragon by his neck. This Ayisha was...well, more like a bigger version of her younger self. While normally it would make me happy, the state of Paarthurnax needed to be discussed. The Nerevarine observed with unknown intent. I don't wanna know how he ticks.

"Dovahkiin...you must feel that disturbance no?" He asked her as Petra walked up to him.

He then noticed the scroll on her back.

"You have the Kel. Hmm...I fear it may be impossible to defeat Alduin in the way intended."

What?

Petra was confused.

"Why's that?" She questioned. She was hoping it was something minor but I feared otherwise.

"Can you feel the Currents of Time as they call out to you? The other dovah feel pain, kren tum ko vaarnufaaz. And I feel it the worst."

Her eyes darted from side to side as she crossed her arms.

"The Timestream...is dying. The Regsokot spoke with me. Whether it was through the Elder Scroll or by other means. We were in the Temple of the Divines in Solitude. The Thalmor and the Cult of Slaughter were together in a ritual that...as a mortal, couldn't think to have had any purpose..."

The dragon was in deep sorrow. He didn't appear to be in pain, but he was good at keeping a facade up in any other occasion.

"Regsokot? By Akatosh, she calls out to you Dovahkiin. She is wisest of all. Tales of the Regsokot have come across the ages...calling out to those she deems necessary to mend tiid."

And I thought the Realm-Walker was meant for that.

"Would that have anything to do with the reason Alduin can't be defeated this way?" The Nerevarine asked.

"Yes. The Regsokot is the Avatar Messenger of the guardian of the, Reyth do Poguk, Tree of Choices."

This was getting a bit much and out of hand quickly with all this information that has been written no where in the tomes of history. It was making me pretty angry if I had to be honest.

"Listen, Paarthurnax, I'm sick and tired of all the nonsense that is just getting us absolutely no where. Either there is a way to defeat Alduin or there isn't. Stop being so damned ambiguous and just give us an answer." I called out. Ayisha and Petra turned to me, perplexed as to why I was really angry all of a sudden.

Because I was annoyed by all the pitfalls and the torment that's never let Petra have her chances. She lives on a thread and I fear any day now that each of those days would be her last and by the Gods I can't let that happen.

"Krosis. The world is a mess. Each Dovah is perfectly attuned to the currents and I am holding back my urges to kill Petra, because it is within my primal nature to do so." He revealed.

Ayisha was the next to get pissed off.

"Why would you need to kill Mama? Mama is willing to do more for this world than anyone!"

Nerevarine rolled his eyes.

"Because she's the only one." He said sarcastically.

The dragon looked at Petra with a profound sadness in his eyes.

"Dovahkiin, you love this world do you not?" He asked her.

Despite all the crap that the world has given my lass, she still loves it...since there is still beauty left in the world for her protect. She raised her hand and opened and closed it, staring at the tool she had been using all her life.

"This world is the one I was born in. And we all have the right to protect it. Not as a hero, but a decent human being. I have stolen to survive and it does not make me innocent. But it makes me a necessity to set an example for future heroes. Just like the Nerevarine and the Champion of Cyrodiil."

Paarthurnax bowed his head.

"The Dovah are out for your sos more than ever. We feel it within us to dominate but..."

Petra nodded.

"You were all Amethyst Dragons at one point. You protect the Laaglein...the unstable force closest to the Timestream. It is in all of the dovah's best interests is it not?"

Paarthurnax raised his head.

"That is in the ancient past. The Kel on you is the same that had given us a precedence to an ultimate power that would allow us to be who we are now. Suleyk mii ahrk kroved."

So much entailed in the basis of creation. Who knew the Dragons had such a past?

"So we can't just do nothing then. The...Regsokot...told me I had three options. One, die to stabilize the stream..." She started off.

No...she can't do that.

"Two, jump into the Timestream with the uncertainty of what was going to happen not with this world, but the thousands of others connected to it."

Dangerous. But if it gave us a chance...

"Three..do nothing and let time destroy itself. That would be less hassle but I doubt that would weigh well on everyone's shoulders."

No. No it wouldn't.

"And have you made your choice Dovahkiin?" He asked her.

"What kind of question is that? How dare you." I called out.

Paarthurnax raised his wings and flapped into the air.

"It is a question she will need to answer, joor. If the Regsokot has told her that she must choose, then it is up to the Dovahkiin to decide."

This was getting aggravating on how he treated her as able to make a decision like that so easily.

"She is Dragonborn, but you are forgetting this is Petra too. The same Petra has been through enough."

Paarthurnax nodded.

"Very well. I will not stop you with any decision you decide to make. I cannot speak for the other dovah however...come back up here when you have decided. Choose well."

He'd flown off, allowing us to plan our next move. He still couldn't say why the decision had been changed, to why the original idea was no longer valid. This was making my blood boil. I want Petra to make the right decision for herself. I...am I selfish for wanting her alive? Will the world end if she refuses? I don't know.

She stood there with her legs tight together. No...Petra don't...

She fell to the ground in the snow, I ran over to her and squatted beside her. Her eyes had gone firmer, steeling themselves from the conflicts she was having within her.

"I don't want to die Brynjolf..." She spoke softly, her voice croaking.

I sat next to her and put my arm around her and brought her close. This was a terrible position she was being forced in, a position she never even wanted. And where was the Realm-Walker in all of this? She was much a part of this.

Ayisha ran towards us and sat on the other side of Petra.

"Mama, we'll stick by you no matter what." She told her.

I grabbed on to her hand. I was lost on how to comfort her with this. We stood her up on her own two feet and helped her down the mountainside.

* * *

She'd gone catatonic and unresponsive again. We sat her down when we arrived back at High Hrothgar and discussed what happened with the Greybeards. Shor, I couldn't stand her like this. I could tell she was trying so hard to make things go right for once yet each time while her work was spectacular, she was destined for failure.

I spoke with the Nerevarine regarding something like this he'd ever encountered before as Ayisha tended to Petra.

"Do you know of any way through this?" I asked him.

He shrugged.

"This is a Gods work. Mortals are not meant to tread down the road and meddle with concepts they know nothing about. I've seen such meddling in Morrowind and here it's all the same. Apologies if I do sound like I don't care, but as a mortal mind in an immortal's body, time warps your head all the same."

Immortal?

He told me the stories he had in Morrowind, as those written in the legends of the Nerevarine. He contracted the Corprus disease and came out with only the blessing, or curse with immortality. He being here suggests the one discussion Petra and I had about the problems shared with being alive forever. Petra was content on dying naturally, and nothing about this suggests like it was natural. We're not going to proceed until we know for sure the right option to pursue.

"What did you have to sacrifice to live forever?" I asked him. There had to be something lost for something gained, that much I knew.

He crossed his arms and sighed.

"Bugger all really. But if you want a bit of a letdown, is you watch the people around you die, years feel like months, months become days, those sort of mental perceptions you have. I fear the day were days feel like minutes. Fifty years ago still is fresh to me, even for an dunmer."

I nodded. I've heard of that concept, although I'd forgotten it's name.

"But I will say her path is not an easy one. We've all made the difficult decision every now and again. People say they'd rather not live their life with regret. That's noble. However if you don't regret a portion of choice's you have made in your life time, you're not considered to have a soul."

He explained. I understood that fully. It wasn't me being a thief that I regretted, but for all the times I felt like I failed to help those I cared about.

"The world is never in black and white. You cannot just see the straight forward facts. It's impossible. You learn to deal with what you know and put up with it. But...for me, I cannot afford to sit still while danger still lurks out there. Petra, if she's in a better state, can attest that adventure doesn't just run through the blood of a dragonborn, but to all those willing to make a difference can continue to do so with a fire in their hearts."

I smirked.

"Aye, Petra definitely has it. She vastly underestimates herself. Why don't you join us then? We can provide plenty of adventure, proven you have the guts for it."

He chuckled.

"Oh I've been there, done that when the Guild was alive and well in Morrowind. We'd bartered with the Skyrim Guild from time to time. Personally thought all you nords were noisy barbarians from the looks of all of you."

I shrugged.

"We can be lad, we definitely can be. Let me guess, you were sitting back as a Master thief sipping what ever that brew you elves drink there and eating the finest foods with your ill' gotten money eh?"

He smiled.

"Of course. I would have stayed there if I wanted to. But, sadly, I had other callings."

It was hard to imagine the Nerevarine himself being part of our lousy lot, despite being in another province. The Guild presents itself there on the borders although according to Tonilia perhaps during the darker days we had less hauls coming from there, I think Delvin stated there were more Argonian patrols but...we obviously knew better.

"Were you there during the Oblivion Crisis?" I wondered. I think this would be a question he'd be asked often.

He shook his head.

"To my shame no. I'd actually been living in Akavir with the studies there after I visited Solstheim. If anything I'd suggest heading there one day, providing we all survive of course. I am only immune to aging and disease after all. It's dirty work and back then I was more lax and I often procrastinated. Though what good is it when it's everyone with the flesh of mortals that's going to die anyway."

He was right. This affected everyone. I trust Petra to make the choice she needs to. I really do.

That night, Petra was put to sleep and was watched by Ayisha whom worried about her state. I talked with the Khajiit, who had told me about the future without the Dragonborn in it, a world forever burning and consumed by Alduin with no one to stop it.

"Mama can't die. Time will fix but death will come to Skyrim and Elsweyr." She announced, sitting by Petra's bed as she slept. I wandered over and felt her face. She was running a fever. Lass...don't...

"You think her best option is to jump into the timestream then?" I wondered.

Ayisha stared at Petra.

"The Laaglein is a good place to rest. Ayisha placed scents on the bedside table to ward her off going near the timestream. If Mama is resting, then her intention may be to going to go in there."

I rose an eyebrow.

"Without telling anybody?"

Ayisha nodded.

"Mama can only fix the timestream if her mental state is stable. She is unable to make crucial decisions with a mind so distorted. Needs to heal and understand consequences of entering the Currents."

I'd rather her not go in this state either. But it was just filled with unknown implications on what would actually occur if she did.

"Ayisha says we can into the College of Winterhold's library to find out more. It has to have more." Ayisha suggested.

I agreed, taking Petra's hand and kissing it as she appeared to be struggling in her sleep, her eyes clenching. She stopped shifting as I held her hand.

"I like that idea Ayisha. It'd be good to know about what we're dealing with then to go face first without knowing left from right."

It was a plan that had to wait until morning to tell Petra, given she recovers from her catatonia. She's getting herself than I'd hoped, but I just can't help but wonder...

I know there's a cycle to these things, if my studies have taught me anything. A cycle of a hero, like Talos, like the Nerevarine, like the Champion of Cyrodiil and...like Petra...and they're given these many gifts and yet the world continues to turn as normal because they saved the world they were born in.

I'd think about the priest and wonder what he's thinking about this. What about the Dragonborn of his time? What did become of them? Why is that has to be Petra to die or else we are doomed. Lass never asked for any of this. Neither did I.

I laid in bed and wondered, had I not recruited her, had I recruited...someone else with the same caliber? The same nerve and still just not Dragonborn...would events turn be similar?

Mercer would still be alive and would have gotten away scot-free for murder. Fate is a cruel mistress.

I was then woken up by the Nerevarine, saying that Petra had gone missing. I looked over to her bed, as Ayisha had awoken up and cursed herself for not staying awake with her. No, it wasn't her fault. My mind went to the comforting fact that she would have most likely gone up to see Paarthurnax and sleep underneath his wing. She was fine, I was sure of it.

I told them I'd handle it to check on her and that it was going to be okay, but none of them believed me and waited for me to come back with Petra.

* * *

I wandered out to the courtyard and looked down, seeing footsteps in the snow. My brow furrowed as I followed alongside them, leading me to the tower. Ah so she was probably lookig at Skyrim below us, just not able to sleep again.

I went up the steps with the intention of sitting by her. I froze as I saw her standing there on the edge, looking downwards and her back to me. No...no...my heart jumped as I slowly approached her.

"Petra...what are you doing?" I spoke sternly, taking one foot in front of the other.

"Brynjolf I'm not all surprised to see you here." She replied so calmly, that it was rather creepy.

"Was worried when I didn't see you in bed. Was gonna head up to check if you were with Paarthurnax but footprints lead me here." I told her outright.

She chuckled. The was not a happy chuckle.

"I've been thinking long and hard about this. Consider that I have felt myself feeling wrong after you resurrected me at Fellnir and the Soul Cairn. I had known that had been the case just couldn't define it. It's just that, while I saved the Guild and many others in general, would you rather have a world willing to defend itself against the dragons and without me to help or the world just gone, no existence what so ever?" She asked me.

It brought back the discussions we had about bringing dead people back to life. Hers was messy but she was alive...not undead, living because we were prepared and thanks to the Realm-Walker and associates. But no. I want her here with me.

"Lass you here is the best thing that ever happened to me." I told her.

"And likewise Bryn, I couldn't have asked for a more dedicated man. I fear that I had lead you elsewhere, from your original intentions. I was forced to kill your mentor, made you encounter the father you hated who killed the mother you loved. I've hid myself away when I became a vampire and sheltered myself as a Dragon soul. I've been violated, stabbing...I've kicked, I've screamed and been an all around weakling and you pick me up, each and every time and I tell myself I am not worthy of your love."

Because...love isn't about all that.

"You're a good person Petra just placed in the worst situation. I love you because you're you. Your smile makes me weak, your laughter warms my heart and you're fun to be with. Plus, you still need to steal a giants club." I told her. We both lost that night, in case she forgot.

"Oh yeah. That. I've decided that was as stupid idea Bryn. This whole thing has been stupid. But it has been fun I agree with you there. And this world is beautiful when you see past all the harshest parts. I wanted to live here. To live here with you and that we could get married and have kids someday...having been inspired by Ayisha herself. She's still alive, and that's wonderful."

She...wanted marriage? I still had my amulet somewhere.

"But you must know because of all this, it's not meant to be. I want to be alive Bryn and you've convinced me to live on as have all the others. Which pains me greatly that I have to do this."

My eyes widened and my heart dropped and nearly broke completely, my throat tightening

"_Lass..._" I said, voice hard as I shook my head. "Lass don't..."

She turned to me with tears running down her face. Similar tears that were shed on that day I found out what she was. And now I was having those same tears.

"It will fix things Bryn. It's so simple. The world will heal. And you can go back to the Guild, your true family."

I shook my head, feeling fury taking over my sorrow.

"No! There is another way Petra! I won't let you...I won't let you do this because some mystic bitch told you to!" I cried out. Gods...please don't...

"I have broken this world enough. And it hates me. It's hated me and tried to kill me. And it has. It was meant to stay that way." She told me with the first time I loathed to see her smiling like that.

"Why? Why now?" I called out.

She smirked, looking down and adjusted herself slightly and took deep breaths.

She then locked eyes with me.

"Because sometimes you have to do what you hate in order to survive. For everyone else to live, in this reason."

She turned around and took a deep breath. That was the lesson her father taught her. No! Just..

"Thank you Bryn...for everything..."

No...

"**_Wuld!_**"

**NO!**

In that instance, I felt the impulse within me as she descended after pushing herself up with the shout. The amount of dread filled my very veins and and the surge of energy fluctuate alongside my searing emotional comprehension.

I screamed into the air, the shadows of Zoklot's armour consumed me, with the summoning of the wings that followed. I made no hesitation as I spread them and charge off the tower, spearing downwards to find Petra.

Her eyes were closed wind drifted by, pushing by. I sped down as fast as I could. Get down faster Bryn come on...

I went underneath her and caught her, much to her dismay as she was lost in one of trances. I felt instant relief as I held her in my arms, flowing around half way down the mountain.

I made our way towards back to the top of the tower and landed down and running towards the back. I was...so pissed off she was willing to do that as I gritted my teeth, letting her stand then grabbing her and pushing her against the wall, my wings enveloping her and preventing her from even considering doing that again. I was seething through teeth.

"Don't you _EVER_ attempt that again..." I spoke with a tranquil fury.

She just looked at me with her eyes widened with a flabbergasted expression.

"Bryn...don't..."

I just pushed her harder on the wall, putting my face closer to his.

"Don't what? After I told you not to do it? You call this simple. I call it the easy way out."

She shook her head.

"It wasn't an easy decision to make." She muttered out, with her tears still streaming. So were mine.

"No...but it's the easiest way because it's not hard to do once it's been done. So here's what we've got planned. We're going to go to Winterhold...and read up. We're going to beat the Gods at their own game...then we will kill Alduin, then we do what the Oblivion we like afterwards. We get married, have kids, what ever that doesn't involve any of this...screwing with our minds..."

She whimpered, her shoulders shook in tandem and her head fell. I grabbed her chin and forced her to look me in the eye.

"I...I am...sorry..."

I sighed.

"Promise me lass, you won't die...tell that you whom ever you encounter. Because you are mine and I am yours. Because I love you too much for you to make stupid choices like this. You do have the power to change this if you at least try..."

She was giving me mixed messages as I tried to read her bloodshot eyes. I never want to put her through it, but it's the only opportunity we have to fight this. To set it right again. I want her to do what she can for the best of herself and come out kicking ass.

"Lass..."

She pursued her lips.

"I...I promise...I promise not to die...because I wouldn't stand being alone with you...and I want us to do what we can. For everyone...my head hurts."

I let go of her, my total rage ceasing as the armour faded away, going back to my normal thieves guild gear. I brought her into a sudden hug, wrapping my arms around her tightly. I felt her reciprocate, which was a good sign.

"It's okay lass...even if it's not...we're still drawing breath right now. And if we have that then we still are okay."

She nodded.

"I guess...it's what the Regsokot told me that made me think...no it doesn't matter. What matters is what I think and what I can do." She said, voice sounding a bit more firmer.

"That's true. You tell yourself that. Consider everything impossible to be possible unless proven. Never forget we're here. Alright?"

* * *

She's a crazy lass I tell you what...offing herself to save the world. It's just not right. You may call me crazy too for saving her and for even loving her. I should expect nowadays for her to pull off stunts like these. But this tripped me over the edge and called on Zoklot's power without him being there. Brought on by the love. I didn't think I would have been able to save her otherwise.

Made me think of where the priest was. I was able to take his power without his permission. Could prove useful. But...for now, we're stable and I was willing to finish this. We walked back to the Monastery with Petra admitting shame for what she tried to do and not to tell this to the others. I said I would tell them she was meditating...

She gets put on both sides of the spectrum. It get's ridiculous. For now, I put her back to bed and kissed her, giving her much needed warmth, assuring the others of the story I told. She smiled, which was a start.

Thankfully, we might actually be able to do this.


	82. Study

**AN: Annnndd...darker it goes...**

**Chapter 82**  
**Study**

I honestly feel like I have no control over my actions. I am told I am gifted with choice. But's the most difficult choices that I am given and any that I decide to go along with, each of them, have ramifications for the future.

I had hoped that my sacrifice would have it straight, but Brynjolf was not having a bar of it. He was so pissed off that me committing suicide was the stupidest action I could take. I had taken it as the option most open to me and the way that life could move on without me, but...he had said it was the easiest for me to commit to.

My mind's been splintered and abused a lot. I'm like in the ocean, with my head barely above the water and my hand reaches out to anyone who could take it and pull me out. There have been others willing to save me, but what would have happened if no one had been there?

I am not worthy of my role and as a Nord, that would be seen as the cowardly way out. People look at it and think that it's something that's so heinous and the worst they would call you is a milk-drinker. I'm okay with that...I deserve it.

Everything that was thrown at me as resulted in a cavalcade of chaos, my mind jumbled at the contradictions my role has. I am born to defeat Alduin and save the land yet I am born to die so they one timeline of me can succeed? Had I had done something different, would I have lived?

It's difficult to attain to, that's for sure. A line crossed and now we're all paying for it. How you feel that everything will be destroyed in a whirlwind of pure destruction simply because you exist? The Realm-Walker had been wrong to save me and now I'm just a pure messed up girl.

She tells me that I have the power to succeed. Hmph...maybe not in this timeline. Not in this world. She calls me a precious being, then I look at all the crap that's happened to me. How am I destined for this?

Brynjolf kept a closer eye on me after that. I am...fearful for his rage if I am do that again. It's a last resort option I suppose, but he's determined to make sure that what ever I get myself into, that I would come out on top.

The four of us had navigated our way to the College of Winterhold, to discover more about this timestream, or the Currents of Time that Paarthurnax seems to enjoy calling. I had the Elder Scroll still strapped to my back. My mind was in limbo between broken and the facade that I forced myself under.

I am wary to the timestream being broken, I feel every crack and wound, that I cannot see or even know their exact location. The price of having a Dragon soul has it's negative side, so now I was hurting mentally and spiritually. Physically? Well that's yet to happen again just yet.

* * *

We let the Altmer at the gate know we just need access to the library and that we meant the College no harm and that Enthir could vouch for us as...uh, fellow mages. She was wary but let us through, warning us of Urag's policy on books in his Arcaeneum.

Venturing inside, The Nerevarine made comment on the College's infrastructure, while Ayisha's presence was met with a whistle, from the Khajiit mage who had been practicing spells outside. She brushed him off with an elegance and poise that I was envious of. I'm proud of her.

I had spoken with the Old Orc in charge, who was sitting behind his bench, on suggestions on what books to read that might relate to the Timestream... he was...welcoming...somewhat.

"Timestream huh? So you're looking into the Seed Theory then?" He asked us.

I nodded. Can't exactly say what we're doing at the moment, or what's going on.

"Yes. We're uh...looking into matters pertaining the dragons you know?" I stated.

He grumbled.

"Bah...they're good for study but terrible for our mages. Nords turn their backs on us and when it suits them they come crying to us for help. I'm sorry but that's their own damn problem." He scolded.

I rolled my eyes.

"They're intertwined with time itself. We're doing a bit of research on how to defea-"

"Wait what is that on your back?"

My eyes darted behind me

"Oh this? Nothing, just paperwork of mine I like to keep stored in there."

His eyelids dropped, giving me a soft glare.

"Don't play dumb with me. That's an Elder Scroll ain't it? No wonder you wanna look into the Timestream. Look, it's not my business if you wanna partake in some research here, but if you're gonna start messing with time itself, it'll mess with you right back."

The Nerevarine and I exchanged glances. He had to have known.

"So you're aware of all the problems in Skyrim then? Things are where they're not supposed to be, people coming up at random times..." The Dunmer stressed.

He stood up, going to one of the bookshelves and tried to avoid eye contact as shuffled through them.

"Yes we're aware. Most of the reports should be taken with a grain of salt. Probably Skooma increase since the Thieves Guild has gotten back to power recently."

I rose an eyebrow as I looked at Brynjolf who shrugged. How in Oblivion did he come to that conclusion.

"So nothing in Winterhold has come up as suspicious or weird lately?" I questioned.

He sighed.

"If we investigated every dragon sighting or what ever, we'd be out of our resources when it's most likely tricks of illusion. The real matter to investigate is the source itself. So you're here to Investigate the Timestream, a matter of the Seed Theory that was once written down by a old Dragon Priest. ho had been there to find it."

I crossed my arms. That wouldn't surprise me.

"I'm aware of it as well. It has connections to a place known as the Laaglein, or the Dream World, so I have heard."

Urag nodded.

"Exactly. The Laaglein is famous for confusing a lot of people and their dreams. The Currents of Time is a huge matter for the dragons...ahh here we go..."

He took out a huge brown book, dusty and crusty enough to be considered ancient.

"It's written in the Dragon language. Hope you can read it. And for the sake of Julianos, try not to mess it up" He told us.

He sat down around a table as he we had left the book open for Ayisha to read. She skimmed through it, searching for anything that might be remotely useful.

"The Currents of Time flow through the Timestream, seen to me as on top of a misty mountain. My Master had instructed me to visit there to get as much information from it as possible. I was there for a few months, delegating experiments. What happens if you decide to go into the Stream? I had thrown an apple in there, only for it to pop out aged and withered. It shows that it has random ties to time itself. I threw another in there, only for the seed to fall out. It had proven my theory correct that I decided to call this the Seed Theory after the first experiments I had. I had poured many items in there and it was called at very random. Some were placed within and did not come out for hours, days even weeks in different states. I started throwing the same items in there that I had already placed inside it, and some of them went back to themselves and others transformed completely. It was a fascination that I could not fathom to describe."

Random huh...doesn't describe much about choices though.

"It goes on to say how, 'While inanimate objects were being altered, I wanted to test a sentient, to see how they would come out of the Stream. I had kidnapped a few of the slaves to test the theories that were in place. A young man that I pushed in and came out years old detailed the experiences that he had witnessed. He said, he had been to another world, dark and filled with fire and ice. His family was long gone but there were no dragons in sight. An age without dragons? A future or a past? He was there for years and stated that he had his potential freedoms and married and had children, but then had to leave after his family was murdered by mer clad in black suits. Curious. Very Curious.

Next was an old woman who had come back but a skeleton with a note attached stating Alduin was dead. Dead? Hmm...it's considered heretical to speak of but the slave woman had written it over and over..."

I rose an eyebrow. So these people had entered the stream and ended up at another Era.

"Does it say why any of them were compelled to go back like that?" I asked her.

Ayisha placed a finger on the text and scrolled along.

"Says he'd placed a spell that would force them to find their way home again within the five year period."

The Nerevarine lifted his chin.

"How would they do that though?"

I rubbed my chin.

"The Laaglein is designed for your mind to be transported there. It appears the Priest had gotten there physically...which suggests there may be a portal to the Laaglein without having to sleep on it."

"The Laaglein is unstable. One could get lost." Ayisha stated with worry.

"Does it say anywhere?" Brynjolf wondered.

Ayisha tried her hardest to find any relating texts.

"Ayisha can only see references to a Master...Alduin?" She guessed.

I rolled my eyes and scratched my nose.

"Come on...so you need a dragon to enter?" I said with spite.

Ayisha's brows furrowed as she continued to scroll across, trying hard to figure it out.

"No...going into it, mentions Hermaeus Mora. Daedric Prince of Fate and Knowledge. Ayisha reads that the Priest was allied with him as he had taught him that he was one who could speak the language the dragons and use their power against them."

Wait a minute. I looked at Brynjolf with those suspicious words.

"You think...that this was written by the first Dragonborn? The one who who killed Zoklotinhaar?"

I asked him.

He nodded.

"Aye, That looks to be the case. So he was studying it for himself and his master. It's obvious he wasn't serving Alduin anymore and allied himself with the Daedra who told him what he was. Its starting to make sense."

I eyed him, trying to see and sense if Zoklot wanted to say anything. There wasn't even a fragment of a dark aura felt in the air. I tried to figure out more, until Brynjolf splayed a red book with the gold binding on the table. It looked familiar.

"I'd almost forgotten I had this. Even if it doesn't have all the answers, it may allow to find out more about this Dragon Priest." Brynjolf stated.

Of course! The family tree! However, we didn't know anyone who read daedric at this stage. Maybe Nocturnal could help...or...

"Ayisha sees the books author is Miraak..." Ayisha revealed.

I nodded.

"Okay good we've got a name then. Miraak. Bryn, does the priest in you have anything to add?"

Brynjolf shook his head.

"No. Nothing at all. I suspected he would have known but otherwise never have told me about it. I'd rather not trust him lately either. I'm wary of his silence and I feel he could pop out at any time."

Poor Bryn. He has to put up with so much. Most of it was my fault.

"If this points out all the Dragon Priests, it might just have this one you call traitor to Alduin's reign within. But...would this orc know Daedric?" The Nerevarine suggested, pulling his hair behind his ears.

"No he doesn't." Urag shouted from afar.

I rolled my eyes.

"Don't speak about him in earshot will you?"

The Nerevarine smirked.

"We'll find somebody. If he didn't describe the location of where he went physically, I do have one theory. Back during the Tribunal era, Sotha Sil was said to have gone through something called the Dreaming Cave to speak with the Daedric Princes, a gate way to any realm of Oblivion you wanted. So how the story goes. Sotha Sil was a weird fellow which I refuse to talk about. Anyway, there were only two places that I would heard you could access them. One was from the Isle of Artaeum. I highly doubt the mages there would give you free reign to the realm. I also heard, quite bizarrely, that there was one in Coldharbour."

I had a cold sweat wash over me from head to toe. All I could think about is Mercer. No...not this again.

"So we go the Isle?" I suggested.

The Nerevarine shook his head.

"I'm afraid that'd be impossible. I'd wager with what was going on with time that they'd be focused on trying to repair it. They're a lot more attuned to the forces of magic than anyone else."

Next thing we saw was Urag come into the conversation.

"Don't mind me butting in here, I couldn't help but eavesdrop on your little discussions here. You want to go the Dreaming Caverns from Artaeum, forget about it. Artaeum is lost and unpredictable. Plus, the Laaglein is an Aedric realm, not a Daedric one. Although I wouldn't be surprised if you could access there though. The Dreaming Cave is also known to be the Door to the Heavens. If you believe that sort of thing. I also wouldn't be surprised if there was a door on each realm to get there. Best bet, is to find a door in another realm if you know where it's located."

That nearly went over my head.

"Ah yeah...sure. Thanks Urag."

He grumbled once more.

"Yeah yeah...just...be careful when you're out there.."

We had some ideas, some good, some bad and others outlandish. We'd visit the Soul Cairn, knowing where the portal was, but...as the Nerevarine had told us, the Ideal Masters aren't considered princes. As planes of Oblivion are either considered infinite, or closest to, we weren't going to find this damn door without help.

We decided that we would need to speak with Nocturnal directly, our closest source that may be able to let us know where the door was. Gods know what would happen when we got there, but it was better than knowing I would still have to die for the world to mend itself. Brynjolf would just get pissed at me again.

* * *

We exited the College with new intentions, only to see a familiar Altmer on the bridge near us, coming back into the College grounds. Thalmor gear and a face that I had seen back at the Temple of the Divines...

"Ancano..." I whispered.

He stood there and smirked at us. Gods I wanted to slit his throat.

"Greetings! Oh I was just coming back from a meeting. I'm glad to see you're alive and well, Dragonborn. Prolg sends his regards." He spoke to us with that smug tone of his.

Brynjolf was going to lose it.

"You killed my mother elf. I'll cut your throat open!" He roared, unsheathing his blade.

My eyes widened.

"Oh Brynjolf, son of Prolg. A shame you're part of a dwindling breed. But look where we are. In the middle of a bridge over looking the sea of ghosts. You battle me here and you may end up down there. Your choice."

Brynjolf growled.

"Nemetona didn't have a choice did she? You killed her using that Elder Scroll. I saw it with my own eyes."

Ancano's grin just got creepier.

"Oh did we now? So it's possibly not the best thing I've ever done. No, I've already done that. And have been rewarded for it too... see?

He pulled out a necklace, made of some dark material and the pendant was in the shape of a dragon's head in Alduin's like, with two rubies for eyes.

"This is the Amulet of Alduin. He's been very generous to those who have pleased him. Giving us all the gift of the voice. Just like the Dragonborn here..."

My stomach dropped. How in...

I shook my head as the Nerevarine was deep in thought.

"So the Dragon had given you the gift? Hmm..."

"Petra is the real Dragonborn here." Brynjolf said cooly.

Ancano chuckled.

"Yes she is. You're lucky I'm not going to kill you all today. Cannot risk her death just yet. Although your friends in the Guild...perhaps Nocturnal never favored them."

What?

"What nonsense are you speaking of Elf?" Bryn roared.

"We had a tip of where your friends were hiding. Wasn't difficult when you approach the right people with the right pressure. We just needed the key, so we forced the Guild Master out of her hidey hole and with swift action, had the course of dragons singe them just right."

My heart was beating fast. No...no no no no..Karliah...Delvin...Vex...no...everyone..

I looked over the edge...I still had a chance if...

Brynjolf grabbed my hand and refused to let me go. He said nothing but knew what I was going to do. I forgot I had to promise him I wasn't going to die. I grasped his hand back and nodded.

"So, Dragonborn, you have the freedom to come with us. Because you know, we have the same goal in mind and I have been doing the same research into the the Dreaming Cave and it's link to the Laaglein and by extension, the Timestream..."

I started to shake. No...this cannot be happening it...

"Why is it that you want her anyway? Is it because of the Elder Scroll? Or because of the fact she's spiritually unique?" The Nerevarine asked. He seemed so calm in the face of danger and possible despair if what he said was true.

Ancano crossed his arms.

"That is none of your concern Dunmer. It matters that she is important to us and our pla-"

* * *

I opened my eyes. Again, lost in the void I had come to get acquainted with so often.

Again, left trailing around in the darkness that once protected me. I hadn't done anything yet, this feels like I was being displaced once more. Where in Oblivion was the Realm-Walker.

"Oh Gods Petra, goodness..."

Right on time.

I glared at her.

"Is this time being a dick again?" I said with scorn. In fact, I wasn't happy with her at the moment.

She nodded.

"Yes. Yes...definitely. Damn, I was listening to Ancano's conversation and suddenly boom, you're back here again dwelling in the void. No, listen to me Petra. Do not go back to Nightingale Hall."

She said with haste. I'd never seen her so...worrysome before. She was...almost panicking.

"Why not?" I wondered. "Is what he is saying true?"

She bit her lip and looked down. My heart was breaking for the thousandth time.

"There was another ambush. A traitor to the cause that was sent out to kill everyone. Don't know who the traitor is. Can't be Mercer, he's dead. Nocturnal has cut off ties and locked the Ebonmere on her own will. The key is still in place I sense...but..."

I looked at her sternly.

"What?"

She sighed.

"They're all dead Petra. Everyone's dead."

I fell over in a swift motion, only for the Realm-Walker to catch me.

"Petra listen to me. I know that killing yourself sounds like a great option at this stage but like Brynjolf said, you can't die. No...not now. You need to get to the Timestream as soon as possible."

I failed the Guild...just because they were linked to me. It's...

"This is your fault you know." I told her with heavy dread. By extension with my inheld rage, I punched her in the face, forcing her to nearly topple over and let go of me. I was feeling sluggish, slouching over with my near inability to stand.

"Take me to the Hall." I told her. My voice was low, creating the barely thin line containing the rest of the fire within me.

The Realm-Walker stood back up and wiped the blood off her nose. So's shes not all high and mighty. Mortal, like the rest of us.

"Petra, I know its' difficult to understand but..."

"_**TAKE ME BAAAAAAACK.**_.." I roared with unleashed hatred and sorrow, before my knees gave way and I was forced to sit down, I leaned over and sobbed.

The Realm-Walker looked despondent as she approached me, towering over me. How could anyone let this happen? I didn't want to look at her stupid face. She's caused all this pain. She needs to listen to me.

"Okay. I'll send you back. Do what you need to do. My suggestion is, and I know you hate me enough already, but you almost forget, while you have lost your ties with Nocturnal, there are a variety of princes you can seek out. You have the Mace of Molag Bal with you?"

I looked up. I'd almost forgot about it. But, the weapon is tied to me somehow, although I put it away in the chest back in the hall and wanted nothing to do it with, it reappeared in my hand, surprisingly. I threw it to the ground in disgust.

"Which means you still serve Molag himself." She said with a monotone.

If Molag was watching, he'd know I was weak for sure. Why would he still want me to be his champion? It made no sense.

"You saying I'd have to go to Coldharbour to find the door?" I asked her with disbelief and strain.

She nodded.

"Molag still knows your real strength. I'm aware of what you did to Mercer. It happens. It's an inevitable price to pay for betrayal."

I looked down, I don't even know anymore.

"Yet, I'm still being torn down from pieces of my past..." I told her.

She knelt down beside me.

"I haven't lied to you this far Petra. I did this out of curiosity and all I discovered was that it not just made it worse but it brought you nothing but pain and misery. I'm still working hard to figure out anything at all, maybe loopholes in the system who knows? We will get you out of this alive and I swear it."

I looked up at her, my face drenched in despair.

"Do you know of anything this painful..." I asked her, my voice croaky.

She nodded.

"I have lost a lot in response to what I had to gain. I have lost friends and family, like you. You say like the rest of us that will become accustomed to the sadness. But when you feel like you could have saved them, it's the overbearing guilt and shame that...yes, they could have been saved if you would have done anything. But you're not there. Mentally and physically. I have known those, others falling down the same path as you and have come out still in the dark, but know hold a torch to find their way. That's what you need. A torch, a guide to lead you out of the void."

She stood back up and gave me her hand.

"You are stuck in the ocean of despair, head barely above the water with your hand reaching for what ever could take it. Take mine Petra."

I gulped. I wanted to trust her, but...if she would lead me down the wrong again, I didn't know what I would do. I caught hold of her hand, as she dragged me up to my feet.

"You're right. Definitely. It's not fair for you to put up with any of this. I aim to aid you as much as I can to get back at what can be done to rectify. Please don't lose your humanity in the way. Hold on to it as much as you can. You're not a monster Petra. You are a loving daughter of Skyrim and would do anything to make it whole again. I aim to make your intentions swift and true."

She told me. I had seen a tear roll down her eye.

I nodded firmly and grasped her hand.

"So you'll take me to the hall?" I had to ask again.

"Yes. I'll come and help myself. The others are looking for you. Ancano had left them alone for now, not wanting to cause a scene. I'll try and get Chell to transplant them back to the Hall to assist you. Be warned, what you're about to see is..gruesome. Think you can take it?"

I gulped. My heart was already heavy. Don't know how heavier it could get.

But the others...why would I want to put them through it? Brynjolf needed closure as well.

"Take us then. Take us back to the Hall. Then we'll talk about returning to Coldharbour." I demanded.

* * *

In a flash, I felt myself drop outside the old standing stone with the scent of smoke and flesh. I saw the others being ported here as well. Unaware of what had just happened. Brynjolf took one look at me and ran over.

"Petra...you had us worried there for a – Gods.." He trailed off after he'd held on to my arms, his grip weakening as he whiffed the air.

"He was r...no..."

We ran inside, seeing the whole hall covered in ash and burnt up corpses. I stayed close to Bryn and wept into his chest as we made the slow walk around the hall. Gods...why?

"You have my deepest sympathies." The Nerevarine stated.

Ayisha walked up to us and rubbed my arm.

"Ayisha is currently in deep sorrow. Guild is family..."

She and the Nerevarine helped take the bodies and aligned them in the main area with the intention to bury them. I pulled myself together and looked over them. They were burnt but I tried to recognize the faces. We found Karliah in the main chamber, her body lying on the ground alongside a sword. She'd battled bravely...

The Realm-Walker soon walked in after and examined the chamber with saddest expression.

"Dragon's Fire is deadly. Alduin had allowed them to shout. None of them stood a chance." She commented, wandering with her hands behind her back.

Vekel and Tonilia were at the Nocturnal's Shade, his little bar, their bodies next to one another with their daggers. As we took Karliah's corpse back, I noticed a note on the floor, lightly singed.

I unfolded it and read it's contents. I put my hand on over my mouth and weeped.

"Lass...what is it?"

I...no...this is the cruelest of cruel things they've ever done. They have to pay...the note contained details regarding Tonilia's pregnancy...none of even knew she was. She was keeping a secret.

We rounded up the bodies we had found and identified and prepared them for burial, as the Realm-Walker for once was getting into the physical side of it, digging it out with the Nerevarine and Brynjolf. Ayisha gave a little prayer as I created makeshift tombstones out of planks of wood, inscribing each of their names with great pain.

The entire ordeal was agony with the long row of graves alongside them.

I prayed Karliah found peace with Nocturnal before deaths end...that her soul would find itself in the Evergloam before it was closed off again.

"The age of thievery is at it's wits end." The Nerevarine commented, sitting by Karliah's grave.

"Not even Azura would have predicted this."

Brynjolf held me close. I forgot how closer to the guild he was than I and that I sensed that while in his grasp that he was barely containing his own frustrations. I held onto him harder, to make sure I was still there. I had promised I wouldn't die. Even if the favour presented itself again. I'd forget by I knew Bryn wouldn't. I know he wanted me there to know...to make sure that his own two feet were on the ground.

Ayisha continued her prayers, speaking of her people that when they die, their souls are rescued by Khenarthi and flown to the Sands behind the Stars, the rest of her prayer in the Khajiiti language.

My mind was recalling all the memories of the Guild itself and it made me want to get this done quicker.

"Where do we go now?" He asked.

I sighed. His voice was so...lost...his face churned and his eyes hardened.

"We go to Markarth." The Realm-Walker stated.

"There's a Shrine to Molag Bal there. Petra and I agreed that we really need to..."

"No." Bryn said bluntly.

The Realm-Walker wasn't amused.

"We need a Daedric Prince's direction to the door. Or else-

"My answer is no." He said again.

I looked up at him.

"Bryn why not?" I asked him.

I held me in tighter.

"Because we're not putting you through that...we've already lost too much to this madmen an-"

"Wait, did Papa say madmen?" Ayisha asked, butting in.

He looked at her strangely.

"Aye, why?"

She pondered, then looked at the Realm-Walker.

"Solitude has a mad man looking for his master. Looking for his master hidden in the forbidden part of the Blue Palace..."

I don't know why but Ayisha expected the Realm-Walker to know what she was talking about. The white haired woman's face lit up.

"That's actually a brilliant idea. You may not feel comfortable with this, but this one is a little better than Molag Bal."

Ayisha nodded.

"Yes. Ayisha knows of Sheggorath the Skooma Cat...known to most as Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness. Hides in Solitude..."

The Nerevarine rose an eyebrow.

"I wonder if he remembers me..." He questioned.

We looked at the Dunmer.

"You met him Nere?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Yes. Odd guy, but I guess we can get him to talk. If Ayisha says he's in Solitude then we best head back there now to talk with him. If that's okay with you guys."

I think Brynjolf considered that the better alternative than dealing with Molag again, probably afraid I'll turn back into a vampire if he had his way.

"So, we ready to leave this place and get revenge, a soul for each soul taken here?" Brynjolf stated.

I nodded.

"Yes. I am. We shall have the power of those left behind in our hearts...I."

I can't just put it aside for rage. The sorrow always built up within and always just made me lose control. They didn't deserve this. No...not at all. I'll miss them. I'll miss their little quirks. I never got to see Vex and Delvin's reaction to waking up next to each other, I'll never get to see what was going to happen with Vipir and Sapphire...and...and...I'll never get to see Tonilia's child...Oh gods..

Bryn rubbed my back as I wept. My family. Both my parents...and my surrogates. Gone from me...

"Don't let me go Bryn." I pleaded as I cried into his chest.

I felt his adams apple bob up and down and his own heart beating quickly.

"Thankfully, I won't intend to."


	83. Champions

**AN: After that...yeah...more of the shocking aftermath.**

**Chapter 83**  
** Champions**

We're down to our last breaths. I know it. Petra knows it. Those who get caught in the storm die in it's wake. You actively defy or fly, the results are the same.

These are the same people I had drunk with, went on joint heists with, laughed with, argued with for many years. The same rabble that had lost faith and had it regained. Those who I had mentored and those who had mentored me. Those skilled and swift, those who had been in the game long enough to talk to right people and never cross paths with those who hold leverage. We knew the risks but we made the right choices to actively ensure that the sanctity of the guild was left in tact.

It was gone.

All gone.

Shor be damned that Prolg thought he'd get away with this.

I have to push on for Petra's sake.. I'm in ripe agony but I have to use what's left of my own to carry on. We have to. I have to remind Petra of her promise, but I see it in her eyes that she's willing to risk it. I'd told the Nerevarine and Ayisha of this, and I don't even think the Realm-Walker has to be told of the consequences.

We're left to fend for ourselves, the scars cutting deeper than anything we'd ever faced. Petra was forever left hanging on a thread, her mind wandering off constantly, her face pale and expression blank. The Realm-Walker suggested that she could be considered mentally insane, or at least on the borderline. I aim to make sure she holds on for a while longer.

She told me, not to forget myself either. I'm going to try and focus my rage and despair on those who deserve it and inflict my pain them as they had done so to me. I held on to my faith in Petra to ultimately make the right decision in the end. She just needs support. I guess with her there I knew we could still win this.

If you could ask me why, with Petra in the very storm they'd created for her, leaving her caught in the rain, lost in the wet with no where to go. It's because it's not supposed to be like this and she knows it. If given the chance, she will take the option that will ultimately force her to control her own fate and do what's best for everyone.

* * *

Ayisha suggested heading back to Sky Haven Temple and regroup with Delphine and Esbern, letting them know of the Guild's fate.

Petra herself could barely stand, but...surprisingly, she wanted to. I could tell she was trying so hard and was forcing herself to get on her own two feet. The Nerevarine describes it as better than not moving it all.

"Gods what in the world just happened? You're all a mess." Said Delphine. What a welcome.

I spoke for Petra. She wasn't in the best mood to talk.

"We need to sit down and talk. Circumstances have changed."

We wanted to help Petra sit down, but she insisted on doing it herself, much to Delphine's dismay and Esbern confusion. I had intended to speak, but...

"The Thalmor...and the Cult of Slaughter...they...destroyed the guild." Petra spoke. I stand corrected on what I said. I was impressed she was attempting not to be brought down by the pain she was wielding.

"They also have specific amulet's relating to shouts."

Esbern rose his eyebrows.

"What? So they can use the thu'um? This keeps getting worse and worse."

We had discussed the situation and brought them up to speed on past events. They were genuinely surprised at the Nerevarine's appearance as well as Ayisha herself. The Realm-Walker explained that we needed all the help we could at this stage or risk time itself collapsing with notice.

"So time itself is due to die. If Alduin does not destroy it first." Esbern relayed.

"Either way, we lose. Unless Petra does something about it." Delphine continued.

"Mama is in no state to continue. Mama.." Ayisha spoke, sitting next to the lass and comforting her with a blanket.

"It's...it's fine." Petra croaked. She shivered and huddled itself, with black rings underneath her eyes. She'd been in such trauma beyond belief. Yet she says she's fine with it. Facade's weren't fooling me, but...if she pretends to have that confidence then she might just believe it.

Delphine paced around the room. I don't think either of them knew it was going to get this bad.

"This doesn't make any sense. Why would time die just because she exists?"

No one knew how to answer that. The Realm-Walker, who sat furthest from us with her feet on the table, refused to say anything. You'd think she'd have the answer...

"_You are like all the others. Trying to distort their fate. The others had a living too yet they were meant to die, so the right choice could live. That is how the structure of time works. I am forced to interfere because you are breaking it continuously by simply existing."_

A echoes of words untold had entered my mind as Petra stared blankly with widened eyes at the table. Was that you, Priest? Are you messing with me too?

"The Regsokot...the Woman in White. Told me that I was destined to die so that time would go on again without failure. I have had my real fate changed. Because one is due for success and I was doomed from the start." She said coldly.

Esbern furrowed his brow.

"The Regsokot..." He muttered.

Delphine looked at him strangely.

"Esbern what is it?"

He crossed his arms and rubbed his chin

"It's funny you should mention it. I have had dreams in the past, relegating to the Woman in White in question."

Ayisha nodded.

"She is the Avatar Messenger of the Guardian, that who protects the Tree of Choices." The Khajiit said, recalling what Paarthurnax told us.

Esbern's face lit up. He definitely knew something. And Delphine wanted him to spit it out.

"Of course. I presume you all have seen the words of Sotrahkun splashed about, especially you Petra."

The lass nodded.

"Well, yeah." Petra replied weakly.

Esbern pulled out another book.

"I think it's strange that reports of this, White Dragon of the Feather's name has been written down in odd places. Nerevarine, you've seen this back in Morrowind?"

The Dunmer bowed his head.

"Yes. It's what drew me here in the first place. I was in Akavir myself with Ayisha investigating some ruins."

Esbern flapped through more pages. I really hope we were getting somewhere. It might help us before we go jumping in some Princes' realm.

"The messages have been reporting by major figures in the past. What's strange, that by this book that I have, was written by a Scholar, who had been studying Heroes and Champions of the ages. This Scholar was a blade hunting down old lore. And in fact had been the Archivist before me. He noted down how odd that the name, written in Dragon Language had been written in random places, only for it to be seen by well know figures within the past few eras."

This Sotrahkun really want's to get the word out. But for what reason?

"Mama and Nerevarine are the major heroes of this time line." Ayisha pointed out. I had no doubt of that. The Nerevarine was already considered a major figure, and Petra's legend had only just begun.

"Was there anyone else?" I asked.

"The Champion of Cyrodiil." Realm-Walker butted in from her end of the table.

"The Champion of Cyrodiil?" Petra said with confusion.

"I heard he disappeared a while back. While he helped save the province from Mehrunes Dagon with Martin Septim, legend has he vanished."

The Realm-Walker smirked. She obviously knew more than what she was letting on.

"Come on lass don't hold back on us." I told her, a bit annoyed with her secrecy.

"Esbern, I was the one who gave you that book. Go further in, towards the topic of the Oblivion Crisis. Tell them, how the Champion was once a member of the Blades."

The old man kept on searching for more throughout that forsaken book of his. I never would think the Realm-Walker herself to be all there herself. I am...wary of her, but we're short of allies and those who can aid us in these desperate times. I wouldn't go against her, either.

"Says here, while the word of an mysterious island had caught the eye of the blades member, who at the time was married, had several children, previously reports of strange letters appearing in his main chamber. Many thought he'd gone made, including his own wife. He'd gone on journey, and never returned."

The Neverarine contemplated.

"Given what happened during the Oblivion Crisis, I wouldn't be surprised if it had anything to do with remaining Oblivion Gates that had yet to be closed. So said the reports." He stated.

Petra rubbed her head, pretty confused by the whole thing. I patted her shoulder, to make sure she was still there. Her head up was up at least, attempting to look at people.

"So you expect us to find the Champion? What was he...an Imperial? It's been two hundred years after that, wouldn't he be dead?" She questioned. Valid point, unless he was a mage that achieved in lengthening his life span.

"Most likely. He was with the Fighters Guild, and a short stint with the Thieves Guild before retiring with the Blades. Up until that little incident at least." Esbern revealed.

I smirked. Figures. Most heroes are kleptomaniacs after all. Somehow compelled to find the greatest treasure. Maybe that was why he left.

"So, what's that got to do with anything? How does that help us?" Delphine asked the Realm-Walker.

The white-haired lass started flipping a septim in her hand.

"I'd studied the Champion myself. In many forms. Each different to the last. We had discussed the matters about accessing the Timestream via something called the Dreaming Cave, said to access all realms of Oblivion, and perhaps the realms connected to Aetherius as well. There was, perhaps a trip to Coldharbour discussed but Brynjolf couldn't stand the thought of Petra going there again."

Great. All eyes on me. Sigh, better explain myself.

"I don't want her going back there. She's had enough of what ever nonsense went on there some time ago. It's a Guild issue and while I know it won't be easy, we have to try. Molag is a dangerous character and I don't think we should trust him."

The Nerevarine rolled his eyes at me.

"Yes because trusting a Daedra is always a great idea." He said sarcastically.

The Realm-Walker had the worst smug on her face. Keeper of many secrets that one. It always pains me. I really believe she thinks this whole ordeal is a game to play. I do wish she'd take this more seriously.

"Ayisha, you said Sheogorath was hiding in Solitude."

The Khajiit nodded.

"Ayisha did Realm-Walker. His aura can be felt at the Blue Palace."

So we were really going to go through with interacting with the Daedric Prince of Madness? I still had no idea what she was playing at though. She better know what she was doing. I wouldn't mess with any Daedra if I were her. Even if she was some sort of...demigod or what ever.

"Then we go to the Blue Palace." Petra mentioned calmly.

I looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"You sure Petra? Do you need to rest?" I asked her.

She shook her head.

"We can't pace this Bryn. At any moment we can be displaced. Time is not on our side, especially when it's breaking. It's not unlike what Thieves do well...we break into properties."

Good to see her having a...positive attitude. Her heart was shattered and in the process of quickly mending itself. She's getting better at it, but in time she may become numb to it. Then there's the thought if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

"So you're going into Imperial and Thalmor territory?" Delphine questioned, as if questioning our own sanity by going where the enemy laid it's head.

"We have to speak to a man first. I'll go on ahead and speak with the contact I have there. Rest easy a few hours, then meet me at the alternate entrance to the city. We all know where that is don't we? Come on, I would expect you to know!" The Realm-Walker announced, standing up from where she was.

I rolled my eyes.

"Yes lass we know. We also know Erikur, so if we having any problems, speak with him. He's our insider contact."

The Realm-Walker nodded.

"Ah good good. Then I know this will work. Don't worry, I have a plan."

She disappeared in the whisk of her magics and vanished without a trace, while the rest of us were left in temple wondering what she had planned.

* * *

Delphine told us to rest in the quarters and get something to eat. We sat down at the table in front of the fire, embracing it's true warmth.

"Do you honestly believe Sotrahkun would be contacting Champions in the past about this?" Petra asked the Nerevarine.

The Elf shrugged.

"This dragon sounds exceedingly powerful, sending messages like this across. But, if she's sending them across time itself, it makes me wonder how far her power extends. It's got to do with Akatosh I'm sure. They don't call him the Dragon God of Time for nothing." He stated

Ayisha nodded.

"Alkosh to us is the Dragon King of Cats. Some legends say, he speaks with the moons, Jone and Jode very rarely, to send messages to his worshipers."

Petra looked at her.

"Do you believe that?" She asked her.

Ayisha re-plaited her hair.

"The expectations and reality of the Gods themselves contrast with your normal Alessian flavor. Khajiit experience and perceive the way the Gods work differently. The Empire may have forced it's hand in the past, and the Aldmeri Dominion is still out on it's way to stomp heresy where it lies, most Khajiit fail to care."

I crossed my arms.

"Do your people still consider you special in the future?"

Ayisha looked down in sadness.

"Ayisha has tried to lead her people in the dark future that she comes from. Elsweyr lies in ruins like all the rest. A Mane is not as revered to men as it is to Khajiit. Ayisha held respect and used Mama and Papa's example to lead a rebellion in this war. Ayisha tried to wean them off Skooma, but other say it is heresy. Ayisha has prayed Papa. Ayisha has prayed and hoped."

Even if we saved time, the world would end up in ashes if we did nothing about it. I didn't want to put pressure on Petra, but...I still feel she has it within her to defeat Alduin despite her situation.

* * *

We parted ways for the moment, waiting for the next few hours to pass so that we may have time to sort ourselves out. Ayisha went to go meditate out in the courtyard while the Nerevarine spoke with Delphine and Esbern. We'd gone to bed, Petra and I, leaving ourselves to recover from the horrors of earlier.

I held her close to me as she rested her head on my chest, content to listen to my heart beat. We were showing our wear and tear as the world continue to mount against us. I sincerely was grateful for her to be here with me, with just having her here still made me feel that everything was alright, even if we were stuck in a huge pile of muck with no way out.

I wondered if she felt comfortable going in another plane of Oblivion. I'd read up on this so called Daedric Prince of Madness and was curious why she'd brought that up in conversation regarding the Champion of Cyrodiil,

"Were you taught much about him?" I asked Petra, who was half asleep.

"Yeah. An Imperial who helped close the Oblivion Gates and some other stuff." She answered, half-groggy.

"Aye. So did the Realm-Walker tell you why that was relevant? Did you know the blades in Cyrodiil?"

She shook her head.

"The war with the Aldmeri Dominion had struck Cloud Ruler Temple, so a lot of documents were lost I suppose."

I nodded.

"So, what were you parents doing at the time?" I queried.

She shuffled herself about to find a comfortable position.

"Mother and father lived in Skyrim originally, they moved back to Cyrodiil after the war was over, proclaiming peace and all that nonsense." She replied.

Yet there's always that sense of unease.

"Aye, a load of crap if you ask me. How are...how are you feeling?"

She sighed through her nose and looked at me with those beaten eyes of hers. A world with those light blue bulbs of hers. There was a small amount of her spirit that was making a recovery. Which made me glad.

"I...I think I might be okay. Not...not sure. I know this has happened a lot Bryn and you could do bett-"

I pressed my finger against her lips, and pressed my own on her forehead.

"Lass, if I didn't want you I'd tell you. I know what you're thinking and you think you're weak. You're just being piled with a mess that you don't know how to clean because you don't have the right equipment."

She snorted. I rose an eyebrow.

"What? Why's that funny?"

She did that little lip-bite that was just. Cute. Saying that word sometimes send a shiver up my spine.

"You and your terrible metaphors make me smile." She stated.

I grinned.

"I could do a lot worse you know."

She shook her head and hugged me tight.

"What you could do is shut up and hold me."

I chuckled and tightened my grip more.

"Aye lass."

Thankfully, I think, we'll make it somehow.


	84. Palace

**AN: Amongst the dark, here is a fun chapter.**

** Chapter 84**  
**Palace**

It takes a lot to believe. At the beginning I thought, that if the world left me alone, that my life would just pass me by peacefully, like watching the clouds drift across the sky in the brisk wind.

I don't ask for much. I get what needs to be done. That's all.

I wonder if back then I had known it had gone this far, where life trembles before you. I had learned to care about those around me in the short time I'd been here. These reckless bunch of assholes and thieves are some of the best people I ever met. I think my parents would have never approved of these bad influences but I have learned a lot about others, about myself and about the world that continued to provide for me.

I wasn't caring about my own future. I was caring about the present. The way I felt and the way I treated others with disdain and a fueled hatred for everything, even if they didn't cause me harm. I was just, and still am, vulnerable. The Gods had chosen me to take down the black-winged menace because I am now certain, they knew what I was going to become.

The Nerevarine was in the same boat. No pun intended. A prisoner by accident yet fate had drawn him to become a hero of his age, that we might feel we're in the wrong place in the wrong time when it's quite the opposite.

His adventures were legendary and I still do not feel worthy in his presence. The way he takes himself into a considerably calm state no matter the situation because in his eyes I can tell he's seen a lot more than just what ever real life threw at him. The experiences numbed him slightly, and though he's immortal, it's not without it's own downsides. I'd come that conclusion that there's always a catch. He'd outlast us...all of us, within a blink of an eye what he says is true.

* * *

We'd gone to Solitude in the midst of the night, infiltrating through the secret entrance and navigated our way across the walls to head towards the Blue Palace. I still don't know what Sheogorath has to do with anything. Ayisha describes him a mad cat in her peoples mythologies. I'm inclined to believe, albeit minus the cat part.

The four of us looked out for the Realm-Walker. She'd been hiding in the corner, not far from the entrance to the Blue Palace. We avoided guards and kept an eye on the patterns. She rose a finger to her lips and smiled.

"The guards are everywhere and in hot patrol. however, given the situation, we need to a key to unlock the Pelagius Wing. " She whispered.

"I've spoken with my contact. Petra, I want you to have this..."

She handed me something, like look like a bone or what ever. I looked at her strangely.

"Tuck that away. You'll need that once you're inside." She announced.

I put it away, but was weirded out by it.

"So what do we do? I don't think killing the guards is going to be such a good idea. Plus the five of us heading in might be a problem." Brynjolf mentioned.

Late at night, with some suspicious looking people sneaking into the Palace unannounced...of course this is cause for alarm. Ayisha and the Nerevarine can use their Illusion spells, but as Brynjolf and I were no longer in tandem with Nocturnal, we were lost as to what we could do. The shadows may protect us, but it'd be difficult to...

Wait...

I had an idea.

"Guys, I could distract the guards out the front. I have a shout I could use." I told them.

The Realm-Walker nodded.

"Ah I think I know which one you're on about. Good. That will give us a small window for us to enter through. However, once inside, there are more guards in there. You're looking to go to the door on the right hand side. But, you'll need a key to get in. There are several people who possess the king the Pelagius Wing and if it's any consolation they should be asleep. Brynjolf, I want you to do that."

He nodded.

"Aye, but, what about the guards? Sticking to the shadow's is hard when you have damned lamps all over the place."

The Realm-Walker pondered.

"The three people you can find are Falk Firebeard. Which, I don't recommend trying to pickpocket, there's also the two servants. Una and Erdi. Head to the left side, and go to the Staff Quarters. You can't miss either of them. Do what you can to get the key from either of them. Without getting caught of course."

Bryn nodded.

"Aye, I'll try make my way through as much as I can. Don't worry too much about me."

The woman seemed pleased.

"Great. Now, Petra, you help get Bryn inside. Wait in the shadows if you must, be on the look out. The Nerevarine will follow. I believe we'll need yours and Ayisha expertise. We can't exactly pick the lock on the door. The Wing emanates a strange magic. Instead, I need you two to deal with guards the most non-lethal way you guys can. Nere, I trust you still know a few spells."

The Elf chuckled.

"Oh sera, you know I'm all good with my spells. Have had plenty of time to practice." He boasted, cracking his knuckles.

The Realm-Walker nodded.

"Then make sure none of them get in the way. Once Bryn gets the key, all of you take point, as he opens the door. Once it's open, all of you get in. Got that?"

The plan seemed solid enough, but actually, despite all the crap and my heart still aches to what had happened previously, to me, it was...fun. It sounded fun and it would definitely temporarily put my mind at ease. I was worried I wasn't going to be able to, but I usually do this stuff all the time, and I know I am good at it.

We went down to the entrance, avoiding guards as we went. We were well enough to stick to the shadows as we got towards the door, seeing the two guards there. I sensed a bit of...strangeness in this rich city, albeit, perhaps it's the possibly hostilities that warranted us. I really hope none of us gets killed for this.

I waited for a moment, before using my Throw Voice in the opposite direction.

"Hey Slug Breath!" It echoed. Much like a cicada in that matter.

"Huh? Who said that?"

I smirked. Ahh joyous. Stupidity. The two of them investigated the strange noises. Heh...yeah. I helped the others inside as we enacted our plan. I watched Bryn go to the left hand side of the Palace, with the intent to grab the key. Ayisha and the Nerevarine took positions on each side, staying hidden as we waited for Bryn.

We kept watch of the guards patrolling, with one constantly wandering past the door to the right. Damn it. Why did he have to do that?

Ayisha had this weird, familiar grin on her face. I think, she had an idea in what she intended to do...and before I knew it, her lips were chanting something fierce. At first, nothing really happened. The next, I could see the guard himself walking in the other direction, adverse the usual walking pattern he set for himself. I titled my head. Is this some weird cat magic going on here? I found it fascinating. He'd walked up the steps without as so much as a strange kick in his stride, but otherwise he had disappeared completely. What in Akatosh's name has she been doing all these years? I mean, what did she do between now and then? Gah...tense is so confusing.

Brynjolf soon came out, observing the patterns of the other guard, curious as to what the other was doing. He'd gone up to investigate, giving Bryn the opportunity to sneak by unseen.

We all hunched up to the door and watched him unlock it. No sooner than later, we had got in.

The Pelagius Wing was rundown with furniture flipped and cobwebs all over the place, and the stench of it was rather stale and dust, with bits crockery just left lying around. The Nerevarine had cast a detect life spell, and told us that none else was in here. We had a look around the place, moving this around to see what we were actually trying to find.

"So what are we looking for, actually?" I wondered.

The Realm-Walker dropped in out of nowhere.

"The portal is in this Wing somewhere. It's not going to be obvious, but once you find it, we'll all know."

Brynjolf rose an eyebrow as he wandered over to a book shelf.

"What are you on about lass?" He asked.

The Realm-Walker grinned.

"You'll see."

She faded away, leaving us puzzled as to what she had said. We continued our search, for what ever stood out to us or what ever was deemed suspicious enough to tell us any clues.

I sighed and started looking upstairs. This was nonsense. We were chasing Daedra for goodness sake. What any sane person goes looking for Daedra?

All I saw was a bar that could use some TLC and stools and even more cobwebs. Marvelous. There were some bottles of what ever lying around that I would never ever consider touching. Even if it was wine. I sighed. What have I gotten myself into?

I saw the hallway...oh good, must be another part of the wing that we could search, though I doubt that we'd have any luck. I walked down and...felt a strange sensation, an odd breeze if you will, before darkness took my sight once more.

* * *

I'd say the weirdest things tend to happen to me a lot. I don't know why I'd even bother being surprised about it anymore. I suppose that it's my own fault for getting into it, given the circumstances that force us to take measures. In all honesty, I'd rather been in Coldharbour, because at least there I'd know what to expect.

Next moment I was outside. Dreary, foggy, though the temperature was moderate. I felt like I was in the mountain filled terrain of the reach or near the marshes in Morthal by the state of the flora, but... I found myself wearing fancy clothes. I don't recall changing myself. What in the name of...

I could see a long table covered with fine food and drink and surrounded by chairs, although one chair was practically a throne, with a middle aged man wearing red and purple clothes, chuckling along with another man that it was a conversation that made no sense what so ever.

He certainly sounded mad enough, his voice in a constant bounce of joy and anger. And was very loud and not shy about it either. They had a brief argument about something I knew nothing about and the man he was talking with just disappeared. What was going on here?

I approached the man in the chair and asked him where I was.

"How rude! Can't be bothered to host an old friend for a decade or two." He shouted, berating the man who was here before.

I rose an eyebrow.

"Uh...who was he?" I asked. I tried to polite, but I just felt awkward.

_"_Emperor Pelagius III. Now surely even you know about Pelagius' decree? On his deathbed - oh, and this was inspired - he forbade... death! That's right! Death! Outlawed!" The madman replied.

I looked around more. I was still trying to figure out where I was.

"Aww poor lost little lamb...if you're wondering where in this senseless world that we're in, that I have to remind you that you're inside the mind of Pelagius, mortal...hmm must be...your first time?"

What?

I crossed my arms and looked at him with skepticism. Pelagius had been dead for years. Unless.

"No matter. You see, it's only senseless when there is sense. Because when there is, the world is on it's own two feet. Those little feet that keep running and running until it gets tired. Can't have that though. World needs to run, or else it'll get fat, old and die. No fun there."

I rubbed my head. His words...although, not puzzling his aura was troubling me. His eyes were filled with chaotic energies that matched the dubious grin on his face.

"Are you..."

He nodded and bowed.

"Yes I am Sheogorath. Also known as Ann Marie, but do you really want me to use your entrails as skipping rope? But yes. I am the Daedric Prince of Madness. Pleased to meet you Petra."

My eyes widened.

"Wait, you know me?"

He chuckled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders and rubbed my skull with his fist.

"Hah, know you? I've been watching you. I like you. Your episodes in Tamriel are my favorite shows to watch. I specifically like the bit where you kill dragons. That little fire in you turns you insane. And best of all it saves your life! A little madness goes a long way."

Oh Gods...really?

"Then...do you know why I am here?" I asked him, crossing my arms.

He stood back and rubbed his chin.

"Oh lemme guess. You're here because...you're here to deliver a truckload of bones for my special sweetroll recipe? No...no...you're here to juggle swords, then swallow them whole. I heard it's a sharp act hahaha...hm...no, how about-"

"Enough of the jokes Daedra...you know exactly why she is here." Said the Realm-Walker as she summoned herself into the realm.

Sheogorath wasn't exactly pleased with that.

"Hey I like playing the guessing game. It lightens the mood. Or it moods the light. Here it's dark but light enough."

The Realm-Walker rolled her eyes and looked at me, who just had no idea what was going on.

"He means twilight." She mentioned.

Ah...I see.

"It's nice to see more people in the act, the both of you...Dragon Queens...tell me, can I have your next clutch of eggs? I'd liked to have some dragons flying around the isles." He mentioned.

Dragon...Queens.

"I told you my son is off limits." The Realm-Walker scolded.

Wait what?

"Awww you're no fun. Can I keep this one then? I like this Queen better...you're just too mean and not wanting me to have my pets." Sheogorath pleaded.

Oh Gods...

"No. She's here to speak to you about something. Regarding the entrance to the Laaglein?"

Sheogorath smiled.

"Oh the Laaglein. The Line with the lag. It's very slow. Don't know why you'd have any interest in it. Though I have been there from time to time. It's an inspiration for my duties you know."

I rubbed my neck.

"I don't doubt that. Anyway, like she said, we need physical access. Are you able to tell us with the entrance to your world's Dreaming Cave is, it's very imperative that we access it."

Sheogorath pondered for about five minutes, leaving me feeling extremely awkward.

"The Dreaming Cave? Ahh yes yes. Of course, of course. _Buuuuut_ I need you do to do something for me? Deal?"

I sighed.

"Yes what is it?"

This was getting annoying fast but I put up with it. Sheogorath was a weird fellow, making up tripe that benefited his moniker. Though I am getting peculiar vibes from the Realm-Walker these days...she definitely knows more than what she's letting on.

* * *

Sheogorath made me 'treat' Pelagius, as apparently I was in his mind somehow. I couldn't use anything but some Daedric artefact known as the Wabbajack. I was forced to use it, to down different arcs and utilize it somehow. It took me a while to get the hang of it, as each one approached parts of the deceased emperor's psyche. The Realm-Walker never bothered to help me, leaving me to my own devices...

Perhaps half an hour later I was done, yet left utterly confused on what just happened. And I'd rather not do it again. He let me keep the Wabbajack at least.

"Now will you help me?" I asked him.

He groaned.

"Rude! I have been nothing but hospitable to you Insane Dragon Brain! But, as Pelagius himself, is now sane, I think I can go off holiday...sane vacations get boring you know...but! If you insist, you and I can go back to New Sheoth..."

I looked the Realm-Walker.

"Don't worry about the others I'll handle it. Just go with him and...talk..."

* * *

I was summoned away after that moment, still swamped in those...clothes. I looked around, I was in some sort of...castle? Maybe? A carpet of red and black and different patterns lead up to a throne, that sat against a dead tree with fungi growing on it. Sheogorath sat in his throne, a man who had stood there next to him, was seemingly...discplined? Dunno...strange as well.

"Welcome to my humble abode! Where...we play hopscotch and pour lava down each others pants. Sight to see, you must try it." Sheogorath mentioned.

I put my hands behind my back as I pulled faces, trying not to be rude.

"Uhh...I'll pass."

He nodded.

"Haskill, get our guest some Snail Oil Tea. Trust me it is not as bad as it sounds. Snails here have the most unique flavours. The slime itself is especially. Divine...or daedric? Bah...it's beyond anything any mortal has ever tasted."

"Right away sir." The bald...man replied turning around and walking off.

Sheogorath looked at me with those...inquisitive eyes of his and smirked.

"Sit mortal sit, I can't stand it when guests are over and their legs are staring me...knees have eyes you know. One arrow to them and you're blind...and inoperable. Snapped knees are another matter. Though I do enjoy the sound they make. I should make a song!" He proclaimed, then clicked his fingers.

Suddenly I found myself forced to sit down on a chair that came out of nowhere. I was stunned at first, but...I got over it.

He suddenly ate an apple, that like the chair, was summoned out of nowhere and bit into it.

"So, you want to talk about the Dreaming Cave? I go there all the time. In fact, I visited Molag last week. Talked about you in particular. Said you were strong, but weak. A paradox...love those."

I nodded.

"I am not proud of what I had done in Coldharbour, if that's what you're speaking of." I told him.

He threw the apple core behind him and adjusted himself.

"No, but nothing is more satisfying than turning them into mashed potatoes with an overdose of sauce. Quite the taste I assure you. Sauce makes everything good. Even sauce!"

I had to get what will I had left for patience with this Prince.

"I can imagine. I wanted to talk to you...I didn't feel comfortable speaking with Molag."

I admitted.

He laughed.

"Yeah he is a funny fellow. I admire his work though he prefers me to stop taking in his worshipers all the time which I am not! No! I can lead people down the golden road but ultimately, it is their choice to turn to madness. Which I would humbly recommend rather that succumb to vampirism. How boring. The sun isn't the worst thing to exist. We all need that burn once in a while."

Haskill came back with a cup of the tea in in a saucer, approaching me with.

"Here you go madam. I let the snail stick itself on the side. It insisted on staying." He told me.

Riiiiight. I took the cup and looked into the green liquid before me and took a sip. I squinted as the taste was rather bitter. Sheogorath cackled.

"It's always the first taste that's the kicker." He mentioned.

It sent a shiver down my spine that's for sure.

"The Snail and his camaraderie release an oil that needs to be tasted twice in order for the greater flavours to be released. Go on...take another sip."

Really...okay..

I looked into. I really didn't want to. The first time was horrible. What made him think this was any better? Second thought, don't answer that.

I took in a deep breath and took a taste, closing my eyes...

Opening them, my vision was clouded in some sort of rainbow hue, then the walls themselves started to melt. Gods...what the...

I couldn't even recall the taste itself that I was memorized on what was going on around me...as the chamber itself actually dissolved into nothing, then ended up having weird flashes and hearing strange noises...laughing that was distorted, a pink sky with blue grass. Images that flashed though my mind. I could see the Regsokot writing a message on a wall in the dragon language that I couldn't understand or fathom. That too dissolved into a message of fire and blood. I could see two imperial men, fighting in some...place in Cyrodiil. One was a man with short brown hair wielding a sword...and...then nothing...

"Sir she's convulsing. You think we should give her a while longer?" Haskill asked.

I heard Sheogorath laugh.

"No...she's waking up. Haha...that gets me every time." He joked.

I got off the floor, not realizing I was foaming at the mouth as I struggled to stand up again.

Sheogorath just made me sit again. I was exhausted.

"Oh good you lived. You had me worried for a second there. Snail Oil is potent as you can see." He informed me.

I wasn't amused.

"Oh come on Petra, have a laugh. Don't worry, it's 're not poisoned. Just...a tad more insane."

I sighed.

"So did I pass what ever test you have for me? Do I get to go the Cave now?" I asked him. I was running out of patience.

He grumbled.

"In time, in time my little powderslime. The Dreaming Cave isn't open for everybody you know, or else we'll go willy-nily for tea. Except not many Daedra are fond cheese either so...you're going to have to wait."

I rolled my eyes, rest my chin on my hands as I held it up via putting my elbows on my knees.

"For how long?" I wondered.

He rubbed his chin.

"Oh...uhh...you have to spend a night here! In the room of peddling pits and spikes! Nice room,warm and nicely lit. Can't stand the dark where I'm trying to see my own feet split. Gets frustrating and mind-grinding."

I rose an eyebrow.

"Sounds...great. Uh..."

He laughed.

"Got ya! Hah mortals are so gullible...they're willing to go up a waterfall if you tell them they become a dragon when they get to the top! Hah...that's just fairy tales. You just turn into a flying carrot. Carnivorous, those carrots..."

I nodded. I suppose if they're the rules. Unless he's pulling my leg. Again.

"Haskill, show her the quarters. Now Petra, if you wake up in the middle of the night screaming, it's just Mr. Snickers. He's quite the cute kitty who likes sleeping on peoples beds. He's around somewhere, probably grovelling for food. He has a taste for toes you know. Not just anyones toes...he eats elf toes. Something about them just taste sweeter than mans you know?"

I looked at me with defeated eyes. Just take it easy Petra, you'll be fine. Just do as he says.

"Yes, you should find it comfortable enough. And come back to me with when you've grown a spine! There's plenty of pots and dirt in the room for you to grow one in. Niiiiiight!"

Haskill had lead me to one of the bedrooms in the palace. He discussed that I was currently in the realm of the Shivering Isles and that I should be thankful for being here, although he's also thanked me for my patience. Yeah...I should be..

The room that he showed me was simple enough. A room of greystones and a double bed made of burgundy silk and gold rims. Seems royal enough.

"He's fond of you." Haskill told me as I was preparing for sleep.

"Why's that?" I asked.

"Snail Oil Tea and a room for the night? While the Madgod himself is hospitable to strangers, he seems to think you're worthy of his time. He won't kill you. While he may not show it, he's just not focused enough to care when in spite of that, he knows more than what he might appear to."

At least he was sane enough to speak to to get answers.

"So, is this a test or?" I asked him.

Haskill looked away.

"Just rest easy. I wouldn't think too much of it for now. He'll take care of you."

I nodded.

"Thank you Haskill. Not exactly reassuring but thank you." I said, before heading off to sleep.


	85. Wine

**AN: Short Bryn chapter and a bit about how he thinks of the Nerevarine. And I wanted to try to get to bed at a decent hour and get this done.**

**Chapter 85**

**Wine**

I half expected that to happen. Lass wanders off and then disappears without a trace. We looked all over and called her name. But, no sign of her.

Aye, I'm worried, but it's happening so often I wonder if it's those damn time displacements again, or something a bit more concerning. The Realm-Walker would look after her, I'm sure. I sat down, taking a break, much to the consternation of Ayisha who rose an eyebrow at me and scolded me for stop trying to look for her. I want to panic but it's not going to get me anywhere. For all we know, this may have been part of the Realm-Walkers plan. Until we see her again, we can't confirm or deny anything.

Up until this point, I was still a mixed bag. My heart was still heavy and my mind boggled by recent events. For now, we'll have to wait. I observed the Nerevarine as he wandered around the place. It was fascinating how he was a hero of his time and yet, he staggers around still enjoying the life eternal that he'd been gifted with. I'm trying to figure out what else had to be lost in order to gain immortality because he didn't seem to have much of a negative outcome on his own abilities. He may have chosen not to. I'm not a priest myself.

The Nerevarine searched a wine cabinet, grabbing some kind of really old bottle. Wine...from around fourth era, year 150. By Shor...has that been hiding there for that long or..

The Dunmer sniffed it. Didn't seem repulsive by it. He popped the cork and eyed the liquid down the bottleneck. Was he seriously considering drinking the damn thing?

"Smells nice. No bottle of Sujamma, but it's like me, we get finer with age." He joked sarcastically.

Ayisha wasn't amused. I had a feeling those two had a type of tension between each other, probably not amused by antics that none of us had seen yet. The Nerevarine had been calm and quiet since he got here. But...

"You do not where it has been. It's covered with dust and gods know what." The cat scolded.

He chuckled

"It's been here hasn't it? It's remarkably well preserved. I'm far older than it, but you know, it doesn't hurt to take a taste."

I facepalmed.

"Alright if you want to choke on ancient wine then go ahead. I'm not cleaning up your spew."

He reminded me of me...somehow. Adventurous. Devious...the shoulder length hair and beard. All these years to himself. Elves do live considerably longer than men, but he's still relatively youthful. Just dye his hair red and he'd look like me as an elf. I think. He took a whisk, as Ayisha and I shirked.

I watched as his throat bobbled as he guzzled down the liquor. Seriously lad. Wine is supposed to ferment I get that, but...

He slammed the bottle down and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. We were waiting for a reaction.

He looked at us strangely as he finished.

"What?" He asked us.

"Taste alright?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Yeah it's fine. Needs cheese." He commented. The look on his face was forced as he attempted to look judgmental.

"Wonder if this place has any..."

I am certain he was screwing with us. He then started laughing.

"I'm fine! Honestly. I've had worse. But this isn't a bad tasting drink. You two should try some."

Ayisha grumbled.

"Ayisha does not drink. There are those who worship Sangiin of blood and life, I do not wish to adhere myself to his men-mer counterparts."

The Neverarine chuckled.

"Guys, we're simply gonna be stuck here until Petra comes back."

Gods help me.

I felt a hand on my back that nearly made me jump. I turned to see it was the Realm-Walker, who had a huge grin on her face.

"Nerevarine don't worry we'll take you to a place where there's plenty of cheese for your wining."

Are we all drunk or something or-

The Dunmer chuckled.

"Oh good. You know, the houses of Morrowind used to hold parties. Best drinks you'd ever had. Even though Red Mountain erupted, I wouldn't mind going back there. Or even Solstheim for that matter, for old times sake."

I turned her to confront a more serious topic.

"How's Petra?" I asked her.

She nodded.

"She's fine. She's in the Shivering Isles." She announced.

Ayisha seemed genuinely surprised.

"She's visited the realm of the Skooma Cat himself? No wonder why Ayisha felt the strong sense of insanity within these walls. " She stated.

"Truely? So she's actually in Oblivion?" I questioned, just in a state of disbelief.

"Yes yes. I've just come to pick you all up actually, to take you to the madmans palace. Nerevarine, I think you may have met him once before."

The Dunmer shrugged.

"I've done deeds for the prince in exchange for the Spear of Bitter Mercy. Ended up selling it. Needed the gold it was worth." He noted.

Ayisha glared at him.

"You sold an artifact of his? He had given it you! Perhaps as a champion."

Ayisha seemed really offended by the Nerevarine's lax approach to the Daedra. Her people may have worshiped him fondly for all I know.

"Do you think he'll welcome us there?" I asked the Realm-Walker.

She nodded.

"He's a madgod but, he likes Petra so you don't have to be too concerned. Although he mentioned he played the Snail Oil Tea joke on her. If he offers. Seriously decline."

Do I want to know?

"Aye, I'll keep that in mind. So she's safe?"

The Realm-Walker smiled.

"She is. Resting at the moment. Sheogorath is a fickle prince, I'll need you all on guard. Ayisha and Nerevarine, just behave yourselves."

The Nerevarine crossed his arms. He was like a teenager, being scolded by his mother. Amusing image though.

"Hey, I always behave myself. I was only killing time. Oh...poor choice words. Apologies."

I rubbed my face. I just wanted this over and done with.

"You all ready to go?" The Realm-Walker asked us.

We all bowed our heads in sync.

Thankfully the trip there was painless enough...


	86. Mania

**AN: Petra chapter, short...but I promise next chapter should have something a bit surprising. For now, enjoy the bonding session of Petra and Sheogorath**

**Chapter 86**

**Mania.**

I actually slept well that night. My dreams were normal, average and less maddening than most. Still get the blinding light at the end of, but they've developed to a point where it looks like it's the sun that's shining down on my face, and that it was raining feathers. I must be really close by now.

I have a feeling however, while the rest was easy and that my mind was temporarily whisked away to a place that lacked pain, there had to be a definite catch to it all. The room itself looked like it was fit for a king, so say what you want about the Daedric Prince of Madness; you cannot deny that he has style.

Though the room itself, before I fell asleep, it had that, Cyrodiilic design to it. My house was filled with Nordic designs, purchased from places in Bruma to make me live like a nord, but I'd visited many places in Cyrodiil, bar the Imperial City, that had their own little aesthetic. I actually think that, the frills and the random panties of some Argonian noble would be something you'd see in the Emperors Palace. I was in the realm of a daedric lord, but it just seemed tasteful and rich. Other paintings included some other imperials, some by themselves in black robes, others just as they are in old armour. I wonder...

The blankets, a nice red, which just...ironically divine. So warm and comfortable. I am definitely not worthy of this treatment. I had to figure out why Sheogorath was so nice to me. Haskill explained that he was fond of me for some reason, perhaps like the madgod had said as well, about my breakdowns amused him greatly, buuuuut I suspect there's more to the story than that

I'd woken up, feeling something at the end of the bed. I could see...some random Khajiit on my bed. Orange in colour so definitely not Ayisha. He slept there, like an actual cat. This had to be a fully grown Khajiit as well. I face palmed and kicked the mad cat. He woke up with surprise, his ears flinging upwards. He wore paw print pyjamas and screeched at me and fell off the bed. He then opened the door and ran out of the room.

That...was completely random.

I got out of the bed, finding myself wearing odd...clothes. I had no idea what was going on. I had no idea where all my actual stuff went before disappearing. I was wearing a white long dress with spaghetti straps, wearing an amulet that I'd never seen before. It was...just a pair of white wings on a gold chain and gold arm bands. My hair was done up. I really don't recall any of this. What was going on?

I had a wander around the palace and it's lengthy hallways. It was filled with two sets of guards, the palace apparently split up into two sides. I hardly know much about the Madgod himself, save from what I've seen from him already. There were more paintings of these imperials as well. A family. I wonder what connection they had to this place? He was a mystery, and all of this just seemed. Not mad, just...strange and uncorrelated with much else that I had seen far. Made me think Sheogorath was hiding something.

I wandered into a room, that had a myriad of objects. Armour, weapons and other miscellaneous things lay on pedestals, like some kind of museum. Each had a power to them, an aura like none other. I approached the large, two handed sword. It's energies, nearly overwhelming.

"Like that sword, do you?"

I jumped as Sheogorath spoke over my shoulder. Gods, he nearly scared the soul right of me. I stood back with my hands behind my back.

"It is a nice sword." I commented, a bit unnerved.

He grinned.

"Yes, the two-handed weapon, Sword of Jyggalag. Boring, boring boring fellow, nice...but boring! Parting gift during our last outing. Although, we do need to have tea together again, I haven't seen him in two hundred years! Wow...seems...too long since we've seen one another. So I hid a statue of him in one of the rooms and put a flower crown on his head. Guy like that is begging for colour!...and a bit of tea down his sorry throat."

I smirked.

"Do you often invite other Daedra here like yourself?" I asked him.

He rubbed his chin.

"Only if I find them interesting enough. Hircine and I throw our...uh, our beasts into an arena every so often. Heh...when is he going to learn that strength isn't everything and that subjecting taunts means nothing to me. Uh...Oh that's right. I've played chess with Nocturnal. Except we play them with mortals on a huge chess board. Daedric Chess is...not somethin' for a mortal mind. No...no..."

That, I am not surprised about.

"Who normally wins?" I wondered.

He waved his hand about.

"It's never really about who wins. The mortals lost are claimed by the corresponding prince who take's em down. But, if we have to say...maybe me. By a margin. I'd rather not get a number."

I nodded and crossed my arms.

"Did you often play with that Jyggalag guy?" I was curious. Although he sounded boring, Sheogorath was actually sounding that he'd preferred to hang with that guy. The Prince frowned.

"Sadly no. We never got the chance. It'd be nice though. I feel it would be a tight knit battle of blood and lot's of ectoplasm. Get's the game going real nice. Especially with pie involved, can't have Daedric Chess without pie."

His insanity was...bearable at least. But. I still felt a connection between him and I, both of us known for madness but...his spirit...at least I felt like I wanted to know more. Especially if I had to go through to the Dreaming Cave.

"So what's with this get up anyway? Does it have to do anything with the Cave or..." I wondered, observing the intrinsic patterns. Still looked like something made in Cyrodiil.

He put his hands to his waist.

"Oh the dress. Yes! Can't miss the dress. Made from the silk of the Catercows. Which are found on on another island separate from here. Finest silk! I even use it for napkins, blankets, trampolines..."

I think he just liked to talk to someone who wasn't...well, perhaps someone new. Dunno. Other than sharing madness, why would he want to bother to speak with me? Why did I get the vibe that he enjoyed my company more than I was used to. He walked me around the Palace, telling me tales of his past in such bizarre ways. Like the time he played a prank on Malacath by sending him exploding pigs in order to 'lighten him up'. I found it amusing as I couldn't help but chuckle. Perhaps I am made, but...despite his usual shindigs and shenanigans and...general loudness as he spoke, he still was quite the gentlemen in himself.

He never once mentioned the Dreaming Cave, avoiding it altogether. I had work to do to fix time but...well...I could hardly get a word in.

* * *

It was until Haskill decided to butt in.

"My lord, that Realm-Walker has come back with some more guests...did you want me to prepare more tea?" He asked.

Sheogorath shook his head.

"Nah, I've enough of that prank for now. Must have been those lowlifes she mentioned. Friends of yours I believe. Very well, let's speak with them if we must. I wonder if they've got anything worth noting..."

We entered back into the main chamber, as I saw Brynjolf and ran up to him. I'm pretty sure his jaw dropped as he looked me up and down with a huge grin on his face and pleasant expressions from the Nerevarine and Ayisha. Sheogorath took more notice of the Dunmer if anything.

"Hey I remember you! The Dark Elf from Morrowind! Uh...a Champion, what you will. How are things? Still putting gods heads on a pike? You should have gotten a house and then put them up as trophies! Godkiller sounds like a great name for you. Those people stealing away divinity like that. It's just...rude!" Sheogorath mentioned with disgust.

The Nerevarine shrugged.

"Good to see you in the flesh at least instead of a disembodied voice." He commented.

Brynjolf just made sure I was okay. Too paranoid in my mind, so I had to reassure him that I was fine. Meanwhile, the Realm-Walker came in with the Mute and the Elf and confronted the prince out of nowhere.

"Oh you've bought your compatriots to? I think we should have a party! So many guests! Goot to make sure we have plenty of the two dozen varieties of cheese we have in storage." He said with glee.

The Realm-Walker shook her head.

"I doubt we have time for that." She said calmly.

Sheogorath sat down in his chair. I just waited for what ever was about to come next.

"Okay okay...I just wanted to have more fun as all. Trust me, the drinks here are fair better than what you'll find in Tamriel. Oh...the mushroom delight is one of the best. You literally grow mushrooms from your ears but the taste is just...mmmm...mushroomy...no, I think they're more earshrooms. Earshrooms are tasty!"

That I really didn't want to know about.

"So, you're here for the Dreaming Cave here are you? Hmm...well, the entrance itself...is on island not too far from here. I've been doing real slow renovations with the place...change is good for you. And pop, an island comes out. Use that. But you're most likely going to find some morons there who just won't leave."

Realm-Walker rose an eyebrow.

"Trouble?" She questioned.

Sheogorath groaned.

"Ugh...you ever see something you hate and you want to poke it at first, then stick spears into it and roast it over an open fire? Then turn it to ash and pour down the throat of your next worst enemy? That's what you'll find there."

Ayisha practically ran towards the Daedra and fell on her knees and clasped her hands together.

"Sheggorath! It is really you!" She called out with a big grin on her face and a glint of excitement in her eyes. Sheogorath...oh yeah. The Skooma Cat. I almost forgot. The Prince smiled at her.

"Ahhh yes another kitty in the midst of prayer. Ayisha, Mane of the Khajiit. You're a bit older than I thought you'd be. I really should get more scratch posts. You are the ''Mane'' Khajiit after all, hahah..."

I tilted my head. She looked at him differently than I did and wondered why that was. Not just the way she worshiped him, as how he patted her on the head, and for some reason, she was purring.

"Khajiit tend to him in another form. In this case, to her, my lord would have the appearance of a Khajiit from their perspective and roughly looks the same. Your version of him in this standard. This is a logic that is applied to the majority of Daedra." Haskill explained. No wonder why they were rubbing faces. It just seemed odd.

"Haha got my scent on you Mane! So all your little kitty friends will get jealous. Though I can't seem to place where I put all the Skooma..."

My eyes widened. We really needed to get back on topic. It just...may take a while.

"Sheogorath, the time has come. Are you going to allow us to go to this Dreaming Cave or not?" The Realm-Walker asked, becoming impatient.

He stood up straight as Ayisha stood by him in awe. Silly girl. She hasn't aged.

"How rude! If you must know I'm still preparing the boat! Be patient. These take... a while to produce...any faster then you'd have something cheap and unreliable as a pink jollywog. Little stupid landfish things that grow by shores. Only been around for the last hundred years. Feisty and make for a good stew." Sheogorath commented, his mouth almost watering at the mention of it.

"What about Chell, my servant? She has the ability to transport others...or is there something you're not telling us?" The Hair-of-Clouds woman discussed. It would have been a practical choice...unless Sheogorath had a valid reason not to.

The madgod rolled his eyes.

"Pffff you mortals and your insistence on homegrown spells. Here, laws are done differently. So you either take the boat, or you can swim there and risk being bitten by the sharks. They're out for blood...and then they spit up your corpse and throw it into a pile. That pile was pretty big last time I saw it."

I sighed.

"How much longer though? This is urgent!" I told him.

He chuckled.

"Relax relax...we'll let you know when it's ready. Just...sit tight...or sit loose, what ever floats your tentacles. Wait, that was Mora..."

So he'd done a few 'renovations' with this place. Huh...I wandered around for a bit and found a balcony that looks over Mania, the brighter, fun part of this realm. It definitely had that particular essence to it. The whole damn isle looked like something out of a story book that could scarcely describe the obscurity of the place. I wouldn't live here though. But the atmosphere, it definitely had a look in common with Cyrodiil architecture I'm sure. Sheogoraths personal taste changes maybe? It fitted his description well enough though. He just might be fond of it. The Realm-Walker and the others wandered off and observed the Palace and ended up going to town to have a look around. I was willing to wait until Sheogorath could confirm the boat was finished. When ever that would be.

I rested my arms on the fence and waited until this so called boat thing was finished. Brynjolf stood next to me soon after, as we pondered on what was going on.

"We really have gotten ourselves into this mess, haven't we Bryn?" I wondered.

"I mean, look at us, talking with madness."

Bryn lifted his chin.

"Aye lass, he'd like to think us that. He has treated you well hasn't he?" He asked me, being the overprotective boyfriend.

I nodded.

"I'm okay. He's been charming so far. His insanity isn't that bad. You get used to it."

He looked at me strangely again.

"So what's with the get up? Was he planning to marry you or something?"

I chuckled.

"What? No no...I woke up like this. With a fully grown Khajiit sleeping at the end of my bed." I told him. I was expecting him to just...make that face of his.

"I'm not going to bother with finding out why. Anyway, I wonder what this boat thing is that he's planning for us to use. If the Dreaming Cave is on this island, then we have the ticket to finally getting this resolved. Have you thought or prepared yourself for more of the unknown lass?" He asked me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I clasped my hand on his, needing a bit of his comfort.

"I've thought about and what it could be. We've been to the Laaglein sleeping but awake? I'm cautious." I told him.

He agreed.

"Be cautious with everything. We're going deep into a territory that's unstable. At least that's how the story goes."

We talked about a few things while we stood there. About Ayisha's worship of the prince and the Nerevarine's familiarity about stuff from his time and now. I was glad he was here, I was worried I was going to be stuck in the Isles until the Realm-Walker said otherwise. Now I don't mind the prince too much...only irritating when delays are involved for no good reason. But it was wise not to argue. I'd like to keep my life intact...

Thank you.


	87. Dementia

**AN: Again, thanks to everyone reading this story so far. I'm predicting it'll be finishing, believe it or not, within the next week or two. So we're getting closer to the end now. Enjoy another chapter for now in the Shivering Isles...**

**Chapter 87**  
**Dementia**

It was...odd for a realm of Oblivion, but you have to expect the odd predicaments that find ourselves in our not often by choice but by some random necessity. If we were regular mortals and not those gobbled up by an unjust system written by those on a higher power than us, we could be in a worse of scenario then we were in now.

The Daedric Prince of Madness...I had been told of his...antics. His wiles, breadth and width. A creature who's consistencies are that he defies logic because he can and he likes it. No wonder he took a liking to Petra straight away. I'm very cautious on that standing, and I hoped she was too.

The Nerevarine and I discussed the notions of being in this very realm and it's very history. The guards that wandered around the place, which was divided into separate states, even in this very building, of Mania and Dementia. The aesthetic of the place supports that down to the tiniest detail. What ever fits the Prince's desire I suppose.

Now were waiting for this boat to get built...who knows who long that was going to take, but it was obvious that we could afford to investigate the realm of madgod and possibly his servants. The Palace was huge and subject to the odd sight here and there. It grabs your eye occasionally, like a sculpture with dozens of eyes on a dead tree, or the geometrical patterns that meant nothing. I'm not an artist and I don't care for meaning of artwork. It might be worth a bit though. We've stolen art in the past, being told by Delvin that certain works are long sought after and could easily reach into the thousands of septims worth then we obviously find value in it, and send it off the client once we'd gotten it.

Aye, I do want that simple life again. I aim for, and I don't know if we can but I'll try, is to just live out my days with Petra. The Guild's gone and I do miss the others dearly. It's fascinating how we all believe we'd come from a place built on not caring for others and only for ourselves. We follow the rules and make each other rich, that's the only reason to care about anyone.

Thieving is still fun and open to me. It's always seen as a challenge brought on by rebellion, brought on by all the overwhelming lessons of Talos, that lead me down to the path that I had refused to divulge myself on. Now that I had seen the real reason for them, I'm more thankful that I left on instinct, then to go down a darkened path of pure deception and the situation would have ended up far worse otherwise.

We're not dead yet, so that's a point proven already. I'm hoping to live longer. I find it ironic that we've ended up dealing with Gods and Daedra anyway and that's the inevitable track of life that I of course, could never end up avoiding. I'm hanging with chosen ones and I am simply a descendant of one. Don't know if that actually counts, since I am a one born from the blood of the darkness that once threatened to pervert the world in it's blight.

I am myself am a mixed concoction of light and shadow, but fate has yet to lead me down either of them. Whether this was intended I cannot say. Petra herself finds herself down that road. A Nightingale yet, her blood is of the same light and fire that Talos once was. A divined blessing, and a curse that we both bare. I simply wish for her to know she is not alone in the path she treads and that I am right by her side.

And when I spoke to her, she seemed...unsure still, but...she's always been like that. She looked stunning in the get up she had and I had thought it was just Sheogorath being...what ever he was in general, and I just wanted to brush it off. But...like I have always been, I've had strange feelings about it since we got here.

She had gone with Ayisha to see the sights and sounds of what this place had to offer, since the Madgod hadn't said anymore about the ship itself. We were running of time, literally and I really wanted it to be done. I wanted to see the ship myself but, guards would block me when I'd ask and tell me to 'wait'.

I had sat down on a marble bench in the gardens nearby, with a huge tree and mushrooms growing everywhere. I took out the Amulet of Mara and thumbed the pendant. I still wanted to propose...I should have done it ages ago. Maybe back in Nightingale Hall...then everyone would have been there. Most of them, I'd think.

I don't want her to fade away from me. But her life isn't getting any easier. It's like, everyone just wants to use her and make her life much more difficult.

"Oh, I had a feeling about you two." Said the Nerevarine as he sat with me.

"So that's the Amulet of Mara..."

I nodded.

"You put this around your neck, to make yourself known that you're available for marriage. You make an agreement, obviously proposing to the one you care about. They accept, you go the Temple to get married. Simple as that."

The Nerevarine nodded.

"That's if they accept of course. You gonna do it?" He asked me.

I'd been a fool for delaying it for so long. But she's been through so much...I don't want to burden her.

"When this is all over. I'll try. But, my concern is what classifies in the terms of saying it's over. Why do I get this cold feeling that what we're looking for isn't necessarily going to be the best result we're looking for?"

He fumbled with his hands.

"Sometimes that just happens. You go in with the best of your ability and if it turns out to be largely want you want in the end, and if it ends up doing what you originally planned then it's a success. Sacrifices that you've made won't be forgotten, however it ultimately depends on what you've lost in order to gain a better answer or conclusion." He stated.

Maybe it was me being paranoid over the lost bouts of conclusion and despair.

"I'd lost a lot already lad. The Guild's burnt to the ground and I'm partially to blame. If only Prolg didn't force our hands and only if we killed him the amount of times we've had the chance. But we always hesitate or our hearts filled with such rage that we're rendered immobile."

He sat back.

"It's not your fault Brynjolf. You are not responsible for the actions and choices of other people who decide to make these conscious decisions. There are occasions where I could have chosen differently but...there will always be things unforeseeable that we just can't mend. It's never your fault when that happens. Because you never knew it would."

I rubbed my head. My heart, my head and my gut were filled with bitter regret. I want to tell myself that I had made the best decision back then. But...

"You took on responsibility for her back then didn't you?" He questioned.

I lifted my head.

"Aye. Because she was lost and confused. It was in my power to help her out because at first that she would have been perfect for what we needed. The Guild was in dire places and we had to do what ever we could to scrap coin together."

Going back to that day in the marketplace, the sad, lost little girl with the light blue eyes who eventually took not only my heart but my spirit. I feel like I had caused all the problems in her life so far. It's only now that given we couldn't do much at this stage and wait, that all the thoughts started to seep back in my head and cause me pain and much self-hatred.

"I'm not attentively up to date. Ayisha only told me so much about you two. Saying you were the ones who had saved her life from the Cult of Slaughter. I'd heard of them briefly in Morrowind some years ago. Specifically Solstheim in order to protect their work there. What ever work as there at some stage. Very powerful and very secretive."

I frowned.

"So I gather Ayisha would have told you...more about me..."

He combed his hair back with his fingers.

"To an extent. A dark soul that lies within you. And the blood you wield lies the traces of Talos himself. I'd met Barenziah myself. Pleasant if not weird. Should have known she would have kept the child amongst the rumours I heard of her rendezvous with Tiber during those early years. So that makes you more legitimate to be Emperor than Titus himself. Have you ever considered taking that to the Council?"

I rose an eyebrow and shook my head. I really didn't want to. I don't want to begin to place the meaning of that to even consider taking the role. Too much...just...too much. But Ayisha herself was quick to inform of him of our situation far greater than most would. I guess she trusted him with the information. He is what he is after all, and would hold more knowledge than anyone else would realize. If Ayisha trusted him, then I could.

"I hold no desire to lead. I can't stand politics. I will help out with what you need when you need it, but to negotiate with milk-drinkers for me is to punch them until they start bleeding coin. That's the best way to handle it. But then you wouldn't exactly be favored with the public if you went in that direction and it would best lead you to be assassinated. Besides, I am a descendant of a mistake. When was the last time a mistake did anything good..."

"Martin Septim was the illegitimate child of Uriel and another woman. Safe to say that he himself was a fortunate mistake."

We looked up at the clad-in-black Haskill who stood before us with his hands behind his back.

"Don't mind me eavesdropping on your conversation here. Brynjolf, you role itself has been observed by Sheogorath as well as Petra's. Yours is part equally of interest with reasons why. Follow me."

Didn't know what the bald lad was playing at, as the Nerevarine and I were travelled across the palace into one of the many locked rooms that were forbidden to any of us...obviously.

The room he'd taken us in was akin to old books, like a library and the scent of the lavender flowers in pots on the round tables, that sat above the the red carpet with gold patterns. This room seemed ancient yet warm and cosy.

"Our lord has watched time itself pass by while keeping an eye on those he deems necessary for the future. He won't admit it of course. He has his role to play, while he keeps everything else locked away due to the fact that he was once in your path over two hundred years ago." Haskill explained, leading us to a red book, that looked akin to the ancient bloodlines of the Dragon Priests.

"So Sheogorath himself was an adventurer?" The Nerevarine queried.

Haskill bowed his head.

"Not many remember the Greymarch nowadays. It has been a while since the old Sheogorath departed, becoming the Daedric Prince of Order and leaving the realm in the hands of his once-mortal champion."

The Nerevarine and I looked at each other.

"Wait, they can do that?" The Elf spoke with surprise.

Haskill flicked through a few more pages, not missing a beat.

"Like I said, it's often forgotten nowadays, even by our lord. I aim to keep history known through writing. He doesn't appreciate it as much, but he does care about the situation more than you might think."

He must have been referring to what was happening with time splintering into itself, causing havoc in the known realms. I found it interesting otherwise.

"So the Prince was mortal...huh...I've seen crazier." I commented.

Haskill eyed me with...I don't if it was scorn or displeasure.

"He's been busy tending to other duties that he no longer was tracking what was left of his family in Cyrodiil." Haskill revealed.

Okay...did not see that happening either.

"So let me guess this straight. So the madgod was mortal, which I am guessing this family was from his mortal life. I've read records of the Oblivion Crisis itself, but none of this." I noted.

Haskill nodded.

"Because no one else knew. We kept to ourselves. It's not like you can brag it about to everyone. We're well aware of those who have nothing but hate for us. It's understandable. Sheogorath's mortal developed into the shoes of his predecessor and his mind warped to take the once empty void to confirm the transfer. Life didn't change that much in the Isles, but during his early years he demanded renovations to make sure that, he didn't lose what he once was." Haskill continued.

Must have been something in the realm that demanded some one to take it's place. I'm just guessing here but it had to be like that...

"Is there any part of him left?" I wondered. There must have been a reason why he was treating Petra like a princess. Normally you wouldn't complain but it's gotta be out of the ordinary for him besides the factors that wouldn't mean a lot.

"I'd been tracking down the lineage from the mortal. Who'd saved Kvatch, closed the original Oblivion Gates and saved Cyrodiil from Mehrunes Dagon." He stated.

Wait, no...it couldn't be.

"The irony. The one who put away a Daedra only to become one himself." The Nerevarine pointed out. He did speak the truth there.

"The Champion of Cyrodiil...is Sheogorath?" I asked, stunned.

Haskill nodded.

"It's a long, boring story that I'd rather not go into detail with. Let's just say that it involved a lot of planning, expectations and surprises on the journey. I was there to witness it. And now come two hundred years and history looks to repeat itself."

I tilted my head.

"Again? Wait, so...this Greymarch you speak of...?" I spoke, confused.

The man shook his head.

"No. Our lord was once friends with Martin Septim, the primary saviour of Cyrodiil. Sacrificed his life to send Dagon back to Oblivion, alongside the Champion who had assisted him throughout the Campaign."

I often heard the stories of the Thalmor claiming they did it. I was glad to see that their stories were nothing but tripe. They deserved to sent a realm of Oblivion...to rot.

"So we know that story now. So, he was a Septim too. What's that got to do with Petra though? I fail to see how those are linked." The Dunmer wondered, taking the words out of my mouth.

Haskill looked deep into his book.

"Sheogoraths family lived at Cloud Ruler Temple...I kept an eye personally on them, kept many records and their families that went down the line. Up until the Great War that massacred the Blades and to those whom had lived, went back to Skyrim for a while, up until one stage some had returned once the war died down."

If this meant what I thought he'd meant.

"So, I'd wager the reason they would have lived was because of his interference...come on, I would have done the same in his position...given the chance." The Nerevarine pointed out, painting out the, now that I see, obvious.

"There had been agents sent to Cloud Ruler Temple on his behalf. He may not have shown it so easily, but the progress into who he is now was quickened on the death of his wife. He was grieved greater that his wife never found out what happened and that perhaps she died of despair, knowing she would never see him again."

A Prince's lost love. I'd wager that would turn anyone to madness quicker.

"I shouldn't feel pity for Daedra." Nerevarine complained.

I agreed.

"Aye lad...so Haskill, the family..." I continued.

He flipped more pages.

"Getting towards the end of the line of the family he had left behind. He had a descendant, a son, given birth to a baby girl. He was contacted by Azura who he likes to have tea in Moonshadow. "

The Nerevarine chuckled.

"ah good ol' Azura. Haven't spoken with her in years. She's probably still watching over our fates as we speak. So he's pals with her. I wonder how she copes."

Haskill rolled his eyes.

"He likes the roses that grow there. Quite fond of them actually. Getting back on topic, she had revealed to him that the one who had been born recently was destined for greatness. When he looked at picture seen in the threads of twilight, she had an exact match with his wife. The same thin face and the same light blue eyes. It couldn't be coincidence. Surely. Whether she was an reincarnation or something else. He went off at Azura who claimed to be playing games with him, but it was in the case that she was not doing so."

Thin face and light blue eyes. That couldn't be...

"So...Petra to him looks like his wife?" The Nerevarine queried, just as stunned as I was.

Haskill closed the book and put it away back on the pedestal at the back.

"Issue is, that the fondness is subconscious. He knows of Petra, but his own twisted mind prevents him from seeing the truth and the likelihood of the words Azura had given to him. Interestingly enough, that it had put more of a twist of events then anyone would have liked. Nocturnal had her usual games with him and let him know the girl was underneath her protection. He was glad someone was looking after her and didn't know why he was. The other princes know, but as I mentioned his own madness shields him from full realization. To him, it's just how it is and how it should be. My opinion was with the death of his wife and the death of Martin weighed heavily on his heart more than he thought it did. Now he's fully embraced his role as the Daedric Prince of Madness. Now I think he fully blames Petra's misfortunes on simply because the others Prince's know who she is."

So Petra's somewhat related to a Daedric Prince...this just gets crazier and crazier by the day.

"Do you think that though? Could he have had some kind of influence? He must know of all that happened to her this far...with the dragons. With Molag Bal and the Soul Cairn?" I asked him.

"In sense, fate and destiny has been an interesting topic amongst scholars, all those that are tied to save or destroy the world in any mere mention, even without the Elder Scrolls for support. Both Aedra and Daedra have their parts to play. I had a theory once in saying that, perhaps the Elder Scrolls functions are the antithesis to any godlike power that exists. The power to destroy or create Gods, as they do the world. I could be talking nonsense here, but with Petra, she who is the one to slay Alduin, it is within reason that it house it is written. What method she takes doesn't matter as long as it's done. Sheogorath would have had the same problem as have I. We're all stuck in this mess we're unable to get ourselves out of because we're still playing a role in them."

The Nerevarine stated.

We're all subject to the madness in the end, unfortunately. Petra still had the Elder Scroll with her, and maybe it wanted her to find it and to discover what she has to do to save Tamriel from a terrible fate. I'd go insane myself otherwise. But...he, the Nerevarine and Petra are those chosen to protect the world. I'm just a bystander with no real role other than causing havoc and being forced into something I never wanted to partake in. So it makes me like the chosen at least, in terms of that. Then I remember Petra's words...

_Sometimes you gotta do what you hate in order to survive..._

Had Petra's role been written long before that? It was doing my head in. But the facts spoke for themselves as Haskill had mentioned them. Is this why he was happy to help? But were there still other sinister reasons for it? And is Petra able to proceed.

"The townsfolk know of the newer legends surrounding known as Sotrahkun. They get the message quicker because, well, they can accept news better than most." Haskill said, recalling it as he scratched his chin.

"They've made songs and so forth. Our lord has been questioned about the whole matter by the other princes who are made known to the name being written throughout time."

The Nerevarine appeared curious.

"So what did he tell them?"

Haskill rolled his eyes.

"Go ask Akatosh. It's his problem."

Aye, sounds like something he'd say.

I'm wondering about things in terms of what he said about Petra's legend and how Sheogorath reacted to the news. The paintings of the imperials...the lass with the light brown hair and the light blue eyes. She did have startling resemblance to Petra. Wearing the white gown she was wearing before. I wanted to question the lad about it.

* * *

I wandered into the main chamber, behest of Haskill and the Nerevarine, to confront the suit-clad Daedra sitting lazily on his throne. I must have looked intimidating as his guards were cautious of my approach. I had to get to the bottom of this.

"Oh no, angry mortal coming through. Look, I told you the ship isn't ready yet.-"

"Is it true that Petra is your descendant?" I asked bluntly.

He tilted his head, puzzled about my words.

"My...descendant? Haha...I like drinking babies tears. Petra cries like one but she's too old."

I groaned.

"So you dress her up and pretend she's your dead wife?"

And it was then I received the most piercing glare from him that I felt something drop.

Oh Gods...but...I stood my ground. Then his face softened as quick as it had hardened.

"Wife? I am not married mortal. I am betrothed to the walls of my realm. Funny though, ever been married to a wall? Should try it. They can listen to you all day and make not comment."

I sighed.

"Look, I'm sorry if this is all random to you. But...if please stop messing around with Petra...or what ever you're doing here. I appreciate the help and I'm sure Petra..does as well, but time itself is falling apart and we're delaying this too much."

He lifted his head. The white in his eyes glinted as he studied me. I couldn't imagine him as being some protector of Cyrodiil, let alone Tamriel. I couldn't see any mortal past those sets of white flammable orbs in his thick head.

"No I get random. I get random as I throw people into the sun or feed them the twigs from a Gooligar tree. Spicy stuff. Time has been flowing for years and for it to break is Akatosh's doing. That dragon has no manners...but Sotrahkun. Oh she's kind enough. Prefers not to venture too far from her little cavern. Makes me visit her. Annoying, but I like what she does with the place. Oh...goodness I wish I had her architect. Mine as lost to a ripe addiction to Gooligar Twigs you know...now his designs are filled with nothing but those trees. I wanted my lumberjacks to get rid of them, but you have to see that the twigs are too good to get rid of."

I see what Haskill meant. The Daedra had trouble focusing. I needed to get him into the game properly.

"You know I'm a Septim right?" I told him.

He blinked.

"A...a Septim? An honest to...a dishonest Septim? Hah...really? A child of Tiber himself? _Oooo_ and that Martin fellow. Can you turn into a dragon?"

I shook my head.

"Sadly no. I can grow wings like one."

He smirked.

"Oh...hm...not quite a dragon."

I had to keep pushing.

"Tiber had a illegitimate child with an elf. I'm a descendant of Talos himself."

Sheogorath cackled.

"_Reaaalllly_? That little scamp of a Man-God. Sometimes you gotta be glad that some people can't keep it in their pants. Keeping it out of their pants is an interesting accomplishment, provided that you're shot down for it of course. In the old days thats how men used to propose to women. Now it gets you a slap on the face...or worse..."

I really didn't want to know that. He then got up and looked at me from head to toe, with his hand on his face with a smile. I still stood my ground as he searched all over. He then shuffled my body about for some reason, before claiming my Amulet of Mara. Gods damnit...

"Oh so you have an Mara Amulet? Proposing are we? I-"

He froze as he spoke, his face falling from it's smile to a more neutral state. I looked at Haskill who shrugged.

"Hmmm...her spirit not lingers here but traverses the realms of Sovngarde. Shame I can't access it nor get her to come here." He said, voice monotone and calm for once. His eyes suddenly shifted on mine as he tilted his head and got uncomfortably close as he put his face near my eye and whispered into it.

"Mortal...your experiences of love as a greater passion is the ultimate madness of them all. Love is the one emotion that twists us and burns us to do absolutely stupid things. It churns you and destroys you. And you have...you are mad for Petra..."

I gulped and nodded reluctantly, only because I was rather...unsure of his own meaning on it.

"Aye, that I am. Just as you were mad back then. I aim to protect Petra. I am no God or Daedra, but I have a will and a blade strong enough that I wouldn't need any."

He laughed and stepped back.

"A will and a blade you say? Visiting Sotrahkun requires strength and insanity to bind yourself to the riverblades of the Currents to stay alive. The song and dance that my people have been singing throughout the streets. Good enough you came here, my realm has the strongest connection to the Laaglein. I have had people, previously demanding entry. Told them, I'll give you an entry and whacked them on the head and let them find their own way there. I killed one of them by accident of course but I'm _pret-ty_ sure one of them made it."

I had hoped as much or else this wasn't going to work. I crossed my arms.

"So when is the boat finished?" I asked him once more.

He rolled his eyes.

"Goodness you mortals are impatient. I should turn you into a skeever for considering that I go quicker, _buuuut_ I won't. It's almost done! Perfection and function requires a delicate touch, especially with what it's made out of. Materials are hard to come by so I require no mistakes in production."

I just wanted something to get there and quick.

"So you have being seeing her name a lot?"

I had made the assumption as Champions who are linked to this crap, that he'd definitely know more.

"All the time. It's annoying. It fades away after all. She fellows me like a hawk. Although, Hawks don't follow. You're probably thinking of a raven, crow...a ravencrow. A name's a name. Sending messages everywhere without content I don't respond to. I consider very rude where someone does that. But I like pranks meself. Ever had a temporary tattoo?"

I smirked.

"No. I haven't. So it's true. I don't need anything else."

* * *

I wandered off in the belief that in terms of who he was in regards to the White Dragon getting contact with previous heroes in order to save time. This was what she wanted after all. For the like-minded to gather and save the land from impending doom.

I went into the same chamber where Petra had been resting and observed all the imperial décor in there. No doubt he had this designed on purpose, seeing pictures of Martin Septim, the one whom h had once hung out with as a mortal. Haskill was right in saying he'd been lost in his role, but overall, there were a few cracks there where his normal self had come through.

It made me wonder if a lot of Daedra were like this. Lost fragments of a past personality, warped and churned into the monsters that they become.

Martin was...well, pretty much an ancestor, if not actually directly. Still hard to believe. If I met Tiber Septim myself I'd be fully convinced of the implications. But I certainly do not want to be Emperor.

I wanted the dragon problem solved. I wanted the time problem solved then we could think of our own futures involved. I held the amulet closely and prayed for a better outcome. That was until Haskill came into the room.

"You made quite the impact in the main chamber there young man." He said.

I chuckled.

"Sorry if I ticked him off in some way. Does he want me dead?"

He shook his head.

"No of course not. He's busy contemplating what you've told him. But he's told me to give you...this.."

He brought out a black box, curiously and flipped the lid open. Inside the red silk folds of the fabric was a golden necklace, with some kind of ruby pendant that had once been shattered, then repaired with haste.

"What is it?" I wondered.

"Ancient artifact." He answered.

"It was destroyed in the Oblivion Crisis. It used to have a terrific power, but now it's just a piece of broken jewellery. He's kept it for sentimental value. However, after your little rant with him, he wants you...well, mostly Petra to have it. But he wants you to give it to her."

I was really confused at this stage. Why?

"Our Lord works in mysterious ways. However, he's not forgotten his ordeals completely. He's only lost in his role to turn back. It's better that way for all of us. Or else getting him confused with his mortal self would only mean destruction."

I nodded.

"Aye. And that's nothing to laugh about, either."

I observed it quite closely. Shattered and repaired. I felt through it and my fingers touch every break, every smooth and pointed surface. He must have meant by message for sure. But unfortunately I wasn't getting it.

My blood was burning from it, strangely enough. It's funny, as who I am I can sense those magical subtleties now. Or maybe it was just from experience. Who knew?

* * *

I tried to see where Petra stood as his relative. She wasn't mad herself, just a bit vulnerable. Not weak, just doesn't have enough confidence in herself.

It's also amusing how the past catches up with us and we don't know it. Years after wars and battles happen, we're left feeling the ripple years later and the pieces we have to pick up that are left sitting there or taken by somebody else.

The Nerevarine describes it as we are all fated whether we like it or not. We can grab and pull at the strings to make it go to our end. Our goal can to be fight what we're destined to, but it's either you end up meeting it quicker or making the problem ten times worse. And I figure I am born here to help. I am here to not just alleviate Petra's fears but my own. If I have no fate I will make my own. And if my fate condemns me to more pain than it warrants my sacrifices, I'll do my best to make sure I'll know if it's the only way to do it.

Regarding the talk in terms of Sheogorath feeling guilty regarding Petra's circumstances that the daedra all take an interest in her, may explain Molag Bal and Nocturnal's eagerness for them to serve them. A Daedra's Daughter makes for an interesting topic amongst the planes of Oblivion, or...Daedra's great time times what ever daughter who resembles his dead wife. Just as much as conversations resolving herself as Dragonborn pertain to Skyrim.

Petra knows what she has to do. I don't however. My role is nothing but darkness that seeks to destroy and I will continue to work against it. I want to good for once. The Nerevarine and Ayisha have their worlds defined before them for the benefit of their kind...and I'm just a mess that needs to put up a front to see if it was okay to go out and see the world without being compromised with death, of all things.

I don't want to be Emperor or royalty at all. I just want to be with Petra and live my life out with her. I seek it so much that I just want this over and done with so she can be safe.

Maybe I should do it soon. Ask her to marry me. I have to get the perfect opportunity. Sometime soon, get married as soon as we could. We have already claimed one another. Why wouldn't she?

The darkness could be around the corner any day now and uncertainty built around us as quickly as it ever had been. I put the other necklace away and brought out the Amulet once more. Come on Brynjolf, just do it. You love her don't you? Sheogorath doesn't seem to mind. I hope. Goodness knows I wouldn't use him for advice. No. I had to do this. Even if we were just in some crazy realm of Oblivion...

Thankfully, I could get help...I think.


End file.
